Addressing to the Influences of Trauma
Topics:
“Addressing to the Influences of Trauma”
“Eating as a Coping Mechanism”
“Being Drawn to the Forbidden”
Sunday, December 15, 2024 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Steph (Rachel)
ELIAS: Good evening!
STEPH: Hi, Elias. (Laughs)
ELIAS: (Laughs) And how shall we begin, my friend?
STEPH: Ah. Well, it’s lovely to hear your voice. Just had a good chat with Mary, which was very nice.
So many things! I’ll jump straight into it. I actually have some questions for you about your experience, but I’ll get to them later. (Laughs) Sorry. I was like, that sounds very rude. Like, “I’ll talk about myself first, and THEN we can talk about you.” But no —
ELIAS: Absolutely.
STEPH: I had a quick question first. You know how we’ve discussed the fact that cheese or soft cheese isn’t necessarily great for me and my health? Is a big part of that to do with my vein health, my blood health?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Okay. So is that why…? Something that I’ve been a bit stressed about is that I’ve noticed the veins in my legs have become a bit more prominent, like even I would say that… It’s more like they’re more visible, and I would say that on one of my legs – and part of me is like, “I don’t like talking about this because it’s just giving it attention.” But I feel like there’s a slight varicose vein on one of my legs sometimes. Can I reverse that without surgery?
ELIAS: You can; it is something that would require some time and concentration, but yes, you can.
STEPH: Can you give me a bit more guidance? I mean, I know you can probably sense energetically part of me is a bit resistant, because I’m like, “Oh god! It means that I have to give up eating cottage cheese,” I assume, and I really like cottage cheese. It’s just cottage cheese has been so useful for me in terms of weight loss, and it just goes with so many things and I just find it really yummy. But yeah, I would love some guidance around what I might be able to do to help my veins recover and go back to what I’m used to them being: healthy and not as visible.
ELIAS: Very well. The first piece is about weight, and then it would be about what you’re consuming that puts on that weight and how you are moving, meaning how you are exercising – but also, HOW you’re eating. It’s not only what you eat, it’s how you eat. Therefore, begin with that and express to myself what and how you eat on an average day.
STEPH: Well, something that comes up for me around that – and I know this isn’t entirely answering the question off the bat, but I have had a bit of a pattern of what people might call binge eating, like emotional eating; you know, where I can tend to use food as a distraction, as an anxiety sort of… Because I was considering meeting up with this guy that I’ve been on a date with, I’ve been considering catching up with him later today potentially, but we hadn’t got our plans solidified yet. And I found that I was… I find that it’s almost like I eat food in that situation as when I don’t have plans set in stone, and especially when the plans involve something sexual or whatever, I will often eat as almost like a…
(Sighs) I don’t know, it’s like I’m trying to distract myself or it’s like I’m feeling this anxiety, I’m feeling this energy that I don’t know what to do with, or that almost like my body’s trying to make a decision of do I see this person or not? And if I binge eat and if I make myself feel sick or whatever, then I know I won’t be able to catch up, or… I mean, I don’t think it’s just as simple as that. But the point is I will sometimes eat as a distraction or as a way to pass time as well.
I don’t know. I feel like I’m consuming in order to avoid other types of consumption or other types of doing or other types of decision making, which I know is not fantastic, because I feel like I’m not paying attention to myself. But yeah, I would say that’s a big factor at the moment as well. I don’t know if that’s something you want to comment on? Again, I know it’s not exactly an answer to your question yet.
ELIAS: It’s not yet, but I would say that it is an important factor. And the factor that you know that you do it as a distraction is important, because that comes from a coping mechanism, and that coping mechanism was developed long ago. That’s not something that you simply developed now.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: But that this has been a manner of how you cope for a good portion of your life.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: And what I would say is, first of all I would ask you: How far back can you remember feeling anxiety and eating as a distraction?
STEPH: It’s a good question, because… I mean, I remember –
ELIAS: Not feeling anxiety about you. Let me clarify that.
STEPH: Sure.
ELIAS: Not necessarily feeling anxiety about you, but indirectly about you. Feeling anxiety about what might be happening around you or what you’re trying to avoid.
STEPH: Yeah. Well I mean, I’m not sure, because I know that I’ve always been a sensitive person, in that even if I didn’t identify it when I was a kid, obviously I was very good at tuning in to the energy around me or feeling other people’s stuff. And I did eat a lot as a kid, but I was a very skinny kid and so it never… I don’t know if as a kid it would have ever registered to me that I was eating out of an anxiety, although I guess maybe I can remember as a teenager… I mean, because my… She wouldn’t agree with this, but I believe it to be true and so do my siblings and stuff. My mum was very restrictive around food in terms of what we were… I don’t mean that I wasn’t allowed to eat. I was definitely allowed to eat, but there were certain foods or certain times that eating was kind of off limits.
And so I remember when Mum went to bed, sometimes I would kind of start that thing of bingeing, like as in I might make a sandwich or something that I wasn’t really hungry for but I wanted to have that food. And there was an anxiety response in that to a degree of being like “I have to eat this without Mum knowing about it or without Mum observing.” Which isn’t quite the same thing, because I know it’s more like I can think of other times in, say, my teens or 20s probably when I was more eating as genuinely a distraction. I know I’ve been doing that for at least the last, god, probably 10, 12, 15 maybe years. But yeah, even before that I think that my food patterns were a bit not genuine to me, if that makes sense.
ELIAS: Very well. This is an important factor, because it’s, as I said, a coping mechanism, and it’s something that has developed from anxieties that you experienced when you were much younger. And in that, the influence of the situation is this behavior. That’s not the trauma, as it is; it’s the INFLUENCE of it. And that’s what you carry into adulthood. You carry those influences, and in that, you’re using them as coping mechanisms in capacities that don’t actually work. And what they do is they confuse your brain.
And in this, let me express to you: Your brain is not where your thinking originates and not where even most of your (pause)… mm… your directions for your body originate. That originates in your mind, which is you. And then there is your brain, is your command center for your neurological system. And in that, it’s the command center for your body and what your body creates.
In this, you dictate certain messages to your brain about what you’re doing and what you are expressing. And therefore, as you develop and as you get older, you may be developing more confidence in yourself in different directions and more success with yourself in different directions, and you communicate that to your brain and it then moves in certain directions to reinforce that in what you feel, what you do, because your brain is instructing your neurological system, and that’s where your feelings come from.
Now, in that, it’s also receiving messages from other times, because you’re giving it old messages, old information, which are your coping mechanisms that you developed as a youngling and have carried with you, but they don’t necessarily work anymore. And in that, it confuses your brain, therefore your brain is carrying out these messages but it’s creating conflicting behaviors. And in that conflicting behaviors, if those conflicting behaviors continue for extended periods of time, eventually they will lead you in a direction of creating some physical manifestation – because your brain then becomes so confused that it malfunctions, and that’s when it creates some physical manifestation.
And in that, you don’t want to move in those directions.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: What I would say is, this is a matter of moving in directions of not necessarily at this point addressing to trauma, but equally as important, addressing to the influences of traumas. In that, this is the piece that so many people don’t address to and don’t think about, and this is also the piece that I have expressed many times about the things that are directly in front of you that you can’t see. And the reason you can’t see them is because they’re SO familiar and so automatic that you don’t even know you’re doing it. These are behaviors that you have that are influences from trauma. And people think, “I’ve addressed to the trauma that I had and I know what it is and I’ve put that away, I’m done with that now.” Very well, but are you still generating the same behaviors? Have you changed your behaviors?
And in that, it’s not a matter of saying, “I see this and I’m changing my behaviors.” No, it’s not about that. It’s about actually recognizing the behaviors that you have and changing them in the moment and recognizing, “This is what I usually do in this situation. Ah! This is a coping mechanism, and I don’t need this coping mechanism in this situation because nothing is harming me.”
STEPH: Yeah. (Laughs)
ELIAS: “And I don’t have to [audio cut off], and I don’t have to be nervous or anxious in this situation because there’s nothing happening.” I would say that this is something that it’s not OCD, but it is a compulsion.
STEPH: Yes.
ELIAS: It’s something that you’re compelled to do, in the situation that you begin to feel that anxiety, to distract yourself and therefore make the anxiety go away. It doesn’t necessarily entirely accomplish that, but it does accomplish it momentarily.
STEPH: Yeah. Well, that was something that I found really helpful. So last Christmas, pretty much exactly a year ago, I was in a real state of overwhelm around this where I just felt completely powerless and just overwhelmed and I couldn’t see how it was going to change. And I found this podcast that was talking about… Like I think I just looked up podcasts something to do with, I don’t know, food and anxiety or binge eating or something like that, and this podcast was, yeah, talking about that point of the… Well again, not that it’s OCD but saying that you know, (a) with bingeing, or with some types of bingeing, there’s like this obsessive element of being like – and I could relate to this, where I’d be like obsessed with the food or obsessed with the thought of eating and consuming and just shutting out those feelings.
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: And then (b) that compulsive, like that thing of, you know… I mean, so like a year ago there was like this point where I was housesitting at the time, I’d eaten my dinner, I was not hungry, and I had this thing where it’s like, “No, Steph, you need to order. You need to order this takeaway food. You need to spend money” – which, I didn’t want to be spending the money to begin with, spend money on this excessive amount of food, and it was this feeling of feeling like I was going to DIE if I didn’t order it and get it. And I didn’t end up eating most of the food, thankfully, but it was just such a waste. And it was like a waste of money, it was a waste of energy, and I was so overwhelmed. And so hearing this podcast talking about the compulsion aspect of it really helped at the time.
And there was this book that I started listening to, the book “Atomic Habits” which actually helped me a lot in terms of just… I can’t even remember what about the book helped me, to be honest, but it was something to do with also acknowledging the compulsiveness of certain habits and thoughts that we have.
And yeah, I think I found that – I know that I’m getting a bit off the track, but I found that journaling did help me to a degree. I’ve been resisting that a bit more (laughs) again, but maybe I’d do well to get back to that because obviously journaling had a lot of benefits for me.
But yeah, yeah. I mean, I just feel like –
ELIAS: I would say, it is important to be looking at the behaviors and to be expressing genuinely a recognition, or… genuinely looking at the behaviors and not judging them, but evaluating them: what begins, what happens, what’s the middle, and what’s the end? And in that, being able to understand what you’re doing and knowing that this is a coping mechanism. That’s what compulsions are; they’re coping mechanisms. And in that, being able to see this is something that you can’t talk your way out of. (Steph laughs) Meaning, you can’t simply tell yourself, “I need to stop doing this. I’m going to stop doing this from now on, beginning tomorrow.“ You can’t DO it, because it has BECOME a compulsion because it’s a coping mechanism.
And in that, the reason you can’t talk your way out of it is because you’re talking to yourself as an adult. This is something that was created by a child, and children have a very different perspective than adults do. They have a very different mind than adults do. And therefore, this is part of the reason that sometimes it’s difficult to get to, in a manner of speaking, the root of something, the cause of something, because you’re dealing with the mind (chuckles) of a youngling, and they think very, very different than adults do. And in that, how they choose to cope can seem to an adult to be crazy!
STEPH: Yeah. Yeah.
ELIAS: It can seem to an adult to make no sense whatsoever.
STEPH: Yeah. I mean, –
ELIAS: In that, it can be difficult to see – just as you expressed that you would wait ‘til your mother was sleeping and then you would go into the kitchen and you would binge eat food that she might have had restrictions on. And in that, that’s only part of the behavior. And in that, it’s a part that may have – or very likely did – been the initiating piece for binge eating, but it was only part of the food issue.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: And in that, it was only part of the coping mechanism.
In that, then there are times in which you might be binge eating, because that’s a part of the coping mechanism, but then there are times in which you’re NOT binge eating, but you’re distraction eating.
STEPH: Yes. Yes. 100%.
ELIAS: It’s all part of the same coping mechanism; it’s simply expressed differently in different situations.
STEPH: I mean, it just feels like such a huge thing because… like you’re saying, this stuff that’s in front of us that is almost invisible because it’s so inherent to us. Like the topic of food – and not just food itself but like the things that tie in with food for me – it’s so huge because it’s such a huge part of my identity that I feel ties in with it. Both in terms of, you know, I’ve tied it in with my tomboyishness. When I was a kid, I was proud of not being like a quote-unquote “typical girl,” and so I was like, “The fact that I eat more, I like that I can eat more.” I mean, I was a skinny kid. I could eat stuff and it wouldn’t make a difference. But I liked that I could eat more. I liked that I didn’t have hangups around food.
And then also the sensuality of like I enjoy food. I enjoy the flavor of food. I like that food is meaningful to me. And then I have these moments where I’m like, “I don’t want to be obsessed with food.” And it’s like my brain almost – I know it’s not just my brain, but I’ll just say it that way. My brain almost can’t compute the idea of well, if I take some of my pleasure out of food – and I know that’s not what you’re saying, either, but it feels linked in my head of if I take some of the pleasure out of food, then what if I’m taking away… It’s like…
Well, actually when I’m saying this now, I’m like it’s almost having to face that then I would have to channel my sensuality through other stuff almost entirely; you know, where if food just became food. And of course I could enjoy it; I’m not saying I couldn’t still derive pleasure from it, but if it didn’t have the same hold on me then I would actually have to do the other things in life that feel scary or confronting. Like in terms of making sure I’m living my life with passion, or when it comes to like… You know. I mean, I tie in food with sexuality quite a lot as well, and when I express my sexuality obviously even that you know at times I do so in a compulsive, bingeing way rather than (laughs), you know… yeah, genuinely creating situations where I’m like yes, I really like this person and I want to express that passion with them rather than just saying I’m going to go…
I don’t know. There are so many layers of this. I know I’m not expressing it, but I assume you can tune in with some of the layers.
ELIAS: I very much understand. And what I would say to you is, it SEEMS as if it is so huge that it is overwhelming and you can’t even think about addressing to this, because it’s so enormous. But what I would say to you is that it’s not as huge as you think it is, and besides that, it’s also a matter of recognizing that when you’re addressing to something, you don’t have to objectively do all the work. Most of the work is done subjectively and you don’t even know it. You’re not even aware of it.
And in that, you’re moving in a direction in which you are becoming more healthy and you are establishing a better well-being, and it’s not actually requiring that much work because most of it is being done subjectively.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: But without thinking about it, you begin to see differences and amaze yourself that, “This is changing and I [audio cut off] very much. Wow! How did all of this change, and I don’t think I was even DOING anything to change that.” It naturally occurs. And that is the wonder and the beauty of how you have created yourselves in relation to even when you have trauma, even when you have developed behaviors that are from the influences of that.
And let me also express to you, I’ve used this word “trauma” several times in our conversation, and I’m aware that you might not be thinking that you had that much trauma. Let me express to you, people that have trauma in their life don’t usually know it (Steph laughs), because they believe that their experiences were normal.
STEPH: Yeah. Yeah.
ELIAS: And in that, I will say to you: Even people that have severe trauma in their lives don’t actually know that until it is expressed to them, because they do think that whatever they experienced, everyone else experienced also. Therefore, that makes it normal.
STEPH: That’s huge. There’s… Yeah, there’s some big stuff that I can feel around that, and that’s so interesting to me.
ELIAS: Let me say in this, for a child, even if you are not underfed, even if your parents provide you with nutritional food and you are offered enough food and it’s not restricted necessarily in quantity but in type, in kind, therefore you have ample access to what your parents believe is healthy food, but then there’s also in your home cookies and cakes and ice cream. But that part of the food might be restricted. You can have one cookie or two cookies. You can have one scoop of ice cream.
In that, those foods are in your home, but you’re being told they’re not actually accessible for you. That is the restrictive part. And let me tell you, for a child, that can create trauma.
STEPH: Yeah. Elias, –
ELIAS: All of [audio cut off] how each child, how each person responds to certain things, and what it does in that small one’s psyche. And it’s not only about the food.
STEPH: Yeah. Can I interrupt you? This is such an interesting topic, and on one level I don’t want to interrupt because I’m like I don’t want to express that thing of lack, but then I’m like ah, there’s other stuff that I really want to address to in this session. (Laughs)
ELIAS: That is very acceptable.
STEPH: Can I…? Actually, one quick thing on that topic though. Would you say potatoes? Because I feel like potatoes, I always feel like are quite good for me on multi levels, but also in terms of they’re something that can sustain me well and I can pair them with other foods, but not… I can use them to make sure I’m getting enough calories but not be obsessed with food. I know I’m not explaining that well, but do you think potatoes are a good choice for me on this journey?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Cool. Okay.
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Perfect. I’m going to jump away from that for now. Sorry. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Very well.
STEPH: (Laughs) With Jonny – Jonny who I’ve been chatting with in Scotland – do I want to meet him or not? Should I meet him, or is that just too complex?
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Now, I would say, do you want to meet him?
STEPH: Well, I think I do, but I just (sighs)… There’s so much crap around it. Like there’s so much… There are times I get annoyed with him. I know that I feel like there’s other lifetime, other focus stuff going on there too, and I really like him but I feel like… I feel like I like him more than he likes me at times. I mean, I know he likes me in other ways, but I can feel disrespected by him in some ways, in terms of expressing interest and stuff. And I know that it’s not like I want to be with him forever. I don’t want to be in a relationship with him necessarily for many reasons. I mean, he’s not available, obviously, for starters. But… yeah.
ELIAS: Then I would say no.
STEPH: Okay.
ELIAS: I would say that if you have this much angst around the situation, then no.
STEPH: But is that –
ELIAS: And –
STEPH: Is that just me generating angst, or is there actually…? Is this coming from an intuitive knowing that I shouldn’t pursue this with him?
ELIAS: I would say that it would be the latter. And that is it just you? Of course it’s you. But it’s you expressing in relation to what you know, and you are trying to move against it.
STEPH: Why does he have such a –
ELIAS: What you know has come from what you think is also, once again, restrictive.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: Therefore your intuition becomes something that you fight with because it’s restrictive. No it’s not. (Steph laughs) It’s simply expressing... It’s YOU expressing to you what is good for you and what isn’t.
STEPH: Why does he have such a hold on me? I mean, can I get a brief explanation of that, but just concisely? Why does he have such a hold on me? Why am I so obsessed with him?
ELIAS: Because he is a physical body or a human that embodies that element that is forbidden.
STEPH: Hm. (Sighs) Okay.
ELIAS: This is the reason that addressing to influences is so important, because it’s not just about food; it’s about everything.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: Everything that you’re drawn to, because it’s forbidden (Steph laughs) or because you shouldn’t.
STEPH: (Laughs) Sorry.
ELIAS: What you shouldn’t do, that’s what you want to do.
STEPH: I’m laughing because oh, that is funny on so many levels. That is funny on so many levels. (Elias laughs) Is this part of why I have some of the – and I’m not going to explain what they are, but I know that you can tune into it – is this why I have some of the kinks that I have? The things that I explore in like roleplay and stuff? Is that part of it?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Wow. Jesus Christ, that’s huge. (Both laugh) Oh god. Oh god. Okay. Will I get over Jonny?
ELIAS: Likely.
STEPH: Okay. Am I feeling drawn to the U.K. because…? I had a great time in the U.K., and part of it for me as well, like Jonny, like I love his accent. There are things that I really enjoy about him. I don’t know if I want to move to the U.K. for a while or not. I think I have it in my head thinking that I’m going to meet someone over there that I’m supposed to be with, but then I’m like, well, I can probably create that in Australia as well, and I just feel a bit lost or confused or overwhelmed around it.
ELIAS: I would say there is no individual that you are SUPPOSED to be with. There are individuals that match you at whatever time in your life. Therefore, if you are dysfunctional (Steph laughs), you will draw people that are also, that match you.
STEPH: Yeah.
ELIAS: If you are moving in a direction of health and well-being, you will draw to you those individuals. I would say that I would also be VERY strongly encouraging you to begin meditating. That will definitely be helpful.
STEPH: Yeah. Is it in my best interest to move back to Melbourne? There’s stuff that I really love about being up here on the Gold Coast, though I suspect that some of that is also tied in with family trauma to some degree. Even though I’m scared of moving back to Melbourne because it means I have to stand on my own two feet quite a lot… Yeah, what do you think? (Laughs)
ELIAS: I’d say you’re feeling that draw for a reason.
STEPH: Yeah. Okay. (Sighs) Okay. And –
ELIAS: Once again, intuition.
STEPH: Yeah. Yeah. So I’ve been kind of – and I know I’m keeping this very surface level. I’m like I want to delve into stuff, but – with stuff around jobs and money, I’ve been a bit reluctant because if I move to Melbourne, I feel like I’m likely going to create a job. On one hand I feel like I need to create something stable, because I don’t know if I trust that I can just manifest a bunch of money without doing a whole lot of work at the moment. But then I’m like if I get a stable job in Melbourne, what if I don’t want to travel? And I know I’m thinking ahead probably too much and focusing on not-enough-ness, but I was like, “I don’t want to interfere with international travel by getting a job that I really like.” I don’t know. It’s hard for me to express this in words right now, but do you have anything that you might want to say around job stuff and money stuff and trust and just being comfortable in myself in these decisions?
ELIAS: I’d say that if you’re moving in a direction of finding a job that is stable but that you want to travel, then I would encourage you to engage and create that type of job that will ALLOW you to travel.
STEPH: (Laughs) Yeah. I just –
ELIAS: You are the author of your destiny, my friend. YOU are the one who is creating that. Therefore, move in a direction of creating what you want and create the type of job that will allow you to continue to travel. Or, in that, create the type of job that will give you a certain amount of off time, a certain amount of holiday time or vacation time. And in that, then that will allow you to travel.
STEPH: I mean, I think I’m feeling pulled again back towards the healing stuff and all of that. And part of it for me is like a fear. I think some of it still is a fear of not being enough in one way or another. And then I’m like… I feel like maybe I feel like I have to prove it to people that I can hold down a normal job, which I know is silly because I don’t want to mess with my own precious time on this world by having some silly admin job that doesn’t mean much to me, but then I also feel like that’s the direction. I don’t know. I know I could probably do an admin job for a year, while I did healing stuff on the side and developed that in myself.
ELIAS: Yes. You can.
STEPH: You know how I keep feeling drawn to admin? That’s not just from a dysfunctional place, right? As in there’s actually a benefit in me kind of moving in that direction for myself maybe, to center?
ELIAS: Yes.
STEPH: Yeah. And if I start paying attention to myself more – I don’t even know why I’m asking this because it’s obviously a yes, but I know it’s a yes intellectually, but really feeling it – if I start paying attention to myself more, I can create a job that will work really well for me? Because right now when I look at jobs I’m like, “I don’t want that one,” or “That doesn’t feel right,” or “I don’t feel experienced enough.” I don’t know. I guess it’s all going to work out, right? (Both laugh) I’m not just creating shit?
ELIAS: You’re not.
STEPH: Sorry. I know that I’ve taken this to a very… I feel like I’m being authentic to myself but I’m not being authentic to myself, because I’m like oh, there are just so many things that I… I don’t know. I’m sure you know there’s a lot going on right now, literally right now. I know I need to trust a bit more. (Sighs)
ELIAS: I would agree, but I would also express that it’s also a matter of you moving in the direction of what you want.
STEPH: Yeah. Do I want more stability right now than I’m giving myself credit for?
ELIAS: (Slight pause) Partially. But you’re also partially moving in the direction of wanting to be exploring. Therefore, I would say it’s a matter of both. And what I would say to you is, right now what you are generating is wanting balance.
STEPH: Yeah. Which I’ve been saying for a long time, and I feel like sometimes I pay lip service to… Oh, I don’t know. I feel I almost like reduce that to like being such a surface thing.
There’s something else I want to ask about that, but before I do, [name omitted] has the essence name Rachel, or had the essence name Rachel. Is she the same essence Rachel as me, or just a similar energy tone to my essence Rachel?
ELIAS: The latter.
STEPH: Okay, cool. Yeah, that’s what I thought.
You said some time ago, like a few years ago, I think when I asked something about winning money or winning a lottery or something, you said something like you felt it was more probable or likely or something that I would be given money more than winning money. Is that because of my own hangups around creating a situation in which I win money? Or is it because just something in the pool of probabilities means that winning money is less likely for me somehow?
ELIAS: More the latter.
STEPH: Okay. So as in I SHOULDN’T put so much focus on…? I’ve done this thing where I got all these little ping-pong balls and wrote numbers on them. And I was going to pull them out of a bag to explore with winning money that way, letting my intuition guide me to the right numbers without my head getting in the way. Could I win money that way? Or is that like that’s just not really that likely for me for one reason or another?
ELIAS: Could you? Yes. Is it likely? Not so much.
STEPH: Is that because if I won a whole bunch of money I wouldn’t be so drawn to pursue things that are healthy for me in this lifetime? (Laughs)
ELIAS: No, it’s because of the element of chance. You believe that there IS an element of chance more than you believe that you are creating it all.
STEPH: But I could change that, right? And then I COULD win money?
ELIAS: You could.
STEPH: Is this…? (Laughs) I’m not trying to be difficult here. Is this conversation right now kind of breaching this whole idea of the rule of interference thing that Tompkin has discussed with someone before about nonphysical energies? Like you and others, when you’re talking to us, you’re not allowed to interfere with something? I don’t know if that wording is very good, but…?
ELIAS: I understand. Your wording is correct, and this would not be that situation.
STEPH: Okay.
ELIAS: But I would say I definitely do understand what you’re expressing. No; I’m simply expressing to you that it’s more unlikely that you would win a considerable amount of money through something such as the lottery.
STEPH: Is there something that I could do aside from healing, like this idea that chance exists? (Laughs) Because it just… I don’t know. Maybe it’s my own hang-ups about money and deservingness and how easy it can be to acquire and stuff like that, but it’s like it would be so much easier and just better if I could just manifest a whole lot of money without having to lose someone in my life that I love – so I’m not talking about inheritance – if I could manifest a huge amount of money, just to make choices easier for me right now. But then I’m like, well is that just my own hangups about thinking that life isn’t easy unless I have a lot of money?
ELIAS: I’d say more the latter, and that having a lot of money doesn’t solve everything else, and therefore, having a lot of money doesn’t necessarily mean that then you’ll be satisfied and happy with everything. And what I would say to you is in that also, you likely would (slight pause) use it in manners that would squander it. (Steph laughs) And therefore you would end up not having it anyway.
STEPH: Yeah. But I’m like, if I had more money,… I mean part of it is, yeah, I could speak to you more often and actually speak about these topics in more depth. (Laughs) And I could travel more.
ELIAS: You likely wouldn’t.
STEPH: Oh really? (Laughs)
ELIAS: I would say if you HAD more money, you likely wouldn’t, because you would be spending it on other things.
STEPH: Yeah. So, okay, maybe the obvious answer is, you know, “Steph, just start meditating more and heal your coping mechanisms with food and sex and all of the other stuff.” But do you have some advice as to what I can…? I don’t know. I can see that maybe I just want to travel because I just want experiences, and I can have experiences here in Australia and I can meet people here in Australia, but I just feel a bit overwhelmed.
ELIAS: You can, and there’s nothing wrong with you wanting to travel. You can meet people in Australia, and you can also meet people in other places. And there is no wrong thing about wanting to travel and have experiences.
STEPH: It’s just more that I get… I’m, like even in saying this I can feel in my body that I’m coming from a stuck place, but –
[The timer for the session rings]
And I’ll wrap this up shortly. But maybe I’m being too obsessed with money because I’m not trusting myself. And I know that we’ve discussed before that probably if I started doing my healing stuff and tarot stuff and all of that, that I would create a lot easier than I think. But do you have any word of advice? And I know this session’s ending, but do you have any word of advice as to just what I can do to feel more myself and happy and less stuck and fearful?
ELIAS: (Chuckles) I’ve given it to you. (Steph laughs) In this entire conversation I’ve been giving it to you. In everything I’ve said to you, I’ve been giving you that advice. Therefore, if you put it all together and you listen to it, you will hear that I’ve been expressing that advice to you and what to do throughout the entire conversation.
STEPH: Yeah. Okay. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And I would say what you want is a crystal ball answer, not the answers that you’ve gotten but magic answers that will magically appear and allow you to move in directions that are easy and fun and include a lot of money. (Steph laughs, then Elias chuckles) I’ve been listening. (Laughs) I would say that it’s not that everything is difficult – and that’s also what I said to you: It’s NOT so hard. And in that, you’re not facing Mount Everest that you must climb to the summit with. No, it’s not difficult. And in that, yes, it is a matter of playing attention and a matter of realizing and recognizing when you are engaging familiar behaviors and being intentional and changing those behaviors.
But in that, I would say that when you know where those behaviors come from, it can be easier to address to them. And I would also say that we have discussed much in this conversation, and in that, you can actually see, if you re-engage the conversation, how much we have uncovered (Steph laughs) and how much advice I have given you. (Chuckles)
STEPH: Yeah. Thank you, Elias. I know that I have times of not sounding or seeming like I’m trusting, and like taking it away from certain deep topics and maybe… I feel like sometimes I’m frustrating, and I know that you don’t really necessarily express frustration in the way that I’m thinking of, but –
ELIAS: No, no. I would say definitely not.
STEPH: Thank you.
ELIAS: And what I would also say to you is, even when you change the subject, it doesn’t matter. Everything is interconnected.
STEPH: Okay.
ELIAS: Therefore, everything that you have spoken about is all interconnected, even your questions about moving or your questions about the other individual and why you’re drawn to him. It’s all interconnected.
STEPH: Okay.
ELIAS: Therefore, I would say that everything that we have discussed has been purposeful.
STEPH: (Laughs) All right. I’ll try and let go of my feelings of feeling like I’m… I don’t know. Yeah. My stuff around rejection and worrying that I’m not enough, because I know that’s a big piece of it as well.
I love you. Thank you for engaging me.
ELIAS: And I express tremendous love to you, and I know that you can accomplish.
STEPH: Thank you.
ELIAS: In that, you have my energy with you constantly to be helping. And I have faith in you, even in the places that you don’t. (Steph laughs) In that, I would say to you my dear friend, in tremendous love and in great appreciation and love of our friendship, I shall greatly be looking forward to our next meeting.
STEPH: Me too.
ELIAS: In great support as always, au revoir.
STEPH: Thanks, Elias. ‘Bye.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 6 minutes)
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