Noticing How You Create
"Noticing How You Create"
Saturday, February 2, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Letty (Castille)
Elias arrives at 1:31 PM. (Arrival time is 26 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
LETTY: Good morning, Elias! Wonderful to talk to you on three consecutive Saturdays! (Elias chuckles) Yes! Well, today's going to be all about me.
ELIAS: Very well.
LETTY: While I know you are very in touch with me 'cause I feel you, but I wanted to ask you for a validation of an expression that I created this week. It was extremely interesting to me because I actually noticed the moment of my creation, the creation of the expression. At the same time, I saw when I chose to no longer create it. In the meantime, I did choose a very uncomfortable situation for my body, and Cindel came over and helped me understand it. She said some things that I think are what I need validation from you about, and I believe that also my choosing to uncreate, well, not uncreate it but to create feeling better, was because I really understood, I accepted and hopefully assimilated.
As you know, I have an individual very close to my heart who I realize I have not agreed or accepted some of his choices. One of those choices is a relationship with another individual, and with this particular individual that he has a relationship with, well, it has been a little bit difficult for me to accept, and for the longest time I was paying attention to that individual instead of to myself. I believe that when Stella talked to me about her brother's similar creation, it kind of made a lot of sense. My impression was that she was correct, in the sense that I have this fear or feel threatened of aloneness by this individual taking my favorite person close to my heart away or... And that's part of the acceptance; it's not so much about them but about me.
ELIAS: Correct. And in your alteration of your creation, have you allowed yourself to pay attention in the moments to how you manipulated energy to alter your expression?
LETTY: Well, it was gonna be one of my questions to you later today, but you know, I'm starting to get hot flashes, going through the change early or whatever. I don't pay attention to that part of our society or what people talk about, but I did work very much on manipulating my energy inside without any particular thought other than just the energy, especially when I do get these hot flashes. Cindel did prepare me, in a sense, how you gave her so much information about it on how you can use that energy instead of complaining or feeling uncomfortably hot. I tried to use that energy also to ease my physical condition. Is that what you're asking?
LETTY: Yes, I did. And did I do it correctly?
ELIAS: You have accomplished, have you not?
ELIAS: Therefore, this is the point.
LETTY: To manipulate the energy?
ELIAS: Not whether you have created an action correctly or not, but whether you have accomplished an action that you wanted to create.
LETTY: And I did.
ELIAS: Correct. And the point is that you recognize how you accomplished, not merely what you accomplished.
LETTY: Which was a combination of the physical manipulation of my energy plus also bringing the issue back to myself...
LETTY: ...and that I'm okay because I take care of myself.
LETTY: Because here's another validation from you: over the holidays I created a little different physical expression along the same lines for the same reason, but for another individual.
LETTY: I'm getting so good at this, Elias! (Elias laughs) Sometimes I repeat, but okay!
My question I had for you a few weeks ago... I'm not sure, I think I still feel this way. I'm a little bit confused, maybe because I take stuff, even your information I read from transcripts or my own information, a little literal, but I feel I have set probabilities into motion creating a movement of a partner - one of my issues I've been going over a while - yet it has not entirely been inserted in my actual physical reality. But I also am confused, because I do know we also create in the moment, in the moment-by-moment reaction.
There are times when I do allow, I'm working on my allowance of my own natural energy, and that's when I feel really good about myself and that's what I'm doing, because I do believe that that's one of my wants. But my uncertainties or my fears keep wanting to perhaps let it be still Leezar but giving him time, and yet I understand I have choices. I don't feel like he's the only one, but that's why I do feel that I'm working on me this time, to build that relationship perhaps with myself first to understand.
So one of my fears, I think, of a relationship, of a partner, is also not getting into ... my fear is having conflict with that person, and that is what I believe keeps me away from actually creating one in the moment.
ELIAS: Correct. But this is also not inconsistent with your association of setting probabilities into motion, so to speak, for what you are generating in that action is an action of allowance of potentials. In this, you are creating a movement of openness in allowance in relation to these potentials.
Now; the actual creation and manifestation and choice is generated in the moment, but the direction is being set, so to speak, and this is the expression of setting probabilities into motion. Not that you are actually choosing specific probabilities in the moment and actually manifesting those probabilities, but you are generating a movement within your energy of openness, which is an expression of allowance, in relation to potentials.
This allows you more of an expression of freedom to be creating the manifestation in any particular moment, for it allows you to address to fear and discounting of yourself or doubt of your abilities.
LETTY: I do find myself with less of that recently, though.
LETTY: So then, I mean for the way I feel, does this kind of like ... well, I don't want to say the word "good" to you, Elias, but... (Laughing)
ELIAS: It matters not. I am understanding of your association with the term of "good."
LETTY: This is part of this continuous feeling of fear and the discounting and the doubt, because I have created and I recognize that I have created some wonderful moments again, and again they're moments, short-term expressions of connection objectively with Leezar over the phone, over this most fabulous gift I created for myself that he sent to me. That's when sometimes my doubt comes in, that I'm trying to allow the energy to be what it is in the sense that I am the one that's choosing not to be in that objective relationship. We have a different kind now. But are there any probabilities right now of being with him again? Or, I guess, am I fooling myself?
ELIAS: This is what I am expressing in relation to potentials, but this is expressed in an allowance of yourself, not in an allowance of the other individual for it is not concerning the other individual, and the choice is generated in the moment. What you reflect to yourself in the expression of the other individual validates to you your own movement, your own expression of allowance or of a lack of allowance in relation to you, not in relation to him, which is what I am continuously expressing to you, Castille.
You quite easily move your attention in relation to this information, and project your attention to Leezar and express to yourself the terms but in reverse of what I am expressing to you. You express the correct terms. You are expressing, "I am creating an allowance," but the allowance is being expressed in turning your attention to Leezar as though you are allowing Leezar to be expressing whatever he may be choosing, and this is not the point.
LETTY: I caught myself a couple of times very clearly on that one.
ELIAS: For what you may be concerning yourself with is what YOU are allowing YOU and what YOU are creating, turning your attention to yourself, for you are not allowing another individual any expression.
LETTY: Yes, because he cannot create MY reality.
ELIAS: Correct, and you may not create his reality. Therefore what shall you be allowing of him? You are allowing him to be creating his reality? No. Or to be expressing his choices? No. He shall be generating that action regardless of what you express.
But in allowing yourself, you generate the objective imagery. You generate the physical manifestation. Therefore the physical manifestation of Leezar that you interact with is what you create, and it is a reflection of what you are generating within yourself.
LETTY: I think I proved that to myself last night. He called and we had a very nice conversation catching up on what's happening with us. He made a comment or I got the impression he wanted to talk about us, but then he cut it short and said, "Another day." So actually, I did that.
LETTY: I understand why I'm doing that, too. I'm still working on myself and on my fears and my abilities.
LETTY: To be able to feel I can be in a relationship without having conflict or a conflict that I could work out and continue, so it's like giving myself time to practice...
LETTY: ...this allowance and this paying attention to myself that I recognize I am accomplishing. Although, I do catch myself discounting myself that I don't always do it as much as I would like to.
LETTY: I'm sounding like a broken record from your information, Elias! (Elias laughs) What a wonderful thing patience is, isn't it?
ELIAS: Quite! (Chuckles)
LETTY: Well, I have a few quick questions. I know Mary's not feeling good. Let's see. There's something that I've had for years and I always forget to ask you, because I haven't been able to figure it out. I get a gurgling in my knees. It's not a pain, and I usually create pains as a signal to pay attention, but the gurgling I found very fascinating because it's not always there and sometimes it's very pronounced.
ELIAS: And your impression?
LETTY: Well, I didn't have one until this moment, and it has to do with something about fun. (Elias chuckles)
ELIAS: And that you may generate interesting experiences without discomfort.
LETTY: Oh! And that's what I relate to fun, because I can relate even communication to myself through fun...
LETTY: ...instead of uncomfortableness.
LETTY: Oh! Thank you! I thought you were testing me through energy with that answer. (Elias laughs)
Now, is this also... I know this is an imagery. I continue to have problems in my house with plugged toilets. Sometimes I plug them, my guests plug them, but I know it's imagery to me because it's a little like a hassle, although I'm getting very good at unplugging them. But is the plugging kind of like an image to me that sometimes this is a moment to pay attention that I'm stuck with something in my mind?
LETTY: Marta and I have a very good friend in Mexico. We call him the maestro, teacher, professor, whatever, and he reads energy and he reads energy through water. I recognize that it's a belief system, but I believe that in his belief system he believes in his abilities. My impression of him has been that within belief systems he's very close to what's happening with me when he reads my energy when I'm feeling good, because I've been there at the moment.
When I went in at Christmas he gave me a crystal ball thing that between the ages of 42 and 49 is where I'm going to find my grounding, for example. And this year, within the next few years, there's going to be two men in my life and I'm going to have to choose. I don't want to discount him, but with my information now and my impressions are that he pretty much read close to where I am, but in the moment.
LETTY: Because when he said "two men," of course I had to say well Balii cannot be one of them, because I'm not interested romantically. But that has nothing to do with it; it has to do with the fact that there were two men at that moment that I was thinking about, Leezar and Balii.
ELIAS: And also in tapping into this first layer of consciousness in association with your movement and your probabilities in potentiality. What is being expressed is a viewing of these probabilities in what you may term to be outside of the terms of time, so to speak. For as you are aware, all probabilities are actualized. Therefore some individuals, in allowing themselves this type of action of tapping into another individual's energy and this first layer of consciousness, may suggest or express to you a recognition of what you perceive to be future events or actions, choices.
This is not to say that they are absolute, for you are aware that each choice is generated in the moment. But in this, this is also not to say that these individuals are not tapping into an accurate expression to a point. They are expressing to you the viewing of probabilities within the first layer of your expression of consciousness that are strongly expressed potentialities. Therefore, in a manner of speaking, many times you are generating a movement that is expressing a likelihood of that which is being expressed to you. Are you understanding?
LETTY: Yes. In believing him, I can say that it's going to happen to me, so therefore somehow I create it.
ELIAS: Yes, in one manner, but also in another manner you are already generating that potentiality of energy, and whether you create this or not in actual choices futurely is your choice. But in this moment, this is what the other individual is recognizing in the energy that you are generating now.
LETTY: That makes sense, okay.
Well, I have one fun question. This New Year's Eve quite a few of us, well, we played with belief systems - you know, all the things you do at midnight to bring yourself luck. One of the things that Cindel and I did is we broke a raw egg in a glass of water and it was supposed to tell us something. I wanted your opinion on that, because it was very interesting how different the eggs shaped in the water. Is this something that our own energy was doing within our own belief systems, the belief system that it was going to give us, I don't want to say exactly communication, but imagery?
ELIAS: Yes. And what is the imagery that you presented to yourself?
LETTY: Well, I saw a castle that reminded me of a home. You know, we call our homes our castles, and I found a lot of little bubbles around it that told me that my impression was they're friends, people around me, because I like surrounding myself with people.
ELIAS: And in this, are you recognizing that this is your energy expression and [that you are] merely manipulating your physical objective imagery to allow yourself a focal point to offer you an expression of information? You generate these types of actions with many different types of expressions. Individuals incorporate play with your ouija board or with cards or tea leaves or bones or stones or eggs. (Elias chuckles) It is merely a manner in which you allow yourselves to playfully create a physical expression of imagery that you may be incorporating an imaginative communication.
LETTY: It was fun. Okay, that kind of makes sense. So basically the belief system of it telling me my future for the year is really... Because I couldn't get anything. So it makes sense that I couldn't, because since I do create in the moment it couldn't tell me what was going to happen to me next December, in my timeframe.
LETTY: I had a couple of dreams that I'm going to do quickly, not that I remember what they were, exactly. But this was kind of an interesting one that I had. This was a triple dream in one evening. I find these fascinating, because they don't seem to relate to each other. Sometimes I have a difficult time correlating them, but they all happened within the same evening.
The first part of it, I was in Nogales where my parents live. I was very scared. Again, I was in bed and all of a sudden it got very, very dark, and the darkness I recognize as my lack of control that I think I want. I heard noises and so I hid under the cover, and again I tried to scream and I opened my mouth but no noise comes out. Then the second part of it, I woke up obviously scared and wasn't sure, and then I realized where I was and ended up sleeping right away.
Then it was a dream within a dream, and there was a sense of loss as if there was something missing, but I didn't know what it was. That dream was more of a feeling, but yet was my dream in the dream. Then in my dream I was still telling Cindel all about my dream, but in trying to analyze it or think about it I woke up again.
Then very interestingly I went into a completely different dream, where this one person that works for me... We have just a professional relationship, although I do feel a connection with him. I haven't figured that one out, but I know there's a connection with him from another focus or focuses where he and I had a romantic relationship. There was a knock on the door. They are agents that were looking for [inaudible], and friends were just showing up. And this is really weird - there was a camera being used for how babies were made. Then I'm in somebody else's home and I remember rain.
ELIAS: Now express to me your impressions.
LETTY: Well, I knew you were going to ask that, Elias! (Elias chuckles) I don't know, the first part, I understand it well. It has to do with control issues that I have and most of the ones that I have at work. My loss to me is where I feel sometimes... Because I go into my beliefs that I'm alone, just like I did this week, where I really, really felt alone. That had imagery that I'm reflecting and I recognize that it is a belief system, because I know I am where I want to be because I chose it and how I am right now because I chose it. I believe in "you are accomplishing perfectly by the moment." But there's still that conflict.
In the last one, it seems like a conflict to have romantic relationships with this person because he and I have had some work conflict, very related to work, so I think. The other part of the dream just doesn't make sense to me. Well, babies being made are belief system - not beliefs systems, but I don't know, Elias. I'm blabbering.
LETTY: Am I close?
ELIAS: In many of your expressions, yes. Now also look to your objective imagery in this time framework. Correlate that to the dream imagery, and what do you view?
LETTY: Well, that I'm involved in a lot of stuff. It's like that at work, I have a lot of friends that I...
ELIAS: Specifically concerning the infants, what do you view?
LETTY: Well, I love infants. Infants to me represent more genuine self. They represent, the birth represents newness, expressions, kind of like open for exploration because they're born into... They wanted to be born to explore.
ELIAS: Yes, but also in the emergence there is an association with discomfort or painfulness in the allowance of the emergence, and view your objective imagery in relation to this individual that you express as a coworker.
LETTY: Well, it's been our... We have changed. I have altered. I have altered my perception of him, and in that I have paid attention more to myself than when we first had tremendous problems because I was focusing on his actions.
ELIAS: Correct, but you are generating imagery within your dream state in mirror of the waking objective imagery, recognizing of the emergence and more of an expression of allowance of yourself in relation to this individual, but also recognizing that there has been an incorporation of discomfort in the interaction. You choose the imagery of the infants as the expression of recognizing your own allowance of emergence and continuing to move your attention to you, which generates less discomfort and more appreciation concerning your interaction with the other individual.
LETTY: Oh, and that's exactly what I dreamt last night when I was squeezing out whiteheads on somebody's chest. It was a long dream and I thought I remembered it, but the only thing when I actually woke up was... I love to squeeze out blackheads and whiteheads on people. I know people think it's gross, but I like it, and I was doing this. I was doing this regular normal-sized one, and then all of a sudden there was this huge one, and people were getting grossed out. But at that moment, what I was doing was kind of like squeezing out part of me, of myself, that I don't know if they were exactly belief systems, but they were more... When you said the word "emergence," that's exactly what I thought at the moment.
LETTY: Oh! And I am practicing objectively when I sit... I don't meditate that much anymore, but I can sit and relax and I love the exercise you gave Gregoria on how to relax. I used that to help me go into an allowance mode, where I don't think of anything. I just try to allow my energy to be.
ELIAS: I am understanding. And in this, you also incorporate the imagery of rain to be symbolically expressing to yourself remembering gray.
LETTY: Remembering what?
ELIAS: Gray, and therefore not incorporating the association of absolutes.
LETTY: Okay, not black or white.
LETTY: Well, Elias, this is when your validation... I do feel accomplishing and I feel good about it, but it's always so neat when you validate it. (Elias laughs)
There's one more dream, and I think I was feeling it at the time my friend Raoul was dating. Now, Raoul, I had a relationship with and I understand my connection with him, but he was dating somebody that he visited weekly that I think lived with me or had connections with me, and somehow Stella was like her secretary and would get them dates, I mean tickets, for the theater every week. This girlfriend, I was very not approving of this girl telling everybody, "Oh, whoever wants tickets, Stella will get them for you." I was very upset about that, and I believe that has to do with acceptance and controlling and not allowing myself to pay attention to myself but on the outside.
But then this is where it got interesting, because it blended into all of a sudden my friend Alva was running home with her kids and there was a dog, and I was with her and we were in her house and there was this... I'm scared of dogs, these creatures. I like them but I'm still scared of them. She had a dog and tried to tell me how nice he was and he doesn't bite, but then all of a sudden we look out this window and there was a parade of these other dogs. These other dogs - regular dogs scare me a little bit - but then the last dog was a mechanical dog and had a long tube from the head to the body but he was mechanical, and I got very scared. I took a machete, which is a pretty powerful tool, and I slashed that tube, kind of like killing it. Again, I think my imagery was that I still sometimes try to kill or destroy belief systems.
ELIAS: Partially, but you are also presenting to yourself imagery concerning fear and your attempt to be eliminating fear. The imagery that you present to yourself concerning the other individual is quite parallel to what you are presenting to yourself objectively in imagery concerning Leezar and his choice to be interactive with another individual. In this, you create dream imagery that mirrors what you are generating objectively but that offers you information concerning your movement, that your expressions concerning Leezar and what you generate in an expression of jealousy is an emotion which is communicating to you your fear and your expression of threat within yourself in relation to Leezar's choices. Not that Leezar is threatening or that this other individual is threatening, but that YOU are generating that threat within you in not turning your attention to you and not allowing your choices, and therefore it is expressed objectively in the signal of jealousy which incorporates the message or the communication of this threat that you are generating within yourself.
Therefore, you create very similar imagery within your dream, but thusly you also incorporate subsequent imagery as the dogs which are the symbols of your expression of fear, and you direct your attention specifically to the most intense expression of fear in relation to what you view as the mechanical dog to offer yourself information concerning the lack of reality that another manifestation is generating your threat, which it is not.
LETTY: That gives me lots to think about. (Elias chuckles) Without discounting myself, it's a matter of continuing practicing my allowance.
LETTY: Because when I do that I actually do feel physically, energy-wise, freedom at that moment.
ELIAS: Yes, and this is the point, Castille. (Pause)
LETTY: I thank you so much for everything.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, Castille. And I shall challenge you to be engaging Cindel concerning your recognition of the HOW in relation to paying attention and turning your energy expression in relation to the physical manifestation that you generated recently, for I have also challenged Cindel in like manner to be sharing the objective communication of the HOW.
LETTY: Okay. We will work on it.
ELIAS: Very well!
LETTY: Good day to you!
ELIAS: And to you also, my friend. As always, I extend my tremendous affection to you and continue to be encouraging of you. I anticipate our next meeting.
LETTY: Me, too.
ELIAS: To you this day my friend, au revoir.
LETTY: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 2:21 PM.
©2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.