Monday, March 21, 2005 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Daryl (Ashrah).

(Elias’ arrival time is unavailable.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

DARYL: Hi. I’m kind of confused about what I’m creating, what my communications and stuff are, and the imagery I’ve been giving myself, so I wanted to talk to you about that briefly. This is only going to be half a session...

ELIAS: Very well.

DARYL: ...so we don’t have the normal amount of time. I guess I don’t have any faith in my impression about what’s going on, so basically I’ll start by asking am I creating possibly disengaging in the near future through the lump? (Pause)

ELIAS: Not necessarily disengaging yet.

DARYL: Could you clarify that a little bit?

ELIAS: You are creating what you may term to be a potentially serious situation, but not one at this point that necessarily involves disengagement.

DARYL: But it has that potential in it?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I was kind of expecting a yes or no response, so I don’t know where to go from here. I had what I thought was an inner landscape that arose spontaneously regarding the situation, and it was very peculiar and it seems to have come to an end. Do you know what I’m referring to there?

ELIAS: Explain.

DARYL: I saw this room with a bed in it and the lump was there, and I went through watching it do a series of things, some of which were humorous and some of which were sad. Towards the end, it blocked the view, and then I could see the view again and it had had a baby lump. When I looked in again, the whole room had burned to a cinder.

ELIAS: And your evaluation?

DARYL: When I first started it, it seemed like I had accepted something and that the lump was going to be going away. Then it just started going in the other direction, and the lump started getting bigger. I don’t really understand. This morning I was thinking that everything being burned to a crisp was kind of like cremation. But other than that, I’m feeling pretty confused about it.

ELIAS: It is imagery concerning the potential, and that it may incorporate a dramatic potential. And what are you doing? And what do you want?

DARYL: Well, honestly, I’ve been feeling like what I want to do is disengage, but I wasn’t thinking of doing it in a real messy manner. I was thinking maybe three to six months down the road, and it would metastasize and then I could leave. It would give me a chance to say goodbye and finish up some stuff. But then, I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong about what I want, but that’s what I feel like I want. I really don’t feel like I’m up for some really big messy battle.

ELIAS: What you are creating incorporates the potential for disengagement, but what you are choosing in relation to that action may or may not necessarily incorporate that simplicity.

DARYL: What would determine whether or not it would be simple or not?

ELIAS: You.

DARYL: And what I choose?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Is that a reflection of whether or not I would feel at peace with disengagement, or whether or not I would be fighting it? Or is this still in some kind of...

ELIAS: Partially.

DARYL: ...belief area?

ELIAS: If you are not clear as to what you want in relation to that particular choice, you may generate more difficulty in accomplishing it.

DARYL: So if I’m ambivalent about it, my reality’s gonna reflect that?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: On the other side, if I decided I didn’t want to disengage, then I could either do it messily or I could simply make a decision and then the lump would disappear? Is that kind of the...?

ELIAS: You have many choices. You may choose not to disengage, and you may choose many different methods to be addressing to the physical manifestation. You may also choose to continue to create the physical manifestation and generate it in more strength as a method to generate disengaging. But in your terms, either direction may incorporate some messiness. It is not an absolute, as you are aware. But there is potential to be creating that. As I have stated, it is a choice. To continue or to disengage, it matters not.

DARYL: In terms of value fulfillment and my intent having to do with disharmony and then harmony, I guess one of the things that I’ve been thinking about is that I had certain ideas of what harmony would entail and what I wanted after that in terms of relationships and stuff. My understanding of how relationships occur is so different now that I think, in a way, that if I do want to experience harmony, I might prefer to experience it after leaving here. Do you understand?

ELIAS: Yes, I am understanding. But it is this also in conjunction with your intent that is a factor in what you are creating with the physical manifestation.

DARYL: Could you explain that a little?

ELIAS: For you are incorporating both disharmony and harmony in this manifestation. The disharmony is what generates the potential of creating less ease. You may ultimately create successfulness in whatever direction you choose, but as I have stated, there is a potential for some dramatic element.

DARYL: When I do think about disengagement, and kind of what started me thinking about this, it seems to bring me this sense of peace and excitement. I feel more harmony in that direction. Is that...

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: That seemed to me to be a communication from myself about that choice.

ELIAS: Yes, but the physical manifestation remains, and the experiences in association with that incorporate the potential for dramatic experiences.

DARYL: When I think of it being a vehicle to disengage, the lump, I feel at peace with it and I don’t want to fight with it. I feel different about it than I have.

ELIAS: I am understanding. But the belief in relation to what you have physically manifest and what occurs physically in relation to that type of manifestation is expressed. Therefore, as I have stated, ultimately you may be successful in your choice, but in that process, you also incorporate the potential to be experiencing significant discomfort.

DARYL: My understanding would be that that would be with or without medical treatment...

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: ...because the medical treatment would be uncomfortable in itself.

ELIAS: Correct. But without...

DARYL: There’s potential for discomfort either way...

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: ...if I choose to disengage or if I choose not to disengage?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Great. (Laughs) Ah, god. And there’s also a way that I could choose to disengage with less discomfort, or I could decide not to disengage and have less discomfort?

ELIAS: Yes, that is correct.

DARYL: But it all has to do with my beliefs?

ELIAS: It is a matter of your beliefs and the influences of them, and whether you are opposing them or whether you are not.

DARYL: I’ve already encountered a lot of beliefs about death, just trying to think about this this week and talk to people. I’ve realized that in mass beliefs, the idea that one could just say okay, I don’t want to fight this, I just want to die, is not acceptable.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

DARYL: So that would include also dealing with beliefs about death, I would assume.

ELIAS: Yes. Also, as we have discussed previously, your beliefs concerning your medical professions and their practices, and not incorporating opposition to those, either – which that is an automatic response with you.

DARYL: Yes, and I don’t know how to change that. I’ve been trying to address to that area for a long time now.

ELIAS: I am aware.

DARYL: I guess I’m not making a lot of progress. I wondered also about working with somebody maybe who does energy healing, working with energy as opposed to the medical profession. Not with the idea necessarily of clearing it, but just kind of making it more comfortable.

ELIAS: That is another choice which you may engage if you are so choosing.

DARYL: I don’t see medical... I mean, their response would not be to just offer some palliative care, I don’t think. They would want to be more aggressive about it.

ELIAS: But that is YOUR choice of whether to comply.

DARYL: Yes, but... I don’t know. (Pause) I also thought I was encountering a truth lately about not liking being alive in physical reality. Is that a factor in this?

ELIAS: Partially, yes.

DARYL: So that is a truth?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I feel like you’re not volunteering much information about this. Is there anything else you can add that would help me understand what I’m creating and how to deal with this?

ELIAS: But you already understand what you are creating. It is unnecessary for myself to be offering you information that you already know. You know you have created this physical manifestation. You are aware of the potential of this physical manifestation. You have offered yourself communications in relation to it. You recognize the choice of the potential of disengagement.

You are continuing to choose not to incorporate a method to alter this manifestation. Therefore, as you continue to not generate a method to alter the manifestation, you also increase your potential in association with your beliefs that this shall be a method for you to successfully engage that choice of death. Your confusion is questioning yourself whether that is actually what you want or not.

DARYL: If that is what I want, then if I seek conventional medical treatment, that essentially isn’t going to make any difference in the outcome.

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: In terms of value fulfillment, if I do choose that, then I’m okay within my value fulfillment, because I wouldn’t be choosing it if I wasn’t?

ELIAS: Correct. Every choice that you incorporate is associated with your value fulfillment. In this, in engaging your physicians, YOU incorporate the power, YOU incorporate the choice of what you shall and shall not do. But you may also clarify some of your own information.

DARYL: As a result of dealing with medical, you mean, I would clarify my own information?

ELIAS: Yes. In engaging your medical sciences and your physicians, you may offer yourself more clarity in what you actually want. For in the moment that you choose to engage that action, you shall not be opposing those beliefs, and in not opposing those beliefs, that is the moment that you shall offer yourself more information in conjunction with what you want.

DARYL: And that would have to be through Western medicine as opposed to like acupuncture...

ELIAS: Not necessarily.

DARYL: ...or some other kind of healing? When I think about talking to somebody in Western medicine, what they’re going to want to do as a preliminary step would be cut everything out and then they’d want to do radiation and chemotherapy, and I really don’t want any of those.

ELIAS: You are moving much in future of yourself. In this, in the engagement of a physician within your medical sciences, that is not the action that they shall initially express.

DARYL: It seems to me it would be.

ELIAS: Would they not engage a consultation initially?

DARYL: To me, they would probably just assume that that was what was going on and maybe do a biopsy. But I don’t know.

ELIAS: But the physicians cannot engage you without your allowance of that. Therefore, it is your choice.

DARYL: It just seems kind of crazy for me to go in there set to say I’m not going to do this. But I guess I could change my mind and stuff.

ELIAS: That is not the point. The point is to be engaging an action that is not opposing your beliefs.

DARYL: This could be someone who is not necessarily in regular medical science? Would that be better or more effective?

ELIAS: You may engage several actions, if you choose.

DARYL: I mean, I was wondering about asking – I don’t know if she does it long distance – but asking Muriel if she would be willing to interact with me about this. Would something like that be...?

ELIAS: You may.

DARYL: That might be useful?

ELIAS: Somewhat.

DARYL: But not as useful as something more direct?

ELIAS: I am not comparing. I am merely suggesting that you allow yourself more than one avenue.

DARYL: It would be beneficial to include traditional Western medicine, but they could also include other medical disciplines?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I know I am much more resistant to the Western stuff.

ELIAS: I am aware.

DARYL: I suppose that means that’s the one I should face or something.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. The point is to not be opposing your beliefs, and that IS what you are doing.

DARYL: Because I believe in Western medicine, or medicine.

ELIAS: Yes. You do not agree with their methods, but you do incorporate the belief that they generate success.

DARYL: Now, would the difference between that and something else like acupuncture be that I don’t have as much belief that they generate success, or are they kind of... I know I’m less familiar with that.

ELIAS: That would be efficient also. You incorporate less resistance to that method, for you view that method as being less invasive.

DARYL: But that would also be an effective way of dealing with the beliefs that I’m opposing?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: That’s what I’m trying to understand, partially because it would be...

ELIAS: Yes, for it is an allowance of yourself to not be opposing some type of medical method incorporating what you perceive to be helpfulness from other individuals.

DARYL: That would also help me get the information you were talking about?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: I see our time is about up. So is this actually, at this point, is this actually cancer, or is it still kind of a potential? Or should I not even ask because it will solidify it? I can just deal with it as an unknown at this point?

ELIAS: That would be my suggestion.

DARYL: It’s only in the past week that it seemed to me like it was going there. It isn’t like I’ve thought of it as definitely that before.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

DARYL: I already have a session scheduled for a month from today.

ELIAS: Very well, and I shall be anticipating your progress report, and we shall see what you choose.

DARYL: I think everybody’s pretty bummed out, so maybe in New Orleans you could give everybody some helpful information. (Elias laughs) There seems to be a general sense of desperation around, discomfort and irritation and all kinds of things like that.

ELIAS: I am aware. (Chuckles) Fear not!

DARYL: Before I let you go, I’ve noticed lately my fear level on several occasions. All my fears disappeared or big chunks of it. Is that related in some way to this also?

ELIAS: Yes.

DARYL: Because it seems like... You want to say how it’s related, or is that for me to investigate?

ELIAS: You are offering yourself some element of comfort in entertaining the possibility of disengaging, for in merely entertaining that possibility you have allowed yourself to relax somewhat and are not striving.

DARYL: So I’m not pushing myself as much, huh?

ELIAS: Correct.

DARYL: Wow, what a way to do it. (Laughs)

ELIAS: That is not to say that you must disengage to continue this type of direction in not pushing, for you are also becoming familiar with this action of relaxing and allowing yourself and not pushing yourself.

DARYL: Well, thank you very much for helping me with this.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I shall be anticipating our next meeting and your choices. To you in great friendship and great affection, au revoir.

DARYL: Au revoir.

(Elias’ departing time is unavailable.)

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Copyright 2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.