Thursday, August 4, 2005 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anjuli (Myranda)

(Elias’ arrival time is 13 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

ANJULI: (Laughs) Hello! We have a session.

ELIAS: Ha ha! And what shall we discuss, my friend?

ANJULI: The fluctuating between familiar and unfamiliar.

ELIAS: Ah. And what have you been creating?

ANJULI: So far, it feels as if I am quite a lot fluctuating between an old expression and new expression of self, the familiar and the unfamiliar, the new me and the old me.

ELIAS: In what manner?

ANJULI: When I am the new me, then I am not feeling to be a victim of any past or of sequences. I am aware of me generating everything from the now. My energy is different and how I experience myself, even identity or what. The me-ness is different.

ELIAS: Ah.

ANJULI: Then I am fluctuating back into the familiar. The more I am practicing between switching, the more the familiar feels strange, not so familiar any more. It feels not so me-ly anymore. But when I am in it, I can be quite intensely in it and can be quite frustrated about being in it. But I am also aware of the switching back and that I can easily switch back. I think I am more skilled in the switching back.

ELIAS: Yes. And also remember, Myranda, that in moving into the familiar, you can also incorporate that as an experience to offer yourself information, to be generating an action of more of an observer in that experience. Being the observer, you may allow yourself to evaluate the familiar and what elements of that familiar you continue to appreciate in some manner and what elements of that familiar are not your preferences — which shall offer you more clarity in the new experiences in generating more efficient manipulations of your energy, therefore also lessening the frustration in time frameworks in which you are moving back into the familiar, for you are moving in that familiar with a different intention.

ANJULI: I think I created some examples about that, about being in the familiar and using the familiar in a different way, and one was about money. Usually I would have been challenged a lot to know that these five years have passed and that I have to apply for the money from Holland again. I did not even realize that those five years have passed. Two people came and asked me some questions. It was a surprise, so I was not able to create any fear about that in the weeks before. It just suddenly happened.

Also, I am investigating to not oppose the collective and to view it as me supporting me, so to speak, as if the money I get is a support for what I do with the Shift and with myself.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANJULI: I felt that they would support me, and then I was not opposing so much. It was quite easy how it came about.

ELIAS: I am understanding, which is also a validation to you.

ANJULI: The same with the doctors. At first, I did not want to go to any doctor, because I have my “Doctor Patel” (laughs), and because you told me about my manifestations. Then I had to go because of this money thing. I thought okay, maybe I want to investigate about that opposing and how I deal with medical beliefs also. That was really a surprise. Because although I knew it, when they said the manifestations are not there and I do not have to undergo surgery, it was really a surprise. It felt really good to have them saying that. Even the one doctor, when I said after being in hospital last year I had decided that I want my body to take care of itself and that I wanted to be healthy, he said to decide like this really works. I was quite surprised to create him saying that.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Offering yourself yet another validation of your abilities and that you actually do affect and create in association with yourself, and that you actually can alter physical manifestations.

ANJULI: Then I had to go to the other, so to speak, final doctor, and I thought he would probably suggest that I have that kind of examination they usually want to do with people who had the disease I had. I was already thinking I will listen to him and then I will say that I do not want it to be done with me, but I also knew, of course, that I would like to create that he would not suggest this at all, but I had no expectation about that. I paid attention when I was sitting there and waiting for him to come: “Okay, in each moment you can create unusualness, and I can find myself in the Arduin time travel ship in any moment. I don’t have to wait for something like the talk with the doctor, that it would soon be happening or what.” Then when he came, he did not ask me about that at all. He just said I am okay.

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Well done, my friend.

ANJULI: When I was sitting there, I was investigating the choosing. Because we had talked about that on the Inmiland mailing list, and Dale had mentioned the choosing. I was investigating to just sit there and to be aware that I can choose and I don’t have to think about what I choose, just to be aware of my power to choose.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANJULI: And that was the outcome.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) And I may express to you my congratulations. You have offered yourself considerable information, and you have offered yourself considerable validation in association with what you create and what you can create in an effortless manner.

I am also acknowledging of you your awareness of your energy and your awareness of not opposing. That is tremendously significant. Your accomplishment in that, in which you allowed yourself to move in association with your beliefs in these situations and not be opposing and not generating an opposing energy with the other individuals that you involved in this situation, that is to be most commended.

ANJULI: I was not sure with my creations with my family and the not opposing. I think this could be about some conflicting beliefs or what, or some unfamiliarity, or to be not opposing myself and not opposing them. I did not know how to do it. Especially because I was aligning so much to the view that they create my choices for me and that I have to wait for their choices to create my choices or what. I was aware of that, that I hold that belief, but still was frustrated.

ELIAS: Offer example of you perceiving that you must wait for other individuals to choose before you choose.

ANJULI: My elder sister was deciding that she wants to travel quite often to do her new job as a TM-teacher in the new project the community she belongs to is currently doing, and so she was choosing not to be so very often with my mother. She was also not with her family so very often. My younger sister was choosing around her art and her religious interests in a similar way, but in a different energy. My mother was frustrated, because she felt lonely and wanted to have her daughters with her. I felt to be a victim of all that, because then I thought I have to fill in when they are not here.

I came into this responsibility issue of feeling to be responsible for my mother, and I did not know how to get out of that. I know and understand that she is lonely, and then I felt to be a victim of the entire situation and did not know how to get out of that. I understood it from the concepts...

ELIAS: Yes, I am aware.

ANJULI: ...but not from the applying. I was starting to express my confusion and frustration. I said to them that I do not know how to deal with all that and I do not want to hurt anyone, but I also want to do my things and that I don’t know how to deal with the situation. I felt good expressing that, but I was also frustrated and was expressing that in my energy.

ELIAS: Yes, and what do YOU want?

ANJULI: Would it help to say what I do not want?

ELIAS: Perhaps.

ANJULI: Well, what I do not want is to wake up in the morning and then to think who knows what new troubles are going to happen in my family, and every day experiencing the frustration of my mother, never having a happy day in which I just can be relaxing. That is how I felt in those moments.

ELIAS: Very well. Therefore, what you do want is to generate more calm, more ease, more of an expression of fun and playfulness. What you do want is to express your own freedom and not to be expressing obligation.

ANJULI: What was interesting for me was to see that when my elder sister chooses to go somewhere and travel somewhere, she is a reflection of my own desire to travel. I am aware of that. She just did it, and I know...

ELIAS: But you will not allow yourself, and that generates the frustration. It also generates somewhat of an irritation, for there is an automatic association that she is not shouldering the responsibility. This is the reason that you become the victim, for you view this role to be thrust upon you, for the other two do not engage it, or they engage it slightly. That generates an automatic response within you. Whether you are thinking or not, it generates an automatic response within you that as siblings, the share of the obligation should be equal. Therefore, if it is not, there is an element of irritation combined with the frustration, for the other individuals are not performing in accordance with your expectation.

But the point in this scenario is that it actually does not concern the other individuals, which you are aware of. It concerns you and your perception, your belief of obligation to your mother and your belief that being responsible with your mother creates you as good. In that, what is the underlying association? Do you view yourself to be viewed as the good daughter?

ANJULI: No.

ELIAS: And what are you actually creating in this scenario? Is your mother more attentive to you or more pleased with you than she is with the other siblings? No. Therefore, you are seeking false approval. You are already worthy.

In this, you are generating a frustration, as you are aware, in viewing your siblings allowing themselves to express their freedom. In that, as you sit with yourself, you evaluate and at times justify yourself in expressing to yourself that you express your freedom in different manners but that you are allowing yourself your freedom.

Now; let me express to you, my dear, dear friend Myranda, to a point what you have been engaging has been an avenue in which you could allow yourself to not merely widen your awareness but to become more familiar with yourself, to become more familiar with your preferences, to express more of your freedom and to trust yourself and validate yourself, and that has been quite purposeful. But it is incomplete, for in association with obligation and responsibility, you continue to restrict yourself and thusly generate this frustration and irritation, which also in some situations triggers anxiety within you.

Let me express to you, what you have been engaging to this point has served an important and significant purpose in your movement. But it is also significant that you begin to allow yourself the next step, to genuinely recognize that self-sacrificing is not a reward and does not yield reward. Self-sacrificing merely perpetuates what you do not want and [also] discounting and denying yourself, which is contrary to the natural movement of consciousness, which is what you are.

Self-sacrifice may be a strong religious association, but it does not produce the desired effects. It does not generate more respect or appreciation from other individuals. It does not generate more approval from other individuals, and it does not perpetuate acceptance and trust within yourself. It generates frustration; it generates anxiety; it generates irritation, for it is a denial of yourself.

You are no stranger to depression, and that expression occurs in association with denying self. I would be greatly encouraging of you to be allowing yourself your own freedom in equal measure to what your siblings allow themselves. Not that they do not also incorporate their challenges and their issues, for they do, but that is not the point. What is the point is you. Allowing yourself your own freedom, my friend, does not diminish your love or your appreciation for your mother.

ANJULI: When I was thinking about that, when I, for example, hold my attention more on the subjective, in those moments, when I am doing it like I am, for example, doing it now, I perceive everything very different. I understand that it is all energy, I understand how I am creating my reality and how I could apply the concepts, and then I feel that I do not have to... Well, those beliefs are not that strong any more. I understand that what I do when I allow myself my own freedom is beneficial for the others also. Then I do not feel this type of responsibility.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANJULI: When I am more in the imagery and think about objectively what to do, let’s say I imagine that now I would like to go to town for an hour and eat some ice cream. Let’s say just that.

ELIAS: Very well.

ANJULI: Even then, I was at times creating frustration or anxiety from my mother, which is based upon, I guess, my own denial or my own thinking that I did something wrong or what; I don’t know.

The next thing is that I am not even sure if that is my own freedom, if that is what I want, this type of action — although I would have fun traveling to Rome or let’s say something normal like my sisters are doing. Solving this challenge with a so to speak normal choice is how everybody would probably choose.

ELIAS: Which would be what?

ANJULI: That is not what I want.

ELIAS: And what is normal? What do you perceive to be normal? And what do you perceive to not be normal in what you are creating?

ANJULI: Normal would be maybe I have a job and move to another town; I move into another apartment; I sometimes would go on holiday; I have a normal relationship with a normal being in my time framework.

ELIAS: Very well. And what do you actually want? Do you want to be engaging employment?

ANJULI: No.

ELIAS: Do you want to be engaging a relationship with another individual presently?

ANJULI: No.

ELIAS: Do you want to be incorporating another flat in another town?

ANJULI: No, I want to have my Patel house. So, okay then. (Sighs)

ELIAS: Do you incorporate considerable conflict in what you are creating now?

ANJULI: What do you mean?

ELIAS: I am understanding that there are issues associated with obligation and responsibility, but are you experiencing considerable conflict each day in what you are creating now?

ANJULI: No. Sometimes.

ELIAS: At times, but not considerable.

ANJULI: No.

ELIAS: Now; in the time frameworks in which you are creating conflict, you may consider offering yourself permission to engage one of these simple actions that you like, that you prefer, as to removing yourself and allowing yourself to go to town and engage an ice cream.

ANJULI: I guess these types of normal actions, it would be similar as what I did with the money and the doctors?

ELIAS: Yes. But in this, be aware that where the opposition lies is not opposing the physicians or the officials, but opposing you, that you are opposing what you want and opposing your own freedom in favor of obligation.

ANJULI: I think I was a little bit at times doubting. Not doubting, but I was not sure if I am allowed to want what I want.

ELIAS: Ah, and that is significant, for this is an expression that many individuals experience, not being sure that you are allowed to want what you want. For if you allow yourself to want what you want, there is a question of whether that is bad or selfish and whether that detracts from another individual. But it does not. For the more you are accepting of you, the more you allow with you, the more you acknowledge you, the more you actually enhance your energy to be expressing more compassion and supportiveness to other individuals.

The more you restrict yourself, there is an automatic response to hold another individual responsible for that restriction. Therefore, you are generating double judgment, for you are judging yourself, for you also hold yourself responsible, but you also underlyingly incorporate holding another individual responsible for your restriction: “If this other individual was not in this scenario, I could do what I want.”

ANJULI: Ja, I know.

ELIAS: That is an automatic association. I may express to you, this is not bad. It does not express that you are bad; it is an automatic response, and quite, in your terms, normal. Therefore, there are many actions that you are engaging that are normal, but it is not necessarily efficient and does not allow for your own empowerment and the expression of your own strength, and does not express a nurturing with yourself or the gentleness with yourself.

ANJULI: I think what also created a depression or almost sometimes a giving up is I thought that maybe it is wrong what I want. Not that it is wrong, but that it is too unusual, or I should deal with it in a so to speak normal way...

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ANJULI: ...and that maybe all of my desires that I really have are a running away from something, or I am not with two feet on the ground and all these type of things.

ELIAS: Ah, and therefore, in addition to questioning whether you are allowed to want what you want, you also are comparing what you want with the expressions of other individuals, and therefore questioning whether what you want is acceptable.

ANJULI: In time frameworks, I am fluctuating into the new expression, and then it is easy. Then I feel very, very good with that. What I do, for example, is I use the tool of connecting with Ordin for a while. When I did that, I felt “out there,” and it was almost disrupting my old way of how I view myself and my old reality. In those moments, I was experiencing my reality very different, this dimension very different, and then I was very happy. I felt that was what I wanted and what I am investigating.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ANJULI: I guess it is about getting more familiar with the new expression and choosing it again and again.

ELIAS: Partially, and also, as I have expressed, incorporating a slightly different perception in the situations in which you experience the old familiar, being an observer rather than a participant of the manner in which you are experiencing less directedness with yourself and that you are the victim or at the mercy of other individuals’ choices.

Also, Myranda, remember that your reality is not black and white. You may want some expressions that ARE similar to other individuals, and you may want some expressions and creations that are not. You may want to incorporate holiday and allow yourself to generate an adventure in another physical location and incorporate your other adventures simultaneously. You may want to be investigating and playing with energies and generating different kinds of experiences, and that may be fun and fulfilling to you — and you may also want to incorporate ice cream. And you CAN engage it all.

ANJULI: I would like to somehow kind of connect these experiences, my connection with my time and the so to speak familiar or normal things, and the Arduin time travel ship, my relationship with Timothy/Eliantan and my story with you.

ELIAS: Yes, and you can.

ANJULI: I do not have to know the details of how I do it?

ELIAS: Correct. What it requires is allowance and acknowledgment of yourself that you are no less valuable and what you want is no less valuable than any other individual, and also perhaps to remind yourself that the more that you incorporate this energy of personal responsibility and obligation with your mother, the more you perpetuate her dependency with you.

ANJULI: Ja, I know.

ELIAS: For, you reflect what you project. If you are projecting personal responsibility and obligation, you shall reflect dependence.

ANJULI: And Elias, all my wants, like my story with you and the Patel house and all that, are they... You said it is about allowance. I do have the power and ability to create this?

ELIAS: Yes, but how shall you create it if you are restricting yourself in not allowing yourself your freedom and your movement physically in addition to energetically? How can you generate a treasure hunt if you do not incorporate the hunt? That requires movement, action. Which, you do allow yourself action energetically, but you do not always allow yourself movement and actions physically. They are complements to each other, my friend. You occupy a physical reality, and that is an element of your physical reality and one in which there is much to explore — which also is a factor in this type of scenario which you offered as an example, in relation to your siblings.

You understand the concepts, you are aware of yourself, you are aware of your energy, you are aware of how to manipulate energy, you understand conceptually and intellectually much of what we discuss — almost all of what we discuss — but the reason that you discover yourself in this position as you have in that scenario is that there are some elements of what you understand that you have not actually allowed yourself to experience. Therefore, there is a difference. Experience is what generates that concept into reality. There are some actions that you do not allow yourself, and therefore, you deny those experiences. Therefore, although you understand the concepts, you somewhat snare yourself or trap yourself in certain situations for you will not allow yourself the experience.

ANJULI: And which actions would that, for example, be?

ELIAS: Not allowing yourself your own experience of your own physical freedom, that you are not continuously always bound to the confinement of caretaking with your mother, not allowing yourself your own choices of your own movement, as your ice cream or your holiday. I am not expressing to you that you would choose to be engaging these types of actions as often as your siblings, but what I am expressing to you is information that you rarely allow yourself any expression of this type of physical movement of freedom. This once again is a matter of balance, allowing yourself to incorporate your pleasure and your fun in experiences energetically but also physically.

You occupy a physical reality. In merely generating movement energetically, essentially what you are creating is placing yourself in a cage. You can explore energetically, cosmically all that you want, but you are still restricted, for you cannot physically move outside of the cage.

ANJULI: So maybe, for example, when I want to change furniture in my apartment or the entire apartment or do my landscape game or go through a portal or whatever, partially the motivation for this desire is that I don’t allow myself freedom from my mother and I thought to go through a portal is the least-conflict scenario? Or I move through a portal and have ice cream with Patel or with Timothy.

ELIAS: Yes, you can, but also do not deny yourself the physical pleasure of actually going to your town and engaging the physical action of incorporating that ice cream. It is not a matter of continuously substituting nonphysical experiences for physical experiences.

ANJULI: (Sighs) But I want those experiences to be physical.

ELIAS: You can, but this is what you deny yourself. You substitute the nonphysical, and therefore, you camouflage yourself and you express to yourself that you actually do not want to engage the physical action for you are satisfied with the action that you engage energetically. But that is not true, for you do want to be engaging physical actions.

ANJULI: What if I want to eat ice cream together with Timothy physically?

ELIAS: And you can. But how shall you generate that if you are merely engaging energetically? If you want to generate a physical action, you must act and configure physical energy.

ANJULI: Have I then been doing that also with this session, for example? Because at first I thought I don’t need it.

ELIAS: Yes. This would be an example, for you interact with myself continuously. You interact with myself and I with you energetically very often, but at times, you want to be engaging myself in a more physical manner. This is one manner in which you allow yourself to interact and experience myself in a more physical manner. Although you may not be presenting a physical image in front of yourself, you are actively, physically speaking with me and I with you. You are engaging your outer senses in association with participating with myself. You are not merely engaging my energy.

ANJULI: So, I was then choosing to have this session, because I felt I want to have a physical talk with you. Although I wanted to have it different...

ELIAS: Yes.

ANJULI: ...I chose this action of the session because it is a physical action. That is what you meant with the ice cream and the other things also?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANJULI: When I talk with you in this session, I am not creating that I doubt being able to create you being physically solid with me outside of the session?

ELIAS: Correct. And you are creating some physical element to interact with. In these conversations that we engage, my energy is configured differently. It is configured through an actual physical form that I manipulate. Therefore, you are constructing my energy into an actual physical interaction. You also are choosing to engage a physical action. You physically engage your telephone, and you physically engage the interaction with me.

ANJULI: And when I go to town, I physically walk...

ELIAS: Yes.

ANJULI: ...and that is like a physical treasure hunt and anything could happen.

ELIAS: Yes. That is precisely it, my friend.

ANJULI: That talk was challenging a bit. I’m glad we talked about it.

ELIAS: And I am greatly appreciating of you, my friend.

ANJULI: Can I for short just mention that other-dimensional being I am connecting with quite often now? We said that there is something unusual in my focus and that it has something to do with another dimension. I discovered that dimension now, and I interacted with that being and tried to understand that dimension. We do not have so much time, but could you look into my translation of that dimension and how this being is connected with me, if it is correct?

ELIAS: Yes, as accurately as you can within this dimension, yes.

ANJULI: Also, how that dimension is connected with our dimension and this being with me. I do not know what this is, this overlapping or as if they are not focusing their focuses into a dimension but their dimension is like a cuckoo is doing, putting eggs elsewhere.

ELIAS: Yes, I am understanding. You are correct.

ANJULI: I’ll investigate that and do another physical action.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend, I shall be anticipating that. I may express to you also to be offering my greetings and my affection to your mother. I shall be with you, as always, in playfulness, in supportiveness and in gentleness to remind you of your own. In great affection and tremendous lovingness, my dear friend Myranda, au revoir.

ANJULI: Thank you. Au revoir.

Elias departs after 1 hour, 2 minutes.

©2009 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.