Session 1167
Translations: DE ES PT

Exercise: What Is Your Most Familiar Automatic Response?


“Exercise: What Is Your Most Familiar Automatic Response?”
“What You Are DOING”

Saturday, October 26, 2002 (Group/Fresno)

Participants: Mary (Michael), Anet, Arthur, Bobbi (Jale), Cathy (Shynla), Dale, Daryl (Ashrah), Debi (Oona), Denise, Douglas (Dona), Fran (Sandel), George (Bethetee), Jim H (Trecia), Jim S, Jo (Tyl), Jody, Karen (Ziva), Kathleen (Beth), Laura (Belagia), Luana (Ring), Mavis (Mouve), Norm (Stephen), Pat (Fryolla), Paul H (Caroll), Paul T (Xutrah), Reta (Dehl), Rodney (Zacharie), Ron (Olivia), Sabrina (Stencett), Sangshin Kim, Sharon (Camdon), Sheri (Milde), Steve (Lambert), Wendy (Myiisha)

Elias arrives at 2:04 PM. (Arrival time is 28 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

GROUP: Good afternoon!

ELIAS: (Chuckles) This day, we shall be interactive with each other, and our subject matter shall be "your most familiar automatic response." (Moans and laughter from the group)

SHARON: Elias, it’s guilt.

ELIAS: This is your most familiar automatic response that you have experienced throughout your focus?

SHARON: Throughout my focus, and not just lately?


SHARON: It’s still guilt.

ELIAS: What is the response?

SHARON: Hmm, I don’t understand.

ELIAS: This is the emotion; what is the action?

SHARON: Self-discounting.

ELIAS: And what do you do, when you are self-discounting?

PAUL H: Bad, bad, bad! (Laughter)

SHARON: Absolutely - bad, bad, bad.

ELIAS: What actions do you incorporate?

SHARON: What actions? I’ll just have to go back to self-discounting, jump on the hamster wheel and invalidate self.

ELIAS: And therefore as you move through your day, you sabotage yourself.

SHARON: Absolutely, constantly.

ELIAS: Very well. This is one.

RODNEY: Would an example be my getting people to like me by being polite and affable?

ELIAS: Yes. (Slight pause) Offer another example of your MOST FAMILIAR automatic response.

PAT: Feeling responsible for others’ actions, my family.

ELIAS: And what do you do?

PAT: Well, lately I’ve been trying to keep my nose out of their business!

ELIAS: Ah, therefore you meddle! (Laughter)

PAT: I’m getting better at it though, at NOT meddling!

ELIAS: I am not inquiring of any of you what you are doing in this moment to be correcting any of your actions. I am inquiring, what is your most familiar automatic response?

PAT: And yes, I meddle. (Laughs)

ELIAS: Shynla?

CATHY: I can’t accomplish. (Elias nods) I can’t accomplish whatever is presented to me. I think, "Oh god, I can’t do this."

ELIAS: And therefore, you do not.

CATHY: Well, yes, for the most part...

ELIAS: You stifle yourself. Very well.

KATHLEEN: Could it be in sexuality, perhaps?


KATHLEEN: When you say "most familiar automatic response," I’m inspired to think you mean more generalized for every human, and I think of the orgasm response as being enormously familiar and automatic for people.

ELIAS: As an action, or a lack of?

KATHLEEN: A lack of. (Laughter)

ELIAS: Very well.

KATHLEEN: Does that make it automatic, if it’s a lack of action?


RETA: This is Dehl. I would say that one of the things that I regret is not living my own life to the fullest, always putting kids and husband first, and not getting around to me.

ELIAS: Therefore, your most automatic response that you are identifying is regret.

RETA: Yes, right.

ELIAS: Very well.

LAURA: This is Laura, and I would say it’s trying to discern what the correct action or thought might be, and just figuring there is a correct and an incorrect response.

ELIAS: This is quite common. (Smiling and nodding)

DARYL: This is Ashrah, and the response is "I don’t like this," (Elias smiles and nods) and then I try to change it.

ELIAS: Correct. Yes?

ARTHUR: Arthur; my automatic response would be that I know what other people are thinking. (Elias nods) I guess that would be it.

ELIAS: Very well.

LUANA: This is Luana. I guess mine would be withdrawal.

ELIAS: Therefore, you prevent interaction.

LUANA: Yes, separation from myself and whatever is the problem.

NORM: This is Stephen, and I believe in the last few years my automatic response is seeing the beauty in everything. (Elias nods)

DEBI: This is Debi. I think I’ve got a lot of them (Elias chuckles), but one thing has to do with always comparing. Everything I do comes from something I’m comparing. Everything I think, every choice I make depends on how they’ll take it, or how is it going to affect you, and how would you do this and how do they do that, and how’re they going to look at me, and that kind of thing. Then I feel choiceless, because I can’t figure out what everybody wants. (Elias smiles and nods)

RON: Good one, Deb.

FRAN: Well, comparably speaking... (Laughter)

ELIAS: Continue.

LUANA: How about judgment? Let’s throw that in there.

ELIAS: We are speaking individually. Look to yourselves. Identify within yourselves what you view as your most automatic response.

LUANA: We’re all approaching this from the negative. There’s also the positive side here.

ELIAS: Stephen has offered what you identify as the positive.

LUANA: Joyfulness is definitely an action taken on the other side.

ELIAS: In automatic response?

LUANA: Sometimes. (Elias nods)

RETA: This is Dehl again. Yesterday I was watching a program on the media, and they were discussing how the media is always negative in the United States. This woman called in and she said, "I would like to know why you live here, and what’s good about this." Most of us don’t put that first, we put it second. After you heard all these media people talk about why they love America, it was completely ... they need to put that on more often, because it was so nice to hear that they do this to try to help us, but they do it so negatively.

JO: This is Tyl, and I feel that one of my most automatic responses is that discernment or judgment before I decide if I’m going to respond to something beautiful or something horrible. It’s almost maybe some little in between step that I don’t even think about as being my first automatic response.

ELIAS: Evaluation.

JO: Yes.

PAUL H: This is Paul. I’m going to offer two sides of the coin.

ELIAS: Very well.

PAUL H: I would say the mistake, being wrong, and on the other side insatiable curiosity. (Elias nods)

DENISE: This is Denise. Lately, everything I see seems to be evidence of the shift. Every time I turn around I say, "That’s the shift." It’s all evidence of the shift that we’re talking about. Everything considered positive and negative, it’s all shift related.

ELIAS: And what is your individual automatic response that is most familiar within you?

DENISE: Positive or negative?

ELIAS: It matters not.

DENISE: I think being not good enough - no matter how good you are, never good enough.

ELIAS: Striving.

PAUL T: This is the other Paul. Inattention.


PAUL T: Not paying attention to what - regardless of what that is - is going on around me at the moment, not being in the moment.

ELIAS: Very well.

RON: My automatic response is no response. (Laughter and applause)

ELIAS: This is also a response! (Grinning and nodding)

Very well! In listening to each other as you express these automatic responses which are most familiar to you, what do you evaluate now as you move your attentions to yourselves and you allow yourselves to examine what is the motivation that drives these automatic responses? (Pause)

CATHY: Mine would be fear.

ELIAS: This is a general statement!

WENDY: This is Wendy. Very, very often, I’m trying to figure out what people are thinking and why they are doing what they are doing, and I think the motivation is to protect myself. (Elias nods)

ELIAS: Very well. And Shynla, offer specific.

Yes, this is an exercise that we are engaging, and it is purposeful. The beginning of the exercise has been to identify your most automatic response. This allows you the opportunity to examine an element of yourself, to familiarize yourself with what you DO, for you CHOOSE what you DO, but you do not recognize that you choose what you do.

The next step in this exercise is to identify what motivates those automatic responses, which allows you the opportunity to become more familiar with yourself and to identify the process in how you become familiar with yourselves. This requires specifics, not generalities. Your most significant question that you ask yourselves is "why," and your least answered question is "why." For you are not specific with yourselves, you do not allow yourselves the opportunity to pay attention to what you are actually doing, what motivates what you are doing, and what is influencing what you are doing.

CATHY: It’s just too hard! (Laughter, and Elias nods)

ARTHUR: A lot of times, Elias, I think it’s the other people influencing me instead of me.

ELIAS: Not paying attention to you!


ELIAS: And this is quite common with most individuals. Your attention is being projected to other individuals, and you are not paying attention to yourselves. Or you think you are paying attention to yourselves, for you may be paying attention in the moment to an action which is occurring or to an event.

STOP, now! Where is your attention? All of you!

RODNEY (and several others): On you.

ELIAS: Correct!

PAUL H: The motorcycle (the sound of a passing motorcycle could be heard as Elias asked the question of the group). (Much laughter, and Elias acknowledges with a nod)

ELIAS: Now; where are YOU in relation to your attention associated with me? (Pause)

RODNEY: I’m attempting to figure out what you’re saying. (Laughter)

ELIAS: (Smiling) Quite simply put, you are not.

KATHLEEN: I’d like to ask your suggestions on how to discern the why, because you’ve shifted my attention so that I see a lot of behaviors I have that are automatic or compulsive or whatever, and it’s very helpful to have the suggestion to examine the why before proceeding. Now I’m sort of stuck on the why, and want some help on how to discern through the why into wherever that leads next.

ELIAS: I am understanding what you are expressing, but the why is insignificant...

KATHLEEN: You said it was significant.

ELIAS: No, I have expressed that this is what YOU express most often. This is YOUR most significant question. For within your evaluations, this is your largest question: Why?

WENDY: But it’s insignificant?


FRAN: We’re supposed to be asking "how"?

ELIAS: And "what." Not necessarily why, for this question, as I have stated, you do not answer; and you present the question to myself once again, "Explain to myself how to answer this question ’why,’ for I am experiencing difficulty in answering this question ’why.’" For you ALL experience difficulty answering this question "why," for this question "why" does not move your attention to you in evaluation of yourself.

Whereas, if you are expressing to yourself "WHAT am I doing" first, you move your attention to now, which is extremely significant. Once you move your attention to now in asking yourself "what am I DOING," you begin evaluating. You may be expressing to yourself this very moment, "I am listening to Elias. I am sitting in a room. I am paying attention." Where is your attention in relation to yourself? What is your motivation? Your motivation in your presence in this room and your participation in conversation with myself is to become more familiar with you.

Now; where is your attention, each of you, in relation to yourselves? This is significant, for most of the individuals that are present within this room incorporate the orientation of common, and the most unfamiliar action to you is to be paying attention to what is occurring outside of yourself and paying attention to what is occurring within you simultaneously, being aware of your own presence, being aware of your own manifestation.

Do you feel your feet?

PAT: Now I do! (Laughter)

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Are you aware of your hair?

KATHLEEN: So is that another variety of discounting of one’s self, being common and paying more attention outwardly rather than...

ELIAS: Not necessarily. But you are shifting, and what is your choice in your shifting, to be shifting in difficulty or to be shifting in ease? And the METHOD (laughter) to be shifting in ease is to be paying attention to self.

I am quite aware that I have been expressing this statement from the onset of this forum, and I am also aware that most of the individuals within this forum do not understand what I am expressing. And you listen to myself express this to you, and you leave after our discussions and you discuss with each other and you ponder, how do I pay attention to me?

And I am offering you the method: to be paying attention to what you are actually doing in the moment, inquiring of yourself - especially within time frameworks in which you are expressing conflict or discounting of yourselves or the all-general fear - and offering yourselves the opportunity to inquire specifically, what is my fear now, in this moment? What am I DOING in this moment?

Those of you that incorporate the orientation of soft shall be receptive to this language of "doing" much more easily than those of you that may be common or intermediate, for this is incorporated in the language of soft - not "what am I creating"; "what am I doing?" Soft individuals are presented with the statement or the question "what are you creating" and their response may be "I do not know." (Laughter) Whereas, if you are presenting the question "what are you doing," they shall be quite obliged to be explaining to you.

Now; it is significant to offer this question to those of you that are common and intermediate, for you are also doing, and this terminology of "what are you creating" has become so mundane in your language that you are not paying attention. It is concept.

What are you creating? Yes?

FRAN: Well, I’m creating a wonderful experience of fellowship or whatever, and coming together with all these people who are very familiar to me.

ELIAS: Ah, and I may express to you in this moment that within the deep recesses of your genuine self, you do not believe this! (Laughter)

FRAN: I’ve been caught! (Laughter)

ELIAS: You believe that many individuals have come together of their own accord, and you are also present and participating and experiencing a feeling of being fortunate, but not that you actually created all of this.

Now; what are you DOING?

FRAN: I’m on the spot; I don’t know!

ELIAS: You are sitting within a room; you are speaking with myself. You are evaluating different aspects of yourself. You are engaging your thought processes...

FRAN: Yes, as usual.

ELIAS: evaluation.

How do you turn your attention to yourself? You pay attention to what you are doing.

Now; what may be an indication to many of you is what you are feeling. It may be a beginning point, for your feelings are somewhat identifiable. Not entirely, for you generalize your feelings also, and you choose what feeling may be strongest and express to yourself that you are experiencing merely one feeling. In actuality, for the most part, you are continuously offering yourselves communications through emotions, and there are many of them that are occurring simultaneously, which generate many feelings. But you are not paying attention, and therefore you express you are feeling neutral. (Pause)

(Gently) My friends, how may you genuinely appreciate - which is the expression of love - if you are unaware of what you are expressing? And if you do allow yourselves momentary experiences of genuine appreciation, how may you sustain that if you are not paying attention to what you are generating? Is this not what you all STRIVE for?

(Looking at Denise) Is this not your automatic response, striving?

DENISE: Si! (Laughter)

ELIAS: Were I to inquire of any of you in this forum presently, "What do you want? What is your most valuable expression that you want," I shall say to you, each of you shall respond to me that you want joy and love and happiness; and you offer yourselves fleeting moments, and you know not how to sustain this. But you are quite accomplished at sustaining conflict or discounting of yourselves or worry or guilt.

Now; once you move your attention to the now in inquiring of yourself "what am I doing," you may move your attention further to yourself in inquiring within yourself what is your motivation for DOING what you are doing in the moment. As you inquire of yourself what your motivation is, this shall move your attention to evaluation, and evaluation shall offer you information concerning your beliefs that influence you and your associations with triggers, which are past experiences that you have solidified in absolutes. This is the manner in which you become familiar with yourselves, and you allow yourselves to choose.

Now; before we break, I also shall be reminding each of you, as I have many times previously, belief systems and beliefs are not to be eliminated. They are an intricate aspect of this reality; they shall not disappear. But you incorporate choice.

Now; the wondrousness of this is that you incorporate ALL of the beliefs that are incorporated in ALL the belief systems. Therefore, you also incorporate the choice of which beliefs you shall express. Every belief that is expressed within the entirety of your world you also incorporate. You merely do not express them all. You express those that you prefer, even those that are uncomfortable; they are preferred. But you may alter your preferences, or you may continue with your preferences and recognize that you also incorporate choice, and you may choose which beliefs shall be expressed.

We shall continue with this concept subsequent to the break, for there is much to be manipulated in relation to your beliefs and which beliefs you choose to express. How you choose to express beliefs is also a manner in which you offer yourselves freedom and you discontinue conflict, and this is associated with not expressing expectations. We shall examine this method also.

And I shall be anticipating more of your participation! (Chuckles) Very well! We shall break, and we shall continue subsequently.

GROUP: Thank you; thank you, Elias!

BREAK at 2:40 PM
RESUME at 3:39 PM

ELIAS: Continuing! (Chuckles) Now; the next step of the exercise...

MALE: In specific.

ELIAS: Correct! In this, you shall offer scenarios of actions that you may incorporate that may present difficulty or uncomfortableness or conflict within yourself or in association with another individual, and we shall examine together what you are DOING, and what is the motivation, and what is the influence, and how you may manipulate energy to incorporate different choices to be expressing what you are DOING differently which may be less conflicting and may generate more ease in your movement, and may also offer to you examples in which you may pay attention to yourselves.

Therefore, offer an example.

KATHLEEN: I was annoyed by Rodney’s camera, and so I said loudly, "That’s annoying." That might be an example.

ELIAS: Very well. You are experiencing a signal: annoyance. What is the communication?

KATHLEEN: That’s annoying; I’m annoyed.

ELIAS: That is the signal.

KATHLEEN: Oh! (Pause) It’s distracting my attention from myself because of my own perception of how a camera affects me.

ELIAS: Very well; that is an attempt! (Laughter) You experience a signal: you are annoyed. You engage an automatic response: confrontation, indirectly. Rather than directly confronting the other individual in the automatic response, you choose the automatic response of avoidance and indirect confrontation, expressing to yourself that you are annoyed with the action that the other individual is incorporating.

Now; in turning your attention to you, you question yourself as to your motivation in what you do. What you DID was to be indirectly expressing a confrontation. Examining your motivation, you may examine the feeling of annoyance. What is the feeling of annoyance? What are you DOING that is generating this feeling? Not "what is Zacharie doing," for no other individual may be expressing your feelings; they do not cause your feelings. You create these; they are generated from some expression within yourself. You have partially identified - you are distracted. But what is beyond the distraction?

KATHLEEN: The motivation not to have my picture taken?

ELIAS: Correct. Now; this is interesting! You are moving with me. You are identifying beyond the initial response.

You are annoyed for you wish not to be incorporating the action of your photograph. Now examine this. What is influencing that expression within you? You wish not to be exposed.

KATHLEEN: I understand.

ELIAS: Therefore, you generate an automatic immediate response. You have not examined the motivation or the influences, the reasons, but you have generated the automatic response. You may view the automatic response in paying attention to what you do. You have examined what you did.

Now; in recognizing your apprehension in association with exposure of yourself, you may move beyond this and examine further, for this also is an expression of fear - but a SPECIFIC expression of fear, exposure. For your attention is moved to the other individual, and you wish not to be viewing yourself; therefore, you wish the other individual not to view you either. For in viewing you, there may be exposed some element of yourself that is a shadow that you are not comfortable with. (Slight pause) Shadows are what offer you your depth.

KATHLEEN: You told me that before.

ELIAS: I am aware. (Smiling, and group laughter)

Now; in this examination, as you recognize that these are the motivating and influencing factors, and you view your automatic response, not forcing energy away and not denying what you are expressing in the moment and not expressing a judgment in relation to yourself but accepting this is what you are expressing, this is the feeling that is being expressed. This is the message that you are offering to yourself; you are recognizing this.

This is not to say that the feeling dissipates, for you are not attempting to push it away. You are accepting. You are not embracing what you do not like. You are merely accepting that this is the expression that you are engaging in the moment and choosing to channel your energy in an efficient manner that shall not reinforce the discounting that you are already expressing. The expression that you offered in the indirect confrontation automatically discounts you. For what do you FEEL subsequent?

KATHLEEN: Embarrassed

ELIAS: Correct, and you discount yourself again.

Now; this is an automatic response. I have been expressing for a considerable time framework the significance of recognizing automatic responses. In recognizing the automatic response, you may choose to channel that energy in another manner. You may approach Zacharie and you may express to him, "I wish not to be photographed." Not that the photographing is annoying for it is disrupting of the group - which is the camouflage - but you are recognizing that you are expressing a fear in the moment of this exposure, acknowledging that fear, not attempting to push it away, not attempting to force energy, but offering a genuine expression to another individual, exposing yourself, that you wish not to be photographed.

What occurs in that scenario is you acknowledge yourself, you express a trust of yourself, you do not force energy, and you reinforce your acceptance of yourself. For, the fear is dissipated for you express the fear. You expose what you wish not to expose.

KATHLEEN: Can I indulge you to give me an essence name, make me aware of mine? (Pause)

ELIAS: Essence name, Beth, which also is shared with another essence which has participated in this forum, once.

KATHLEEN: Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome. (Smiles) I am greatly encouraging of you. (Chuckles)

Offer another example!

JO: Only that I had the same response, but I just decided to let Zacharie do his thing and try not to let it bother me.

ELIAS: Very well, which once again is an automatic response to attempt to change your expression that it may be more acceptable and therefore more accommodating of other individuals. For the fear which is expressed and the motivation which you express in not engaging confrontation is to be affecting of other individual’s perceptions of you, that you shall be acceptable for you are accommodating, and therefore the camouflage is that you are accepting. But you are not, and you also are pushing energy, attempting to fix within yourself an expression which is unacceptable to you: "I should be accepting of another individual’s choices and their actions, and I am experiencing that I am not. Therefore I shall force my energy and I shall create myself to be accepting." But this also is an avoidance.

(Quietly) Your liberation lies in your knowing yourselves, in your knowing of what you express, what you do, and what motivates and influences what you do, for this is where your choices lie. Automatic responses are black and white. They are choice of merely one response, and how limiting is this to you. You incorporate endless choices.

Offer another example.

RON: It bothers me that Rodney doesn’t take my picture nearly enough! (Loud prolonged laughter)

ELIAS: (To Rodney) Olivia wishes to be exposed! (Continued laughter)

RODNEY: Drop your pants, Ron! (Laughter, and Elias chuckles)

RON: On a serious note, I have problems participating in group activities.

ELIAS: Really! (Grinning, and group laughter) And you have discovered the acceptable solution in coupling yourself with another individual who expresses the same! (Continued group laughter, and Elias laughs out loud) Which also may be incorporated as an example of beliefs and influences, and recognizing them and not attempting necessarily to alter them, but rather a recognition of your preferences and allowance of yourself to express them - but you also each express an expectation of yourselves that you SHOULD BE participating more.

This is not a question of whether you should be participating more. It is your choice, and it matters not that you choose to not be incorporating more of an objective participation with other individuals within the group. It is a matter of recognizing your preferences which each of you incorporate.

But many times you discount your own preferences, for you express to yourself that they are unacceptable for they are not associated with the mass; and if you are expressing your preferences and they are different from the mass, other individuals may perceive you in a negative manner. And this is significant also, for this is associated with your own perception.

For the most part, as we have demonstrated in our "secrets sessions," other individuals’ perceptions may be quite different from your own, and what they notice and what they choose to interact with in relation to your energy expression may be quite different from what you perceive them to be expressing. This also is the significance of each individual’s perception, for this is what creates your individual reality.

In this room presently, each of you is creating a different scenario. It may be similar, for you are participating together and therefore there is an energy exchange that is occurring between you all. You all project an energy in presence now, but how each of you receives that energy from all of the other individuals in this group is unique to yourself, and you shall project the manifestation of this forum, of this group, of this event, in your individual unique manner, through your own lens.

This is significant that you have offered this example, Olivia, for this is an example of preference. And shall you offer yourself permission to express your preference? Or shall you attempt to force yourself to be compliant with the preferences of other individuals, and therefore allow other individuals to dictate to you your choices? Freedom or victim? Choice or not?

PAT: I have a question ... not a question, but just a scenario to put to you. I have a daughter who is very domineering. I’m dealing with her, and I love her and all that. I also have a daughter-in-law who none of us likes, but we have to accept her because she’s part of the family now. They’re having a conflict.

Now, in the past I have managed to get myself in the middle of their conflict - meddling, that’s my thing (laughing) - but I am trying this time not to, and I’m trying to step aside. But every time my daughter comes to me and complains, I find myself getting involved and being on her side, and "yeah, yeah, yeah!" But then I say, "I don’t want to hear it; I don’t want anything to do with it," and so I’m just wondering what I’m doing here.

My automatic response is to side with my daughter, even though I know that nine times out of ten she’s wrong, but my dislike for my daughter-in-law comes into place, and I naturally kind of lean towards my daughter because I don’t like this girl.

ELIAS: What is the point in all these scenarios, but freedom? This is your key term, freedom.

Now; what freedom are you denying yourself in this scenario?

PAT: To not be involved because it’s none of my business!


PAT: No? It’s news to me, but okay. (Laughter)

ELIAS: You are denying YOUR choices. You initiated this scenario with myself, expressing to me an involvement of two other individuals, one your daughter and one your new daughter, so to speak. One you like, one you dislike. The one that you dislike, you express to myself, "But I HAVE TO be accepting of this individual, for she is..."

PAT: My son’s choice.

ELIAS: ...your SON’S choice.

PAT: Right, but she’s part of the family now. How can I deny being a good mother-in-law to her?

ELIAS: What is YOUR choice?

PAT: To dump her! (Laughter) Let him marry someone else! That’s my honest reaction. I’m sorry, but it’s true!

ELIAS: Therefore, you do not incorporate a preference for this individual.

PAT: Not at all.

ELIAS: And you wish not to be interactive with this individual.

PAT: But I have to be, because she’s family.

ELIAS: Ah! And there is the denial of your choice. Recognize the belief that is influencing what you do. What is your motivation? "For she is family."

PAT: But I want the love of my son, and this is his love.

ELIAS: And therefore your son’s expression is dependent upon this individual’s expression? No.

PAT: Okay ... and?

ELIAS: Your interaction with your son is your choice. You are denying your choices within yourself, for you incorporate a belief that expresses there must be a specific type of interaction in relation to family, even acquired family. More so with biological family, but even acquired family shall be incorporated as family and therefore shall be accepted. Where are your choices?

PAT: My choices are to dump her. (Laughs)

ELIAS: Your choice is not expressed, for you are allowing these automatic responses to dictate to you. You are not directing you. You are allowing other individuals to direct you, and where shall they steer your ship? Into a glacier?

PAT: Yeah, bad news.

ELIAS: Where shall you steer your ship? And HOW do you steer it? Through your attention.

Where is your attention, upon self? No. Upon your son and your daughter-in-law and your daughter, and the conflict that ensues between your daughter and your son’s partner.

What is your choice?

PAT: I think my choice would be - and I’ve tried to do this recently - not to be involved. But I do find myself, if I’m sitting in companionship with my daughter, I find myself just leaning her way, of anger. She could say things, and I’m just going, "Yeah!" I’m trying to figure out where I am there, why I can’t say, "It’s your choice, your problem, not my problem. Don’t get me involved." I say that, but in my heart I’m leaning with the person of choice, which is my daughter.

ELIAS: Very well. In this scenario, there are several actions occurring, and you are expressing several directions. One, you are expressing projecting your attention outwardly to your daughter, holding your attention upon your daughter, seeking approval, seeking acceptance from your daughter; and the manner in which you are expressing this is to be in alignment with her expressions, for this presents yourself as more acceptable if you are in alignment and not expressing differently. But your automatic association is that you wish to be expressing to your daughter "I wish not to be involved; I wish not to interact in this manner; this is your problem."

This is not a problem, and removal is merely denial and not viewing yourself or your choices, and this shall not dissipate the signal, which is the feeling. That churning that you are experiencing shall continue regardless of whether you choose to be expressing to your daughter "this is your problem; I wish not to be involved."

You are not addressing to yourself. You are not addressing to your motivation, your influences, your beliefs, or what you are doing. Therefore, the signal continues. You may discontinue physical participation in discussion with your daughter in relation to the other individual for you incorporate the belief concerning gossip, but this shall not dissipate the communication that you are expressing to yourself, and the signal that is expressed in relation to that.

PAT: How do I find that signal, though?

ELIAS: In paying attention to you, not what your daughter wants, not what your son wants, not what your daughter-in-law wants...

PAT: I want peace in the family.

ELIAS: And do you create other individual’s reality?

PAT: No, I create my own.

ELIAS: Correct.

PAT: So if I have peace within myself, it doesn’t matter.

ELIAS: Correct.

PAT: It matters not. I like that term! (Laughs) We’ve come full circle, didn’t we!

ELIAS: In generating that peace within yourself, so to speak, recognizing that you incorporate preferences, you also incorporate opinions, and other individuals do also, and they may be different from your own. This does not express that theirs are wrong or yours are better, or that theirs are better and yours are wrong. They are merely different. Difference is the greatest challenge in this shift in relation to acceptance.

Now; in paying attention to you and offering yourself permission to choose what you want and not concerning yourself with the choices of other individuals, you begin to generate that peace that you are seeking, without seeking from other individuals.

Let me express to you, my friend, as you generate within yourself genuinely, you shall also generate that outwardly. What you manifest within yourself you express that energy outward, and it creates quite a different reality. The energy that you draw to yourself in relation to other individuals shall reflect yours.

Therefore, in association with your daughter and your new daughter, the energy that you are projecting from within yourself is manifest through your perception, which creates your actual physical reality. Therefore you project this lack of acceptance, and what do you manifest? Conflict, and you draw to yourself like energy.

This is not karma. It is quite purposeful. This is a gift that you each offer to yourselves in this physical manifestation, the opportunity to clearly view yourselves through the reflection of your interactions with other individuals. Therefore, if you are generating conflict and you continue to generate conflict, and you are not paying attention to you and your choices in this type of scenario, you draw to yourself the reflection.

PAT: So is there anything I could do besides looking to myself and being more accepting? Is there anything I could do to help these two individuals, or just stay out of it?

ELIAS: (Firmly) This is not your responsibility.

PAT: Mine is to myself. We talked earlier about responsibility. That’s my issue.

ELIAS: Your responsibility is to no other individual. You do not create other individuals’ realities. Their choices are their choices and they are not bad, and they incorporate their choices purposefully, as do you. This is not to say that all of your choices are comfortable, but they are all beneficial and they are purposeful.

But your attempt is to fix. It is not broken.

PAT: Okay, I understand. Thank you.

ELIAS: You are welcome.

CATHY: Ron and I recently were going to purchase a house. As we were talking to the other realtor who was representing the sellers, at one point in time I asked her about the property across the street. She kind of blew me off and I got one of those signals like you’re not telling me everything, and I just registered it in my mind, and that was it. I talked to Ron about it later, and he had the same impression about it that I did. As it turns out, the only little thing they weren’t disclosing to me was the fact that they could be building a high school across the street - which doesn’t work for me. (Laughter) It’s not written in stone, and I realized that.

But what am I reflecting to myself when I pick up something like that from somebody, and I find out later that ... I just felt that she wasn’t being totally up-front, so somehow I’m not totally being up-front?

ELIAS: Correct, for what is your response? Look to what you are DOING. What was your response? To not engage conversation in relation to your impression.

You offer yourself a communication. You present yourself with the creation of a scenario: there is an individual before you that you are identifying as not offering you all of the information or not disclosing information to you, and your choice immediately is to also not disclose information that you are aware that there is...

CATHY: Oh, I wasn’t listening to my impression is what it was.

ELIAS: Correct.

CATHY: I didn’t know right in that moment what it was, but it was something.

ELIAS: It matters not. You choose to be incorporating the same action, for you did not disclose to the other individual your impression, either.

CATHY: I said I wouldn’t want to find out that there would be a school ... so how does that work?

ELIAS: And what were you expressing in trust of your impressions? You offered yourself the impression, and you paid attention to the impression and you viewed it clearly. But did you offer yourself the freedom to express that?

CATHY: No, heavens no, I had to go research it and find out in black and white first! (Laughter)

ELIAS: Precisely, which is the trust.

NORM: So how can this freedom of choice, how can this be expanded and interpolated to society, sets of people - smaller sets, larger sets, entire countries, the entire world? Will it work?


NORM: It has, in other probabilities?

ELIAS: It matters not. You are involving yourself in this probability, are you not?

NORM: I am. This is the best one! (Laughter, and Elias smiles lopsidedly)

ELIAS: Remember the stone in the pool. It ripples outward - and it does - but it does not if you do not drop the stone.

NORM: But it also depends upon your sense of beliefs, the society’s sense of beliefs.

ELIAS: It matters not.

NORM: It doesn’t?


NORM: Freedom is a truth, then?

ELIAS: Yes. (Pause) And each expression of freedom that you offer to yourself ripples in energy and is affecting.

NORM: Like an atomic bomb.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. (Smiles) Very well, you may all view yourselves as small nuclear bombs! (Laughter)

RODNEY: I’m a big one!

ELIAS: Ah, Zacharie is a large nuclear bomb! (Chuckles) How wondrously affecting may you be! (Laughter)

I pose to you all, do you incorporate somewhat clearer understanding of what you are incorporating in this exercise and in your movement in how you create the action of paying attention to yourselves? If this is significant!

RODNEY: Question: the week before I came out here, I’m going into the same scenario with my boss that I discussed with you in January of this year. It’s my day off, and the last thing on my way out the door, there’s this big job, "we’re going to lose this big account and I want you to do this work right away." I say, "Fine, it’ll be done first thing Monday morning." At which he blows up, just like he did before, and I have this tremendous urge to say, "Hey, this is my day off!"

The reason I bring this up is because I want to ask you what I did, because I’m not sure what I did. I did not go to the same place that I went before. I somehow tried to focus on me, and what came up was in an almost comical way I said, "You’re making our keeping this account MY responsibility? You’re putting this on MY shoulders?" It was almost comical. Then he reached over and picked up a picture of his very, very lovely cute three or four-year-old daughter and held it up in front of me and said, "Would you deprive her?" (Laughter) At which point we both started to laugh, and I said, "Andrew, you’ve got to go back to that Jewish training you got as a little boy, because you’re not handing out the guilt like you’re supposed to," and the whole thing evaporated.

It evaporated in laughter instead of going into this horrible ... and the only reason I brought that up was that I attempted to see what I did. I haven’t seen what I did, but somehow at that point...

ELIAS: You chose to manipulate your energy differently.

RODNEY: It was just that choosing it’s going to be different this time that did it?

ELIAS: (Nodding) Yes.

RODNEY: I like that! (Laughter and applause)

ELIAS: It is much more simple than you imagine!

RODNEY: It IS simple! Thank you, Mr. Elias!

ELIAS: Thank you, Zacharie! (Laughter continues) Ha ha ha ha ha!

LUANA: I have a question. Since all that we do is beneficial and purposeful, why did we all choose to engage this nonacceptance in our species and our times?

PAUL H: You got a month? (Laughter)

ELIAS: To offer yourselves the opportunity to shift and to become genuinely objectively familiar with yourselves.

LUANA: And we couldn’t have done that, except to the extent that we chose of nonacceptance to do that?

ELIAS: Not necessarily. It is a choice.

LUANA: But that was the choice?


LUANA: Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome. (Chuckling)

RODNEY: Question, because it kind of came up in some of what you talked about. I recently read you describing love as knowing and appreciation...

ELIAS: Correct.

RODNEY: ...and then you added a little adjective there, that you said this is a very heavy term, implying that we’re not truly ... at least I got that I don’t truly know the depth of the meaning of the word "appreciation." If you’ve covered it in the material, fine, I’ll go find it, but if you haven’t I would love you to expound on the significance of that term.

ELIAS: Appreciation is ultimate acceptance. It is a recognition of the value of whatever you move your attention to in relation to appreciation, the genuine expression of knowing its value without fear, without resistance, in resignation to it.

RODNEY: This goes far beyond the term "thankfulness."

ELIAS: Yes, and the appreciation may not be expressed without the knowing.

RODNEY: And for the knowing, we have to be able to get beyond our automatic responses.

ELIAS: And allow yourself openness and exposure and vulnerability, allowing yourself to receive.

RODNEY: To what?

ELIAS: Receive. I shall express the contrary to your religious beliefs: it is better to receive than to give. (Grinning, and much laughter) Although there is no better! Ha ha ha ha!

JO: Elias, I have a follow-up question, because we were just talking about appreciation in the car. When it comes to family and things like that, sometimes I’ve gotten to the point where I feel that I’m not going to send any more Christmas presents if they’re not going to acknowledge it, which makes me feel like they don’t appreciate it. I do feel like I’m doing things out of obligation sometimes, but I have conflict about whether to continue to rise above the situation and whether or not it’s my own expectation.


JO: So there is some quality to giving without expectation...

ELIAS: Quite.

JO: ...that has to do with my appreciating them...

ELIAS: Correct.

JO: ...and not expecting to receive that in return.

ELIAS: Correct.

JO: But when do you just become a glutton for punishment? (Laughing) I mean, are they trying to tell you something by not sending back something, too?

ELIAS: YOU are attempting to offer yourself information concerning your expectations. And I may express to you, in the expressions in which you genuinely offer your energy in appreciation and you do not incorporate an expectation, you may surprise yourself and create the reflection of what you offer in that appreciation.

SHARON: That’s so beautiful.

ELIAS: That, my friend, as love is a truth.

SHARON: Freedom is a truth, you said freedom was a truth...


SHARON: Oh, that’s beautiful.

JO: Is there an element of humor that’s a truth?

ELIAS: This is associated with your physical dimension. Therefore in a manner of speaking, as associated with emotional communications, it is not necessarily relevant to other dimensions or areas of consciousness, and therefore may not necessarily be translatable in another manner. Truths are translatable in some manner in EVERY area of consciousness.

JO: I’m not sure I want to go, then! (Elias laughs with the group) If there aren’t any laughs...

ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha! Another element to appreciate within your physical dimension!

RODNEY: Elias, is humor then something like emotion? Is it a signal...


RODNEY: ...for other information?


RODNEY: It is an emotion.


PAT: Humor is a signal? Is that what we’re saying? Humor is only a signal?

RODNEY: It’s a signal like emotion is a signal.

PAT: So, it all zeros down to only being a signal?

ELIAS: A signal also incorporates an accompanying message, for it is an emotion.

PAT: So it’s a signal for us to look for what the communication might be?

ELIAS: ALL communications through emotion also incorporate a signal.

LUANA: Say that one more time, please.

ELIAS: All communications associated with emotion also incorporate a signal.

LUANA: Is that true of your laughter and your humor?

ELIAS: This is quite associated with the filtration of the energy exchange. I have offered not many but more than one expression of myself which does not incorporate what is familiar to you within this forum, and the response is a non-response.

PAT: People don’t like it, do they?


PAT: They want to see what they’re used to seeing.

ELIAS: Correct. This is purposeful; for you have asked for information, therefore the most efficient manner in which to respond with the information that you have asked for is to be compliant with what is familiar to you within your known objective reality. You incorporate emotion, and therefore I also express this.

PAUL H: So were those examples that you referred to that were unfamiliar, was it a lack of emotion?

ELIAS: Quite, yes.

PAUL H: And that’s why there was a non-response. People didn’t know ... was this in a group setting?

ELIAS: Yes, which is within our recordings, is it not, Shynla?

CATHY: Yes. (Elias chuckles)

KATHLEEN: My view has been turned to the Muslim world, and I have a limited ability to grasp the huge differences between perceptual fields from an American orientation. How can we bridge those gaps in our understanding which translate into nonacceptance?

ELIAS: In assimilating what we have discussed this day and remembering that you incorporate ALL beliefs of ALL belief systems. You merely choose to express certain beliefs, but you incorporate all the same beliefs. Assimilating what we have discussed this day is your step to that bridge.

I shall be disengaging this day, for I am incorporating an awareness of Michael’s weakening hold in this energy exchange.

(Turning to Wendy) Also, in request, offering essence name, Myiisha, M-Y-I-I-S-H-A (my-EE-sha); essence family, Sumari (scattered cheers); alignment, Ilda; orientation, common. (Slight pause) I am teasing! Ha ha ha ha ha! Soft! (Laughter, and Elias continues laughing) That is the incorporation of humor! Ha ha ha ha ha!

WENDY: I was just shocked! (Laughing, and Elias laughs)

ELIAS: I am aware of Michael’s energy! And his requests, at times - if I am so choosing! (Continues laughing)

Therefore to you all this day, as always, in my encouragement, my offering of supportiveness to you each, and in my genuine knowing and appreciation of each of you, in affection, au revoir.

GROUP: Au revoir, good-bye. Wonderful!

Elias departs at 4:40 PM

(1) Elias is referring to two "secrets sessions," #35, 9/3/95, and #171, 5/4/97, in which the group exercise was for each individual to divulge to the group a secret about themselves and the belief system behind it.

(2) From Session #869, 7/24/01: "This term of ’appreciation’ incorporates much more significance than individuals have attributed to it previously. This is a weighty term."

©2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.