A Relationship with Alcohol
"A Relationship with Alcohol"
Sunday, April 1, 2001 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and a new participant, Gillian (Ari)
Elias arrives at 10:19 AM. (Arrival time is 21 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
GILLIAN: Good afternoon, Elias. I am glad to be speaking to you. I'm Gillian.
ELIAS: Welcome! (Smiling)
GILLIAN: Thank you so much. I believe you already made contact with me. (Elias chuckles) Am I correct, in the little tricks you played last Sunday night?
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct, as an introduction to our objective meeting.
GILLIAN: Yes, I did get a bit of laughter out of that. Thank you so much for it!
ELIAS: Ha ha! You are quite welcome, my friend!
GILLIAN: And was that you in my dream? There was a tall man with blue eyes and blue jeans.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
GILLIAN: Thank you. And you did talk to me in the morning to confirm, I believe.
GILLIAN: I am very pleased with that, because I was at least hearing and being aware.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) And I shall be acknowledging of you that you are not discounting of these experiences, and welcoming of this energy exchange.
GILLIAN: Okay, thank you so much. I guess I'll get straight to the point of the issue that is causing ... or I'm causing quite a lot of conflict with myself over it.
I was wondering if you could tell me something about my relationship with alcohol. I call it "relationship" because it's been part of my life for so long - sometimes a friend, sometimes a foe. Now I really wish to experience my life without the use of alcohol. It's causing me a lot of problems. When I don't drink I get agitated, and when I do drink I get agitated later. If you could shed some light in this direction, I would really appreciate it.
ELIAS: Very well. First of all, offer to me your impression as to what you are expressing to yourself.
GILLIAN: I'm expressing to myself that I am changing my beliefs that it is bad for me, but at the same time I'm also recognizing I'm blocking out all my evening activities with the use of alcohol, any exercises or clarity exercises I wish to do in the evening or reading. I suppose also I'm saying to myself, "You haven't accepted yourself completely yet; this is why you are struggling and fighting against mass beliefs at the same time."
ELIAS: Correct. Very well, shall we explore this creation that you have engaged, and discuss the beliefs that are influencing of this situation?
Now; in this, as you are aware, there are mass beliefs associated with the consumption of this substance in certain circumstances. Your societies accept this type of action in certain settings, so to speak, in social engagements and also in moderation. But in other types of expressions, your societies express en masse a lack of acceptance in relation to this participation or, as you have termed it, this type of relationship, which I shall be acknowledging of you in your terminology. For in actuality, you are correct, you have created a type of relationship with this activity - not with the substance itself, but with the involvement of the activity in its engagement. And what you have created is a relationship with an aspect of yourself; but in that creation, you view this type of relationship to be unhealthy.
You also influence your perception concerning this subject matter with the belief that this engagement of this activity creates an automatic lack of choices, and therefore you assess that you block yourself in engaging the types of activities that you wish to be engaging. But, as you are aware, you continue to be creating the activity that you are creating, and you do not motivate yourself to move in other expressions.
Now; let me express to you my friend, first of all, your choice is not wrong and is not bad. It is merely the influence of your beliefs that express to you that you are creating an activity that is unacceptable. Simultaneously, in widening your awareness and offering yourself information, you are questioning the validity of those beliefs. You are questioning the influence of those beliefs, and are challenging yourself in your own movement in the attempt to be accepting of those beliefs and therefore accepting of yourself.
In this present time framework - and in previous time frameworks - you have created a false sense of acceptance, expressing to yourself objectively that this is merely a choice and that you are creating no wrong doing in this choice; but underlyingly, and also partially known within your objective awareness, you express to yourself a discounting of yourself, and you create this association of trapping yourself, holding yourself in isolation, and THIS is the influence of your perception that we may be examining together.
Now; I am understanding that within physical focus, ideas that are contrary to mass belief systems may be quite easily expressed, but expressing in ideas a contrary movement to mass belief systems does not necessarily create an actual movement of your perception into a genuine expression of acceptance. It merely camouflages your genuine alignment with certain beliefs, and in that action, you discount yourself and you deny your choices.
Now; let me inquire to you what your impression is concerning your fear of movement in relation to this particular activity, for there is a genuine expression of fear that you are creating in relation to this situation. May you identify that fear?
GILLIAN: I'm not very clear. I know that there is a fear, possibly a fear of looking or knowing myself, even though I desire this so much, to know myself inside. It is definitely time related. It is definitely an evening-time fear, and something related to an aloneness, possibly.
ELIAS: Very well. Let me express to you that you are partially correct.
In this, you choose to be not engaging this type of activity within certain time frameworks, for you associate those time frameworks within your morning and your day as being the hours of productivity, and within those hours, you hold an expectation of yourself that you may be expressing yourself in a certain manner and be interactive in a certain manner to appear acceptable in relation to other individuals. Within the evening hours of your day, so to speak, there is more of an acceptability in engaging this type of activity.
You also do hold a genuine desire to be creating intimate time with yourself that you shall allow yourself more of a familiarity with your own energy and your own expressions, and creating an intimacy with yourself, but you do not create this action within those time frameworks, those hours of your day that you create what you term to be an aloneness. This also is motivated by the expression of fear that you have created in relation to other individuals, and your fear of how other individuals shall perceive you.
Therefore, you create this movement in a type of circle, in which you create the camouflage or facade within certain hours of your day of acceptability. You project a type of energy outward that you perceive shall be perceived by other individuals as acceptable, and therefore you shall receive what you are not offering to yourself in acceptance. Within the evening hours, the fear becomes expressed more strongly for the camouflage wears thin, and as the camouflage becomes less thick and more transparent, the fear is expressed more strongly.
Now; as that movement begins, you choose to be isolating of yourself in the expression of fear that you shall be exposed and viewed by other individuals in genuineness.
Now; let me express to you, my friend, in actuality, in genuineness, the fear is also camouflaged in its expression in relation to society and other individuals. For in actuality, the fear is not that you shall be exposed to other individuals, but that you shall be exposed to yourself. Although you hold a genuine desire to be creating an intimate relationship with yourself, you also hold a strong association objectively that some of your experiences and your choices within your focus have been unacceptable, and therefore this creates an intense block of your movement in allowing yourself to be creating this intimate relationship with yourself, for you do not allow yourself to move beyond or around this particular mountain that you have created within yourself, concerning your perception of you, and that you are not the wondrous and acceptable lovable individual that you wish to be.
The mountain that you have created is quite solid, and it is an expression that you offer to yourself in unacceptability. Therefore, rather than allowing yourself to be genuinely viewing yourself and moving into the expression of intimacy with yourself, you create an action which you believe shall block and eliminate your ability and your attempt to be viewing yourself.
Now; in this, the substance is not what creates the lack of your movement. The substance itself is not what is affecting of you. For I may express to you, the affectingness of the substance is created by you.
GILLIAN: Yes, I know you've said this many times before to people who've asked you about substance use. I agree that it's my perception, and I've been trying to shift that perception. I can't move around the mountain, Elias.
ELIAS: Let me express to you my friend, the attempt to be shifting or moving your perception in relation to the substance is for the most part, in this layer of your expression presently, futile. For this type of attempt is movement in the direction of attempting to change a thing that you believe to be quite solid.
Let me express to you a small analogy. The attempt to be changing your perception concerning the substance may be likened to your attempt to alter your perception that a building is not a building. I may express to you my friend, within this present now you may stand before a building and concentrate objectively upon the structure of that building, and I may genuinely offer to you that you shall not view the building as a lake. You shall continue to view it as a building. This is the strength of your perception.
In like manner, attempting to alter your perception concerning the affectingness of this substance in this present now is futile, for your perception is held quite strongly. Therefore, what you may be creating in success is not necessarily the alteration of your perception concerning the affectingness of this particular substance, but turning your attention. And as you turn your attention to you and allow yourself to begin listening to yourself, recognizing this mountain that you have created, and NOT attempting to eliminate the mountain but viewing the mountain as an aspect of your own creations and therefore allowing yourself to begin movement in acceptance of this mountain, you shall be greatly influencing of your perception, and in THAT affectingness of your perception, you shall also begin altering your expressions, your behaviors, and your engagements with activities.
Now; let me express to you, in difference to your mass beliefs, I shall not offer to you the expression that you need be or must disengage this activity and this engagement or relationship, so to speak, with this particular substance. This is not the point. This is merely the objective imagery. It matters not whether you choose to be continuing in that activity or not. I am quite recognizing that there are aspects of engaging this type of activity which within physical focus are quite pleasurable, and I may also express to you that a natural movement of essence is to be creating pleasure in ANY form.
Therefore, the engagement of the outward imagery and activity is neither right nor wrong, and is not the point. You may continue to be consuming this substance and engaging a pleasurable experience, and ALSO allow yourself to be moving into an engagement of this mountain, and therefore create the relationship with self in intimacy. It is not a situation of either/or.
Let me also express to you, in relation to this mountain, allow yourself an exercise in which you may be present in the now within your awareness, holding your attention upon self, and creating a visualization of this mountain. As you create this visualization of this mountain, allow yourself a calmness as you view in your visualization this mountain.
Now; let me express to you, I hold an awareness that initially your viewing of this mountain may not necessarily be what you may term to be beautiful. You may initially create a mountain which spews molten lava, and holds the blackness and darkness of heavy energy (humorously). But as you view this mountain that you have created, allow yourself in that calm to transform your visualization, and create a majestic mountain of blues and purples and wondrous cool snow atop its peaks. And as you begin transforming your mountain into this majestic wonder, you may allow yourself, in this exercise, to approach this mountain. As you approach this mountain, viewing it to be a majestic wonder, allow yourself to engage a calm appreciation of it.
Once you have allowed yourself this exercise and this visualization, allow yourself the objective recognition that this mountain is you. You need not eliminate this mountain; you need not transform it into a pebble. But you may be accepting of this creation as a powerful expression of yourself.
Let me express to you my friend, within your physical focus and manifestation, you have created powerful expressions of your energy. You may view your experiences and your creations as negative at times, and as blocking or as expressions that do not allow for your movement; but in relation to your alteration of your viewing of this mountain, allow yourself a parallel recognition of the genuine strength of all that you have created within your focus. For in the recognition of the strength and power of what you view to be conflict, you have created that - which may now suggest to you that as you choose to be creating any strength of expression in what you assess to be negative, you also hold the ability to be creating choice that shall express that same strength in what you want and what you view to be positive.
I shall express to you, the acceptance of the darker hues of your focus offers to you the genuine appreciation of depth and creativity that you hold. It creates dimension within you. Are you understanding?
GILLIAN: Yes, I'm understanding, Elias, and I really do appreciate this because you've reinforced for me ... I have been recently looking at those past negative, so to speak, experiences and marveling at how beautifully I did create them in the entire depth of it.
ELIAS: Quite! And in this, you also allow yourself to view your travel within the experiences of this physical dimension, and as you create these wondrous depths of experiences, even those that you view to be quite bad and dark and negative, what do you offer to yourself in wondrousness? You offer to yourself the objective understanding of your wondrous creativity, and in that recognition, you also offer to yourself the opportunity to drop the veils of separation.
For in the offering to yourself of appreciation, not discounting and not judgment, but genuine appreciation of all that you have created in your experiences within this focus, you also automatically offer yourself a genuine understanding and appreciation and compassion of your fellow travelers within this physical dimension; and as you create THAT recognition, you drop the veils of separation, and you create a genuine expression of acceptance, and this is a wondrous offering of freedom.
GILLIAN: Yes, I agree with that, Elias, because I recognize that through those experiences, I have gained greater empathy with my fellow travelers.
ELIAS: Correct. NOW the challenge that you present to yourself is to offer that expression of appreciation, empathy and compassion to self.
GILLIAN: Thank you for that, Elias. I will look on this exercise you have given me. I could actually picture this majestic mountain while you were speaking of it.
Can I ask you some other questions as well now?
ELIAS: You may.
GILLIAN: I would like to know what my essence family is. I would like to make a guess at it first. I believe I'm from Vold, with the intention of either Ilda or Tumold.
ELIAS: I may express acknowledgment to you, my friend! You are belonging to the essence family of Vold, and you are aligning in this focus with Ilda.
GILLIAN: Oh! Thank you, that was my first choice. So I am growing more aware; I'm very glad! (Laughs, and Elias laughs)
I would also like to know what my connection is with my ex-partner, Peter. There is a very strong bond, and I was wondering if there is something deeper there, besides just fellow beings?
ELIAS: I may express to you, as you already have offered impressions to yourself, you do engage several other focuses of attention with this individual, which creates an association of familiarity and ease in your interaction with this individual.
GILLIAN: Okay. There is quite a lot of conflict with this interaction, but it's more the familiarity that keeps us continuing this bond, then?
ELIAS: Correct. I may also...
GILLIAN: I would also like to know my connection with my son, who died about ten years ago. We had a very strong bond. I was more accepting of his death than I have been actually accepting of Peter's departure from conflict in my life.
ELIAS: I may express to you, you also have engaged many relationships with this individual; but in this particular focus, the ease in which you have allowed yourself an acceptance of his choice was influenced by his expression of energy to you in his acceptance of his choice, and the projection of energy which was offered by that individual to you in an expression of knowing that this choice is not affecting of your relationship, so to speak, and your interconnectedness in consciousness and in energy. Are you understanding?
GILLIAN: Yes. Thank you very much for that.
The other question that I have is why have I ... or perhaps you can give me insight into this. I feel like I have chosen my experiences to be very much alone, because these are the only two individuals that I have had a very strong bond with. I have had acquaintanceships and light friendships, but never such strong bonding with anybody else.
ELIAS: I may express to you, this also is an objective expression that you create in relation to what we have been discussing this day, and I may also express to you that one of the expressions of your conflict inwardly in which you create despair at times is an offering to you in communication that you are not engaging fully the expression of your alignment in this focus.
GILLIAN: Are you talking about Ilda, the intent?
GILLIAN: Okay, so that's something I should work on and pay closer attention to.
ELIAS: As you begin paying attention to you and moving into the embrace of this mountain, you shall also, as a by-product, open your expressions and experiences to be more freely incorporating the expression of this essence family in your alignment to it.
GILLIAN: In terms of other focuses in this dimension, I feel that I had a focus somewhere in the 1940s, right in the middle of the second world war. Am I correct in this?
ELIAS: Yes, you are.
GILLIAN: I am also a monk, I believe. I'm not sure whether it's England, but I believe around the 11th or 12th century?
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct. I may alter physical location, in identification of that which you view now as Czechoslovakia.
GILLIAN: Oh! That's interesting. (Laughs) Also as a healer, somewhere in Brazil, a tribal healer? (Pause)
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
GILLIAN: I don't know what timeframe that was. Does it matter? It doesn't really matter, does it?
ELIAS: Seventeenth century; this individual is female.
GILLIAN: Pardon me?
ELIAS: This individual is female.
GILLIAN: I don't know whether these names have any meaning. I had a dream lately, and in that dream there was a son named Daniel and a daughter, Leah.
ELIAS: This is your offering to yourself in relation to another focus, allowing yourself to open to the investigation of yourself and your experiences in other focuses that you hold in this dimension. These two individuals are your children.
GILLIAN: And the names Ariel, and Alok or Alo? (Pause)
ELIAS: You engage this identification of the first naming as a recognition of an essence tone, another essence, not that of your essence, but of another essence that you engage mergence within consciousness. The other identification of naming is the offering of a future focus of your essence.
GILLIAN: Oh, okay! Thank you. Elias, can you tell me what my essence name is?
ELIAS: Essence name, Ari, A-R-I. (AH ree)
GILLIAN: Ari, okay. Because the name - I kept thinking about it - it always seemed to start with an "A," and I couldn't pick it out. Thank you so much!
ELIAS: (Laughs) You are quite welcome.
GILLIAN: I'm trying to think of other things I can talk to you about, because I've got some time left to talk to you. It's such a pleasure to talk with you at this time! (Elias smiles and nods)
I would like to ask, Peter has a son Olivier. Will there be any, or is there any, connection between me and Olivier?
ELIAS: You have also participated in other focuses with this individual, and have created different types of relationships with this individual.
GILLIAN: And have I created relationships with this individual and Peter, as well, at the same time?
GILLIAN: So that's something for me to see if I can't find out more for myself. (Elias laughs) When I talk to you again, I will give you a little offering of that as well.
ELIAS: Very well, my friend, I anticipate the challenge and our participation in playfulness together!
GILLIAN: Elias, also with my son who died, has he passed transition, or has he come into physical focus again? (Pause)
ELIAS: Within this present time framework, no. There is a movement in the action of transition in a choice to be continuing this action of transition. For I may express to you, this particular focus of attention engages a curiosity in the movement of transition, and therefore is choosing to be creating further exploration of this particular action.
GILLIAN: Oh, okay. That's fine.
Right, Elias, till we talk again, I thank you so much, and I do appreciate all the information you have given me. Also, I talked to a person with the essence name Caroll through my computer, and he offers you his greetings and heartfelt appreciation.
ELIAS: Ah, and you may express to Caroll and Tyl my greetings, and my offering of encouragement and affection to them both.
GILLIAN: Thank you so much, and keep chatting to me, will you?
ELIAS: I shall my friend, and I shall continue to be offering encouraging energy to you. And I may express to you also, you may anticipate my interaction with you in the moments that you begin viewing your mountain as dark again, for we shall engage this exercise together in playfulness.
GILLIAN: Thank you so much, Elias. Thank you very much; I appreciate it so much.
ELIAS: You are welcome my friend. I offer to you a tremendous affection and express to you in genuineness and lovingness this day, au revoir.
GILLIAN: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 11:11 AM.
(1) I have changed this phrase from, "Now; I am understanding that within physical focus it may be quite easily expressed ideas that are contrary to mass belief systems..."
(2) Gillian's note: I always thought it was male, so it is interesting that Elias corrected me on that.
(3) Gillian's note: I sense the focus name is Miriam.
(4) Gillian's note: It is interesting to note that Pete reminded me that this is what I would name the child I would have, if I could, after Sidhartha died. I also feel strongly that Ariel is my "intent" name.
(5) Gillian's note: It was a name given to me in the same dream that I received Ariel and Alok. It came to me that Ari becomes Ariel; Alo becomes Alok. Something to do with different stages of becoming?
©2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.