The Familiar Does Not Fit Any Longer
“The Familiar Does Not Fit Any Longer”
“The Need for Proof”
Sunday, January 11, 2004 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Ben (Albert) and Liam (Benny)
(Elias’ arrival time is 21 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
BEN: Good morning! I think both Mary and I are having technical issues lately. How strange that we’d be doing the same thing at the same time!
ELIAS: Quite unusual, I’m sure!
BEN: Shall we have a question and answer session or...?
ELIAS: It is your choice.
BEN: Well, the main thing I’d like to talk about today is I’ve been having what I guess I’ll be calling a cold for about two months now. I think it’s one of those things that because it’s not serious, it’s been this whole concept of it’s not so much going in the direction of thinking that something needs to be fixed, you go in the direction of thinking there’s something that needs to be understood or a communication that needs to be arrived at, or something along those lines... Are you there?
BEN: Okay, good. So, I think in some cases what’s been going on is most of the time when I get sick it’s just to give myself permission to do what it is I want to do that I wouldn’t do otherwise.
BEN: I know there’s some element of that in it, but then when I got a big fever blister while Liam was here it’s like okay, now I’m getting very confused. It’s just the fact that it’s been here; it’s sort of nagging me. I was hoping that you could help me realize what I’m saying to myself.
ELIAS: And what is your impression, first of all?
BEN: Well, like I said, that I’m giving myself permission to... I think mostly everything that’s going on now has something to do with my wanting to go to London, so I think there’s that aspect of it there. I think that even part of it has to do with going to Castaic next weekend, where I feel on some levels I would like to be in Castaic next weekend but I don’t want to travel. I don’t feel like flying, so I think that “you got sick so you have an excuse for not going.” But this has been going on for a couple of months, so this is broader than any individual thing. It’s something along those lines.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct, and in this, what you are expressing in this imagery is a partial dissatisfaction with what you are actually doing in this time framework and its contrariness to what you want. Therefore, you express mild irritations and you image that physically, for you continue to be in this physical location and moving in the direction of what is familiar and engaging familiar actions and activities; but this is not what you want, and therefore, there is a mild irritation being expressed. What you want is to be in the other location.
BEN: There’s two aspects to that, because in one case it’s sort of like I decide that okay you’re sick and you should just take it easy. But there’s certain things that I think have to be accomplished before I can get to London, and I keep putting them off and procrastinating. Sometimes when I give myself this break of being sick, it’s almost like going oh gee, now you don’t have to do any of those things that you think you’re supposed to do because you’re sick.
But the flip side of it is lately I’ve been thinking, I mean, you were the one that brought up the concept that physical relocation is just objective imagery of an internal movement, and in some cases I feel like on some level I can kind of move to London in my mind, almost. There are certain things I can do, like I’m in London now and I can play at being in London already and get a lot of information that way, and so it all seems counterproductive.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) But what you are expressing, as you have identified, is your own procrastination. You have expressed a want, and in this, let me express to you as I have to other individuals recently also, it is significant that you pay attention to what you are actually doing and what truths are being expressed.
It is quite significant in this time framework to be genuinely paying attention to your experiences, for within those experiences are expressed your truths. I may not emphasize strongly enough the importance in this time framework of genuinely paying attention to these truths and allowing yourself to evaluate them and how they are influencing of you, for you may be moving with this wave and generate a tremendous power and offer yourself tremendous information, or you may move in the familiar and you may confuse yourself tremendously and create conflict and even trauma.
Now; I am aware that you are not creating trauma and you are not creating much conflict, but you are creating confusion. The reason that the confusion ensues is that the awareness is expanded to a point in which the familiar does not fit any longer within your reality. Therefore, you, in a manner of speaking, react to yourself in creating imagery that becomes confusing, for it is your response to yourself in not moving in directions that are in conjunction with your awareness.
Your awareness has become wider than the familiar experiences and directions, and therefore they are insufficient any longer. In this, you are offering yourself evidence of your awareness and the widening of that in your identification of playing this game with yourself, in expressing to yourself that in some manners you may proceed as though you are already in this other location and you may incorporate certain actions that would be incorporated if you were physically in the other location — but you also know that you are not.
In this, the game that you are incorporating is an evidence of expanding your awareness and not viewing your reality in such black and white terms, but you also are not incorporating definitive actions to actually relocate yourself. In that and in the movement of the familiarities, you are, in a manner of speaking, generating a mild rebellion with yourself.
The incorporation of visit with your partner is a familiar action incorporated in your present physical dwelling. The action of generating a movement to the physical location associated with our group session is another familiar action. The actions that you incorporate daily in association with your employment are familiar actions, and they are actions that reinforce a type of complacency. They are not actions that reinforce the movement into your want.
BEN: One of the things that I thought was an interesting creation was I got an offer for a job in South Korea. To me, this had to do with the fact that I think it’s supposed to be or that I want it to be magic, that I’m just magically going to create a job in London and then I’ll take it and I’m ready to go. Even though I want these things to happen, maybe it’s part of the familiar/unfamiliar thing, that I have a belief that it could have happened magically and I also have a belief that it’s going to be difficult.
ELIAS: Correct. But which is expressed more strongly? That is what is significant.
BEN: Oh yes, definitely. And I’m still here!
ELIAS: Yes. You are correct. But remember, you create what you concentrate upon. Therefore, the belief that is expressed stronger is the belief that you are concentrating upon, and therefore, that is what you create. But you are correct, you do incorporate another expressed belief that concerns creating this type of movement magically, in your terms, and you present evidence of that in the other offer, but not in the location that you want.
BEN: It was just a reminder on some level of “that’s why you’re procrastinating, because you think it should be magical or you think that you can also have this happen without you doing these things that you think you need to do first.”
ELIAS: Correct. But what is significant is to evaluate what is the stronger expressed belief and address to that.
BEN: Okay. I’m going to let you talk to Liam for a little while.
ELIAS: Good morning.
LIAM: I’m not sure what to talk about, actually. I’ve got a few little quick things I want to talk about.
ELIAS: Very well.
LIAM: I was watching a TV show about Lee Harvey Oswald and I decided that’s a focus of Ben. Then Christian was jokingly referring to Ben as being Lee Harvey Oswald, so I wanted to know if that was a focus of Ben.
ELIAS: An overlapping focus, yes.
LIAM: So it definitely was?
LIAM: He hates the idea of that!
BEN: I do not!
LIAM: And would Frank have been Jack Ruby?
LIAM: Would I have been involved in any of this?
ELIAS: An acquaintance.
BEN: Liam was saying that he had a concurrent focus in Iceland. For whatever reason, I’m attracted to the idea of the Middle East and the Arab world, so I’m having the impression I must have a concurrent focus somewhere in the Arab world.
BEN: Yes, that’s exactly what I would have guessed. My other thing is, if I’m Lee Harvey Oswald and that is my focus, then I’m going to say that it’s my impression that there was some aspect of that event where I was framed.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
BEN: So I didn’t actually do anything but I was arrested for it and killed for it or whatever. Even though I was intending to do it, I wasn’t actually the person who did it.
BEN: This was an interesting concept that Liam and I were discussing recently, which has to do with both of our relationships with Mikah. The interesting thing to me is not so much thinking about what his part of this is, but sort of what’s our payoff for the creation where Micah doesn’t like to be interactive with the two of us when we’re together. I think for me, personally, my payoff must be that in a sense I have different aspects of me, that there’s a different Ben that interacts with Mikah than interacts with Liam. Even though in the short time the three of us were together I didn’t really experience any conflict, I think the payoff for me is like I should see those things separately or that I can be more of the me that I am than I would be if I had to integrate my personality.
BEN: Does that sound like something?
ELIAS: Yes. In this, it affords you less distraction.
BEN: And what about Liam’s payoff?
ELIAS: It affords him more individual time in your company without incorporating a shared interaction.
BEN: I have another kind of focus thing. I really enjoyed meeting Monique, as you call her, and I think that we must share a focus where we are together in either Italy or Spain. I see her as a woman and either she’s Spanish or she’s Italian. I’m not quite sure who I am or what our relationship is, but that’s how I see her.
ELIAS: Spain. Yes, you are correct.
BEN: So what time framework was this and what was our relationship?
ELIAS: Friendship; time framework early 1700s.
BEN: Were we both female, or she was female and I was male?
ELIAS: Both female.
BEN: Was there something unique about this friendship that this would be the focus that I would turn to initially?
ELIAS: Quite an intimate relationship, what you would term to be quite strong.
BEN: Okay. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are welcome.
BEN: I guess we could always wrap it up with anything that you want to offer that might be helpful at this moment. Liam says he wants advice and not just “pay attention to yourself.”
ELIAS: And what advice would you be seeking?
BEN: Something subjective that he can’t see, whatever that means.
ELIAS: Ah, he is incorporating a request for parlor tricks.
BEN: You know, that’s interesting, because remember when you told Liam that he had a focus as a famous Japanese dancer? I had come up with a name, and when I talked to you I was trying to get you to say the name without me saying it first. You kept saying no, that would be a parlor trick. For me, it really is in line with the truth wave. It has to do with the concept of proof, that I have a belief that if information comes from disparate places and matches up, there’s more of a chance that it’s true. It was just a concept of I come up with something and you come up with something, and is it the same. Because if it is the same, then I’m going to believe it versus you just saying it. For me it wasn’t a parlor trick; at least I didn’t feel that it was.
ELIAS: Ah, but this is the point in what you have expressed yourself. It is a proof, and there are no proofs. That is a truth and therefore is not true.
In this, it is not the point for myself to incorporate a proof to you or to any individual of my authenticity or of my reality. What is important is that you are examining your reality and your truths. It does not incorporate more truth or generate more of an absolute if I incorporate parlor tricks with you. It merely reinforces your absoluteness in your truths, in your facts, and facts are not absolute, either.
BEN: Well, it’s interesting in this particular case, because I go into it thinking that I have this name and I have found out what Liam’s famous Japanese focus is. But then, of course, if I hadn’t brought it up with you, I would go on continuing to believe that is the case. But the minute that you tell me that that’s not who this person is, now I don’t believe that anymore. It can be just as interesting where you can say it’s about what I think, but it’s also brought up conflicting information. My beliefs can change quite suddenly.
ELIAS: Correct. But also, these are guidelines, my friend. For if I express to you an identification of or response of “no, the name that you are incorporating is not the individual,” what I am expressing to you is not an absolute, but it is a directive, so to speak, an encouragement of you to be paying more attention to your impressions more clearly and not merely guessing.
BEN: That’s what I thought was really interesting, because you didn’t just say no, you said no but this was another focus within the forum and probably someone that I knew. In this moment, I would venture an impression that perhaps it was Douglas.
BEN: So to me, it was sort of like it wasn’t that I was guessing. It was that there was some connection there.
BEN: I knew there was some connection between me and this individual, or this individual and someone that I knew, and it wasn’t necessarily that it was a right or wrong answer.
BEN: It was sort of like close but no cigar.
ELIAS: Correct. But in this, let me express to you that in that interaction it is not a discounting of your impression but an encouragement to being evaluating that impression more clearly, and the association with the individual was a guess. The impression was correct in that you were offering yourself information concerning another focus, but who you attached to that focus was a guess. In this, as you present that to yourself in your interaction with myself — for this is merely another avenue in which you offer yourself information — it motivates you to reevaluate and to pay attention more clearly to your impression.
BEN: Let me ask you a question along with this idea of focuses and no absolutes. As you were telling Liam before that we have now more focuses together than we first had, there must have been some circumstances where, let’s say, I have a focus as Sir Alfred Douglas but then that’s no longer my focus. You might have less focuses.
ELIAS: Yes, you may generate that also.
BEN: To me, going back to Margot and Gerhard’s focus database, that can only be a history of what was said and what was determined. It’s always in free flux.
ELIAS: Yes, that is correct. It is not an absolute.
BEN: Well, we’re going to wind up here. I’m going to let you say anything you’d like to say to Benny, but thank you very much for spending the morning with us. It’s always a pleasure to talk with you. Well, it’s not always a pleasure, but it was a pleasure today.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Very well. And I express my pleasure in our conversation also, Albert. As always, I offer my supportiveness and affection to you, to you both. I anticipate our next meeting in fondness, my friends. Au revoir.
Elias departs after 1 hour, 12 minutes.
(Portions omitted by request.)
©2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.