Automatic Responses, Strong Habits, Supporting Someone
Topics:
“Reflections of Personal Energy”
“Expressing Automatically”
“Repetitive Action and Balance”
“Acknowledge What Another Feels, Because It’s Real”
Wednesday, March 13, 2024 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Ben (Sumarian)
ELIAS: Good afternoon.
BEN: Oh good afternoon, Elias. It's been rather short since our last meeting.
ELIAS: And?
BEN: And I have a few things that I was curious about so I said, “Why wait? Just go ahead and contact your buddy.” And that's what I did.
ELIAS: Very well.
BEN: So I'll start with some curiosities. And I have a question for my brother and his wife, maybe later on. A while ago, I took my miniature car collection down and stored it away for all kinds of reasons, and I thought that perhaps this was a connection with my concurrent focus Freddy in El Paso that's a car collector. Maybe he was selling his collection or getting rid of it. Is that correct?
ELIAS: (Pause) Yes.
BEN: Did he sell his collection?
ELIAS: Not entirely. Not yet.
BEN: Oh, so that was a move on his part to minimize his collection, to get rid of a few cars?
ELIAS: Yes.
BEN: Wow. And one day I got his wife's name, I think. And she's called Tracy?
ELIAS: (Pause) Correct.
BEN: Oh, okay. So that just goes to show you that everything is connected all the time. It's just a matter of paying attention to those little hints.
ELIAS: I very much agree. Yes.
BEN: Okay. Last time we talked about how everything is an extension of myself, and we talked about the issues with my car and the transmission and that the car is reflecting my energy in a similar manner to Lawrence's car that you mentioned. And ever since we mentioned that, the issue stopped because I started paying attention to my energy. And unless I'm extremely agitated, the car drives perfectly as it should, which is quite well.
ELIAS: Congratulations.
BEN: And the interesting thing about reflections is that one day I got back from work with the car and the car was okay, but I was a bit agitated and I took my electric scooter for a ride. And as I started riding the scooter, the scooter exhibited the same symptoms that the car did, even though it doesn't have a transmission. (Elias laughs) That was hilarious. And I stopped and I said this couldn't be. But it was.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And that, my friend, is your validation that it's about your energy.
BEN: And so if I don't, you know, malfunction the car, I'll do it to my scooter. I'll do it to anything. It's... Imagery's abstract. So it's about my energy and how it gets translated?
ELIAS: Correct.
BEN: Huh. So another thing with the scooter is a few weeks ago, I got back from work again and I was all excited, in a good mood, and instead of relaxing, I took the scooter out for a ride again. And this time I could feel that I was a little bit overloaded in energy and the scooter was driving a little bit too well, a little too fast, accelerating too quickly, having more power, which for a second got me excited. But two days later when I came to start the scooter, it wouldn't start and I found out that I had burned the battery circuit. And that was another example of my intense energy that actually burned a part in the scooter?
ELIAS: Correct.
BEN: And the fact that the scooter drove as excited as I was, at least for a while, is that part of that reflection? Before it burned, it was going wild, like I've never seen it drive.
ELIAS: Yes, I would agree.
BEN: Okay. Two days ago, I went to the market with the scooter and for some ridiculously dumb reason, I tried to pass a car on the right and the car didn't see me and he ran my scooter over, not my foot, creating some damage to the scooter. And the interesting thing about that event is that nobody lost their temper. Nobody was angry. Nobody was blaming anybody. We all helped each other. The driver gave me a ride home. Somebody gave me a tip where to fix the scooter. It was almost like a scene from a movie that was orchestrated by me and with all of these other actors. That's what it felt like.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I would say that that is excellent, that you were able to be connecting with other people and that the situation did not end up being in conflict or angry and in that, that regardless of what happens, it gives you an example of how things can be resolved in an amiable capacity.
BEN: And would that depend mostly on the energy that I was projecting at that moment? Or it would depend on the personalities involved, even though I probably attracted them?
ELIAS: You attracted them. Therefore yes, it's about your energy that you are projecting at the time.
BEN: Because I came home from that event and apart from the initial irritation that I was a bit clumsy and not paying attention, everything else, I was just laughing at the whole thing and how well it turned out that I found the spare parts because of that guy that told me where to go. So it's like we were working together to create that event and within five minutes it was over. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And I would say congratulations.
BEN: I do like the—
ELIAS: Well done, my friend.
BEN: Thank you. What I wanted to say is that I really appreciate the fact that regardless of what the event is, you can always experience it or perceive it in an interesting manner rather than just react automatically. That's what's been happening with anything.
ELIAS: THAT is a tremendous lesson, my friend, and I would be acknowledging you in it because you're correct. You determine the outcome of any situation and you choose what you feel.
BEN: Wow, that sounds like a director in a movie. (Elias laughs)
Okay, so something about my car, which is reflecting me too, there is… the car's transmission has this electronic lock that prevents me from shifting until I press the brakes. Now since I've had the car, most of the time that lock does not work, and I have to sort of manually bypass it using this emergency button. But sometimes the button can work for months at a time or for days at a time and I can't really see if that lock is translating something specific about my energy when I enter the car, when I start the engine, because it feels different than what happened with the transmission. What is the difference here?
ELIAS: And what is your impression?
BEN: The only thing I feel when I start the car is a kind of mild urgency to get going. But I also said yesterday, because it's a shifter, I always say the shifter maybe has to do (laughs) with the shift in consciousness.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) I would say sometimes for YOU, that would be correct. (Chuckles)
BEN: But what is different about this part that malfunctions, even when I'm when I think that I'm relaxed and calm and just moving along.
ELIAS: Now; how—
BEN: It's like it doesn't let me— Yes?
ELIAS: It's about how you're directing. Because in that, it's about how you are manually engaging the car. And in that, that has to do with how you’re directing. It's not simply about your energy in relation to how you're feeling. It's about your energy and how you're directing it.
BEN: But what are the clues that can fill me in on how I'm directing my energy? I mean, it's not the senses. It's energy’s…. something that is comprehensive. What…? It's not only what am I paying attention to, either.
ELIAS: Correct. I would say that it's partially what you're paying attention to. It's partially about your concentration. It's also partially about what you do automatically.
BEN: What I do automatically in a physical manner in the car with the transmission? Or automatic responses that I have?
ELIAS: Automatic responses.
BEN: And what would one of those responses be? I'm sort of not really able to figure out. For example—
ELIAS: It doesn't, it doesn't mean necessarily in that precise moment. It's more of an example of automatic responses in general. that you don't always realize what you are expressing automatically. And that's the point, is that you're expressing on automatic pilot at times and you don't necessarily realize what that's doing. That's what this imagery is showing you, and has been for a time framework. It's not new.
BEN: No it's not. It's been going on for years. Huh. So because everything is connected, these automatic responses or reactions could be at any other time in relation to any other direction, and they just culminate—
ELIAS: Correct
BEN: —and they sort of end up in that moment where I'm trying to move the shifter and it's stuck?
ELIAS: Correct. And in that, it's about how automatic responses affect your choices. And many times automatic responses also make you stuck, even though you don't always notice that. Or you might feel it or notice it, but you're not actually making the connection. Such as if you're in a situation and someone does something or has a behavior that makes you angry or frustrates you, that's an automatic response or reaction most of the time. And you're not thinking about that being an automatic reaction, you're concentrated on what the other individual is doing and that its irritating. Or situations. And in that, you're not necessarily paying attention in a capacity of noticing that that's an automatic reaction. You're too busy paying attention to the outside source.
BEN: And probably the feeling that results from that also.
ELIAS: Yes. Yes.
BEN: Yeah. What you mentioned happens at work quite often with individuals and sometimes it's more relaxed, but sometimes I get irritated for nothing. And it's obviously not what I would want to choose, but I do choose it automatically.
ELIAS: Correct. And in that, it's an automatic reaction. And in the moment, you're not thinking about or paying attention to the factor that that is an automatic reaction. Your attention is busy in relation to whatever it is that caused you to react. You're too busy paying attention to that outside source and having that automatic reaction.
BEN: So that would remind me of an example you gave once about Tiger Woods, or it could be Roger Federer, that top athletes are able to very quickly re-center, and not continuing to automatically react to a point lost or a game lost or a momentary frustration.
ELIAS: Correct. Otherwise they would affect their game tremendously. I would say that there were times past when that individual wasn't doing that and his game was tremendously affected. But in that, then it teaches them to pay attention to what he's doing and whether he is reacting to something or not.
BEN: And that's how they excel, by being able to quickly re-center. That's why they're a little bit above the other people.
ELIAS: Different.
BEN: Different.
ELIAS: Not above.
BEN: Right. Okay, so I need to practice that and pay attention. All right.
Let's talk a little bit about my body. There is this ongoing mild pain in my left arm that's been going on for weeks. And I think it has to do with some nerve, because the pain moves from my wrist to my elbow to my shoulder. I think I've had this once in the past and never figured it out and then it went away. And now it's back, and I really can't understand what is going on unless my body's communicating something to me that he's in disarray or ill or something. But maybe you can help me out here.
ELIAS: What have you been doing with your hand repetitively?
BEN: Drumming. Not every—
ELIAS: I would say it's the repetitive movement of your hand that's affecting your wrist, and that actually can radiate up your arm to your elbow and even up to your shoulder at times.
BEN: That's interesting, because I've been drumming for years. I mean, I don't drum that much every day. I drum maybe an hour, but maybe it's the intensity.
ELIAS: That, that doesn't matter. Actually, this is something that many people say: “I've been doing this action for years and it never bothered me.” But that's (chuckles) the point, is that at any given moment and any given time, that action that you've been doing for years has accumulated in relation to your hand or your wrist, and eventually it can actually affect in a direction in which your wrist begins reacting.
BEN: And the remedy—
ELIAS: The factor that—
BEN: Yes?
ELIAS: —you've been doing something for years – and this also applies to other things, such as foods that you've been eating for years and suddenly you have a reaction to it, or something that you've been engaging and hasn't been bothersome to you for years, and suddenly it's very irritating. It doesn't matter how long you've been doing something without a reaction. It's not unusual for the body at some point to react in an adverse manner to something that has been happening repetitively.
BEN: But so the communication here in my case is, is what? Is to drum less, to drum differently, to pay attention to…? I mean, until it didn't hurt, I didn't think I was doing anything extreme. I mean, obviously I'm not going to stop drumming. But...
ELIAS: It's not about extreme. It doesn't mean that you're doing something in extreme. I would say that it's a matter of balance, and therefore paying attention. That you may be wanting to be drumming, but perhaps pay attention to how much time you're engaging doing it and take breaks.
BEN: Yeah, because history is full of famous drummers that got almost crippled at some point. Phil Collins is one of them.
ELIAS: It's a matter of balance and paying attention and in that, moving in a direction in which you're not overextending yourself.
BEN: So at this point, would it be advantageous to stop for a while? Or just to reduce the amount until it sort of heals? It feels like an inflammation.
ELIAS: I would say it likely would be helpful to allow it to rest for a time. But I would also say, if you absolutely don't want to do that, then I would very strongly encourage you to be taking breaks and to not be engaging the action as long of a time framework when you are doing it.
BEN: Okay. That sounds good. I'll give it a try.
We have a few minutes. And I was talking to my brother – and we talked about his wife a few months ago –and his wife is going through a very difficult and distressing period with ups and downs, and pains and hospitals and doctors and medications. And my brother asked me to ask you: what would be the best way to support and accompany her during these times where it seems like she's teetering between life and death?
ELIAS: (Pause) Listen to her and ask her questions about what she feels is the greatest support to her. And in that, don't disagree with her. You can disagree with her internally, but don't disagree with her to her. Meaning If she expresses something, don't say, “No, that's not true. You'll be fine.” If she is expressing somewhat of a hopelessness at times, don't attempt to give her a pep talk. Acknowledge what she feels because it's real. And in that you don't always have to agree with it, but it's important to acknowledge her.
And therefore I would say that being with her, listening to her, acknowledging her in what she expresses, and also expressing to her in a manner that you are doing everything with her. You're not experiencing everything she's experiencing, but you're moving through the experience with her as her partner. And reinforce that to her and do what you're already doing, express how much you love her. And THAT is very important.
BEN: Hm. It is distressing for the individuals around her, even though we are far away. But it's hard to hear what she's going through, and there's not much that I or anybody else can do. I think the doctors cannot really do much at this point.
ELIAS: And that generates a distressing situation and a feeling of helplessness. I very much understand, but it's very important not to focus on that but to focus on what you can do and what you are doing by being supportive and being present. And in that, being present is a very important and valuable aspect. Not projecting futurely even to tomorrow, but being in today.
BEN: All right. Okay, I'll relay that information to him and we will see what Daise will say.
I was wondering, is my cat occasionally coughing? I thought for a second that perhaps he's ill. Perhaps he has asthma, but he's eating more or less as normal. And is he healthy?
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
ELIAS: Yes.
BEN: He is?
ELIAS: Yes.
BEN: Great.
ELIAS: And I would say that at times, he may be coughing in relation to having a mild allergy to some environmental aspect. And I would also say that it's not unusual for cats to cough in relation to what they swallow.
BEN: Oh. Which is sometimes a lot of hair, that they lick off their fur.
ELIAS: Yes.
BEN: Okay.
Okay Elias, the buzzer just went off. It's been a very interesting conversation and we will probably meet again quite soon. So thank you for everything.
ELIAS: You're very welcome, my friend. I shall be looking forward to our next meeting.
In tremendous encouragement to you, great acknowledgment in relation to what you've been presenting to yourself and the understanding that you have expressed in relation to that, and an acknowledgment of your accomplishments.
Until our next meeting, my dear friend, in great love and affection to you, au revoir.
BEN: Bye bye.
(Elias departs after 32 minutes)
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