Monday, April 11, 2005 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Daryl (Ashrah)

(Elias’ arrival time is 15 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

DARYL: Hi. I’m back again! (Elias chuckles) This again is a half a session. I want to talk to you about opposing medical beliefs and various related things.

I did go to a doctor. I really didn’t understand before that that that would be an act of not opposing the beliefs. I thought it would just make things worse. Anyway, I have a diagnosis, because they did do biopsies and stuff. They have treatment that they want to do, and I have my own ideas about treatment. So I want to talk to you about that area to begin with, at least.

ELIAS: Very well.

DARYL: I want to know basically if I’m opposing myself if I do certain things or if I’m opposing medical beliefs. I’m even kind of confused about what opposing myself would be in this situation, in addition to opposing the beliefs.

ELIAS: Very well.

DARYL: So, I don’t know how we proceed in terms of...

ELIAS: What is your assessment?

DARYL: Of what in particular?

ELIAS: Of the situation, of what you have created, of what you want, of what direction you prefer.

DARYL: I think I am still unclear on whether or not I want to disengage. I think that partly has to do with something I was thinking I could talk to you in more depth about next week, about my choosing aspect and my intent and how I create.

ELIAS: Very well.

DARYL: So, I feel unclear about disengaging or not. I feel like when I went in first on Tuesday, I very much consciously, purposefully joined up with my old medical beliefs, which are thriving and strong. Things went smoothly, and the people were really warm to me and stuff. But then when I went in on Friday and they gave me their diagnosis, I felt like I was then opposing in a way that I wasn’t on Tuesday. Is that true?

ELIAS: Yes, which is progress, for you are noticing your hesitation and you are noticing the difference in your energy. You are noticing what you are actually doing in these situations, which offers you more clarity as to what type of energy you are projecting. Continue.

DARYL: Now, they have two things that they want to do. They want to do a bunch of scans and look for more cancer, and they want to do chemotherapy. I don’t want to do either one of those. But I am willing to do radiation therapy, which is a targeted procedure and doesn’t affect your quality of life and also doesn’t mean I’m going out looking for more. Where I’m confused is if I say I don’t want to do the chemotherapy or the scans, am I then again opposing medical beliefs or does it depend on the energy with which I’m doing that?

ELIAS: It does depend upon the energy that you are projecting, and it depends upon your motivation.

Remember, you are not acquiescing or compromising, but you are attempting to move into an expression of cooperation. Therefore, that is a significant element to be aware of — whether you are genuinely engaging the interaction with the other individuals and generating a cooperation, or whether you are hesitating and perhaps repelling, which would be opposing. This is not to say that you must comply or acquiesce to any of their suggestions. It is your choice. But it is worthy of your evaluation to examine what your motivation is in each situation.

DARYL: For instance with the scans, I think my motivation is that it’s better to not know, to not detail this more than it already is. I’ve even had second thoughts about having a biopsy and having it nailed down. Now, is that my true motivation?

ELIAS: But you did.

DARYL: I mean in terms of they want me to have at least three more kinds of testing to look for more in other parts of my body. I think my motivation for not wanting that is that I think that I’m better off not having that information.

ELIAS: And what is your fear in association with incorporating information?

DARYL: I think it makes it more solid or something. Like if I am choosing to undo this and they said you have it in these other six places, I guess I would feel overwhelmed. Even if I felt like I decided I didn’t want to disengage, I would feel like... I don’t know.

ELIAS: What I am questioning with you is this direction that you are incorporating, that if you offer yourself information that that is viewed as a negative.

Information allows you clarity, and it also allows you to be aware of choices. If you do not incorporate information, you generate less clarity and less awareness of your choices. If you are creating other physical manifestations, they shall no less be created whether you are objectively aware of them or not. Are you understanding?

DARYL: Yes, but I’m also aware of what’s going on subjectively. So, it’s a big deal whether or not my objective awareness knows?

ELIAS: That is the point within this physical reality, is to be expanding your objective awareness, which allows you to more effectively and efficiently create what you want intentionally, and allows you to more efficiently manipulate your energy in whatever you are creating.

DARYL: Well, what about if they find six other places? Then I would just give up.

ELIAS: Which would also be information, would it not?

DARYL: Yeah, it would. With the chemotherapy, I have what I consider to be beliefs that it would be extremely unpleasant and that it’s something I don’t feel I’m willing to do.

ELIAS: Which is a choice. I also suggest and advocate that you offer yourself more information, once again, and allow yourself a willingness to explore information. I am not expressing to you that you should or should not incorporate...

DARYL: I know, and I feel like you’re going you should do that or you should remain open to it.

ELIAS: That is the reason that I am qualifying and expressing to you that I am not expressing to you any actual direction, for they are your choices. What is significant in this is for you to offer yourself information, and once offering yourself information, allowing yourself to genuinely listen to you and evaluate what are your preferences.

DARYL: So, if I genuinely feel, for instance, worst case scenario, they find a lot of it, the only way to treat it is chemotherapy and I decide that I would prefer to die without having chemotherapy, that would be...

ELIAS: That would be a choice.

DARYL: And I wouldn’t be in opposition to myself?

ELIAS: No.

DARYL: I wouldn’t?

ELIAS: No.

DARYL: (Emotionally) Because I feel like I’m losing my right to have a preference here.

ELIAS: Not if you are genuinely allowing yourself to listen to yourself and to evaluate what your preferences are. These are choices. In that, it is your choice of whether you want to continue or whether you want to disengage. Either is merely a choice.

DARYL: I guess another area I’m unclear on is my belief in my ability to change this no matter what information I come up with...

ELIAS: I am understanding.

DARYL: ...because I do have strong medical beliefs. Do I also have a belief within me that I have the ability to turn this around, either using some of their medical methods or using methods of my own? Do I believe that I have that capability?

ELIAS: (Firmly) YES. Yes, you do.

DARYL: So I do have a choice. I’m not a victim of the disease. I have the ability to change things.

ELIAS: Yes. What is the most significant in this is genuinely allowing yourself to be present with yourself and to evaluate what you want, and also knowing that you can change your choice in any moment.

You may initially move in the direction of generating some cooperation with your physicians and engage some methods to be changing the manifestation. Perhaps, hypothetically, you may at some point be re-evaluating your preferences, and you may choose not to continue, or you may engage the reverse action. It is not a situation in which whatever direction you choose you must hold to.

DARYL: But in terms of getting this information that you say would be helpful, that is the way to go at the moment.

ELIAS: That would be my suggestion and I would advocate that, for information allows you greater clarity to be generating more choices. Without information, your choices become very limited.

DARYL: In terms of treatment, also, I saw three people that did energy work. The one I did on the phone, I could tell that it was really affecting, that there were results within me, although I’m not sure that they had to do with what I’m generating. But I wondered if working with that particular person would be helpful in this situation.

ELIAS: Yes. And I may express to you also, it is unnecessary to limit yourself. This is the point of offering yourself more information, for that allows you many options, and you can incorporate many different options in conjunction with each other.

DARYL: If I pursue that, that doesn’t set me in opposition to the medical?

ELIAS: No, if you continue to not be opposing with the medical.

DARYL: But I mean it’s a separate...

ELIAS: Yes, but it is a cooperation that you are generating, and you are allowing yourself to cooperate with you in many different avenues.

DARYL: I think I do have beliefs in that area of energy, that that is helpful...

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: ...and that working with someone else as opposed to being by myself is helpful.

ELIAS: Yes, and that also creates an element of supportiveness, which is also helpful. Have you offered yourself information concerning your Eastern physicians and medical practices?

DARYL: The acupuncture?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: No, I haven’t. I did try to see someone who is an MD and an acupuncturist, but I couldn’t see her for three months so I went elsewhere. But I could get even more information by going to Eastern medicine also? I have identified someone in that field that I think would be a good person to go to.

ELIAS: That is another source that you may engage to offer yourself information also.

DARYL: Now, in terms of believing whether or not that’s effective, I seem to have less faith that that’s effective compared to the direct energy healing or the medical.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

DARYL: Is that an accurate assessment?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Part of this is just trying to validate what I think I’m telling myself.

ELIAS: Yes, I am understanding.

DARYL: One of the other things that I’m curious about is, you know that I had a big resistance to the idea that they were going to do surgery and take my breast off, and finally last week I got to the point that I would let them do it. I wasn’t sure how I could live with it, because it felt like kind of a betrayal. What I created is they won’t do it. It’s not an option because it’s too big, and so they’re refusing to do surgery. (Elias chuckles) The end result is I’m ending up with what I wanted. Although my breast is not in great shape, it’s intact. I feel like that was an intentional way this played out by my choosing aspect. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: And it’s to build trust.

ELIAS: And also in conjunction with allowing yourself to not oppose. In allowing yourself to not oppose, you easily generate directions that are more in keeping with your preferences. That is significant, for that action in itself was one of the reasons that I encouraged you to engage your physicians and not be opposing of your own beliefs. For as I expressed to you in our previous conversation, in doing so, you do offer yourself information through the mere action of allowing yourself to not be in opposition. You validate your own direction and your own preference in allowing yourself NOT to generate that opposition.

DARYL: This is such a hard area for me. If I have a preference for something, but then I say I’m going to do it even though I don’t want to do it, that does seem to be betraying myself. Or was that just me expressing to myself I’ll do it, without... Although it didn’t actually come true. I don’t know how to express this. I feel like going against a preference that is that strong is not a good thing to do, and I really wasn’t sure if I’d be able to live with myself if I had, in fact, had that operation.

ELIAS: But you did not create that.

DARYL: I didn’t create it. So you gotta jump off the cliff, is that what you’re telling me?

ELIAS: You validated yourself in not creating that — that was not your preference. You validated that preference in the response from the physicians in acknowledging that preference. Their reason may be different, but that matters not. The outcome is the same, and the outcome is what YOU are creating.

DARYL: Was that also specifically an action with my choosing aspect, to help me understand it and trust myself more?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Boy, I wish I’d do this a different way! (Laughs) But it IS getting my attention.

ELIAS: And you are offering yourself considerable information. You are widening your awareness considerably.

DARYL: I am. There’s really a potential for claiming my power in this.

ELIAS: (Firmly) Yes, there is.

DARYL: It seems to me it would be either the direction of disengaging, which would be doing something else, or staying here and claiming my power. But that’s for next week’s talk.

ELIAS: Either choice would be an incorporation of potential to be expressing your power, for either choice is an intentional directing of yourself.

DARYL: In the medical model, I’m supposed to oppose the cancer and think of it as evil, and I find it hard to do that. Is that opposing medical beliefs if I try to consider it an expression of self and feel kind of protective of it instead, if I’m doing that while I’m still going to the doctors?

ELIAS: No, but what would be your motivation to be protective of the manifestation?

DARYL: I guess when I consider it an expression of self that...

ELIAS: There are many expressions of self, my friend, that are not necessarily expressions that you prefer or that you like or that you are comfortable with. I...

DARYL: I guess it has to do with accepting my creation or something.

ELIAS: You may be accepting of your creation and not necessarily express a protection of it. You may be accepting of a creation that you have manifest, recognizing that you have created it and acknowledging that, and also choose not to continue or you may choose to continue. That is a matter of an acknowledgment of it.

DARYL: Maybe “protection” isn’t the right word. It’s just that I guess I don’t want to look at it as the enemy is what I’m saying.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: Which doesn’t mean I have to say, oh, it’s fun, it’s like ice cream or something.

ELIAS: Correct, correct. What they are expressing to you may merely be a different form of the inner landscape, which you may not necessarily prefer their form, which is your choice. In that, you may prefer to generate your own visualizations and your own inner landscape which is not expressing opposition.

This is the reason that you are incorporating difficulty with their method, for what you are addressing to now is opposition, and in your assessment, that appears to you to be another expression or form of opposition. Whereas, it may be more in keeping with your preference to engage generating your inner landscape which is merely a cooperation of a natural scene.

DARYL: So I can translate it in my own terms.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: I’ve also noticed, too, that sometimes I feel like when I oppose stuff, I want to express it, because if I don’t do that, then the other person is going to assume that I agree with them. I don’t really have to express all this to them, right?

ELIAS: Correct. You are correct. It is not a matter of...

DARYL: I don’t have to express myself that way. That’s not important...

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: ...to go in there and let them know why I’m doing things the way I’m doing them or how I might disagree.

ELIAS: Correct. (It is) more important to be projecting an energy of cooperation but not acquiescing.

DARYL: If I feel like I’m betraying myself — I know you say we never betray ourselves — but if I feel like something would be betraying self, should I just take that as an emotion and investigate it, or should I take that as a sign that I’m acquiescing?

ELIAS: It would be a signal and worthy of your attention. It would be wise to evaluate what you are expressing to yourself with that signal.

DARYL: I had imagery again that just appeared to me a couple times, which I guess is a new way I’m communicating with myself, where I just see pictures. This was a river, and it had a hospital ship in it, a ship that’s totally a hospital that can move around, and it was sailing away from me. Did that have to do with letting go of some of my opposition of medical beliefs?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I had a dream, I didn’t have a real solid memory of it, but it seemed like I had attended a class or a social gathering with a bunch of other people who are either considering or maybe choosing to disengage. (Elias chuckles) What was that?

ELIAS: Developing your own support group?

DARYL: Oh, no! You’re kidding. (Elias laughs) So is that a way in which I can consider it?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Or if I choose that option, I would have a support group?

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Yes, that you have created!

DARYL: But it isn’t a sign that that’s the way I’ve decided to go?

ELIAS: No, not yet.

DARYL: Because I feel like I’m going back and forth.

ELIAS: And I would be quite in agreement with that assessment. You have not chosen either direction yet. You are continuing to explore what options you incorporate, and (are) offering yourself more information.

DARYL: Also, I really want to understand that I do have choice in both directions, which would fall into the medical beliefs that you don’t have a choice, you get this disease and then you treat it and you either live or you don’t live.

ELIAS: Correct, and this is not true.

DARYL: If I did end up choosing the radiation therapy and I was doing it in as cooperative a way as possible, would that be a way that I could work within the medical system that would allow me to play out my medical beliefs and cooperation but within my preferences?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Is there anything you want to say about that choice?

ELIAS: It is a choice, and it is dependent upon how genuine you are and if you are genuinely cooperating as to how successful that shall be. But there is potential for you to move in that choice and generate a successful outcome. At this point, as I have stated, the success is relative, for it depends upon what you want.

DARYL: Well, I’m going to be thinking about that during the next week and try to come up with ways to discuss that with you to get some clarity on it.

ELIAS: Very well!

DARYL: Do you think you can help me get some clarity on what I want?

ELIAS: Perhaps. It shall be a question of your openness and your willingness to explore.

DARYL: Because if I decide I want to disengage, then it doesn’t matter what they do.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: I would like to think if I decide the other way, it doesn’t matter either, as long as I’m not opposing.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: Though I’m a little shaky around that area! (Laughs with Elias) Thank you for helping me. I realize there are other people in the forum who are dealing with medical beliefs. I’ve encountered a couple of them, and I’m going to be sharing this information at least with them.

ELIAS: I am aware.

DARYL: Are there people outside of the ones I know about? Is this kind of a general theme right now?

ELIAS: Not necessarily a general theme, but there are quite a few individuals that incorporate this type of struggle.

DARYL: So, if I transcribe this and post it on an Elias list, that might be helpful to other people?

ELIAS: Yes. I may express to you, my friend, in this interim time framework until our next discussion, the key point is information and listening to yourself and generating cooperation. I shall be anticipating your progress report! (Both laugh) I shall be continuing to offer my energy to you in supportiveness, encouragement and lovingness.

DARYL: Is Patel really there with me but running around the whole hospital playing?

ELIAS: HA!

DARYL: And Arkandin is hanging out in the room with me?

ELIAS: Accurate assessment! I would be the CALM essence. (Laughs)

DARYL: I did notice there was a lot of blue in the examining room. (Elias laughs) They dress you in blue; the cupboards are blue.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting. I offer to you great affection, appreciation and tremendous lovingness.

DARYL: Thank you.

ELIAS: In friendship. Au revoir.

DARYL: Au revoir.

Elias departs after 35 minutes.

Daryl’s note: I was specifically thinking of the visualizations they give patients of good armies attacking and killing the evil cancer cells. I did not express this verbally to Elias, but he clearly picked up on this.

©2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.