Saturday, December 21, 2002 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Letty (Castille)

Elias arrives at 2:29 PM. (Arrival time is 19 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

LETTY: Good morning, dear friend!

ELIAS: (Laughs) And what have you to report?

LETTY: Well, I’m very excited about my report on my homework! (Elias laughs) I have to admit I could not do a whole day one hundred percent, because I recognized the automatic of just doing things without noticing. But I did recognize that I do notice more in my doing. My biggest discovery, which didn’t surprise me, was that tint over my eyes, kind of like using glasses, that everything has duplicity.

ELIAS: Ah!

LETTY: Within that, there were so many things that I recognized as belief systems. Before, I used to interpret them as neutral — as simple as the way I file at work, the way I want to be neat and organized. That comes so natural and automatic to me that it’s like whatever, but even that had belief systems.

The neat thing about that is that as I’m paying attention to just noticing, and recognize the organization, the knowing, the yes, the no, I was able to relax myself into understanding, at least many times, and I recognized the acceptance in me, that it was the belief system and that it was okay, and that there was really no better or worse or that my way is better than somebody else’s. Then of course I had those instances where I had to fix things when people do things (Elias laughs), but it’s really a different way to look at life.

ELIAS: Quite! And in this exercise, what have you noticed overall, so to speak, as the most commonly expressed belief that you generate in association with automatic responses?

LETTY: Well, that I have choices. Even though I ended up doing or acting or expressing a certain way in the recognition, part of my acceptance was oh, but I have a choice — I don’t have to do it that way, and it just is okay.

ELIAS: And therefore you recognize more of your freedom. For it matters not what you choose; what is significant is that you know that you incorporate choice.

LETTY: There were a few times that I recognized I actually now have an automatic response to my frustrations: “Oh, I’m again limiting myself, and I do have choice.”

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: I played with that with the elevator, and I wanted to see if you can validate. I work on the 28th floor and sometimes I get frustrated because there’s one company between 27 and 28, and another company between 25 and 26, and many times during the day they have to use the elevator. My fun, or what I always wanted to create, was to take the express elevator straight down or going back up without any stops. Sometimes I actually play, where I say, “Let’s stop!” and it did! (Elias laughs)

So if I could do that in the rest of my life, I’d be — well, I know I’m perfect already! — but I’d be more relaxed. (Elias laughs) This exercise has taught me a lot of how to relax that tension, Elias.

ELIAS: Very well! In this, you have offered yourself much information, have you not?

LETTY: Yes. It was difficult sometimes staying in the now. There are certain things where I still project to the future with anticipation and expectation, but at least now I think I do that less than I used to, so it’s a much more relaxed state.

ELIAS: Correct. (Chuckles)

LETTY: It’s helping me, but I didn’t want to lose focus of what I was doing in the now, in the paying attention. I did pay attention to the doing, but now, for my next step, I still need another exercise on how to connect... My biggest communication problem, I think — besides the thinking too much — is the reading, understanding the communication of my emotions. Many times I even tell Cindel, I sit and talk to my solar plexus and say, “Talk to me! Tell me what I’m feeling.” Sometimes I don’t feel anything, but I know there’s something. I don’t know if it’s my overzealousness to interpret and I try too hard.

ELIAS: Ah. You are correct in this.

Also recognize that emotional communications are one avenue of communication but not the only avenue of communication. Therefore, at times you may not be offering yourself a communication through emotion. You may be offering yourself communication through your outer or inner senses. You may be offering yourself a communication through body consciousness. You may be offering yourself a communication through imagination or impressions or impulses. There are many different avenues of communication that you incorporate within your focus. Therefore, any one particular avenue may not necessarily be continuously communicating.

LETTY: I think I was putting too much importance into the emotional, like being the most important or the biggest or whatever. I think I discount myself with imagination, part of it.

ELIAS: Yes. In this, imagination is an inspirational type of communication.

There are different types of communications that you offer to yourself, and it is merely an action of moving your attention and allowing your attention a flexibility that it may easily move from one avenue of communication to another and recognize each of them as they are occurring.

Now; I shall express to you that emotional communications are significant, and they do occur more often than most individuals are objectively aware of, for they are not paying attention. You also generate more emotional communications than you pay attention to, but this is not to say that they are occurring continuously. At times you may not be generating a communication through emotion, and therefore you feel neutral.

LETTY: Maybe I can pay attention to that, when I am neutral because that’s when I feel relaxed, but I think I can read something into it.

ELIAS: Yes.

Now; in this, as you have stated, at times you are trying too hard, in your terms, and you are attempting to discover or feel an emotional signal or create an emotional signal that might not necessarily be occurring in that particular moment. What is significant is the flexibility of your attention and allowing yourself to pay attention when you ARE generating an emotional communication and signal.

LETTY: I definitely go into the body consciousness.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: I do that well.

ELIAS: Yes. You do incorporate many communications to yourself through body consciousness.

LETTY: That could be as subtle as a twitch.

ELIAS: Yes.

Now; recognize that emotional communications may also be subtle in a very similar manner. You may not necessarily feel the signal very strongly, but this is not to say that it may not be present.

LETTY: Let me give you an example. I just received flowers from Leezar. Of course, I looked at them and didn’t know they were from him at first, and yet I kind of knew when they were driving up to my door. I didn’t pay attention to the emotional communication, but I remember right now the feeling of almost like satisfaction.

ELIAS: Very well.

LETTY: And it felt good. The first thing then I recognized was that I created them. I wanted to talk to you about this, because there were a few times during the last week where that whirlwind of thinking that you told me I get into, sometimes I find myself in a hurricane! (Elias laughs) I go, “Whoa! Slow down!”

ELIAS: (Laughs) Ah, but you are noticing!

LETTY: Yes, I am. It’s really neat, because I don’t go into my breathing difficulty or even anymore with my joints. My knees are great again! I wanted to ask you about that in particular, because I think I’m easing into this way of thinking and looking at things at the job and paying attention and having a trust in myself. I acknowledge myself and have done tremendous!

ELIAS: Ah! Very well!

LETTY: I’ve incorporated myself back into the old part of the company that we had been separated from, and I’ve just felt really good. I’ve had a few tense moments where I discount myself because of the nervousness, but I catch myself now. So it’s kind of neat.

But when it comes to Leezar, still, or relationships, I have that whirlwind of thought of wanting to have a partner. I think sometimes I confuse myself, because I want one like this, no, I want one like this, and it’s kind of like well, Letty, what do you really want?

ELIAS: Ah ha!

LETTY: Then I go into Leezar, because of again the comfortable, the familiar with him. I really understand our sessions of not quite a year ago, the fact that I did have those wonderful experiences with him that I’m tracking back. I recognize them and I have given myself credit for those. Yet there’s still something that I want to be able to continue with him. I’m paying attention to my belief systems that whenever I break up with anybody in the past, I never see them again and I don’t want to have anything to do with them. I’m trying to break from that mold because I want to see that I was limiting myself.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

LETTY: But then I wanted for you to help me. Like right now, without any — well, I have some anticipation — but I really do want to understand right now what my essence is actually feeling that sometimes I don’t quite understand.

I see him, and then one day I want to go back to I don’t want to hear from him again because it’s over and it’s easier for me to forget about him and all his family, but then I switch it over, thinking there’s no absolutes, and I go into wow, can I be a friend with him? I’ve never learned how to be friends with ex-boyfriends. Then I go to the other extreme of what would it be to go back with him and become a partner with him again? So those I recognize are thoughts in that hurricane.

ELIAS: I am understanding, but now express to myself what you are incorporating as communications that are being translated into these thoughts.

LETTY: The fact that I got home and I had a wonderful message from him, and I had those butterflies in my stomach, kind of like when we recognize in our society that you’re starting to fall in love or you have a little crush on somebody. It was a really neat feeling. That communication also was like yeah, well, if I’m creating again a communication from him, it’s one that I’m creating. Therefore, what would it be like if something more happened again?

So that’s where I get stumped. The feeling was really pleasant. This was the first time, because I’ve had communications over the last year and a half after our break-up that were emotional but discounting.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: It didn’t feel good, or I didn’t like them.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: Right now I’m feeling more relaxed with myself and understanding that the feeling that I felt this week was like “God, how neat!” Then I go into the fear, and I go into putting attention onto him that he’s not going to want to come and visit me, he’s not going to want to call me, instead of saying what is it that I want?”

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: And then I go, “God, I don’t know!” (Laughs)

ELIAS: Ah, but you are offering yourself communications in relation to what you want. Listen to what you have expressed to myself. Pay attention to what you are doing and what you are communicating to yourself. You offer yourself an emotional communication in validation of yourself, and this is the reason that you generate that feeling of fluttering within your solar plexus. This is the signal. The communication is one of validation of yourself, and you ARE paying more attention to you.

Now; recognize, the moments in which the fear is expressed is when you move your attention from yourself and begin projecting your attention to Leezar and generating expectations in association with past experiences, and therefore also projecting your attention futurely in anticipation of those past experiences being manifest futurely.

In this, you are discounting yourself, for you are generating a perception in absolutes that as you have created one expression previously, you shall likely create that type of experience again for it is cast in absolute. But each moment is an opportunity for different choices.

Now; you have offered yourself a considerable amount of information in this recent time framework concerning yourself, concerning automatic responses, concerning your beliefs, and in paying attention to yourself, paying attention in the now, and also in validation of yourself. In this, as you continue to be paying attention to yourself, you generate evidence in relation to what you want.

Now; let me also express to you, my friend, absolutes may also be expressed in automatic responses, automatic associations that you do not even notice. In this, you have offered yourself evidence of creating expressions that you want. You have generated a pleasurable interaction with Leezar; you have presented to yourself a gift in association with Leezar. But you snare yourself in the association of absolutes with regard to relationships, that they should be expressed in one manner or another: in this type of a relationship, a romantic relationship, it must be expressed in a certain manner. This is an absolute association also.

There are many, many expressions of relationships which are satisfying and in your terms fulfilling, and they may not necessarily all be expressed in one particular direction which appears to you to be the traditional expression. What is significant is that you offer yourself the freedom to create what you want.

Now; what you are expressing in this now is complicating what you want. You are already creating what you want. You want to be interactive with this individual in a pleasurable manner and you are, but you complicate this in thinking that you do not possess what you want. This is the significance of paying attention in the now.

In this now, you are generating many expressions which are what you want: in relation to your employment, in relation to your friendships, in relation to Leezar, in relation to YOURSELF.

LETTY: Wow! And here I am, worrying about it!

ELIAS: This is the element of confusing yourself in complicating the subject matter and projecting your attention futurely or pastly — projecting your attention outside of the now — which also creates fertile ground for discounting of yourself. But in paying attention to what you are actually generating now, what you are actually doing now, you may be acknowledging of yourself and recognizing that you are generating what you want.

You and many other individuals express outwardly, as you have in this conversation, and to yourselves, “I do not know what I want,” for you are associating that statement with a future action and you are not moving your attention to now.

What do you want now, in this day? Are you generating that? Yes! And if you are not, and you are paying attention to what you are actually doing and what you are communicating to yourself and what you are translating, you also incorporate choice to create what you want.

LETTY: It’s so much easier to understand this information you’re giving me with the exercise I just finished.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: It’s not an exercise that I really finish. It’s something that is kind of an on-going homework.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

LETTY: In practicing this more, it’s opening me definitely to paying attention in the now, except for those moments that my mind wanders off. Then I go to the next step of “What am I doing now?” in those moments, so I have to come back.

ELIAS: I am understanding, which is quite beneficial. This is the key, my friend, for this is your point of power and acknowledgment.

LETTY: I know you’ve mentioned it before, but it’s like once I start assimilating it and experiencing it...

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: ...I understand it differently.

ELIAS: Correct.

Now; also in this, allow for the understanding of change. For as you pay attention more fully in the now and to yourself, you incorporate different choices at times, which alters directions and incorporates changes in perception.

Therefore, you may be generating interaction with another individual, such as Leezar, and as you are offering yourself your freedom and you are acknowledging of yourself and of your creations, your perception changes and therefore you may incorporate different choices and different types of actions — which in actuality may be quite a wonderment!

LETTY: Wow! We are so incredible, Elias!

ELIAS: (Laughs) Ah, yes, you are!

LETTY: In that incredibleness, I want a validation of my acknowledgment. My body consciousness imagery of my two nails that continue to be separated, I see they’re starting to heal. I recognized that the separation that I had been focusing on was of us as consciousness being together, of the way the world is within me, and that was why, I think, I have two left instead of six. I had forgotten a very important element, and that was the fact that I was practicing separation within myself, of my essence, of my other focuses.

I think has helped too with this issue with Leezar is I relaxed my energy with him because it’s okay if I’m not creating him in my life objectively currently. I know I’m out there with him in other focuses, with different relationships and with other people.

One of the biggest belief systems that I encounter that I took as normal, as not being a belief system, is the fact that we say life is so short and we just have to do all this. Here I am at so many years old, I’ve never been married and I don’t have kids, or I haven’t done this or I haven’t traveled. Which is not my case, but sometimes I find myself saying I should be doing these other things too, because life is short!

Yet when I started connecting with my other focuses — not individually, because I still don’t do that very well and because I know it’s not that important to me — I did connect to the point that that gave me a sense of better worth of myself, that it’s okay, I don’t have to do everything in this focus because I am experiencing it.

ELIAS: Correct! And this is significant, for this offers you more of a realistic view of yourself in a greater vastness and an understanding of yourself in more expansiveness than merely one attention.

LETTY: And trying to do so much, that you’re doing it because you feel you have to versus because it’s what you want to create.

ELIAS: Correct. These are mass beliefs also, associated with what you should be generating within your focus or what you term to be throughout your lifetime, certain expressions that are expected and you expect them of yourself.

LETTY: I have objectively looked at this realization, and I just realized that one of my questions was going to be about that I can’t get rid of this congestion. I interpret congestion as that feeling of not creating better, or what I would consider better. So actually I just answered my own question, huh?

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Quite! (Laughs)

LETTY: In last night’s dream, I can’t remember too much other than there was a wedding going on and I was participating and there was a lot of family. I went to the room, but it was not the room I expected for the prize, and then other people needed to come and change. It triggered when you were talking about the change and the choices that we have. That was my message to me, wasn’t it?

ELIAS: Yes, concerning change and choices, and how you alter actual realities and offer to yourself much more freedom in the allowance for change and not expressing the limitation of expectations in association with absolutes.

LETTY: So true. Gee, Elias, it’s been fun!

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Appreciate what you are offering to yourself and what you are creating. Allow yourself to acknowledge yourself now, that you are creating what you want and that you are creating your expressions of your preferences.

In this, what you want is not as black and white as you are accustomed to associating with. You want to be engaging a relationship but you also want to be expressing your individual freedom within yourself. And you are! Therefore, it is not a question of seeking out and acquiring, but recognizing what you are already creating — what you already have.

LETTY: Thank you so much, Elias.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

LETTY: We have a couple of minutes. Marta’s coming this evening, and he has been quite ill. I think he understands his imagery and he didn’t ask, so I don’t know if I’m intruding or not but I just wondered if you had a message for him.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) To pay attention to himself and discontinue projecting his attention outwardly in every possible direction! Perhaps alter his quest to be discovering another individual and incorporating the quest to be discovering himself.

You may also express to him, he may seek and seek and seek and seek another individual, but he shall draw another individual to himself once he has engaged himself and is projecting a different type of energy. He is not drawing to himself what he wants or what he thinks he wants for he is not projecting that type of energy. Therefore, perhaps he may question what he actually wants.

LETTY: It’ll give him a little bit to think about! (Elias laughs) My love to you this day, Elias!

ELIAS: And to you also, my friend, in the genuine expression of it. I express to you my acknowledgment and my fondness. Au revoir, my friend.

LETTY: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 3:13 PM.

Refer to 12/9/02, for Letty’s homework: “Exercise: What Are You Actually Physically Doing in Each Moment?”

©2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.