Thursday, May 23, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and a new participant, Katya
Elias arrives at 1:13 PM. (Arrival time is 21 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
KATYA: Good morning.
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Welcome!
KATYA: Thank you.
ELIAS: And how shall we proceed?
KATYA: I have specific questions. I’m 30 now, and ever since I left my parents at 18, I have always created my financial circumstances to be rather dire or always one step away from sleeping in my car or living on the street, or at least that’s how I made sure it always felt, even when I made pretty good money. So, I’m starting to realize that I’m creating this, and mostly I want to stop. I want to know how, why, information so that I can stop doing that.
I’m naturally, I think, a happy person, but especially lately I’ve been so worried, thinking I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. If you could tell me what beliefs are creating it or really how I can stop doing that?
ELIAS: First of all express to myself, what do you view in what you are creating and how you generate this type of situation?
KATYA: I’m not sure, is that a question?
ELIAS: Yes.
KATYA: How do I create it? Well, I just feel like there’s not enough money and I can never buy anything. Basically, I can’t buy clothes because I either have debt and I shouldn’t be doing it, or it just isn’t right. At the moment, I’m not sure what kind of a job to get, how to earn money, or that anyone would give me a job even though I have college education.
ELIAS: Very well.
Now; what do you assess within yourself that you continue to deny yourself?
KATYA: I’m not sure. I think... I don’t know.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend, within your energy expression, I may say to you that you are discounting of yourself and not allowing yourself to generate what you want for you do not trust your ability to actually create what you want.
Now; in this, you also express an influence of a belief that if you are expressing suffering, you shall be perceived by other individuals in a specific manner; but you also project your attention outwardly to an extent in which you do not allow yourself your own choices.
Now; I may express to you that this type of manifestation is quite common. Individuals are quite unfamiliar with paying attention to themselves, listening to their own communications. Even within the moments that they may allow themselves to be paying attention, the influence of the beliefs that individuals incorporate generates restrictions in which you do not allow yourselves to actually create what you want. Also, thus far, the concept of creating all of your reality and choosing those creations is not yet actually a reality, for there continues to be influences of beliefs that suggest to you that you are not creating all of your reality, that in some situations other individuals or circumstances create your reality and you are not choosing this.
I may express to you, the first step in offering yourself freedom is to be genuinely recognizing that you literally do create all of your expressions, all of your situations, all of your reality. In this, you also generate choices. Many times the choices that you generate are automatic responses and therefore are quite limited, for you are not paying attention to you.
Now; there are many beliefs that are influencing of what you have created. One concerns the belief that you acquire finances from other individuals, that you do not generate this yourself or create this yourself, but that you acquire it from other individuals. Another concerns worthiness and the value of yourself; another concerns your actual abilities to generate what you want. You also incorporate beliefs in association with what is acceptable and what is better. I may also express to you, within all of these beliefs the intertwinement of expressions of duplicity is quite strong, and in this, you do not offer yourself permission to choose and therefore you become a victim to yourself.
Now; the manner in which you may begin to allow yourself the freedom to generate what you want is to allow yourself the recognition that you do incorporate choice.
KATYA: But I think I do that... I’m not sure how.
ELIAS: At times, yes. But many times no, for you allow other individuals and situations to dictate your choices for you, rather than directing of yourself.
Choose any example of a situation in which you assess that you are not generating enough money. Offer to myself any example, and we shall examine it together.
KATYA: Well, it’s more like looking over a whole span of my grown-up life. First, I was going to college but I wasn’t making any money. Then when I graduated from college and started making very nice money, I had a husband who spent it all and put us into debt. So again, even though I was generating income, I was constantly feeling that I had no right to be spending any money because we had to pay off the debt first. Then I left my husband, and then I couldn’t spend any money because I had to pay off my debt.
Now I don’t have a job and I don’t want to be an engineer anymore, and for the life of me I can’t think of what I want to do instead. I don’t feel like I’m good at anything. I’m thinking right now of getting into real estate sales, but I’m thinking this is going to be a complete failure because I can’t imagine selling anything, and why would anybody want to give me money anyway?
ELIAS: Ah, and are you listening to what you are expressing?
KATYA: When I hear that I think, okay but how do I change it?
ELIAS: By listening to you and recognizing how often you discount yourself.
Now; I shall offer you an exercise, which I shall suggest to you that you allow yourself to incorporate this exercise each of your days for a time framework of one week, consistently. Each time you discount yourself in ANY manner, note it. Incorporate writing of each time you discount yourself and your abilities.
This exercise is quite purposeful, for it offers you the opportunity to actually notice and recognize how often you deny your choices through the action of discounting of yourself. I may express to you, in the incorporation of this exercise you shall begin to notice that this is unnecessary to be discounting of yourself, and you shall also automatically begin to open an avenue within yourself to listen to yourself and view more of your choices.
Now; this does require you to pay attention in the now to yourself and what you are expressing and what you are generating, what you are doing. In this, you may also allow yourself to begin to view how often you deny your choices in relation to the choices of other individuals. Other individuals do not create your reality, and they do not generate your choices. You may limit your choices in relation to the expressions of other individuals, but you create this for it has become very familiar. In this, you have become so very familiar with this role of being a victim that you are not even noticing that this is what you are creating. Therefore, this exercise shall be quite beneficial, if you choose to be engaging it.
Once you recognize that you are generating this type of expression - discounting of yourself, projecting your attention outwardly, and generating this role of a victim - this generates a tremendous opportunity, my friend. For how may you cease the expression of being a victim if you are not recognizing that you are generating it? Once you recognize this, you may offer yourself choices and therefore generate new freedom.
Do not concern yourself with the expectations of other individuals or establishments. Allow yourself to pay attention to what YOU are expressing inwardly and listen to yourself. Allow yourself to discover your preferences. Regardless of whether you assess that your preferences may generate income or not, merely allow yourself to familiarize you with you. For I may express to you quite genuinely, you may generate finances in association with ANY of your preferences. It matters not what they are.
It is quite interesting that within your societies and your reality in this time framework, so very many individuals hold the belief that money is so very difficult to generate. I may express to you, this physical manifestation is not a difficult manifestation to create. It is the acceptance of your ability that presents the tremendous challenge. (Pause)
You do not allow yourself what you want, for another individual has created debt and therefore you assume personal responsibility for the choices of another individual and deny yourself your choices.
You do not allow yourself the freedom to create what you want, for you project your attention outwardly to the expectations of establishments within your society and succumb to the demands that you perceive of these establishments.
You consistently deny your choices in projecting your attention outwardly to the choices and expectations of other individuals. In continuing to generate that action, my friend, how may you listen to what you want or what you are expressing to yourself in your communications to yourself?
KATYA: You’re talking and I’m thinking, but I don’t even know what I want or what I am telling myself. I have no idea! (Laughs)
ELIAS: Quite, for how may you identify what you want if you are not listening to yourself? If you are not paying attention to yourself, how may you hear your communications and objectively offer yourself information concerning what you want?
This is the point, to be paying attention to you, to quiet yourself, to allow yourself not to concern yourself with outside expressions, and allow yourself the freedom to listen to you and therefore to direct you.
KATYA: How do I do that?
ELIAS: You begin now.
KATYA: I don’t think I hear anything from me.
ELIAS: You begin now in merely beginning to pay attention to what is occurring now, what is actually being generated now, and paying attention. Respond to myself: what is actually occurring now?
KATYA: I don’t think I know what you mean. I can look around the room or inside myself, see how I feel.
ELIAS: Very well, and what are you generating now?
KATYA: I still don’t quite understand "what am I generating now?"
ELIAS: What are you DOING now?
KATYA: I’m talking to you; I’m sitting here.
ELIAS: Correct. Therefore, what is occurring that is threatening?
KATYA: Threatening?
ELIAS: Yes. (Pause) Nothing, correct?
KATYA: Correct.
ELIAS: This is the point, for you generate worry tremendously. As you generate worry, you also deny your choices and thusly you create scenarios in which you perceive yourself to not have enough. But if you allow yourself to actually pay attention to what is occurring in the now, you may also allow yourself to begin to relax and discontinue worry, which moves your attention from the past and also away from projecting futurely. Are you understanding? (Pause)
The more that you express worry, the more you reinforce generating actions that create the scenarios which are worrisome. The manner in which you discontinue engaging worry is to move your attention to the actual now.
KATYA: It seems like my previous attempts at not worrying were more like denials, where it seemed more like I was just ignoring the situation while it got worse.
ELIAS: Correct, but this is not creating what I am expressing to you. I am understanding what you are expressing in attempting to not worry and attempting to generate distraction. I am not expressing to you to incorporate distraction; I am expressing to you, move your attention.
The worry is generated in your association with past experiences and the projection of anticipation of future experiences, and in that, you are not paying attention to now. In moving your attention to the now and actually allowing yourself to address to what is actually occurring now, you move your attention in a manner which discontinues the worry but is not ignoring your reality. (25-second pause)
It is a process, my friend, and in this merely allow yourself to relax and temporarily incorporate this exercise. Allow yourself to practice moving your attention to the now and allow yourself permission, temporarily within this time framework, to not concern yourself with the future. (38-second pause)
KATYA: I’ll do that. I do have to see what the difference is from denying my reality so I don’t ignore it. When you say "pay attention in the now," what is it I’m paying attention to? I think I’m so far from even knowing what you’re talking about, because I’m so used to thinking in the past or the future that I don’t even come close to understanding what you mean.
ELIAS: Simply move your attention to what is physically occurring in each moment, in each now.
As you recognize that you are generating thoughts or that you are generating emotional signals in association with past experiences or projecting to future anticipated experiences, notice and intentionally express to yourself to stop and move your attention to what is occurring now. Initially, you may not necessarily recognize what you are communicating to yourself or what you are generating inwardly, for you are correct, you have become so very familiar with projecting your attention that merely the act of moving your attention to the now may be challenging.
Therefore, as you begin this action, you may merely allow yourself to move your attention to what is actually physically occurring - where your physical manifestation is actually located, where you physically place yourself. What are you physically generating? What movement are you creating with your foot or with your hand? Notice your muscles. Notice whether you are incorporating tension or not. Allow yourself to merely pay attention to what you are actually generating in the moment. You may be incorporating speaking with another individual in association with your telephone. What are you speaking of? What is being generated in your conversation and how are you associating with that? What is your physical body consciousness generating? These are actions of allowing yourself to move your attention to the now.
KATYA: That helps. (Sighs)
ELIAS: You may be incorporating a mundane task within your home; it matters not. You have become very familiar with holding your attention in thought, and the thoughts are projecting your attention pastly and futurely. (1 minute, 28-second pause)
And in this now, what are you generating?
KATYA: That’s a good question! (Laughs with Elias) I’m not sure what I’m generating, but I can pay attention. I can stop as often as I can think about it and think about that.
I’m not sure how to make the leap from whatever tension or whatever I feel to what I’m generating - or that is what I’m generating?
ELIAS: It IS what you are generating. What are you incorporating in feeling now? (Pause)
KATYA: Well, many times I would notice discounting, limiting thoughts or feelings. Right now I’m feeling that I wish it was easier for them to just go away, because sometimes noticing them doesn’t change much, it seems. They’re still around. So the question is really about how you change them.
ELIAS: Identify what you are actually feeling in this now, in this moment.
KATYA: I think I’m preferring to distract myself with coffee.
ELIAS: Very well. Turn your attention to your physical body. What is IT expressing?
KATYA: I have a sore throat, starting yesterday. I’ve had a cold for some time, especially since I started worrying about what I’m going to do as far as generating money now. (Pause)
ELIAS: Feel your stomach.
KATYA: That’s what it feels like, completely.
ELIAS: And do you recognize the tension?
KATYA: Just the feeling of being stuck?
ELIAS: No. In this moment, move your attention to your solar plexus and recognize how that feels. Do you notice the tension within the muscles? (Pause)
KATYA: Not in the solar plexus, in my back and neck.
ELIAS: Within the entirety of the midsection of your physical body, you are generating a tension of energy within your physical muscles and bones. You are noticing within your back. Within the entirety of this midsection of your physical body you are generating a tension of energy, and you are correct, you are also generating that within your neck and shoulders.
Now; this is an example of moving your attention to the now - not past, not future - and allowing yourself to pay attention to what is occurring now and to offer yourself active choice. It may appear to you to be insignificant initially, but I may assure you it is not, for it is an allowance of yourself to move your attention.
You are inquiring of myself, "How may I discontinue this action? I wish to stop. I wish to create a different expression." If you do not allow yourself to familiarize yourself with you and to even move your attention to now, you shall not allow yourself to begin to alter your perception and thusly alter your reality. Therefore, these actions are quite significant.
Now; in this now, noticing that you are incorporating this tension within your physical body, intentionally allow yourself to move your head, to move your shoulders, to shift your body and release energy, and express to yourself intentionally to relax. (Pause) Tension blocks communication. (30-second pause)
One communication that I shall suggest to you that you allow yourself to genuinely pay attention to is that of emotion, for this also is an avenue of communication that you attempt to ignore many times. (35-second pause and Katya sighs)
Shall you attempt to incorporate that action of breath once again? (Chuckles) (28-second pause)
KATYA: I think listening to my emotion is also a new thing to me, but I think I started about a year and a half ago and it hasn’t changed my life. To even admit or assume that the emotions have valid things to say to me ... which I’ve tried.
ELIAS: And they do, my friend. (26-second pause)
KATYA: It’s easy to say I need to do this, but then for a person like me who doesn’t even know how, doesn’t even begin to know how...
ELIAS: Merely begin in allowing yourself to relax and to notice each moment in which you incorporate thoughts in association with the past or the future, and each time you notice that you are incorporating these thoughts in association with the past and the future, express to yourself to intentionally stop and move your attention to your physical environment or to your physical body. This is a beginning point.
KATYA: Can you tell me what... It seems when I do that, when you talk about following impulses, it seems like all I’d want to do then is just smoke, sleep, eat, or the best option would be to go dancing, and it seems like I’d never get anything done that way and I’d end up sleeping under the bridge.
ELIAS: Ah! (Katya laughs) But I may express to you, it may be quite beneficial to you to allow yourself this type of action temporarily and not be pushing yourself and forcing your energy in association with expectations or what you associate with responsibility. You are not responsible for any expression except yourself. Perhaps attempt, temporarily for a time framework, to replace the terms "I must" or "I should" with "I want," and then allow. (17-second pause)
I may express to you, my friend, you may be smoking and drinking and dancing for a time framework, but eventually these actions shall become redundant and boring also; therefore, you shall offer yourself communications to be generating other actions. But let me also express to you, the fear of homelessness is a snare, for as you concentrate upon that creation, you reinforce the energy of creating that.
KATYA: When you say that, that scares me even more! (Laughs) So, okay, don’t think about it then!
ELIAS: It is not a question of not thinking. It is a question of moving your attention to you and beginning to recognize your value and your worth, and that this is not the choice that you want to generate, and that it IS a choice. That scenario shall not happen TO you; it shall be a choice.
KATYA: I guess you were correct in stating that I don’t feel in control of that.
ELIAS: I am understanding, and this is the reason that I have offered these suggestions in methods of how you may begin to pay attention to you. Although I am quite aware within your energy expression presently that these suggestions appear to you to be quite insignificant and you continue to concern yourself with the queries of, "Yes, yes, I am understanding, BUT how shall I generate income? What shall I do? What are my choices? What do I want?" you shall not offer yourself clarity in the response to these questions until you allow yourself to be clear in the now with you. Therefore these methods that I have offered you this morning are quite significant, for this allows you a beginning point.
I may also express to you, my friend, once you allow yourself to begin in this type of movement, you generate a swifter and swifter accomplishment. You are an acutely aware individual. It is merely a matter of moving that acuteness in awareness to the now rather than to the illusion of the future or what is perceived to be the absoluteness of the past, which in actuality is not absolute. (26-second pause)
KATYA: (Sighs) Thank you, thank you so much, Elias.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend.
KATYA: I will get the tape and listen to every word you said again, because I feel I have no choice, or I mean I don’t know what else to do, so this is the only ... the exercises you gave me.
ELIAS: Very well, and I shall offer to you an expression of my energy to be surrounding you continuously and offering you reinforcement and encouragement.
KATYA: Thank you.
ELIAS: I express to you my affection, my friend.
KATYA: Thank you very much.
ELIAS: Au revoir.
KATYA: Do svidaniya.
Elias departs at 2:15 PM.
©2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.