Session 1063
Translations: ES PT

Now What Do I Want?

Topics:

"Now What Do I Want?"
"Pay Attention to What You Are Choosing"
"The Expression of Anger Is Victim"

Thursday, April 25, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Carla (Jilliane)
Elias arrives at 11:50 AM. (Arrival time is 23 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

CARLA: Morning!

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! How shall we proceed this day?

CARLA: Many questions!

ELIAS: Very well.

CARLA: Lots of changes, Elias, lots of changes in my life right now since we spoke last August. I guess I want to touch on, well, we're selling our house right now and it's something that I'm not real conflicted about. I'm conflicted only because of the way it's happening. I'm not really sure what I'm trying to achieve here. I want a change, but I'm going about it in a kind of a drastic way.

We've sold our house and my husband and the kids moved over to Minneapolis, which was something I didn't want but somehow it's... I don't know if it's necessary; however, I understand it. I'd like to know if you could comment on what I'm doing right now.

ELIAS: Specify the nature of your conflict.

CARLA: We've sold the house, yet I am taking my sweet time packing up and leaving. My big conflict is I'm not really sure where I want to go. I don't want to move over to Minneapolis. I've already expressed that very strongly. The conflict is, where am I gonna go?

ELIAS: Very well, therefore you express what you do NOT want; now LISTEN to yourself and your communication to yourself. Allow yourself to quiet yourself and listen to your communications to yourself and thusly identify what you DO want.

CARLA: I know right now that with selling the house and the movement within that is what I do want.

ELIAS: Correct.

CARLA: But that gets us to that point, now what do I want after that?

ELIAS: Let me express to you first of all, you are offering yourself imagery and communications in relation to what you do not want, that may be imaging itself in an expression of not wanting to move to a specific location, but this is not the communication that you are offering to yourself.

Now; in this, let us together examine this situation. This is the reason that you are not necessarily presenting to yourself an identification of what you want in relation to physical movement in locations, for this is actually not the point of your communication to yourself.

Now; you have already expressed to myself that your family has engaged movement to this city and that you have offered communication that you do not necessarily want to be moving to this city.

Now; shall you attempt to identify what is occurring in this scenario, what are you are experiencing? What is your signal of feeling? Therefore, we may examine the communication.

CARLA: I know what I'm doing, but I can't put it into words. I'm not alarmed by this simply because I know, I know what I'm doing, but I simply cannot verbally express this. I am not distrusting myself of this path.

ELIAS: You are not distrusting yourself in...

CARLA: In what I'm creating. That's why I'm not alarmed. There's the residual wee bit of fear, wee bit of worry, because it's like, where am I gonna go? But that's not overwhelming.

ELIAS: I am understanding. What I am expressing to you is the opportunity to view more clearly what you are actually generating. Be remembering, objective imagery is quite abstract; therefore the actual physical movement to the location is not the concern.

CARLA: Okay, it's irrelevant.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes. For what you are generating is offering an expression of energy outwardly and a communication, and in that you are experiencing a perception that you are not being heard. Therefore, the attention of the other individuals is not directed to you and to the acknowledgment of your communication, in your perception.

Now; this is significant. It is not the actual physical location that you are concerning yourself with or that is generating conflict. It is the expression within yourself of a lack of acknowledgment of other individuals.

Now; as you are aware, this also is what may be termed to be a surface expression and also objective imagery, which is once again abstract. Therefore as you continue to investigate what you are expressing to yourself in feeling - which is the signal of the emotion - you may identify that you experience the feeling of frustration, which you are responding to in an action of defiance and procrastination.

You are also generating the signal of the feeling of disappointment, and in this what you are communicating to yourself is that within this present time framework you are generating some confusion in your movement and creating a perception that other individuals are not paying attention and are not listening; therefore you are not being heard and you are not being acknowledged, and this is a reflection of discounting of yourself.

Now; this is not being generated in relation to a fear or in relation to discounting of your ability but rather in your movement in conjunction with this shift in consciousness. As you are beginning to move into more of an expression of paying attention to yourself, figuratively speaking you are moving into the next step.

The imagery of physical movement is abstract. The physical movement to this city is the abstract imagery of physical movement to an area of unfamiliarity and therefore moving into a new expression, which generates some excitement but also is unfamiliar.

As I have stated, it is not the physical movement that holds significance, for this is not the point. The point is inwardly you are generating new movement in familiarity with yourself and in paying attention to yourself and a beginning of movement into an allowance of yourself to generate what you want and to allow yourself to express yourself in what you want freely. But this action is unfamiliar, for the beliefs that influence the restriction of that action are quite strong in relation to roles and interactions between family members.

CARLA: There are roles that we play, and now my husband is taking over the role of mother and I'm not really sure if I want that role back. I do, but I'm not sure if I do in the conventional capacity.

ELIAS: I am understanding, and there are tremendous judgments that are expressed in relation to these beliefs. In this, what you are questioning and addressing to is your allowance of yourself to be freely expressing yourself in what you want and to freely offer your expression without restriction and without judgment within yourself.

You move your perception and attention to concentrate upon the other individuals rather than paying attention to what you are generating within yourself, and therefore you concern yourself with the perceptions of the other individuals and what you perceive to be the expectations of other individuals in relation to roles - not merely role of parent and child or mother and child but also in association with your partner and the role that you express within your beliefs that you SHOULD be generating.

But in moving more into an expression of allowance of yourself - which in actuality moves quite in conjunction with this shift in consciousness, and IS the point - you are actually widening your awareness. In that expression of widening your awareness, you are beginning to examine you and generate a relationship with you, recognizing that this is the most significant action that you may be incorporating.

In this there is a hesitancy and a reluctancy to move in this new expression, for you generate expectations of yourself and judgments upon what you genuinely want and what you express within your beliefs that you SHOULD want. Even in your statements to myself there is tremendous hesitancy within your energy to be expressing outwardly verbally: "My partner has assumed the role of mother and I am not sure whether I wish to re-engage that role"; but you qualify in your judgment: "But I do wish to be, but I'm not sure, but I DO wish to be." For even in association with myself, who generates no judgment in relation to your choice and offers to you no expression but acceptance, your judgment of yourself is intense.

CARLA: I know I have a lot of judgment about this and I have had much fear. In our last conversation, anxiety ruled and I was beside myself with it. It was horrible, but at least this time it's not wrapped up in fear.

ELIAS: No, and I express to you, contrary to what you have stated, you are not generating much of an expression of fear.

CARLA: I have one big huge task in front of me, and it's my procrastination, avoidance of the mundane. I've got a lot of paperwork to go through and a lot of bills to go through and a lot of things that are going to need attending to and whatever. I've tried every morning; the first thing I think of is "today is the day I'm going to do it." I've said that 150 times now...

ELIAS: Jilliane! Listen to what you are choosing. This aspect of you offers you tremendous information in relation to what you want - not what you THINK, but what you genuinely want. Procrastination is not necessarily a negative expression. Individuals generate this action in communication to themselves, as are you.

You express to myself, "I view these tasks each day," and what are you expressing? "I choose not to engage them," and this is what you actually generate. This is what you DO: you choose not to be engaging these tasks. You express to yourself, "I should be engaging these tasks; I must be engaging these tasks," but you choose not to be.

Now; express to myself, what is the necessity that YOU engage these tasks?

CARLA: That is my whole question to myself. What is the necessity?

ELIAS: What shall occur if you do not engage these tasks?

CARLA: If I engage them I'll know what bills are due, instead of waiting for the guy to come and shut my power off! (Laughs) I'm not the only one going through this. I've engaged a lot of others within this group who are experiencing the same lackluster attitude about this stuff.

ELIAS: If you do not generate these actions, shall no other individual generate them?

CARLA: If I don't generate the actions?

ELIAS: Yes. If you choose not to be engaging these tasks, what shall prevent another individual from engaging these tasks?

CARLA: Do you mean engaging these tasks for me? I'm not sure what you mean.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, it is not necessarily for YOU.

CARLA: I know what you're saying - what would prevent these tasks from being accomplished.

ELIAS: Correct, and what prevents you from expressing to another individual or to your partner that you choose not to engage these tasks, and therefore you shall not?

CARLA: Okay, I'll tell you what prevents me: "What do you do all day? Are you lazy?" (Elias and Carla laugh) You see where that's going.

ELIAS: I am understanding, but be remembering, YOU are creating that. Therefore if YOU are expressing an acceptance of your choices and allowing yourself the freedom to be generating what you want and expressing your own preferences without judgment in acceptance, you shall also project a different type of energy and you shall generate a different response.

CARLA: I usually know what's going on with me by the reactions of my husband. He is a good example of a true reflection. I must be creating some sort of an allowance because I seem to be creating an ease within our interactions lately.

ELIAS: Correct, for you are experimenting.

CARLA: Am I?

ELIAS: You are moving yourself, as you have stated, incrementally into an allowance of yourself to be expressing your preferences and the freedom of your energy to create what YOU want and to express yourself in freedom and generate more of a clarity in your relationship with yourself, more of an acceptance. As you continue in your experimentation of this action, you validate yourself in the reflection of your partner.

CARLA: It's only since I've been aware of your material, not so much Seth but with your material, that I've really started to notice this. When my husband is on a tirade or becomes really upset with me, I just stand back and instead of becoming reactionary, I ask myself, "Carla, why are you generating this?"

ELIAS: I am understanding, and this is significant movement within yourself.

CARLA: I want to touch on another thing here. Since we've started moving and going through all this I've been getting imagery in the way of flat tires. I keep running over stuff. I run over stuff with the van; I run over stuff with the car. I only have one tire left that hasn't been punctured. I'm not really sure what this imagery means or what I'm trying to tell myself with this. (Elias grins)

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! This is once again abstract objective imagery, and this imagery you are presenting to yourself is the same as the procrastination. You are offering yourself physical objective imagery, attempting to offer yourself messages to pay attention to you, to allow yourself to move in what YOU want, not necessarily in the dictates of others or in the expectations that you place upon yourself in relation to what you SHOULD do, offering yourself the freedom of your expression and your preferences. Look to this imagery of puncturing tires, and what does this create? Slowing in movement or stopping, which is merely another objective expression of the same...

CARLA: Oh, okay! I've had a lot of imagery with stoplights and brake lights coming on in the vehicle, so you mean like "stopping" imagery?

ELIAS: Yes, which you may view as a clear example of the many, many different expressions of objective imagery that you may present to yourself that all are expressions of the same subject.

CARLA: I never thought of it that way. That makes a lot of sense, because earlier this week right after I got the latest tire fixed, I went and ran over a bottle! I immediately stopped and went, "Boy, Carla, you better pay attention to what you're thinking to yourself!" At least it brought that part of it, paying attention, into perspective.

ELIAS: Yes, not necessarily moving your attention to thought, although you may, but paying attention to you and paying attention to what you are creating, what you are DOING. What you are doing is what you are choosing.

CARLA: It's hard for me to tell the difference between the thinking, choosing, doing, all in that moment. Boy, but does that make sense, I mean with the "stop" imagery, because there is this one stoplight at an intersection and I swear it was playing tricks on me. For the last six months or so it would turn red on me right as I was approaching it. I'm the ONLY one out at this time of the morning and there is no apparent reason why it should just turn right as I'm coming up! It's like it's saying, "Oh, here comes Carla, better turn RED!" This has happened so many times now it's absurd. One time when I attempted to cross the intersection from the other way, I actually had to go through it because it wouldn't turn green at all! (Elias laughs) I thought about you and was wondering if you were having fun with me.

ELIAS: Do not credit myself with this action. You are generating this yourself.

CARLA: Am I? I don't doubt that at all. I suppose since I created the flat tires, I can create the stoplight action too.

Okay, Elias, I've got another biggie! (Elias chuckles) I have issues with my sister. I've had issues with my sister for about the last decade. My impression is that of mirror or parallel counterpart action. Can you validate that?

ELIAS: Yes.

CARLA: You know, through all these years and all the fights, altercations, whatever we've had, I still find myself getting drawn back to her. However now I've created a situation where I feel I'm finally putting the stops on it. Would you like me to elaborate on the situation?

ELIAS: Very well, continue.

CARLA: Cari represents to me camouflage and deceitfulness. From what I've gathered looking through the old transcripts, I don't think you've really addressed this issue of like pathological lying. I believe I'm presenting myself with a reflection of lack of trustfulness within myself, but can't figure out why I've presented myself with such an exaggeration of this. Can you comment on why she is like that? This is not just my own impression; many others share this impression.

ELIAS: I am understanding and it matters not. What holds significance is YOUR perception and why YOU present this to yourself. Other individuals may incorporate a similar perception of the energy expression that this individual generates and they may be presenting this expression to themselves for their own individual purposes, so to speak.

Now; what is significant in this is that YOU present this to yourself that you may examine YOUR beliefs concerning absolutes and concerning honesty - which you view to be an absolute and almost a truth, which it is not - and what may appear to you to be a falsehood may appear to her to be not a falsehood. This is what you present to yourself as an example of differences of perceptions and how you generate automatic duplicity in association with difference. As I have stated previously, difference generates threat within your physical dimension in association with duplicity and your beliefs; sameness generates comfort.

Now; as you present the expressions of this individual to yourself, YOU are creating that perception and you specifically create that to allow yourself the opportunity to examine your associations with the absoluteness of perception. You do not draw to yourself any individual accidentally or within an accidental or coincidental time framework. Every individual that you encounter, YOU generate. You generate this purposefully to offer yourself an opportunity of clarity in relation to yourself and the opportunity to examine your associations with certain manifestations, creations and expressions. It matters not what this individual may express outwardly, what is significant is your perception of it.

CARLA: That makes sense because she is so persuasive and so adamant about certain things. It's like she actually does believe it. She does believe what she is saying, doesn't she?

ELIAS: Yes.

CARLA: Even if she says something that I KNOW is not true?

ELIAS: Ah, but this is YOUR perception!

CARLA: Yeah, yeah! But it DIDN'T happen!

ELIAS: In YOUR reality!

CARLA: (Laughs) This is a challenge. I've been challenging myself with this one for a long time.

ELIAS: And this is the manner in which reality moves. I may express to you, my friend, quite definitely, that you may be in the same time framework, in the same environment, in the same location and interactive with another individual, and you may perceive the action in one manner and they may perceive the action in an entirely different manner.

CARLA: I got this impression of my sister one day when she was over and was sitting at the table, and it reminded me of what you said about my next door neighbor, Alice, when you stated she was not in transition but was an example of someone who was focused on self quite strongly. I get the same feeling with Cari, my sister. Am I correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

CARLA: That's it, that's the correlation I draw between those two. Like with my neighbor, it's not a transitional thing, it's about focusing on self and that's what my sister does.

ELIAS: Yes.

CARLA: I've had arguments with her saying, "It's all about you, isn't it, Cari? Everything's about you!" And it is, isn't? (Laughs)

ELIAS: Quite.

CARLA: She focuses on herself more than I focus on myself, right?

ELIAS: Yes, and this is what generates irritation within you. For you view this individual expressing what you want to be expressing within yourself.

CARLA: Yeah, because I don't wanna give a shit just like she doesn't and Alice doesn't. The one similarity they have is they can yell and scream and do whatever in public. They do stuff I'd never allow myself to do in public.

ELIAS: Let me clarify to you, my friend, there is a significant difference between a lack of caring and a lack of concern. It is quite different to be not concerning yourself with the expressions of other individuals or the choices of other individuals or even the behaviors of other individuals, and not caring. Caring is a natural expression of essence, for this is the recognition of the lack of separation.

Concern is quite a different expression. Concerning yourself with the expressions of other individuals is moving your attention away from yourself and directing it to the other individual.

Therefore, I may identify to you, these individuals are not expressing a lack of caring, they are merely expressing a lack of concern.

CARLA: Because they are focusing on themselves.

ELIAS: Correct.

CARLA: The last time we spoke you validated for me that she is common and that she is a final focus, those were my impressions. Now I'll give you my impressions of her family and alignment: Sumari, Vold, emotional.

ELIAS: Correct.

CARLA: Whew, that was easy! (Elias laughs)

One more thing - she took money from me. She took two checks out of the middle of an unused checkbook, and I'm not taking the victim stance here. But in regards to perception, I didn't write her out those checks, at least not in my reality. Does she actually believe in her reality that I wrote her out those checks?

ELIAS: No.

CARLA: Okay, I didn't think so. Well, we're pressing charges against her. It's not because I feel like a victim, it's just because I'm MAD! I'm mad at myself for letting this happen. She did exactly what I expected her to do.

ELIAS: Ah, and this is significant!

CARLA: Expectation?

ELIAS: Yes. For you have generated an expectation in association with your concentration upon certain beliefs.

Now; let me express to you, I am aware that the subject of expectation is confusing to many individuals. For, at times you do generate precisely what you expect; in other time frameworks you do not. What generates creating precisely what you expect are the beliefs that you align with and are concentrating upon.

Now; as you generate certain beliefs in association with truth in relation to honesty and the absoluteness of that and the lack of acceptance of difference in perception, you generate validation of your beliefs and you create precisely what you expect.

CARLA: I remember one morning when I was thinking about this as a possibility, and I kept telling myself, "Don't create it! Don't create that happening, Carla!" I figured by that time, when I'm into the fear/resistance mode, I'm already done; I've already created it happening.

ELIAS: Quite!

CARLA: So I figure what's the use - it's already done!

ELIAS: And the expression that you generate in thought is merely reinforcing what you already know.

CARLA: Well, I did something that I believe that she did not believe I would do.

ELIAS: And what is your point in engaging this action? For this is significant.

CARLA: To arrest it, to STOP it.

ELIAS: Ah, therefore you express to yourself that if you engage this action, this shall alter the choices and the behavior of the other individual.

CARLA: No, I don't think it's that. It's just that I don't want to do this anymore.

ELIAS: Very well, then express to myself your identification of your motivation in generating this particular action in its benefit to you and your listening and acknowledgment of you, and not concerning...

CARLA: I feel that I'm generating this because I'm pissed at her. I've had ENOUGH! It's anger.

ELIAS: And what is the expression of anger?

CARLA: (Big sigh) It's gotta come back to me.

ELIAS: Quite. The expression of anger is victim.

CARLA: Anger, angry with myself because I didn't listen to myself or my initial communication with myself. I only partially listened and I allowed it to happen, and that's why I'm angry.

ELIAS: The expression of anger is the lack of choice, which is victim.

CARLA: So even if I'm claiming I'm not feeling like a victim, I'm not true in that?

ELIAS: Correct.

CARLA: But do you understand?

ELIAS: (Very firmly) I am quite understanding of your energy expression. I am merely offering to you the opportunity to be genuinely examining what you are creating and [to be] generating an objective understanding of your choices and what motivates those choices, and therefore offering you a clearer avenue to manipulate your energy in a manner which is in conjunction with what you want.

In the moments that you are concentrating your attention upon the actions or choices of another individual, you are NOT paying attention to yourself, and in engaging certain actions in relation to another individual, not paying attention to your own communications that you are offering to yourself, many times you are attempting to alter the expression of another individual, and that is an attempt to create another individual's reality, which you may not do.

CARLA: I really went into this trying to examine all of my feelings about it.

ELIAS: (Continues firmly and emphatically) Let me express to you, my friend, were you to engage this same action in involvement of other individuals, those that you perceive to be authorities, and your motivation clearly being that in your choice to incorporate that avenue you shall offer yourself the freedom to discontinue this expectation and to offer yourself a clearer avenue of your own movement in acceptance of yourself and trust of your ability to generate what you want in your reality, and not concern yourself any longer with the choices of the other individual and allow yourself a new freedom in acceptance, this may generate the type of outcome that you genuinely want; but if you are engaging this direction motivated by anger, what you are expressing and what you are reinforcing...

CARLA: Is a lack of choice.

ELIAS: Correct, and you shall merely reinforce generating the continuation of this type of expression and interaction, for you are expressing lack of trust within yourself. You are moving your attention to another individual, and you are expressing victim within yourself in the lack of choice and the lack of your own ability to generate choice in association with what you want, for you are focusing your attention upon the other individual and their choices and their behaviors.

CARLA: I don't think anyone could be as much of an excellent example of this. All these years, there has been no other that I've focused my attention on so much outside of myself as her. Do you understand?

ELIAS: Yes, which provides you with an excellent challenge.

Now; I am not expressing to you that this challenge may not be difficult or that you may not incorporate struggle in this challenge, for the beliefs that are expressed are quite strong; but you do provide yourself with a tremendous challenge, which also generates a tremendous opportunity. For in accepting this challenge and allowing yourself to genuinely examine yourself and familiarize yourself with your motivations, your beliefs, and what you are perceiving and where your attention moves, you offer yourself the tremendous opportunity to generate genuine freedom.

CARLA: I am not unaware of our interactions over the years and what I've presented to myself with her. It's been confusing at times, and it's been very strong and very persistent. The reason I bring it up now is that in my mind I'm feeling that I'm trying to bring it to an end. I don't want to do this.

ELIAS: And you are experimenting.

CARLA: Because engaging in this prosecuting, it's very unfamiliar.

ELIAS: Quite, and I may express to you, do not misunderstand what I have offered to you. I am not expressing to you that your choice of this action is bad or wrong or wrongly motivated. I am merely offering you information that you may allow yourself to examine your motivation.

Now; also be aware that even if you initially engage this action through the motivation of attempting to alter her expression or to be altering her reality, it matters not. For you may alter YOUR direction in any moment: continue the physical action, but alter your motivation. You are not locked to an expression merely that you generate one choice within one moment. Even in continuing with a specific choice and a specific movement, you may alter the expression of how you continue with that movement.

CARLA: I feel that happening right now.

ELIAS: As you offer yourself more information, yes!

CARLA: I feel this because I initially started out with this in anger, but as time goes on there is not as much venom behind the action. But I intend on continuing with this action because there are other reasons.

ELIAS: For your perception is altering, for you are allowing yourself to incorporate more information and therefore move your attention to you and change your motivation, offering yourself choice, knowing that you incorporate beliefs - expressing an acknowledgment of those beliefs and not attempting to eliminate them, merely acknowledging their existence - but also knowing that you may choose.

CARLA: I feel that I am now calmer within this and am not as reactionary.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

CARLA: She's like my big school project that I've been working on for ten years! I've ALLOWED her to be my source of anger, frustration. I've just allowed her to be my source... (Elias laughs) No, she's not THE source...

ELIAS: I am understanding.

CARLA: Well, I've learned a lot, I guess.

ELIAS: But as I have stated, in this tremendous challenge is also expressed the potential for a tremendous freedom.

CARLA: Is that what I'm attempting to do?

ELIAS: Yes.

CARLA: That's what I thought, because I'm engaging in an action that's unfamiliar.

ELIAS: Yes, you are allowing yourself to be examining different scenarios and your participation, and therefore offering to yourself a new recognition of your ability, your power, your preferences and the freedom to generate what you want.

CARLA: I must be right at the pinnacle of this, because I'm creating so much intensity and all these changes I'm creating right now, right in this moment. I think I just want to move on. I don't want to be stuck in this anymore.

ELIAS: I am understanding, and this is an expression that is occurring throughout your world. There is a tremendous thrust of energy which is occurring presently, that individuals throughout your world are experiencing this similar type of exploration and this experience of approaching the threshold of genuine awareness of self and genuine allowance of self.

CARLA: But there's so much conflict and confusion because it's so unfamiliar. That's why there's so much unrest. The word "shift," it's things moving, it's unrest, and it becomes very confusing. I don't think people know how to act, or they react because it's unfamiliar and traumatic.

ELIAS: It is a reconfiguration. As I have stated, most individuals within any time framework within your physical dimension incorporate the orientation of common, and the natural expression of individuals of the orientation of common is to be expressing outwardly, and in this it has become a familiar action for common individuals to also hold their attention outwardly. This is not a natural movement, but it has become a familiar expression in the common orientation, for their natural movement is to express outwardly in manifestation.

Now; in this, as most individuals do incorporate the orientation of common, most of your physical dimension express in this manner, and therefore this is the potentiality of trauma in association with this shift, for one of the movements of this shift is to be reconfiguring the energy of your physical dimension from the outward expression, the intellectual, the male, to the inward, intuitional, female, and in this moving the intention of each individual to self to allow you to direct yourselves objectively, intentionally. In this, the common orientation is quite unfamiliar with that action, and this generates tremendous potential for trauma.

CARLA: Well, we're seeing it! Everyday there's some new shifting stuff. I see it every day.

I had a dream a while back where it seemed as though I was in a museum and there were all these separate rooms devoted to like different time periods, and I believe you or a projection of you were one of the speakers in these rooms. (Elias nods in agreement) Now, this did not occur to me until about two days later that it might have been you.

ELIAS: An energy projection, yes.

CARLA: The only reason I didn't let go of that dream was because the speaker was unusual. I had the dream late last year and the speaker kept asking me about things from nine years ago, like "how's so and so" and things he could not have known unless he knew me nine years ago. Now, this has something to do with the Seth material, doesn't it?

ELIAS: What is your impression?

CARLA: It does.

ELIAS: Yes.

CARLA: My impression is that nine years ago I was subjectively involved with you, but you directed me toward the Seth material because at that time it would be more helpful.

ELIAS: Correct.

CARLA: Another reason why I thought it was your energy projection was that you started telling me stuff I became uncomfortable with and I left almost like in mid-sentence. For some reason I came back again and you just started up right where you left off! (Elias grins) Now who else does that? (Elias laughs loudly) It was two days later before I even figured out who the energy projection looked like!

Okay, this Oscar Wilde thing: I've never read him, maybe someday...

ELIAS: It matters not!

CARLA: But I know what he looks like, and why was he dressed up like a "droogie" from the movie "A Clockwork Orange"? Now, only I would associate that with Beethoven! I saw that disturbing movie when I was about six years old and do NOT recommend this to any other young one! Only I would know the symbolism within this movie to Beethoven and the lead character, Alex, and his penchant for Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

ELIAS: You are offering of imagery to yourself in association with my energy projection, in an extreme or an intensity to allow yourself more of a positive identification.

CARLA: It wasn't positive? I thought it was funny.

ELIAS: Yes. I am not expressing to you "positive" in the context of positive and negative, but rather positive in affirmative.

CARLA: I'm much more trusting of my impressions now, ever since you got me on that very first question from my first session. You asked me for my impression and I just about choked, so after that I became much more relaxed and trusting instead of worrying about whether I'm wrong or not. (Elias laughs)

Now I've got another question regarding focuses. I haven't really tuned into any famous-type focuses, but I do want to bring up two musicians which I think I may have a connection to. The first one is Syd Barrett from the original Pink Floyd and the other is Kurt Cobain from Nirvana. These have to be valid impressions because I've had strong feelings in regards to these individuals for a long time.

ELIAS: They are valid impressions. They are not other focuses of your essence, but your impressions are valid in a similarity of energy expression and tone to your essence.

CARLA: They're both Vold? (Laughs) One of them is Vold, aren't they?

ELIAS: One, yes.

CARLA: Kurt Cobain is Vold.

ELIAS: Yes. But this is not what I am expressing to you.

CARLA: So I'm connecting to the same type of energy expression?

ELIAS: Yes, which you also express within your essence, a similarity in qualities and a similarity in energy in preferences.

CARLA: That can't be too uncommon then, when people are drawn to certain actors, certain musicians, certain bands.

ELIAS: Correct.

CARLA: That kind of minimizes it for me.

ELIAS: And what is your exp...

CARLA: I just thought it was bigger than that! (Laughs)

ELIAS: Ah! For there are genuine...

CARLA: You know, I was thinking, oh, I've got a famous focus! (Elias laughs with Carla)

I wanna squeeze one last one in here. King Henry VIII - was I one of his wives or do I know someone who had a focus as King Henry VIII?

ELIAS: You incorporate as an observing essence throughout the entirety of the focus of the son.

CARLA: Edward?

ELIAS: Yes.

CARLA: The sick son, the sickly one? I was an observing essence to his son, the one he had with his third wife, Jane Seymour?

ELIAS: Yes.

CARLA: I wouldn't have guessed that - I mean I wouldn't have IMPRESSIONED that! (Elias laughs loudly)

Oh Elias, I can't press you any farther, even though I still have a half a page of questions left to go! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! I'll probably have more questions from this session, too. (Elias laughs)

Elias, did you notice an energy difference with me this time?

ELIAS: Yes, which I acknowledged previously in our discussion.

CARLA: Previously?

ELIAS: In THIS discussion.

CARLA: I'm much more relaxed.

ELIAS: Yes. Therefore acknowledge yourself, my friend.

CARLA: Well, it's time to go.

ELIAS: Very well, and I shall be anticipating our next meeting and the report of your adventure.

CARLA: Well, look at all that's happened between our first session and this one! We're always interesting to you, aren't we?

ELIAS: Quite! Ha ha ha!

CARLA: I bet I'll have plenty more to report! Thank you, Elias.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I offer to you as always my encouragement and my affection, and express to you, au revoir.

CARLA: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 1:29 PM.

©2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved


Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.