Do Not Incorporate Such Black and White Absolutes
“Do Not Incorporate Such Black and White Absolutes”
“Relationship with an Alcoholic”
Tuesday, May 7, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Joseph (Dainel)
Elias arrives at 9:48 AM. (Arrival time is 17 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
JOSEPH: Good morning, Elias! How are you? (Elias laughs) “As always,” I can answer that! Let’s get right down to business. I shouldn’t waste valuable time in the earth dimension! (Elias laughs)
Elias, I’m sure you must be aware of what famous people’s birthday it is today, so wish those essences happy birthday for me, okay?
ELIAS: Very well. (Chuckles)
JOSEPH: One of the major things that happened... Back up; scratch that. It’s been very recent since I’ve talked with you, just a month or so. There are times when people talk and there’s a year or two intervening. Does that time lapse mean anything to you, or is it almost meaningless and only meaningful to the person talking to you?
ELIAS: It is relative to you.
JOSEPH: That answers that. Thank you.
A few days ago, I started crying the first time I played a new composition I wanted to learn. I set it aside to practice something else and came back to the music a day or two later, bawled again, and had to set it aside. According to the conventional wisdom, I was simply reacting to the beauty of the music. According to your teachings, emotion is always a communication. You emphasize that to the point where no one could possibly forget it. (Elias smiles) My question to you is, was the information I was receiving about a focus or some other communication?
ELIAS: Another communication.
JOSEPH: Then you will have to tell me what that is, please.
ELIAS: Your assessment of the communication is correct...
JOSEPH: Wait a minute! I don’t understand. Oh, you mean the fact that it’s a communication rather than an emotional reaction.
ELIAS: No, that you are offering yourself a communication concerning appreciation. In appreciation of the tones and the quality of the music, you offer yourself a communication of validation.
JOSEPH: I understand you now, but then that leads to other questions. I don’t know whether we should go off on them, maybe just very briefly.
The work that I’m starting to learn is a work by Antonín Dvorák. It’s a group of thirteen pieces that are relatively short pieces of varying length. It’s a work I’ve never heard of before I bought this book, even though I listen to tons of classical music on the radio and I have a big record collection. Although Dvorák has many compositions that are very famous worldwide and well known, nothing in this book has ever come to my attention before, which seems to indicate it’s really obscure. Maybe people in conservatories know about them and play them fairly often, and certainly they do in Czechoslovakia. The question that all this leads up to is, since my assessment of the music is so strong, is it simply my personal response or am I recognizing the greatness of this music and that others are overlooking it?
JOSEPH: That answers that very well. Thank you!
ELIAS: You are welcome.
JOSEPH: One last thing before we go on. I don’t have any focuses that were anywhere near close to Dvorák in terms of association or relative — that’s correct, right?
JOSEPH: That answers that perfectly!
Elias, just say a couple of sentences about what is the point of getting to know focuses. Of course, there’s curiosity involved. It certainly seems like a widening of awareness of oneself. It seems an integral part of the shift, but I would put it third or fourth on the list of important things in the shift. Anything else?
ELIAS: The significance of allowing yourself information concerning other focuses is merely that you allow yourself to recognize in reality that you are essence and that you incorporate more attentions than merely this one, therefore recognizing the vastness of yourself even in association with this one physical dimension.
JOSEPH: Can you do that any other way or is this the major way of doing that, recognizing you’re essence and the vastness? Is that the major way of doing that?
ELIAS: Not necessarily, but this is the preferred method that individuals choose within your physical dimension.
JOSEPH: Is truly an intellectual understanding of your methods almost or about as valid, effective and efficient, as you would say?
JOSEPH: I want to go back to my previous conversation with you. There was one little point that confused me. What I’m going to do is ask you one question, maybe two or three, and I may just simply erase what you said in the other session, depending on what answer you give here.
My first question — is Dainel the directing or observing essence of Albert Einstein?
JOSEPH: The directing essence is Sumafi, is that correct?
JOSEPH: The next vital question is my phone rings and rings, and there’s no one on the other end. Now, I know what that means because you’ve mentioned this and described this and explained that quite clearly in a session someone else had recently. My question to you is what is the message that I am not getting?
ELIAS: Look to what you are generating in recent time framework in association with yourself and your relationship.
JOSEPH: All right, but that’s not telling me enough. You’re pointing in the direction, but it’s a total fog.
ELIAS: Very well. You are attempting to communicate with yourself concerning what YOU are generating, your behaviors, your choices and how you are directing your attention. In this, you are not necessarily paying attention to self but projecting your attention outwardly and holding your attention upon the choices and behaviors of the other individual, in which you do not pay attention to YOU.
JOSEPH: Elias, thank you for that. We’re going to go into that in more detail toward the end of this session, and now I know exactly where we’re heading.
ELIAS: Very well.
JOSEPH: We’ll wait and continue that later, okay, Elias?
ELIAS: Very well.
JOSEPH: I want to know if this one man from the People’s Church that I have been going to that I mentioned in a previous session — his name is Sam and he’s with a wife and does missionary activity in the Philippines — is he a focus of Nelson Mandela or is Nelson Mandela a focus of him?
JOSEPH: Is there some close association of some kind that makes me think that?
ELIAS: There is a similarity in tone quality, which generates a similarity in personality.
JOSEPH: Elias, the other thing I wanted to know is do many members of the congregation have focuses as South African apartheids? I would say no, now that you mentioned that Sam is not a focus of Mandela.
ELIAS: Correct, no.
JOSEPH: I want to ask about several people and their families to see how close I came to it. Is my friend Bob belonging to Sumafi and aligned to Gramada?
JOSEPH: Is my former friend, who’s deceased, Ilda aligned to Milumet?
JOSEPH: Wow! I am wondering now if both Franz Schubert and Dvorák belong to the same family and had the same alignment. If that were the case, I would say it would be belonging to Milumet and aligned to Sumari.
ELIAS: Belonging to Vold.
JOSEPH: Both are belonging to Vold?!
JOSEPH: Oh my gosh, I would never guess that! What about their alignment — is it same or different?
ELIAS: You are correct.
JOSEPH: They’re both Milumet, huh?
ELIAS: No, Sumari.
JOSEPH: Elias, the thing that threw me off so much is that both these men have rather simple natures and were very attached to nature, and that would seem like Milumet. Where did I go off here, Elias?
ELIAS: I may express to you, my friend, that at times you view these families and the qualities of these families quite absolutely, and they are not.
JOSEPH: In effect what you’re saying is you can’t always be correct. You say these families are a certain way, and you say someone’s that way and they belong to that family. You can’t always be sure you’re correct. I guess you can’t intellectually, but I guess you could if you really had strong impressions.
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
JOSEPH: That answers that question very well, thank you. Now, a couple of other people... Okay, I just want to back up one second. My understanding is that I was correct that both Schubert and Dvorák, who were so similar in the musical world, belonged to the same family, Vold, and aligned to the same family, Sumari.
ELIAS: Yes, correct.
JOSEPH: My brother Jim, is he Sumafi aligned to Sumari?
JOSEPH: What about my sister Doris? Is she Zuli aligned to Milumet?
JOSEPH: There is an instance where her attachment to nature and so forth really identifies her, love of the outdoors and stuff. But unlike Dvorák and Schubert, she really didn’t have that simple nature. I thought it was more affective to belong to the family.
Anyway, Elias, I’ve gotten a tremendous number correct on focuses of people that I’ve tried identifying; there’s well over a dozen of them. My last session I was way off in regard to one individual, which is our President Bush. I was wrong both on the belonging and aligning. My question to you is this. The reason for my being so far off, is it what you’re telling me before about you can’t be so absolute, or is it because the news media presents a constructed picture of Bush rather than an accurate?
JOSEPH: Elias, you tell us that upon disengagement one usually becomes more aware of other focuses. Would that mean that those who are aware of quite a few of their focuses are way ahead of the game?
ELIAS: Not necessarily, for they are different actions, my friend. As you disengage from this physical dimension, you are moving into an action of nonphysical transition in which you are engaging the action of shedding the beliefs associated with this physical dimension and also discontinuing the objective awareness, for it is unnecessary in nonphysical areas of consciousness. In that action, you do allow yourself more of a recognition of self as essence and not being merely a part of essence, and therefore you do incorporate an awareness of other attentions or focuses.
But within your physical manifestation, choosing to be widening your awareness and incorporating a clearer awareness of yourself as essence in viewing other focuses, you are engaging a different action. You are participating in agreement in the movement of this shift in consciousness, which does not necessarily facilitate your transition once you choose to be disengaging.
JOSEPH: I comprehend. Thank you.
I want to ask you about some beliefs of mine and their effect. It all goes back to one central thing that I experienced in my early life. My father used to rage about my worthlessness on many occasions. What really burns in my mind are the times at the dinner table when in front of the family he would just rage, “I’ve never seen anyone so good for shit!” Those were his words “never seen anyone so good for shit.” It had to do with the fact that I’m not mechanically inclined. For example, I’d try to handle the set of ropes that were used to tighten wires on a fence, and it was beyond me. My sisters could drive the tractor, and so forth and so on. In the beginning of my adult life, I just felt like I was unable to perform even menial jobs.
I’ve had many impressions to go with these beliefs but I know I have nothing to gain from them. Elias, I want a clearer understanding of my beliefs with a view toward working toward acceptance of them. Would you give me some help with regard to that?
ELIAS: I may express to you that you are already moving in this direction, for you are recognizing that you have accepted the dictates of another individual and you have allowed yourself to devalue your worth in your perception in association with your belief that this individual of your father was in authority of you and therefore was expressing to you an assessment of your worth, which you incorporated as a belief.
In recognizing this now, you may also turn your attention to you and choose to be valuing of yourself, recognizing that your choices are your own and how you choose to be manifesting in this physical focus is not a reflection of your worth. It is merely a choice of exploration.
JOSEPH: Elias, there’s something I want to add to that and I want you to confirm this. I think I recognize that I chose a certain type of life. In originally dampening my self-confidence, my sense of worth, I channeled my life in another direction because I wanted that experience of another kind of life than if I had felt my full sense of worth like so many people do. Confirm that understanding or correct it.
ELIAS: Yes, I shall confirm.
JOSEPH: Does the focus Joseph have an observing essence?
JOSEPH: I haven’t gotten any impressions; it was just a wild thought. Would you want to give me any more detail, or am I asking a too general question?
ELIAS: As I have stated, each essence chooses to be engaging...
JOSEPH: Elias, I’m sorry to interrupt. Let me ask you, is this observing focus throughout my life or just part of it?
JOSEPH: That evokes another question — during this current part, an early part?
ELIAS: Within this time framework and extending pastly to the onset of what you identify as your adulthood.
JOSEPH: Extending pastly beyond what you identify as adulthood?
ELIAS: Not beyond, but to the point of your identification of the onset of adulthood.
JOSEPH: In other words, from approximately the time of age 22 to now?
JOSEPH: Give me the name of that essence, please.
ELIAS: Mealai (MEE lie).
JOSEPH: Eli! Oh, my god! That’s like your...
ELIAS: Mealai! Mealai! No, no, no. Mealai, M-E-A-L-A-I.
JOSEPH: Interesting. That has some similar qualities to my middle name, Michael. Is there any significance to that, or is that something I just happen to notice?
ELIAS: Not necessarily.
JOSEPH: Does this essence have as much an interest in what’s going on in my life as Dainel has? In other words, could I be choosing to contact this essence for help like I try to with Dainel?
ELIAS: No, for an observing essence is choosing to be engaging this action to be offering itself experience but is not participating in any of the choices of the directing essence.
JOSEPH: That is interesting. Elias, two questions remain, at this moment anyway, about that subject. One is, having read all the sessions except the ones that were not put out in public, I don’t remember anyone asking a question like this where they have an observing essence. Have you ever gotten that question from someone else?
JOSEPH: You have?
JOSEPH: There was another question that slipped my mind. Do you know what it was, Elias? (Laughs and Elias chuckles) Oh, well, I’ll have to come back to it later, if I remember it.
Elias, a name popped into my head, Joseph Seivel, S-E-I-V-E-L, and I got that in connection with this focus you told me about that was a close friend of Michael Haydn, brother of Joseph Haydn. Would you confirm or correct that, and tell me who Seivel was, if he was anybody important?
ELIAS: I shall confirm, although in your terms this individual did not incorporate any notoriety.
JOSEPH: Yes, I recognize that. But that obscure focus was a close associate of Michael Haydn’s that you mentioned earlier, right?
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
JOSEPH: Wow! That’s the first time I got a name.
Another thing I don’t remember anybody asking you about in any of the sessions, and I’m wondering if they did, is something about TM. When I do TM it puts me into a different space sometimes of consciousness that I wouldn’t ordinarily go in. You’ve said that sleep is our communication with essence. I’m wondering, are there different kinds of communication that TM puts you in that? That’s one question.
JOSEPH: The other question is I wonder about the sensation in my fingers, particularly when I fall into a deep sleep and I come out of it, or when I’m overly concentrating. Sometimes if I do that, the sensation comes right up my arm, and if I stop, the sensation goes away. I’m not talking about a problem; I’m just talking about an experience.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
JOSEPH: That’s just a clarification for others. I’m curious about that sensation, and I’m wondering if there’s a simple explanation for it. If not, I’ll just go on. That’s my question — is there a simple explanation for that sensation you can tell me anything about?
ELIAS: Yes, in actuality. This is merely your expression of generating an objective continued awareness of your physical body consciousness in different states, so to speak.
JOSEPH: Are you saying it keeps me down to earth, nails me down, so to speak?
ELIAS: In your terms, in a manner of speaking.
JOSEPH: Wow. To what extent is TM based on beliefs? I know that Maharishi teaches a lot of things, and a lot of those things are beliefs. But aside from those intellectual things that he presents, is the experience of doing TM, not the experience but the process of doing TM or the fact that a mantra will do what it does, are beliefs involved in all of that? Are they what Seth calls root beliefs, like gravity? Can you please answer that?
ELIAS: Yes. This is not to discount what you allow yourself in generating certain experiences. Therefore, it matters not that there is an influence of beliefs which is being expressed. You continue to allow yourself experiences in this method, which may be beneficial.
JOSEPH: In an earlier session, you confirmed my mother had a focus as William Clark and clarified that as an observing focus. I’m wondering if the directing essence of William Clark has a focus of anyone who has been important in my life, this life as Joseph. Just yes or no.
JOSEPH: Thank you. You confirmed that my Egyptian focus still influences and according to my understanding of you is mainly my interest in astrology. One of the things that I noticed about my astrology is that in America there is an astrological establishment and they speak a language and interpret charts their way. I find that my language is different and I interpret them in a different way, so it’s like speaking a different language from them. I think you understand without into detail. First of all, that’s correct, right?
JOSEPH: The second thing is am I getting these ideas from my Egyptian focus, or are they a creation of this focus (inaudible)?
ELIAS: This focus.
JOSEPH: Now I’m moving on to Myron, I think. First of all, I keep seeing similarity in Curtis and Myron. Curtis was the man I lived with in ‘92. I know they’re both big black men and they both had similar influences on their personalities. Is that mainly what I’m seeing or is there some kind of similarity of focus?
ELIAS: No, you are noticing similarity in...
JOSEPH: ...the culture.
ELIAS: Yes, and behavior and certain personality associations.
JOSEPH: I also noticed similarity in my brother Bob and Myron. Now, there’s no similarity in culture there. There’s a lot of similarity of voice, which is really odd because Myron comes from a black community and Bob wouldn’t speak at all like a Chicago black man. I’m wondering why I see that similarity between Bob and Myron.
ELIAS: This also is a noticing of similarities of energy expressions, which you translate in an expression of similarity of tones.
JOSEPH: I’m wondering if my brother Bob belongs to Ilda and expresses this Ilda through his many children who have gone into the teaching profession, and I’m wondering if he’s aligned to Borledim.
ELIAS: To your second question, yes. To your first question, no.
JOSEPH: What is his family, then? Is it Gramada? (Pause)
JOSEPH: Wow, I can’t figure this one out. Go ahead and tell me what his family is, then, Elias.
ELIAS: This also is Vold.
JOSEPH: Vold is very changeable. Where are all the changes in his life? He’s so conventional. There’s nothing of the revolutionary about him.
ELIAS: Ah, but this may be expressed in many different manners, my friend, not necessarily in...
JOSEPH: Could you give me a couple of examples so I could understand this a little better, this Vold business?
ELIAS: Let me express to you, the expression of an individual that is belonging to a particular family shall be less obvious than...
JOSEPH: Yes, I do recognize that very strongly. But it should still be noticeable, should it not? I notice my Gramada.
ELIAS: Somewhat, but you may be engaging more of a challenge and paying closer attention to be viewing the expression of that essence family in another individual.
JOSEPH: I see the Ilda very strongly in Myron, who is a truck driver. Am I correct in that regard?
JOSEPH: Elias, I believe you said that both Schubert and Dvorák were Vold, and my brother Bob belongs to Vold. We’re talking about belonging now.
JOSEPH: Well, I think I can see this in Schubert, because he went on from one accomplishment to the other. There was kind of an unusual changeableness there. Would you point out one or two things in my brother Bob where I might see the Vold and that might explain Vold a little more to me, please?
ELIAS: I may suggest to you, my friend, to investigate yourself.
JOSEPH: Myself? Are you taking me away from trying to understand that essence family and talk more about myself?
ELIAS: No, no, no, no. I am expressing to you, allow yourself to investigate and pay attention, and you shall offer yourself a clearer understanding of the diversity of these essence families.
JOSEPH: That puts a little bit of a mystery in there for me, Elias. (Laughs) I wish you wouldn’t throw mysteries at me! I wish you’d give me more help.
ELIAS: Ah, Dainel! You wish so very much to be incorporating the black and white absolutes within your focus, do you not?
JOSEPH: I guess you know, Elias! (Elias laughs)
Elias, to go on to another little point, I feel like my relationship with Myron has provided imagery as a step toward acceptance of the belief “I’m not good for shit.” In other words, it was objectified before me and I am just recognizing it more. It’s coming out more and it’s more accepted. Can you say anything about that, Elias?
ELIAS: Yes, I am in agreement.
JOSEPH: Very good! Myron was an alcoholic, and I am so drawn to alcoholics in the part of lovers and people I live with. There’s a number of things I want to discuss about that in regard to my interpretation of this experience, and then I want you to go on beyond that.
One thing that’s obvious to me is that I’m an easy pick and that’s what an alcoholic is more in need of than anything else, and there are very few who are willing to help. I’ve been finding it difficult to find really masculine partners and masculine men who are not having conflict in their life, generally not to that degree of severe conflict that an alcoholic would have. Generally it inhibits their expression toward men; whereas, alcoholics, all their situations force them to respond to it out of a reaching out for help.
I want you to express now, Elias, just why I’m so drawn to alcoholics, how much of what I said is true, what goes beyond that. Go ahead, Elias.
ELIAS: Very well. I may express to you that you are correct in your assessment that you draw yourself to these types of individuals or this type of expression in association with your issue with worth. But in this, the manner in which you proceed is to be offering yourself an expression of worth within yourself by engaging what you assess as helpfulness and rescue. Therefore, this shall be an objective expression that shall offer you evidence of your worth — although I may express to you that this is in actuality quite ludicrous, for you may not be rescuing of another individual. In actuality, if you are not paying attention to you and focusing your attention upon self, you are also not offering helpfulness to another individual.
But the reason that you continue to draw to yourself this type of scenario is that this offers you justification in certain actions and behaviors and also offers you an outside expression of acquiring worth. But I may also express to you, this is a temporary expression and it does not actually offer you a genuine acceptance of yourself. Therefore, you continue to generate repeatedly similar scenarios to continue to offer yourself this façade of generating an expression of your worth and value.
JOSEPH: That answers that quite well, I think. Thank you.
Elias, I’ve tried two lifestyles, living with a partner and having a partner visit me for that one thing, and I’ve not found either one completely happy and satisfying, although I incline very much toward having a partner visit me. Here’s my question to you — which one of these lifestyles is more distinctly in keeping with my intent and orientation?
ELIAS: In actuality, my friend, I may express to you once again, this is your viewing of choices in quite black and white absolutes.
JOSEPH: (Laughs) I guess that’s enough of that, then!
ELIAS: Neither expression is more or less in keeping, so to speak, with your intent and your orientation and your personality.
JOSEPH: That answers that very well. Thank you.
Elias, I have a real problem here. When I engage in conversation with people — and one of the most usual ordinary things in human society is to engage in conversation with each other — all my energy drains out of me at once. Afterward I feel almost distraught from the experience. People don’t have that; they enjoy a conversation with other people. My question to you is is there anything that can be done about this to make conversation a more comfortable experience for me?
I can give you one example of this. I was talking to Jenaro late on Monday, April 30, I think. I’m not sure if it’s Monday or Tuesday. Anyway, is there anything that can be done about making it a more comfortable experience for me like it is for others?
ELIAS: Once again, I may express to you, this is a scenario in which you are focusing your attention more outwardly upon the other individual than you are in association with yourself.
Now; let me express to you, quite literally you incorporate more of an expression of energy in concentrating your attention outwardly upon another individual than you do in holding your attention upon self. You also generate an expression of tension within your physical body consciousness in this action of engaging conversation, for you are holding your attention outside of yourself in an intensity which generates a tension within your physical body, and your translation of this action to move your attention is to be fatigued.
JOSEPH: I understand you, Elias, but it seems to be a sharp variance with my actual experience. Maybe that’s because I do not understand you. But anyway, when I’m engaging in conversation with another person, you said I should hold my attention on myself. Now, if I were listening to the other person, if I were paying attention to the other person and not paying attention to what I’m saying, then I wouldn’t have this experience of my energy going on and getting lost. It’s when I’m engaging a conversation and I’m focusing on the thoughts that I’m expressing. It’s not the focusing on the other individual, as you say.
ELIAS: Ah, but it is, for were you not moving your attention outwardly and concentrating your attention upon the other individual and the interaction which is ensuing with the other individual and their expression, it would not be necessary for you to engage such concentration upon how you shall converse.
JOSEPH: Wow. Well, I hope this will help. I’m certainly understanding you. But as to actually experience doing this from the viewpoint you just expressed, to see if it actually works...
ELIAS: In paying attention to yourself, my friend, and continuing to hold your attention upon self...
JOSEPH: Elias, you keep saying that all the time, about holding attention to self. I’m really baffled what you mean by that, because I’m aware of who I am, I’m aware of what I’m feeling, I’m aware of what I’m thinking. I don’t know what else you mean by holding attention to self. It really boggles my mind.
ELIAS: Very well. Express to me, do you not incorporate a recognition of reaction?
JOSEPH: You’re asking me if I’m aware that I’m reacting?
ELIAS: In interaction with other individuals, do you incorporate the action of reacting?
JOSEPH: Yes, I guess so.
ELIAS: This is an example of not holding your attention upon self.
JOSEPH: Huh, that’s intriguing.
Well, Elias, that leads into the next question that I want to ask you about, a topic that I want to pick up here. When I was with Myron from about January 1 until a week ago last Wednesday when he left, I saw a lot of things that were primarily about Myron rather than myself. When he actually left, all I could see was him. In other words, he had a problem with alcohol and he had to get help. I was hoping it was money, but that’s irrelevant because he really wasn’t forcing me to. But it was the only way that he could survive so I had to offer it to him when he requested it, but that also created a lot of conflict with me. With Myron, the reason he needed help was because he didn’t get a job.
I keep seeing that the demise of the relationship or the interruption, whatever it may turn out to be, was all about Myron — his not getting a job and drinking. This made a relationship impossible — his lack of activity, the drinking related to not having a job and not having money, and the disruption of the relationship because he didn’t have regular activity at work. The drinking was related to not having a job. It’s all about Myron and it’s not about me. I’m trying to figure out how I could turn my attention to self in this. I’m baffled by it.
ELIAS: I may express to you, my friend, your perception of the situation is quite reverse.
JOSEPH: The relationship is quite the reverse?
ELIAS: Yes, for it matters not what the other individual is choosing or expressing. What holds significance is what YOU want and what you allow yourself to generate.
You do not want to be engaging assuming personal responsibility for another individual but you choose it. You draw to yourself individuals that you perceive to incorporate a problem. The other individual may not incorporate the perception that what they choose is a problem, but YOUR perception is that the other individual incorporates a problem. You are paying attention to them, not yourself.
In paying attention to yourself, you shall offer yourself permission to generate what YOU want and not to be expressing and projecting the responsibility of your choices onto the other individual. The other individual does not create your reality and does not dictate your choices.
Therefore, if you are generating conflict concerning the other individual’s behaviors or choices, you are not listening to YOU. For literally it matters not what another individual generates, it matters not what their behavior is, it matters not what they choose or what they generate. What matters is what YOU choose, and you have chosen this conflict.
JOSEPH: I’m understanding you, Elias. Now let me be more specific. Let me say that I took a different turn in this relationship. Let me say that I decided that the other individual was going to take care of himself and I wasn’t going to worry about what he did later on, if he did nothing or if he starved and didn’t eat. I can understand how that choice would produce another scenario in a relationship. It would probably produce less conflict in the long run.
The only minor thing is if a person still continued to drink and was disruptive doing so, it seems like there’s a point there where I was having something forced upon me. I don’t quite understand where my choices lie in regard to that.
ELIAS: Dainel, you generate quite a familiarity with this type of scenario. Therefore, you also generate strong expectations in association with this type of scenario and relationship. You concentrate your attention upon those expectations, and therefore you create them.
JOSEPH: The other thing is, what was it in me that was generating this extreme inhibition of people, like certain people I’ve come across who were inhibited about sexual expressions because they were male, and I’m just totally opposite. I don’t quite see where I’m generating that type of behavior response from these men.
ELIAS: This once again is a reflection of your lack of value of yourself and your lack of trust of your ability to create what you want.
JOSEPH: Thank you very much for that, Elias. I think there’s time for one last little thing that I wanted to put last. Since Myron left, I’m alone. He left a week ago last Wednesday evening. Although I am practicing on my own while I’m alone at home, this is really difficult for me. I want to use this opportunity to develop my music, but I can’t do that and go out and engage social activities, too. Here’s my question to you. Do you have any suggestions on how I can bring more comfort into my life?
ELIAS: Allow yourself a balance, my friend. You may be incorporating both if you are allowing yourself a balance of your expression and not such an extreme.
JOSEPH: All right. I think that’s about all for one session, Elias. I think the time is probably up.
ELIAS: Very well, my friend. As always, I continue to offer you my encouragement and also my affection. I shall be anticipating our next meeting, and I shall be with you in the interim time framework.
JOSEPH: Elias, I do have one quick question in regard to Myron that I want to conclude with. I’ve been focusing on having a communication with him, even in the rehab place. I haven’t had any communication since he left. I’m just focusing on one particular communication, one particular expression whenever we do get in touch with each other. I’m wondering if I’m going in a direction that’s going to generate more conflict for me.
What I would like to do is suggest to him that we could get back together again and I would be very much interested, but it would have to be with him working and continuing to seek help and support with his alcoholism. Again, am I moving further away from concentration on self as I’m holding my attention so strongly on this type of communication with Myron?
ELIAS: I shall express to you, if you choose to be expressing in this manner you shall incorporate a tremendous potential for conflict, for once again this is an expression of conditions and expectations and not of acceptance.
JOSEPH: I guess we have to end it here, Elias. Thank you very much. I think you answered everything. This is really fantastic!
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I express to you once again my great affection. I say to you this morning, au revoir.
Elias departs at 10:46 AM.
©2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.