Thursday, September 15, 2005 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Terri (Uliva)

(Elias’ arrival time is 19 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

TERRI: Good afternoon, Elias. How are you?

ELIAS: As always, and yourself?

TERRI: Actually, pretty good except for one major issue. I think I have had some good breakthroughs in the last couple of days as far as perceptions, kind of playing with them and recognizing the scenarios that I’m creating. So, I think that was a big break through.

ELIAS: And?

TERRI: And I am having one issue that’s going on for months now, where I just can’t seem to stop bleeding or itching. I’ve exhausted everything I can come up with myself, and I can’t seem to make it stop. I wanted to focus on that today, at least try to get to the bottom of it.

I have some impressions. I think it’s related to the relationship with Jeff that started around mid July. At first, I thought that I was creating it because I had sex with a couple of different guys and not always with condoms. I thought I’m creating this to prove to myself that I’m not pregnant. But then it kept happening, and I thought okay, maybe it’s related to trust and fear issues and intimate relationships that are bleeding through. I had an impression that maybe I’m just trying to shed strong health beliefs regarding intimate relationships. The other day, I just felt like an open wound that wouldn’t heal but just kept bleeding.

As far as the itching, all I could come up with was maybe it was a reminder that I created for myself of constant irritation that I created in Zeus, that he kept licking his paws, and maybe I was trying to take that back from him, not be a burden on him with that.

ELIAS: I may express to you that all of your impressions are correct, and what are you doing?

TERRI: I hate going to doctors because I know that I’m creating this, but I had to call the other day and get some pills to at least make it stop by Sunday, because I only see this man once a week or every other week, which I also know I am creating.

In one way, I want to create seeing him more, but in another way I know that I’m pushing that away, that I’m not creating that probably because I have this fear issue that the more time we spend together that he won’t like me, or if he hears more about my kids that’ll turn him off, and if it’s not always happy times when we’re together that he won’t like me. These are all strong beliefs that I’ve had from past relationships, and they’ve all come back now that I’ve found this man. For six years I’d kind of forgotten about them. They’re all flooding back now that I’m seeing this man for more than just a couple of dates and it seems to be moving forward.

ELIAS: And you are generating the fear, and you are opposing yourself and discounting yourself.

TERRI: I did catch that. I didn’t realize how much I was discounting myself. I was doing a lot of writing this week, and I did catch that how often I do discount myself with him, that he’s too busy to call me or he’s got much more important things to worry about than thinking about me or seeing me. I did catch a lot of that which I thought was good.

ELIAS: Yes, for in allowing yourself to recognize that that also allows you to address to it. But the point now is to be interrupting these automatic responses and these familiar patterns of discounting yourself and generating this fear and opposing yourself — that being the strongest energy that you are projecting presently, this continuous opposition within yourself. An element of that is taking personal responsibility for other individuals and their choices, but taking personal responsibility in a manner that also is tremendously discounting of yourself.

I may express to you, my friend, if you continue to project this type of energy, you are creating a strong potential to be thwarting your own efforts and a strong potential to be creating significant disappointment. It is important that you recognize not merely how often you discount yourself but to not compound that by discounting yourself for the reason that you discount yourself.

TERRI: I don’t quite understand that one.

ELIAS: Not discounting yourself more because you are discounting yourself, not generating more disappointment for you are noticing how often you are discounting yourself. That merely compounds the circle and continues to perpetuate it.

I may suggest to you that you incorporate a daily relaxation, for you are generating considerable tension in body consciousness. That is contributing to this situation in which you are bleeding, and it is also contributing to you being in this continuous state of fear and discounting.

Allow yourself to relax. Allow yourself to incorporate some action within your day that allows you to smile. Offer yourself some action that shall generate a smile. Appreciate some element, some aspect of yourself. It is important to interrupt this flow of energy, and the most efficient manner that you can interrupt is to generate appreciation and also acknowledgment of yourself, acknowledgment genuinely of what you are accomplishing. Each time you notice yourself discounting yourself, also intentionally offer yourself some type of acknowledgment of some accomplishment, regardless of what it is, within that day. If you are matching how many times you discount yourself with a counterbalance of acknowledging an accomplishment, that shall alter the energy and shall be significant in interrupting this flow of energy in which you are doubting yourself.

I am acknowledging of you that you have generated considerable movement from our previous conversation, but you are also generating somewhat of your own danger zone now in experiencing and moving into those automatic responses that are quite familiar. Remember, you are not eliminating your beliefs. Therefore, they may not have been expressed in this manner for an ongoing timeframe for they were not being triggered in this manner, and now they are. They have not disappeared. You merely were paying more attention to yourself and not concerning yourself with certain influences, but now you recognize a potential of creating an intimate relationship with another individual, and that is triggering the fear. That triggers those automatic associations that perhaps you do not know how to create an intimate relationship with another individual or the familiar association that you shall sabotage the relationship, or also that it requires, in your perception, you to be expressing vulnerability and exposure, and you are not quite sure if you are actually willing to engage in that.

TERRI: Right, which is what I noticed when I sent the email yesterday, putting in there that I was disappointed that he hadn’t shown up to the football game that night. I felt that was me trying to come to terms with being vulnerable, at least making an attempt.

ELIAS: I am understanding, but expressing yourself and your vulnerability in openness and exposure is not an expression that presents accusing. That is defensive, and that is opposing.

TERRI: That comment was?

ELIAS: Yes. I am understanding that you are attempting to allow yourself exposure but not quite understanding what that means.

TERRI: So, I would have been better off not saying anything at all?

ELIAS: Not necessarily. It is not a matter of not expressing yourself, but expressing yourself in genuineness and not in focusing upon the other individual. Your disappointment is not in the other individual. Your disappointment is within you.

TERRI: That I created him not showing up?

ELIAS: That you prevented yourself from allowing yourself to express what you wanted to express. You prevented yourself from allowing yourself to share.

TERRI: That night when it was happening or in the email?

ELIAS: The evening of the event.

TERRI: So, I should have told him then? I didn’t feel like I could tell him then.

ELIAS: That is what generated the disappointment, that you created a situation in which you did not allow yourself to express you, which in that moment your want was to share an experience with the other individual. It is not that HE generated an action that disappointed you. Your disappointment stems from your denial of yourself to be expressing yourself.

TERRI: I was disappointed because I blocked myself from the experience.

ELIAS: And therefore, you did not allow yourself to share an experience with the other individual.

TERRI: Right. And I did that out of fear? I really didn’t understand why I did that. It wasn’t like I was going to see him the whole night anyway, as we were just meeting beforehand.

ELIAS: I am understanding, but it matters not, for regardless of whether you are interacting in a public or a private encounter and regardless of whether you are interacting for a shorter or longer time framework actually matters not, for the underlying constant fear and discounting is being expressed.

TERRI: Does the writing help? I’ve been trying to write down what I appreciate and what I acknowledge. I have been spending a lot of time on that each day.

ELIAS: Yes, that is helpful.

TERRI: So, you’re saying I’m still not spending enough time appreciating and acknowledging? I feel like that’s all I’m doing, in between the fear and discounting, is trying to appreciate and acknowledge. Are you telling me to keep up what I’m doing or do more of it or I’m not doing it right?

ELIAS: Continue with what you are doing but be aware of what you are actually doing. Be aware of what you are actually expressing. Incorporate your response with the male as an example to yourself to generate more clarity in what you are doing. How are you acknowledging yourself?

TERRI: By thinking about it.

ELIAS: In what manner? Offer an example.

TERRI: Yesterday, I acknowledged all the things that I was proud about creating. For example, I was upset that he hadn’t taken me to the event, and I recognized that that was my perception of what a relationship is, that insecurity was taking me. Then I created him asking me to the event on Sunday, so I acknowledged that I created that, allowing that to happen. At the same time, it was kind of reinforcing that it wasn’t true that he didn’t care. I was acknowledging that I had created well.

ELIAS: Very well. And what are you acknowledging in your accomplishments with yourself?

TERRI: This morning, I thought that it was a big breakthrough that when I didn’t get a response to the email, I was able to say I created that because I’m exploring my perception regarding trust and attention. I’m creating him not responding so I can look at the fact that just because he doesn’t respond immediately doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care, and to be more aware of how much of the time I create tension and that it is not necessary. There are plenty of people that I care about, and if I don’t get back to them right away that doesn’t mean that I don’t care.

I thought it was good that I was able to kind of play with that and create a response by the time I had gotten back from my hike. I felt more open this morning, recognizing that I’m generating these scenarios lately to really give me a chance to look at the expectations I have of the relationship and starting to let them go. I felt better this morning.

ELIAS: I am understanding and I am acknowledging of you in that, but my question was what have you acknowledged concerning yourself and not in relation to this other individual.

TERRI: I thought that acknowledging the way that I’ve been able to recognize things lately...

ELIAS: Yes, these are accomplishments and they are to be acknowledged. The reason that I am expressing to you to be also generating an acknowledgment of your own accomplishments that do not involve other individuals is to prompt you into paying more attention to you and becoming more familiar with that action, and therefore beginning to generate that into an automatic action.

TERRI: I’ve really been acknowledging how I’ve created my body lately, that I’ve been really happy with that, and many times appreciating what I’ve created there. I’ve been really happy with the way I look lately. Is that what you’re talking about?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: I’ve spent a lot of time doing that and also acknowledging my physical ability when I’m riding my bike. When I’m on my bike, I really spend a lot of time appreciating and acknowledging how well I ride, how far I can ride, how good it makes me feel.

ELIAS: Very well. This is precisely what I am expressing, for this is a very beneficial action.

TERRI: So, spend more time doing that. When you say incorporate relaxation every day, how long would be the most beneficial — half an hour, an hour?

ELIAS: I would express to you to generate approximately 30 to 45 of your minutes each day.

TERRI: During that time, I should think of nothing or spend it appreciating me or what?

ELIAS: In that timeframe, allow yourself to create a peaceful and pleasant visualization.

TERRI: Of anything? Like I could be picturing relaxing by the sea or by a lake or something?

ELIAS: Yes. In that visualization, incorporate sense information.

TERRI: Like how the sand feels under my feet or...?

ELIAS: Yes. Incorporate all of your outer senses and incorporate that data in your visualization. Therefore, you are not necessarily thinking but you are experiencing, and that shall allow you to absorb yourself in the visualization to the point in which you are excluding outside input. It will allow you to focus and it will allow you to genuinely relax, in which the entirety of your body consciousness shall relax. That may also be helpful in association with the bleeding.

TERRI: Does the EFT tapping that I’ve been doing help in any way?

ELIAS: And what is your assessment?

TERRI: I have a hard time telling. I would like to think that it does, because it’s so easy to do and I can do it anytime. I guess my first question was in the book you were saying that some people are more susceptible to affirmations than other people are.

ELIAS: Correct.

TERRI: I was wondering if I was one of those people, first of all.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: I was thinking if that were true, that the EFT tapping would be beneficial, it is a form of affirmation. The tapping is supposed to trigger along the meridian lines, and that would help it penetrate more. But I don’t know for sure.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: So, even though you are making it into a negative statement, it is still beneficial? Would it be more beneficial if I just did positive statements?

ELIAS: Offer an example.

TERRI: Today I did “even though I am nervous about not creating my session with Elias, I still deeply and completely love, accept and forgive myself.” Would it be more helpful if I turned it around and said, “I’m really looking forward to creating my session with Elias today”?

ELIAS: For you individually, temporarily, the latter would be more beneficial.

TERRI: I can do some regarding “I’m looking forward to letting go of the fear and trust issues that I have regarding intimate relationships”?

ELIAS: Not “I am looking forward to.”

TERRI: “I am”?

ELIAS: Yes. Generate these types of affirmations in the now as doing, not anticipating.

TERRI: I had a session with Michelle the other week, and before we got started she was saying that my father was coming through and gave me a lot of different information. Is that true that he was speaking through her?

ELIAS: Not entirely accurate. There is an element of tapping into an energy deposit but not a direct interaction.

TERRI: Were any of the statements that she picked up true? She was saying that he had sent Jeff to me.

ELIAS: That would be a distortion.

TERRI: She also said that within six months I’d have another job opportunity to move closer to Jeff, because long distance relationships never work. I thought maybe that was more a reflection of what I was thinking.

ELIAS: Yes, that is more associated with your energy.

TERRI: When I was driving other day, I was driving to the park, and I was looking for “For Sale” signs in neighborhoods. I had this impression that those were small time deals for me and that I would be involved much bigger deals very soon.

ELIAS: That is a potential.

TERRI: Am I blocking that also?

ELIAS: No.

TERRI: I feel like I’ve been trying to do a lot of work, too, on appreciating the deals that have come through my real estate company, acknowledging what I created with that opportunity. But there are like ten of them that are floating out there that are stagnant, that aren’t moving anywhere, and I keep feeling like I’m blocking it somehow.

ELIAS: Be aware of your energy and do not force; do not push. Be aware of generating an energy of cooperation and sharing. If you appreciate and you generate a projection of energy of cooperation and sharing that appreciation, you shall also draw to yourself more of what you want, for you shall draw that type of reflection.

TERRI: Is there anything, specifically any belief that I hold about money itself, that I’m not seeing that’s keeping me from creating the amount that I want?

ELIAS: The influence of lack, that you do not incorporate enough.

TERRI: I thought that was starting to change a little bit from the last time that we talked. I know it has regarding my body image, and I try to hold onto that acknowledgment of what a big difference I made in that area, trying to translate it over to money also and appreciate the money that I do have.

ELIAS: Yes. Continue.

TERRI: Every time we talk, it’s the same things over and over again. I’m just taking these little baby steps.

ELIAS: Ah-ah-ah-ah! And what did you do?

TERRI: Just now? I discounted myself.

ELIAS: Yes. Now express an acknowledgment.

TERRI: Well, I do acknowledge the potential of how effortless it can be because...

ELIAS: No, that is not an acknowledgment of an accomplishment.

TERRI: I acknowledge the accomplishment of what I did with my body, how I turned it around in just a couple of months.

ELIAS: Very well.

TERRI: I’m very happy with the way it is now.

ELIAS: Very well, that is sufficient. This is the point. You have offered yourself in this action precisely what I expressed to you as your exercise.

TERRI: Would another one be acknowledging the creation of my T-Bird and how much I enjoy driving it? Would that be another one?

ELIAS: Yes, but more specifically, I am expressing to you to acknowledge some accomplishment that you have generated in the day, in this day. You may incorporate these acknowledgments of your accomplishments in these other expressions, for they offer you efficient examples of your ability to create what you want, and it also offers you an example of your strength and your power.

But in creating the counterbalance of an acknowledgment of an accomplishment to match each discounting, the discounting that you do is occurring in the now. You are expressing in the now some discounting of yourself that you are not satisfied with now. Therefore, to counterbalance that and interrupt that type of energy, I express to you to acknowledge some accomplishment that you have generated in the day.

TERRI: Like for today, acknowledging that I created the hike in the woods with Zeus this morning?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: Does it have to be big things or can it be anything?

ELIAS: It matters not. It may be any acknowledgment of an accomplishment.

TERRI: I consider drinking my shakes in the morning an accomplishment, because I feel it starts my day off right.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: I feel like I’ve been able to pay attention more in the now since the last time we talked.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: Is that an accomplishment of the day, or just over all?

ELIAS: That can be an accomplishment in the day.

TERRI: So, I’m on the right track. I just need to bring it more into the now.

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: It’s making a difference, but I can make a bigger difference by keeping it in the now?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: Would it be fair to say that I haven’t done as much damage as I could have (laughs)...

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: ...with my relationship with Jeff by all the work I have done, trying to stay in the present and trying to recognize the expectations and automatic responses?

ELIAS: Yes, now allowing yourself to relax and allowing yourself to generate a playful energy. That may be helpful also.

TERRI: Talking this morning about being able to play with my perceptions, it felt like a playful energy. Is that accurate?

ELIAS: Yes.

TERRI: Or are you talking about in a different...?

ELIAS: You also incorporate considerable seriousness in all of your analyzations. Allow yourself to relax and be aware, but not to incorporate the seriousness of constantly analyzing.

TERRI: Can you give me an example of playful energy, what I could do that would be purely playful energy?

ELIAS: Allow yourself to generate a skipping energy to match the rhythm of butterfly wings.

TERRI: I realize it can be done physically, but if I’m not in a position where I could do it...

ELIAS: It is not necessary to incorporate an actual physical action.

TERRI: Imagination would work also?

ELIAS: Yes, and perhaps that shall allow you to smile.

TERRI: Well, I think so! (Both laugh) That’s all the time we have today, and I will be talking to you again on Sunday.

ELIAS: Very well! I shall be anticipating our next meeting.

TERRI: And I will be doing plenty of relaxing between now and then!

ELIAS: Very well. (Chuckles)

TERRI: Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome. I shall be offering my energy to you in encouragement, my friend. In great affection and appreciation, au revoir.

TERRI: Au revoir.

Elias departs after 42 minutes.

©2010 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.