Paying Attention to Messages from Feelings
“Paying Attention to Messages from Feelings”
“Turn Your Unsafe into a Spotlight”
Saturday, October 20, 2012 (Group/Hinsdale, New Hampshire)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Aaron (Todd), Abby S., Ann (Vivette), Axel (Ricarro), Ben (Sumarian), Bill (Zit), Bonnie (Lyla), Brian S., Brigitt S., Carole J., Diane M., Ester (Ashule), Gail (William), George (Bethette), Jean François G., Jen C., Patricia (Liva), Jenna C., John (Rrussell), John (Lonn), Kathleen (Florencia), Ken (Oba), Lorraine (Kayia), Mark (Ogean), Melissa (Leah), Pat (Fryolla), Pat (Treice), Peter S., Roberto (Francine), Rodney (Zacharie), Sandra (Atafah), Terri (Uliva), Wynn (Zai)
Elias arrives at 12:30 p.m. (Arrival time is 21 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
GROUP: Good afternoon!
ELIAS: Welcome to all. This day we will be discussing partially senses, as this wave is moving to a close, but we will also be discussing emotions and the signals that are generated by emotions and by physical expressions. You generate feelings in two manners: physical and emotional, and these are all signals.
Now; before we engage conversation in relation to these signals, let me explain to you that these signals are generated by your subjective awareness. Most individuals are not generally paying attention to their subjective awareness. In this, as that is the case, you have developed a very efficient method to alert yourselves when you are offering yourselves a message, and that is through these signals which are feelings, physical or emotional.
Now; what is important to understand in relation to the message is that it is not an explanation. It is not lengthy. It is a brief, precise statement that your subjective awareness is expressing to your objective awareness. When you are generating a feeling, your subjective awareness is generating a statement to you: “This is what you are doing in this moment.” It does not offer you a philosophy. It does not offer you a lengthy explanation of what you are doing. It merely expresses a statement.
Your objective awareness, as I have expressed many times, is very abstract. Therefore, for one subject, you can generate thousands of different types of imagery or expressions that all can be related to that one subject. Your subjective awareness is different. It is not abstract. It is very precise. It is very direct, and it does not concern itself with interpretation. There is no interpretation with the subjective awareness. It merely expresses a concise statement in relation to what you are doing, in the moment, that is prompting a feeling.
Now; in this, your senses are also very connected to these signals. They are very intertwined with this method of communication that you offer to yourselves. Your senses input information. Even when you think you are not paying attention in any particular capacity, your senses are inputting information continuously. And from that information that your senses input, your body consciousness seeks out memories that match the input that is being expressed by your senses, presently.
But your body consciousness does not distinguish between what is occurring now and what has occurred pastly. It is seeking out a memory to attach to the signal—the feeling that you are experiencing—to reinforce that feeling, to offer you a reference point in relation to that feeling: “You have felt this before. You have generated experiences pastly that have expressed this signal. You know what this signal is, for you have experienced it previously.” This is the function that the body consciousness engages, seeking out the memories that match the feeling that you are generating in the moment.
Now; as we have discussed previously, at times that can become confused, for you can move your attention to the memory and not be paying attention to what is occurring presently, and this becomes confusing, for you confuse “now” feelings with “then” feelings. This moves in conjunction with attachments and with associations, also with issues. If you generate an issue in relation to a particular subject, you have developed that issue in regard to many experiences relating to the same subject. This is how you develop an issue. Issues also are stored in memory, just as associations are stored in memory, and your body consciousness does not distinguish between “now” and “then.”
We discussed this aspect of “now” feelings and “then” feelings previously, and the very simple manner in which you can distinguish the difference between a “now” feeling and a “then” feeling. “Now” feelings always change. “Now” feelings change as immediately as the subject changes. As soon as your attention moves in the slightest manner in relation to a subject, the feeling changes if it is a “now” feeling, and it matters not how intense the feeling is. You can be distraught, you can be overwhelmed with fear, you can be very irritated, you can be extremely excited or what you term to be happy. As soon as your attention moves and that subject changes, the feeling also changes. It immediately stops. That is a “now” feeling.
“Then” feelings are different. They remain, and they also increase. You will notice, in an example of being happy or excited, if you are happy or you are excited, you will express the intensity of that happy or excited from the onset of the feeling. It will not increase. If you are very excited, you will be very excited immediately. It will initiate being very excited. It will not be somewhat excited and build to very excited. You will be that feeling from the onset of it. It will not change. It will not increase.
A “then” feeling, a feeling that is not associated with “now,” will and does. They increase. They linger. They remain. They continue. “Now” feelings do not continue. “Then” feelings do, which is the reason that individuals generate states such as depression. These are not “now” feelings. They are “then” feelings. They are attached to associations, issues—attachments that are influencing the individual. The body consciousness is seeking out memories and enhancing those feelings. And they build, and they linger. This is a very simple identification of the difference between “now” and “then” feelings.
We have engaged considerable conversation in relation to “then” feelings. Now we will be addressing to “now” feelings. In this, I would express that, regardless of how you as an individual, any of you, allow yourselves to feel or not feel, what you all share in common is difficulty and challenge in interpreting not only the message but the feeling itself, what it means. You all incorporate difficulties and challenges with messages.
I likely engage this question in almost every conversation that I engage with every individual: “I am generating this feeling. What does this mean?” (Group laughs) “I have this physical manifestation. What does this mean? What is the message? What am I attempting to tell myself? I am feeling this. What is the message that I am attempting to offer to myself?” And all of you are very familiar with your own expressions of this statement, or this question—that it is challenging, that you feel feelings, or we HOPE you feel feelings, but it is challenging to precisely define what are those feelings. And beyond what is the identification of the feeling, what does it mean to me? What is the meaning of this feeling that I am generating?
This is important. This is valuable information, and I would express that more than half of your objective information is expressed to you through your feelings. Therefore, if you are not paying attention, and if you are not defining what you feel, and you do not understand what that feeling means to you, you are missing half or more of the information that you can be offering to yourself. You all are very interested in shifting and expanding your awareness and growing. If you want to expand yourselves, if you want to become more aware, pay attention to what you feel. It is very important. There is a tremendous volume of information in those signals.
Now; in this, it is also important not to be general: “I feel upset.” What is the feeling of “upset”? There is no feeling of “upset.” It is a generalization of a combination of feelings. What is “upset”? It is a matter of defining specifically to yourself, what are you actually doing? “I am agitated.” “I am restless.” What does that mean? What are you doing if you are “restless”? There is a reason that you feel. Emotion is one of the two main components of the blueprint of your reality. If emotion is one of the main expressions of your reality, it is quite important, and it is how you express. If you are not expressing in this capacity, you are expressing only a portion of yourselves.
Now; this is not to say that I am expressing to any of you that you should be emoting continuously. No. Each of you feels in varying degrees and each of you, as you are aware, expresses different focus types. Some of you are thought-focused, some of you are political, some of you are emotional, and some of you are religious. That does influence how you feel or the intensity of what you feel or how much you feel. In this, it is not, necessarily, how often you feel, but paying attention to when you are feeling in any capacity. Some individuals are not even aware of when they are feeling, as I am aware Michael has shared. (Laughs) I am not stealing his thunder. (Group laughs with Elias) But this is also an important point: To begin to be aware.
If you are an individual that is not accustomed to paying attention to what you feel, generally, there is a very simple method that you can use to practice becoming more aware: Pay attention to your body. When you are feeling, your body responds. When you are excited, your muscles contract. When you are happy, your breathing changes. When you are sad, you constrict your breathing. When you are anxious, you breathe faster. Your muscles also begin to tense. When you are angry or you are irritated, you breathe heavier and your muscles tense. Your body is a tremendous indicator that you are feeling, even if you do not think you are feeling.
If you pay attention to what your body is expressing, you can begin to become familiar with signals. For your body offers you physical signals in addition to the emotional signals and, in this, you can begin to question yourself: “My solar plexus are tight. What would be a feeling that may be associated with my solar plexus being tight? What am I experiencing in this time framework?” And it may not be in that moment. It may be in the day. It may be that you have experienced some action several hours prior and, now, you are feeling in relation to what you were experiencing.
Not every individual experiences the feeling immediately. Some individuals experience the feeling after an experience. It is dependent upon how they process information. At times, in a manner of speaking, the feeling will catch up to the experience, for the individual is processing the experience and then they feel. Some individuals feel immediately in any experience. It is important to pay attention to YOU and how YOU feel, how YOU process those feelings. It is also important to acknowledge them. I cannot emphasize this enough.
It is not always a matter of doing some action with a feeling, but it is always a matter of acknowledging what you are feeling. For when you do not acknowledge yourself and what you are feeling, those feelings move into held energy. And, in your terms, they fester. They are no different from any type of infection that you may physically generate. They also create a type of infection, and they continue to build in that infection. They are affecting your body consciousness, for they are not being acknowledged, and they are not being recognized, and that WILL be expressed in some manner. You may crash your car. You may hammer your foot. You may become very scattered. You may be short-tempered. You may disconnect and push away. For that infection of those feelings is creating a barrier in your energy, between yourself and other individuals, and will not allow you to connect. There are many different expressions that can occur when you do not acknowledge what you are feeling, or even the existence of your own feelings.
In this, acknowledging them is a release. It allows you to release energy immediately. It is not necessary that you act upon every feeling that you generate, for remember they are signals. Therefore, it is a matter of receiving that message that is behind that signal. And the message may not require you to act. It may merely require an acknowledgement that you received it. You understand. You accept the message that you are offering to yourself. That may be all that is required.
At times, when you receive the message you may be prompted to act, dependent upon what the message is. If it is a message that is connected with empowering yourself, it may be prompting you to either not act when you otherwise would, or it may be prompting you to act when you otherwise would not. For that would be your automatic response: To either react, or to recede and to not address. In this, when you receive the message, you can evaluate: “What am I expressing to myself, and what is the most effective manner for me to empower myself in this moment? In this situation, what is my greatest benefit?”
Now; let me express to you, this is also a very important point. It is ultimately important that YOU are your greatest priority. Understand, you do not occupy this reality alone. You do share this reality with many, many, many, many other individuals. But you are no benefit to any other individual, you are not helpful to any other individual, you are not encouraging or supportive to any other individual if you are not expressing those to yourself first.
All of you, at some point in your lifetimes, have engaged experiences and situations with other individuals in which an individual that you are close to, or that you love, is distressed or is hurting or is unhappy. And what do you feel when that individual is unhappy? You also are unhappy. Or you may be somewhat neutral if you are not allowing yourself to pay attention to your feelings, but you are not happy. You are not excited if that individual is unhappy. The same moves in reverse. When you are uncomfortable, when you are not happy, the individuals around you are not happy either.
Therefore, when you are not paying attention to you, and you are not generating yourself as your highest priority, you are doing a disservice to all the individuals around you. And beyond that, whether you understand it or not, whether you recognize it or not, every moment of every day you are projecting energy, and it is rippling out from you far beyond the individuals that you physically encounter. It is rippling out to your world. This is not an intellectual concept. It is a reality.
Therefore, not only are you not benefitting those around you, if you are not your highest priority, you are not benefitting your world. Which may not be such a concern to some individuals, for some individuals may not be concerned with how they are affecting their world or what is occurring in their world. And that is acceptable, also. It is not required that you pay attention to the world, or that you are incorporating responsibility for the world. But know that you are affecting it, merely by your existence, and all that you do and all that you feel.
I have encountered and engaged conversations with countless individuals that express very genuinely to myself, “I very much am concerned with the state of our world and all of the conflict and the war, and I am so not in agreement with aggression and war and violence.” But those very same individuals will be engaging continuous conflict in their home with the individuals that they love, that they express affection to, and they are fighting with. And I am not expressing that your lives are always wondrous and bliss, or that your interactions are always amiable and pleasant and comfortable. What I am expressing is: The state of your world is a direct reflection of what you yourselves are doing.
In this, I also have been presented countless times with individuals genuinely wanting to be supportive and helpful to other individuals, and the manner in which you do this is by being responsible to you. What does that mean, “being responsible to you”? Being responsible to you is expressing ultimately your freedom. For being responsible to you is allowing yourself to choose, that you are not the victim of other individuals’ choices. You are not the victim of other individuals’ expressions or behaviors or feelings. You choose. They are your choices. That what you do is your choice. That is being responsible to you.
And when you are responsible to yourself, you are, automatically, as a natural byproduct, responsible to every individual around you. You are supportive. You are helpful. You are encouraging to every individual around you, naturally, without even thinking. For that is the energy that you project to other individuals, naturally. You emit it, naturally. For you are incorporating responsibility for you and your choices and, in that, if you are generating beneficial choices to you, you also benefit all around you, in every capacity. You are not intrusive. You are not hurtful. You are not mean. You are not obnoxious. You are expressing your genuine self. You are not judgmental of other individuals. You are merely expressing you which is not a judgment in relation to any other individual, for you are not addressing any other individual. You are only addressing you.
In this, by example you support every other individual that you encounter, and you allow yourselves the freedom to engage whatever direction you choose. And, in this, when you are responsible to yourself, you also open yourself to inspiration, for you are not so busy being concerned with what every other individual is doing. You are paying attention to what you are doing, and you open yourself to that wondrous quality of yourselves of inspiration and creativity that allows you to create whatever you choose, in whatever capacity you choose, even to fly. (Laughs)
There is no impossibility that you cannot attain. It is a wondrous vista that is open to you, merely for the taking. And all that is required of you is to pay attention to you and to grab it, to grab hold of your reality and express, “It is mine, and I can express it however I choose. It is mine;” and to be the possessor of yourself.
The manner in which you begin is to open yourself to half of the information that you are not paying attention to, and that is expressed by paying attention to what you are feeling.
Now; I would pose to you, before we break, the question: What would each of you consider to be your most challenging and your most confusing feelings? What feelings are the most challenging for you, in addressing to them, and what feelings are the most confusing to you?
Now; in contemplating this question, allow yourselves to think of or entertain the ideas of experiences that you have generated that are uncomfortable for you, that you do not easily move into, that are challenging for you to engage. And let me offer a point in this. Not all challenging situations are what you term to be bad. Some situations can be challenging, and they can be expressed in a very amiable or what you term to be nice manner, but it may be uncomfortable for you in some capacity. It is, at times, easy to confront a situation if you are generating a confrontation. It is not always as easy to confront a situation if the situation is being presented in a very nice manner.
Expressions to contemplate. And when we return from our break, we shall engage conversation in relation to the differences in what you feel and what is challenging for you in your feelings. Agreed?
ELIAS: Very well. We shall break and continue shortly.
Elias departs at 1:13 p.m. (after 43 minutes)
Elias arrives at 1:30 p.m. (Arrival time is 15 seconds.)
Now; your turns. And who will begin with the feelings? Very well.
JOHN: I’ll go. All right. I suppose my feelings...So do you want me to describe the feeling, or do you want me to describe the action or event that surrounds the feeling?
ELIAS: The question is, identify the feeling.
JOHN: Frustration and despair.
RODNEY: Repeat your question, please.
JOHN: My question was clarifying Elias’ question, which was identify the feeling. I asked whether he wanted us to identify also the events surrounding the feeling, but that’s apparently not necessary. So the feeling itself is struggle and despair. That would identify it for myself.
ELIAS: Struggle is not a feeling. Despair, yes.
ELIAS: Would you substitute a different feeling for struggle?
JOHN: Is frustration a feeling?
ELIAS: Frustration is a feeling.
Now; now the identification of what creates that feeling. What is the situation?
JOHN: What creates the...
ELIAS: What is the situation?
JOHN: The situation is if I have something that I want to do such as after work and, let’s say, on occasion, I come home after work, and I have an idea of what I want to do, or I’m anticipating an activity that would be fun but, in the moment, I’m drawn away to more sort of the usual sort of activities of feeling a little bit alone. If I’m alone at home, I want to go out, or I want to be a little bit social, which is nice.
At the same time, when I go do the social thing, which may be going to my local pub or local restaurant, meeting friends. That’s nice; but then, at the same time, I’m there, I’m enjoying myself, but I’ve also missed out on what I wanted to do at home. So I never quite wind up doing what I want to do, if that makes sense.
ELIAS: Therefore, there is a conflict between what you want to do, but it seems that you also want to enjoy yourself.
ELIAS: Therefore, the conflict is not necessarily between what you want to do and what you are supposed to do, but rather what is more important in what you want to do and defining what is more important. And when you choose one, you are feeling frustrated, for you are not doing the other. What aspect creates the despair?
JOHN: Something about not honoring my own sense of self or direction completely.
ELIAS: Therefore, in this situation you are presenting to yourself two actions that you actually want to do, but it is a choice between which action is more important to you in that moment. In this, the conflict is arising, for one is more important in the moment, and the other becomes the concept of what you should do. Even if it is fun, if you actually want to be home and be engaging certain activities at home yourself, but you also are drawn to go out and socialize, for you like doing that activity, but it may not be the priority in that moment. It may not be more important in that moment.
But you intellectualize, rather than paying attention to the feeling which is expressing to you that message, identifying which is more important, before you generate the feelings of frustration and despair, before those feelings are occurring. For those feelings are occurring when you generate the choice, but it is not the actual choice that is the most important choice.
You create that feeling of despair or frustration, for you chose to engage the action that you think should be more important. I should be socializing rather than being by myself. Being by myself is perhaps isolating myself. I should be extending myself and, therefore, moving myself in a direction that I want which may be to engage a relationship. I cannot engage a relationship if I am alone at home. But, in that moment, at the point of generating the choice, the decision, at THAT point, there is another feeling. That is the feeling that you have ignored. That is the feeling that you did not pay attention to, that was expressing to you which action was more important to you in that moment.
In this, it is not that you missed an opportunity, for even if you choose the action that is less important and that generates the result that you are frustrated or you are feeling despair, those feelings are offering you information, and what they are doing is offering you the validation message that what you actually wanted was acceptable. That was the direction of honoring you and paying attention to you and, therefore, you are offering yourself information, even in the despair and the frustration. For you are then able to identify those feelings and express the question to yourself. “What is motivating the despair and the frustration? For this was not the priority of actions that I wanted to do. Very well, what motivated me to engage this action, rather than the action that I wanted to engage?” And that offers you information in relation to what you can do.
It also offers you permission to engage what is important to you. It allows you to define what is important to you in a moment. It is not that you should do this action or you should not do that action. It is a matter of defining this action in this moment is important to me. This action in this moment is not as important to me. Therefore, it allows you to discern and generate a greater clarity in relation to what you are choosing. And that empowers you.
TERRI: Hi, Elias. The feeling is an overwhelming sense of tiredness, to the point where I have to lay down and go to sleep. So when I want to, like if I’m very excited about my campground and when I want to sit down and do some work or research on it, I’ll get so overwhelmed with being tired, I have to lay down and go to sleep, which breeds a feeling of frustration that why can’t I stay awake to do this, because it’s something I’m excited about?
ELIAS: Very well. This is an excellent example, also. For, in this, once again, you are presenting to yourself an action that you want to engage and that you are excited about. In this, when you are feeling that overwhelming tiredness, this is an indicator that your body consciousness is stopping you, that your concentration is intense and that your body consciousness is prompting you to engage a break, so to speak.
Now; how you can pay attention to that indicator and also pay attention to what you want, is to re-evaluate. This is what I want to do. I want to engage this action. I want to plan. I will address to that momentarily. But I am extremely fatigued. In this, the message that your body is expressing to you is: “Too much! Too much, too much! Too much output, too much input.” Allow for assimilation.
Also, it is a matter of paying attention to that action that you want to do. Is that action in harmony with or contrary to your desire in what you are doing in your expansion? In this, keyword: planning. In this, you, knowing yourself and your own movement and your own direction, have been addressing to allowing and unfolding. Planning is in opposition to that.
TERRI: Maybe I was confusing it with taking action, like if I was researching different ways of attracting an investor online, that that was taking action.
ELIAS: Yes, I am understanding, and that can be an element of acting upon your direction. I agree. But, in that also, as the body consciousness is expressing fatigue, it is expressing: “Too much! Too much! Stop.” In that, it is a matter of pacing.
Let me express to you, for the most part, this may hold correctly with any of you, in any situation. If you are excited, if you are inspired, it is very easy to forget patience. When you are excited, you think that the manner in which you can continue to maintain that excitement is to continue to engage what is exciting you. You can maintain the feeling of excitement and the experience of excitement without continuing to engage constantly what is exciting you. In this, also remember, “now” feelings do not linger. Therefore, “now” feelings move in the direction that they change. And your body consciousness is not designed to move in the direction of maintaining that feeling constantly. It is exhausting.
TERRI: Well, the nap always wins out. So I just need to acknowledge and appreciate that that’s my way of keeping myself on track to realize what I want in the most direct manner. I always take the nap.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well. I would express that this is an excellent example, but it is an example of being patient, remembering patience, remembering balance and acknowledging that, in this, your body consciousness is expressing to you: “Enough! Incorporate a break.” You can always return to your excitement, but allow yourself that balance. When you balance, it is likely that you will not be expressing that overwhelming fatigue.
ELIAS: You are welcome.
AARON: Aaron. Okay. Well, it was really easy for me to identify my feeling, because the second you posed the exercise, and I had a sense that I had to expose myself, I got the sense of that pressure right in my solar plexus. So I knew right away what that was, and that’s the feeling of, I guess, exposure.
ELIAS: Now; identify the feeling. Exposure is an explanation of the feeling. It is a “why?” for the feeling, but it is not the feeling.
AARON: Okay, vulnerability, then.
ELIAS: No. That is another explanation for a feeling. What is the feeling? Anxiety? Defense? Fear? Agitation?
AARON: Fear and anxiety, I guess.
ELIAS: Those are...
AARON: It was definite fear. I would say fear was pretty big.
ELIAS: Very well. Those are feelings.
AARON: Actually, I’m not feeling it now, though. (Group laughs)
ELIAS: (Laughs) Now; you expressed that you generated this feeling immediately when I expressed what the subject would be.
ELIAS: Now; what motivates that feeling? You identified exposure. What does that mean? What is the threat? What is the fear?
AARON: I guess it was...I tend to get tongue-tied when I, when I’m in a group. Yeah, I’m getting tongue-tied, see? (Group laughs)
ELIAS: A fear of not expressing yourself articulately...
AARON: Right. Okay, yes. Right.
ELIAS: ...or adequately and, therefore, what is that? That is discounting yourself, devaluing yourself, that you are not adequate enough to compete with the other individuals in the room.
AARON: That’s a good way of putting it, yes.
ELIAS: Now; in this, you can evaluate that feeling and the information from that feeling, the message: “I am less than or less able than other individuals and that places me in a position of an inability to compete with the other individuals in the room.” When you can evaluate that, you can generate a choice: “Very well, this is the identification. How do I choose to proceed with that information to empower myself? What is my greatest benefit in this?”
From that, you can evaluate. Perhaps, what is your greatest benefit is to allow yourself to pause, to listen and pause and formulate how you want to participate, rather than merely expressing. This is an automatic action, and I would express it is very common. Most individuals do this when they are engaging other individuals individually, collectively, in conversation, participating in any capacity. You automatically jump with a response. You must have a response. You do not always have a response immediately.
It is a matter of allowing yourself that comfort that is natural to you, to evaluate, to listen, to process. This occurs very quickly. A pause is not five minutes. A pause may be ten seconds. For you incorporate the ability to process very quickly. In that, it is a matter of merely allowing yourself to recognize: “I am uncomfortable. I am feeling fearful or agitated.” Very well, pause, breathe, relax. “What is my greatest benefit?” First is to relax, rather than to exacerbate the situation, relax, pause: “What is being presented? How do I want to respond? Or do I want to respond?” For you are not required to respond.
Therefore, it is a matter of evaluating: “This is the feeling. This is what it means. This is what I am expressing to myself. What are my choices in this moment that are my greatest benefit?”
AARON: It seems to me that I need to push myself a little bit, because my tendency would be to leave or just...
ELIAS: I would disagree. It is not a matter of pushing yourself. Perhaps it is merely a matter of reevaluating and choosing a slightly different method initially that can comfortably ease you into a situation, such as: “Rather than fleeing, but not quite engaging, I choose merely to stand. I choose merely to be present and listen. But it is not required of me to push and engage. I can listen. I can be present. I can stand, and I am not fleeing, but I am also not pushing or forcing myself into what is uncomfortable.”
AARON: I think I get that.
ELIAS: Very well.
ANN: It’s Ann. Actually, I’ll just kind of want to parlay off of what you had, because mine was the same as yours.
AARON: Are you serious?
ANN: Not maybe identical, but similar enough that I kind of took the process from yours. Like as soon as you said, “It’s a choice,” I was thinking, because I was anxious about having to come up with something and say something, and like my chest is beating fast now, so I must be a little nervous about speaking, but...
ELIAS: Stop! (Group laughs)
ELIAS: What you are feeling now?
ANN: A pause. I’m feeling a little bit of relief, like I just got done running a race, and relaxed, a little more relaxed right now.
ELIAS: But you were feeling nervous.
ANN: I was. I was feeling nervous.
ELIAS: And what is motivating that?
ANN: That I won’t be able to express correctly what I wanted to express. I was wanting to express something and I didn’t know if I would be able to get my message across the way I wanted to.
ELIAS: This is very common. Listen to this, for this is a very common expression with most individuals, that apprehension or fear that they will not be understood or that they will not express themselves adequately and, therefore, other individuals will not receive what they are expressing in the manner that they intended. This is a very common expression which also prompts individuals to restate themselves over and over. They generate a statement, and they change it. They change the wording. They change the emphasis. For they do not believe that you are hearing them.
This is an expression that is not only very common, but it is expressed in relation to a fear of not being witnessed. The action of witnessing is the action of paying attention, acknowledging an individual’s existence and their importance. And this is a very common fear, that when you express yourself, you will not be witnessed. You translate it to: “I will not be understood properly.” But in actuality, it is that you will not be seen, you will not be heard and you will not be valued as important, that what is important to you will not be important to other individuals.
It matters not whether other individuals share what is important to you. If they witness you, you are important. Therefore, whatever you are expressing is acknowledged, whether it is important to the other individual or not. And that is very common expression, which also does create this feeling of nervousness when you think you are required to express.
I would express to you all, this begins very, very early in your experiences. Most of you will experience this as very small ones, where you are questioning your importance. For you observe, as small ones, other individuals around you, and you observe adults around you that seem to not place importance upon you. You are less important, for you are small. And in that, you begin to learn very young to question your importance, and that creates difficulty, anxiety, nervousness, in relation to expressing yourself. It does not feel safe.
Safety is a feeling. Whether you are feeling unsafe or whether you are feeling safe, safety is not a state of being. It is a feeling. And many of you, if not most of you, learn to not feel safe if you are expressing yourselves.
I will express to you all, in this present moment, with myself and with all of this company present, you are safe. You can feel safe to share yourselves, for every other individual in this company understands what you feel, for they have felt it also. And every individual in this company is witnessing each of you. Therefore, you can be safe. And even if none of you were witnessing each other, which you are, I am witnessing all of you. And that is enough.
ANN: Thank you, Elias.
BILL: Elias, first I want to thank you for that safe thing.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
BILL: That was huge for me, because I was thinking all along that the emotions that I generally feel are more fear, in terms of speaking up. But when you said, “safety,” my eyes opened, and I said, “My God, that’s exactly what was going on.” And coupled to that so intimately is the aspect of being witnessed, whether the person I speak to is agreeing or not agreeing. I express myself not to have them agree; I’m just sharing information. But the fear—this goes on, primarily, in a very close relationship I have with my partner in terms of speaking my mind—simply for speaking my mind which I tend not to do as often as I would like, and it’s a safety issue. Goddamn! That’s like, thanks, man!
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
BILL: That was really cool. I just had to get that out there. That’s really good.
ELIAS: And in relation to that, when you feel unsafe and, therefore, you do not share although you would like to be sharing, you stop yourself, and you restrict yourself from sharing for you feel unsafe; what is that expressing to you? What is the threat?
BILL: The threat, I guess, is that I won’t be accepted for who I am, the way I think, and the way I feel.
ELIAS: That you are not important enough.
BILL: Yeah. Yeah.
ELIAS: Now; in relation to that, how could you express yourself being important, not dependent upon whether the other individual acknowledges that importance?
BILL: How do I go about getting it out without the concern of the acknowledgement? Is that what you’re saying?
ELIAS: How can you express that importance within yourself and know it, and not require that acknowledgement of that importance from an outside source?
BILL: I don’t know.
ELIAS: Thank you. (Group laughs) This is an action that is, in one capacity, very natural for all of you. You exist in a physical reality that expresses, as an aspect of its blueprint, separation. You occupy separate bodies. In this, as you incorporate these aspects of separation, you naturally look to outside sources for connection, and how you look for connection is through validation and acknowledgement. Therefore, this becomes a very large and very important expression for each of you.
This is the reason that, even if you express that it matters not if other individuals agree with you, you do want them to agree with you. (Group laughs) For when individuals agree with you, they are acknowledging you. Individuals can be acknowledging you when they do not agree with you, but it is a matter of the manner in which they disagree with you. If they are acknowledging your importance, but are disagreeing with you, that is a validation. They are witnessing you. You feel connected and you recognize that.
The reason that you prefer to be agreed with is that that is an obvious connection and it is obvious that the other individual is acknowledging and validating of you. Therefore, you are important. And it is obviously expressed. In this, when you are engaging another individual that is not witnessing you—and not all individuals will be witnessing you—you do not witness every individual that you encounter, nor do they all witness you.
ANN: What is the distinction? What does that mean then?
ELIAS: Witnessing is acknowledging your existence and your importance.
ANN: Okay. Got it.
ELIAS: Not all individuals will do that. You many encounter many individuals in which you are not important to them, and they may not even acknowledge your existence. To some individuals, you are merely another person. Does that acknowledge your existence? No. You are a drop in a sea. It all blends together and they are not acknowledging your existence. Some individuals do acknowledge it.
But in many situations, especially in partnerships that have been in existence for a considerable time framework—years and years and years—individuals forget to witness each other in that partnership, and they stop. And, in that, one may be continuing to witness the other and one may not, or both may not.
In those types of situations, it is the question of how do I validate my importance without relying on that outside source to do it? In this, how you do it is you turn it, in the manner that YOU want to be validated, and you express it outward. If you prevent yourself from expressing yourself, for you are afraid that it is not safe, you will not be witnessed, you will not be important, how you turn that is you choose some expression to obviously witness the other individual, which most likely will be surprising to them.
When you witness the other individual, when you acknowledge—whether it is important to you or not—when you acknowledge their importance and their existence, without expressing it verbally you are telling them, you are reminding them: “This is what we do. We witness each other. We value each other, for this is how we connect with each other, and when we do not connect, we feel alone, and that is also not safe.”
Therefore, you turn your unsafe to expose their unsafe. And in exposing their unsafe, you witness them; you value them, which values you. And, in that, it turns the situation. It moves to your greatest benefit. That is the key, always: “What is to my greatest benefit? How do I express what are my choices to express me? What is preventing me from expressing me? What is the feeling that is signaling me that I am being prevented? And how do I move forward in that direction, to value myself, to be witnessed, and to be that example to pay attention?” You turn your unsafe into a spotlight.
It is very similar to a very obvious scenario. If you are standing in a clearing in the jungle and a lion is approaching you, and it is eyeing you (Mary’s dog, Polly, begins to bark and the group laughs), contemplating eating you, if you turn the spotlight of your unsafe, that spotlight onto the lion, it is likely the lion will run away. And it will not eat you. Therefore, it is metaphorically the same. Use your unsafe to become a spotlight, a beacon. That will create being safe.
BILL: That was awesome. (Elias laughs) That was worth the trip up here. Thanks.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
MARK: Hi, Elias! My name’s Mark. I recently had an experience where I denied expressions of another individual, expressions of my feelings towards them. I noticed that when I...(inaudible)
Now; what are you feeling? For you are receding. You are lowering your vocal tone softer and softer, in which you are not allowing all the other individuals to participate with you. You are pulling back to yourself. What are you feeling?
MARK: (Inaudible)...I feel my heart beating...(Group laughs)
ELIAS: Very well! This is what we were discussing.
MARK: I am feeling massive energy upon my shoulders.
ELIAS: This is what we were discussing. If you cannot identify an emotional feeling immediately, look to your body consciousness. It will be expressing feelings that you can translate. Your heart is beating. You are paying attention to that. The reason you are paying attention to that is that you are uncomfortable.
MARK: I didn’t identify that until just now.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but you are now.
MARK: Oh, yeah! (Group laughs)
ELIAS: The feeling over your shoulders is a heaviness in energy, oppressing, and also that energy that is creating that receding. Your vocal tones began quite projected. Immediately, that changed, in which your vocal tones became very subdued, very soft. You were no longer projecting and the individuals that are not immediately surrounding you will be excluded from what you are expressing.
Now; shall we attempt again? And project!
MARK: Sure. My question is, in not expressing myself, is that what you identified earlier as a potential infection? Meaning, that that’s not...I sense that, to me, it’s I’m not allowing myself to express, and interpret it as a discomfort in my body consciousness.
MARK: And once I made a decision and I felt safe, and when I hadn’t expressed myself, I noticed, in that expression, that I had held all that energy, and then it came out during my expression in tears. I can’t identify what that feeling is with the tears, other than it was held energy, and if I continue to hold it and not express it, it would not be beneficial to me.
ELIAS: Correct. I agree.
Now; what the feeling is, is anxiety. That is the identification of the feeling, the emotional feeling. It is expressed in the body consciousness precisely how you described it. And, in this, this is also an excellent example, for this occurs much more frequently than many of you realize—that you are actually feeling. There is a feeling that is occurring, and you do not objectively know what it is. You cannot necessarily define it. But you can pay attention to your body consciousness, and from that you can begin to ascertain what the emotional feeling is that is accompanying the body consciousness feeling, the physical feeling.
Anxiety generates many different physical forms, and it is a very common feeling that is being expressed in many different situations with individuals. It is a hesitation of yourself. There is not precisely a fear, but more so a question. It is a hesitation. It is a skepticism of whether it is acceptable to express or not, and that creates a holding of energy which creates anxiety.
And yes, I would express to you that you are correct. That is precisely what I was discussing previously in relation to infection. That when you are not acknowledging, when you are not expressing your feelings, when you hold them and you override them, or you ignore them, and you do not acknowledge them, that is what you create. You create, metaphorically, an emotional infection within your body consciousness. And, in that, it may or may not develop into an actual physical affectingness. But even if it does not move into a physical manifestation, which it very well can, it unbalances you. It definitely, without question, prevents you from being centered.
You cannot be centered and be overriding or ignoring feelings. You cannot do both. Therefore, it definitely prevents you from being centered. And I would express to you, you can meditate every minute of the day and you will not be centered if you are not acknowledging those feelings, if you are not paying attention to them, for they will be expressed. Energy is always expressed, in some form or another. It cannot be contained. You can hold it, but it will be expressed in some manner.
In this, when you generate this action, it does create that emotional infection, and that creates another feeling of discomfort. You feel uncomfortable, and you do not like it. I would express that most individuals feel agitated and feel uncomfortable being themself. “It is not comfortable to be me. It is not comfortable to be me, for I cannot express in this manner and release this energy.”
Now; there is a difference between energy being expressed and energy being released. It will be expressed. That is not to say that you allow it to be released. And that is a natural function, to release energy. You are not designed with this body consciousness to continuously hold energy. This is the reason that it generates damage, for you are not designed to do that. You are designed to release energy. This is the reason that you laugh. This is the reason that you cry. This is the reason that you move physically. This is the reason that you become restless, at times, and you want to move your physical body. This is the reason that you vomit which is an action of releasing energy. Your body is equipped to release energy in many different capacities. When you will not do it willingly and voluntarily, your body will do it for you in very uncomfortable manners.
In this, weeping is a very common expression of releasing energy. Individuals do it when they are nervous. They do it when they are happy. They do it when they are sad. They do it when they are anxious. They do it when they are afraid. You weep in any type of emotional signal, for it is an allowance to release energy. Laughing would be a definite second to weeping. Individuals laugh when they are nervous, when they are upset, when they are threatened, when they are uncomfortable, when they are happy, when they are excited, but laughing is not always an action that individuals engage in relation to humor. It is a release of energy.
MARK: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are welcome.
PATRICIA: I want to piggyback off that one. So I really appreciate him asking that because I can definitely relate, and I do the same thing. But I think that I have a fear of emotions to a degree, in that I was probably raised by somebody who was taught not to express their emotions.
ELIAS: And, therefore, you evaluate that they are not safe. They are unacceptable or, perhaps, they are acceptable in moderation, but not acceptable in the capacity that you may actually feel them.
This is another very common expression, that feelings can be expressed too much. No, they cannot. But you incorporate the idea that there can be too much feelings, too much expression, and that too much is not normal. And, therefore, that is wrong, or it is bad. And, in that, the individual that is feeling, perhaps in what the norm expresses is too much, feels different.
And when you feel different, you feel unacceptable. For what is acceptable is to be the same. Intellectually, you all want to be individual and different, to an extent, but feelings you want to be the same. And the reason you want to be the same is that it is safe and that it validates. It feels safe. There is no challenge in being the same, but none of you actually are the same. And in this, there is no expression of too much feeling. All feeling is acceptable and natural. Intensity of feeling is gauged by each individual, and their sensitivity, and what they are paying attention to, and how much they pay attention to their feelings.
Now; I will express that, in some situations, some individuals can express an exaggeration of feelings. Those are not genuine feelings. Some individuals exaggerate the expression of feelings, not that they are actually feeling it, but they exaggerate the expression of a feeling to either acquire specific types of attention or when they feel threatened it can be an expression of defense to push away other individuals, for most individuals are not comfortable if an individual is expressing feelings too intensely.
FEMALE PARTICIPANT: How about control? That the individual that is over-expressing, could it be...
ELIAS: Yes, it very much can be an expression of control. Yes, most definitely. But in this, there is a point in relation to intensity of feelings, in genuine feelings, that as you all, collectively, from very young ages, are, in some capacity, taught that feelings are to be expressed in moderation and in varying degrees, some moderation allows for more; some moderation allows for almost none. But, in that, you are all taught that feelings are acceptable in moderation. Therefore, most of you become uncomfortable if you present yourself with an individual that is expressing feelings not in moderation.
This is an important point, also, in relation to differences. Some individuals do not quite learn that expression that they are taught, that feelings should be expressed in moderation, and some individuals allow themselves to express them anyway. And they may express them in intensity, and it may be genuine. And when you are uncomfortable when you are in the presence of an individual that expresses an intensity of genuine feelings, this is an interesting situation to question within yourselves. Why are you uncomfortable that the other individual is expressing an intensity in their feelings? Why does that create an uncomfortableness? What are you threatened with? That you will not allow yourselves to express in that manner? Or that you cannot express in that manner? Or that it is so unfamiliar to you that you become uncomfortable with the unfamiliarity? And you automatically push away.
This is a time framework in which we are acknowledging expansion. And in that expansion, it includes more of an expression of feelings, more allowance of feelings, and creating that feeling of safety with feelings. In this, it is a matter of acknowledging yourselves in what you feel as your own communications, acknowledging that and recognizing that the more you acknowledge yourself, the more you offer permission, not only to yourself, but to every other individual; that it is acceptable that they feel, and that the intensity of what they feel is irrelevant. It matters not. It can be whatever it genuinely is, in a small expression or in an extreme. It matters not. It is safe. It will not hurt you. It will only benefit you. Even those feelings that are uncomfortable benefit you, for they contain information that allow you to expand.
ROBERTO: The feeling is annoyance.
ELIAS: Annoyance! That is a feeling.
ROBERTO: The confusing situation I’m going to present is being with my partner, and they are sneezing. For whatever reason, sometimes I just can get annoyed. So that’s a very confusing situation.
ELIAS: Annoyance is an interesting feeling. When you are annoyed, what you are expressing is one: a judgment. Annoyance is your indicating feeling, your signal: you are generating a judgment. And, generally speaking, that judgment is involving the expression that you want whatever the outside source that is occurring to be like you. That is what creates annoyance—is that you are judging a situation, an action, an individual and a behavior, or an expression; it matters not. You are judging that in the capacity that you do not want it to continue in the manner that it is. You want it to be like you, or how YOU would express it. That is what creates annoyance.
Now; this is interesting, for when you evaluate that, when you understand: “Ah, I want this to be like me. I want this to be expressed in the manner I would express it.” It matters not what the action is. It can be an expression. It can be sneezing. It can be coughing. It can be sighing. It could be blinking. It matters not what it is. Another individual can be breathing, and you can be annoyed. (Group laughs)
And, in that, that is valuable information to you. Why do you want the other individual, why do you want that expression to be the same as you? The reason is control. For if it is the way you would express it, you control it. If it is not, you cannot control it. You cannot express how it should be. If another individual is sneezing, you cannot control what they are doing, and it becomes annoying, for you want them to do what YOU want them to do. And in many situations, what you want them to do is to stop.
In this, it is not about the other individual stopping what they are doing. It is about that you cannot control what the other individual is doing, in any particular moment, and that becomes annoying. (Laughs)
ROBERTO: Roberto. In that situation, can you make suggestions? Because I find myself, every morning, driving to work, and I like to drive fairly quickly, and people get in front of me, and they’re going slowly. And I just feel I’m getting more and more annoyed. Do you have any suggestions about that?
Now; I can offer suggestions, but before I engage that, let me engage this particular subject first, for many individuals experience very similarly in relation to driving and vehicles. There is actually a commonality and a reason.
When you are engaging your vehicle, you are in control of your environment. It is YOUR environment. It is enclosed. It is your space arrangement, and you control it, and you can express any manner you choose. This is an association that individuals very commonly generate. This is their own personal environment in which they are allowed to express in any manner that they choose.
The reason I am offering this explanation is that, in many situations, this is a natural release of energy. It is not bad. That becoming annoyed and expressing that irritation or that agitation in relation to all of the other drivers on your road is actually safe. It is a safe expression of yourself, in your enclosed environment, in which you perceive you are not, and you cannot, harm any other individual, but you can express as vehemently as you choose. (Group laughs) And it will not actually affect any other individual upon the road. And it allows you to release energy. There are individuals that experience this daily, for they are not, necessarily, allowing themselves to release energy in other manners. And, therefore, they use that time and that environment to release that energy, and it is a natural action.
Now; that being said, I can also express to you that when you are generating that feeling of annoyance, it is a matter of control. Therefore, it is a matter of understanding your expression of control. What do you want to control, or what are you not controlling, or what do you perceive that is beyond your control? For that is the issue, not what is being expressed. That is merely an outlet.
In this, it is also a matter of paying attention to the type of annoyance, such as the driving: “I feel annoyed when I am driving. I am annoyed with all the other drivers on the road.” What are you doing in that situation? When you understand that that is actually a release of energy, you can begin to evaluate: “When am I not allowing myself to release energy naturally? And, therefore, it is accumulating, and I am expressing it in a concentrated manner in the same environment repeatedly. I use that for my outlet.”
ROBERTO: So annoyance is something good that comes out. There it is.
ELIAS: Yes. In this, it is a matter of paying attention to when you are allowing yourself to naturally release energy and when you are not. I would express that there are many situations within each day that individuals do not allow themselves to express themselves or to release energy. Another individual expresses in some fashion to you that annoys you, and you ignore it. I am not expressing that it is necessary that you confront it. But it is necessary to acknowledge it and to pay attention to what you are feeling and to evaluate: “How can I release this energy in a different manner, in a manner that is to my greatest benefit?”
Or you are generating some action with an inanimate object. It may not even be another individual. It could be your vehicle itself, and which you want to kick the door. And which you are expressing: “You are not functioning in the manner that I want.” And you are annoyed. Or your coffee maker or your computer. (Group laughs) They may not be functioning in the manner that you want them to function, in a particular time framework, and you become annoyed.
And in this, what are you not expressing? What are you not allowing yourself to release? When you do not release energy, you do affect your computer. You do affect your inanimate objects. And they malfunction. For your energy is expressing in force. It is being forced. And that affects everything around you, not only yourself and your own body consciousness, but it affects objects around you. It affects airwaves around you.
In this, it is very similar, but less obvious, than the situation in which there is a mother and child. And the mother is very agitated and distressed and is speaking in very aggravated tones, and the child cries and cries and cries. And the mother becomes more and more and more agitated, for the child is crying and crying and crying. And they feed each other. The child is crying for it is responding to the energy that is distressing. The child does not, necessarily, objectively understand or know what is distressing. It only identifies this is oppressive and distressing energy: “I do not like it!” And it cries. And the mother becomes more agitated, for the sound of the crying irritates them more and more and more.
The child can be likened to your environment. It matters not what is in your environment. If it incorporates any mechanical workings, it can malfunction, and you can generate it malfunctioning, merely by your energy. And when you do not allow yourself to naturally release energy, and balance, and center, you hold it, and what occurs is: visualize, each of you, your own energy fields. Each of you incorporates an energy field, which is flowing and moving, and it is transparent. It is very similar to the air. When you do not release energy, your energy field becomes very similar to rock. It continues to move around you, but it becomes more and more heavy and solid, and it bumps into other manifestations in your world. It bumps into your vehicle or your computer or your coffeemaker or whatever is in your environment. And when it bumps into them, it affects them. It can even break them.
RODNEY: I have a question.
RODNEY: This is Rodney. This is kind of a little bit different. I grew up in an environment where if the child was confrontational with the parent, the fear of God, death, annihilation, whatever, would be heaped on us. So people in my family grew up not really confronting people. Well, I’ve had to overcome this obstacle, and I’ve kind of made progress on it.
But what happened last week, and this comes up when I feel I’ve been cheated. I’ve purchased three or four objects on the Internet; never received them. The only way to resolve the issue is sometimes to declare fraud, which is a real pain in the neck. You get a new credit card. You bought something for $20, and it’s not worth the process.
I bought a program for $280, and it’s an astrology program, so I can generate reports. Well, I get it and, yes, I can generate a report. They’re about 30, 35 pages long, on the screen, or I can print it. I cannot attach it to an e-mail and send it to a friend of mine. I went back and I read their—and I really like this program—and it was adequately advertised with the exception of that generating reports thing. They didn’t say it was this limited. I was very upset, and I stewed over it for a weekend.
And they called me back at a very inopportune moment. I was pulling out of the gas station, and I stopped and took the call. And I was mindful not to be reactionary. And I was really trying to discover for myself what course of action I was going to choose. Was I going to demand my money back? Was I going to go to the credit card company and say that these people cheated me?
And what I did is, I actually expressed how I felt about what was happening. And I said, “You know, I like the program.” I said, “But when you said generate a report, you didn’t say only on a monitor or only printed copy. And I don’t know whether I want to send the program back to you or call my credit card company. I don’t know what to do. I feel cheated.”
And the person on the other end of the phone, a young woman I would guess, said, “Well, people generate reports in volume and they can sell these. And what we’re saying, we give you a commercial license.” Of course, the price was $180, a lot of money just to print something. And I said, “I’m 80 years old! I’m only going to give them to a few people.” I said, “And charging me $180 to do that, I think it’s really out-of-line.” She actually said, “I could give it to you for half-price.” And because I really, and now that I think back at it, I really wasn’t attacking them. I was really more stating how I felt about the situation.
RODNEY: And I said, “Really?” I said, “Like how much? Did you really mean it?” because she was talking at the same time. And she said, “Well,” she says, “what I’ll do is I’ll give it to you.” I had to make sure the car was in park, that I didn’t pull out into the street. She literally gave me a program that they normally charge $180 for. It’s a pretty professional program.
And I wanted to mention that to you because I’m really not sure. I’ve been going back and trying to revisit the scenario to see what was really happening there, because it was unusual, very unusual for me. Could you?
ELIAS: But you were being genuine. Rather than accusing, rather than blaming, which would be an automatic...
RODNEY: Right. Yes.
ELIAS: ...Rather than moving in that direction, you were being genuine and expressing your disappointment.
RODNEY: And that’s it? And it produced that result?
ELIAS: It is, in actuality, very simple. Very simple! In this, all that I have expressed to you this day is that simple. Being genuine produces what you want and moves you in the direction of your greatest benefit in whatever you do and whatever you choose.
RODNEY: I am totally, totally, totally astonished at this event.
RODNEY: Why, thank you. (Elias laughs)
TERRI: But Elias, I thought you said that if you’re expressing disappointment, you’re being discounting and opposing of the other individual because you’re saying that they’re doing to you.
ELIAS: Not necessarily, for he was not generating blame. In many situations that can be the case, but disappointment can also be expressed in situations that you incorporated a direction or an idea, and that did not necessarily unfold in the manner that you anticipated or that is what you wanted. And, in that, you can feel disappointment. When that moves into a challenging direction is when that disappointment involves blame.
TERRI: So, but you can’t say that you’re disappointed in somebody else.
TERRI: You can only be disappointed in the way the event or whatever turned out.
ELIAS: Yes. Which was the situation. You were not expressing disappointment in the individual, but in the situation, in the product, and how the product was expressed, but not in the expression of the individual.
RODNEY: I expressed that I felt that the marketing left something to be desired. I did not accuse them of being misleading, purposely misleading.
ELIAS: Correct. This is the point. It is not an expression of blame, which is different. When you are expressing blame, that changes the energy entirely, for that is not being responsible for you. That is placing the responsibility on an outside source, and that is a very different energy, and that is not beneficial. For this is a matter of paying attention to what you wanted to do, what you wanted to express. You did stop and evaluate, and you were intentionally moving in a direction to not be blaming, but also to be expressing yourself.
In this, that is, as I expressed, a very different type of energy, for it is not pushing the responsibility, your own responsibility of self, onto an outside source and holding an outside source responsible for your reality. That would be the difference.
PAT: I just have a quick question. This is Pat. When we experience problems with our equipment and percolators and stuff like that, is it always from our own energy that’s causing that? Or could it be other people’s energy around us?
ELIAS: It can be. But you drew it to yourself, therefore, you are a participant. It is not a matter of if it is occurring in your reality that it would be other individuals’ energy alone. No. For you are a participant.
TERRI: Unless it’s Patel. (Group laughs with Elias)
RODNEY: Say, “I am Terri.”
TERRI: I am Terri.
BILL: And I approve of this message.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Yes? Yes?
LORRAINE: This is kind of...well, my problem is kind of related to the irritation one. It’s anger. And I understand that they’re related, and just as you said, it has to do with control. It has to do with you wanting them to be agreeing with you.
ELIAS: Ah, but anger is different.
LORRAINE: Well, I get my buttons pushed by my husband all the time, and it is a really yelling match, and it’s really very aggravating and very irritating and very all of those things. And it really boils down to right and judgment, and who’s right and who’s wrong and controlling what the other person, at least for me, is saying, and that I don’t want it to be that way. I want it to be my way. And so my question is actually, at the root of that, is: What do I do? What exactly do I have to do? To change me, to change that whole scenario, because it’s been going on for a long time, and I have to end it soon. It has to stop. How do I do that?
ELIAS: Why is it so important for you to be right?
LORRAINE: I don’t know. (Group laughs)
ELIAS: What do you gain by being right?
LORRAINE: What do I gain by being right?
SANDRA: Would you rather be happy or right?
LORRAINE: Well, I want to be both. I don’t know. I really don’t. What do I gain from being right? I know I get a lot of grief from wanting to be right. I understand that. Yes, I do. I get that. But what happens...
ELIAS: But you continue to move in that direction and push.
LORRAINE: It’s definitely automatic. Yes, it’s automatic and what’s been happening, the only good thing that’s been happening is that I do it, but then within a short period of time, a much shorter period than it used to be, I realize it and then I go back and I apologize. But that’s not really good because I’m still killing this other person.
ELIAS: What would be the detriment if you were not right? Or if he was right?
LORRAINE: What would be the detriment? I would feel invalid. I don’t know. I would feel...what? Wrong. I would feel that I was really wrong. I don’t know.
ELIAS: Why can you not both be right?
LORRAINE: Well, that’s another thing. I always say that. I do say that all the time, that everybody has a right to their opinion and it doesn’t matter. His truth is his truth. I’ve got all that down. My truth is my truth. (Group laughs) My truth and his truth can be two different things.
ELIAS: That is all intellectual. (Group laughs) That is not addressing to feelings at all. That is all intellectual and, in that, it is very easy to express: “Your truth is your truth. My truth is my truth,” and think that it is the same as expressing: “You can be right, and I can be right.” And it is not the same. For you can express that you can offer that concession to other individuals that their truth is their truth. That does not mean that they are right. You continue to hold to YOUR rightness.
Now; in this, I would express that how do you change that? You begin genuinely examining those feelings. What is the threat? Why is it important that you be right? Why is it important that you convince and that you must fight to convince? And, in that, that you must agitate. Are you not enough merely being you? Without proving?
Let me express to you, my friend, “enough” is a very large word, especially in the capacity of being able to express genuinely to yourself: “I am enough,” with no other expression—no justification, no reason, no explanation, no convincing, no proving. Merely, “I am enough.”
And experiment; experiment with not arguing intentionally. Not ignoring, not overriding, but merely engaging the action of not arguing intentionally and paying attention to what you feel when you do not engage. Allow yourself to begin to evaluate what those feelings are and what they mean to you. That may be an excellent manner in which you can begin to practice: “What do I feel when I am not engaged? I will not engage.” For you are generating the choices. Therefore, the other individual cannot force you to engage, can he?
LORRAINE: And I have said to myself that I won’t.
ELIAS: But you do.
LORRAINE: It’s very automatic.
ELIAS: But, in this, it is an exercise to be aware not only of the automatic responses, but to choose differently and to evaluate. It offers you an occupation while you are not responding. It is not merely an action that you are not responding, but that you are paying attention to a different expression when you are not responding. You are no longer paying attention to him. You are paying attention to what you are feeling and evaluating that.
BILL: What though when your partner seeks their own validation? This is Bill. My partner will say, “Right?” and I’m saying, “Well, not really,” but I’ll say, “Yeah,” just because I don’t really want to get into the argument. So I just say, “Sure.”
ELIAS: What prevents you from expressing, when she says “Right?” what prevents you from expressing, “It matters not”?
BILL: (Inaudible) (Group laughs) It would be a lot easier for me to just say...(Inaudible)
ELIAS: Or “I do not care.”
BILL: I lose my own position though, by doing that, it seems.
ELIAS: No. You are being genuine and, in that, you are not required to continue to engage. It is your choice to stand and continue to engage. You can walk away. No one is nailing your feet to the floor.
BILL: Uh-huh! It sure seems that way.
ELIAS: Ah! Because YOU are nailing your feet to the floor. For you are expressing that overwhelming obligation: “I must stand. I must remain.” No, you must not. And you can be genuine, and if you continue to be genuine, it is very likely that she will discontinue expressing, “Right?” She will not seek the validation if you do not offer it.
BILL: Well, there’s also that part of me that thinks she’s not right...
BILL: ...that’s true too.
ELIAS: I am understanding and, in that, you do not want to engage. And, therefore, you choose to avoid. But you can not engage and be genuine, both.
One more question. Yes?
KATHLEEN: Hi, this is Kathleen. It’s awesome to be here, Elias, and thank you so much for being with us. I had an interesting thing happen. Two days after we had an actual, physical earthquake, I had an emotional one. And it was a really, really amazing experience. And I’m one of those fortunate people that expresses in excessive emotion, emotionally-based, intermediate—it’s a curse, I swear—but it’s really rather fun, too, and exciting. But my earthquake, my personal earthquake, involved releasing like a 7-year withholding and enforcing of energy that was happening simultaneously and, today, has enabled me to understand a little more clearly how it is that...
KATHLEEN: ...you can be doing both at the same time. And you can allow and not oppose, and be releasing massive amounts of stored up energy...
KATHLEEN: ...that you’ve held, internalizing so painfully for so long that I really thought I would die from it. I thought I would commit suicide because I could not stand how much energy I was holding inside. And that earthquake was a sort of like, “Cool!” an actual one, a real one, 4.7. And I decided, without intellectually thinking of it, that it was time for me to have an earthquake, and it was much larger than the one we had physically. (Elias laughs) And what a wonderful release! You know, it was...I hear so much about pain and difficulty communicating and validating and things like that, and it was so validating for myself to do that myself and to not have to hear it or be instructed by someone else on how to climb out of that...
KATHLEEN: ...that I had gotten myself into for so long. And it just so happened synchronistically that, a couple of nights before, I was at a session online of a gentleman by the name of Alexander who comes through and is discussing a lot of similar subjects about consciousness. And he said something about an earthquake. “Sometimes you need an earthquake,” he said. And I really never made that connection. Two or three days, well, it was yesterday that it actually happened, because I got the vehicle, I got to go see this person I hadn’t seen in a couple of years, and it was because of being able to come here that it all just fell into place so perfectly that the whole ride here I was like levitating off the ground. It was amazing. I was like so “ZZZZZ” you know, with just the glee of having released so completely.
KATHLEEN: Almost as good as orgasm, if not better. (Group laughs) It’s more permanent; orgasm is temporary.
ELIAS: I express congratulations. (Laughs)
KATHLEEN: Thank you very much.
ELIAS: To you all, a tremendous expression of encouragement with your feelings and defining them and feeling them and understanding them.
TERRI: Are you not going to tell us what the next wave’s going to be?
ELIAS: You have not entered.
TERRI: Give us a hint!
ELIAS: I expressed you are winding down with this wave, but I did not express that you have entered the next wave. (Laughs)
ANN: Has it been decided? Have we decided what it is?
KEN: Is it going to be the decadence wave? (Group laughs)
ELIAS: (Laughs) Perhaps.
KEN: I’m up for that.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) In tremendous affection, great encouragement, great supportiveness to each of you and all of you, as you move forward in this tremendously charged year of yours, in creating your dreams, I express to you, with great lovingness to you all, until our next meeting, au revoir.
GROUP: Au revoir. Thank you.
(Elias departs after 1 hour, 51 minutes.)
Copyright 2012 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.