Intermediates and Isolation
“Intermediates and Isolation”
“Loving the Unlovable”
Monday, November 18, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and a new participant, Bob (Jaffa)
Elias arrives at 12:38 PM. (Arrival time is 21 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
BOB: Good morning!
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Welcome!
BOB: Thank you.
ELIAS: How shall we proceed?
BOB: I’ve been reading some of the sessions on the website, and I’ve been doing a little bit of homework there. I think I’ll probably just start out with basic stuff. I’ve got a guess at my essence name; I know that’s kind of unorthodox to guess that. For some reason I get Verrick and I don’t know what that means. But am I right on that?
ELIAS: This in actuality is a focus name, which you may be easily accessing if you are so choosing.
BOB: What would be just the basic stuff like family, alignment and that kind of thing?
ELIAS: Essence name, Jaffa, J-A-F-F-A (YAWF faw). Essence family, Sumafi; alignment, Milumet.
BOB: Just what I thought! (Laughs) That’s funny!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! And your impression as to orientation?
BOB: I go back and forth on this because — that’s part of the things I want to talk about later — but I feel like I act like I’m intermediate and then I have issues with not interacting at the same time, emotional issues about that. So I’m not sure if I’m soft. I don’t feel like I’m common.
ELIAS: Intermediate, correct.
BOB: That kind of leads into some things. Eventually I’ll probably talk about relationship stuff if we get to that, but this thing that I’m having is... I really love the intermediate thing. I love studying and going off into arcane weird directions with a lot of things and I really get into stuff to the degree that it’s hard to contact those people that have been to the same places.
I’ve had periods in my life, one short period about two or three years, where I was very highly interactive socially, and I’ve never been able to get that back again. Right now I’m in a city where I didn’t grow up and I’ve got several really close friends, but I’ll have like whole days or weeks where I will not see anyone, no one will call, and it kind of bugs me. I’m just not sure if I just have to relax with myself being intermediate...?
ELIAS: Express to myself what disturbs you in association with that type of expression.
BOB: I think what it comes down to is I feel like I’m invisible.
ELIAS: Ah! I am understanding.
Now; let me express to you, incorporating the orientation of intermediate does not necessarily generate a movement of isolation. Contrary to the misunderstandings of many individuals in association with this particular orientation, individuals that incorporate this orientation in some manners may be more closely associated with the expressions of individuals that are common, not necessarily in association with their perceptions but in association with their actions. For individuals that are intermediate are interactive with other individuals and generally speaking do incorporate employment or what you term to be jobs in areas that may be viewed as a higher profile, so to speak — interactive with more individuals than some individuals of other orientations may be.
A misconception also of individuals that are intermediate is that they incorporate a tendency to be isolating of themselves and generating much time frameworks alone, which is incorrect. Individuals that incorporate the orientation of soft generate this action much more frequently than individuals of the common or the intermediate.
Now; being this orientation of intermediate and generating a type of isolation or extended time frameworks in which you incorporate an aloneness, it may be commonly recognized that you shall be experiencing a conflict or an uncomfortableness with that action.
Now; this is not to say that individuals that are intermediate are generally interactive with large groups of individuals, for generally speaking they are not, but the draw is to be interactive with some individuals for most of your time framework. But you also shall incorporate what may be recognized as almost an equal time framework in which you occupy yourself with yourself. Even if you are physically surrounding yourself with other individuals, your attention naturally moves in the direction of your individual world, so to speak, incorporating actions that you prefer or are comfortable with, and this may not necessarily involve other individuals.
Now; this statement of incorporating a feeling of invisibility is significant and worthy of your investigation within yourself, for this is an emotional communication. The feeling that you experience is your signal that is alerting you, so to speak, that you are providing yourself with a communication that you are not necessarily listening to. Are you understanding?
BOB: I believe so. In terms of being raised in our culture with my gender, a lot of times emotional things are not recognized. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have them. (Laughs)
BOB: But when they do come up, it’s sometimes overwhelming to deal with them. I’m not sure if I interpret them with thought or do I through my body? Just feeling those signals?
ELIAS: Let me express to you, as I have previously with other individuals, thought is a mechanism that translates communications. It is not a communication avenue in itself. But thought is also a mechanism of your objective reality that functions continuously in similar manner to your physical body functions.
Now; your attention moves and at times may be directed to thought, which as I have stated interprets or translates your communications. The difficulty that may be expressed in association with thought is that if your attention is not moving in association with your communications that you offer to yourself, the translation of thought may be lacking. It may not necessarily be entirely accurate. It may be generally accurate, but not necessarily specifically accurate.
I am also understanding of what you are expressing in association with emotional communications and not being familiar with an awareness of them until the point that they become quite noisy and incorporate an intensity. This may be associated not merely with gender but also with the focus type of an individual. Individuals incorporating a thought focus are less familiar with the action of moving their attention to emotional communications, and also in association with mass beliefs that express that emotion is not a communication but rather a response or a reaction, it is a common association with individuals that are thought focused to be attempting to ignore emotional communications.
Now; emotional communications are quite significant, and they are occurring much more frequently than you may objectively be aware of, for this is your subjective awareness’s most commonly incorporated avenue of communication. The subjective awareness incorporates this avenue of communication more so than any other avenue of communication that you may be expressing to yourself. Therefore it is quite an active channel, so to speak. But dependent upon your beliefs and your associations within your focus, you may or may not be allowing yourself to pay attention to those communications.
I express to all individuals that I am interactive with that this particular expression of communication is one of your most valuable, for it also is highly accurate. It offers you a precise, clear and accurate identification of what you are actually generating in the moment and what influences that expression, and in its efficiency, it generates signals to move your attention.
As I have stated previously, this particular avenue of communication may be viewed in an analogy of your telephone, for it rings and offers you a signal that suggests to you that there is a message. But if you are not receiving your telephone call and you are ignoring the ringing, you do not accept the message. Your emotional communications are quite similar.
Now; in relation to individuals such as yourself, the first step is to be paying attention and noticing when you are offering yourself a signal, which may incorporate some practice initially for it is an unfamiliar movement of attention. In this, one signal generally speaking shall be stronger than the other signals.
Generally speaking, you offer yourself more than one emotional signal within any particular time framework, but one shall appear to you to be stronger or louder than others. Once you become familiar with identifying the strongest signal, you may allow yourself to notice and pay attention and recognize other more subtle signals that are also occurring.
In recognizing the signal, you may move and direct your attention inwardly to evaluate what the message is that you are offering to yourself. This may be slightly more challenging, but with some practice you may recognize that it becomes easier to evaluate what you are actually communicating to yourself.
The snare is to hold your attention upon self and not be distracted with outside scenarios, for the automatic response is to be generating an association that whatever you are feeling is being caused by some scenario outside of yourself, and this is quite incorrect. No situation, no scenario, no individual may create your choices or your communications or any aspect of your reality. Therefore, whatever is generated within yourself is being created by you in relation to the influences of your beliefs and your associations with those beliefs as projected through your perception.
Therefore, if you are generating a communication to yourself which incorporates a distressing signal, generally speaking you may be assured that you are denying yourself some choice. It is not that some situation or scenario or another individual is generating an action that is creating the expression within you. It is that you are not allowing yourself your own freedom in association with your beliefs.
Now; in relation to this subject, offer an example of a signal that you may recognize, and we may explore that signal that you may incorporate a clearer understanding of the method of how you may be moving your attention.
BOB: One that I actually have noticed in the last several weeks is a feeling of guilt. It’s like I’ve done something bad and I’m going to get caught. (Laughs) But I can’t think of what ... I can’t put my finger on what it is that I’ve done or who would catch me.
ELIAS: Aha! Guilt is an interesting expression, for this is an extreme discounting of self. This signal is expressed in time frameworks in which the individual is tremendously discounting their worth and therefore denying the freedom of their expression. Guilt is an expression that is projected by an individual in moments in which the individual’s worth is questioned to such an extreme that the influence associated with the individual’s perception generates a projection of energy outwardly that does express a strength in duplicity in the wrongness of an individual.
This is an extreme expression of duplicity, expressing that there is a right action or a right manner of being and a wrong action and a wrong manner of being. As the individual experiences this feeling of guilt, what you are communicating to yourself is a message that in these moments you are tremendously discounting of yourself, you are generating an influence of many beliefs that are strongly attached with duplicity, and that your value is being tremendously questioned.
I may express to you, in these moments you are not incorporating an influence of merely one or two beliefs, but many. In this, many beliefs are being expressed together and intertwined with the expressions of duplicity. There is also a tremendous expression of comparison, which is one of duplicity’s favorite expressions, so to speak. (Laughs)
The belief system of duplicity generates quite a preference of comparison, for this generates tremendous judgment in what you term to be both directions of negative and positive. But both are equally as affecting, and where one is expressed the other is expressed also. In this physical dimension, you fascinate yourselves much more with the judgment of negative much more than you do with the judgment of positive. Therefore, you gravitate to that expression much more easily.
Now; in your impressions, what may you identify as an influencing belief that is affecting of your perception in association with this feeling of guilt that discounts your value and your worth to generate this extreme?
BOB: Interesting question ... I see what’s happening. Usually I’ve always had very happy relationships career-wise, always loved school, I always loved my job. I’m recently working in a more administrative position within the same job, and that’s where I see it happening more than anywhere else. I know that I’m capable and I’m doing the job well — the boss loves my work — but it’s a situation where I feel kind of like a fish out of water. Luckily I’m just in a temporary position and I’m planning on going back to the old job, but...
ELIAS: Therefore your movement into unfamiliarity generates a fear.
BOB: Very much so.
ELIAS: And that fear influences your perception and you generate a doubt of your ability to be accomplishing well enough in unfamiliar expressions and areas. You generate an automatic association that regardless of what you view of your successfulness or your adequateness in your accomplishment of your job, you continue to express a discounting of yourself in doubt of your ability, and therefore are expressing a lack of value and appreciation of your worth, which generates the signal of guilt. This may be also reinforced in certain time frameworks if you are not being interactive with other individuals and are expressing to yourself that you should be.
BOB: Exactly. I’ll pin myself behind the desk sometimes and avoid interacting with people on this side of the building entirely. On the other side of the building, that wasn’t a problem. In fact, it was probably a good thing. I could do my thing and everyone else was doing theirs, and things worked out pretty swimmingly.
ELIAS: Aha! (Chuckles) But my friend, you are directing of your choices and of your energy, and it is also a choice how you shall be projecting your energy and how you perceive yourself and other individuals surrounding you.
Now; recognize also, not in association with karma but quite in association with mass beliefs and the natural movement of energy within your physical reality, what you project outwardly is what you also shall reflect to yourself. For this is the efficiency of the design of your physical dimension, that you continuously reflect yourself to yourself through all of your objective imagery and all of your interactions with other individuals. You draw specific energies to yourself to generate that reflection.
Now; interestingly enough, you present to yourself a reflection in similar manner to many other individuals, which becomes confusing for you are generating two actions simultaneously. You are generating an action and DOING one expression, but you are also inwardly generating another action. Therefore outwardly, partially, in your objective imagery, you reflect to yourself through scenarios and through other individuals what you may term to be a positive reinforcement, an acknowledgment of your ability. But simultaneously, inwardly, you are generating another action and discounting of yourself, and you turn the reflection and generate a different association with that reflection in your perception to reinforce what you are generating inwardly.
What is meant by this is outwardly you project one type of energy and you reflect to yourself through the interactions with other individuals that you may be accomplishing and that your actions or your job, so to speak, is not being questioned, or your ability to accomplish your job is not being questioned. But inwardly you are questioning your ability, in association with your fear of unfamiliar actions.
Now; as you encounter other individuals that may be acknowledging of you and reflecting that expression to you objectively, you turn that expression in your perception and you incorporate that as a suspicion and as a manner in which you may reinforce how you are discounting of yourself inwardly, expressing to yourself underlyingly, “Ah, but this individual is unfamiliar with me. This individual does not know me, and therefore I am merely fooling this individual. They think I know what I am doing, and I do not.” This is what generates the guilt. As you expressed, you feel as though you shall be discovered but you know not what for.
For the feeling is being generated as the signal to turn your attention to the communication, that in actuality it is not the job that you shall be discovered for that you are incorporating incorrectly or inefficiently, but that the other individuals may discover your fear within yourself and your doubt of yourself, that you are unfamiliar with this action and perhaps you may not be incorporating it correctly if you continue in this unfamiliarity, and thus far you are merely incorporating luck.
Not so. You are incorporating your ability. But you are also confronting and addressing to a fear which is associated with unfamiliarity, which I may express to you, my friend, is quite associated with the movement of this shift in consciousness. Individuals are moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar.
BOB: Is it better just to accept your ability and trust in that?
ELIAS: Quite! And not discount yourself. Allow yourself to relax and not to judge yourself that you may be incorporating these beliefs or these influences or associations. They are real and they exist, and it matters not for you also incorporate choice. Therefore the mere acknowledgment of these beliefs, of these associations, and the incorporation of allowing yourself to relax and recognize that you also incorporate choice, you move yourself into a genuine expression of it matters not. (Pause)
BOB: I guess another question, and I think I’m expressing something different here. I’ve been working on it a lot, and I’m recognizing patterns in my relationships, where from childhood onward I’ve developed a caretaker role. I see the duplicity in that, because the partners that I’ve been generating have been getting more and more and more intensely scary. (Elias laughs) The last one is still not completely over it, highly co-dependent, in terms of my financing his home purchase right now. But it was worth it to move him 2000 miles away. (Elias laughs loudly)
But working with acceptance on that field, how do I go about that? I generally have always seen myself as a kid siding with the friendless kid on the playground, to the extent that I would have friends that would be more in the “popular crowd” and I would eschew that grouping to go with these people that nobody else was paying any attention to and really judging. I would try to love the unlovable.
ELIAS: Ah, the nobility of associating yourself with the underdog!
BOB: Exactly, and all the little ego strokes that come with that, too! (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Quite! Let me express to you what may be a significant aspect of information concerning this type of action and choice: you are not being helpful. In the actions of attempting to rescue, what you are actually generating is a projection of energy to another individual of discounting them and discounting yourself also.
In this, as you attempt to fix another individual, you are discounting of their ability and you reinforce the continuation of discounting their ability, and you also discount yourself. In this, what you express in energy — which I may express to you quite definitely is immediately received and understood — is that they are inefficient at creating their reality and that their choices are less than acceptable. In generating that energy to another individual, you also discount yourself. The manner in which you discount yourself is if you are attempting to be fixing or rescuing another individual, you express that you incorporate an ability to create their reality better than do they themselves.
Now; initially this may not necessarily appear to be a discounting of yourself, but in actuality it is. The responsiveness to that energy is the evidence of how it is discounting of yourself. For what you are expressing to yourself also is that you question YOUR abilities to be creating the type of reality that you want; therefore you shall interact with individuals that you view to be less efficient than yourself and therefore this offers you the justification to be expressing some association of worth with yourself, which is a significant discounting of yourself. For you do not need to be incorporating any other individual in association with your worth and your value. It is intrinsic to you.
BOB: How do I work going about changing this pattern?
ELIAS: In recognizing, first of all, that you are not being helpful to another individual. This initially may be the most significant expression to be noticing. For you are not being helpful to another individual, and are you actually being helpful to yourself in generating a scenario and an interaction which expresses need? No, you are not. For in actuality, within your physical dimension as essence there is NO expression that you actually need. You may THINK you need, but you actually do not. You incorporate the ability to express all within yourself.
Now; this is not to say that you may not incorporate a preference or a want to be sharing experiences and interactions and intimacy with other individuals, and this is quite natural. But this is a want and a preference; it is not a need. In this, I may express to you, my friend, you generate yourself nor other individuals any favors in attempting to be caring for or fixing or being helpful to in the manners that are familiar to you with another individual. It is genuinely a discounting of you both.
Now; what IS helpful and IS influencing in association with other individuals and with what you want is to be paying attention to you and allowing yourself the freedom to express yourself and what you want without limitation. In this, in the moments that you are thinking of a relationship with another individual, what is it that you think you want in the definition of a relationship?
BOB: In terms of the messy ones that I’ve created thus far or in terms of what I would like in future ones?
ELIAS: In terms of what you want or what you think you want.
BOB: Actually I see it more of a partnership of people, where experiences are shared by two whole individuals instead of ... I’ve never been one who believes in merging into one person, because I don’t think that that’s reasonable. But I tend to attract people that want to become whole by glomming onto me.
ELIAS: Correct, and you allow this. Therefore this is a reflection of your choices also.
Now; in recognizing that this is a reflection of your choices and your beliefs also, but the recognition of what you think you want — and partially this is accurate, but not specific — that you WANT to be incorporating a sharing and an intimacy with another individual in a relationship of equality, how do you view you shall accomplish that?
BOB: Well, I think the big thing is to become whole myself, and assuming that that becomes healthy, it’ll attract the same sort of energy.
ELIAS: Correct. Now how shall you accomplish that action?
BOB: That’s a good question. (Elias chuckles) That is THE question!
ELIAS: The manner in which you accomplish that is to be paying attention to you and familiarizing yourself with you and your expressions, recognizing what it is that you naturally generate in your expressions, what you naturally do, [and] what your preferences are in association with yourself, not in association with any other individual. For as you begin to become familiar with your own expressions and your own preferences, you also shall offer yourself information concerning certain expressions that you deny yourself and that you withhold from yourself in relation to fear of its acceptance from another individual. As you continue to become familiar with your expressions and what you want more and more specifically within yourself, what you want to be expressing outwardly, you may begin offering yourself permission to generate that.
Now; I shall offer you a suggestion, and if you are so choosing you may incorporate this suggestion or not. (Chuckles) I offer the suggestion to you that you may be allowing yourself to incorporate an interaction and sharing with Michael. For it is not an accident that I incorporate this energy exchange with Michael. As I have expressed previously, Michael is the objective example of this information that I offer to you and therefore is the focal point of this forum, for he incorporates the action of implementing this information. And in association with these subjects that you are expressing to myself, I have offered you information — which I am aware in this present now remains concept — Michael may offer you examples in physical application, which may offer you somewhat of a clearer understanding of how you may be accomplishing these actions.
BOB: Excellent. Well, I know that we’re getting close to time here, so do you have anything else that you want to say before closing up?
ELIAS: Be paying attention, my friend. Your greatest tool is noticing. I have been expressing this from the onset of this forum and shall continue to do so, for this is the most significant action that you may be incorporating in helpfulness to yourself and allowance of yourself to be moving in the direction that you want. For if you are not aware of what you are doing, you also shall not offer yourself an awareness of choices in how to move your attention and generate different choices to accomplish what you want.
Therefore, I express to you to be aware objectively and notice. Notice your communications; pay attention to what you are actually DOING. This is significant. It offers you a tremendous volume of information and may clarify the difference between what you are doing and what you are thinking. And remember that thought translates merely what you allow it to translate in association with your communications, and it translates merely what you pay attention to. In this, if your attention is not focused upon your communications, thought shall translate those communications in generalities and not specifics.
What you want in relationships, in your work environment, is to be freely expressive of yourself and offering yourself a genuine appreciation of your expressions and not limiting of yourself. In that offering to yourself of that type of freedom, my friend, you shall also allow yourself to draw to yourself other individuals that shall reflect the same, and this shall generate your complement.
BOB: Thank you.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be offering you encouragement and supportiveness.
BOB: Hey, thank you!
ELIAS: In this my friend, accept from myself my tremendous affection. In fondness, au revoir.
Elias departs at 1:38 PM.
©2005 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.