Practicing Being Present
Topics:
“Practicing Being Present”
“What Is Personalizing?”
Thursday, September 21, 2006 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Julie (Fontine)
ELIAS: Good morning!
JULIE: Good morning, Elias.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) And what shall we discuss?
JULIE: Well, today is my 40th birthday, and my birthday present to me is having a conversation with you.
ELIAS: Ah! And I express my congratulations to you.
JULIE: Thank you. The first thing I would like to talk about is presence and what you discussed in a group session maybe a couple of sessions ago. The way that I focus on my presence is being aware of my awareness, and it’s kind of like seeing the see-er or looking at the one that’s looking or awareness of awareness, is usually how I put it. Is that similar to what you are talking about?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: And you said awareness of existence.
ELIAS: Yes, which also would include an awareness and a presence with your body consciousness, generating all of your awareness together and not separating.
JULIE: Right. That’s kind of what I noticed when I feel the best or the most accurate… I don’t know exactly what the word is, but when I have my awareness on my awareness, I feel really relaxed, and my attention is on what my body is doing and my surroundings. It seems like I’m taking in a whole lot more information about all of my objective reality as well as being aware of my subjective self.
ELIAS: Yes, for it heightens your avenues of communication, and it allows you to move your attention in flexibility and therefore be inputting new information continuously.
JULIE: That’s what I’ve noticed. It feels like everything is very immediate and fresh and kind of new. I know I’ve experienced this lots of times, and it seems like I’ve involved an element where I have to keep practicing and struggling to remember to be aware. It’s not always continuous. Can you tell me what’s happening with that?
ELIAS: First of all, let me express to you to not generate such harshness with yourself but to generate more of an allowance, recognizing that being present. As you have expressed, being aware of your awareness is an action that somewhat requires practice, and it is significant to remember that in all that we have discussed concerning being present – being in the now, being aware of what you are doing, paying attention – the reason that I have generated so much emphasis upon these actions is that previously most of you were very unfamiliar with these actions and for the most part were generating movement in automatic pilot.
Therefore, in emphasizing the importance and the significance of being present and being aware and paying attention and listening to yourself and directing yourself that, in a manner of speaking, has been encouraging most of you to be more aware, therefore allowing you to be more self-directing and generating more of what you want in paying attention to what you are doing. But this is not to say that you will not incorporate some moments or time frameworks in which you may be expressing that automatic pilot again – and that is not bad. For at times you allow yourself to generate that break from the intensity, so to speak, and that actually allows you more of a natural flow.
In similarity to projecting past or future – although I express an emphasis upon being in the now – it is also natural for you to incorporate thought processes in relation to past or future at times. The emphasis upon being in the now was to illustrate how often most individuals are not present in the now and how often they are projecting past or future and excluding being aware of the now.
The point in all of this is yourself. Most individuals previously were generating an imbalance of the extreme of not paying attention and not being present, and therefore creating many situations and experiences in which you express considerable confusion or discomfort, and also generating a lack of trust within yourselves. For you generated the association that there are some elements within your experiences that are hidden from you or that some other force is directing you that you do not control. In this, also, that contributed to the association that you co-create and therefore at times can be a victim.
The purpose of generating and emphasizing the other direction was to encourage you to move into a balance, in which you do incorporate time frameworks in which you may be projecting past or future, but they are much briefer now, and they are more in balance with the present. You do incorporate time frameworks in which you may be expressing that automatic pilot, but that also is an element of the balance. For the most part, you are aware of your presence. You are paying attention in the now, which is much more effective and efficient, but at times you may also engage moments in which you may not necessarily engage that precise awareness and presence with yourself, and that actually allows you to regenerate somewhat, for it allows you to relax and not concern yourself with what may be occurring in your reality in those moments.
Now; there is a slight snare associated with those moments of re-engaging automatic pilot, and that can be that within those time frameworks, you can trigger some familiar associations and slip into thinking in a manner that is not desirable or is uncomfortable. But as you have become more and more familiar with being present and being aware of your awareness and paying attention to what you are doing, you can much more easily interrupt those snares and create a different expression and move your attention back to the now.
Therefore, I would express to you, rather than discounting yourself and struggling with continuously being present – even though that may be your ultimate intention – allow yourself to relax and to recognize that it is not necessarily bad if you occasionally are not present and are not paying attention, and in that, acknowledge yourself when you do notice, rather than becoming frustrated with yourself when you notice.
Just as I have expressed information in association with core truths as guidelines and the absoluteness of them and what the automatic responses are associated with them in personalizing and in expectations, individuals listen to what I am expressing but subsequently move in that information in what is very familiar to them, and they create it to be very black and white. Therefore, you express to yourself, “I should always be present. I should never be projecting. I should never incorporate the automatic response of personalizing in association with my guideline.(1) I should know better. I should not be generating expectations.” This is unrealistic, for your guidelines are very absolute to each of you. Therefore, there will be moments of experiences in which you will express automatic responses, but the difference is that you will recognize them almost immediately, and in the recognition of them, they dissipate almost immediately also.
JULIE: Are you saying that my core truths are personalizing and expectations?
ELIAS: No. This is what all individuals generate in association with their individual core truth.
JULIE: What does personalizing mean?
ELIAS: That is an association that you generate in relation to other individuals, in which you either discount yourself and view yourself to be wrong or less than, or you interpret the expression of another individual as being a personal affront to you. That is personalizing, which generally is accompanied by signals of either anger, frustration, hurt feelings or anxiety. That is expressed in association with personalizing.
JULIE: It’s kind of like believing that the other person was trying to hurt me and that their actions are really separate from my energy? And if I don’t personalize, then I’m recognizing that this is coming from my energy, this reflection. Is that correct?
ELIAS: Partially, and also the recognition that the other individual is expressing from their guideline and therefore is, for the most part, not intending to be offensive. Therefore, recognizing that yes, you are generating the reflection for your own reason, and also recognizing that the other individual is not expressing an intention of hurtfulness or an intention to be in opposition with you and is not generally intending to trigger some response of negativity within you. But you, as every other individual, filter the expressions and the energy of other individuals through your guidelines, and you may in moments express that automatic response of personalizing.
But in being aware of yourself and your guidelines, you can also almost immediately recognize that this is your filter. In that, you dissipate that emotional communication and signal. Therefore, in a manner of speaking, you disengage that bite that you would have generated a wound from, but now recognize differently and can generate more ease with the expressions of other individuals. It is not that your guidelines are any less absolute or any less influencing or affecting, but you recognize that they are your guidelines. Therefore, another individual may be expressing in a very different avenue, and it is your interpretation through that filter of the guidelines that generates the reaction of personalizing or of expectation.
The expectation is also an automatic response, which is expressed in the association that the other individual “should know,” or the other individual should know me and therefore should know. For you can move into the expression and the understanding that other individuals incorporate different guidelines and therefore may not be intending to trigger your guideline, but then we move into relationships that are more closely expressed, such as family members or friends or partners that you interact with frequently or continuously and that you generate an ongoing relationship with. Those individuals are not necessarily afforded the same recognition as other individuals, for the automatic expectation is that those individuals know you, and therefore, they should know better.
What is significant in being present and in being aware of your own guidelines is that it allows you to begin to thin that filter. It remains but perhaps is not as thick as it was previously. Therefore, in becoming somewhat slightly more sheer, you can actually view somewhat through it.
I have incorporated an analogy recently with individuals in association with their guidelines that may be somewhat easier to understand. I have expressed the analogy of operating a vehicle. Most individuals that engage conversation with myself also own a vehicle. Correct?
JULIE: Yes.
ELIAS: As do you.
JULIE: Yes.
ELIAS: And you operate your vehicle quite easily, and it does not require thought processes. You know how to operate it, and you do that successfully and easily. But when sitting within your vehicle, there are areas that obstruct your vision. You can view outside of your vehicle for the most part clearly, but there are some areas in which your vision is obstructed. Correct?
JULIE: Right.
ELIAS: It is very similar with your guidelines. For the most part you view your reality and your interactions with other individuals clearly, but there are some areas in which your vision is obstructed, for that lens of your guideline may be thicker in some directions and may be more absolute in some directions. This is what generates those associations that other individuals “should know.”
JULIE: Well, Elias, will you help me to see my guidelines more clearly? My core truths, because I’ve never really discussed that with you.
ELIAS: And what do you view as your core truth?
JULIE: I have a very strong belief in being kind or considerate to other people.
ELIAS: And that is it.
JULIE: That’s it? Okay! (Laughs)
ELIAS: Consideration. In identifying your core truth and recognizing it as a guideline, it can be very helpful, for it is precisely that; it is a guideline, and it influences all that you do regardless of what it is. Regardless of what action you incorporate, it will be somewhat influenced by this core truth, by this guideline. Whether it be to engage a telephone call or to be engaging watching a television program or setting your table, reading a book, regardless of what you do, there is some association with your core truth that influences you to do the action in the manner that you do it – which also offers you information as you explore more, for you begin to recognize what generates irritation or anxiety or even embarrassment in relation to the expressions of other individuals’ choices and actions and behaviors if they are different from your expressions. You can also begin to recognize how these automatic responses are expressed in relation to those differences. There is an automatic association that the other individual should know or should do or should not do.
Each individual’s core truth is expressed very strongly, and in that strength there is also a strong association that all other individuals within your world know this in the manner that you know it. That is how absolute they are. But as you continue to explore, and as you continue to become more and more aware of the influence of your guideline and of the areas in which your vision is obstructed, you also allow yourself to be more flexible with you and with other individuals, but most of all with yourself. For you can begin to express an allowance with yourself – just as with the expression of incorporating moments in which you are not present or incorporating moments in which you are not paying attention – recognizing that or noticing that and merely acknowledging it rather than expressing harshness and frustration with yourself.
In association with your guidelines, it is also important that you recognize that they are absolute to you and that they are not being changed or eliminated. In that, you will incorporate some automatic responses, but they will not be expressed in the manner that they were previously. It will not be an expression of trauma. It will merely be a momentary automatic response and a subsequent recognition of it – and in that, acknowledge that you did notice.
JULIE: This must be a murky area for me, I guess.
ELIAS: In what?
JULIE: Because I’m having difficulty thinking of examples of expressing trauma with my belief in consideration. Right now I can’t think of any examples.
ELIAS: Which I am acknowledging of you. That is success.
JULIE: Success?
ELIAS: That you are not generating trauma! (Laughs)
JULIE: Oh, okay! So if I can’t think of any problems, then I’m successful…
ELIAS: Correct.
JULIE: …for the moment. Okay.
ELIAS: I would express to you, my friend, do not seek out trauma or attempt to seek out what you term to be problems or invent them! (Laughs) Acknowledge yourself that you are being successful, for you are not creating them.
JULIE: With “consideration,” right now all I can see is that I appreciate it. I really appreciate it when I feel like I’m being kind or considerate of others, because I like to feel good, and I like it when other people feel good. I guess I feel like my energy affects other people that way when I’m being considerate.
ELIAS: Yes, and that is you following your guideline, which is good. For in following your guideline and not opposing it, you allow yourself a much lighter energy, you allow yourself a much freer movement, and you generate no conflict.
JULIE: Let’s see. I would like to discuss how the collective mirrors me, or what is my relationship with the collective? Sometimes I feel that it changes in the moment as my energy changes, so it’s not an absolute. I don’t know. Can you tell me something about that?
ELIAS: You are correct. It changes, and it is not a constant.
JULIE: The collective isn’t a constant, it is constantly changing…
ELIAS: Correct.
JULIE: …and it’s related to my own energy, the way that I’m looking at the collective? Is that right?
ELIAS: Yes. It is associated with your energy, for you are generating the contribution and participating. What you create in your reality is what you participate with in relation to the collective – certain avenues of expression, certain avenues of exploration. It may not be the entirety of the collective expression, for it is dependent upon what you are generating in your reality.
JULIE: So each individual will have a very different reality.
ELIAS: Each individual does generate a different reality. It may not necessarily be very different. It may not necessarily be extremely different, although that does occur also. But each individual does create differently, for they create through their own perception, and their perception is influenced by their beliefs and their guidelines, and their perception is also influenced by their attention. Therefore, dependent upon what the individual is paying attention to and what their expressed beliefs are and what their guidelines are, their perception will be different.
I expressed in the onset of this forum, to the individuals then, that they could incorporate placing an object upon a table, and all of them could view the physical object and each of them would perceive the object somewhat differently. They may perceive the color somewhat different; they may perceive the shape somewhat different; they may perceive the placement upon the table somewhat different. Each individual creates their own reality, and that is created through their perception. One individual may not view the object at all! (Chuckles) And all of those perceptions are very real.
JULIE: I want to change the topic a little and talk about an experience that keeps coming up in different ways in my attention. That’s the experience of being nothing or having no self. I had an experience once where I felt like I was in the void, and there was just nothingness that was behind everything. My husband keeps having something similar, too. I’m wondering why that keeps coming up in my attention and what it means.
ELIAS: I can express to you, presently this is not uncommon. There are many, many, many individuals that are experiencing moments of this type of experience. For you have generated a considerable turning of your attention to self, and in that action, being different from what was previously familiar, it can temporarily – and is, with many individuals – generate a type of association of being isolated or alone, and that can trigger an association of underlying pointlessness. In that pointlessness, there can also be expressed this void or what you term to be nothingness.
This is a temporary expression. It will dissipate. As you more fully move into the awareness of you and expand that to the recognition of the interconnectedness of all that is expressed – the interconnectedness of actions, the interconnectedness of yourself and other individuals, the interconnectedness of you and your environment and your world and your universe and consciousness – as you expand that genuine awareness and knowing of yourself, this underlying aloneness and pointlessness, which creates that feeling or that association of nothingness or void, will dissipate and will be replaced with much more of a fulfillment and a fullness.
JULIE: I’ve seen the viewpoint, too, that sometimes it feels like the void or the nothingness is pregnant with all possibilities that are not expressed, but they’re there, inherent in it.
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: It seems like it can be pretty traumatic for some people to experience that, and it has been for me, too, before.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but you can remind yourself and assure yourself that this is quite temporary. Also, when you recognize and notice that you are experiencing that, allow yourself to acknowledge it but not to dwell. For the more you concentrate upon that, the more you encourage that underlying association, and therefore, the more you generate that experience and that feeling. Whereas, if you recognize that you are generating that experience and acknowledge that and allow yourself to distract yourself and not dwell upon that experience, it shall dissipate much more quickly.
JULIE: Okay. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
JULIE: I would like to ask you about the orientations of a few people that are important to me, the first one being my mother. Can you tell me what her orientation is?
ELIAS: And your impression?
JULIE: At times I used to think she was common, but now sometimes I think that she could be soft, but I’m not sure.
ELIAS: Common.
JULIE: She’s common? Okay. She has a very strong and flamboyant personality, so I thought she might be soft. My friend Marty, again she’s different than the norm, but sometimes I’ve thought she might be soft, but is she common, too?
ELIAS: Soft.
JULIE: And my friend Xanthia, is she common?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: And my dad’s common?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: And my brother Wayne, common?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: And my brother John, I’m not sure about him. Could he be intermediate?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: He is? To me it seems like he expresses a strong discounting of himself, but then he also seems really different from me. How about Ramana Maharshi?
ELIAS: Impression?
JULIE: Intermediate?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: And Nisargadatta Maharaj, is he soft?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: Okay. And Adyashanti, is he soft?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: I did pretty well with those last three! (Laughs) I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get into their perception.
There’s one last thing. There’s a woman, Linea, who recently died in our community. She was killed in an accident. She was in the prime of her life and living a very full life with wonderful relationships. Her death hit the community very hard, and I think impacted everybody in a very strong way. I was wondering if there is some kind of fulfillment or purpose for the community with Linea’s passing the way she did.
ELIAS: Yes: an example of appreciation – appreciation of what is; appreciation of now; appreciation of what you have and your successes, and not merely successes in physical avenues but successes in your expressions and in your offerings and in your sharings and in your receiving and in your contribution with each other. In a manner of speaking, figuratively it is being presented in imagery in relation to your community as a message to be appreciating.
JULIE: That’s kind of what I’ve taken from her life and death since it’s happened. Linea right now, can you tell me a little bit about her and where she is right now?
ELIAS: Not engaging transition yet, generating a continuation of objective imagery.
JULIE: With her family and loved ones?
ELIAS: And others, yes, but also generating an allowance – not quite with the awareness of what it is – but an allowance of other energies to be interacting with her.
JULIE: Yesterday I was attempting to connect with her and what she’s doing, and my impression was that she’s feeling or experiencing a deep appreciation for the people that were in her life, interacting with them.
ELIAS: Yes. You are correct.
JULIE: When the dog, their pet dog, disappeared, an animal communicator said that Linea was involved with the dog disappearing and then returning again. So is that part of what she was interacting with also?
ELIAS: (Pause) Not actually. The creature was responding in its direction to the movement of her energy. It is not that she was directing the creature, but the creature was responding to her direction in energy, the movement of it. Creatures are aware of energy in a different manner than yourselves. In this, they visually see it, and they quite often interact with it. In this, when an individual chooses to disengage, a creature can actually view that energy and may be responsive to it.
JULIE: It was my impression also that the dog left in order for the daughter, and perhaps the family, to express more of their grief about the mother leaving.
ELIAS: Yes, but that was imagery that they created.
JULIE: But the dog was doing something differently in relation to Linea?
ELIAS: Correct.
JULIE: Hmm. Is there any way that I can understand that?
ELIAS: It was merely paying attention to that energy moving to a different area, and following that.
JULIE: So the dog was following Linea’s energy?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: And Linea’s energy was with the family?
ELIAS: Yes.
JULIE: Thank you. I think I understand that more now. Thank you, Elias. (2)
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
JULIE: Our time is up, and this has been wonderful and immensely helpful.
ELIAS: Very well, my friend, and I express once again to you congratulations in association with your emergence day, and I shall be expressing my energy to you in playfulness. (Chuckles)
JULIE: Okay! Thank you!
ELIAS: In great appreciation to you, my friend, and tremendous lovingness.
JULIE: Oh, I love you too, Elias. Thank you.
ELIAS: Until our next meeting, my friend. Au revoir.
JULIE: Good-bye.
(Elias departs after 1 hour, 4 minutes.)
1) Originally expressed as: I should never incorporate the automatic response in association with my guideline of personalizing.
2) Julies note: The family had gone camping and the dog had been left at home. He ran away and was later found miles from home. Elias explains that Linea followed the family on the camping trip, and the dog had run away to follow her energy.
Copyright 2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.