Yes and No and the Action of Choice
Topics:
Session 20150410
“Yes and No and the Action of Choice”
“Placing Yourself in the Primary Position”
“Engaging a Job”
Friday, April 10, 2015 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Jason (Spensar)
ELIAS: Good day!
JASON: Hi, Elias.
ELIAS: (Laughs) And what shall we discuss now?
JASON: I wanted to start with asking about digging into this Yes and No topic that you’ve been talking about. I think in my last session you had mentioned that I would find it very useful, but at the time I wasn’t ready to dig into it.
ELIAS: Both. And what have you been noticing thus far?
JASON: Well...
ELIAS: Or ARE you noticing? (Laughs)
JASON: If you could just give me one second, I’m actually at work and someone’s just trying to send a message here. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Very well.
JASON: (Pause) Okay. I think that should take care of it; sorry about that.
The question would be, when I look at some of the examples that you’ve talked about the Yes and No subject and the constructs associated with the yes and no, I’m not clear what the use is of focusing on the yes and no, whether it is just a more precise method to get people to pay attention to what they’re doing or if there is something more to it.
ELIAS: Ah! Both. What I would express to you is, first of all, the reason that this is important is that, other than the word love, yes and no are the most important, most used words in any language, in EVERY language. These three words—“yes,” “no,” “love”—these are the three words that are used in every language, and the MOST used.
But what is significant about all three of these words is that you do not actually have fixed definitions for them. They are very much used in a perceptual manner, meaning that their meanings are used or expressed very much in conjunction with perception, and that these words are actually tremendously important, for they DO incorporate fixed meanings. You do not use them with fixed meanings, but they have fixed meanings. And in this, they are all three the most influencing words in relation to action, behavior and choices in your reality.
They also are all three very much engaged with ALL of your constructs. Therefore they are intertwined with everything you do, everything you think, everything you feel, and every behavior and choice that you engage—in every moment! In this, the reason that the yes and no is so important is that it is a part of expanding your awareness and becoming more self-aware, rather than existing and operating from the position of automatic pilot. For, yes and no are the basis of all choice; therefore, they are either your liberator or they are your jailor. They either allow you freedom, or they restrict you and cage you. And in this, these two small words incorporate the most significance of any words in any language. They are the most influencing of everything in your life.
And for the most part, you are unaware of them. For the most part, you pay little, if any, attention to their involvement in everything you do, and how you think, and what you feel. And therefore, also, you pay little attention to their interplay and their role in your perception, which is the mechanism that creates ALL of your reality. That places these two words in a very important position, and your awareness of them in a very important position, for in not being aware, you respond to them in automatic manners or reactions which limit your choices and limit your abilities.
In this also, you think of these two words as singular and as opposites, which they are neither. First of all, they are definitely not singular, for whenever you express one, you are also automatically expressing the other, therefore they are always conjoined. They are never either/or; they are always expressed together. When you express no, you are also expressing yes; when you express yes, you are also expressing no—simultaneously. That is the action of choice, and everything you do is a choice.
JASON: Okay. I want to maybe work on that on HOW that is utilized to help you create your reality. I know in a past session you had brought it up in reference to choosing to have a cup of coffee, and some of the constructs associated with that coffee were raised. But why is it helpful to have that information?
ELIAS: Very well. Offer to myself any action, any choice, any scenario that you experience within your day.
JASON: Okay. I would have the choice to do some work that I’m working on or choose something else if I choose not to do that work—whether it’s walk around and talk to someone, or read something else.
ELIAS: Now; express one of those—merely one.
JASON: Okay: the choice to finish a note for work that I’m writing.
ELIAS: Very well.
Now; in that, you do not even think about it. You either do it or you do not, and you will give yourself reasons why you should do it or why you do not want to do it. Those are the constructs. Remember: Constructs are the reasons that you engage any choice. In this, if you choose to write the note in relation to work, why are you choosing to do it? What motivates you to do that?
JASON: Because I believe I have to be productive in order to show my value at my place of employment. I believe that I will likely feel more relief when it’s done.
ELIAS: Why will you feel relief?
JASON: Because if I believe that it should be done and I haven’t done it, I would be...
ELIAS: Not meeting an obligation.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: Now; listen to the words that you used: “supposed to,” “obligation,” “expected to,” “earning,” “value.” ALL of those expressions are attached to this one choice. You write a note. And why are you writing the note? Because you have to, or because you should. And why? Because that is an expression of your value, or it is a display of what you are earning, and it is an expression of obligation.
Now; do you WANT to write the note? You do not even consider whether you want to write the note or not; you consider what the consequences are if you do NOT write the note, and you consider what the constructs are of writing the note. You do NOT consider what is important to you, what is valuable to you. You place yourself in a secondary position automatically, for you are accepting an instruction out of obligation and as a display of action or productivity in proof of your value, and that you are earning, and therefore, by extension, you will be deserving, for you earned it. In that, all those other words have now been attached to the one of “Yes, I will write the note” and “No, I will not pay attention to me.” “Yes, I will agree to this dictate and expectations and the idea that I am not intrinsically valuable, that I have to EARN my value and my deservingness, and I will accept that by expressing yes to this one small action of writing a note. And in all of that simultaneously I will express no to myself in being primary and what I want and what I deserve for existing—not that I have earned it.”
In this, you may choose to write the note because you want to anyway. But there is an enormous difference between writing the note because you want to or writing the note because you are supposed to. Writing the note because you want to, you are in the primary position—it is your choice. Writing the note because you are supposed to, you are in the secondary position, you are being dictated to, and it is NOT your choice. You have given your choice away. Therefore you have given your power away, and when you give your power away, what do you do? You devalue yourself. And when you devalue yourself, what occurs? You reflect that. And therefore, the other individuals around you do not value you as much as you deserve, and that perpetuates the circle. Then you have to EARN that deserving by earning their valuing of you.
You deserve and are valuable merely for the factor that you exist and you breathe.
JASON: And in order to see if I understand, or just to sum that up, then the primary use of the Yes and No technique would be to shed light into why you are making certain choices, whether they’re in your benefit or not.
ELIAS: Correct. What is your motivation, and is that to your greatest benefit or not?
Now; in relation to an existing situation, such as you incorporate a specific job—and I acknowledge that the structure of most jobs is not necessarily geared in the direction of intrinsically valuing all of the employees. But this is a self-perpetuating circle, for the employees do not value themselves; therefore, the employers also do not value their employees.
Now; in this, you automatically hold yourselves in that position of less than, and having to earn by continuing to express yourselves in that secondary position.
Now; let me express to you in very real terms: When an individual stops placing themself in that secondary position and begins expressing themself in that primary position and is continuing to contribute in their job, in their employment, but not necessarily generating a contribution in the guidelines that are set by the existing structure, that IS noticed, (with emphasis) but it is not necessarily opposed. That when an individual is genuinely valuing themself and PAYING attention to that yes and no, and is actually aware, “What is my motivation for engaging this particular task? What do I want to do in relation to my job?”, then the individual is motivated to be listening more to their own inspirations and generating their contribution in their job rather than blindly following the dictates of other individuals to perform certain tasks.
Now; in this I did not express, “What do you want to do in general?” It is a matter of being realistic and specific to the direction that you are engaging. Therefore if you value your job, if you enjoy your job, then it is a matter of expressing to yourself in relation to that yes and no, “What is to my greatest benefit, and how can I use my creativity, my imagination and my abilities to generate a contribution to my job that I enjoy and that is satisfying and fulfilling to me?” Is writing that note satisfying and fulfilling to you, or is it avoiding a consequence?
In this, it is a matter of evaluating whatever you are engaging and defining what is important to you, and always placing yourself in that primary position. You are not above or below any other individual; you merely occupy a different position. Therefore, a supervisor is not actually ABOVE you; that individual occupies a different position, therefore they generate different actions, different choices, different tasks. Your position is equally as important, and if it was not, there would be no necessity for a supervisor. The supervisor would not HAVE a job if there were not other individuals whose jobs are equally as important.
In this, it is a matter of evaluating, “What is my position? Do I enjoy my position? Do I like my position? Is my position interesting to me? What is my motivation for engaging my position?” If your ONLY motivation is money, that is not a very good motivation.
JASON: I think I’ve already come to the conclusion, at least partially, without maybe putting it in the same clarity that you are, that I can do okay just doing my job my way, not necessarily in the way they define it. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Yes, you can. But you can be MORE than that, and not merely okay. You can actually allow yourself the freedom to be expressing your creativity and what you like and your interest; it is merely a matter of evaluating what are the avenues that you can engage to do your job in a manner that is satisfying to you, not merely okay.
Many individuals can fool themselves into the idea that they are comfortable with their job, for they can express their job in minimal capacities, and therefore in general think that they are doing what they want to do and not necessarily complying with the guidelines of their job. Is that to say that they are satisfied or that they are comfortable with that? No, generally not. That is the reason that I expressed in the manner that I did.
JASON: Are you referring to me?
ELIAS: I would express that you could move more in that direction.
JASON: Yes, of course. Because at least I tell myself I generally like it. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: And in that, what I am expressing is, it is a matter of viewing and evaluating the direction that you are engaging.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: Therefore, if you are engaging work or a job, then it is a matter of addressing that subject, not expressing to yourself, “I am not satisfied with this job and what I want to do is read a book.” No, reading a book is not engaging the job.
JASON: Okay.
ELIAS: Therefore, it is a matter of addressing the job and what is it that you can do IN the job that generates a contribution and that is satisfying to you, that is interesting to you or stimulating to you—not engaging an entirely different subject and ignoring the subject of the job, but ENGAGING the job. This is an important point, for most individuals in your society engage a significant amount of their time engaging the job.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: If you are participating for significant time frameworks in a particular direction, is it not important that that direction be fulfilling?
JASON: Yes.
ELIAS: Or interesting? In that, are you willing to sacrifice that much of your time to be nullified and meaningless, and then you can be fulfilled and spiritual and growing and expanding in the little time that is left?
JASON: So I can see how using yes and no to evaluate what you are currently doing, like we just talked about. But let’s say you had a particular want or a desire—and maybe we’ll pursue an example outside of work. Is it possible to use the yes and no to move yourself in that direction?
ELIAS: Definitely. What did I express? Yes and no are involved in every aspect of your life: everything you do, everything you think, everything you feel. Therefore, of course, they would be involved in what you want to do, or what you plan to do, or what you want. For, the yes and the no is very much a part of the choices of the process in every action that you engage in relation to the process of how you accomplish what you want.
JASON: And is it that by pursuing the choices that can continue to put yourself primary, while moving in that direction, or engaging action that you believe will move you towards what you desire while keeping yourself primary, you move towards success in that action?
ELIAS: Most definitely. For when you are aware of the yes and no, the motivation in relation to that is always what is to your greatest benefit, regardless of what it is. In that, it involves what is the most efficient, what is the most interesting, what is the most expression of yourself, what is the most effective—anything in those directions. If you are paying attention to what you are doing and you know that every action, every expression, that you engage involves a yes and no with it, then you also become more aware of the implications of that.
What is your motivation? What are you saying yes to and what are you saying no to in any situation, in any expression? The factor that you rise in the morning, that you move yourself out of the bed in the morning, is a yes-and-no choice.
JASON: Sometimes it’s saying no to myself! (Chuckles)
ELIAS: At times it may be. That is what I was expressing. They are not what you think they are, that yes and no do incorporate definite meanings, but they are not always as fixed in the capacity that no is always negative and yes is always positive. (Pause) They are fixed in the meanings of yes is engaging and no is not. (Pause) But that is not to say that yes is always positive and no is always negative.
JASON: Is this discussion relevant to activities such as parlor tricks?
ELIAS: (Laughs)In what capacity?
JASON: Being successful. (Laughs) I’m just seeing if it’s something that would help in that, in order to have success with a parlor trick, or [if] it’s not really, it’s more about trust.
ELIAS: But that involves yes and no also. Are you allowing, are you trusting?
JASON: Okay, then along those lines would my success at a given endeavor such as that be influenced by my choices throughout that day, right?
ELIAS: Yes.
JASON: So, if I was saying yes to myself in doing what was to my greatest benefit more often than not (chuckles), I would be more likely to succeed. Is that...?
ELIAS: Correct. For you are being more consistent in trusting yourself and allowing. Whereas, if you are not, you may not be trusting yourself and you may be expressing control.
JASON: Okay.
ELIAS: And control is actually the reverse of trust.
JASON: I’ve been paying more attention to what I do recently, and it’s fascinating to see, at least objectively, how my interactions with other people are affected or influenced, or the way other people treat me appear to be influenced by that activity.
ELIAS: Very much so. And what have you noticed?
JASON: It would be a lot less opposing (chuckles), a lot more appreciative—you know, generally nicer interactions, more pleasant interactions.
ELIAS: I would agree.
JASON: It’s happened in the past, but not necessarily objectively.
ELIAS: Or intentionally.
JASON: Intentionally. Right. There were a couple of years ago where I was doing...and I’ve talked to you about this in the past, this open focus meditation, and one thing I’ve noticed is that the end result, or the result of spending time doing those exercises is that it’s actually very similar to paying attention to what you are doing, because it does involve widening your attention and really getting to know or to sense your physical body consciousness in a concrete way.
ELIAS: Correct.
JASON: So I had in the past what I would consider some very amazingly lucky things that have occurred around those times, that sort of synchronicity that we’ve talked about, and in hindsight can attribute to that activity, but then by not paying attention to what I was doing it’s very easy to lose that state of consciousness.
ELIAS: Precisely. And then it becomes somewhat random.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: For you are not intentionally maintaining and engaging in that awareness, and you become forgetful, and you automatically move back into that position of automatic pilot.
JASON: And then I’m making myself uncomfortable and tensing up my stomach. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And the more you do that, the more it perpetuates. And you walk into a shop and the clerk is annoyed or irritated, and you drive in your vehicle and it does not perform properly, or you move through a red traffic signal, and you go to your grocery store and you drop a jar of pickles. (Both chuckle)
JASON: So everything.
ELIAS: And you become more and more frustrated, and the more frustrated and irritated you become, the more these actions occur—until you finally resign yourself and go to bed and go to sleep and arise the next morning. And then it is different, for you have given yourself a reprieve to stop that energy. But all of that is expressed unintentionally. You are merely the observer in all of these actions that happen to you. Whereas, you can be the orchestrator and be intentionally directing of ALL of the actions that are occurring AROUND you, not TO you.
JASON: And I assume that becomes your perception as well, that you reverse it from the outside affecting the inside to the inside affecting the outside. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Precisely. And in that, I would express to you quite genuinely, my friend, that it is merely challenging in the beginning, but very quickly you begin to exchange the ease of automatic pilot for the ease of being intentionally aware, and it is not difficult, and it actually requires less energy and less concentration than it does to maintain what you do not like and what you do not want and what is uncomfortable.
JASON: (Chuckles) And what is the best way for me personally, do you think, to take this to the next step now that I think I understand what you mean when you say yes and no and how to examine my choices? Is it to focus on maybe where I’m still generating uncomfortable circumstances?
ELIAS: Yes, but what I would express to you is, first of all engage the simple action of merely noticing, which is not difficult to do and does not require you to engage any different action but merely to notice when you are expressing automatically, when you are expressing yes to some outside source that you are not necessarily comfortable with and therefore expressing no to yourself, or when you are expressing yes to yourself that is actually a detriment and saying no to what is more beneficial to you.
In this, the more you notice, the more inclined you will become to pause when you are generating choices, and the easier it will be to automatically be expressing to your greater benefit. I would also express to notice when you are not alone, when you are engaging other individuals.
JASON: Mm-hm.
ELIAS: Or when you are engaging in an activity that commands your attention—therefore it may not even be a situation in which you are engaging other individuals but when you are engaging your computer.
JASON: Right. I can think of two areas based on your comment right off the bat that are definite targets for opposing energy. One would be dealing with my children. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Ah, yes!
JASON: That’s got to be the single greatest source of acceptance exercises. (Both laugh) And then I think my largest expectations on myself would be related to my work.
ELIAS: Very well. These are excellent avenues to practice. For with other individuals, the pitfall is that it is very easy to focus your attention on the other individual and what they are doing and what they are expressing and HOW they are expressing—even more than what they are expressing—and very easy to stop paying attention to yourself entirely, not even to recognize what you are feeling (emphatically) while you are feeling it.
JASON: I know. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: And in relation to the work situation, it is very easy, once again, to be engaging your computer and to be thinking so much that your concentration and your attention is fixed outside of you in relation to whatever you are doing and whatever subject you are engaging with your computer and NOT pay attention to you at all.
JASON: Mm-hm. And this seems to be associated with certain positions of the body; in other words the body is your indicator that, hey, you’re making a choice here that may not be in your best benefit. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Very much so. I would express that it is very easy for you and many, many, many other individuals to be sitting in a particular position for a considerable time framework and not notice how much tension your body is developing, and not notice that the position that you are sitting in is not actually comfortable.
JASON: (Laughs) That actually is a huge revelation over the last few weeks.
ELIAS: (Laughs) But in that, even to notice that certain muscles in your body are tensing and are holding energy, and that merely a slight movement of your body would allow that to be released, but you do not do it.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: Therefore, I would express that in these two situations alone there is ample opportunity for you to be noticing when you are saying yes and no to what. And in relation to that yes and no, how is the yes or the no benefiting you? (Pause)
I would also express in relation to the situation or the interaction with the children, making a point is not always benefiting you. (Pause) And that may also apply with your partner.
JASON: Right.
ELIAS: You think making a point is benefiting you, but in most situations it is not.
JASON: Right. Teaching them a lesson, or... (Chuckles) I’m starting to see that a little bit. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Or even pressing your point to be heard is not always to your greatest benefit.
JASON: “Pressing my point to be heard.” Such as, I’m in a room and they’re making a racket and I wish they would stop, sometimes it’s better to just get up and leave?
ELIAS: That would be one example. Or, when you are engaging a conversation with another individual and it becomes more important to you to make your point in the conversation than it does to continue to engage the conversation.
JASON: Now, this is the second time that you’ve put out that stuff!
ELIAS: (Laughs heartily) And perhaps it is a subject to consider.
JASON: Can we shed more light on it? ‘Cause I’m not aware of where I’m pressing my point.
ELIAS: You may not be pressing your point in an aggressive manner. They are not hand in hand automatically. But—in this, I would express that there are ample situations in which you are expressing your point in your head...
JASON: Okay. That’s different.
ELIAS: ...And no longer listening.
JASON: Interesting! I never thought of that. But that’s still opposing?
ELIAS: Stating your point becomes more important than the interaction itself.
JASON: Okay. There’s probably a lot of examples of that! (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Precisely.
JASON: Okay, ‘cause I guess my tendency is to avoid most of the arguments, but it doesn’t mean I’m not opposing.
ELIAS: Precisely. Yes! Now you are in the direction, yes. The factor that you may not necessarily be outwardly engaging a conflict, or that you may not be outwardly expressing a stubbornness in making your point, that is not the only manner in which you express that, or in which it can be expressed. You can be silent, or you can be conceding with another individual. You can be expressing, “Fine, very well, yes, you are correct,” and within you, you are expressing, “No, you are not.” (Jason laughs) “And my point stands, and that is more important than this interaction.” And the concession is meant to end the interaction and therefore allow you to maintain your point.
JASON: Interesting. Okay. So that’s the third thing I’m going to add to my agenda to notice, is what I’m doing internally…
ELIAS: Ha! Ha! Excellent!
JASON: ...with my partner.
ELIAS: Excellent. And this is all very much connected with the yes and no. What are you saying yes to, and what are you saying no to? You are perhaps saying yes to concession and no to yourself in your freedom. Or, you are saying no to the conflict and yes to what you think of as a small victory. But is it a victory? Perhaps. Much to contemplate, my friend. (Laughs)
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
JASON: Excellent! Well, thank you, Elias, very much, it was great talking to you again.
ELIAS: You are very welcome. (Chuckles)
JASON: And I look forward to our next discussion.
ELIAS: And so shall I. And I express tremendous encouragement to you, my friend, and a tremendous acknowledgment: You are expanding quite rapidly. That is to be acknowledged.
JASON: I definitely feel... As an example, I was doing a Dzogchen meditation the other day, and it was far easier to do than any time in the past, where it was just so boring. (Both laugh) And it was just not boring any more, or a lot less. I just noticed that change. That’s something I’d tried many times in the past and was not able to do, and now it just seemed relatively easy.
ELIAS: Excellent. I am tremendously acknowledging of you, my friend. Well done! You are progressing and expanding well, and I am tremendously congratulating of you in that.
JASON: And I thank you.
ELIAS: You did it! (Laughs) Remind yourself to express that to yourself more often, also: “I did it.”
JASON: (Laughs) Okay.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Until our next meeting, my dear friend, in wondrous lovingness to you, as always, au revoir.
JASON: Take care.
(Elias departs after 1 hour)
Copyright 2015 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.