Mirroring or Reflecting
“Mirroring or Reflecting — When Is It Him Being a Creep and Not Me?”
“The Triangle Is Complete”
Friday, December 27, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Joanne (Gildae) and Marj (Grady)
Elias arrives at 2:37 PM. (Arrival time is 23 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
JOANNE: Hey, Elias!
MARJ: Hey, Elias, how are you?
ELIAS: As always. And yourself?
JOANNE: Oh, hanging in there! (Joanne and Elias laugh) As always!
MARJ: For a long time we said to ourselves, “Oh gosh, I hope we’re gonna get to talk to him again!” (Elias chuckles) So it’s really great to hear your voice.
ELIAS: And what have you been noticing in this time framework?
MARJ: Wow! (Elias laughs) Where do we start?
JOANNE: I wanted to talk to you about the mirror thing. I don’t know, something started clicking not too long ago that I’m creating everything. It’s been really interesting with the mirror and I kind of laughed. My biggest question is, is the mirror always on?
ELIAS: Let me express to you, the reflection is constant but it may not necessarily be an expression of mirroring continuously. There is a difference, for at times you present to yourself mirror imagery but at times you may be reflecting and not precisely mirroring.
You are always reflecting, for all of the energy that you project outwardly is motivated by what is being generated inwardly within you. Any energy that you project outwardly, you shall reflect to yourself as another means of communication to yourself, to offer yourself information concerning what YOU are generating within yourself.
Now; at times, your reflections may be an expression of imagery that offers you information concerning what you may be choosing in the moment to be addressing to, or it may be a reflection of a belief that you are expressing, merely for your awareness of it. But at times, you may be generating the type of reflection which we term to be a mirroring action, which incorporates more of an intensity. Generally speaking, as you present a mirror action to yourself, you are engaging that type of action to be offering yourself more of a clarity in what you are addressing to.
JOANNE: I’ve seen that and was really amazed by how that worked. My husband and I, we were arguing over money and he was saying all these things about how it was all his and he earned it and stuff. I was getting really, really upset and wound up storming off. Then this little voice said, “What are you getting mad at him for? All he did was say everything you believe.” It just took the wind right out of my sails! It was like I wasn’t mad at him anymore; I was just in awe, because if you asked me what I thought I believed, I would have said something different.
But it totally hit me that everything he said was everything I believed, every little fear I had. He pushed every button about self-worth, about money, everything. It really, really opened my eyes to what I believe. (Emotionally) It hurt to realize that that’s what I thought of myself. And it hurt to realize that I was basically, through my beliefs and my perceptions and stuff, I felt like I was turning him into this awful person. I don’t know if this is coming out coherently.
ELIAS: I am quite understanding what you are expressing.
JOANNE: I started to feel really bad. It’s like here’s this person I say I love, and then through my beliefs and my perception, I just create these awful scenarios and I hurt myself. It’s been really surprising to see that and really feel and know that I’m doing it.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
What you generate, my friend, is not unusual. But this is the significance of becoming familiar with yourself and paying attention to yourself, that you recognize what the expressions of your beliefs are. In this, I am understanding of your distress in your discovery, but also recognize that you have offered yourself a wondrous opportunity. For in noticing and actually recognizing objectively what your beliefs are and how they influence your perception, you offer yourself choice.
JOANNE: I also started to notice, in looking around at, say, not the people that are closest to me but a step or two away, looking at what they were doing in their lives and realized that everybody out there is showing me a choice or a possibility of something. It’s either a belief or a choice I could make or a possibility.
That was really amazing to see that, because I could never quite figure out how... I’m like an either/or kind of person. It’s right or it’s wrong. It’s black or it’s white, so trying to come up with other choices is hard. Then I started looking around and I saw what my sister was doing and the choices she was making, and saying okay, I could make those kinds of choices too — just looking at various people. And that was surprising.
But the hardest thing has been to realize how much I really don’t like myself, and I’m sure I haven’t even really scratched the surface on that. But what I believe about myself and having it reflected back has been really difficult.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
JOANNE: I was walking around like, when is it him being a creep and not me? (Both laugh) Me turning him into a creep or...
ELIAS: Let me express to you a clarification. You are correct that all that you generate within your reality, every moment, every experience, every aspect of it, is generated through your perception. Therefore you create it.
BUT also remember that you do interact with other individuals. You interact with the energy projection of other individuals, and other individuals may project an energy expression with the intention of being hurtful, just as YOU may project energy with the intention of being hurtful. But it matters not, for what is significant is HOW that energy is received and that you recognize that there are no accidents.
Your reality is a wondrous expression. It is, figuratively speaking, an immaculate machine that is perfectly tuned. Therefore, as I express to you each that you are already perfect, what I am expressing to you is that you are so very highly efficient within the design of your physical reality that it may be viewed by yourselves as an amazement. There are no accidents. You draw to yourself precisely the type of energy expression in every moment that you yourself are projecting also as a reflection.
Therefore, in a moment that you may be perceiving your partner to be a monster and you may be questioning yourself in when is he actually projecting this obnoxious energy, he may be projecting energy with the intention of expressing an obnoxiousness and you have precisely generated placing yourself in the environment and the interaction to be receiving that precise expression, in the moment, to reflect to yourself what YOU are expressing inwardly. This not to say that you may be continuously generating comfortableness, but you are highly efficient in what you draw to yourself and where you place yourself within each moment of your reality, and all of it offers you information.
This is the significance of paying attention to you and paying attention to what beliefs influence your perception, paying attention to what you actually do and generate in action and what you communicate to yourself in many different manners. For if you are familiar with these different expressions of yourself, you also empower yourself to intentionally manipulate your energy and generate choices that shall create what you want without conflict, rather than generating uncomfortable and discounting experiences.
You may recognize in this experience what you have offered to yourself as an opportunity. For although you may have generated an uncomfortable experience and you view the information to be distressing that you have offered to yourself and you may be experiencing a sadness in your realization, you may also offer to yourself an acknowledgment in noticing and paying attention and generating an experience that allowed you to move the concept from being a concept into reality, and this is powerful. For you may recognize that previously you may have been engaging similar types of interactions with your partner and been unaware objectively of the influence of your beliefs or of what you were doing, and therefore you are generating automatic responses. In those automatic responses, you do create a perception of black and white, either/or, good or bad, right or wrong.
But as you offer yourself the recognition of what YOU create and what you are reflecting to yourself and what beliefs are influencing your perception, you may move your attention to yourself, acknowledge yourself in the experience that you have generated, recognize the beliefs that you incorporate, acknowledge their existence also, and rather than express another judgment to yourself, recognize that you ALSO incorporate choice. This is what is meant by not being bound to your beliefs. You, in like manner to every other individual within your world, incorporate ALL of the belief systems and all of the beliefs contained in each belief system.
Now; you express merely some, but they are ALL available to you, and this is your power in choice, your freedom in choice. As I have expressed previously, literally there are countless beliefs incorporated in each belief system. In this, as I express this to you, what is meant in this is literally there are more beliefs within each belief system than you may count. Therefore, what tremendous choice you incorporate as to which belief you shall express!
JOANNE: I know I had been thinking initially that belief systems, when I was reading about them, were awful and needed to be gotten rid of. Then I sort of got to the point where wait a minute, I can try to make them work FOR me. The thing is, if I believe it strongly enough, I can make things happen.
JOANNE: Sometimes I’ve seen situations where I’ve aligned with something or believed it very strongly and liked the outcome. So I see what you’re saying about that, because it’s all based on beliefs here. If we have them all, it should...
ELIAS: It is a matter of which beliefs you choose to express, and in this, recognize that within themselves every belief is neutral. It is a matter of becoming familiar with yourself in an intimacy with yourself and therefore recognizing and knowing what your preferences are and offering yourself the freedom to express those preferences intentionally.
JOANNE: I think what has surprised me in the last year was finding beliefs I didn’t even know I had...
JOANNE: ...and then watching the belief, realizing that it played out over and over and over again. And it’s still doing it!
ELIAS: This is the significance of paying attention to automatic responses. As I have recently expressed to other individuals similarly, for the most part you are unaware objectively of most of what you do and what influences what you do within your day. You may express moments in which you are aware and paying attention to yourself in the now within a day, but generally speaking, you generate automatic pilot and you do not hold your attention upon yourself. You do not pay attention to what you are actually doing and what influences what you are doing in the now.
JOANNE: No, I know. I mean, the things that have happened that I’ve been aware of were, I’d say, few and far between but monumental.
ELIAS: Now; let me express to you, you may offer yourself the opportunity NOW, beginning NOW, to be more clearly aware of the influences of your beliefs in incorporating an exercise, in merely one day, to be paying attention to EVERY ACTION that you incorporate, regardless of how insignificant it appears.
For I may express to you quite genuinely, all of these mundane actions that you deem to be insignificant, that you incorporate repeatedly every day, are all influenced by beliefs. Those actions that you incorporate daily that you do not concern yourself with thinking in relation to them — you merely automatically express all of these mundane insignificant actions over and over — generally speaking, the beliefs that are influencing of those actions are very similar or the same as the beliefs that influence the monumental experiences.
This is why this is such a significant action, for all of those insignificant mundane actions that you incorporate each day are reinforcing those beliefs that also influence the monumental experiences. (Pause) How you brush your hair, how your present yourself, how you incorporate interaction with your children, how you dress yourself, how you bathe yourself, what hour you choose to incorporate meals, what rituals you incorporate before retiring at night — all of these actions that you do not incorporate thinking with, or your attention is not thinking concerning them, all of these actions are influenced by beliefs.
JOANNE: This might sound kind of funny, but as you were saying all of those different things — how you dress yourself, how you bathe yourself, your hair — I was thinking very clearly about what I do when I do those things, and they’re very negative. I was wondering, is there a specific belief that I’m working on right now? They all seem to have a common thread, and right now it all seems to be about self-worth.
ELIAS: I am understanding. It is not necessarily a specific belief. It is moving your attention to be recognizing all of the actions that incorporate influences of beliefs that you do not value yourself in relation to, or that you project your attention outwardly to be attempting to value yourself through the expression of other individuals, which is disappointing.
JOANNE: Well, there are some times it just feels like if someone would come up to me and I could win the prize for the best person in the whole world I might feel better about myself. (Laughs) So I know I’m looking for it outside. But I also know the scenarios, the situations that I set up, starting at breakfast and everybody complaining that what I made was no good and the hurt I feel at that.
ELIAS: Now; let us examine this one action. You generate this automatic action incorporating this doing of creating your breakfast.
Now; in that action, what motivates the action itself? Are you incorporating an awareness of what YOU want? Are you offering yourself a freedom and permission to express yourself to generate the action that YOU want to be generating? Or are you expressing automatic pilot in obligation: your role is the wife and the mother — it is your job to be generating breakfast for your family.
JOANNE: Yeah, that’s the one.
ELIAS: And what do YOU want? This is the question. For you are not paying attention to what YOU are expressing within yourself, and in yourself you are generating an energy of dissatisfaction. Therefore, you present a reflection of that dissatisfaction that you are projecting.
JOANNE: I can see that now, because I already know I feel like I have to do it. It’s my job; it’s my responsibility. I have to feed these people.
ELIAS: Ah! For they are incapable of creating their own realities! They are quite incapable of sustaining themselves in physical reality.
JOANNE: Well, no, it’s ... I guess that might be at the bottom of it, but mostly I just do it because I don’t want to hear them complain.
ELIAS: But they are complaining, regardless.
JOANNE: Right, they’ll complain if I don’t, but I realize I’m probably creating their complaining because I believe I should do this, right?
ELIAS: And you are dissatisfied with your lack of choices.
JOANNE: Yes. It falls into a Catch-22.
ELIAS: Not actually! For as you offer yourself more of your own freedom and you generate a trust and acceptance of yourself in allowing yourself to create what YOU want and to LISTEN to yourself, you alter your perception. You also project a different expression of energy, and therefore you reflect different expressions. (Pause) It moves in both directions, my friend.
JOANNE: I guess I’m just stuck in the “I can’t.”
ELIAS: But you can.
JOANNE: I’m still stuck in that “I can’t.”
ELIAS: I am aware, but you can. I may express to you, literally, as powerfully as you generate this direction of creating this type of reflection, you may also equally as powerfully generate another direction in which your reflection is not conflicting and not what you deem to be negative or discounting. (Pause)
JOANNE: That’s a lot.
ELIAS: Recall your son. Did you not offer an account to myself of your son and his choices in relation to a game that he chose not to be incorporating? Your fear was that your partner would not be in agreement with the choice of your son, correct?
ELIAS: But you encouraged your son to trust himself and to express himself in what HE wanted, and he did. And your partner did not respond in the manner in which you expected. I am aware that you incorporate an expression of belief that small ones may create their reality, but they also require helpfulness in creating their reality for they are small — which is quite incorrect. But it matters not, this is an active belief that you incorporate.
Now; look to this small one and that he does express the ability to efficiently create his reality in what he wants in offering himself his freedom. This DOES alter his physical reality and the expressions of other individuals around him. You have offered yourself the experience of this evidence. YOU incorporate no less ability to be altering your reality.
JOANNE: I’ve done similar things and seen how, based on my attitude and what I was thinking or the choice, I guess, I was making and the energy behind it...
JOANNE: ...and I’ve seen things change. I guess lately I’ve just kind of gotten really down about the whole thing, because on the one hand I do it at times and then I don’t do it. I see myself doing the same things over and over again and creating the same situations, and I just sort of get bogged down in why do I keep doing this, and kind of lose the will to live because I don’t...
ELIAS: Have you offered to yourself an incorporation of my discussion recently in group interaction, which has been offered in transcription?
JOANNE: That was the Fresno session?(2)
JOANNE: In asking what instead of why?
MARJ: Isn’t it funny, Elias — or at least I think it is and I know Joanne does, too — that you wonder what it is you’re missing and why you’re creating what you’re creating. In the next moment, you create exactly what you want so effortlessly, and you say, “Oh, it was so easy!” And then you lose it again. I mean, sometimes I really wonder if we’re kind of dumb!
ELIAS: Ah, I may express to you, no, you are not. But you are quite accustomed to movement in a specific manner. You are unaccustomed to paying attention to yourselves. You are unaccustomed to the action of being intimately familiar with yourselves and paying attention continuously in the now.
JOANNE: When we had the Pennsylvania session and I got to meet Vicki, it was really great. We all sat down to have dinner together and everybody was laughing and having a good time. I said to Vicki and Mary and Lynda, “The triangle is complete,” and laughed. Everybody was like, what does that mean? And I had no idea — it just popped into my head and came out my mouth. (Elias chuckles) I’ve kind of wondered off and on the last year what that meant. I was wondering if you could tell me what that meant.
ELIAS: What you allowed yourself to tap into is an expression of energy and a movement that was occurring. It was a beginning movement. In this, it was a movement of choices in association with these three individuals to continue to be what you term to be expressing a connection and a supportiveness but in different choices and in different manners. The expression between Michael and Lawrence within this physical focus was extremely strong. The expression of energy between these two continues to be extremely strong, but now in a subjective manner.
Michael expresses a tremendous energy in association with his orientation [of soft] in interaction. In the choice to participate in this phenomenon in the manner in which he does, as a focal point, almost — although not quite literally but figuratively speaking — almost requires an expression of supportiveness that he may be interactive with continuously. This is what was generated between Michael and Lawrence. But Lawrence chose to be moving in a different direction and not continuing in an objective expression, continuing to incorporate supportiveness but in a different manner.
Ruther was drawn, and has drawn himself, into a position of incorporating the objective supportiveness, not in replacement of Lawrence but with respect to the different choices that each of these individuals are generating and were choosing to be generating.
Michael has moved in different directions also, incorporating a greater openness to this energy exchange and the interaction of it, but has also incorporated challenges in these changes. Ruther incorporates a capacity to be supportive and interactive in a continuous manner.
Let me express to you, the recognition that although many individuals may be interactive with each other in many time frameworks and extended time frameworks, there may be expressed challenges in generating a continuous constant interaction with an individual which you do not incorporate specific types of relationships with. Lawrence and Michael incorporated an objective awareness of this throughout their objective relationship and presented to themselves challenges in association with their relationship, for it did not fit mass beliefs — which I incorporated discussion with Lawrence concerning this subject matter in one time framework.
Similarly, Ruther now incorporates a type of relationship with Michael which also does not quite fit in association with mass beliefs but is expressed objectively in relation to other individuals slightly more easily, for Ruther and Michael have created a type of label or position to be defining their relationship in association with this forum. Therefore, they generate less of a challenge and less of an incorporation of conflict in association with other individuals with regard to the type of relationship that they incorporate.
In this, in a manner of speaking you are correct; it is a type of triangle relationship, for there is the objective expression which is incorporated with two, and there is the subjective that is incorporated with two, Michael being the center point, therefore generating a balance of supportiveness in this role that he has chosen.
JOANNE: For some reason, that triangle thing just stuck with me and I wondered what it meant. I just knew that whatever it was, it was complete. It was like it was somehow completed or...
JOANNE: ...in that time framework the choices were made, because everybody was together...
JOANNE: ...at that particular time. I don’t know! But I always wondered what that meant. (Elias chuckles)
The other things — there’s not much time left — I’ve had a lot of dreams about water. You know, I find myself going to various islands or back to islands that I went to on vacation. A lot of them are about swim team practice and swimming pools, and just a lot of water imagery.
ELIAS: It is not the water imagery that is significant within these dream expressions.
Now; attempt to recognize the commonality of these dreams other than the water. (Pause) You are offering to yourself dream imagery in an expression of comfort.
JOANNE: So when I’m dreaming about the water, it’s to comfort myself?
JOANNE: It is very familiar and it is comfortable.
JOANNE: I don’t know, the desire for it.
ELIAS: It is an expression in imagery offering you information to allow yourself to relax and to generate that comfort.
JOANNE: The other imagery has to do with fires and explosions. In fact, I had one dream where you were actually driving the car but you looked like Mary. (Both laugh) I was telling you all my newly found discoveries on the mirror, and you said, “Okay, not right now.” My attention turned to this plug and there was fire behind it. Everybody jumped out of the car and ran and then the car blew up. There’ve been other dreams of buildings exploding and fire, and sometimes I smell smoke like something’s burning.
ELIAS: This is associated with all that we have been discussing this day, your dissatisfaction within yourself and your devaluing of yourself, even to the point of creating imagery that I would be devaluing of you.
Your explosions are imagery that you present to yourself in association with your desire to be altering these expressions and, figuratively speaking, exploding outside of the box of this confinement that you have created, allowing yourself the creation of your own freedom.
JOANNE: That last dream I was telling you about, we were on our way to an Ozzy Osbourne concert. He’s a famous entertainer, singer. I’ve had a lot of imagery about him lately. Do I have a connection with Ozzy Osbourne? (Laughing) It’s kind of weird, but...
ELIAS: In physical terms, no; but in imagery, yes, for you have chosen to present yourself with this individual as what you may term to be a means of imagery to yourself.
Now; how do you assess this individual — as expressing some lunacy, do you not?
JOANNE: Oh, yeah! (Elias laughs) I really never paid much attention to him other than to think he was weird.
ELIAS: And displaying extreme behaviors.
Now; this is your reflection to yourself in imagery that you present to yourself that you wish to be not generating.
JOANNE: Right, I don’t want to be an Ozzy Osbourne.
ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, you do not wish to be engaging interactions with your partner or other individuals that express extreme.
JOANNE: Right. (Pause)
Real quick, I have one more. The situation that I keep creating with my partner, am I gonna keep creating this?
ELIAS: This is your choice. I may express to you, you are creating a potential to not continue creating these types of expressions, for you are creating more of an awareness of yourself, and in that awareness of yourself, you are offering yourself more of an empowerment and offering yourself the opportunity to engage different choices. (Pause)
JOANNE: I’m going to have to call you back and talk to you about this again! (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Very well! I am always available. Ha ha ha!
JOANNE: That hour went too quick!
ELIAS: (Laughs) I shall be QUITE willing to be incorporating further discussion with you!
JOANNE: That would be great. If I’m lucid dreaming — I do it every now and then — I always ask where you’re at. I’ll become aware of dreaming and the first person I see in the dream, I’ll say, “Is Elias here?” (Laughs) And they always say, “He’s around here somewhere.” I can never find you to talk to you!
ELIAS: (Chuckles) This is merely an allowance, my friend.
Now; be remembering of your explosion dream in which you incorporated the imagery of myself, and recognize that in actuality you presented the imagery of myself discounting of you. You are comfortable with the idea that I am present and am near, but also you hesitate in the openness to actually be interactive for fear that it may not be acceptable.
Acknowledge yourself, relax and allow. For you are correct, I AM continuously present. (Chuckles)
MARJ: So you’re always around here somewhere, right?
JOANNE: That’s pretty cool. Next time they say, “He’s around here somewhere,” I’m going to try to pin ‘em down as to where exactly you are! (Joanne and Elias laugh) Maybe that’ll work!
Well, as always thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend.
JOANNE: You’ve given me a lot to think about.
ELIAS: I shall continue to express encouraging and acknowledging energy to you.
JOANNE: Thank you.
ELIAS: In supportiveness and tremendous affection to you both and anticipation of our next meeting, au revoir.
MARJ: Thank you Elias. Au revoir.
Elias departs at 3:45 PM.
(1) This was in , 3/10/01.
(2) , 10/26/02.
(3) Transcribers note: I believe this discussion between Vicki and Elias occurred in , 8/14/97.
©2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.