Hope, Disappointment, and Empowering Yourself
“Hope, Disappointment, and Empowering Yourself in the Now”
“How To Be Successful with Women”
Tuesday, December 10, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and a new participant, Keith (Allistar)
Elias arrives at 2:12 PM. (Arrival time is 20 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good day!
KEITH: Good day!
KEITH: Well, thank you. I’m a little ... feeling some fear. I’m a little scared talking to you. (Elias chuckles) I’ve read a lot of transcripts. I used to read a lot of Seth material and I’ve always been fascinated by it. I’ve always felt that if I could just master this stuff then I could be a sorcerer and I could create my own reality the way I want it (laughs) instead of the way it is!
ELIAS: And as you widen your awareness, so you shall!
KEITH: Yeah, it’s a challenge widening my awareness without having my ego-mind or whatever you want to call it stopping and saying, “Ooo, look at that!”
I’m having a hard time accepting myself. I’ve been reading a lot about self-acceptance, and boy, I just find more and more that it’s like I’m loathing myself. My automatic response in life is to feel a sense of loathing because I didn’t turn out the way I was supposed to, you know? I have this idea that I came into this world to be a certain way, and it didn’t turn out that way and I’m pissed off about it! I don’t accept myself because I made mistakes or because my father made me the way that I am. I’m a victim of myself and of my situation.
KEITH: Yet I like to think, I like to believe that we all create our own reality. So then I beat myself up for being a victim of myself, because you’re not supposed to do that, that’s bad, that’s wrong.
ELIAS: Ah. And what ARE you supposed to do?
KEITH: In my life? I’m supposed to be the archetype of kind of happy-go-luck traveler, and most importantly I’m supposed to be sort of like the lover. I’m supposed to be really successful with women.
KEITH: And have women in my life and have intimacy with women, maybe several women at once. You know, kind of like not a James Bond in an action sense but more just as a lover.
ELIAS: (Humorously) And which god expressed this to you as your plan of your life, so to speak?
KEITH: I don’t know. I haven’t had an affinity with any particular god, other than when I read certain things it gives me hope that I can then manifest that. See, ever since I was little I’ve always felt that way about myself. (Elias chuckles) I’ve never been a Christian. I followed Buddhism a little bit but more just for the meditation.
ELIAS: In actuality, that question was quite facetious. (Chuckles)
KEITH: I figured, but... (Elias laughs) It’ll take me a while to kind of get into the flow of this.
I’m also not trusting. I’m not trusting of myself, of course, and that leads to not being even trusting of this situation of you coming to this world sort of and being able to tell us how things are. I sure want to believe it, but there’s a part of me that’s like protecting myself by being skeptical about it and thinking, “Oh, it’s not true. They’re just making it up.”
ELIAS: I am understanding. And in actuality, it matters not whether you actually believe such occurrences are possible or not, for what is significant is that you listen to you and you pay attention to yourself. For you shall offer yourself much more information and you shall offer yourself much more than any concepts that I may offer to you. But I may express to you that I may be helpful if you are allowing.
KEITH: Well, that’s why I’m here! (Elias laughs)
I have noticed lately that I put a lot on hope. I’ll find something, like for instance I find Elias, and now I put hope that Elias can help me change. I’m sort of like happy in the present because I have hope that the future will be different than it is now.
ELIAS: Ah. And the key...
KEITH: I get very depressed when I decide that the hope was false.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
KEITH: It seems like when I get depressed, I’ll look at my life and I’ll think everything’s in my mind; nothing’s really manifested out there in terms of this issue with relationships. The issues with being successful, how I want my life to look — I travel and I have a business — that kind of stuff seems to come easy for me. But interaction with other people... I don’t know how to be the straight little sapling. I’m always wondering how they’re seeing me. I’m always giving away my power, trying to fit into what they want to see rather than just pushing out in my own direction.
ELIAS: The key, my friend, is to be empowering yourself in the now. Hope is an interesting expression, for it offers individuals a false sense of themselves and of their world, for it is an expression that reinforces holding your attention outside of the now. Therefore, as you do not pay attention to the now, you also do not address to what you are generating in the now, and many times you do become disappointed, for you do not necessarily generate futurely what you had hoped to be generating.
At times, individuals incorporate this expression of hopefulness to be helpful to themselves in the now and do allow themselves to be paying attention to the now. But more often, individuals incorporate this expression and do not offer themselves the opportunity of choice or change, for they are not paying attention to what they are generating now. This is the key to your freedom — not what the future may bring, but what you may be doing now and how you may be expressing now.
This is the seat of your freedom and your power, and this is the greatest challenge, to be paying attention. Not merely to be paying attention in the now, which is tremendously significant, but also to be paying attention to self in the now, which is quite a tricky business at times. (Chuckles)
KEITH: Yes, it certainly is.
ELIAS: For you are unaccustomed to paying attention to yourself, and you are unfamiliar with holding your attention in the now in each moment and continuing to allow yourself to pay attention to outside expressions simultaneously. But it is quite doable, so to speak.
KEITH: With practice.
ELIAS: Correct. It is merely a matter of allowing yourself to begin and recognizing how to be expressing these actions simultaneously and not allowing yourself to slip into automatic responses which discount yourself.
But even if you are expressing automatic responses in the time framework in which you are practicing moving your attention, another key is not to be expressing judgment upon yourself in that action but merely acknowledging and recognizing that the next moment is yet again another opportunity to continue your practicing. In this, it is not a question of gathering volumes of information and thusly someday you shall incorporate enough understanding to be changing your expressions or your individual world, but rather beginning now in noticing and offering yourself choice. For what you create now shapes what you create futurely.
The future is merely an illusion, my friend. It is not actually real. What is real is now. Is the future occurring now? No. And what you create and what you choose now is the setting for the direction of that illusion of the future, for you are moving in continuous movements of now. It appears to you that you incorporate past and future, for you move in a reality that incorporates linear time, but in actuality it is merely a movement of successive nows.
In this, what do you view within yourself in this present day, in this one day, that depresses you or you express anxiety in relation to?
KEITH: Right now?
KEITH: That there are a million attractive females out there and I feel completely powerless and incapable of doing, being, having what I need to have to be charismatic towards them, to be attractive to them, and feeling that sense of hopelessness about it.
ELIAS: Very well. What influences this is projecting your attention outwardly and generating expectations concerning your behavior and the behavior of other individuals, and your discounting of yourself in your ability to actually create what you want.
In this, as you continue to project your attention outside of yourself, you continue to reinforce this discounting of yourself, for you do not offer yourself an objective understanding of what you are actually generating, what energy you are projecting outwardly and what influences that.
KEITH: I will go and approach a woman and I am hyperaware of what I have to guess she sees in me. Rather than what I’m perceiving in her, I’m trying to guess what she’s perceiving, and I’m immediately jumping to the conclusion that she wants me to go away, that I’m being really ... I don’t know, something that’s not positive. And then I feel very depressed afterwards.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
Now; as you allow yourself this recognition, which you already know objectively what you are generating, you may also begin to turn your attention to you.
Create an experimentation. Pay attention to you and what you want and what you want to be expressing. Do not misunderstand and confuse yourself in familiar expressions and patterns of expressing to yourself a thought process to identify what you want which is outside of yourself. This is not what I am expressing. Not to be expressing to yourself, “I want another individual, a female, to be paying attention to me and to be expressing in a certain manner.” No. This is NOT what you want. It is a by-product of what you want, and therefore it is a natural payoff in allowing yourself what you genuinely want. But what you genuinely want is to freely express yourself without hesitation, without limitation, and to be expressing a vulnerability and an openness and an exposure of yourself without fear. For as you allow yourself the freedom to genuinely appreciate yourself and thusly genuinely express yourself outwardly, you project a very different type of energy. You are not generating expectations.
Other individuals recognize energy more quickly than any other type of communication. Regardless of what you may verbally say to another individual or even what you do, your energy shall express to another individual what you are genuinely expressing. In this, other individuals respond to the energy projection that you express, just as you respond to the energy projection of other individuals.
Now; the difference at times is that some individuals, such as yourself, generate such a tightness of their energy in protection of themselves that as you receive an energy projection from another individual, you, in a manner of speaking, distort their expression. You filter it through your beliefs and you configure it in a manner in which you create a perception which is suspicious. This is not necessarily the energy expression that the other individual may be actually projecting to you. But in this fear and this discounting of yourself, this is what you create through the mechanism of your perception, and what you create through your perception reinforces the circle of discounting yourself.
Now; the key is to interrupt the circle, and the manner in which you interrupt the circle is to move your attention to YOU, not to the other individual, recognizing that you may continue to be expressing fearfulness and a lack of trust in your ability to allow yourself to express yourself but to incorporate movements in increments to experiment and allow yourself.
Recognize, in a manner of speaking, what terrible harmfulness shall you be expressing to yourself in allowing the freedom of your expression? You are already generating hurtfulness within yourself in protection.
KEITH: Right. It doesn’t sound like it could be any worse than that!
ELIAS: (Chuckles) You may discover that this expression of freedom within yourself is quite joyful.
KEITH: I’ve had little tastes of that from time to time when I’ve let myself. I’ve gotten a sense of being fully expressed, and that’s become my objective. I’ve had tastes of that.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
Now; as I have stated, the key is to be not waiting but to actively be generating these movements in the now.
KEITH: One interesting area that just came to mind is with my mother. Sometimes I find that I don’t want to be fully expressed with her because I feel a sense of embarrassment in myself, and then talking to her about that makes it ... I mean, I find myself having maybe some anger towards her and some anger towards myself. But I noticed that with her, it causes stagnation in our relationship.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend, in allowing yourself your freedom, you must be expressing acceptance of yourself, otherwise you shall not allow yourself this freedom, for you shall block yourself. You shall experience embarrassment or protectiveness of yourself.
But in a genuine expression of acceptance of yourself in recognition that you are a worthy individual, you are valuable and you are a tremendously creative being, you allow yourself to express the wonderment of yourself, and you may move into a genuine expression of it matters not what other individuals may perceive. But most interestingly, if you are expressing an acceptance of yourself and allowing yourself your own freedom, you create that reflection in your interactions with other individuals.
KEITH: That sounds like it would be nice. I have to be careful, though, or I’ll get hopeful about that! (Laughs with Elias) That would be bad!
I wonder if I could just ask a couple of questions before I forget?
ELIAS: Very well.
KEITH: One of them is about my mother. There’s a rosebush that was given to her by her brother that is growing in our backyard and the thing has just gone crazy. It’s just growing like mad. She feels that it’s some kind of a way that her brother, who’s passed away, is making a little joke to her. I just wondered if you had any sense about that at all.
ELIAS: I may express to you, this is her translation. In some manners, she does allow herself to tap into an energy expression of that individual. The manner in which she translates this is to be expressing her energy outwardly and affecting of this particular plant.
KEITH: So it is her energy that is affecting the plant?
ELIAS: Yes. But it is in relation to her translation of energy that she taps into of this other individual.
KEITH: I see. And then I would just like to know the basics that everybody asks — what’s my orientation and name and etcetera.
ELIAS: Essence name, Allistar, A-L-L-I-S-T-A-R (AL eh stir). And your impression?
KEITH: Of Allistar?
ELIAS: As to your essence families?
KEITH: Oh. Well, you know, I feel a little facetious in even asking, because that part of the transcripts of your sessions hasn’t interested me so much. I feel that I’ve got so many issues like we’ve already been talking about that I want to work on that it almost seems irrelevant what family I’m in. I haven’t really studied which family is which and which means which. I think part of my intent in asking you is just to see what you say.
ELIAS: Very well. (Laughs)
KEITH: So I would understand if you didn’t want to for whatever reason.
ELIAS: Ah! I shall offer. Essence family, Sumari; alignment, Zuli; orientation, common.
Now; let me also express to you as I have with other individuals of the common orientation, this also is an aspect of your challenge in this time framework. For incorporating the orientation of common, you naturally express outwardly. You naturally project your attention outwardly, but you are unfamiliar with the action of generating (your) attention outwardly and also simultaneously continuing to pay attention to you. This may be temporarily a challenge, which is also one of the reasons that I express to many individuals that there is tremendous potential to be creating trauma in association with this shift, moving into unfamiliar actions which ultimately allow you to express your freedom. Shifting into that expression may be quite challenging at times.
KEITH: I’m just turning a tape over here. Are you still there?
KEITH: Well, I appreciate that information. And what else?
ELIAS: Let me offer to you an exercise that you may experiment with, which may offer you much information concerning yourself, if you are so choosing to engage it.
Allow yourself to incorporate one day, merely one day, and within that one day attempt to be generating two movements of your attention: one, to be noticing each time and noting each time you discount yourself within one day. The other action is to be noticing what you actually do in action each moment throughout that one day.
It is unimportant in this present time framework for you to be analyzing what the meaning is of all of these actions or what your communication is to yourself. Merely allow yourself to pay attention to each action that you incorporate throughout the entirety of a day, regardless of how insignificant it appears to you. For every action that you incorporate, there is a belief that is influencing it. Every movement, every action, every expression that you may generate within your day is being influenced by a belief.
Now; the beliefs in themselves are neither good or bad; they merely are. But they are also significant in how they influence what you do. You may notice many different actions that you incorporate within one day that are influenced by the same beliefs.
Now; the significance of an exercise such as this is that, as I have stated, you create in the now and all of the actions that you engage that you deem to be significant are generally influenced by the same beliefs that are being reinforced in automatic actions and responses throughout each of your days, and you are not paying attention. Thusly, as you generate some event or encounter and you discount yourself and you express dismay with yourself that you have not created it in the manner in which you want, as I have stated many times, you create what you concentrate upon, and concentration is not necessarily associated with thought. It is associated with what beliefs you are expressing, and you continue to express repeatedly in automatic responses and are not objectively expressing an awareness of (them).
Do you brush your teeth?
KEITH: Occasionally. (Elias chuckles) Yes, I do.
ELIAS: What is your motivation?
KEITH: I want my teeth to last a long time.
KEITH: I don’t want to have to go to the dentist.
ELIAS: Therefore this action is motivated or influenced by a belief of what?
KEITH: A belief that there’s decay in the universe, entropy.
ELIAS: And also a belief that you must be incorporating protection.
This is an example of actions that you incorporate within the natural movement of your day that you do not incorporate thought in relation to but (which) is quite influenced by a belief, and that belief is being reinforced continuously.
KEITH: Well, of course, you wouldn’t recommend I just quit brushing my teeth. You’re just saying to be aware of the belief?
ELIAS: Correct. I am merely expressing to you to allow yourself to notice. For as I have stated, in themselves beliefs are not good or bad; they are not right or wrong. It is merely your association with them that you generate judgments concerning them.
KEITH: Oh, isn’t that another belief, that I have a belief about my belief sort of? That’s why it starts getting so confusing.
ELIAS: This is the belief system of duplicity, which I have expressed to individuals, this one particular belief system is different from other beliefs systems, for this particular belief system intertwines and attaches itself to every other belief system.
KEITH: I see. That fits, because I’m always making that evaluation: good/bad, better than/worse than.
KEITH: That’s interesting. It comes into a question I had about the guilt that I feel. The biggest manifestation of guilt is about my wife that I left several years ago. My belief is she still loves me and is still sad that I made the choice to leave and be on my own because I wanted to be creating this kind of life that I mentioned, of being the lover or the playboy or something. I feel a lot of guilt about what I did to her, as if she were a victim of me and that she is not conscious of things as I am — as if I’m so conscious or evolved or something. (Laughs) Anyway, that’s an area where I have a real hard time disentangling my beliefs, because I feel that it is wrong what I did.
ELIAS: The guilt is not as much expressed in relation to another individual actually, my friend, as it is in relation to yourself, for this is another expression of devaluation of yourself.
KEITH: Yes. I just wonder if you can offer me anything in that area as far as how she is, how she’s going to be. I guess I want to feel better about it and I want you to tell me that she’s an individual that’s accountable for all of her actions and she’s not a victim of me.
ELIAS: And so you are correct. I may express to you, in your tremendous devaluing of yourself, you also generate a common camouflage of expressing this powerfulness to be creating another individual’s reality, which you do not do.
No other individual may create any aspect of your reality, and you do not create any aspect of any other individual’s reality. It is their choice, just as it is your choice how you receive energy. As any of you interact with each other, as I have expressed many times, what you are actually interactive with is the energy projection of another individual. YOU actually create the physical manifestation through the projection of your perception, and every other individual incorporates this same action. Therefore, whatever is created in her world, in her reality, she has created.
This is not to say that you have not shared and participated with each other in your realities together, but these are all choices, my friend. Even choices that are uncomfortable ARE choices. Were she not to be incorporating the choice to disengage relationship with you also, it would not occur.
KEITH: At least not for her, huh?
KEITH: It plays into this other thing that I’m trying to untangle about how it’s like I’m being punished for being that way, or that there’s something about being chosen to be an attractive individual, or before I was born having the intention for my life to go the way it is. Because when other women don’t seem to be attracted to me, I feel that I was wrong to reject the women that were attracted to me so that I could be free again.
ELIAS: Ah, therefore you are living your karma! There is no karma, my friend. This is another belief. But I may express to you, in relation to beliefs as they are expressed, they become quite real. What I am expressing to you is that it is not an absolute. But this is not to say that if you are expressing the belief that you must be or should be paying a price for wrong behavior in association with other individuals, this is what you shall generate.
KEITH: Right. I’m sure there’s some of that there.
ELIAS: But as you recognize that this is a belief, you also may offer yourself choice. It is not a matter of eliminating the belief but merely acknowledging and expressing to yourself an awareness that you do incorporate this belief but also recognizing that you may choose to be expressing it or not. You may choose how to be manipulating your energy, how to be projecting it in relation to what you want, rather than continuing to be discounting of yourself and devaluing yourself in your perception.
KEITH: Let me put this into my words to see if I kind of got something about what you said. I’ve been thinking that my goal is to be successful with women, so I keep trying to do things that I think will make me successful with women and sort of living in the hope that those things will work. Even now, I find myself thinking that if I just do what you’re talking about doing and be fully expressed then I’ll be successful with women. What you’re really saying is be in the moment, be in the present moment, and I will be generating what it is that I really do want rather than thinking that I must want to be with women. It may not even turn out that way, but at least I’ll be generating something in the moment.
ELIAS: Correct, and you shall be generating what you want. Perhaps you do want to be expressing in a certain manner in relation to female individuals, but your successfulness in that expression shall be accomplished in allowing yourself to be accepting of you and expressing freely yourself, without reservation.
KEITH: It seems this whole idea of having a goal sometimes gets in the way of being in the moment.
ELIAS: I am understanding, for many times this also becomes an absolute and this denies you your freedom, once again. For you lock yourself into an absolute expression, and you generate an expectation concerning that, and therefore you do not allow yourself the flexibility of change, which is your nature.
KEITH: It’s all pretty amazing stuff. I really appreciate you taking the time — I guess it’s not time to you; I don’t know what it is to you! — to talk to me. I just feel that you’re able to zero in on what’s going on and say some things that are very helpful.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I may also offer a suggestion to you that you may, if you are so choosing, incorporate some interaction or exchange with Michael, for he also has offered himself a tremendous expression of information concerning this particular subject matter of relationships.
KEITH: Would I find out who Michael is by reading other transcripts or...?
ELIAS: Michael is the individual that facilitates this energy exchange.
KEITH: Okay, got it. Well, I feel complete about what it was that I wanted to ask you and the sort of guidance that I was looking for, so maybe now would be a good time to end the session.
ELIAS: Very well. I shall be offering you encouraging energy, my friend. I am aware of the challenge that you are engaging presently. In this, accept my energy as my gift to be supportive in your movement, and know that I am always present and available. I shall be anticipating our next meeting.
KEITH: Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I express to you great affection. In fondness, au revoir.
KEITH: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 3:04 PM.
©2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.