Saturday, December 13, 2008 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Ben (Sumarian)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
BEN: Good afternoon, Elias.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) And what shall we discuss?
BEN: Well, as you’re probably aware, I’ve been going through a hell of a drama-trauma in the last month and a half. I want to discuss some of the details of what’s going on, because I’m totally clueless. This whole ordeal started about a month and a half ago when I had this physical event where I felt dizzy and disoriented and got very frightened. I moved to my parents’ house, went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with depression and gave me medication. For the past six weeks, all I’ve been doing is lying in bed, feeling very empty, having a lot of disengagement ideas, and discounting myself. I stopped going to work. I can’t be in my apartment anymore. It’s almost like I completely shut down all my systems, and I can’t see any way I’m going to get them started. I was wondering if you can somehow begin to clarify what is going on here, what I’m creating at the moment.
ELIAS: Very well. I am aware that in this time framework, experiences are very confusing and unsettling and unnerving for most individuals — not all, but most. This is an interesting time framework. It is interesting in relation to the present wave and how that is affecting your world and how it is affecting all of you, and it is an interesting time framework for it is a genuine surge in shifting, objectively shifting, which is also being evidenced throughout your world.
In this, you are beginning to genuinely step out of the familiar and into the unfamiliar in significant changes. What you are experiencing, in actuality, is not depression, but it is understandable that your science of psychology would label your experience as this. I would express that presently your psychologists may be generating significant excitement in how MANY individuals they will be labeling as being depressed. In actuality, this is not the situation. What is the situation is that you are genuinely beginning to shift, to change in dramatic directions that are so unfamiliar you do not contain an association with your experiences yet.
Now; as I have expressed previously, an association is an evaluation and almost a commentary or an assessment that you generate in relation to an experience that involves or has attached to it a judgment, either good or bad. Regardless of what you experience, subsequent to the experience, you generate an association, an assessment of that experience, and you deem that experience to be good or bad.
Now; these associations are logged or held in memory, and the body consciousness is what stores memory.
Now; when you generate new experiences, the body consciousness automatically generates a search for a previous experience and an association that is similar, and that allows you to quickly assimilate your experience and to generate a translation through thought, which allows you an understanding of your experience. This is what you would term to be normal. When you generate an entirely new experience, the body consciousness generates its automatic search, and when it cannot find a memory and an association that matches the new or the present experience, it becomes confused.
Now; when the body consciousness becomes confused, it begins to respond in unusual manners, for it cannot find a reference point for what you are experiencing. This also confuses the thought mechanism, for it is not being provided with accurate information, or it may not be provided with any information, and that creates confusion with the thought mechanism. Therefore, your thinking may be confused, or it may be clouded, or it may be difficult to retain thoughts. In that, you may assess that you become easily forgetful. Or the thought mechanism will attach to one direction of thinking and will, in a manner of speaking, malfunction and create repeat thinking, in which it continues to move in one particular direction over and over, such as incorporating a thought process of disengaging or suicide. The reason that it would be prompted to move in that direction is that the body consciousness is continuing to attempt to find an association and a memory and it cannot. Therefore, the body consciousness is generating a communication of no choices — no choices, no choices, no choices.
As it generates that communication, it is not unusual for the thought mechanism to move in the direction of translating that communication into the only choice: disengage, shut down, turn off, cease to exist. These are the translations that the thought mechanism produces from the communication of the body consciousness, which is considerable confusion and expressing no input, no choices. This also affects motivation or can affect motivation. In this, the reason motivation is affected is that what is occurring is you are actually changing, but you incorporate no plan as to what that change is, and you cannot define that change yet, for you are still assimilating the change.
Now; in that, the feeling of a lack of motivation seems very pervasive and overwhelming. In that, generally speaking, you, in like manner to most individuals, move in the direction of generalizing and expressing that you are unmotivated in any direction, which is not entirely correct. Individuals ARE continuing to be motivated but in very different directions than they are accustomed to. The directions that they were motivated in previously hold little interest to them now. This is actually occurring globally. For that reason, the energy is even stronger and more affecting. In this, each of you is experiencing actually shifting into being self-directed.
Now; we have spoken of being self-directed for many years in your terms, which essentially has been a preparation for what you are experiencing now. Individuals thought that they were being self-directed and thought that they understood the concept of being self-directed, but in actuality, there are and have been many, many, many factors that are influencing of each of you that prevent you from actually being self-directed. Being self-directed is moving in the direction that you want and that interests you and that you incorporate a curiosity and an affinity for without the influence of outside sources.
Now; this is very, very unfamiliar to most individuals on your planet, for whether you recognize it or not, you incorporate many, many outside influences that govern your behavior, what you do, what you do not do, what you should do, what you should not do, what is appropriate, what is not appropriate. These influences come from how you have been instructed through other individuals, through schooling, through your societies, and what is expected of you and what you expect of yourselves in what you view as normal movement, such as attending school, developing a direction of a career, generating employment, developing skills. In that, for a time, many individuals have even generated the perception, which is very real, that they enjoyed their direction and that they enjoyed their employment, that they appreciate and enjoy their skills or their talents.
But in this time framework, what is occurring is a significant change, and that change is moving from what you have been TAUGHT to appreciate or to like or to dislike or to be interested in or to not be interested in to an expression of genuine discovery of self, of what YOU genuinely are interested in and like and dislike, and what skills or creativity YOU actually express naturally. For the most part, most individuals do not objectively know what those expressions are. They do not know what they want, what they like, what they dislike, what their genuine interests are, what they are not, what they genuinely enjoy.
Even if they possibly can move into a point of identifying some elements and expressions of what they want and what they enjoy and what they are interested in, you are all so inundated with the information of how to accomplish in any particular direction that you automatically think in certain manners. Such as, you may actually identify an idea or an action that you genuinely are interested in and like to do, and you will automatically express to yourself, “But this would be impossible to generate an actual income.” An individual may express, “I can view within myself that I incorporate a genuine passion for reading. I am genuinely interested, I genuinely like to engage this action, and if I were entirely self-directing and generating what I want to do in every moment, I would choose to be reading.”
Now; from that point, the individual incorporates no idea of how they could possibly incorporate that action and also sustain themselves physically and financially. This is the point. You are aware that I have been offering information in this direction for an ongoing time framework, but now what is occurring is that individuals are beginning to recognize that they are floundering or they feel lost, for they do not actually know how to be self-directing. But you have all pushed yourselves in the direction of almost forcing yourselves to be moving in this direction. It is a part of this shift.
You can recognize in your world presently there are significant changes occurring that require being addressed to — your planet itself, your economies — and these are not limited to particular countries. These are situations that are occurring globally. As I have expressed from the onset of this forum, this shift involves the entirety of your world, and you are now beginning to genuinely evidence that to yourself. There are certain foundations in your world that are ineffective, inefficient, and that you have outgrown and that require change. The intensity in which you view global activities occurring and the necessity for changes in certain established structures collectively, that is being expressed individually. You cannot generate a collective without individuals; therefore, the movement begins with the individuals. You are perceiving yourselves to be depressed or restricted or...
BEN: Feel empty.
ELIAS: Yes. And view how that is being reflected globally throughout your world. What is the expression of your economies? Depressed and empty. What is the reflection of your planet? Depressed and becoming empty. What is the expression of the individual? Turbulent, and the economy and the planet are turbulent. The reason is that you ARE actually experiencing, but you have not defined that yet. You are experiencing CHANGING. What was important is not important. What was valued is not necessarily valued. What was the norm is no longer the norm.
I have expressed many times throughout my engagement with all of you, this shift is a Source Event. It is such a master Source Event that the energy of this shift cannot actually be fully expressed in your physical reality. With that volume of energy and that volume of change, you cannot expect that you will generate the significance of these changes without some element of trauma, and I have expressed from the onset, this shift will not be easy. Now you are beginning to recognize. For what you are experiencing is not your demise, and although it is considerably uncomfortable, it is, in a manner of speaking, an entirely new birth, for you are reconfiguring your perceptions, and in doing so, you are reconfiguring your reality. You are genuinely redefining yourselves, your terms, your world.
Work is one of the terms that you are redefining, and in that process of redefining, your attraction to it or your interest in it is becoming almost nil, for the structure in which it has been created does not encourage self-directedness, and this is what you are ultimately moving into.
Now; I recognize the concerns that all of you incorporate in this change, for at this point presently, it remains incomprehensible to any of you how you can realistically and practically exist without a foundation of exchange. At this point presently in your time, you are not ready to entirely abolish that structure of exchange, but you have begun to dismantle it.
Therefore, as I expressed in our recent group interaction, for each individual now, your most significant choice is to choose either to move WITH the wave or to move against it. If you move with it, you can ride the wave with little effort, recognizing that you may not be certain as to what the wave’s destination is, but allowing that to unfold. Or as with a literal wave, you can struggle and swim against it and continue to attempt to swim to the previous location — and you will be battered by the wave, and you will no more reach the previous location than you will if you ride with the wave. Struggling against it merely prolongs your confusion and your distress. Which, I am also understanding that in this time framework, this may also be your greatest challenge, to choose and to implement moving with it and allowing yourself to be, rather than forcing yourself in directions that your actual body consciousness is repelling and fighting against.
Therefore, it is a matter of fighting with yourself and opposing yourself, or allowing. I recognize that the allowing is difficult, for there are many associations in that allowing that your body consciousness can find, and it will find associations to discount yourself, to move against what is unknown. Let me express to you, my friend, an element that is unknown to all of you, an experience that is unknown to all of you, is death.
Now; for most individuals, death is generated at a point somewhat spontaneously. Even individuals that generate a disease that will eventually move them to that point, the point of death is somewhat spontaneous, and the individual is not objectively planning it. There are some individuals that do objectively plan for their disengagement and move in the direction of intentionally implementing that, that which you term to be suicide.
Now; individuals that move in the direction of intentionally planning and implementing the execution of their own disengagement incorporate tremendous difficulty and significant time framework. An individual that expresses that they genuinely want to disengage may eventually accomplish that, but in their process, it will incorporate a significant time framework. It will not occur spontaneously. Generally speaking, the individual will generate several attempts before they actually accomplish, and in that process and that time framework, the individual will create considerable conflict for themself, and considerable discomfort and distress.
Now; the reason that this occurs is the body consciousness is not a separate entity from you. It is a part of you, and it serves a very specific function, other than its physical functions. Its specific functions are to store memory and to preserve existence in the physical reality. As that is the body consciousness’s two charges, or its two main responsibilities, it functions in those responsibilities very well and very strongly. Those are its two main objectives to maintain.
When you present an unknown experience to the body consciousness, it strives to preserve what is known to exist. Death creates a threat, for it is an unknown experience. Regardless of how much information you offer yourself in relation to the subject of death, the experience itself is unknown. Therefore, the body consciousness will be very influencing to hold to existence and what is known. In similar manner, you are moving into an unknown experience. You do not incorporate a previous experience of being entirely self-directing. Even as a small one, even as an infant, you are not entirely self-directing, for you depend upon outside influences for certain interactions and for certain maintenance of existence.
In this, you are generating a new experience, and that new experience incorporates no frame of reference, and the body consciousness automatically attempts to move back into what is familiar. Therefore, it continues to search for associations that will prompt you into the familiar. But as you are not separate from your body consciousness, as it is an element of you, you move in opposition to that. You cannot force yourself to engage the familiar any longer, and in that, you experience yourself being in limbo, for you cannot return to the familiar, but you do not know what you are moving into in the unknown.
BEN: It sometimes seems like I’m not even moving. This is what’s troubling even more. I’m sitting and waiting.
ELIAS: Yes, but you are not. It is not actually a matter of sitting and waiting. You already are moving, but you have not defined that yet. You already are engaging change, but you have not assimilated that yet. You already ARE shifting, but you have not generated an association with that yet. You have not formed an association with it. You are already engaging movement and action and changing, and you are very strongly evidencing that to yourself. You express to yourself you CANNOT engage your work. You attempt and you leave. That is evidence of changing. You cannot return to your dwelling; you cannot maintain remaining in that familiar environment. That is another evidence of changing. The difficulty or the conflict is that you do not know what you are changing to.
BEN: Exactly.
ELIAS: But you ARE changing, and this is the point. There is no map. There is no plan. This is a matter of genuinely applying and putting into practice all that I have expressed to you. It is a matter of genuinely trusting, genuinely allowing this process to unfold, not forcing, not pushing — genuinely acknowledging that you are engaging within a process and that it is new and that it is unknown, but that you CAN trust yourself that it will unfold, and you WILL begin to define what you are doing, and you will begin to inspire yourself, and you will begin to generate an understanding. But it is necessary to allow the new, the unknown, to unfold.
You cannot structure what you do not know. You cannot plan a direction that you do not know or that you cannot see. Therefore, it is a matter of genuinely trusting and allowing your individual process to unfold, and it will. It is merely a matter of time, genuinely. The more you do not oppose yourself and the more you do not fight with yourself, the less time you will incorporate in that unfolding. The more you do fight with yourself, the more you do discount yourself and the more you cling to old associations, the longer time framework you will incorporate to see your own unfolding.
BEN: I think I’ve been fighting quite a lot for the last month, almost automatically, because I didn’t know what else to do.
ELIAS: Yes, and I would express that this is not unusual. This is becoming quite common. For this is the point: you do not know what to do, and you are expressing MANY very strong associations with what you are doing. Therefore, it is very easy to move in the direction of opposing yourself and discounting yourself and fighting with yourself, for you do not incorporate a clear picture of what you are doing. Therefore, you THINK that you are doing nothing, but in actuality, you are generating actions, and you ARE generating movement, and you ARE changing.
BEN: So, what would allowance be like? My day is pretty empty. Allowance would be sort of not fighting this emptiness, and if I’m not motivated to do anything to not do anything? It’s become rather bizarre. Time has literally stopped. The days go by very slowly, and I feel like I’m just sitting and waiting for some miracle. What would allowance be like, just to flow and trust that eventually things will unfold?
ELIAS: Yes, and to allow yourself to do whatever action you want to do in whatever moment. I am understanding, once again, that there is a very strong association with that action, that you should never do that and this is entirely irresponsible and the epitome of laziness, but in actuality, this is an element of that allowance. If you in the moment want to drink a cup of tea, drink a cup of tea. If you want to eat a bowl of soup, eat a bowl of soup. If you want to read a magazine, read a magazine. If you want to engage your television, do that. If you want to incorporate a nap, do that.
I am aware that it seems that you are doing nothing in any of these actions, but actually you are engaging a significant action. You are allowing and you are practicing with allowing. You are also practicing actually listening to yourself and not overriding yourself. THIS is the factor that is entirely unfamiliar to all of you, for you are accustomed to either instructing yourself as to what you should do, and that is based upon outside influences, or you are accustomed to being instructed by outside influences directly in what you should do. This is an actual implementation of allowing yourself to do what you are prompting yourself to do without any other influence.
BEN: Elias, all these things I’ve been doing over the past week like interacting with psychologists, psychiatrists, family members, friends, I notice that all the information I receive from them I seem to have been resisting it. It seems like this was not the direction, to start delving into my past to change things in the present. I find myself resisting all these movements, and then I discount myself because I should be doing something to get out of this condition.
ELIAS: And this is another factor, my friend, genuinely LISTENING to your own intuition, genuinely practicing listening to your own knowing, listening to yourself and not moving in the direction of questioning yourself and expressing, “I actually feel this and I actually incorporate this intuition in relation to myself, but all of these other individuals are expressing in a different direction. Therefore, perhaps I am incorrect, and perhaps it is necessary for me to question myself, for the other individuals seem to be quite solid in what they are expressing and quite convinced in what they are expressing. Therefore, perhaps I am wrong.” No. This is an element of this change. This is an element of this shifting in being self-directing. This is not to...
BEN: Elias, am I actually listening to my voice at times? Because many times I really don’t hear that voice of intuition. Were these changes that I made, for example going to my parent’s house, leaving my work, leaving my dwelling, are those an example of listening to myself?
ELIAS: That is an example of being prompted and allowing yourself to follow that prompting. Therefore, yes, in a manner of speaking, that IS listening to yourself. It is not necessarily your intuition that you are listening to, but it is responding to impulses. It is responding to your own promptings and your own impulses and not overriding them and not fighting them. Subsequently you fight with yourself, for you did follow your impulses — but actually, you are fighting with your own associations. But what is to be acknowledged is that you did follow your promptings; you did follow the impulses. As illogical as they seem to you now, they are...
BEN: It’s a bit difficult being in my parents’ house. It seems like I’m confused enough as it is, and I’m getting a lot of suggestions. I was wondering, I can’t really find a place where I can feel at peace with myself. At the moment, I’m continuing to reside there.
ELIAS: Perhaps you can allow yourself to incorporate their home as your residence but allow yourself to remove yourself for considerable time frameworks within your day, perhaps allowing yourself to engage a physical location that is pleasing and soothing to you, such as the beach or some other location that will be pleasing and calming to you, in which it is not necessary that you engage other individuals if you are not so choosing, that you can if you choose to but it is your choice, that it is not required of you to engage other individuals. In actuality, you can move about in many different environments and not actually engage other individuals and allow yourself the comfort of a pleasant environment that you can express calmness in and not be experiencing outside pressures.
BEN: Oh, that’s going to be challenging, a bit. I am moving between residences, between my brother and my parents and my house, so it does create a kind of circle.
Is the medication I’m taking in any way hampering or damaging to my physical body consciousness?
ELIAS: No. No, it is not.
BEN: What I’m hearing is that I am moving, and I sort of have to learn to relax and just allow this to unfold even though it’s very, very strange, because I feel a lot of emptiness and at times it’s very frightening.
ELIAS: I am understanding. This is quite understandable, for you are moving into unknowns. Therefore, it would appear to be very empty, for what is known and what is familiar is very full, but the unknown will be full also. It is merely that it has not been defined yet. Therefore, it may feel very empty, but that is temporary.
BEN: Temporary could go on for several months or longer?
ELIAS: That is dependent upon you. It may begin to dissipate quite quickly with you not fighting with yourself, for you have already incorporated a time framework in which it has been occurring, and you are continuing to move in that, regardless of whether you are defining that or not. Therefore, you are accomplishing, regardless that you think you are not...
BEN: That’s reassuring.
ELIAS: And in that, now that you also incorporate more information, it may be somewhat easier for you to stop fighting with yourself, and that will quicken your movement.
I would express that most individuals have already been incorporating experiencing this movement for approximately one to three of your months, and in that, for the most part, most of you have already generated a significant portion of this movement. Therefore, you may quite soon begin to unfold the new direction. Be encouraged, my friend, rather than dismayed.
BEN: It’s a scary ride. I had a very scary month and a half.
ELIAS: I am understanding. But just as a burrowing creature may burrow into a very dark tunnel, it eventually emerges into a new location for new adventures.
BEN: I have a small, short question for my friend. He wanted to confirm the orientation of his long time ex-girlfriend, and he asked if she was common.
ELIAS: Yes.
BEN: She is. Well, our time is up.
ELIAS: Very well. I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be offering my presence and my encouragement to you continuously, my friend.
BEN: Thank you for that, because I was sort of not seeing you, and I was worried.
ELIAS: I am always present. Of that, you can be assured.
BEN: Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. To you in tremendous affection and great lovingness, au revoir.
(Session time unavailable)
©2009 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.