Tuesday, December 17, 2002 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Don (Allard)

Elias arrives at 3:18 PM. (Arrival time is 22 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good day!

DON: Well, good day, Elias!

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! And how shall we proceed?

DON: Well, the big thing on my mind is I think I’ve started some kind of small duplicity wave, small in time but it’s been pretty intense in effect for about the last two to three weeks. I’ve really been noticing how much judging I’ve been doing of other people, how much of myself, and really noticing how strong my protections are.

In particular, I’ve been confused about this reticence I have to really change it, even though I don’t like it. I feel like I hold onto it for dear life with sort of sometimes a false pride, sometimes a feeling that I really can’t do it differently anyway so I don’t even want to try — neither of those and all of those and some of that. That’s what’s been going on.

Maybe before — I’d thought I’d get that out there — I have some smaller questions first that I could ask you.

ELIAS: Very well.

DON: I have a couple questions from Sandy/Allesander. One is he’d like to know if Mongol General Subedei Bahadur is a focus of his.

ELIAS: Observing essence.

DON: And is he being observed by three other essences — Sandy’s focus, that is?

ELIAS: Two.

DON: He had the impression that Pablo Picasso was a focus of mine. I wonder what you would say about that.

ELIAS: Observing essence.

DON: I’ve had the notion that the essences, our essences Allard and Allesander, have participated quite a few times as one observing a focus that the other is directing. Is that correct?

ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.

DON: That is a relationship as essence we like to engage in, I guess.

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: I wonder if I could ask you what my colors are?

ELIAS: And your impression?

DON: Well, I’m a little confused as to the difference between the color representing the tone of my focus and that of my essence. One, I would say, is navy blue. I’m thinking that’s the tone of my essence or the color of my essence. Would that be correct?

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: And of my focus, a lighter blue, something like a sky blue or almost a baby blue?

ELIAS: No. Brown.

DON: My friend Keith had a session with you recently. A few months ago in a session, I asked you what his essence name and families were and you gave him, at that time, Lauraline for his essence name and belonging to Sumafi, aligned with Ilda. Then last week you gave them to him as essence name Allistar, belonging to Sumari, aligned with Zuli. I wonder, did he go through a fragmentation or a merging between the time I asked you and when he did?

ELIAS: Fragmentation of this focus.

DON: I thought I felt sort of a subtle change in his direction of attention between that time and this time, not less of an intensity in our connection but sort of a difference in the vibration.

ELIAS: Correct.

DON: That would be reflective of his fragmentation?

ELIAS: Correct.

DON: Was my essence Allard in any way involved with that fragmentation?

ELIAS: Yes!

DON: I noticed — this may not have any significance — but I know that Allesander fragmented from Allard and they both start with the letters A-L-L. And now Keith has fragmented and now his essence name also starts with A-L-L. Is there any significance to that being shared between the three of us? Does that reflect a fragmentation relationship between all of us?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. As I have explained previously, the fragmenting essence, the new essence, chooses certain qualities that it wishes to be expressing, and in this, they may be choosing certain tones in qualities that are similar to the essence that they may be fragmented from.

Now; this is not a rule, but at times you may objectively incorporate an awareness of some of these similarities, and this is an expression of one.

DON: Is Aleister Crowley either a focus of Keith’s or does he have a relationship to him, that individual? (Pause)

ELIAS: A friend.

DON: I had a strange thing happen last week. It was sort of a... I’ll ask another question first.

I had an impulse to do something last week and as I was considering it and just almost rejecting the urge to act upon it, I saw a yellow dot flash in my vision. Then I heard what sounded like almost a hissing snake-like female voice say, “Yessssss,” to me. I thought that was perhaps Ayla suggesting that I might act upon that impulse. Is that correct or was that something else?

ELIAS: Your impression is correct.

DON: And actually she was trying to get me to notice that impulse, in fact?

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: Then later she — I thought in a more normal voice — she said to me, yes, that’s just the voice she likes to use to really get people to notice. (Elias laughs) Is that a good translation?

ELIAS: Accurate, yes. (Laughs)

DON: You actually introduced her to me in the normal voice, I thought. (Elias chuckles)

ELIAS: You are paying attention!

DON: Beg your pardon?

ELIAS: You are paying attention!

DON: Well, maybe there! Not as much as I could, perhaps. (Elias chuckles)

Speaking of paying attention, though, by following a set of impulses and making some connections or drawing some connections together from seemingly disconnected events — one of which was Keith’s session, in fact — I was led to find a picture of Bob Dylan and Allen Ginsberg sitting next to the gravesite of Jack Kerouac. And both because of what the impulses were that led me to that and then the imagery in that, I actually had the impression that that was a message that I was receiving from Vic but a message for Dale, in fact. Is that impression correct or did I distort that?

ELIAS: You are correct.

DON: So that was actually Vic’s energy assisting in finding that picture, and it was a message both for me and for Dale, then?

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: And that led in turn — this was kind of a combination of impressions that both Dale and I followed — that ended up leading Dale to find the book “The Knight in Rusty Armor.” She thought that was the ultimate message that Vic had, was for her to find that book. Was that correct?

ELIAS: Correct.

DON: That was a pretty potent book. I know I’m definitely dealing with my own armoring as I was talking about in different words at the beginning.

Do you have anything to say about this duplicity wave that I feel like I’m in right now?

ELIAS: Express to myself, what are your impressions concerning this action that you are engaging?

DON: My impression is that I have reached a point where if I do not, the duplicity... My duplicity beliefs and my choosing in line with them are no stronger, I think, in the last three weeks than they have ever been generally, but I’ve reached a point where if I don’t start noticing and addressing these I will not be able to ultimately find the freedom of expression that is really my desire, just as you and Keith talked about. So essentially, it’s time to really notice these and it’s time to notice my reticence to let go of them...

ELIAS: Correct.

DON: ...and to let go of my armor.

ELIAS: Correct.

DON: The last three weeks have really been... I have been giving myself imagery to really finally notice and know that I need to address these...

ELIAS: Correct.

DON: ...before further movement can occur.

ELIAS: You are correct. In this, you are generating an experience in similarity to many other individuals, in which you present to yourself an intensity to move your attention and to generate a motivation to be creating an exploration of what you are expressing and what is motivating that, and to express a motivation within yourself to be not merely addressing to this action and the influence of these beliefs, but also offering yourself a genuine recognition of how this hinders your movement and creates obstacles within your experiences and therefore you prevent yourself from accomplishing what you want.

But this is significant also, for as you offer yourself this intensity of these experiences, it becomes quite real, and in that reality, you genuinely move your attention to evaluate what you genuinely desire and recognize what you may be incorporating in your movement to allow you to accomplish actualizing your desire.

I may express to you, you are correct. Your intensity of the expression of duplicity is no greater than it has been pastly, but you are paying attention more now.

DON: So part of my actually noticing this duplicity wave has been noticing more how much I do not pay attention...

ELIAS: Correct!

DON: ...and then judging that. But in fact, I have been paying more attention lately.

ELIAS: Correct. And in this, you are generating your own version, so to speak, of an exercise that I have offered previously to other individuals, that they may be noticing more clearly the frequency in which they express judgments and also discounting of themselves.

DON: In fact, similar to an exercise you gave Keith.

ELIAS: Correct.

DON: I felt — we’re really close; he shared his tape with me — I thought that I was subjectively present for much of that session.

ELIAS: Yes, I am aware, and also addressing to similar expressions.

DON: Yes. I’ve been trying to identify why I have held and have chosen to hold on so tightly to my own armor, to my own protections. I have a little trouble with that. It would be easy to say, well, it’s because of fear. It would be easy to say it’s because of duplicity and false pride and judgments, things like I don’t deserve anything different than what I have already generated.

But also, I’ve been trying to think of what maybe my intent has been overall as essence in this dimension, and somehow this idea of self-denial of a certain amount of help or assistance that focuses can avail themselves of has something to do with my particular investigation of separation as essence in this dimension. I wonder what you might comment on that, if that made any sense?

ELIAS: As an offering of your identification of your intent in this focus?

DON: No, more as my intent as essence within this dimension, my overall intent. (Pause)

ELIAS: Generally, although I may also express to you as a general theme in essence, as essence in this physical dimension, you do, in a manner of speaking, lean in the direction of a preference of an exploration of what you may term to be the shadows of experiences. You as essence do incorporate a type of fascination with what you may term to be the darker experiences.

DON: Yes, well, that certainly makes sense.

If I might return to the idea of dropping one’s protections and “The Knight in Rusty Armor,” Dale had a couple of questions related that I, at least in general, think would be good questions for me, too. One is she wondered if you had an exercise you might offer to help her shed her armor.

ELIAS: Experiment and choose one action intentionally in each day in which you express exposure. It matters not what the choice is or whether you deem it to be large or small, but offer the experience of one expression of exposure in some manner within each day.

DON: And that would be generally applicable for assisting in shedding one’s armor?

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: I’ll ask her other question. She was wondering if you could provide to her an identification of the wall she... I’ll read it specifically: “an identification of the wall I keep my banging my ball against in relation to imagery I create of Nigel.”

ELIAS: This also is associated with a reluctance to be expressing exposure and therefore is generating other imagery outwardly in reflection of that.

DON: Part of, I think, the duplicity wave of mine I have going is my daughter, Kim, has created a very difficult situation for herself. It’s been very hard for me not to judge myself and her for first creating it, and then for me, I judge myself for not trying to fix it for her.

Part of my own judgments about that are that I can feel it’s choosing in line with my own duplicitous beliefs, and judging her has led me to choose not to help her. I’m confused about this situation. I wondered if you had anything to say about it. (Pause)

ELIAS: You are expressing reluctance to be helpful to the other individual for you are viewing your judgments?

DON: Yes. Yes, I view my judgment of her, and I feel like I use ideas of her having created this as a camouflage to really further judge her, choosing in line with my own duplicitous beliefs.

ELIAS: And what is your payoff?

DON: Well, my first thought is my payoff is a certain kind of laziness. There is something there, that if I don’t help her there’s something I don’t need to address in myself or, I don’t know, I don’t need to do anything.

ELIAS: Correct. But you also incorporate the expression of guilt associated with a lack of action, for you are expressing to yourself that regardless of your judgments, you should be generating certain actions.

DON: Were I a good father, quote/unquote, yes, I would be generating those actions.

ELIAS: Correct, in association with your role. I may express to you, in theory and in concept you are correct in what you are expressing, that you need not incorporate any action. And in theory, you are correct that the other individual creates their reality and you are not responsible. But the difference is that you are incorporating this information as a shield and you are, in your terms, using this information to justify yourself and therefore continue in your expression of judgment.

DON: Yes. I can feel the truth of that, and as you were saying in Keith’s session, I feel this circle of beliefs I am choosing in line with and I’m not sure how to break it.

ELIAS: First of all, the genuine recognition of what you are actually doing is significant. In genuinely allowing yourself to view and recognize what you are expressing and what is influencing of that, you may also be acknowledging of yourself in that expression.

For what you are generating — and you are quite correct — is quite similar to what your friend has been generating. This is a type of circle in which you continue to reinforce the action and the beliefs in discounting of yourself. As you interrupt that circle with a different expression, it may also allow you to generate somewhat of a relaxation, distracting yourself, and therefore offer you the opportunity to be altering your perception.

Now; the interruption is to be acknowledging of your expression, regardless of what it is, rather than incorporating another expression of judgment in relation to what beliefs you are expressing or what is influencing of your choices or your actions. All of these expressions that you have been generating continue to reinforce the circle, for it is judgment upon judgment upon judgment, and discounting upon discounting upon discounting.

Now; in the action of genuinely recognizing what you are expressing, but not automatically expressing the judgment and rather interrupting that cycle, express an acknowledgment that this is merely a choice and that this is what you are choosing, this is what you are doing, and express no further.

DON: “Express no further” as in do not continue that chain of judgments upon judgments that I tend to come up with when I choose automatically.

ELIAS: Correct, but also merely acknowledge and in your terms, my friend, be done with it, for this incorporates the potential also as another trap to merely create a different avenue to generate the same cycle. For you may be expressing the recognition of what you are doing and what influences that in genuineness, and you may interrupt the discounting and the judgment in the acknowledgment of what you are expressing, but in this time framework you have become quite familiar with turning any expression that you generate and incorporating it as a justification in a camouflage. This would not serve your purpose presently, to be incorporating that action automatically once again in the justification in association with the acknowledgment. Are you understanding?

DON: I think so. I can really hold on to the “be done with it.” (Elias and Don chuckle) In fact, it feels like entering a cycle, like this is a big part of my armor, in general.

ELIAS: Yes, I am in agreement. (Pause)

DON: I’m still a little confused on it, but I’ll listen to the tape and I think it will come. (Laughs) My energy is very scattered today.

ELIAS: I am aware! (Elias and Don laugh)

DON: Does it feel different to you, then, from session to session that I have with you?

ELIAS: Generally speaking, you do express a similar energy expression. This day you are expressing a different type of energy.

DON: I can certainly feel it, too. In fact, it feels related to this noticing of duplicity that’s been going on with me.

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: There is a tone that I was looking for recently for myself. I picked it up because it also is close to an old name I had as Lleindoh or Lleingo. Sandy, when he heard that, had an impression of something slightly different — Llewendohn. I felt in my own search for this tone that it has something to do with this recent noticing of duplicity. Do you have anything to say about that?

ELIAS: In actuality, your impressions are correct, and this tone, so to speak, is associated with another focus and is...

DON: Another focus?

ELIAS: Yes. And this other focus, you are drawing that tone to your awareness now, for that attention expresses a tremendous output of judgments. Quite a disagreeable individual! (Elias and Don laugh)

DON: I should probably investigate on my own to try to learn a little bit more about him, I suppose, but now I’ll just ask you if you have a hint as to time and place or situation.

ELIAS: Time framework, late 1600s, early 1700s; physical location, Bolivia; a male individual, quite cantankerous!

DON: I’ve rarely seen you say that!

ELIAS: Interesting individual! (Laughs)

DON: Daryl and I have been trying to contact each other in dreams, and I feel like recently I was able to contact her a couple of times. I don’t know if subjectively we’ve been contacting each other perhaps for years and if it’s just the objective noticing that’s different or if there’s a difference to the contact, but I felt like I had one dream where I came upon her and another person. I think the other person may have been Debi, but I don’t know. I don’t have such a feel for her energy. They were singing in unison and I came along and sang a harmony part with them, and it was a really rewarding, fun dream. Was that actually a contact with Daryl and me?

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: Was the other individual Debi?

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: The song we were singing, I thought the significance of the lyrics, “Old Man,” while it was confrontational — this is the song “Old Man” by Neil Young — it still was really dealing with removing or lessening of separation and that it was both the confrontation and the lessening of separation that was significant.

ELIAS: Yes.

DON: What would be the interpretation of the confrontation, that is the confrontational nature of the lyrics with regard to our own imagery?

ELIAS: The confrontational imagery is that associated with each of you in your expressions of conflict and judgment in association with yourselves, not necessarily with other individuals or each other, but that which is generated inwardly in association with yourselves, and thusly is expressed outwardly in energy and therefore generates difficulties, so to speak, in each of your interactions with other individuals — less so with Ashrah, for she does not express as much physical interaction with other individuals as do you or Oona. But the inward action is very similar.

DON: Actually, singing in general has become new imagery for me, or recent imagery for me, in dreams. I don’t remember it until recently, and I thought that that imagery generally has to do with Ashrah and our starting to contact each other more in dreams. Is that correct or is it something else?

ELIAS: Partially. It also is imagery that you are presenting to yourself in acknowledgment of movement that you are generating. For although you may be presenting yourself with expressions of duplicity and you may be noticing more of an intensity of judgments and of camouflage, this is not to say that you are not generating movement, and you are. In this, you offer this symbology of song, for this is a representation of exposure.

DON: Interesting. I’ve found a lot of imagery pointing me to my dreams lately as if feeling like it’s time for a cycle... It’s something that I’m feeling at some level, like choosing more strongly, and that’s investigating my dreams right now.

ELIAS: Which may offer you significant information with less conflict.

DON: Yes, yes. It feels like it’s a route or a channel of information that I’ve been ignoring for some time now. Not completely ignoring, but it just feels good to start looking at dreams again now. (Elias chuckles)

So, one short question regarding the imagery that was part of the message from Vic. I felt a part of the message to me had something to do with a watchfulness or maintaining vigilance.

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. Lawrence continues to be expressing energy in association with this forum and the action of this shift in consciousness, and in this may be directing his energy and focusing some energy in an expression of offering supportiveness to individuals that are recognized as expressing or experiencing similar actions and associations as did he in the focus which participated in this forum.

DON: Oh! That’s interesting, because one piece of the imagery — and there were a lot of connections — the one piece of it was something like a suggestion of “don’t do as I have done or as I did.” Is that a translation without a lot of distortion?

ELIAS: Correct.

Now; in this, recognize that Lawrence, being expressed nonphysically, is not focusing attention and energy in relation to individual manifestations. Therefore, the energy is not being expressed in relation to you as this manifestation of which you term yourself as Don but there is a recognition of the energy expression, and specific energy expressions in which there is a responsiveness to be offering supportive energy to those energy expressions that are recognized as incorporating a similarity in relation to experiences. Which, in actuality, is significant, for it is being received by many of you within your physical focus. Lawrence is becoming quite efficient at directing specific energy expressions.

DON: As part of her proficiency, it felt like maybe she was able to use the anniversary of her death to ... maybe because this imagery came about at that time. Is that correct? Did that help her facilitate this and other expressions?

ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.

DON: Well, I think that’s all I have, Elias. My energy is feeling a little less scattered. (Elias and Don laugh) Yeah, it’s really out there! Thanks for adapting.

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! You are quite welcome, my friend. And I may express to you, allow yourself to relax. Do not generate more expectations upon yourself than you already have! (Don laughs) And in this, allow yourself to acknowledge yourself and let go.

I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and you may offer my greetings to your friend and my acknowledgment that I continue to be interactive with him in his exercise.

DON: I’ll remind him.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend. As always, I offer to you tremendous affection and great encouragement.

DON: Thank you.

ELIAS: In fondness, au revoir.

DON: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 4:09 PM.

©2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

---

Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.