Session 2835
Translations: DE ES

I Don’t Recognize Myself Anymore


“I Don’t Recognize Myself Anymore”
“Freedom and Independence”
“What Is the Essential You?”

Saturday, August 29, 2009 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Katrin (Duncan)

(Elias’ arrival time is 15 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

KATRIN: Hello. Good afternoon, Elias.

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! And what shall we discuss?

KATRIN: This is my problem today — I’m not really sure what I want to ask you. It has never happened before. I’ll just tell you some observations about myself, and you probably can clarify it. I would love to ask questions, but I don’t know how to phrase them.

My environment is pretty calm and quite beautiful at the moment, and I’m much more relaxed than I used to be. I’m not that organized anymore, and I give other individuals much more room than I used to give. I can say I’m at ease with myself when I assess my situation and my imageries in this moment, but I’m a stranger to myself. Little examples: I really don’t need a tidy house anymore, I cut myself off deliberately from any email or telephone communication when I was away for nine weeks, I hardly make any plans what to cook or what to do tomorrow or in the evening, and I’m forgetting things or events. I know that I’m not turning gaga; it’s more that I’m much less structured than I used to be.

Recently, I got up one morning with the communication that I don’t recognize myself anymore. “This is not me,” I said to myself. I seem to be detached from all the creations I present myself with. The creations are important to me in a sense that they provide me with comfort and ease; they are created by me quite naturally. But those creations are more a by-product, more like a space to operate in. This is a discovery for me, and I can’t really phrase a question here. Perhaps you might give me a more precise assessment of what I’m trying to tell you.

ELIAS: You remember our discussions in relation to genuine identity and the attachments to identity?

KATRIN: Yes, I do.

ELIAS: This is what you are doing. You are experiencing detaching those attachments. Not that they disappear, not that they become unimportant, but that you are moving in a direction of recognizing that they are not you, that they are not who you are or what you are, and that you can incorporate your attachments by choice in the manner that you want, but it is not a matter of have-to any longer, or supposed-to.

In this, you are moving more into allowing what is more natural and what is more genuine of you. And yes, it seems unfamiliar; it seems that you may be a different person, so to speak. In actuality, you are not; you are merely allowing yourself to experience yourself in your genuineness rather than only experiencing yourself in all of the attachments, which is very different. As I expressed, it is not to say that the attachments are gone — they are not — but that you do not have to engage them or express them.

In this, you may not necessarily be motivated to be as interactive with other individuals. That may change, but it matters not. For the point is that in the situation, in the moment, in the time framework, you are not obligated to do so and that there is no intense push of what you must do or what you are supposed to do, or what you must not do or what you are not supposed to do.

It is a movement into what your genuine self is and what your natural movement is in the simplicity of that, without all of the complications of the attachments. In this manner, you can begin to discover your genuine freedom, that if you want to engage any of those attachments you can, but you can do so knowing that it is an attachment, that it is not the genuine you, that it is merely an action that you are choosing in the moment to engage, even if it is as simple as engaging another individual, phoning a friend and recognizing that previously your motivation for doing so was not necessarily entirely merely that you wanted to connect, but that there generally are other reasons that motivate you.

The obligation, the association that this is what friends do, that you should be continuing or initiating contact for this is what is expected and this is what is required to maintain the bond of friendship, these are attachments. They are associations that you generate. They are ideas and concepts and influences in relation to what you have learned or what you have been taught or what you have experienced.

Detaching from experiences is actually more difficult than detaching from what you have learned or what you have been taught. Not that those are not challenging also, but your experiences you more so associate with who you are. In that, many of your experiences are motivated by what you assess you should do and all of the tentacles, so to speak, that are attached to any one “should” — the reasons why you should engage a particular action.

In one simple action, in phoning a friend, the attachment that you should for this is an action that is involved with friendship, the reasons for that “should” are all of these other tentacles, the reasons why. Why are you obligated to phone the friend? For that maintains an open line of communication that offers the friend the reassurance that you are thinking of them, that you care about them, that you are sharing with them. It also is associated with the reason that if you are connecting, it maintains that line in which the other individual will continue to connect with you, and therefore, it maintains the back and forth, so to speak. Or if there is a situation that arises in which there is a perceived need by yourself or by the other individual, that is understood that it will be satisfied by the other individual in the maintenance of the friendship. All of these reasons are the tentacles that extend from the attachment, and they generate the motivations for you to continue to engage certain actions that you expect yourself to do.

What you are doing now, without necessarily analyzing the actions, is you are allowing yourself to not necessarily automatically respond to those attachments.

KATRIN: I noticed, too, that some of my acquaintances or friends, I’m getting rather bored with them. Apart from one friend and Mary, I don’t have a real exchange about subjects that I’m interested in. It includes, as well, that I don’t get a kick out of anything, so to speak, that I do, which occupies my thinking mechanism very much. I wait for inspiration more from inside, because from outside I’m not very much inspired at the moment. But it seems to me that this waiting for inspiration is the same as creating a task and not enjoying the process of starting something that enters my mind.

Altogether, I’m quite bored, bored without being unhappy about it. I have probably not allowed myself to exercise or to practice with myself to be spontaneous, spontaneous about what enters my mind, what I want to do. I’m spontaneous when I entertain people or cook or go shopping, or when I have done my job. I’m spontaneous and flexible in connection with the outside world, but I’m not that flexible with myself. This is probably the source of my boredom, because I realize more and more, and after what you have just told me, that I will not engage certain attachments anymore. I have the desire to go in a different direction, to create my own entertainment, let’s put it that way.

ELIAS: Yes! And in this, it is a matter of paying attention to those spontaneous impulses and allowing yourself to move with them rather than dismissing them. The reason that they are easily dismissed is that in the manner that you are accustomed to thinking and associating, whatever the spontaneous impulse is appears initially to be unproductive.

KATRIN: That’s exactly how I feel.

ELIAS: And therefore, why engage it? It is unproductive. It is not yielding what you think of or what you assess as being a productive action, and therefore, it is almost frivolous.

In this, this is another aspect of this genuine movement and detaching from those attachments, allowing yourself to pay attention to those spontaneous impulses regardless of what they are, regardless of how insignificant they seem or how small they seem or even how little time they may occupy to execute.

That is another factor, for significant actions carry the association that they incorporate more time. If you are engaged in a project that incorporates time that will occupy you for an hour or two hours or five hours or several days, this is more significant and this is more to be paid attention to, for this is more productive. But the impulses to engage an action that may engage fifteen of your minutes is equally as productive as an action that incorporates several of your days. It is merely different. It is a different type of being productive. It is a type of being productive that is allowing you to genuinely be you and to explore what your interests are, what new interests you may be developing and what genuine interests you incorporate, rather than what you have thought was an interest, for it should have been an interest.

Such as, you express that you are not as interested in exchanging and conversation with other individuals or with other friends as much any longer for you are not as interested in the subject matters any longer. I would express to some extent you were likely not entirely interested in the subject matters before, but you incorporated that attachment of the obligation and the supposed-to’s, which are the whys, the tentacles of relationships, and therefore, you should incorporate an interest. Or even if you do not incorporate the interest yourself, you should allow the other individual to express themself, and in that, you should display some interest in what they are expressing as an acknowledgment of the importance of the subject to them, which is also one of the tentacles of friendships or relationships.

What you are moving into now is the state of relationship — not relation-SHIPS that involve the exchange between yourself and some other manifestation, be it human or otherwise, but the state of being of relationship, which is the state of being of interconnectedness. In that interconnectedness, those attachments are not necessary, for you already are interconnected.

Therefore, whether you incorporate an interest in another individual’s subject of importance or not matters not. It is not necessary to display that. It is not necessary to prove that you are connected to the individual by displaying the appearance of an interest in what is important to the other individual. You are present, and your presence in itself expresses your worth of yourself and your value of the other individual, regardless of whether you incorporate the same importance in the same subjects or not.

In this, you are beginning to move into that genuineness of self, and yes, it is very unfamiliar. Beyond unfamiliar, some aspects of it are even unknown, and yes, it can be confusing, for you continue to search for those familiar actions that are associated with the attachments.

In this also, you are beginning to let down, in a manner of speaking, not necessarily let go but let down the attachment of independence. This is a subject that I have been engaging recently which is very important, for it is a gateway into genuinely shifting in objective physical manners that will provide the avenues for significant changes in your reality in this shift.

Let me express to you, my friend, one of the significant changes in your reality that I have expressed will be realized in this shift is that the foundation of exchange will be obsolete. Therefore, exchange in the most obvious manner that you view, which would be money or some type of exchange, one action for another which is the basis of money, will no longer be one of your foundational elements of your reality.

Now; in that, many individuals, if not all individuals, that are privy to this idea may question within themselves how can that be possible? How can we actually accomplish such an immense alteration of our reality when this foundation of exchange permeates so much of what we do — and in attachments, even what you are, although not genuinely what you are.

In this, in order to accomplish that type of immense change in your reality, you must first recognize what attachments there are and the immensity of them to what and who you genuinely are. For if you cannot detach those attachments and recognize them as attachments and recognize what they do and how they limit you, and if you cannot recognize who you genuinely are and what you genuinely are, how can you possibly generate these immense changes to your reality that are attachments? Exchange itself is an attachment.

One of the most immense attachments, other than exchange, to your identities, and one that in a similar manner to exchange you view as good, you view as a prize, and as I have expressed, is one of the jewels of your reality, one of the jewels that you attach to your identity, is independence. For this jewel you equate with freedom, and it is not. It is not freedom. It is binding. Freedom is merely another term for separation, and separation binds you.

In this, you do not express that you are generating freedom-to. You express you are generating freedom-from. Freedom is an action that you move away-from, away from some aspect that you perceive to be binding or that you perceive to be limiting. You perceive that the more independent you become, the freer you become, for the less attached you are to some other expression.

In actuality, the more freedom you express, the more attached you are and the more bound you are, for some of the very strong attachments to the attachment of freedom are control. In association with independence is responsibility, and an enormous attachment to independence is right choices, right actions. If you are independent, you must engage right actions to maintain that independence. The more independent you are, the more responsible you are for whatever is in your charge in that independence. The more independent you are, the more you must be in control of what you are independent of.

Therefore, that jewel that you view as freedom binds you tighter and tighter the more and more you express it. The more and more you strive for it and the more you attain it, the greater you separate and the less you allow yourself to receive. For what shall you receive? You can do yourself. What shall you allow outside of yourself? You can accomplish alone, for you are independent.

KATRIN: This is a hard thing.

ELIAS: Yes, it is very significant and it is immense, for it permeates all of your existence, regardless of what it is. Whether it be what you own, what belongs to you, your environment, other individuals, objects, creatures. It matters not — whatever is in your charge. And how can you define whatever is in your charge? Whatever you engage. Whatever you engage is in your charge in independence, whether it be your home, your vehicle, your family, your friends, other individuals, co-workers, strangers, objects, pets, trees. It matters not. Whatever is engaged in your existence is a part of what is in your charge in your independence.

What is the reverse of independence, or what you would term to be the opposite of independence? Not de-pendence. The opposite or the reverse of independence is relationship. Not relation-ships, but the state of relationship, the knowing of interconnectedness, the knowing that there is not isolation, that you are not isolated, that although you incorporate your own wondrous uniqueness, you are also entirely interconnected.

Now; how can that be? How can you maintain your unique individuality but also be entirely not separate and interconnected and in that state of relationship?

Let us generate that in very simple familiar terms: let us examine what the essential you — we will not incorporate the term “essence,” for all of you, or for the most part most of you, already separate that. You incorporate a different essence name, and therefore that name designates essence as being different from you as a physical manifestation. Therefore, that already incorporates a significant separation. Let us incorporate an examination of you and what the essential you is. It is not your body consciousness, not in your assessment, not in your perception. Therefore, what is the essential you?

Most individuals will define the essential you as being either your mind — which you do not entirely equate with your brain, and although you do attach aspects of it with your brain, you do view your mind as different from your physical brain — or your soul. More so the soul, for that you do not attach with any actual physical organ or physical manifestation. The soul, in your perception, is the essential you and is the make up of who you are, what you are. Although it somehow elusively resides within the physical manifestation of you as a body, it is not attached to it.

Very well; in incorporating this idea of the genuine you — who you are, what you are, being that soul — how can that soul be unique, different and its own self and also be not separated and completely entirely interconnected with All That Is in every other capacity? Very simply, in a manner that you each can very easily understand, in the presentment of the concept of a soul mate.

The concept of a soul mate, although it may incorporate many different forms and philosophies, the basic aspect of that is that there is some other expression, some other soul that is a part of you, that is so not-separate from you, that is so much a part of you that it cannot be detached from you. Whether you can physically engage it or not, it remains a part of you — which also presents the motivation for many, many individuals to be genuinely seeking out their soul mate, that piece of themself that cannot be cut away, that split-apart that is so much a part of themself that without it the individual does not feel complete or whole.

Now; as you aware, these are philosophies, but there is a grain of actual realness in that. You have generated the reality of relationship, the being of relationship, that interconnectedness, that lack of separation into some form that you can easily identify and attach to in a physical sense: the soul and the soul mate. In this, what you are doing now is moving into, shifting into, that genuine identification of your genuine self, your genuine identity without the attachments.

The soul does not incorporate attachments. “Soul” is merely another term for you, who and what you genuinely are, and in that, the soul mate is all else, All That Is, which is all genuinely a part of you that is not separated. It is only separated by the attachments, and as I expressed, one of the greatest attachments, other than exchange, is independence.

KATRIN: You moved me to tears today, because when you explained about freedom and independence, what they were, that is how much I wish it would be like this. There is a deep push inside, I think, to go in this direction. I can speak for me, because it moves me so much. It is not a concept; it is something which really struck a chord with me.

ELIAS: And this is more than a wish, my friend. This is what you all desire to shift into. This is the remembrance — not memory, not experience, but the remembrance, the beingness of that genuine interconnectedness.

I have expressed, one thread cannot be a fabric; one thread is one thread. But you are not one thread. You are a fabric, and that fabric cannot be generated without countless other threads, for that is what generates a fabric and that is what you are.

Perhaps in the perception that you incorporate lack of motivation — which is not actually a lack of motivation, it is merely a different motivation than what you are accustomed to — you are moving into the discovery of the genuine freedom without boundaries, without binding, and the actual wonderment now and gloriousness of what you actually genuinely are, without the dismissal. (Pause)

KATRIN: I’ve nothing to say. (Elias laughs) I’m a bit overwhelmed, but in a very nice way.

ELIAS: Perhaps now, as you began this conversation in expressing to myself that you are engaging unfamiliar actions and you do not feel as though you are you but not in an uncomfortable manner, perhaps now you can view that not uncomfortable experience and feeling as the doorway into that brightness of who you are, that without those attachments you can be all that you are, expressing any manner that you choose, and you are not disconnected.

KATRIN: What I noticed already, and I mentioned it to Mary, is that I am much simpler than I thought. This experience of being detached showed me what simple wishes I have, what simple desires I have, which have been colored by obligation or what was expected of me. That I have discovered already.

ELIAS: Correct, yes, which I have been expressing from the onset. It is all actually quite simple, but you as humans genuinely are fascinated with complicating.

KATRIN: I can sit around nowadays doing nothing but looking at trees. Then I have the slight feeling I have to do something, there are things that I have to do. Feeling so simple in your desires has a very nice attachment to it. So, I’m just figuring that out. I’m not really clear yet.

ELIAS: And a more genuine surprise, does it not? For when you present yourself with very simple expressions and very simple actions, or when you allow yourself to engage very simple impulses, what you present to yourself is surprising. But in its simplicity, there is more of a genuineness in that surprise, more of a genuine appreciation of the surprise.

KATRIN: There is beauty in it as well.

ELIAS: Yes, quite so.

KATRIN: I have experienced that. It is more your brain or your mind that is questioning whether this is possible. But it will pass. (Elias laughs) And the sentence, “You have to be independent,” I never will say that again. (Elias laughs with Katrin) I didn’t know that was one of the strongest attachments. What a surprise. It’s so logical when you tell me that; there’s a natural logic in it. To be independent, you try to separate yourself.

ELIAS: Correct.

KATRIN: Well, there’s quite a bit to ponder (Elias laughs), and changing my whole perception about myself or about us, as well. I am overwhelmed. I thank you so much.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my dear friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be offering my energy to you as always in tremendous encouragement. I express a tremendous lovingness to you, my friend, and an acknowledgment of the genuine beautiful expression of your energy.

KATRIN: (Emotionally) Thank you.

ELIAS: You are very welcome. As my friend, to you until our next meeting, au revoir.

KATRIN: Au revoir. Thank you.

Elias departs after 52 minutes.

©2009 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2009 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.