Session 1096

Fear of the Power of your own Energy


"Fear of the Power of your own Energy"
"This Now Is Totally Acceptable"

Thursday, May 30, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and KC (Nanaiis)
Elias arrives at 2:17 pm. (Arrival time is 28 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good day!

KC: Good day, Elias! How are you? (Laughs)

ELIAS: As always, and yourself?

KC: I am as always also, thank you very much!

ELIAS: Very well!

KC: Now, I feel a little bit even less prepared than I did for the last one, in which I didn't have any questions! (Elias chuckles) But I did, when I scheduled the appointment, I was having some imagery with one of my cats and that's why I scheduled the appointment. So I would like to talk about that, but I'm also interested suddenly in how many focuses I have in this dimension. I have one impression, and then I have two other numbers which I think are influenced by my religious beliefs. But my first impression that came to me when I asked myself that question was 1961.

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: Is that correct?!


KC: Oh my word! Then I didn't like that number, so I changed it, but those were based on my religious belief systems and the belief in less than and more than. (Both laugh) Because I wanted 3001 sessions, I mean focuses! (Laughing) Okay! Oh my goodness! And am I a final focus? I think I am.


KC: Did I go into transition, did I choose to engage transition, in either 1971 or 1989?

ELIAS: Eighty-nine.

KC: I wondered if I could ask a very, very quick question for Bridgy - she doesn't speak English - and she wanted to know her focus and orientation. She fragmented and her new essence name is Thelma, and she doesn't have the orientation and focus information for that fragmentation. (16-second pause)

ELIAS: They are the same.

KC: Are they common and emotional?


KC: Am I exploring color in another dimension with you?


KC: I thought so! I saw a blue display last night. I was actually looking for something that would be imagery of you because we were going to speak today, and I know that a lot of people do that right before they have an objective session with you. I saw a beautiful blue display behind my eyes, my closed eyes, and I wondered if that was your energy. I think it was.


KC: Aha! I'm trying to pay attention! (Both laugh)

I also would like to ask you about - I think this will be a short answer - I've experienced these what I call vibrations since 1995, so about seven years. I thought it was my son's fish tank, and then I thought it was the expressway, and then I began to believe that it was coming from inside of me. It feels like mild electricity and it's almost audible, but I feel it really through my skin. I haven't been able to understand what that is and I wondered if you could help me do that.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) It is an expression of a combination of your energy and my energy.

KC: I thought so, today! That was my impression! Oh, that's fantastic! Elias, I'm beginning to feel the grand conference going on underneath all of this in the now! (Elias laughs) When I first talked to you I said to you I'm so glad you and Mary decided to do this, and immediately I knew there was a lot more to it than that! (Elias chuckles) It's ALL of us, isn't it?


KC: Oh! This is gonna be so FUN!

The last time we talked, the energy exchange seemed different. I was all bubbly and excited because I had accomplished certain things that I was desiring, the "it matters not" and inserting that into my reality, and paying attention and understanding things more and more. It felt during that conversation that I had to reach out farther for this energy exchange, and that was one of my impressions. But another impression, since I felt like you were farther away and that I felt so good, I felt my beliefs coming out that I hold a belief that being too happy is risky.

ELIAS: Ah! (Chuckles) Partially. But also partially generating that excitement and wanting to continue in that expression of excitement and not interrupt that excitement, and therefore holding my energy at bay. This is the expression of the riskiness of being too happy or too excited, that it may be interrupted and therefore move away.

KC: Oh, that's different.

Now, I think I have a - I'm going to save my cat thing for last - I think that I have gotten a pretty good impression about why - not why ... why's all right - why I'm creating headaches in the morning. I've been wanting to know why I wake up with a headache, and so that question has been presented. The other morning, or the other night, I was upset about my cat, I believe. I was upset, and so when I went to bed and I closed my eyes, I saw all these whirls of energy that are my essence playing with me, all these swirls of colors behind my eyes and I felt so good. I went to sleep and I woke up in the morning and I felt that I had been just infused all night long with energy, essence energy, just infused, infused, infused, and I created a headache as my way of responding to that or acknowledging it or assimilating it. Is that correct?


KC: Oh, good! Now I have a real brief question about my cousin Bobbi. She's one of my very, very best favorite people, and I would like to know her essence families and her essence name.

ELIAS: And your impression?

KC: Oh my word, I didn't write it down, but I believe there's Borledim in her and Zuli.

ELIAS: Reverse.

KC: Reverse - Zuli/Borledim! And is she soft?


KC: She is not emotionally focused. I don't know which one to pick. It's not thought either, I don't think.

ELIAS: Political

KC: Political! She's a fascinating person, is she not? (Laughs)

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! As are you all!

KC: And her essence name, do I have to give you my impression of that, too?


KC: No, good!

ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha! Essence name, Tiva, T-I-V-A (TEE vah).

KC: She's been a very, very old friend of mine for a long time through many, many dimensions, I think! (Elias laughs)

Okay, let us talk about my cat. Now, the last time that we talked I was very excited and very proud of myself, and understood acknowledging self because of the no separation and when you acknowledge self you acknowledge everything. Then I had this little fear that later came into my mind about being too happy and being careful of being too happy, and Jim/Yarr's session came out about being afraid that you might not be able to maintain accomplishing within the shift, which is my desire. So, suddenly my cat began to have seizures. I even mentioned in our session last time about going around in circles and alternating between four calm days and four intense days and going in circles, and so my cat begins to have seizures in which he is going in circles.

So this scares me, so fear then I decided was a signal and that he was mirroring me. What I tried to do was remove my attention from the cat, so to speak, and just go close my eyes and go inside of myself and relax and breathe. That's all I could think of to do at the moment when he was having the seizures, and he would actually calm down and stop, and I thought aha!

I began to go inside of myself about this fear, what am I afraid of. Basically it's the unfamiliarity that you talk about, the unfamiliarity of this dimension, and from this dimension the newness and strangeness of essence, and so it's going both ways. Occasionally I have felt in this dimension, I look out in it and it's like totally new, and what am I doing here and how did I get here and what is this? So this dimension seems unfamiliar. I tried to look at that fear a little bit. I don't feel it right now because it's not in my now, but I have the feeling that I will be addressing to this issue again.

So I decided that I was going to put the cat to sleep because the seizures got very intense. I didn't have a problem with putting the cat to sleep and my husband did, and so I voiced some of my beliefs out loud, which was fascinating! Because I had a belief that when I take this particular cat to the doctor, he comes back a different cat! I didn't even know I held that belief until I said it out loud, and as soon as I did I must have accepted it, because it didn't bother me anymore.

We took the cat to the vet and then we took him to the hospital and he stopped having the seizures. I brought him home and he didn't have any seizures for a week and he got back into his little happy self. About a week later he had seizures all day long until they got very bad, and I called my husband and I said, "I'm going to take Tippity up and have him put to sleep." So we did, we did do that.

I came home and I thought oh my goodness, I've killed my mirror - now what am I gonna do? (Both laugh) This isn't funny! Oh, I shouldn't laugh, but that's what I thought! I know the cat chose to disengage; I don't have a problem with that. I think what I'm confused about is how much was this mirroring me and how much was this simply the cat's choice to disengage? Because I do have a desire, I do have a want that I know about that I would have fewer pets and that when these pets disengage then I will not be replacing them. So I'm thinking that that was also a cooperation on his part, that that was my permission, to say to him, "It's okay if you want to disengage; I'm going to have fewer pets anyway." He was my favorite, so to me it made sense that he would be most in cooperation with me.

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: Could you comment on the fear issue?

ELIAS: In relation to your movement and the unfamiliarity of your shifting?

KC: Yes.

ELIAS: I may validate your impressions as quite correct, and in this, there is an aspect of fear that is being generated within you in that unfamiliarity, in an unsurety.

Now; this is associated with the power of your own energy. I may express to you, this is temporary. It is also quite commonly expressed within individuals as you widen your awareness, and you begin to offer yourself permission to be appreciative of yourself, and you allow yourself the freedom to express yourself and what you want, and you begin to allow yourself to generate that type of movement in trust of yourself.

You also begin to allow yourself to view the tremendous power that you incorporate as essence, and initially this generates an expression of fearfulness within individuals, for most individuals do generate fear in relation to power. View your responsiveness in fear to power expressed in energy, in what you term to be natural phenomenon within your environment. A thunderstorm, a tornado, a hurricane, a tsunami, an earthquake - these are expressions of energy which incorporate tremendous power that you view as natural phenomenon; but the recognition of the power of energy that is expressed generates fear, for you view this to incorporate the potential to be hurtful to you.

The reason that you view this in your perception to be potentially hurtful to you is that you do not recognize your creation of your reality in your choices. Therefore in viewing the power of your own energy, you respond quite similarly with an expression of fear, for it is unfamiliar and you know not what to generate in expectation. Expectation is quite a familiar association within your physical dimension.

KC: Well, I will tell you something that I've been doing. I haven't been doing that much lately, but I've been beginning to do it again because it was very helpful to me. When I first started reading the Seth sessions and then your sessions, it gets very confusing. You try to stay in the now and all of your power is in the now, and you want to accept yourself and you want to trust yourself and you want to do all of these things that are suggested in the sessions. You want to be, in fact, different than you are now!

Suddenly it dawned on me that you keep saying that we cannot become more acceptable. So, I immediately stopped trying to change anything, stopped trying to look to the future. When I would say to myself, well, I don't know if I'm in the now, and then I would say, that's acceptable. So I don't know if I'm in the now - that's fine! Then I would create various experiences, say fear, say heartbreak, say even joy. These are all acceptable. This now is totally acceptable without any expectations of it, or without changing it or without any hopes for the future, without any shift, without anything!

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: This now is totally completely as acceptable as it can possibly get.

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: That exercise that I did religiously for about a week really helped me to relax, to just relax, to stop trying, to stop thinking I was less than and I could be more than. When I get into this fear business again I remembered to do that. That, I think, is what has gotten me into this calm spot this week.

ELIAS: Which I am understanding. In this, you offer inquiry to myself and I offer response, not necessarily that you may change the expression but merely offering yourself information in relation to what generates the expression.

KC: Could we talk about my religious belief systems? I had a question that I was going to ask you, and I don't know if it's even a relevant question, but I was going to ask you if you could tell me simply what is my most hidden belief that I hide from myself? (Pause)

ELIAS: I may express to you, this question is actually not as black and white and absolute as you think, for I shall express to you first of all, every individual incorporates all beliefs. This is not to say that they express all beliefs, but you do hold all of the beliefs.

In this, your association with beliefs changes within different time frameworks. Not that the beliefs change, for they do not; but your engagement of them changes, for you are continuously changing, altering your perception, altering your directions, addressing to different expressions or associations. Therefore, there is no one most influencing underlying belief which may be viewed as a constant.

Let me also express to you, my friend, this is a key in association with acceptance of beliefs and the importance of holding your attention in the now in each moment, and genuinely recognizing that each moment is an outcome, and allowing yourself to assimilate the information in which you shall allow yourself a genuine reality of acceptance. For just as your association with beliefs is continuously changing, dependent upon the direction that you engage and the choices that you incorporate the perception is continuously changing; and as perception continuously changes, the association of beliefs change. Therefore, the action of acceptance is a continuous movement, a continuously expressed action.

What I am saying to you is that you may generate an association with certain beliefs in one time framework and you may allow yourself a genuine expression of acceptance of those beliefs or of any particular belief in a particular moment, and within another moment and another experience your perception has altered. Therefore the association of the belief has altered and therefore there is the presentment again to be accepting of the same belief. It is not an action of accepting a belief as a fixed, solid, ever-after accomplishment, but rather a continuous action of acceptance in each moment.

KC: I think that I have explored that issue with the tree. I did read that before in one of the sessions, just like disease is not something you create that continues...

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: ...and anything else is the same. You create it in each moment.

ELIAS: This is the reason that your exercise is allowing you the recognition of your accomplishment, for you are moving your attention to the now and allowing yourself the opportunity to be accepting in the now.

KC: In each now.

ELIAS: Correct. For were you not to be engaging this type of acceptance, and generating the idea or the association that once a belief is accepted within one moment, you deny yourself choice ever after.

KC: That's very true, isn't it? I haven't even thought of that!

ELIAS: For your perception is continuously altering in each moment that you do express an acceptance. Therefore, in another time framework as you present yourself with the influence of the same belief, perhaps in an expression of a different angle, you deny yourself the choice of accepting that belief, for you have created an absolute in which the belief has already been accepted; but now the perception is altered, it's different, and therefore the influence of the belief is different.

KC: The interesting thing to me about the tree is once I understood that my choices with regard to the tree were merely choices and that each choice was a function of the same mechanism of perception, I even considered altering my choice! For instance, I have chosen to continue my energy exchange with my tree in the form that it exists now in this dimension. When I could see that that was merely a choice, I thought oh, well, let's examine the other choices and see if we prefer a different one.

So I looked at some of the other choices that I could recognize, for instance that the tree would disengage this dimension and I have still chosen to keep the tree as it is. But...

I've lost my train of thought. The choices, Elias, is this correct?

When the tree mattered not, this color wheel of choices opened up. (Elias nods in agreement) In this color wheel of choices were certain choices that I recognized, and certain other choices that I know are there but I do not understand them. There are choices that I'm not seeing. I don't need to see them, but I just need your confirmation that there are choices that I can't even imagine right now about that tree.

ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.

KC: Because in the color wheel, only some color wheels are say, in my terms, written in English that I can understand, and the other ones are written in a different language that I cannot understand yet.

ELIAS: Correct, but this is not to say that they do not exist.

KC: Yes, and I actually have the ability to incorporate those choices, but I haven't engaged that yet.

ELIAS: Correct. Each moment allows you the opportunity for different choices.

KC: Yes! Well, this tree is the most fascinating project I have ever engaged! (Elias laughs) Just like you said it would be! (Both laugh) Elias, may I acknowledge you?

ELIAS: You may!

KC: I acknowledge you because ... just because you are, and you help me to understand that I am! Thank you.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. (Both laugh) This is the offering to yourself of a genuine new experience of appreciation of yourself and the wonderment of your manifestation.

KC: Yes! Because about two weeks ago... Remember when we were talking one time and I forgot to look at the clock, and I asked you if you knew what time it was and you told me what time it was and I gave you a point? (Both laugh) I thought that was so amazing! I have felt so proud of you ever since, and I thought, you know, that's a signal. I'm creating something. That's a signal. What am I creating? I feel proud of Elias, and I thought I must feel proud of myself!

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: And to think that was true! I tried to imagine when I was little that nothing existed and what would it be like if nothing at all existed, nothing, not blackness, not even silence, and I couldn't imagine it! But what happened was I still existed - I could imagine nothing but me. I could imagine myself full of blackness and silence, becoming bigger and bigger and bigger, full of blackness and silence and full of nothing that wasn't nothing! It was so beautiful! (Elias laughs) And I don't know what that's all about! But it had something to do with me being proud of you! (Laughs)

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! And perhaps you may offer your analogy to Michael, for he may be incorporating an objective understanding of your experience in association with his experience in this phenomenon.

KC: Oh, I shall do that! Michael can talk your arm off! (Both laugh)

Oh lord, let me ask, I have concluded ... oh, I have NOT concluded! I see on my list I want to ask you... I don't know what my question is. I guess this seems like one of the expressions of lunacy things. I know it isn't, but I just think I want to tell you the story of my little demon. I think it is an Ilda thing that goes with my family, and also it's a projection of my perception.

The story goes like this. A long time ago I was reading Seth, and Seth said when you run into a demon it could be you. It could be something that you are pushing away from yourself, part of you that you're fighting with. That's just a little background. So one night it was hot and I had the windows open. I wanted to go to bed, and it was going to rain. My husband David was watching television and I didn't want him to be hot, so I left the windows open. I told him to close the windows when he went to bed, and I went to bed.

On my way to bed I thought to myself, he didn't hear a word I said, he's not gonna close the windows, I'm gonna have to get up, it's gonna rain in. So I'm already angry, setting up my expectations and creating my reality perfectly, and I go to bed on that angry note.

And sure enough, in the middle of night it starts to thunder and lightning. I leap out of bed, knowing I have to go downstairs and close the windows, and so I go downstairs. The windows are metal and it's lightning, and I'm thinking I'm gonna be electrocuted because of my silly husband - he can't do anything. Immediately behind me I felt two red eyes looking out of the fireplace at my back. So I'm thinking oh dear, I'm going to ignore this and just close the windows. There really can't be two red eyes looking out at me out of the fireplace, and even if there is, I'm not afraid of it and so on. It is kind of funny now, but it wasn't funny then. It was very real. I turned around and sure enough there were two red eyes in the fireplace.

So I walked past that fireplace and I walked out of the room and down the hall, and I could hear and feel this little kitty-scaly-demon with horns and red eyes creeping out of the fireplace and coming to get me. I'm terrified, and I'm praying oh god, help me! I'm going to have to kill it or it's going to kill me.

It came into the room and it had a look on its face that I cannot even describe. It was a yearning for me; it was a "please don't kill me, I am you," kind of look on its face. I suddenly remembered what Seth said, and I knew that this was my guilt over being angry with my husband. This was my projection of guilt and I was perceiving it. I gathered it up into my arms and I told it not to worry, that I wasn't going to kill it and that it could just live with me happily ever after, and it did, and it melted into me.

Ever since then I have kept this little kitty-demon of guilt on my left shoulder. Whenever I feel guilty I look over and I see if I really feel guilty, and he's usually sitting there with his paws up and his tongue hanging out saying yes or no. Later on I decided to make a little worry dragon that I keep on my right shoulder. Just two weeks ago I created what I call a fear dog, and it sits on top of my head. I literally do check with these little projections of my perception now and then. My worry dragon is always sound asleep. My guilt demon is usually pretty comfortable too. My fear dog usually has his hair standing on end and he's afraid.

Now, is this an Ilda thing?

ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha! You have created quite a menagerie, have you not?

KC: I'm thinking that's a religion when it incorporates these creatures all over your body - I don't know! (Both laugh)

ELIAS: I may express to you, yes, this is influenced by the qualities of the Ilda expression, so to speak, but it is also your individual incorporation of that in your creative expression.

KC: Well, it's really fun! (Both laugh) It is! You know, I had trepidations about even telling you the story, but the session won't be out for a year, so! (Laughing) Oh lord, it was so helpful when you said that one of our biggest problems was going to be our concern over what other people think of us.

ELIAS: Quite!

KC: Yes, a lot of times when I'm writing down my questions that's on my mind, what will people think of this question?

ELIAS: And once again incorporating your small dog with its hair standing upon end! Ha ha ha ha!

KC: (Laughing) Yes, it is! But that's my way of accepting it. That's my way of accepting my fear and not pushing it away.

ELIAS: And I may express to you an acknowledgment, my friend, for you have allowed yourself to develop a method which allows you to accomplish. And as I have stated many times, the method is unimportant. It matters not; you may choose ANY method. What holds significance is that the method allows you to accomplish, and yours is.

KC: And it incorporates fun and playfulness, which I must tell you, it's been a rather difficult thing for me to always do. I know that the feeling that you get when you're having fun makes everything easier, and that's what I want to do, make everything easier.

ELIAS: Correct.

KC: So that's a fun thing, my little menagerie. (Elias laughs) We just have about ten minutes left. Aren't you proud of me, I've been keeping my eye on the clock every time now! (Elias laughs)

What I would like to ask you is about some other people. I would like to know if Charles, whose essence name I think so far is Jerrica, is soft and emotionally focused. (Pause)


KC: Oh, I have to tell you before I forget, Ricarro says to you, "Greetings, Elias!"

ELIAS: And you may offer my greetings also.

KC: I will. And for Bridgy, if I had any time left, I would ask these questions for her. Is she in transition?


KC: And is she a final focus?


KC: How many focuses does she have in this dimension? (Pause)

ELIAS: Eight hundred twenty-eight.

KC: How many in this time frame?

ELIAS: Five.

KC: How many after the completed shift? (Pause)

ELIAS: Presently, 209.

KC: Wow! How many do I have after the completed shift? (Pause)

ELIAS: Three hundred sixteen.

KC: I knew that I had at least one! (Both laugh) All I needed was one, because I KNOW something about the completed shift. I feel that I get information from that me that lives within this completed shift.

ELIAS: Yes, you are correct, as do many individuals.

KC: Let's see, is John Lennon a focus of Thelma?


KC: Is her signature color violet-red, and her focus color yellow-green?


KC: Well, Elias, I'm very satisfied. I think that we should talk to Mary now, and I will talk to you soon.

ELIAS: Very well! I anticipate our next meeting, my friend, and we shall continue to be playful.

KC: Okay! (Both laugh) Thank you, Elias.

ELIAS: And you may offer my greetings to your menagerie also.

KC: Oh, indeed, they will be very grateful to say hello to you!

ELIAS: Very well. To you, my dear friend, in tremendous affection as always. Au revoir.

KC: Yes, as always, Elias, thank you. Au revoir.

Elias departs at 3:03 PM.

©2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.