Tuesday, April 30, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Pamela (Pviette)
Elias arrives at 2:03 PM. (Arrival time is 21 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

PAMELA: Good morning, Elias.

ELIAS: And how shall we proceed?

PAMELA: First, I would like to thank you again for making yourself available in these individual sessions for us to be able to ask our questions. It's really such a wonderful opportunity that you provide us. I appreciate it so much. Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

PAMELA: I'd like to better identify some lifelong motivations, and with your help, view what I'm creating a little better. The strongest compelling desire that I've had in this lifetime has been exploring consciousness. I've been literally compelled with it, in a joyous way. I've loved the exploration. Will you confirm that this is Milumet influence or that this is why I'm connected with the Milumet family, that this is a basis, a foundation of my essence?

ELIAS: Yes.

PAMELA: But I do seem to be going around and around in a loop over the same probabilities, and so I would like your help exploring kind of initially what went on with me as a child, a very young child, and why I created the environment that I did, where I totally eclipsed my Sumari alignment - the creativity self - totally eclipsed my needs and just blindly followed my family's needs and desires, especially with my father. I was just a good little girl, and I feel like it's part of why, or that pattern that was set up is part of why, I kind of struggle now with some consciousness issues. Can you help me understand that environment, why I created that?

ELIAS: I may say to you that I do not view your choices as necessarily eclipsing the expression of your alignment, for there are many different types of expressions that may be explored within this physical dimension in association with this essence family, in alignment with it. Creativity may be expressed in many different manners, not merely artistic.

I may also express to you that you have offered yourself an exploration of the dynamic that is expressed in family roles within your society, and have chosen to be compliant with that for a time framework to allow yourself a clearer view of the influences of beliefs in association with perception and how these beliefs influence your choices and therefore also influence your perception and what you actually generate in a physical reality. Therefore, I may express to you that your choice to be aligning with the family roles has been quite purposeful, for now you may examine these roles and more clearly define and recognize the beliefs that are so very influencing of your perceptions in relation to these roles.

PAMELA: So in essence I set up this family structure prior to birth?

ELIAS: A potential, not specifically, for you generate the probabilities and the choices in each moment.

PAMELA: So then help me understand the choice that I was given during the tonsillectomy at the age of five-and-a-half, of being able to leave this manifestation. Because as I remember, the only thing I remember about this choice was that I was told that things had changed from what I had set up at birth and I was being given the chance to leave. If I chose to stay, it would be worth it but it would be hard. It was like some part of me just thrilled at that challenge and that was it. So what was it basically that changed? Why was I given the choice to exit then, if this family dynamic was kind of something I wanted to explore?

ELIAS: In actuality, this is your interpretation and the imagery that you presented to yourself and...

PAMELA: You mean of this choice?

ELIAS: Yes. This is the manner in which you translated this choice, for in actuality the choice is not offered to you.

PAMELA: The choice to leave was not offered to me?

ELIAS: No. You generate that choice yourself.

PAMELA: Well, I just assumed it was another part of myself making me aware of this.

ELIAS: Merely offering you information that it is a choice.

PAMELA: So I obviously chose to stay. Why would I remember this, then? Why have I chosen to remember this incident? I mean, how is that... I'm sorry, I'm just kind of ... I wasn't expecting your answer. (Elias chuckles) So I didn't fragment at that time, or I didn't change probabilities? Or did I change probabilities at that time?

ELIAS: You are continuously altering probabilities. No, you have not fragmented at that point, but you do alter probabilities and generate probable selves in moments such as this in which you generate significant alterations of probabilities, so to speak. I may enquire of you, what shall suggest to you that you should not be remembering of this experience?

PAMELA: Nothing, actually. I guess I just really saw it... Do you confirm that this was a decision of choosing "am I going to continue with this manifestation, or am I not?"

ELIAS: Yes, and that in itself is significant, for you offer yourself objective information in that moment that this is in actuality a choice, which is quite contrary to mass beliefs in association with death. Mass beliefs express that death is not a choice.

PAMELA: Correct, except I guess that I have always known, and this is probably why I've always known that it was the individual's choice.

ELIAS: Correct.

PAMELA: But giving myself that choice and being aware of it to me has always indicated that maybe what I set up was going to be a little more challenging than I originally anticipated, because it really has been a struggle.

On the one hand, I've always known about conscious creation. I always knew that people meant things other than what they were saying. I knew that they didn't always do what they intended to do. I always knew there was something going on. I looked up at the sky and it made me aware that there was so much more going on than just myself. So I always knew that. And yet it seems I've always struggled with creating a life where I feel I thrive instead of survive. And I know that's why I seek to find your help today, to try to understand how I block my own creations. I know I'm creating all the time, but I just feel like I go around and around on the hamster wheel.

ELIAS: I am understanding. In this, what you have generated, my friend, is an allowance of yourself to view the vastness of consciousness and the powerfulness of consciousness, but not allowed yourself to apply this to yourself as yourself, and this is your exploration.

PAMELA: To explore it without being able to apply it?

ELIAS: No, to move yourself through your exploration into the genuine knowing that you may apply this to yourself and view yourself as all of this expression of consciousness.

PAMELA: I noticed in my childhood that I set up some powerful - or I shouldn't necessarily use the word powerful - some dynamics of opposites. My family was a positive-thinking family, and then I suffered incredible depression throughout my childhood. There was also a feeling of almost a smothering of togetherness within the family and I craved freedom of solitude. Then also having a father who played the role of victim and judge, and yet always knowing about creating your own reality. Those are some fairly dynamic opposites. Was that just a part of the exploration, too?

ELIAS: Yes, in allowing you to view different roles and different expressions and also differences in perceptions, and to discover your perception and offer yourself the freedom to express in the manner that you choose without limitation and without concerning yourself with the dictates of other individuals or without concerning yourself with the perceptions of other individuals and that their perception may be different from your perception. Their movement may be different, their alignment with beliefs may be different, but that does not dictate to you your choices.

Therefore, you have offered yourself objectively the opportunity to view many different expressions and perceptions, to emphasize to yourself the significance of your own perception and the significance of allowing yourself the freedom to be expressing yourself naturally, and not attempting to alter that in compliance with other individuals or in relation to what you perceive to be the expectations of other individuals - which are, in actuality, the expectations of yourself.

PAMELA: Perceiving their expectations is actually perceiving my own expectations?

ELIAS: Yes.

PAMELA: Then why do I still struggle with this so much? I mean, I feel like I really respect myself. I really appreciate a lot, and yet I'm still in this environment of a severely disapproving parent who just thinks I'm worthless. So this is me saying to myself that there's a part of me that still is discounting myself?

ELIAS: Yes.

PAMELA: A major part of me still discounting myself?

ELIAS: Yes. Let me express to you, my friend, there is quite a difference between the expressions of accepting yourself and trusting yourself.

Now; you present to yourself the issue of approval. In this, you are offering yourself imagery and information in relation to trust.

I am in agreement and shall be acknowledging of you that you do offer yourself a considerable expression of acceptance of yourself, and therefore generate somewhat of a comfortableness in your being. But you may be accepting of many aspects of yourself, and not necessarily trust yourself and trust your ability to generate what you want.

In allowing yourself to view this presentment of the subject matter of approval or disapproval, you are generating imagery that shall allow you to address to your own lack of trust in your ability to generate creating what YOU want, and your lack of trust in yourself to offer yourself the freedom to express you without limitation and without condition. You afford the idea of consciousness with this trust, but not yourself.

PAMELA: Can you repeat that?

ELIAS: You afford the idea of consciousness with this trust, but not yourself.

PAMELA: I still don't understand.

ELIAS: You may conceptually view consciousness. You may offer to yourself a knowing of consciousness and the vastness of it and the wonderment of it, and you may allow yourself a knowing that any expression may be created within consciousness. But as you look to yourself individually, you may be expressing to yourself that you are consciousness but you are a being of consciousness in your perception. Therefore, you do not afford yourself the trust of your individual ability as consciousness to generate any expression that you want without condition.

PAMELA: Where did the lack of trust come from, and how do I turn that around?

Let me mention, I just read one of your sessions, Session #86, where you talked about the "purity of poverty," and it so struck a chord with me. It was that idea of if you've been wealthy and then you lose your wealth in that manifestation, you can never have a purity of poverty because you have a remembrance of wealth. Certainly poverty is not my issue, abundance is not my issue, and yet it struck a chord because I realized in this area - and I guess it's the area of trust - I have a purity of poverty. I don't have it and I've never had it. I mean, I look back and I have no memories of being really successful in thriving. How do I turn that around?

ELIAS: In paying attention to you, in genuinely - genuinely - turning your attention to you, not generating or concerning yourself with comparisons, not projecting your attention outwardly to other individuals or even to situations and circumstances, but turning your attention to you and allowing yourself to examine the influences of the beliefs that you hold upon your perception. Once recognizing what influences your perception, you may also recognize how this becomes an obstacle or how this restricts your choices. And thusly in acknowledgment of these beliefs, you may also allow yourself the freedom of choice, which in itself shall begin to generate more of an expression of trust within you.

As you continue to project your attention outwardly and concern yourself with the expressions of other individuals, you are not paying attention to you and your own communications. You merely reinforce your lack of trust that you incorporate the ability to generate what you want merely within yourself and [that] this is not dependent upon any other individual or situation or rules. There are no conditions upon what you generate in what you create other than those that you place upon yourself.

But in actuality, regardless of what may be being expressed by other individuals or societies or any expression within your physical dimension, you do literally incorporate the ability to generate whatever reality you want, regardless of situation or circumstances. But you place conditions upon yourself: "I may generate this if I first generate this. I may create this, but it is dependent upon whether I have already generated this other action."

PAMELA: I'm putting conditions on myself?

ELIAS: Correct, and therefore generating limitations, for you are not viewing what you are doing as generated from you. You are not trusting that you yourself are generating outwardly. The manner in which you are perceiving is that you are acquiring from outside of yourself - not that you are creating it, but that you are acquiring.

PAMELA: And I've always come from this perception in this manifestation, correct?

ELIAS: Yes. But you move now in a direction of offering yourself information, and this is the reason that you engage conversation with myself, to offer yourself information objectively to recognize this expression of conditions that you place upon yourself and expectations of yourself, and also to allow yourself the opportunity to examine what you actually individually generate within yourself in relation to your beliefs, and how you express your perception, and therefore offer yourself the opportunity of choice and freedom in altering your perception and allowing you the perception of recognizing that you are not acquiring, you are creating.

PAMELA: Okay. You say I am moving in this direction?

ELIAS: Yes.

PAMELA: I feel in the last five, ten years, especially the last five years that I have made incredible inroads in consciousness, and yet I so rarely see outward proof or the outward result. It's like I keep continuing my exploration of consciousness and that keeps expanding, but as you're saying, I haven't been allowing myself to feel my own personal power, my own personal abilities within that.

ELIAS. Correct. Define to myself what you assess as your "exploration or inroads of consciousness."

PAMELA: Through meditation, through appreciating, feeling that I've had inspiration and information come to me in moments of contemplation. I never used to read anything but Seth, because there was a big fear element. I was afraid about the end of the world and what was going to happen and a lot of doom and gloom. There was a lot of doom and gloom information out there, so I cloistered myself.

Once I became aware in the middle of this last decade that there was a lot of other information coming through, I allowed that in. I've explored a lot of different things. I've looked into astrology and a lot of different healing techniques, just out of interest's sake. They don't seem to be my path, but I just found them interesting, like pieces of the puzzle. Again, I just love this search. I love this puzzle.

ELIAS: And you offer yourself considerable volumes of information, but you do not necessarily incorporate that information in relation to yourself and your trust of your ability to generate.

PAMELA: But I know that's why I'm looking. I mean, I know that's why I continue, and I do. When I read the sessions, that's my goal: "Okay, how can I use this in my life? How am I doing this? How can I find this trust?" I guess I'm just feeling that the level of lack of trust that I have... I wish there was just a light switch I could flip, but I can't find that light switch!

ELIAS: Now; let me express to you first of all, you may begin in the moment. For what you are generating is acquiring, in your perception, more and more and more information, and projecting that you shall allow yourself to incorporate this information at some point. The point is now, and to begin, in the NOW, practicing. For, each expression of practice that you incorporate in each moment, in each situation, offers you another validation and reinforcement of trust.

Therefore, the manner in which you may begin is in each moment. In the moment that you are interactive with your parent and you notice that there is an expression of disapproval, allow yourself to move your attention in the moment. You are generating an expectation that if you offer yourself enough information, your reality shall alter itself automatically. This is not the manner in which you generate creating your reality. YOU create it. Therefore, you also create what you concentrate upon - not what you THINK of, for thought does not generate your reality. It does not precede it and it does not create it. It merely translates.

PAMELA: How is concentration different from thought, from thinking of something?

ELIAS: Concentration is associated with your beliefs and your associations. This is the concentration of your attention, and in this, you do create what you concentrate upon. If you are generating a lack of trust within yourself and manifesting that in an issue of approval, as you continue to not allow yourself to examine the beliefs that are influencing, you continue to generate automatic responses and a lack of choice.

You evidence this to yourself in outward manifestation, in which you generate interactions and reflections of other individuals which shall be disapproving, and you shall continue to seek the approval, for you are not paying attention to you. You are not receiving your own messages in your own communications to yourself, for you are not paying attention to what YOU are generating. You concern yourself with what is occurring outside of yourself and attempting to alter that.

But you are not even attempting to alter that - you are generating an expectation that if you merely offer yourself information and meditate in relation to the information that you offer to yourself, your reality shall magically and mysteriously create itself for you, and shall mysteriously alter. And it shall not, for you are the individual that is generating it.

This is the significance, which is tremendous, of paying attention to yourself, familiarizing yourself with you and your beliefs and your associations with beliefs, with your perception, and with how you move your attention and where you move your attention. For how may you offer yourself choice if you do not recognize what you are creating? If the responsibility of the creation is affixed to a situation or another individual, you automatically generate the automatic response of becoming a victim, for you are not generating that expression of your reality any longer, in your perception. Some other expression is generating it for you.

But in turning your attention to yourself and allowing yourself to be generating responsibility for creating your reality, what you actually create is a tremendous expression of freedom, for now you are no longer a victim. For if no other element is generating any aspect of your reality except you, you may choose all of it.

PAMELA: I understand that so well intellectually.

ELIAS: Ah, and I am quite understanding of this expression. Many individuals intellectually understand the concept, but it remains a concept and not a reality, for you have not moved the concept into experience.

PAMELA: Correct. And since learning about you, which has only been four months of reading some of the sessions, I really have been trying to learn to pay attention. That definitely is the challenge, interpreting your own messages, your own communications.

ELIAS: Correct, and also paying attention in the now, holding your attention in the moment, not projecting futurely or pastly. For you quite easily generate moving the responsibility once again from yourself to some aspect that may be future or past; which in actuality, if you allow yourself to genuinely examine this action, there is a tremendous separation in this expression also. For you view yourself to be who and what you are now, and not who and what you were as a child - that is another individual.

Therefore in projecting your attention to that child who is another individual, the responsibility shifts to that child, and once again is not expressed within you now. Which, once again, if you are not incorporating the responsibility, you are not generating your own choices and you are becoming victim to another expression, even an expression of yourself as another individual, as a child.

PAMELA: Okay, that makes sense. But if we can change the past, if the past is as fluid as the now and the future, then decisions we make in the moment ripple out from that, correct?

ELIAS: You are correct.

PAMELA: Do they change those past and future expressions the same way they can change who you are now?

ELIAS: Yes.

PAMELA: So then you can have different memories of a childhood, let's say...

ELIAS: Correct.

PAMELA: ...and what you're doing is you're tapping into all those different probabilities that were available then, anyway.

ELIAS: Correct. There are no absolutes. Even your experiences are not absolute.

PAMELA: I understand that intellectually again. (Elias and Pamela laugh) Well, I certainly will continue working with the paying attention, and probably will call you back after I work with that a little more, although I've been working with it. But again, it's just challenging really recognizing the communications you're giving yourself.

ELIAS: Allow yourself, my friend, within the few days to come, so to speak, allow yourself to experiment. And in this experimentation, allow yourself to genuinely hold your attention in the moment, regardless of any scenario that you create or involve yourself with in any capacity. And in the moments, allow yourself to attempt to genuinely pay attention to what you are expressing to yourself: what you are communicating to yourself in emotional communications, what you are offering to yourself through your outer senses, what you are generating in your physical body consciousness, and whether you are allowing yourself to relax your energy or noticing in a moment that your body consciousness is beginning to express tension and tightness.

In this, as you interact with other individuals, experiment, and in the moment that you begin to experience any input, allow yourself to remove the other individual from your perception. Playfully in the experiment, allow yourself to create the other individual as disappearing. Therefore, the other individual momentarily does not exist, and in that moment, allow yourself to notice all that you are generating within yourself and your communications to yourself: all that you feel, all that you sense, all that you are expressing.

This may be a helpful exercise to be incorporating in experimenting with moving your attention to you but also incorporating an active participation of generating your reality, and actually creating and actually manipulating your energy and allowing you to view that you actually do incorporate the ability to generate this.

PAMELA: May I ask a question about an element that has been very important throughout my life, beauty - beauty of space as opposed to beauty of personal individuals? I've been very interested in gardening and decorating, and even as a child - not a child, but as a young adult - I was always wanting to beautify the community in which I lived.

I recognize that part of this comes from an actual fear of ugliness. There's something about it that is very scary to me. Yet the creation of beauty seems so important. I feel that one of the main reasons I'm here is to create heaven on earth, which to me is to create a beautiful place to live, a beautiful environment. Could you comment on that?

ELIAS: I may express to you that you are expressing two different elements in this association. One is actually a natural allowance of a preference that you incorporate. The other is an expression of fear, which is an expression of duplicity. For you allow yourself to recognize a preference, but you also generate judgments that the preference is good and that any other expression is not.

PAMELA: Preference is good?

ELIAS: That YOUR preference...

PAMELA: Are you saying that's my judgment?

ELIAS: Yes. Your preference of generating beauty is good, and that you also generate the judgment that other expressions that you perceive to not be beautiful are bad. Which is significant, for quite literally beauty is in the eye of the beholder, for it is a matter of your individual perception.

PAMELA: Is there a reason that I would choose beauty versus ugliness as opposed to something else, or is it just a means of again identifying an area that I judge, that I have preferences in?

ELIAS: It is an opportunity for you to examine that preferences are preferences but do not necessarily necessitate a judgment, rather that you recognize that this is a preference that you incorporate, but it is not an absolute. It is a preference of your attention and your choice, but as I have stated, this is not an absolute. Therefore, it is not a truth. It does not hold as absolute with every individual, and this is the significance of recognizing the expression of duplicity.

There is no expression of wrong in generating your preferences. This is a natural expression of essence which you easily express, and as I have stated, quite naturally. But you also allow yourself the opportunity to recognize that the preference is relative to you. That does not discount your expression. It merely allows you the recognition of acceptance that other expressions may be viewed as beautiful which you may not necessarily perceive as such.

PAMELA: In regards to these last few years of trying to decide where I want to live and where I want to work, what I want to do, I have felt that they are somehow inextricably tied together. Is this just a part of my stifling of my creativity, or can you help me sort out the fact that I keep going back and forth between the two, like one is dependent on the other.

ELIAS: One is not dependent upon the other, but they do move quite in relation to each other. But I may express to you, my friend, quite genuinely - although many individuals do not recognize yet objectively this expression - but regardless of what you generate within your manifestations within your focus, you move in general directions in which all that you express is interconnected with each other. Therefore, your recognition that what you shall generate in relation to what you term to be a job and what you shall generate in dwelling are quite interconnected.

PAMELA: So the fact that I go back and forth between the two is merely a part of my not yet allowing myself to see how I create my reality, and to continue to put it out there, out beyond me, outside of me?

ELIAS: Yes, and once again generating the perception that you shall acquire either expression. You shall acquire the dwelling or you shall acquire the job; you shall not create it, you shall acquire it.

PAMELA: Yes. So it is the same thing.

I think I just have a final question on the fact that I have so... I mean, this has been a lifelong focus, this exploration. In spite of this shift, in spite of what seems to be going on around me, I seem to hold this veil down over my consciousness. Is it just a matter of having bad habits, bad consciousness habits? Or is it a fear that moves me beyond it?

ELIAS: (Gently) It is not a question of bad habits, my friend. It is a question of fear and the lack of trust of your ability to generate what you want rather than to acquire what you want.

As I have stated, in moving your attention to you, you may begin to reinforce an expression of trust within yourself in validating yourself - not in the future, not through acquisition, but in beginning NOW to listen to yourself, to pay attention to yourself, to recognize the influence of your beliefs, to recognize the moments in which you are projecting your attention either futurely or pastly, and to recognize how you are projecting your attention outside of yourself to situations or to other individuals, and how all of these projections limit your choices. For you do not pay attention to what YOU are generating. Therefore, you may begin NOW in moving your attention, and you shall view that your perception shall change.

PAMELA: I'm looking forward to that.

ELIAS: Perception is a powerful tool, and it is quite changeable [and] much different from beliefs, which individuals think they may change or eliminate. Beliefs do not change and they do not eliminate. But perception DOES change.

PAMELA: When you say beliefs do not change and cannot be eliminated, are there beliefs that we choose to believe in each manifestation, or are they the beliefs of what we've created, this whole physical experience?

ELIAS: You incorporate in each manifestation all of the belief systems, but you also choose certain beliefs to be aligning with and expressing more obviously. This is dependent upon your choice of experiences in relation to your individual intent. You do not incorporate every subject matter in one focus of attention. Therefore some aspects of beliefs you do not necessarily concern yourselves with, for you are not generating experiences that may be influenced by those certain aspects of beliefs.

Therefore, within any one manifestation you shall not necessarily be actually expressing every aspect of every belief system. But those that you do generate influences of are worthy of your attention, that you may allow yourself to examine and therefore notice how they influence your choices and your perception. Therefore once noticing the influence, you may also offer yourself choice, knowing that there are no absolutes and that you are not locked to a particular expression merely that you incorporate that belief and merely that that particular belief is expressed in any one particular focus.

PAMELA: Well, I will look forward to shifting my perception to the now and to examining my perceptions and allowing them to change.

ELIAS: Very well.

PAMELA: And I really thank you, Elias.

ELIAS: And you are quite welcome, my friend. I shall continue to offer encouraging and supportive energy to you in your experimentation.

PAMELA: Thank you! I love you!

ELIAS: Ha ha! I offer to you, as always, tremendous affection, and anticipate our next meeting. Until then, my friend, au revoir.

PAMELA: Au revoir, and namaste to you.

Elias departs at 3:07 PM.

©2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.