Not Enough Time
"Not Enough Time"
"Expectations, Outward Productivity, and Value"
Friday, July 5, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Bobbi (Jale)
Elias arrives at 2:15 PM. (Arrival time is 20 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
BOBBI: Good morning, Elias! Nice to speak to you!
ELIAS: (Laughs) And you also!
BOBBI: Thank you! (Elias chuckles)
I'm just going to start out talking to you about time, not having enough time. I was talking to Mary a little bit about that. Lately it seems like I am just really, really constrained in my time, not able to get done all that I would like to do or that I feel like I have to do or that I choose to do, even. I'm aware of a few things that are going on with that, how I'm creating that, but I would just like to get your comments about it.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) And is this not obvious to you, Jale, in what you are generating, and are you genuinely requiring the response from myself to be paying attention to you? Ha ha ha!
BOBBI: Well, no. No, and that's true, if I pay attention to me.
ELIAS: Or rather experiment with yourself in noticing how much of your time you are occupying in not paying attention to you. This may be quite enlightening in offering yourself information in relation to how you may be paying attention to you. For many times you are not recognizing that you are not paying attention to yourself, for you are not noticing where your attention is.
BOBBI: My attention is pretty scattered, it's true, lately. It's all over the place! (Elias laughs)
ELIAS: Now; in offering yourself a time framework in which you allow yourself to notice all of the time frameworks in which your attention is turned outside of yourself and you are concerning yourself with other individuals, or even with yourself but outside of yourself in relation to expectations that you place upon yourself concerning what you MUST do rather than what you want, you may recognize how you are occupying much of your time. This shall allow you a new recognition of how you may choose to incorporate the movements and the actions that you want, and you shall incorporate enough time.
BOBBI: (Sighs) It has been difficult balancing that. (Elias chuckles) I do let other people's expectations get to me quite a bit, and I'm attempting to work that all out - not successfully all the time.
ELIAS: Step through this one day, and express to me an account of this day from the moment of your awakening this day. What have been your activities?
BOBBI: I got up; I made coffee and some breakfast for my husband and made his lunch; I cleaned up the kitchen. Then he left for work and I came in to the computer and was working on transcripts this morning. Then I figured I had better get dressed because maybe the plumber was coming later after I spoke to you, so I got ready. I did play with the cat for a while and made the bed. My daughter got up, so I went out and I talked to her for a while, and then I came in and called Mary.
ELIAS: Now; in all of that time framework, did you allow yourself any moments, other than interacting with your feline, in which you were aware of what you wanted to express or do in the moment?
BOBBI: No. I would have to say I was pretty much on my usual automatic pilot throughout the morning. I have a certain schedule, a certain list of things that I accomplish during the day at a certain time.
ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, other than the moments in which you allowed yourself playfulness with your creature and your telephone call in association with Michael and myself, you have been unaware of what YOU want in the moment and are not paying attention to you and not paying attention to your choices and not paying attention to your communications in association with your choices.
This is an example of automatic responses, and automatic responses, as I have expressed many times, are precisely that, automatic, requiring no thought and no attention to self and what you are creating or how you are creating within your reality. Automatic responses are extremely limiting, and thusly you question at the end of your day, what has happened to all of your time? What have you allowed yourself to accomplish? What have you allowed as an offering of your own freedom to yourself? And the question lies in viewing all of the automatic responses that you generate throughout each of your days and how much of your time framework is incorporated in not paying attention.
You arise and you serve breakfast and coffee, which is an automatic response. Therefore, you are choosing an automatic response, which is limiting, and you are not familiarizing yourself with you. Do you want to be serving breakfast in this moment, and coffee? Or is there another action that you want to be incorporating in that moment? Do you want to be fluffing the bed, or do you want to be incorporating quietness? Do you want to be interactive with your daughter for one hour, or is your want a different action? And is the action motivated in association with a sense of obligation, right behavior, expectations, or is the action motivated through a genuine want?
BOBBI: A lot of the incidental choices that I make through the day I feel are based on some larger choices that I've made previously, as far as other things that I want to do. I choose not to have a regular office job. In that, I feel that there are things around the house then that I should be doing. I chose to do the transcripts, which I enjoy very much, but I do feel that since I chose to do that I should be doing it on a regular basis and accomplishing that. I've chosen, instead of having a job, to run my little part-time business, but in order to make that go I need to get into the kitchen and spend several hours a day making those horse treats. So I feel that I've made choices, but somehow those choices are sometimes restricting.
ELIAS: Listen to what you are expressing, for all of what you are expressing is associated with your beliefs concerning your choices and how your choices are associated with exchange in relation to other individuals and all of the "shoulds" that accompany that belief concerning exchange.
BOBBI: I know that's a big part of it. I know part of my excessive busyness and concern with objective output is a way to sort of justify my existence, I suppose.
BOBBI: "What is my output" is quite close to "what is my worth." I realize that is a belief that's going on. I haven't come to grips with it, obviously.
ELIAS: You are correct, for you are valuable and worthy merely for the reason that you are, and this needs not be justified in an expression of exchange. "If this individual, my partner, is incorporating employment and I am choosing not to be engaging that type of activity, as we are partners I must be offering an outward exchange to match energy to prove my worthiness."
BOBBI: Yeah, I have that belief! (Elias chuckles) And I guess he has that belief also, which is another motivating factor for me.
ELIAS: Ah! But the belief that he expresses is of no concern. I may not emphasize to you strongly enough the actual reality of the power of perception and how this actually physically alters reality, physical reality, even other individuals, for you are creating them. Therefore, it genuinely matters not what the other individual expresses as their beliefs, for in offering yourself freedom and an acceptance and trust of you and allowing yourself to freely express what you want without limitation, you alter your perception and therefore alter the response of the other individual. (Pause)
But this concept you do not quite incorporate into your beliefs yet! (Laughs)
BOBBI: Can you tell? (Laughs) Yeah, I know! (Elias laughs) I hear you, but I haven't gotten to that point of really putting it into action, I guess.
ELIAS: In your terms, as you do measure certain actions and certain choices as being larger or smaller, allow yourself to experiment. Incorporate one week of your time framework, and in that one week, in what you perceive to be small expressions, experiment and allow yourself the freedom to actually choose in a moment what you want and incorporate a different action.
BOBBI: For a whole week, huh? (Laughs)
ELIAS: Yes, and in this exercise you may allow yourself to objectively view how you alter your perception.
BOBBI: Okay, I will do it. (Elias chuckles) I'll give that a try.
Some of this - I didn't know if I was going to bring this up, but I was talking to Mary about it - has to do with my friend Diane, who I've spoken to you about, who is dealing with cancer. I told her at the beginning of her treatments and all of this about two years ago that I would help her with it in whatever way and be there for her, blah blah blah, and go through all this stuff.
Well, I'm finding that it is very wearing at this point. It's having an effect on me that I just don't like, so I've taken a couple weeks off from it. She has quite a bit more to go. I really don't care to do it, but I feel a very strong obligation towards her and a lot of guilt if I don't fulfill that. I know guilt is useless in energy and all that, but still it is there, and I'm having a hard time dealing with that.
ELIAS: Express to myself, Jale, what is your assessment and how do you define acceptance of a choice or acceptance of a belief?
BOBBI: That it simply is. That there is no right or wrong to it, that it simply is.
ELIAS: I am not speaking in concept; I am speaking concerning actual action and reality with you, individually. If you perceive yourself to accept a belief or a choice, how do you perceive that?
BOBBI: Well, I think that is a problem. Acceptance, as much as you have described it and talked about it, is still a very fuzzy concept for me, especially applied to definite physical objective situations.
ELIAS: If you accept, hypothetically, a belief in the moment, and you present yourself with another scenario weeks subsequent which is quite similar and the same belief is expressed again, what thinking are you thusly generating?
BOBBI: That it's the same belief and if I've accepted it, in your scenario, I don't have to worry about it any more. I don't have to think about it.
ELIAS: But it has arisen again. Now what shall your thinking be?
BOBBI: That I must not have accepted it, I guess! Or there's some aspect of it that's still...
Now; this is the confusion, for this is the snare of absolutes. You have presented yourself with a scenario in which you accept a choice or a belief in the moment and you generate that as an absolute. Therefore, if you have genuinely expressed that acceptance concerning a belief or a choice, that scenario shall not arise again, for you have accepted it and therefore it shall no longer be within your reality, for it has been accepted.
Now; in that association of absolutes, what you are expressing to yourself actually is that you have eliminated something, and this is the seat of the confusion, for acceptance is an action which is generated in the moment.
You are in a movement of continuous change, and in a state of continuous change, if you set an absolute in relation to acceptance, you deny yourself choice ever after, and this creates a domino effect, so to speak. For that expression of absolute touches and collides with many other expressions and beliefs and reinforces the attachment of duplicity in relation to all of your beliefs.
Once again, I express to you, duplicity is also a belief system. It is not being eliminated, but rather recognized and accepted. Within one moment, you accept a belief. Within one moment, you accept a choice. Within another moment, you may present yourself with a very similar choice or the same belief, and you present yourself with the opportunity to accept it again.
This is the expression of free will. This is your innate being of choice, and this is the manner in which you deny yourselves choice, for your attention is not in the now and upon self and recognition of your choices. Each moment is an opportunity to be accepted, and in that expression of acceptance, you free yourself to generate appreciation. Appreciation and acceptance are not the same expression, but you will not generate appreciation without acceptance.
Now; in association with your friend in this discussion, allow yourself to recognize, every moment is an opportunity for acceptance and every moment generates a choice. You are continuously changing. What may be held in acceptance in one moment may change, and therefore acceptance must be expressed in a different manner. Were this not to be, you would not incorporate choice. And you do incorporate choice, for choice is a truth.
In one moment, you may be in alignment with your value fulfillment and you may be generating no conflict and acceptance of beliefs and your choices, and in another moment you may present to yourself the same beliefs and the same choices or quite similar choices and not be accepting of them, and you shall know, for you shall generate conflict. This is not to say that you must be accepting them in the same manner that you accepted previously, for you change; therefore, your perception changes. Your reality changes. Your reality is not static. Therefore, what has been accepted in one manner in one moment may be accepted in another manner in another moment. (Pause)
The expression of acceptance is the recognition that there are no absolutes, that you incorporate beliefs, they exist, and you recognize and allow yourself the choice of your preference in the moment, knowing that your preference is not absolute, is not truth. It is your preference in association with your beliefs in acknowledgment of them in the moment.
This is what is meant, as I have expressed to you all previously, that you may be accepting of beliefs and also continue to express your individual opinions and preferences, which I am aware that as I have offered that information for the most part individuals either do not incorporate an understanding of that concept or do not hear it, period. For your automatic association is that you shall eliminate the one belief system of duplicity and therefore you shall allow yourselves the ability to accept all of the other belief systems.
No, you shall accept the belief system of duplicity, recognizing that you shall continue to express a good or bad in association with your reality, but knowing that that is your individual preference and opinion and that it is not truth and that it is not absolute, and therefore generate the acceptance of difference, recognizing that you choose your expressions and what you want and how you shall explore your reality in the manner in which you prefer, and that other individuals also generate the same. And in that expression, you each create differently.
Your friend has chosen to be creating a dis-ease and continues to choose to generate that dis-ease. You may not alter her choice. You are not responsible for her choices. You ARE responsible for your choices.
BOBBI: I guess my conflict is that I feel like I am responsible for what I expressed to her about being with her through all of this and being helpful.
BOBBI: As far as her choice of the illness, that's not really where my conflict lies.
ELIAS: But this is precisely what I am expressing to you. You have expressed your supportiveness to this individual and your want to continue, but the manner in which you outwardly express that supportiveness is changing, and this is acceptable. This is the point. This is not to say that you are not continuing to generate what you want in expressing a supportiveness to your friend, but that the manner in which you may choose to express that supportiveness may be different. This does not devalue the supportiveness.
BOBBI: It's not only supportiveness that she's looking for. She's looking for a ride and companionship during these treatments, and that would be her expectation of me.
ELIAS: Correct! And this is not what you expressed. You defined with myself your intention and you defined clearly to myself your want to be supportive to your friend throughout this time framework in which she is creating this dis-ease. It matters not what her expectations are. What is significant is that you allow yourself to pay attention to you. Recognize that you have incorporated a choice. You have clearly defined it within yourself of your intention and your movement to be supportive to your friend. You have translated that previously in physical interaction and in offering and participating in actual physical movements and engagements with this individual. Your expression of supportiveness is no less in choosing to alter HOW you express that and not necessarily incorporating physical interaction.
BOBBI: I will work on this. I'm going to have to think about this a little bit, I think.
ELIAS: Very well. You incorporate a strong association with outward productivity and yourself and your value.
BOBBI: That is true, and I guess there's some similarity there, like I feel I need to be doing something.
ELIAS: And if you want to be, you may, and you may choose. It is a matter of what is it that you want to be doing.
BOBBI: Which leads back to the beginning of our conversation about paying attention to myself in the moment.
ELIAS: Quite! It is a natural expression to be outwardly productive for you. This is a natural movement of your orientation. But this becomes confused in choosing WHAT you shall be outwardly producing or doing, and whether that production or outward expression is actually what you want or is what you expect yourself to create in association with what you perceive to be the expectations of other individuals.
In actuality, be remembering, all that you view of expectations of other individuals are also a reflection of your own expectations of yourself in association with your beliefs. If your friend expects you to be providing transportation, YOU are expecting yourself to provide that. And in reverse, in paying attention to yourself and not creating the expectation of providing transportation for this individual, you alter your perception and the other individual shall not be expressing the expectation.
BOBBI: I can see that most of this arose from what I think I should be doing or what I expect of myself. Oh dear! (Elias laughs) I guess I should get off my own back, huh? (Laughs and Elias laughs) All right, I will think about all of this and do my best to assimilate it into my real-life objective expressions over here.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Very well. Begin with what you perceive to be the small expressions. (Laughs)
BOBBI: Well, I have a couple of miscellaneous questions here if we could do those, if that's okay with you.
ELIAS: Very well.
BOBBI: A few focus-y questions. One time we talked just very briefly about a focus of mine, Michael Haydn, who has a brother Joseph. Am I directing essence or observing in that one?
BOBBI: Lynda/Ruther told me about a focus of mine she had identified, Franz Wegeler. He was a friend of Beethoven, and wrote a little book about him. Is that a directing essence as well? I mean, it's a similar time framework, same place.
BOBBI: I spoke to you a while ago about a Russian cosmonaut. I had gotten the first name correctly and you said to work on the last. I think I have that. I think his name was Vladimir Petrikov of Minsk.
BOBBI: Thanks, that was a dream impression.
I also have a question about if I have a focus as a German doctor to Queen Elizabeth I. His name was Doctor Burcot, and he treated her for smallpox.
ELIAS: Observing, yes.
BOBBI: I've been reading some biographies and stuff of that time, Queen Elizabeth and Henry the VIII, and I really related a lot to Catherine of Aragon. I don't think she was a focus of mine, though. First of all is that correct, she's not a focus of mine?
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
BOBBI: Her picture reminded me quite a bit of Sue, the essence of Catherine. (Elias nods in agreement) Is she a focus of Catherine?
BOBBI: I have a few impressions about Vicki/Lawrence. You had said last time we spoke that she was an attendant to Cleopatra, a very close attendant. At that time when we spoke, my impression was that she was one of the two attendants that committed suicide with her. Was she?
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
BOBBI: Was she Charmian?
BOBBI: That was the one who spoke the famous words about her.
Also as far as Lawrence goes, I've been thinking about the Native
American focus that we all seem to be involved in. Does she hold the focus of Crazy Horse?
BOBBI: Would that have been Mary? I was thinking of both of them in relation with that person.
ELIAS: Observing essence, yes.
BOBBI: (Sighs) Gosh, I've been all over the place here. (Pause) I don't know, I get so fuzzy when I talk to you, Elias! I don't know what it is! (Elias laughs with Bobbi) I'll attempt to refocus here for just the last few minutes.
I had some dream imagery - all I woke up with was the words "Ida Lupino, number 160." This has been really puzzling. I don't think she was a focus of my essence, but I'm just wondering what that meant. Was I observing essence of her?
ELIAS: Yes, and this number in linear time is the designation of that particular focus. Were you to be counting the focuses in linear time, in succession, this would be the number of that focus.
BOBBI: Oh, that's too funny! I've got them listed somewhere! (Elias laughs with Bobbi) That kills me! (Elias chuckles)
I had a real strong association with the name Mariamne for a little while. Do I hold a focus with that name?
BOBBI: In looking through that, would that be ... well, I'm not sure who that person is exactly. Does she have an association with the apostle Philip? There was a sister of Philip.
ELIAS: No. This is Ethiopian.
BOBBI: No kidding, interesting. So that probably was not the wife of Herod, either.
BOBBI: Sometimes these names and things just come on so strongly out of the blue, it's hard to associate them with anything.
ELIAS: (Laughs) This is your opportunity for playfulness.
BOBBI: I suppose so. Usually I go in a very objective way and get right on the internet and I'm looking, looking, like that. (Elias chuckles)
I have a bunch of impressions about other people. As far as Mrs. Hess, was that my father now?
BOBBI: So do I know the person now who was the directing essence? (Pause)
BOBBI: I'm just going to go ahead and ask, what the heck. I have an impression of the essence of Sandel holding the focus of Lucy Black Elk, the daughter of Black Elk.
BOBBI: I also had an impression that perhaps the essence of Colleen held the focus of Julius Caesar.
ELIAS: One of. (Laughs)
BOBBI: "One of"? What do you mean?
ELIAS: Not the most famous Julius Caesar. (Chuckles)
BOBBI: Really! There was more than one?
BOBBI: Well, I was thinking of the famous one, actually. (Both laugh) So not that one.
ELIAS: And I may be assured that Colleen would also be in agreement with that! (Laughs)
BOBBI: The essence of Jene, was she my sister with the name Allison in a New England focus in the 1800s?
BOBBI: Is that the focus where I was a schoolmate of Emily Dickinson?
BOBBI: Cool! I was right on that one, anyway! (Elias laughs)
I have one Game impression to close this all off with.
ELIAS: Very well.
BOBBI: I would like to connect the movie "Groundhog Day" with Sumafi.
ELIAS: One point.
BOBBI: Thanks! (Elias laughs)
All right! Thank you very much. I've got a bunch more stuff here, but we'll hold that for another day.
ELIAS: Very well, my friend. (Chuckles) And you are becoming quite the scribe, are you not?
BOBBI: (Laughs) Yes, I certainly am, and I am enjoying it very much. (Elias laughs) If you have any comments in that area, please feel free!
ELIAS: Merely to be allowing yourself to relax and generate an openness in association with my energy, and this shall allow a freer interaction between yourself and myself in your transcribing. (Chuckles)
BOBBI: I will do my best to go about that.
ELIAS: Very well.
BOBBI: Are there any specifics you could tell me about how to do that?
ELIAS: Trust yourself, Jale, for at times you are generating an openness, but you also discount yourself and dismiss energy expressions which you translate into impressions. Therefore, merely allow yourself to relax, and this shall be sufficient. (Chuckles)
BOBBI: Thank you very much, my friend.
ELIAS: I express to you as always my continued affection and my great encouragement of you. Pay attention to you! I shall be anticipating our next meeting. To you, my friend, au revoir.
Elias departs at 3:17 PM.
©2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.