Exploring Desire and Intent
Topics:
“Exploring Desire and Intent”
“Connecting With Lawrence for Comfort”
“Associations, Emotions and Memories”
“Definition of Sadness”
Wednesday, July 12, 2017 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Jean (Lyla)
ELIAS: Good morning!
JEAN: Oh, good morning, Elias!
ELIAS: (Laughs) And how are you proceeding?
JEAN: I am proceeding quite well. I mean, I’ve had kind of a tough week, I think, between some stuff going on with some counterpart actions. But you know, it was all a release of energy and moving to next levels, and it’s all good.
ELIAS: Very well.
JEAN: It’s all good. I’d like to kind of delve into some of the meat and potatoes of some of the stuff that I haven’t been ready to talk about yet. Is that acceptable with you?
ELIAS: Definitely.
JEAN: Okay. Can I start out with a fun question?
ELIAS: Yes.
JEAN: I have in a batch of one of my new kittens, we’ve identified one of them as a complete remanifestation. And I have another one that I’ve become quite fond of, and it’s a little grey one with a snip on its face. Is he a complete remanifestation of another cat?
ELIAS: Yes, and…?
JEAN: Is it Sugar Bear?
ELIAS: Yes.
JEAN: Oh my god! When he slept on my head last night, that was the clue. (Elias laughs) That is just amazing. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are welcome.
JEAN: And then I’d like to put in one dream imagery, if I may.
ELIAS: Very well.
JEAN: This was several months ago, and it was a very vivid dream, possibly a projection, I don’t know. But I was sleeping up here beside my husband in bed, and I heard coming up the stairs some very, very large, heavy footsteps, and it walked over. I could tell it was a large man, and it walked over to the bed and it stopped and it leaned over and peered at us. It woke me up immediately, and it frightened me so much the only think I could do was just kind of lay there and play dead, because I didn’t know what else to do. And of course my husband slept right through it.
And then this giant man – I mean, he’s huge – he turns around and he walks away and he goes back downstairs, and I hear him shuffling around downstairs. So at that point I grab my husband and I shake him awake and I said, “There’s an intruder in the house. You’ve got to go down and you’ve got to deal with it.” And he’s like, (mocking) “Ha ha ha ha ha!” So I shove him toward the steps, and then he’s like, “Wait! I need something to protect myself,” and we look around and the only thing I could find is a broom, so I throw a broom at him. I said, “Now go downstairs and deal with it.” (Laughs)
So at that point, I’m looking for escape routes just in case. If something I hear downstairs doesn’t sound too good, I’m leaving. But then after a few minutes I hear my husband giggling and cracking up with this person downstairs, and it pisses me off. I mean, he makes friends with everything, and I’m like, “How dare he make friends with this intruder into our house?” So I start running down the steps, and I’m so mad I’m bouncing off the walls. I get down there, and he’s standing in the kitchen and this huge giant of a man is trying to sit in one of the chairs. He just kind of falls out of it, and they’re laughing and giggling and having a good time.
And I look at the giant and I said, “Have you been hanging around my house, outside my house? Are you the one?” and he says, “Yes, I am.” Because I’ve had experiences where I see light bodies around my house. And I said, “Well, why are you here?” and he said, “Because you asked for me to be here.” And then at that moment he turns into kind of like a cyclone and spins above my head, and then goes above my head and he turns into a giant skeleton. So I’m standing there looking between his legs into his skeleton from below up, which freaks me out. So then I run upstairs and crawl in the bed and put the covers over my head, and I’m trying to call Mary because I’m like, “I’ve got to talk to Elias about this.” And later on, Jean-François asked you about it, and you confirmed that that was Lawrence. Can you tell me about that?
ELIAS: I would express that this was a connecting that you did with Lawrence. Let me also express to you that this essence has a tremendous ability to comfort, which I would express that your interaction and your imagery is very understandable, and for the most part to be expected, because this essence generates an action of comfort by drawing out. Therefore, it is not surprising that you would create this image of something tremendously large and perceive it to be somewhat threatening and that it is something that you want to shrink back from, because your wounds are very large, and pulling them forward is difficult, and that can feel very threatening. Therefore, it is considerably understandable, the imagery that you generated in relation to this encounter. And I would express that it was an encounter, and that that energy was projected, yes, accurately, because you asked. You didn’t necessarily objectively ask, but your desire is asking for that release and that comfort and, in a manner of speaking, that healing – which no other essence can do for you, but other essences can aid.
JEAN: Okay. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are welcome.
JEAN: I understand exactly what you’re saying, and it’s interesting that I, at the last minute, decided to ask about this dream, knowing the topic that I wanted to bring up. And… yeah.
ELIAS: There are no coincidences or accidents.
JEAN: I know. I know. Elias, this is the first time I’ve done a session with no notes in front of me, and as they say in the South, I feel naked. (Both laugh) But I think —
ELIAS: Naked is a good position to be in.
JEAN: You know, absolutely. And so I think I just kind of want… I’m ready to pull out the fork, the knife and the meat sauce and start going a little bit deeper into this issue. And where I think I’d like to begin – and if you would just direct it right at me, you know, and not a hypothetical situation, because I’m ready to hear it – where I get confused still is, I’ll wake up in the morning and I’ll open my eyes and I’ll still say, “What the fuck happened?” Because my life is so different than it used to be.
You know, I remember as a little girl just being horse crazy in Carolina Beach, North Carolina, where there’s absolutely no horses. And I remember one day watching the Kentucky Derby in the back bedroom on a little black-and-white TV and thinking, god, somehow, someday, I’m going to be involved in that. And Elias, just through synchronicities and forward action and everything else, goddam I made it right into the middle of it all! I ended up taking care of six or seven Kentucky Derby winners and went to about eight or nine Derbies and just was in the midst of that whole scene.
And then it just all kind of came apart. I am where I am now, and in one sense I am starting to really like where I am now. In fact, I was in a yoga class the other morning, and right at the end I was looking up from the floor and seeing the curtains blow in the breeze, and I had this feeling come upon me that I was no longer an imposter, you know, trying to live my life (sighs) because I had no other choice. I felt like I “clicked in” to my life, if that makes any sense, and it really reminded me of the dream imagery you discussed with me a while back of replacing the little pigs on the tree with birds.
But I’m just not understanding where my desire fit into that, and how my intent may have fit into all that. Does that make sense? That’s kind of the big —
ELIAS: Yes.
Now; stop momentarily.
Now; first, express your intent.
JEAN: Thank you, because you told me my intent very early in my sessions, and I may not have understood it then, but I believe you told me that it was something like exploring conventionality and somewhat challenging the status quo.
ELIAS: Correct.
Now; express what you identify and perceive to be your desire.
JEAN: (Breathes out sharply) Well, that’s where I get kind of wrapped up into wants versus desires. I think my desire is… I get so confused, Elias, because on one hand I like living a very, very quiet life with my creatures, but at the other end I like to intersperse that with very exciting things. And I think about in my focus symbol there’s that white jaguar, and cats will tend to sleep like twenty-two hours a day, but when they’re active they’re really fucking active, you know? And I know when I got on that wheel and was doing that I was just going constantly, and there was none of that twenty-two hours of the quiet, introspective time. Am I close?
ELIAS: You are explaining your preferences, and you are also explaining somewhat of your natural movement, but that was not the question. The question was, “What do you perceive and define as your desire?”
JEAN: Well, we touched upon this, I think, in another session once when, at least with creatures, it was one, I honor all life.
ELIAS: Correct.
JEAN: And my desire was to treat myself as well as I treated everything outside of me.
ELIAS: Correct.
JEAN: And nurturing.
ELIAS: Correct. I would express that your desire includes those expressions, and that your desire is to express yourself in a genuine manner in everything you do, to be genuine and to allow yourself to express that genuineness in everything you do. That includes expanding yourself and growing to express greater and greater abilities to express that genuineness in everything you do.
Now; in that, I would say that in relation to your intent and your desire, everything that you have done has been part of that.
Let me express to you, my friend, you don’t only express your desire or your intent when you are happy. You don’t only express your desire and your intent when you are moving in directions that you want. Your desire moves you in the direction of accomplishing that expression, but it doesn’t necessarily accomplish that only in a comfortable manner. In actuality, in many situations with most individuals in relation to their desire, there are points in which, in conjunction with your desire, you move in directions and you experience in manners that can be significantly uncomfortable, because it clarifies your desire. And your intent is always being expressed, regardless of whether you are comfortable or uncomfortable.
Now; let me also express to you that as a small one, your love of horses, your love of animals, was very genuine. Your fascination with horses was very genuine. Your curiosity and your fascination with these particular types of horses – thoroughbreds and the majesty of them —
JEAN: Oh yeah.
ELIAS: — the strength, the power, the agility, the determination that they express, everything about them was fascinating and curious and drawing to you. And in that, you were genuinely expressing a very real affection and appreciation and love for these creatures. Moving in the direction of combining your determination with theirs, taking cues from them and expressing them in yourself, was very natural and very in keeping with your intent.
As an aside, let me also express to you that when I define an intent with you, I am expressing what that exploration is in very general, simple terms. When you are experiencing it, you are not merely experiencing one angle of it. You are exploring every angle of it. Therefore, if your intent is exploring conventionality, if your intent is exploring deviations in that, you explore ALL of the avenues of that. Therefore, you explore what is conventional, what isn’t conventional, what all the different branches of being conventional might be, all the different expressions that challenge that, all the different directions that move in difference to that, exploring all of the avenues that you assess are successful and aren’t successful. That doesn’t mean you are necessarily exploring when you agree with them or not; you are exploring a direction.
And in that exploration, your desire fits into that and complements your intent by steering you in directions to evaluate what you do agree with, what you don’t agree with, what is genuine for you, what is not genuine for you, what is comfortable, what isn’t comfortable. This is the reality that you exist in. You exist in a reality in which duplicity is a tremendous, major piece – every day, every moment of your reality – because it is that part that allows you to assess what you like, what you don’t like, what you prefer, what you don’t prefer, what is comfortable, what isn’t comfortable, what you connect to as right, what you connect to as wrong, and how you assess good and bad. And you do this in every moment of every day of your existence.
That is what associations are. Every experience you generate, regardless of what it is – whether it is walking across a room or sipping a cup of tea or engaging a tremendous conflict in a relationship, or losing a job, or experiencing tremendous loss or death, or generating incredible excitement and overwhelming love – everything you experience, you evaluate in relation to that belief system of duplicity, because you are emotional beings. And being emotional beings, you generate assessments with every experience that you have, and you assess them to be good, bad or neutral.
And with some experiences, those experiences that incorporate intense emotional expressions and connections, you assess them stronger in the associations that you generate. And in that, every single experience that you have has an association attached to it. Every single experience and association becomes a memory. Memories don’t disappear, you don’t get rid of them, you don’t eliminate them; you have them. And because associations are attached to them, you don’t get rid of them either. But although you don’t change the associations with memories, you can change your perception of them. That is an important piece.
But moving back to the partnership of intent and desire, as you grew and as you connected more and more to these particular animals you also, in that connection, drew from them. Even before you ever physically encountered one, you were already drawing energy from them in reinforcing that determination in yourself, that connection, which was very genuine. It still is very genuine. In that, drawing on that tremendous determination from these creatures, it aided you in moving in the directions that you moved in and generating the choices that you did, and choosing to move in specific directions that would place you in the heart of that arena. And it did, and it was considerably successful.
And in that, once again, in the combination and the complement of your desire and your intent you explored conventional directions, and your desire aided you in evaluating what was genuine for you and what wasn’t. And through that process, you learned objectively what your preferences are, what is important to you, what genuineness you express in relation to these creatures and ALL creatures. You used these creatures as a focal point, a center point; but in that, they aided you in evaluating what your genuineness is with ALL creatures and yourself.
And pushing that forward and emphasizing that in relation to your intent and your desire – which have never left you! – it moved in a direction – YOU moved in a direction of, in a manner of speaking, destroying everything that you perceived was moving in the direction of destroying you.
JEAN: Wow!
ELIAS: But the manner in which you destroyed it (pause) nearly created it disappearing or moving away from you, rather than generated actual physical destruction. You didn’t destroy them, or any of it, by killing anything, but you destroyed it all by creating it to disappear and not be a part of your life, and therefore gave yourself the opportunity to change your perception.
Now, changing your perception has not necessarily entirely occurred yet, but you opened that door for it to happen by destroying what was threatening to destroy you. The memories, the associations are there; they are present; they are held. They always will be, but your perception of them can now begin to change. And your perception of them is what is significantly important, because that affects how you experience in relation to memory. That affects what you hold on to, what you let go, what you accept, what you don’t accept. It affects your choices and how you move and what you feel.
When your perception changes of a memory and an association, it changes what you feel. I will express to you, that does not mean that while you continue within this physical reality that you will realistically likely ever express a point in which you DON’T feel about those memories, but what you feel about those memories can change dramatically. (Pause)
Let me express to you a significant point – and at this point I would also express to you that if you are so choosing, you can share this with Michael. Sadness is the one signal and the one emotional expression that is the closest to anger. And the reason that it is the closest to anger is not in relation to what you feel. It is not the quality of the signal. It is what lies beneath it and what moves hand in hand with it, is that sadness is the expression of perceiving yourself to be powerless: you are helpless to generate any choice. And THAT is the reason that the signal, the feeling of sadness, is so strong and is so immobilizing, because that is the one expression that influences your perception in the direction of believing that you are entirely helpless and therefore you are powerless in relation to whatever is creating that sadness.
What I would say to you, to Michael, to anyone that is experiencing that sadness – and I’m aware you understand what I am expressing, because you have been experiencing that sadness for a considerable time framework and it can be ongoing for long periods of time. (Jean is very emotional here.) And let me express to you that this is the one feeling that can be considerably difficult to discern whether it is a “now” or a “then” feeling, because —
JEAN: (Whispers) Yeah, yeah.
ELIAS: – because sadness is the one feeling that can continue to reoccur and not be a “then” feeling.
JEAN: Wow.
ELIAS: Because it is so easily triggered by all of your senses. And in that, your senses are inputting “now” information, and when you experience that sadness, it can be very frequently a “now” feeling, regardless that the subject of it may be past. And that is the reason that this is the one feeling that you as emotional beings can express for considerably long time frameworks (pause), because you are not necessarily tapping into a “then” feeling. You are experiencing, over and over and over, “now” feelings.
JEAN: Wow!
ELIAS: This is the reason that individuals describe sadness as being expressed in waves. That is very accurate, because it IS expressed in waves because it is expressed now, over and over and over and over again, until your perception changes. (Pause)
When your perception changes, then the experience of that feeling over and over and over again also changes. It is not that it disappears, but it does change, and it stops becoming immobilizing. It stops being overwhelming, because the powerless and the helpless aspect of it stop.
But for as long as you hold the perception of the powerlessness and the helplessness, then that expression of the waves of sadness continues on and on and on. And that can continue for considerably long time frameworks, years and years and years, dependent upon the individual.
I would express in this moment a tremendous acknowledgment to you, that you expressed the bravery this day to address this subject, because I am tremendously aware that until this point you were not ready to address this, and you were not ready to hear what I am expressing. But you are now, and THAT is an enormous step forward.
JEAN: Thank you. (Pause)
ELIAS: The aspect that you can share with Michael is merely an encouragement that the signals and the emotional expressions that are being generated at this point are not “then” feelings, and the less that those feelings are fought with – meaning the less they are attempted to be pushed away – the easier it will be to move into (pause) letting go of that helplessness and powerlessness. The more they are squelched, the more they are pushed, the longer it will be before that powerlessness and helplessness can be let go – and YOU can testify to that. (Jean chuckles)
Therefore, the encouragement is to feel, not NOT to feel. And make no mistake, I am not expressing, “Embrace your feeling. Love your feeling” – no. They are not comfortable, and I am not expressing to love them or to embrace them. You don’t have to like them, but not to fight with them, not to push away, not to attempt to fix, not to replace. (Pause)
That is what you are learning now, and have been. I would express that you have been being considerably successful at that within this past year, and that has allowed you to move to this point, in which you can actually begin to regain that power and know that you aren’t helpless, you never were. Throughout all of these experiences, you weren’t helpless in any of it, and you weren’t powerless in any of it. You had the power to move yourself and to destroy what was threatening to destroy you before it did.
JEAN: Wow.
ELIAS: And although you may think to yourself that you did nothing, that you ran away, that you retreated and engaged no activities, I would very much disagree. I would express, you didn’t run away; you removed yourself from the destruction (Jean sighs) to not be a part of the destruction. And in that, you didn’t do nothing. You didn’t plant yourself in a room and do nothing for a year. That is an incorrect assessment. That isn’t what you did. (Jean chuckles) What you did was you retreated and allowed yourself to readjust. You allowed yourself, your mind, your emotions, your body, everything that is you, to reconfigure, to recognize that everything in your life wasn’t a lie, but that it wasn’t everything you expected – but then, that is the nature of expectations.
And in that, it gave you time. You gave yourself time to feel, not feel, most of all to not analyze, but rather to let it all be what it was – which in itself was a tremendous lesson. Although you were not objectively defining it at that time, NOW you can define it, NOW you can understand what that means, to let something be what it is. It is what it is. It is not your job or your responsibility to change; it is your responsibility to honor you – not change an industry, but to be you and to be genuine, and in that, to be an example.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
Because example is the most powerful expression that humans learn from. (Pause)
Therefore what I would say to you, my dear friend, is that contrary to what your perception has been for a considerable time framework, what you actually did was considerably different from what you think you did. And in all of that, you accomplished volumes.
JEAN: Wow, Elias! Holy shit! (Laughs)
ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend, when individuals don’t know how to change something that appears to them to be much larger than themself, but they can’t reconcile themselves with it, when individuals cannot reconcile themself with situations or the choices of other individuals and they see them as being bigger than themselves, generally their choices move in directions that are considerably not comfortable, but they accomplish what they want. They accomplish their desire, but not generally in a comfortable manner – but that is because you don’t have the awareness at the time to do anything else.
If you had the awareness at the time, you wouldn’t perceive other individuals or situations or an industry to be bigger than you. If something is bigger than you at any particular point, then you don’t have the awareness yet to address to it in a manner that is more comfortable, because you can’t see your choices. But that is not wrong, it merely is a part of your development.
JEAN: Elias, this was just an amazing session. And wow, I’m just going to have to process then, but oh my god, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. And I would express tremendous congratulations to you. You have accomplished so much more than you think yet, but you will know soon. (Chuckles)
JEAN: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are tremendously welcome. I express exceptional lovingness to you, my dear friend. I shall greatly be anticipating our meeting soon.
JEAN: Yes, me too!
ELIAS: And I encourage you tremendously.
JEAN: Thank you.
ELIAS: In wondrous lovingness, as always, au revoir.
JEAN: Au revoir.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 3 minutes)
Copyright 2017 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.