Wednesday, April 24, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Letty (Castille)
Elias arrives at 10:30 AM. (Arrival time is 17 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good morning!

LETTY: Good morning, Elias! How are you today?

ELIAS: As always!

LETTY: How wonderful! (Elias laughs) Well, here we are again.

ELIAS: And how does your adventure proceed now?

LETTY: Well, lots of movement happened in the last few weeks since we spoke, beginning with something I wanted to ask a little bit more about, explanation of aspects.

Cindel has always talked about her different aspects, and I sort of understand and see them in her, but when I started noticing them in me I think they scared me. Soon after I last spoke to you, I made a decision. I worked very well in understanding my choices and made a decision with Leezar. I had a very, very difficult time in that process, and what I noticed is that it was a different aspect of myself. I recognized it; it was very uncomfortable because it felt very unfamiliar. Trying to pay attention to myself and my intuition, I recognized that I did it for a purpose. I picked up much more emotional communication, especially that longing that we talked about.

I've been reading a lot of transcripts about understanding the connectiveness but yet feeling that a loneliness was still there, and I understand it was part of me still not accepting me. But it was very real, and in that reality it took me days to get rid of that feeling of uncomfortableness. Then I created a trip, which I miss and I haven't done that for a while, and that was kind of like a shift, doing that. Taking me out of my familiarity of my home and my every-day kind of helped me put me back into the aspect of me that I'm more familiar with. Yet I still continue to not feel quite the same, almost like a little bit from the outside.

ELIAS: I am understanding. Let me express to you, Castille, as you widen your awareness, quite literally you allow yourself to pay attention more clearly to you, and therefore you notice in time frameworks in which you shift different aspects of yourself. You do this quite often, but you do not notice. In allowing yourself this expression of widening your awareness and genuinely paying attention to you, you more clearly view and notice in experience this action of shifting aspects of yourself.

Now; you do this quite purposefully, as you are aware, to allow different expressions of different qualities of yourself that you may not be expressing in other time frameworks. You shift to the expressions of different aspects of yourself, different yous of you, to allow yourself to express in different manners and therefore accomplish different movements in a more efficient manner.

Now; in engaging the choice that you generated in relation to Leezar, in recognizing that the accomplishment of continuing in this choice perhaps necessitates a different type of expression within yourself to continue holding your attention upon yourself, you shift aspects and engage another aspect that may more easily express this type of movement and allow you to hold your attention upon self more efficiently and not continue to be projecting your attention to Leezar. You continue to experience yourself in some manners of familiarity, but you also recognize a different expression of energy which you do notice is unfamiliar, but it is not bad. It is efficiently allowing you to create what you want. It is merely unfamiliar.

Now; I am understanding your expression of uncomfortableness and confusion in your recognition of shifting these aspects, for objectively in your awareness this is an unfamiliar action, although it occurs quite often with you all. You do not offer yourselves an objective noticing of this action, and in this, as I have expressed previously, you are so very familiar with the expression of singularity that you generate an association with yourself in a singular capacity. Therefore, in a manner of speaking, you know yourself in one expression.

But as you incorporate any other expression and you notice the difference in energy, it may be unsettling, so to speak, for it threatens your individual identity. For you generate an absoluteness in the expression of your identity of you, and in the incorporation of different energy of you, this threatens what is known to you AS you and therefore is threatening to your individual identity. This is a temporary expression, for you shall allow yourself a natural movement in association with your allowance of your widening of awareness, and you shall begin to incorporate a familiarity with other aspects of yourself and recognize that you are shifting aspects quite often, and this does not lessen you. (Pause)

LETTY: So basically, in the shifting of these aspects, this was more unfamiliar because it had to be stronger to help me get to the point where I wanted to get, which is let go of Leezar and start paying attention to me.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: Which makes a lot of sense. I do catch myself.

I do want to ask you about a couple of dreams. Many times over the last few weeks, I wake up in the middle of the night with a tightness of my chest, of my breath, recognizing that in my sleep state as I continue to still express myself, I'm obviously not paying attention to myself enough because of the trigger in me, but I don't remember. I try to talk to myself, as I'm going to sleep or saying good-night to you, that I want to pay attention to myself, but I still wake up with this tightness, and I recognize that that's what I'm doing. I guess maybe I want your validation. I'm trying to shift that a little bit easier, and I was wondering if you could assist me in that.

ELIAS: You are choosing presently to not engage your objective imagery in association with dream activity to allow yourself less distraction in association with waking imagery, and therefore you do not engage an objective recall of dream activity.

Now; as I have expressed to you previously, within your dream state you express more obviously your suspicion of yourself in association with a lack of control. Be remembering, the objective and the subjective move in harmony, and in this, as I have stated previously, the objective physical imagery that you present to yourself is more abstract than the subjective expressions. Therefore, you express an uneasiness in association with this belief of control within your objective awareness in waking state, but you also attempt to ignore this and distract yourself.

Now; within the dream state, you are generating subjective activity which reflects the same expressions as the objective. Therefore, there is an expression of concern and question of yourself in relation to the expression of control or not expressing control, and in this, you attempt to be controlling of the movement subjectively and therefore generate constriction. This expression of physical breath is your signal to your objective awareness of what you are generating. (Pause)

LETTY: I've always recognized that I always wanted to control everything around. I guess I hadn't paid attention to how much I do distract myself objectively. It's a control of myself...

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: ...of how I should be or how I should act.

ELIAS: Yes, and also in association with the shifting of aspects.

LETTY: Oh. I want to control my shifting...

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: ...instead of allowing my natural shifting.

ELIAS: Correct, yes. For in the moments that you experience uncomfortableness, Castille, your automatic response is to express control of your movement and of the situation that you are creating.

LETTY: This is where I should practice my relaxation to allow the natural flow.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: I hadn't realized how automatically I was doing that.

ELIAS: But this is the point of automatic responses - you do not notice. They are automatic and incorporate no thought.

LETTY: Is this all related? I had a question about different noises, my night obviously being with myself more. This has been going on for years. There's a noise outside not necessarily my window - it's not outside my bedroom on the outside of the house - and the only place I can listen to that noise is in that corner where my bed is. I know at first I thought something's loose out there but with time my impression is that it's a message to me, something to note, to pay attention to. I keep forgetting to ask you, and then I forget about it until I listen to it again. I've had a hard time trying to figure out that message.

ELIAS: And perhaps, in noticing now, you may alter your perception, and as you offer this sound to yourself you may express a comfort within yourself, for you ARE offering yourself a message to be paying attention to you and to be expressing a trust of yourself. This is a trigger, so to speak, to remind you of your own trust.

LETTY: I think that goes along with this. Very recently I've listened to birds chirping or singing at night, except I did notice one particular night I did not hear them at all.

ELIAS: And in this, you are offering yourself a pleasantry to validate the expression of trust and to offer yourself a new expression of comfort within a time framework which has generated for many years an expression of a lack of trust within you and fear, for within your hours of darkness you have expressed for many years fear as your symbol of your lack of trust of yourself. But now you offer yourself expressions that are your attempt to comfort yourself and generate the trust, which...

LETTY: That kind of goes with the fact that I've always also, besides other reasons, wanted a partner to take care of me at night when it's dark.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: But I can do that all by myself.

ELIAS: You are quite correct, and in this, as you pay attention and you allow yourself to move your perception, you may be noticing that this constriction of breath may also subside.

LETTY: That is the word of the day, Elias: trust.

ELIAS: Ah, yes.

LETTY: I've kind of been playing with all this information and working within myself as if I'm going to school again. I know I'm not learning it, because it's there, but I'm opening the books that I've read some time ago.

ELIAS: Yes, and in this, be remembering, Castille, there is a difference between the expression of acceptance and the expression of trust. You do allow yourself now to generate an acceptance of yourself many times, and you have allowed yourself to become familiar with this expression of acceptance of yourself in much less judgment of yourself. But trust of your ability is quite different, and you do question your trust of yourself.

LETTY: Yes, I do, because I had a question here to have you help me recognize two things within the probabilities right now: still, our relationship, and the other, work. I do objectively talk to myself about trusting myself and giving myself affirmations, but I do catch myself in that lack of it too, when I doubt and question myself.

ELIAS: Quite, for I may express to you, Castille, at this point now within your movement and your awareness and the information that you have offered to yourself and your assimilation of information, affirmations are reinforcing the LACK of trust, for you are expressing to yourself that you must be repeating of these affirmations to generate a trust of yourself. But in the repetition of what you view to be a positive affirmation, you are actually expressing a reinforcement of your doubt of your trust, for each time you generate these affirmations what you are actually concentrating upon is that were you to be trusting of yourself you would not need to be continuously repeating these affirmations.

LETTY: So this trust is working more on allowing myself the knowing?

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: I picked that up right now in this moment.

ELIAS: Yes, allowing yourself a comfort within yourself and offering yourself the allowance of your freedom to express what you want without restriction or fear and knowing that you do incorporate the ability to accomplish that, rather than continuously questioning your ability and attempting to affirm to yourself through thought or words or communication with other individuals that you shall be trusting yourself at some moment within the future, that you are striving to that point, but you do not allow it within the moment. Rest in your knowing rather than the reinforcement of the lack.

LETTY: So I just answered myself right now about relationships and work. If I just allow it, it matters not what happens. I will create what I want.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: Even though I may not know what that is right now.

ELIAS: And this matters not also, for in genuinely allowing your expressions freely and your choices, you shall offer yourself information and allow yourself the translation of what you want.

LETTY: I just had this impression from what we've discussed. THIS is what I've been trying to control.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: And that's the control issue in my dream state.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: (Sighs) What an enlightening moment! I knew there was something that I couldn't quite figure exactly what I was doing.

Also, one of my questions is I altered my perception about my friend, Bill, in a drastic mode that I also was going to ask you about. Within the change of the different aspects of myself, I was also using him as distraction, which I no longer wish to do.

ELIAS: Correct. But view how you automatically offer yourself information as you have, even within our discussion, merely in listening to yourself and relaxing your energy and not interrupting your communications with analyzation of thought. (Pause)

You obstruct your communications and their translations to yourself in the cluttering of your thoughts with expressions that are merely repetitions of what you are generating already. In this, in the incorporation of your affirmations as an example, you clutter your thought process with a continuous reinforcement of what you are already generating in a lack of trust and a lack of relaxation. Whereas, in your allowance of yourself to relax and rest in your own expression of knowing, you automatically open a free flow of information to yourself and allow your thoughts to translate immediately your communications.

LETTY: And I must trust that communication.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: I think you can validate me that in my movement I'm understanding more the difference of those thoughts of thinking versus the thoughts of interpreting my genuine communication of my energy.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: For a while there, I knew I was trying to separate it, and it helped tremendously when you explained to me the balance.

Let me ask you about a dream I just had. I'm just going to skip to the ones last night, which to me is more now. I don't remember specifics, but the dream had a lot to do about work and people that I work with and authority. It was kind of interesting because I was in a room watching through a monitor my boss or somebody of authority talking to somebody who was kind of acting like a psychologist. He was there telling his problems or whatever, and I don't know whether it was proper or not but I was viewing this.

Then right after that, I dreamt that I was in a hotel room in a shower. Somebody was outside the room while I was showering in this dark shower, and I remember I kept dropping the soap. I was washing myself and I kept dropping the soap, and toward the end of my dream, before I woke up, the soap disappeared, like it dissolved.

My impression as I'm doing all of this, talking to you right now, is it has to do with the fact that within my control issue I am worried about the company and the job because of this lack of trust I still hold within myself, that I'm telling myself that everything is transparent, that I can see that there's a connectiveness, and it really doesn't matter because whatever is worrying me is going to dissolve.

ELIAS: Yes. Your impression is correct, and I may express to you, this is imagery that you present to yourself also in association with exposure, for as you are allowing yourself movement in paying attention to you more clearly you also are expressing an automatic by-product of allowing yourself more of an exposure of yourself. But even this term of "exposure" ignites an expression of fear. But as you allow yourself to move in association to this expression of exposure, you may recognize that this is yet another movement in freedom with yourself and your expressions and offers you more of a generation of trust within yourself. (Pause)

LETTY: One of the questions, Elias, that Cindel and I keep going over - because we see each other every day - that we keep going over and over is my doubtfulness in understanding. We make choices and our choosing aspect usually is the one that creates. Is that correct?

ELIAS: What you choose, in a manner of speaking, figuratively, generates a message to your perception and therefore your perception creates what you choose, yes.

LETTY: Because a perception is influenced by beliefs...

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: ...or fears or whatever. That's what you create.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: Where does your direction come in, in the choosing aspect or already in your perception of where you are going or doing?

ELIAS: Your direction is in any moment a more specific avenue of exploration of your intent, and in this, within any moment, you choose experiences that shall be in some manner in association with your intent. But your perception may create a manifestation of your direction that may be confusing to you in association with your beliefs, for you shall express automatically beliefs of duplicity in evaluation of what you have created.

LETTY: Okay, that's the piece I was missing.

ELIAS: This is the element which becomes confusing to many of you, for you recognize that you are choosing in association with your direction within any moment and that you are not accidentally creating your reality. You are purposefully creating it, and you are choosing every experience that you generate, and you are choosing ALL of your manifestations. But what becomes confusing is that as this choosing aspect of yourself expresses the message to your perception, and you generate an actual experience or manifestation through your perception, you also generate an evaluation of that automatically in association with your belief system of duplicity and in the evaluation you attach judgment, either good or bad, which in itself, once again, alters your perception. This is the manner in which beliefs influence your perception and what you create.

LETTY: Great explanation! Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

LETTY: Well, I think that's all about me.

I'm about to reunite myself objectively with my family for some time. Can you help me? I've never asked my father's family, alignment, and orientation.

ELIAS: And your impression?

LETTY: I think his family is Vold.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: And his alignment... I have a hard time with that one. Sumari?

ELIAS: Zuli.

LETTY: I should have known that one. I think he's intermediate. (Pause)

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: That's why Marta can get together with him so easily. What is his essence name, please?

ELIAS: Essence name, Fresco, F-R-E-S-C-O (FRES coh).

LETTY: And my brother, Walter?

ELIAS: And your impression?

LETTY: I think he's also intermediate.

ELIAS: Common.

LETTY: Oh, then, I haven't thought about him very much. Let's see, Sumafi.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: And his alignment... I'm stumped.

ELIAS: Gramada.

LETTY: I would not have guessed that. And his essence name?

ELIAS: Ballina, B-A-L-L-I-N-A (bal LEE nuh).

LETTY: And my brother, Danny?

ELIAS: Impression?

LETTY: Sumafi also.

ELIAS: Correct.

LETTY: And he is Borledim?

ELIAS: Borledim, correct; correct.

LETTY: And he's common.

ELIAS: Yes.

LETTY: And his essence name, please?

ELIAS: Essence name, Tea, T-E-A (TEE).

LETTY: Thank you.

I have one magic-ball question. This is a probability of where the company stands right now. My brother, Walter, is having a hard time, and we're all kind of giving him energy to pick up and move on, but I want to say that at this moment right now it's moving in the right direction in which he so desires.

ELIAS: In association with your beliefs, yes.

LETTY: Well, I think this is it for now, Elias.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend.

LETTY: Lots of assimilation to do.

ELIAS: As always, and I as always continue to express my encouragement and my affection to you...

LETTY: And I thank you.

ELIAS: ...and shall continue to express my energy with you until our next meeting. To you, Castille, my friend, au revoir.

LETTY: Au revoir, dear friend.

Elias departs at 11:20 AM.

©2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.