Wednesday, October 27, 2004 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anonymous

(Elias’ arrival time is 13 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

ANON: Good morning, Elias. How are you?

ELIAS: As always, and yourself?

ANON: I’m okay. I’m not sure whether I’ve taken ten steps forward or twenty steps back, so I’ll get right into the questions, if that’s all right.

ELIAS: Very well.

ANON: Last week I manifested a very traumatic experience, and I went completely into victim role and the whole bit. I got really frustrated and angry and just felt really disconnected. I worked with it a little bit, and yesterday I reached a place of allowing myself not to do anything. There was just a really quiet place inside of myself, and like physically not having to do anything. There’s no force, but there seems to be no motivation, either. I’m just wondering, is this a transition place, or what is happening here?

ELIAS: What occurred?

ANON: Yesterday?

ELIAS: No, previously.

ANON: Well, previously it was that I had done a tremendous amount of work — and I do this a lot; I know we talked about this in another session — and I asked that I be included in the publication in a newspaper, and somehow that didn’t manifest — obviously, I didn’t create that. I was really angry, because I felt that I wasn’t taking someone else’s place, I was just asking to take my own place. I’m really mad at myself, because I feel like I need to take my place in the world, but I can’t do it. Then I was really seriously thinking that disengaging was probably something that... You know, I feel like I struggle too much, and I know that I do, so I went into this complete opposite mode of just allowing.

The day before this happened, though, I was reading a transcript, because I was still working with money, and I read a piece about giving up control, and I thought, “Oh, my gosh, that’s exactly it, control.” I’m ready to let that particular bird go, but then I felt so empty inside even contemplating it. Anyway, that’s what happened.

ELIAS: For you are letting go of the familiar, and that may be somewhat overwhelming in different scenarios and in association with different expressions that are very familiar but are not necessarily efficient. But regardless of whether they are efficient or not, they offer you a sense of a foundation. If you are altering that and letting go, especially in association with control, that appears to you to be dissolving your foundation — and therefore, what shall you hold to? — which may be somewhat overwhelming.

In this, as you allow yourself to relax and to merely be with yourself, that incorporates somewhat of a calming affect, but the reason that you are experiencing a lack of motivation is that the control is so very familiar, and without the control there appears to you to be no other type of foundation. Therefore, objectively you do not incorporate an idea of how you shall proceed or how you shall express yourself if that one particular expression is not being incorporated. In a manner of speaking, you perceive your individual world in one manner, and the element of control is the glue that holds that world together. Without that glue, how shall you hold your world together?

ANON: I knew that was happening, but I don’t think I’m consciously not making the choice to go back to the control again.

ELIAS: I am understanding. I am understanding that that is somewhat fearful, and it is also somewhat overwhelming and confusing. This is what generates the lack of motivation. But do not let the lack of motivation increase your fear or discourage you. For in allowing yourself to become more comfortable incrementally with letting go of control in different situations and not attempting to eradicate it altogether at once, you may be experiencing more and more of an ease in not expressing that control. But do not force yourself.

Recognize situations and expressions that you are responding to in association with control, and in that letting go, do not generate expectations of yourself. Merely allow yourself to move into it and not expect yourself to actually DO anything, for you already are doing. It does not appear that you are doing, but in the lack of doing physically, you are doing; you are allowing. It is merely unfamiliar, and therefore may be somewhat uncomfortable, for it is somewhat confusing. But that shall dissipate also. Moving into the unfamiliar can be quite challenging, and this is the reason that I have expressed so very many times that shifting may generate trauma, for it is very unfamiliar.

ANON: Yes, I feel like I’m at that place right now, because there’s a number of things that come up with that. Like yesterday, when I was allowing myself to just let go and not have any demands on myself — shoulds and have-tos, I call them.

Actually, last week I felt I was struggling and struggling with the money thing and all that stuff. I felt that I kept diving into a pit of tar, like black water or something. I just stopped struggling, and my head popped up and there I was in this beautiful air. There was no land or anything anywhere near it. I got to the point where I was actually floating on the water. I felt like I was in two places. I was in this water that was actually holding me up or at times trying to suck me down, but I was also in this air.

Yesterday, I was sitting with myself and I did a lot of writing. I think that’s my form of listening to my impressions and getting clear on what my impressions are and what my inner self is saying to me. Is that true?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I find it very helpful to listen inside, and I just felt I was unhooking everything. So what if I don’t finish my MBA? How many things in my world would I stop doing if I didn’t have the shoulds and the have-tos attached to them? (Very emotionally) And it was almost like everything! It really made me see how much I hook things together, that I have to do this or this won’t happen, the cause and effect stuff. Yesterday was the first day where I just started unhooking everything. But I’m not quite at the point of going where do I want to go forward, what do I want to do.

ELIAS: And do not overwhelm yourself with those thought processes. This is a process, and you are engaging one element of this process. You are engaging movement of moving away from what has been so very familiar. Allow yourself a time framework in which you may relax and merely allow, and not to generate another type of movement which shall become merely another face of the old familiar in which you begin to generate the shoulds and have-tos, all of those expectations that you express in association with yourself, and merely generate a new mask for it. For that may be quite easily expressed, but that is not the point.

(Gently) I am aware of your genuine desire, and in that, allow yourself to relax and not generate the expectations of yourself. This is a very unfamiliar action, I am aware. But it is also a very liberating direction.

ANON: I had the literal feeling of unhooking links in a fence, and I’ve been behind this fence this whole time. That was some of the imagery that I was getting. Also, I was dealing with an issue with my body. The body imagery was very interesting, because I had the image of me just letting go, unhooking the food, the exercise, and just letting the natural flow of my body, that for some reason I haven’t trusted, and let that manifest how it will. It’s very beautiful and it’s very natural.

So I let go, and I just felt like there was all this help, these guides or angels or whatever, just pulling out tendrils of energy from me. It wasn’t that they were taking anything away; it was that they were taking them out of me and hanging them up like banners so I could actually choose if I wanted to engage those things, rather than having them engaged inside of me based on shoulds and have-tos.

But then when it came down to my body imagery, it was like I need to decide here whether I want to be in this cage, and anyway, I let go. It was like I had this corset around me, and they unhooked it and I completely disappeared in the middle. Then this imagery of my natural body, my beauty, my sexuality, all that stuff, integrated with me and gathered up all these pieces in a way that it wanted to, and it felt very beautiful. It felt like I could just let go and let that happen. But then in my physical body, for the rest of the day I felt so heavy and so swollen and so misshapen, and today I have developed a bad infection, like a cellulitis infection, in an old surgery site again. I’m not sure what I’m doing there, or if they’re connected.

ELIAS: Yes, it is connected. Let me express to you, in a manner of speaking what you are engaging in this process is a type of surfacing of your beliefs, issues of control, and how that control is interlinked with ALL of your reality in every direction.

In that, as you are allowing different elements of that to surface, in a manner of speaking what you are doing, figuratively, is a type of purging, generating surfacely different issues associated with control — different manifestations, different imageries associated with any type of expression of control — and generating them in some type of physical expression. Whether it be with your physical body, whether it be in interaction with other individuals, whether it be in scenarios or imagery such as recognition or exposure, it matters not. You are engaging an action of generating all of these different avenues in which you express control in some obvious manner to yourself that you may experience it, and experience how that generates restriction with you, how that constricts you, how it restricts your movement, therefore EXPERIENCING your truth.

In that, what you are also generating, as I have stated, figuratively speaking, is a type of purging. For if you allow yourself to view and to experience those elements that have been expressed previously associated with control, you recognize how that hinders you and how it cages you, and that motivates you to let go.

ANON: I guess that’s what I’m trying to do. That’s what I felt like yesterday where I was letting go. I was just very surprised at the pervasiveness of this, because it felt like there was nothing that was not engaged with this type of control. I’m an action person, and I was reading one of the transcripts or the digest on effortlessness, and I think I get the concept of action, control, and trusting self mixed up. Like you say, for example if we want to manifest money or whatever, it’s not about people sitting on their pillows and doing nothing; so I, in turn, take action, or try and take action, but really what that action is is taking control.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ANON: I’m not trusting myself at this point, anyway, to move forward without taking control within my action again. It’s almost like I need to get this to ground zero and clear everything before I’m even going to be given any more information on how to move forward in a way with less control or without control.

ELIAS: I am understanding, yes. In this, allow yourself to move through the process, recognizing that what you are generating is an allowance of yourself to experience that which hinders you.

As an example, you generated this calm yesterday, and you experienced some of your freedom in letting go. Subsequently, you generate this heaviness and physical manifestations; but as you have stated, they are associated with each other. For in generating the experience of the heaviness and the physical manifestations, you offer yourself a clear view of how generating control in association with your physical body and incorporating those shoulds and have-tos and cause and effect and consequences, and generating the rigidity of the control previously, this is what it generates, this heaviness and manifestations. It does not generate your freedom. Therefore, you offer yourself clear examples of the differences, what it FEELS as control is expressed and how it FEELS with the lack of that.

ANON: So, the heaviness is symbolic of the control?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: And the freedom yesterday when I was doing my writing and all that stuff was the letting go?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Did I take control on again and that manifested the heaviness or is this...

ELIAS: No! No.

ANON: It’s all part and parcel of it. It’s just imagery to me, like you had the experience of letting go, now this is the experience of taking control. You haven’t taken control...

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: ...this is the experience of what it feels like when you take control.

ELIAS: Correct. You are offering yourself examples in actual physical experiences that you shall generate a clarity and an understanding of the differences.

ANON: Last night, when I was starting to feel doubt of whether or not the letting go would manifest into my natural flow, unhooked, I know that I was questioning a little bit that now I’ve manifested this infection, and to me this infection means slow down and stop.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Is that what all this is about? It’s like don’t go back; it’s okay for you to rest now...

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: ...and take this time to do nothing.

ELIAS: Yes, and not to be generating the expectations.

ANON: I’m not a lazy being, am I?

ELIAS: No, not at all!

ANON: This quietness is very new for me.

ELIAS: Let me also express to you, as I speak to individuals of effortlessness, that is not synonymous with lack of action. Effortlessness may be expressed and achieved in tremendous action, but whatever the action is is perceived to be effortless, for it is not work.

ANON: I understand that conceptually. Let’s use money for an example again. Am I making some progress with that aspect?

ELIAS: In increments, yes.

ANON: For example, manifesting the lottery — I don’t know why I’m on that kick, but I am. It’s kind of fun for me, too, because it represents the magic of my abilities to manifest, right? It’s so far removed from being in control of something. So, I was thinking have it be effortless, and then I take charge again and I incorporate an action. But action, to me at this stage, is almost synonymous with control. I don’t separate the two right now, which is probably why I’m going through this shift or something. Or am I getting them confused?

ELIAS: Partially both. Yes, partially you are incorporating a lack of action to offer yourself once again the experience of difference and to interrupt the familiar of the control. But you also are somewhat confusing engaging action as always being an expression of control.

ANON: I know it isn’t, and I know when it’s effortless. If I decide to do something, like for example this money thing, I decide this is it and I play with it and I have fun with it, but then I feel like I need to do something to physically manifest it. But really, there is nothing I can do physically to manifest that. If there was, I’d be taking control again. What I need to do is go into the trust piece. Is that...?

ELIAS: Not what you NEED to do; what you WANT to do, for the incorporation of the perception that you need to do...

ANON: Is that the should and have-to again?

ELIAS: Yes. That is an expectation again. It is not a matter of what you NEED to do. It is a matter of what you want, and allowing and trusting yourself.

ANON: I’m actually blocking manifesting this because I don’t want to do it outside of the trusting self piece. Is that...?

ELIAS: Partially, and partially also you are associating this with the lack of control, which is the lack of doing element. Which, as I have expressed to you and as I have expressed to other individuals in association with this type of creation in association with money, with the lottery, that IS an actual doing. It is not chance. It is not an expression of control, but it is also not a lack of control in a lack of doing and a lack of creating. It is not chance.

ANON: But doing is not me getting up and going outside and doing something physically. It isn’t that kind of doing.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: It’s a different kind of action. I think I’m enthralled with this because it doesn’t require that physical get up and go and do.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: It requires the absence of that in my being.

ELIAS: Correct, and it requires genuine trust and genuine allowance to actually create an outward expression. You create many outward expressions. You create many outward physical manifestations in many different manners, and this is another outward creation in similar manner, trusting your ability to actually generate certain manifestations.

ANON: This is one, though, that absolutely, other than just buying a lottery ticket, there is no physical action that you can do to manifest this.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: I was wondering why, because I’m a hard working person, and I’ve never done lottery things my whole life, and then all of a sudden this became very enthralling for me. Now, just in saying that, I think I see why it has.

ELIAS: For this is testing your trust, and it is becoming such a fascination and curiosity to you for this is not an action of manifesting outwardly with materials. This is an action of creating an outward expression without physical materials, which requires a trust of yourself, no doubt, and manipulating energy to generate a physical manifestation from energy.

ANON: Am I making some progress on that?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I’ve been trying to engage my dreams more, so along the same lines I dreamed the other day that I got the first three numbers. There are six numbers in this particular one, but the other three were blocked from me. Last night, before I went to sleep, I asked that I consciously create how I’m going to create this lottery winning. And I don’t know why I’m embarrassed by it; maybe I have a belief that I have to work hard to generate this stuff. Well anyway, I also asked about for some reason I feel very close to manifesting an intimate relationship with a partner. That’s been kind of on hold, but now it feels like that’s in the wings somewhere.

So my dreams, they started out with me working with construction. I kept getting in everyone’s way, and I was burying these large plastic containers and filling them with gravel. Then it moved to me winning the lottery. I think I was a little old lady, and I won the lottery. But before I could cash in the ticket, someone tried to steal it and kidnap me. They hid me for years or something, and then they were caught and I got my lottery winnings. The dream transitioned into I was looking for missing children, and they were hidden in wine cellars, places where you make wine and stuff. Of course everything’s very disjointed in this dream, but I’m just wondering what the heck that means. (Elias chuckles) Does it have anything to do with the questions that I asked?

ELIAS: It is associated with all of the different elements of yourself that you perceive to be hidden from you that you are incorporating challenge and difficulty discovering or engaging, and that you already possess them but they are not necessarily in function. Therefore, they appear to you to be hidden.

ANON: I feel like I really need to allow myself to do nothing, like physically do nothing if I don’t want to do anything for a while. I don’t know how long.

ELIAS: And I would be encouraging of you.

ANON: I’m supposed to finish my MBA, and I’ve got five weeks to study two courses. Is that a probability that I’m going to be doing that?

ELIAS: It is your choice. What do you want?

ANON: Well, I would like to finish it, just for the sake of completing it. But it’s funny, because I’m reading the textbooks and for some reason what I’m seeing are all the constructs and limitations that we’ve built into our businesses and in that world. It’s a very almost surreal type of studying, and that leads to my other question. I’ve been really wanting to go ahead with the business, and I’ve been paralyzed. I feel paralyzed in doing it, because I don’t want to do it within the constructs that are normally accepted.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ANON: The competition, I don’t want that.

ELIAS: And you also do not want to be moving into the expression of your own control once again and snaring yourself in that direction.

ANON: It’s been very, very helpful in that, because I’ve known inside what I want to create. But every time I went to do it, it was like we have to follow this, that have-to, and then we’re stopped and we can’t go forward because that isn’t what I said I wanted in this. It’s been beautiful for me to be noticing, and I keep pulling back and noticing that. I’m at the state that maybe this isn’t the right time for me to be making decisions. Maybe I just need to be calm for a while, just be really quiet for a while, and see what information comes to me. The information is not coming to me right now.

ELIAS: Ah, but it is! You are offering yourself considerable information.

ANON: About my business?

ELIAS: Not necessarily in association with specifics of the business yet, but in association with yourself and becoming much more familiar with yourself, which shall be affecting of how you generate the business.

ANON: Yes. Can you guide me in that, or do I even need to know? Is there information I’m not quite getting that would be helpful for me to...?

ELIAS: No, no, no. You need not overwhelm yourself more.

ANON: So I’m in a state of overwhelm right now?

ELIAS: Allow yourself to relax and to merely engage this aspect of your process, of giving yourself permission to allow and to not force yourself and to not incorporate the shoulds and the expectations, the have-tos. Allow yourself to incorporate a time framework in this element of your process to breathe.

ANON: It was actually very encouraging when you said that I’m not a lazy being. For some reason, I’m worried that I’m going to be lazy if I don’t do all this.

ELIAS: (Laughs) I may express to you, I incorporate little doubt of that scenario! Incorporating allowing yourself to relax and not expressing the expectations and the shoulds is not an expression of laziness.

Let me express to you (chuckles), for I incorporate an awareness of some of the transcriptions that you associate with in this information. Let me express to you, although you may incorporate valuable information in the incorporation of Ulra’s interactions with myself, you express quite a different type of personality. (Laughs) Ulra, as he and I have discussed several times, does incorporate a propensity for laziness and is actually quite comfortable with that expression! Contrarily, you do not. (Chuckles)

ANON: No, my challenge over the past year has been to actually — and it’s been almost traumatic for me — to allow myself to just relax, to allow myself even a day when I’m sick. I have to get sick before I relax...

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ANON: ...and then I begrudgingly do it. Yesterday I feel like I hit a very, very key place. I wasn’t afraid of having no motivation. It was just really...

ELIAS: Different.

ANON: It was almost like it matters not, and the same when I was worrying about the money thing. This was very helpful today, because what I was doing was taking the lottery as being about money, and actually it isn’t about money. Money’s involved in this; the money is almost my celebration. When it happens, I get to celebrate. But it isn’t so much about money as about me trusting my manifesting ability. I’m almost like needing proof that I can do this.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

ANON: I’ve chosen this lottery thing. Should I continue on with that, or should I just can it and do something else?

ELIAS: That also would be your choice. I may express to you that in what you are doing, you are moving more into an understanding of the importance and significance of the factor of trust. As you continue to move in that direction, the prize shall become less and less important, and the proof shall become less and less important, for the proof shall manifest itself in other manners that are equally as obvious.

ANON: I’m interweaving money with a lot of my creations right now, like for example my business. But again, I’m not going to go there too much, but this was a question I’ve had for a while. I see the business that I want to do, and I’m looking at the world right now and seeing that if we took money out of the equation, our world would be completely different. It limits the creativity right now, all this grasping for money and going for it. The way we’ve constructed competition and everything else limits our creative ability because it has to be channeled into that ultimate goal somehow. In my business, I don’t even want to do the planning steps. I want to plan it as if money wasn’t even important in this world, and let the creativity just flow — what do we want to do? How are we coming together and doing all of that?

ELIAS: Which IS quite definitely shifting.

ANON: For me or for everyone?

ELIAS: For you and also within your world. This is the direction of the Shift.

ANON: But right now, Elias, money is needed.

ELIAS: I am understanding, but this is not to say that you cannot begin now in altering that reality.

ANON: That money won’t be needed?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I feel like part of my intent is to somehow be instrumental in setting an example of that shift or something, but I’m not doing it through the absence of money, I’m doing it with a lot of money for some reason. Am I getting that confused?

ELIAS: No, but that is not the point. What is the point is that the money is not your motivation. It is not your goal.

ANON: No, but I want to allow myself the freedom and joy to interact with it in a way that’s almost like its own energy form, which to me is very fun and playful and isn’t about locking it up the way we do.

ELIAS: I am understanding. And that IS the point.

ANON: But I can’t do it if I don’t have it! (Laughs) Does that make any sense?

ELIAS: Yes. (Chuckles)

ANON: So, help me out with that, then. I’m getting caught somewhere.

ELIAS: You are also projecting, once again.

ANON: Oh, I am. So right now I have enough?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I’m thinking about traveling all over the world. My logical thought was it doesn’t matter, I can always disengage; it matters not. So I’ll spend all my money and if I end up having no money, well, it doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll just go and have some fun with it. It’s totally irresponsible from a practical perspective, so...

ELIAS: (Laughs) Perhaps the little pigeon wishes to fly free from its cage.

ANON: Yes, that would be very nice. So, no other advice?

ELIAS: Not to overwhelm yourself. Allow yourself...

ANON: So I really need to be quiet right now. Seale and I are going to be meeting this weekend. I’m excited; I haven’t met anyone from the E-list before. She has a question, if that’s okay.

ELIAS: Very well.

ANON: Her’s is monetary as well. Her question is why can’t she manifest monetary abundance in all areas with ease as she has before. Also, she’s feeling bogged down. What’s that all about, and is it related?

ELIAS: Yes, it is associated, and this also is associated with trust and not forcing energy. Allowance is the key, not forcing, and not concentrating upon the outcome but paying attention to the process and appreciating the process.

ANON: Anything else for her?

ELIAS: You may offer my greetings.

ANON: Now I want to revisit the litigation that we’ve talked about a couple of times. The closure hasn’t manifested, and I was worried because I was reading in one of the transcripts that in any second you can change your mind. I don’t think I’ve changed my mind; I think I’ve still completed that one, and at some point the outcome that is my preference will manifest.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Again, this is about trusting, right? This is about me not doing anything.

ELIAS: And not forcing, but trusting and allowing.

ANON: So, even though I have a thought of doubt, it doesn’t mean I’ve gone there. It’s just another opportunity for me to...?

ELIAS: Notice.

ANON: Notice and then go to the trust place again.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I’ve already dealt with this, and it will happen.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: It’s a very interesting feeling. It’s like in my stomach area where I just get this settling feeling when I do the trust. Is that...?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I’ve been getting the past few days extreme, extreme pains in my shoulders, as if someone’s pressing down with a very sharp stick on both of them, and it’s debilitating. I can’t even move when it happens. I don’t usually get lots of physical manifestations.

ELIAS: Which is also associated with what you are engaging in this process. It is also associated with control and tension, and the tension that is generated in association with control and how that constricts you rather than frees you.

ANON: So when that happens, that’s an indication for me to just relax.

ELIAS: Yes, to be noticing this automatic response and how that generates this tension, and to allow yourself to relax.

ANON: So, this whole piece right now, I feel that what I’m doing is I’m not getting loads of information again on things that I can do, because it’s really, really important for me to respect this quiet place right now.

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: (Laughs) I’m still wanting more answers! I’m very curious.

ELIAS: For you are inquiring of what to DO, and I am expressing to NOT do.

ANON: (Laughs) Okay, that makes sense! But I can dare to dream, right?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Like my writing and all that stuff, I feel like that is a very clear connection that I have with my inner voice.

ELIAS: Yes, and it is very beneficial.

ANON: I want to ask a question about one of my cats. It’s my son’s cat that I inherited, Charlie. He is the most annoying bugger when I’m upset about something. He’ll come and just have to be petted. He’ll even control my computer mouse, and it’s just really, really irritating. My impression is that he’s like, “You need to stop, and you need to bring some love here to the situation.”

ELIAS: Correct, and gentleness. That is irritating to you, for you are pushing. That is familiar and you wish to continue to be pushing, and the creature is reminding you to be expressing gentleness.

ANON: I knew he was doing that, but it made me even madder. (Laughs with Elias) “I know, dammit!” So I don’t need to be doing that, then.

I’ll just ask one more question, from my brother. He and I were going to be doing a business together, but what we ended up doing was our own things first, to understand our own beings first. He’s got this litigation — again, we talked about this before — and I feel like I have to hold back my energy, but I’m still supporting him from our last conversation. Did that shift happen?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: Is there any advice that you can give to him on the process that he’s in right now with that litigation, and with him and his business situation?

ELIAS: To trust himself, to engage his communication of imagination...

ANON: Is this for litigation? Business or litigation?

ELIAS: Both. And to listen to that communication of imagination and to incorporate less seriousness.

ANON: Really? He’s being serious?

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Inwardly, yes.

ANON: Is there a constricting belief that he has on this? We were talking about it, and his impression was that he feels that other people can speak better for him than he can speak for himself.

ELIAS: Correct, which is a discounting of himself. He is equally as adequate as any other individual. This also is associated with beliefs concerning authorities and that other individuals are clearer and more articulate, which is not true.

ANON: I may have been supporting that, because I was very forceful about you need to write it this way and take control and take charge of it. But then I let that go, and I was letting it go more and more — “you can do it yourself.” We had a discussion about what I would do. He wrote his version, and it wasn’t specific like I would do it. I was going to write him back because I was a little bit annoyed, but I thought you know what, this is his; let him do it; he’s fine with it.

ELIAS: Correct.

ANON: I think that was the point where I pulled back my energy. So, this is about trusting himself, then. He’s got different issues than I do, but we were playing off of each other; we were really feeding off of each other.

Now, when this stuff happens and I am going to engage, the people that I choose to interact with will show up, right?

ELIAS: Yes.

ANON: I know that; I’m just a little bit afraid.

Last time you mentioned Pontius Pilate. Was that a focus of mine?

ELIAS: No.

ANON: Good! I don’t know that I could handle that much guilt!

ELIAS: (Laughs) I was incorporating playfulness with you.

ANON: Just one final question, because we’re running out of time here. Possibility is one thing, but potential is something else. Potential can be a trap for shoulds and have-tos, can’t it?

ELIAS: Dependent upon how you are directing yourself and...

The tape ends after 1 hour, 1 minute.

©2008 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.