Dealing with Conflict
“Dealing with Conflict”
“Remanifesting a Creature”
Thursday, December 19, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Seale (Seale)
Elias arrives at 12:36 PM. (Arrival time is 20 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
SEALE: Good morning! (Elias chuckles) I am so glad to talk with you, as always. As you know, I’ve been kind of bouncing around, huh?
ELIAS: (Chuckles) And what are you noticing?
SEALE: That I really am bouncing, but at least I’m catching myself.
ELIAS: And what information have you been offering yourself?
SEALE: Well, that’s what I have been trying to understand, because of conflicts. I think things are working good in terms of my creating what I want even in trauma, being able to talk respectfully and work through things. But then on the other hand there’s the other side, when I’m trying to be the straight little sapling, and then lots of reactions that are getting like that victim mode where people are thinking, acting, like I’m controlling their reality.
ELIAS: And what is your response?
SEALE: First, being mad and hurt that they are treating me like that, and then trying to be accepting of them in that, and that I’m not.
ELIAS: And what do you assess within yourself produces this communication of hurtfulness?
SEALE: Oh, do we have to go there right off the bat? (Laughs)
ELIAS: (Laughs loudly) Very well! You may proceed in whatever direction you choose!
SEALE: I don’t know! I must still be protecting that part, you know what I mean? That was my first thought when you said that. It was “Oh, no! Right away?” (Elias laughs) But I know you know that. I want to understand this because, god, I hate it! I just hate it!
ELIAS: (Chuckles) What do you...
SEALE: I’m scared of other people’s reactions, yes?
SEALE: But I am being more of myself, because you know what, when that lady was so nasty and put all those labels on the other restaurant, I really did feel sorry for her about how much anger she had toward me. In that moment, I really felt the sadness or the sorrow for her hurt, not for me. You know what I mean?
ELIAS: I am understanding.
SEALE: That was really more like me, getting past that hurt part and being able to be who I really want to be or... I don’t know.
SEALE: Like accepting her, that that’s where she was at, and not taking on all that ucky stuff.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
SEALE: Is that in fact right, that I am getting more...? When I went back in after they didn’t even tell me and all that, it was such a ... ooo. I mean, to me it felt so violent and so awful. But I did go back in, because I didn’t want to be running and I did want to support Ed.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
SEALE: At that point, I got past the fear and the violence and the hurt of all those people not even being willing to tell somebody, when none of them would have wanted that to happen to them. That was like overwhelming to experience that reality!
ELIAS: I am understanding, but you also offered yourself an opportunity to not be responsive in an automatic movement and offered yourself the opportunity to choose different expressions yourself, correct?
SEALE: Right, and that’s why I felt good about myself when I left. No matter what they thought or said or whatever, they couldn’t take away how I felt about that within myself.
SEALE: Even with their nastiness, I was still intact.
ELIAS: Correct, and therefore need not be expressing a protection, which is the automatic response.
SEALE: What I felt is that I was creating what I wanted to create in terms of being peaceful or being caring and respectful even in the face of trauma or conflict or whatever. You don’t have to get what I call downright ugly and nasty and whatever in order to... You know, kind of like power and control versus kindliness and respectfulness and maybe just acceptance.
SEALE: Well, I’m getting there. (Elias laughs) Really, this month I haven’t felt a lot like it, because Ed and I have been having so many struggles. (Sighs) It’s still really hard. I’ll be glad when there’s more of an ease! Is there more of an ease than when we last talked, because that’s why Ed and Sheila, I got those talks from them about the less judgment and stuff like that?
ELIAS: Yes, although you may be recognizing that generating more of an ease is created now, in the moment, not waiting for this to materialize in some future experiences or time frameworks. You generate the choice in each moment of how you shall direct your perception and what action you shall be incorporating.
Your example of your interaction with these other individuals is one that you may incorporate as an example to yourself, that even if you are generating an expression of conflict — for if it is occurring within your reality, my friend, you are creating it — but even if you are creating that type of an expression, you continue to incorporate choice in how you shall express in that type of scenario.
SEALE: I understand that part, I think.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, all of the smaller conflicts, in your terms, that you engage with this other individual...
SEALE: You’re talking about Ed?
ELIAS: Yes. If you are genuinely paying attention to you and to your responses and becoming familiar with your triggers, you may be recognizing that you do incorporate choice, and that if you are experiencing conflict or uncomfortableness and you wish to alter that, you do incorporate the ability to move your attention in different manners and therefore generate different expressions, which shall alter your perception and therefore alter the actual interaction that is occurring. For as we have discussed many times, the other individual is projecting energy to you, but you are configuring that energy and creating the actual physical scenario.
Now; understand that the other individual may be projecting an energy expression to you with the intention of generating conflict. But it remains your choice how you shall receive that energy and how you shall be responsive to it. As you recognize that there are no accidents, you may also recognize that if these types of scenarios are being generated, you are drawing that to yourself purposefully.
This is the point of power, in knowing yourself and knowing what you are actually doing, rather than viewing the other individual and concerning yourself with their expressions and whether their expressions or behaviors are good or bad or acceptable or unacceptable.
SEALE: So the thing with Marilyn, can we discuss that a little bit more so, then maybe I can understand that? Was I drawing that to me so that I could have an opportunity to do something not automatic?
SEALE: How do I tell myself that’s enough of that? I don’t need any more practice!
ELIAS: (Laughs) By becoming more familiar with yourself and your automatic responses, and recognizing your choices.
Now; the manner in which you generate that is to be paying attention to all of your actions, not merely these encounters that you deem to be extreme or large, but all of the other actions that you incorporate continuously in each of your days that you view as insignificant or small, for all of those are being generated by the influence of your beliefs also. Generally speaking, those actions that you do not pay attention to and you engage each day are influenced by the same beliefs that influence responses in what you think of as significant interactions. Therefore, those beliefs are being reinforced continuously, but you merely notice in a moment in which you generate an extreme uncomfortable situation.
SEALE: Okay, I’ll try to pay more attention each moment. But I have been doing that more than our last conversation, have I not?
SEALE: It’s been pretty chaotic! (Elias laughs)
Now I want to ask you a couple questions about the Russian family. Bridgy wanted to know if the Anastasia focus is of the Demre or of the Thelma essence. (Pause)
SEALE: Cool! She’ll like that. Then the mother, I mean the wife of Czar Nicholas, is that Lynder? (Pause)
ELIAS: Observing essence.
SEALE: Oh, cool! I got it!
I think Maria, that we don’t have labeled as to who, but she looks like my neighbor. I mean, I looked at the picture and the picture of her face looked like Pauline, my neighbor in Wyoming. But I do believe that she’s also somebody who is in the E-list. So is Pauline a focus of that Maria, too? And who in the E-list is that? (Pause)
ELIAS: You are correct in your impression concerning your friend.
SEALE: So she is a focus.
SEALE: Cool! But someone in the E-list is also a focus of this Maria?
ELIAS: And shall you not be investigating?
SEALE: (Laughs) Oh, no! They probably told me and I didn’t write that down! I don’t remember what they said, so now I’m not gonna know that answer! (Elias laughs) Well, can I have a guess?
ELIAS: If you are so choosing!
SEALE: How about Fran?
ELIAS: No. (Both laugh)
SEALE: Then I’m not choosing well! Well, all right.
How about another thing — yesterday when we were driving ... remember about that accident? I haven’t seen any yellow dump trucks. Well, yesterday I saw three yellow dump trucks. So are we talking about the company of Trico, T-R-I-C-O, one of their dump trucks?
ELIAS: And first, offer to myself your impression.
SEALE: That it is, because I saw three of them. You know me, I get scared when it’s stuff like that, you know what I mean? To me, I was thinking maybe I was reinforcing to myself the answer so I couldn’t miss it, because my first thing is to discount my impression.
ELIAS: You are correct.
SEALE: Oh, wow! Well, see? My guessing isn’t so hot, but my real feelings come out!
ELIAS: This is the point, my friend, is to be listening to your impressions.
SEALE: I’m trying, even when it’s scary, right?
ELIAS: I am understanding. (Laughs)
SEALE: Even with you, even to try to say this and say, “Ooo, it might be wrong,” is like that protection or that closing-up thing?
ELIAS: I am aware.
SEALE: All right, let’s see, then what? Oh, oh, Margaret! Margaret and I, I believe we have been Native Americans, where she has been a big sister to me. (Pause)
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
SEALE: Could you give us a timeframe?
SEALE: I was talking to her about my interaction with Ed about African-Americans, so she thinks we have an African-American focus also. I believe that’s true, too.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
SEALE: Are we sisters in that, too?
SEALE: Oh, this is so cool! See, I still have a hard time! I mean, I knew, I listened to that; I felt that right away. But I would look at what I’m doing with her or I look at what I’m doing, but I still haven’t been able to access any other way. I don’t get memories and stuff. How do I open that? What is still scaring me about that? Still the reality, like when my dad died?
ELIAS: This also is an expression of trust of yourself. It is not necessarily that you are generating a tremendous expression of fear but that you do not trust your ability.
SEALE: How do I do that? I mean, I should be trusting now. Look at all those things I validated! Gosh, how much more is it gonna take?
ELIAS: Listen to yourself, my friend. Even within your conversations with myself as you present questions to myself concerning your impressions, you are hesitant.
SEALE: Oh, absolutely! That’s what I mean!
ELIAS: For you are not trusting your impressions. You may allow yourself to merely incorporate time frameworks in which you relax and merely allow your attention to drift, and do not discount what images or impressions you present to yourself.
SEALE: I know I’m getting to that point. I think I already told Margaret I’m going to do that, because I’m missing not being able to ... I mean, I really enjoy it when I can do that. It’s like a game to me or fun to me, and I haven’t felt like I’ve been having a lot of fun. Contrary to what you say that we should be having fun no matter what we’re doing, it doesn’t feel like fun to me. When I have a lot of conflict, to me that doesn’t feel like fun.
ELIAS: Very well, generate fun!
SEALE: Right, that’s what I’m trying to do, so (sighs) this will be my definition of fun.
Now for my Emmers, my little Emmers. I guess maybe you’re going to tell me the same thing. But I have been seeing more Dalmatians lately! Is that just me mirroring to myself how much more I want her, or is that me mirroring that she’s getting closer to my creating her, or both?
ELIAS: Now; notice what you have expressed to me. Notice the manner in which you express that question. What do you hear?
SEALE: Lack of trust!
ELIAS: Partially, but also what do you hear in the manner in which you presented that question?
SEALE: Doubt that I can do it.
ELIAS: Not merely doubt that you CAN, but also not expressing that YOU shall be creating it. What you presented to myself was, “Is SHE getting closer to my creating?”
SEALE: Oh, yes, still not taking full responsibility that I’m creating her.
ELIAS: Correct. In this, what do you continue to express in this subject? What is the expectation that you continue to express?
SEALE: That I want her how she was. Is that what you mean?
ELIAS: And what is “how this creature was”?
SEALE: A Dalmatian.
ELIAS: Now; this is significant, my friend, for what you are incorporating in this want is an expression of energy. But you are also limiting yourself in generating specific expectations that must be expressed in precise manners or it is unacceptable. In this, you limit your freedom, you limit your abilities, you limit your interaction with different configurations of consciousness, and you limit your choices in the configuration of links of consciousness.
SEALE: How do you do this, like preference? Like what if I want her to come back as a fox or an eagle? Because I have that, too.
ELIAS: I am aware, and this also is an expression of your difficulty, so to speak, in creating what you want, for you move in two different expressions. One is extremely limiting and the other is confused and general. (Seale laughs)
Now; I may express to you, recognize that you are creating what you want and it is your creation, but you are also creating in association with consciousness. You incorporate the ability to be generating what you want, but acknowledge also the choice and freedom of consciousness.
In this, you may be creating a configuration of those links of consciousness which incorporated the manifestation of the creature previously, but it may be configured in a different manner. It may be configured in agreement with your choice and your want as a dog, perhaps, but it may not necessarily be configured identically to the previous manifestation. Are you understanding?
SEALE: Yes, but before, I was doubting so much so I thought, “Okay, focus on something I really want,” which was Emmers. I know she wanted to come back, so it’s like then there should be no reason that she can’t come back as a Dalmatian, how she was. And so much has changed with me that that would be one thing that would be familiar! I don’t know why I was so stuck on her coming back as a Dalmatian, because I thought that was her and my understanding. I mean, I know she wanted to come back; that I knew for sure. So to me, it was like coming back as she was, just different in the sense of not having so much struggle and where we can have more fun and play this time.
ELIAS: The nature of consciousness is change. This is natural expression of consciousness. In this, it incorporates that action continuously. Even within your manifestation, my friend, there is continuous change, is there not?
SEALE: In me? Yes.
ELIAS: This is the nature of consciousness.
SEALE: But I look more or less the same.
ELIAS: Even your physical appearance alters.
SEALE: Yes, I got heavier, but now I’m trying to keep that down! (Laughs)
ELIAS: Which is another expression of change. In this, I am not expressing to you that you cannot manifest this creature once again in that form. I am not expressing that to you. What I am expressing to you is that you within yourself are generating a rigidness and therefore are creating limitations in your allowance of yourself to be creating ANY configuration.
SEALE: So if I’m understanding correctly, what you’re saying is if I’m open to creating her but creating her in however she comes out, then that’s me acknowledging her linking up, or the consciousness linking up.
ELIAS: Correct, but knowing that you are expressing the direction. Therefore, it becomes your creation.
SEALE: I know, but that part gets confusing to me, because I thought I understood. When I wasn’t taking full responsibility, then I thought it was because I wasn’t taking full responsibility. Now it feels like I’m going back the other way, because originally that’s what I thought. I thought that it was — I know what you’d say, not co-creating — but I mean that there was their choice, too. No matter how badly I want to create it, if they don’t agree it ain’t gonna happen!
ELIAS: Incorrect, for you are expressing an assumption that this is an entity, and it is not. It is a movement of energy.
SEALE: Emmy’s not an entity?
SEALE: I don’t know if I understand that exactly, but all right.
ELIAS: You are creating the physical entity.
SEALE: She’s not doing that?
ELIAS: Correct, for there is no physical entity.
SEALE: All right, let me write this down. I’m creating the physical entity which is Emmy.
SEALE: Okay, so what is she doing?
ELIAS: It is not a matter of doing.
SEALE: I thought you said that she may not come back as her.
ELIAS: I am understanding. This is what I am expressing to you in relation to your configuration of that energy and not limiting yourself.
SEALE: I must be being dense, because there’s something I’m not understanding, obviously. Do you understand? Are you seeing?
SEALE: I don’t get this. Okay, I am creating her...
ELIAS: You create physical matter, physical manifestations, from no thing, for consciousness is not a thing.
SEALE: It’s energy.
ELIAS: Correct. It is movement; it is an action. It is not an entity.
SEALE: I was thinking energy in terms of being entity, then.
SEALE: Oh, that’s the problem! So she’s able to...
ELIAS: There is no “she.” This is what I am expressing to you. There is no entity. It is a matter of configuring energy to create a “she,” to create an entity.
SEALE: But at what point does she become the ... or does she have input? Or she doesn’t have any? I thought you said that they could decide whatever they decide. Are you saying at the moment I create her, at that point then she can choose to do whatever?
SEALE: So it’s like I create the matter of her...
SEALE: ...and then she decides what form in terms of ... or I decide the form, too?
ELIAS: You choose the form and you create the physical manifestation with a configuration of energy.
SEALE: Why is it such a big deal about a Dalmatian or not a Dalmatian, or a dog versus a hawk or eagle?
ELIAS: This is your question.
SEALE: I know, but you said I was limiting myself by saying that I wanted her to come back as a Dalmatian. Actually, that should be easier for me to manifest, because that’s what I’m familiar with! But it seems like it’s harder.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but what I am expressing to you is that in focusing your attention in the manner in which you have been thus far, you are limiting your ability to be creating. For you are expressing, first of all, that you perceive this creature to be some type of nonphysical entity which is merely waiting for you to be creating a physical manifestation for it to enter, and this is not the situation. In this, your viewing of this one particular type of physical dog is your imagery that you present to yourself in thinking that you may find a physical dog of this type, and once you find this physical dog you shall somehow direct that thing in consciousness to enter the dog, which is not what is being created. This is the reason that you are experiencing such difficulty.
SEALE: Because I am thinking of her as ... I said the word “energy,” but you’re right, it’s an entity more than energy.
SEALE: All right. I’ll try to ... but Elias, this is hard for me to understand. I don’t know why, but it is! I mean, I’m trying to understand it.
ELIAS: The manner in which you create this type of manifestation is quite the same as all of the other manifestations that you generate within your focus. As you draw to yourself other individuals, what are you doing? You are drawing to yourself other energies.
SEALE: Yeah, but I don’t have a process of how it happens.
ELIAS: I am understanding, but nonetheless you are not accidentally or coincidently drawing energy expressions to yourself. And once you draw those energy expressions to yourself, what do you generate? You receive the energy that you have drawn to yourself and you create physical manifestations through your perception.
SEALE: Actually, that just reminded me of something that I didn’t write down, but I did on some other piece of paper. My impression is that Ed is an aspect or focus or some connection to my dad.
ELIAS: No, but does express a similar energy.
SEALE: Oh, no. (Pause) That’s not good. Is there something I have to...? Why am I doing that?
ELIAS: To offer yourself the opportunity to be interacting with a similar energy in different manners. (Pause)
SEALE: It’s that thing about he’s a victim of my choices.
ELIAS: But recognize also how often you continue to be concerning yourself...
SEALE: ...with his choices and actions.
SEALE: I know, and that’s amazing, because I do that so darn automatically!
ELIAS: And this is the point of becoming aware of automatic responses.
SEALE: I’d rather not be aware any more of that!
ELIAS: For once you allow yourself to genuinely be paying attention in the now continuously and to yourself and your automatic responses, you offer yourself the freedom of choice.
SEALE: I did do that, right, when I recognized it? It was like, “Oh my god! How many times when I ask him something, he ignores it?” Then I just discount and I just leave it. I’ve been catching myself. I recognize that pattern and I say no. If I want an answer, then I ask it again. So is that what we’re talking about?
ELIAS: Partially, yes.
SEALE: Oh, good! So I am getting it, because now that’s not so overwhelming, that I recognize that part.
SEALE: That’s what we’re talking about, for me to keep doing that, keep realizing how many times I backtrack if I ask something or have some need, not to just let it fall down because of somebody else’s reaction.
ELIAS: Correct. Pay attention to what YOU are doing, pay attention to your responses, and listen to yourself in association with what YOU want. Do not concern yourself repeatedly with the choices and behaviors of other individuals.
SEALE: Yes, then I get really depressed and locked up and paralyzed, or whatever.
ELIAS: I am understanding. I may express to you quite definitely, the more that you pay attention to you and offer yourself permission to freely express yourself and trust yourself, the more you shall generate what you actually want, and the energies that you draw to you shall reflect that. (16-second pause)
SEALE: I think Ken was asking if he is an essence of Rasputin. (Pause)
SEALE: Oh, cool! Let’s see, anything else I need to ask? Is there anything else that you see that might be helpful, besides the most obvious of paying attention to myself? Because I really am trying, and I’ve always wanted that. I just don’t always keep doing that.
ELIAS: I am understanding. Offer to yourself a temporary time framework in which you genuinely allow yourself to be noticing automatic responses, not necessarily altering them or incorporating any different actions, but merely practice noticing automatic responses.
In this, it matters not how insignificant any automatic response may be. In this temporary time framework it is significant merely that you notice, for this shall offer you a practice base, so to speak, in which it may become easier for you to be noticing some automatic responses that you would not necessarily be recognizing objectively.
In some of these automatic responses, attempt to notice triggers, for this may be helpful to you also. For as you allow yourself to recognize certain triggers, you also may begin to evaluate what you are expressing within yourself in association with those triggers. (Pause)
SEALE: Triggers — you’re talking about fear?
ELIAS: Not necessarily. Many times automatic responses are motivated by a trigger, so to speak. In this, a particular word may be a trigger for an automatic response, a particular movement, a specific action. There are many different triggers associated with automatic responses in which, as any of these triggers are expressed, you generate the same automatic response each time. (Pause)
SEALE: Oh, I know. When someone starts attacking me and then I defend automatically.
Now; what is significant is that you allow yourself to notice in the moment in which it is occurring, for many times you may be identifying a trigger and an automatic response when it is not occurring. The challenge is to be noticing it when it is occurring.
SEALE: I am starting to do that, right? The last couple of times, I went, “Ah ha! This is familiar!”
SEALE: This is good. Oh, man, I can’t wait! The harmony’s not far off! (Both laugh)
Oh my goodness! Well, I really appreciate all that you’ve said to me, and I’ll be talking with you again. This has been more exciting again. I’m getting rid of some of that deep, deep stuff, I guess!
ELIAS: (Laughs) I offer to you my continued encouragement.
SEALE: You know what? I haven’t noticed you around as much. Is that because I’ve been so focused on trying to notice my automatic stuff and all that I’m creating?
ELIAS: Yes. It is not that I am not expressing energy to you or am not present; it is merely that your attention is directed in different areas. Therefore, you are not moving your attention in a manner in which you are expressing an openness and a noticing of my energy. It matters not; it is your choice. I continue to express my energy to you regardless.
SEALE: I miss you when I’m not noticing it. Is that you with the smiley face on my email? That’s how I’ve been noticing you.
ELIAS: (Laughs) Yes.
SEALE: Oh, good. I have gotten it, then. (Elias chuckles) Well, I look forward to more noticing, then!
ELIAS: Very well, my friend, and accept my encouragement.
SEALE: Oh, thank you! I will.
ELIAS: As always, I express great affection to you.
SEALE: You too, my friend.
ELIAS: And I shall be anticipating our next meeting. In friendship, au revoir.
Elias departs at 1:36 PM.
©2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.