Tuesday, January 8, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Julia (Moorah)
Elias arrives at 11:51 AM. (Arrival time is 20 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

JULIA: Hello, Elias!

ELIAS: We meet again!

JULIA: Yes, I’ve been anticipating our next meeting, which is now.

ELIAS: And how shall we proceed?

JULIA: I have lots of questions to ask. I think I know what’s going on, but I’m not quite sure.

ELIAS: Very well.

JULIA: Recently I’ve created this conflict with myself on the track team and I really don’t think I want to participate in it anymore, but it seems to be kind of affecting my status on the Science Olympiad team, I think, with them maybe not putting me on the science team. I really have no idea why I’m creating that.

ELIAS: And have you offered yourself any impression?

JULIA: I felt that maybe because I don’t want to be on the track team that it has something to do with me not wanting to be in something very organized. I don’t like how they run it. But then on the other hand, Science Olympiad is also an organized thing. I don’t feel like it’s quite as organized, but I really do love it.

ELIAS: And you are questioning what you are presenting to yourself?

JULIA: Yes. I’ve had this conflict for quite a while now but I hadn’t really noticed it, and I think this conflict with myself has been affecting of other things.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

Now; in both of these situations allow yourself to pay attention to what you individually are addressing to within yourself, for in this there are several actions occurring simultaneously. Both of these situations involve what you term as teams or groups of individuals. Both also incorporate elements of comparison and competition. Both also express specific expectations and rules, and you are incorporating conflict in association with these expressed guidelines which form the unit of the group and the group’s movement.

In this, as we have spoken previously, you are quite moving into a realization objectively of directing yourself and not allowing the expressions of other individuals to be dictating to you what your choices shall be. In this, you recognize your preference in specific actions in relation to certain subject matters - physical activity and intellectual stimulation. But within self, you wish not to be compliant with the specifics of the rules and the guidelines that incorporate these aspects of comparison and competition, for you are moving into an expression of recognizing that these types of expressions are unnecessary and do not define your ability or your worth concerning your ability to be accomplishing these particular activities. Are you understanding?

JULIA: So it’s realizing that you don’t need the rules all the time?

ELIAS: Correct, and therefore what you are expressing to yourself is a redefining of your choices and how you shall express your choices; that you may choose to be expressing certain activities, but this is not to say that you must be or need be compliant with groups of individuals that generate certain expressions that you view to be unnecessary. In both groups these expressions of comparison and competition are...

JULIA: But are they on different levels?

ELIAS: Yes, in a manner of speaking they incorporate different actions, but the base expression is very similar.

JULIA: Sometimes I do want to be in track, I just don’t like how they have the schedule set up and stuff like that. So is that something like I’m still debating the rules or trying to make a decision or something like that?

ELIAS: This is precisely what I am expressing to you, that you do enjoy this type of activity and you do enjoy or prefer to be incorporating the intellectual stimulus that is expressed in relation to the science, but you may be expressing those types of activities and not necessarily incorporate those activities in relation to the specific groups.

JULIA: Oh, so I can do that by myself!

ELIAS: Correct. It is not a situation in which you are expressing to yourself that you do not enjoy these types of activities or that you do not wish to engage these activities and that you wish not to choose these types of actions. For you do incorporate an enjoyment in these activities, but you do not necessarily enjoy the compliance with the group.

JULIA: Why did I create in the beginning of the year that the coaches on the science team told me that they weren’t sure that they wanted to put me on the team? Was that just me trying to tell myself that I don’t need the organization to do what I want?

ELIAS: Yes. Offering yourself an example - offering yourself two examples - that you may reinforce to yourself that regardless of whether you incorporate being accepted to a team or not, you continue to express the ability to generate these types of activities with or without the organization, therefore offering yourself the realization of your own freedom, that you do not NEED to be incorporating these teams to generate this type of activity if you so choose.

JULIA: And I kinda created that door of not being on the team so I might still choose, like I can choose to not participate in any organization of the team, of any team.

ELIAS: Correct, and let me express to you, my friend, this also moves quite in association with your alignment. For in this, individuals that align with this essence family of Milumet move in a natural expression of not incorporating compliance with organizations and move much more naturally in an individual expression and direction. You offer yourself much more freedom and natural movement in the time frameworks in which you allow yourself to be directing of yourself and moving individually, rather than affiliating yourself with establishments or organizations.

JULIA: But I can still choose to be on these teams and not have the rules or organization affect me?

ELIAS: Correct. Yes, you may.

JULIA: That kind of seems like ... it seems possible, but the point of the teams is organization, right?

ELIAS: But in this, you are redefining within yourself your translation of the action, or the point, of the team. In actuality, the movement of the team is merely the presentment of the opportunity to be sharing experience with other individuals objectively, and does not necessarily incorporate the expression of competition or comparison, but merely a movement of sharing specific expressions with other individuals, therefore lending energy to each other to accomplish a specific manifestation.

JULIA: Has this conflict, or not conflict but just me realizing that I don’t need organization and stuff like that, has that been affecting how I feel in school, in other interactions with people and stuff like that?

ELIAS: I am understanding, for as I have expressed to you, it is not merely an expression of realization objectively concerning organizations, but it is a movement that you are incorporating into more of an objective awareness and expression of directing yourself and not allowing other individuals or situations or circumstances or rules to dictate to you what your choices shall or shall not be.

JULIA: That makes sense, because lately I’ve been kinda just making decisions, not really paying attention to what other peoples’ wants or needs are.

ELIAS: Correct! Offering yourself an allowance to move into directing of your choices and allowing yourself to be listening to your voice in your choices, which, my friend, is quite the point! (Chuckles)

JULIA: Oh, and it’s been interesting because lately in my dreams I’ve been dreaming about situations of the day or choices I’ve made in the day and what would have happened if I decided differently or did something different, kind of looking at my choices.

ELIAS: And exploring different probabilities.

JULIA: Yeah, and I like it a lot, and I think it would be really cool if I could just explore the different probabilities consciously, not subconsciously in sleeping.

ELIAS: I am understanding. And if you are so choosing, as you continue to pay attention to yourself and you continue to allow within yourself your own natural expression, you may incorporate this action of viewing different probabilities within your waking state.

JULIA: The last time we talked about my emotions of anger and sadness. I forgot, I was either sad because I couldn’t see the choices or I was angry. But I don’t really feel that I’m too sad or angry anymore. Am I starting to resolve that in myself?

ELIAS: You are allowing yourself to recognize that within certain expressions, especially in association with other individuals, you are not powerless and you do incorporate choices and allowing yourself that recognition of your choices. Therefore you do not incorporate this emotional communication of anger, for anger is an expression which is generated in moments in which individuals do not view any of their choices and are expressing a helplessness within self in their inability to view their choices. In this, you are allowing yourself more and more of an awareness of the choices that you DO hold, and therefore are not generating that emotional communication of anger.

The sadness that you incorporated, as you are aware, was generated through your expression of being victim, which in recognizing choices you also express an empowerment of yourself, and therefore you do not generate the sadness, either.

JULIA: So I don’t feel that I’m a victim of myself anymore?

ELIAS: You are quite moving in this direction!

Now; I may express to you, as you are aware, you continue to incorporate moments in which you do express this to yourself, but they are momentary.

JULIA: Like I’ll feel momentary sadness or anger, and I’ll just change my mind about it. (Elias chuckles) I don’t really know how to explain it, but it’s kind of like ’I don’t have to worry about that.’

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! And I may express to you also a tremendous acknowledgment of your movement, for you are also allowing yourself to hold your attention in the now much more. This also is a tremendous contributant to your allowance of yourself to not be expressing this anger or sadness.

JULIA: Really? Wow! (Elias chuckles)

Well, I think it was a couple days ago or so that I ran into the mailbox with the car. I think you talked to my dad about what his participation in that was. (Both laugh) I think the reason why I created that or chose it was because at the time I think I was frustrated at not seeing all my choices or something, so out of frustration or anger I didn’t see the mailbox. I hit it.

ELIAS: Now; I shall also express to you that you created this action as an expression of experimenting, experimenting with your expressions - recognizing your frustration, allowing yourself to express that frustration and manifest that expression outwardly - and experimenting in trust - how much you may trust your expression, and your allowance of yourself to express yourself regardless of how it is manifest, and how much you may trust how you shall create the response of other individuals. Are you understanding your experimentation in this action?

JULIA: I was experimenting with how other people would react or...?

ELIAS: Yes.

JULIA: Like my dad?

ELIAS: Yes.

JULIA: And he reacted with whatever he created, his own reason, right?

ELIAS: Correct.

JULIA: And I just wanted to see how he would react to it?

ELIAS: This has been an experiment in exploring your expressions and your freedom to allow yourself to express, regardless of what you anticipate in response of another individual. In a manner of speaking, your participation in this action was testing, testing your own expression and allowing yourself to test how you are able to create the response of another individual which shall not appear to you to be threatening.

JULIA: That’s interesting, because, yes, that’s kinda what happened. But then doesn’t my dad decide how to react, so I was just experimenting with how he was going to react and how I was not going to really be that concerned?

ELIAS: Correct, and not allow an expression of threateningness, and allow yourself to be comfortable.

JULIA: On our last session we discussed the individual that I created the relationship with in order to explore myself. I’ve noticed that for a time period I did not really want to see him or something like that. Was that me telling myself that I was done exploring myself? Which doesn’t make sense, because I feel that I’m always exploring myself, so I really don’t know why that was.

ELIAS: You are correct. You are continuously exploring self, and your choice to be non-interactive with this individual is not suggestive that you are discontinuing your exploration of yourself, but rather that you are turning your attention.

JULIA: To me, instead of...?

ELIAS: Yes, and not incorporating the action of paying attention to the reflection for a time framework, and occupying your attention more individually with yourself.

JULIA: That was a while ago, and now this individual is around again and I feel that I’m just more wanting to be with him and just hang out. Is it that I’ve finally realized that I directed my concern toward myself, and now that I’m looking in on myself I can still make my own decisions without him affecting me?

ELIAS: Correct, and allowing yourself to relax and to not express expectations concerning the other individual and how they must express themselves in relation to you, and not projecting expectations upon yourself but rather relaxing in your own knowing of yourself and trusting your own expression, which creates an automatic by-product of acceptance of the other individual. And that acceptance of yourself and of the other individual creates much more of an ease in your interaction, does it not?

JULIA: Yes, it does. A lot of other individuals do not accept this one individual because of his ... I don’t know, he’s just different, I guess - from the norm, that is.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) And this also reflects your desire to be individually expressing yourself and not necessarily be compliant with the masses. And are you not expressing much more of a comfort in that expression than you have previously?

JULIA: Yes, I have. (Elias chuckles) Sometimes this is a very comfortable relationship.

ELIAS: And that is generated through the expression of comfort within yourself.

JULIA: Now, is this the same for the other individual? It’s always different, it’s never the same, right?

ELIAS: It may be similar but not the same, for each individual incorporates their own unique expressions and perception, and therefore each individual’s movement is different.

JULIA: A while ago I used to feel very irritated and upset. Would those emotions, did they go along with the anger and sadness that I felt?

ELIAS: Yes.

JULIA: Because I feel that I haven’t had any of those emotions lately. If I do, they’re only momentary.

ELIAS: Ha ha! I am aware!

JULIA: Lately I’ve been feeling very, very calm and relaxed and just kind of open.

ELIAS: And what a wondrous freedom you are offering to yourself! Ha ha!

JULIA: It feels really good. I was wondering, like it’s all my own creation that I’m feeling this way, but I just recently came off winter break. Did that have anything to do with it, or is that how I was layering things with familiar and unfamiliar stuff?

ELIAS: You have incorporated this time framework to allow yourself to be noticing more and to be paying attention to yourself and your choices without incorporating as much distraction, and therefore this has been a beneficial offering to yourself in time framework. But the time is not what has generated these movements or what you view to be these changes. It is merely your manipulation of that time that has been beneficial to you.

JULIA: Okay, because I’m kinda worried that as school starts getting going again that I’m going to lose this calmness and relaxed feeling.

ELIAS: Not necessarily. This, my friend, is a choice also. As you continue to be paying attention to self and noticing - which is our greatest word! - (chuckles) as you allow yourself to continue to notice your expressions and your movement, you also may allow yourself to choose in the now to continue this expression of calm and acceptance within yourself.

You have offered yourself a time framework of less distraction to practice, and you have allowed yourself enough familiarity in this practicing that now you may incorporate the reestablishment, so to speak, of your outward expressions, which are in actuality quite natural in association with your orientation. In this, you may be allowing yourself to realize that you may engage both actions of paying attention to yourself and also expressing outwardly.

JULIA: I feel sometimes that you can only do one at a time.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

JULIA: I’d like to overcome that, because I know it’s possible.

ELIAS: You are quite correct, and now you shall allow yourself to practice with this action, recognizing that you have accomplished turning your attention to self and now you may allow yourself your natural movement in outward expression. For this is a natural expression that you incorporate in association with your orientation, but this is not to say that you may not continue to pay attention to self as you express outwardly.

JULIA: So I have to overcome that?

ELIAS: Merely practice. It is not a matter of overcoming but merely allowing yourself to practice incorporating both actions objectively and simultaneously, and you may discover that this shall become quite familiar to you and shall become much more easily expressed.

JULIA: So when I pay more attention to myself, I’m going to have this sort of knowledge, right, or is this going to be an emotion?

ELIAS: You shall continue to offer yourself information concerning yourself and your choices, your direction, your movement and your preferences as you continue to pay attention to self, and in that, you are correct, you offer yourself what you define as knowledge of self and of your reality - of your world, so to speak. For it is all of your creating, anyway. (Chuckles)

JULIA: With that knowledge I’m just going to be creating more of what I want?

ELIAS: Yes.

JULIA: But in a sense, if I wasn’t as aware, wouldn’t I still be creating what I want and I would just wouldn’t be aware of it?

ELIAS: You create what you desire. This is not always translated into an objective want, for many times you create actions or manifestations or expressions within your focus that you express to yourself you do not want. In this, you are not allowing yourself to pay attention to your choices and your direction and what is the expression of your desire and allowing yourself to translate that desire into an objective awareness, which becomes the want.

Many times individuals express a thought concerning what they want, and as I have expressed many times, this type of action without the recognition of your individual particular direction may merely be what you THINK you want and not necessarily what you actually desire.

JULIA: So are you saying that desires and wants are different?

ELIAS: At times, yes, they may be the same or quite similar in the time frameworks in which you are allowing your objective awareness within your thoughts to be accurately translating your desire. A want is an expression which is generated through thought. It is an objective translation.

Now; that translation may or may not be accurate in association with your desire; therefore they are not always the same.

JULIA: A while ago, me and my dad were at the dinner table and I was passing some sauce to him and he didn’t grab it and it ended up breaking a plate. (Elias smiles broadly, and looks very amused) Me and my dad both find it very interesting that we created that. I think it has to do with me telling him something that is going to maybe change one of his beliefs or something like that, because it broke the plate.

ELIAS: Not necessarily change a belief, but challenge.

JULIA: Is that why he created it also? What was his participation in that? He would like to know. (Elias chuckles) I find it very interesting and so does he.

ELIAS: His expression of participation in this action has been to be recognizing the expression of ’broken’ and his association with the solidness of that expression, the absoluteness that there are certain expressions that he defines as broken which he challenges himself with, as he has engaged conversation with myself and recognizes theoretically in concept that there are no expressions of broken. This is a challenging concept within his beliefs.

JULIA: And why did I participate in that? Was I trying to tell myself something or...?

ELIAS: Merely to be offering a participation in generating an expression that appears to be broken in manifestation but is merely an expression of challenge offered to him, and once again allowing yourself to be expressing you without restriction and experimenting with your ability to be accomplishing that and trusting it in similar manner to the postbox.

JULIA: Oh, okay. Do I experiment a lot with stuff? (Elias laughs)
Yeah? (Laughing)

ELIAS: Yes!

JULIA: I do? (Elias continues laughing) I don’t realize it all of the time, or do I?

ELIAS: I may express to you that you recognize this action more often than you allow yourself an objective remembrance of. For in the moment you are noticing and recognizing, but once you have accomplished the experimentation it is no longer necessary for you to be objectively paying attention and, in a manner of speaking, dwelling upon the action of the experiment.

JULIA: So I do experiment a lot. (Elias laughs in acknowledgment) Cool! I guess I must like experimenting then, or am I just trying to ... is that part of my focus, to experiment?

ELIAS: It is a preference in movement that you incorporate as a method that you view to be efficient. (Both laugh)

JULIA: I didn’t realize that I experimented that much! (Elias chuckles) Maybe I’ll be more noticing of it now.

ELIAS: Ah!

JULIA: Yesterday I picked up the phone, I answered it, and nobody was there. Was I playing with myself, maybe?

ELIAS: Offering yourself an opportunity to be noticing, incorporating this action quite specifically as a metaphor, so to speak, to be paying attention to you and the signals that you express to yourself.

JULIA: Right, after that I noticed that my phone was blue and I was like, ’Oh wait, that means communication.’

ELIAS: Correct!

JULIA: Yes?

ELIAS: Yes!

JULIA: I noticed that and I never really noticed it before. (Elias chuckles) So that’s kinda cool that my phone is blue and I talk on it to people.

I’ve also put the shiny part of CDs on my ceiling so that I can see the reflection of myself. It’s kinda interesting, because I put them right above my bed and when I’m lying down I tend to think more and kind of concentrate more. Is that just an extension of me reflecting on myself and my day and stuff like that?

ELIAS: Yes.

JULIA: Cool!

ELIAS: Quite a creative expression in offering yourself an outward manifestation of reflection.

JULIA: I think maybe the next thing that I’m going to be talking about is another experiment of mine. I used to be forgetting a lotta, lotta stuff, and I always kind of liked forgetting it because I liked the shock of remembering that I forgot it. Was that just me experimenting again?

ELIAS: Yes, in a playful manner. (Chuckles)

JULIA: I was just experimenting with the feeling, or was it...?

ELIAS: The expression of surprise.

JULIA: When I experiment, do I mostly experiment with different emotions?

ELIAS: At times, but at times not. At times you are generating experimentation with actions and responses. Many times your expressions of experimenting move in association with the belief of cause and effect, and allowing yourself in a manner of speaking to disprove this belief and to express to yourself the validation that in actuality this is a belief and that you may choose to manifest expressions that do not move in association with the belief of cause and effect, therefore expressing to yourself the validation that this is not an absolute.

JULIA: When you say absolute, does that mean the only thing that is possible?

ELIAS: Correct.

JULIA: Like a lot of the concepts that most people believe, or the masses believe, that they’re absolute, right?

ELIAS: Correct.

JULIA: And that’s what makes it not hard but unacceptable to break out of them or not comply with them?

ELIAS: Correct.

JULIA: Well, I think that’s about it.

ELIAS: Very well.

JULIA: I had a good time today, and it’s very interesting because a lot of the things that have been happening have been rather good. I don’t know, I just have a good feeling (Elias is chuckling) and I’m just glad that I’m recognizing it.

ELIAS: Ah! And I am encouraging of you to continue in this expression that you are generating. Continue to practice, my friend, in trusting of yourself, and I shall be offering my expression of energy to you also in encouragement.

JULIA: Thank you. Oh wait, I do have one question. Subjectively, do I talk to you often?

ELIAS: Yes.

JULIA: Really? That’s cool, because I was wondering about that.

ELIAS: And I shall offer to you in moments that you are expressing your calm and your acceptance expressions of my energy that you may recognize objectively in reinforcement. Ha ha ha!

JULIA: But it’s still my energy also, right?

ELIAS: Yes!

JULIA: Oh, okay! Good!

ELIAS: I express to you as always, my friend, great affection...

JULIA: Thank you.

ELIAS: ...and tremendous acknowledgment. I shall be anticipating our next meeting.

JULIA: Me, too.

ELIAS: To you this day in lovingness, au revoir.

JULIA: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 12:49 PM.

(1) See transcript of , 12/31/01.

(2) Julia is common orientation.

©2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

---

Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.