Session 1039

Experimenting with a Relationship


"Experimenting with a Relationship"

Saturday, March 23, 2002 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Sheri (Milde)
Elias arrives at 3:10 PM. (Arrival time is 24 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good day!

SHERI: Good day to you!

ELIAS: Ha ha! We meet again!

SHERI: Yes, we do. So nice to hear you again.

ELIAS: And you also.

SHERI: Well, thank you.

I have some questions about [my friend] and my relationship, what went on with that. I don't know how much of those questions you want or if you just want to start giving me information that would be helpful. I would like that, but...

ELIAS: You may present your questions.

SHERI: Okay, I've got a lot of 'em. (Laughs) I'm gonna read them because otherwise I'll skip over stuff that I want to know. I'm hoping that you'll catch the stuff that I skip over and tell me, anyway.

ELIAS: Allow yourself to present questions individually.

SHERI: Okay, My desire for a long time was to have a romantic relationship and then I created it with [my friend]. Well, I thought I wanted a relationship, but I obviously didn't because for six years I didn't have one. Then I created it with [my friend] and then it stopped suddenly - I stopped it suddenly. When something seems meant to be, why does it just stop like that? I'm just curious about how I created it and how I stopped it.

ELIAS: First of all, you are already aware that you created this and you chose the direction that it moved into.

Now; I may also express to you that you may be acknowledging of yourself for you also incorporate an objective awareness in answer to these questions that you incorporate with myself, partially. But this is significant, for you are offering yourself information and I shall be validating of the information that you are offering to yourself.

Now; in this, you are correct that what you thought you wanted was to be generating a relationship.

Now; this is not entirely incorrect. Your thoughts are interpreting your want but not specifically. Your thought process is expressing to you the translation of your communications to yourself that you do wish to be generating an intimate romantic relationship with another individual objectively. But view this translation. It is quite general; it is not specific. It is accurate in its generality.

Now; in a manner of speaking, beyond that translation of your communication to yourself that you want to be creating this type of relationship with another individual, you also have offered yourself imagery that allows you to objectively view that you have not chosen to be creating that want, for the want remains a general translation.

In this, you chose to be objectively enacting an experiment, not necessarily to be creating an on-going intimate relationship with another individual as a partner, but to offer yourself an exploration of the more specific wants. The manner in which you offer yourself that information is to allow yourself to move into an objective creation and experiment, allowing yourself not to associate in absolutes with experiences that you have generated in the past, and therefore allowing yourself a greater expression of freedom in choice and allowing yourself to pay more attention to you and what YOU want to express. But you have also offered yourself imagery and communications to yourself that offer you a recognition of the avenues in which you generate automatic responses and the avenues in which the influence of your beliefs restrict your allowance of yourself to be freely expressive of yourself in relation to the presentment of energy of another individual.

This in actuality, my friend, is quite significant. It is not a situation in which the questioning may be concerning what you want and what you do not want in a relationship with another individual, for this throws your attention outside of yourself and directs your attention to the other individual or to the expression of relationship as a third entity. But rather you may allow yourself to view and recognize what you did freely allow yourself to express in your choices and what choices you restrict in relation to the other individual, which offers you information in relation to what you want in your choices to be expressing of yourself, not what you expect of the other individual.

SHERI: Can you give me an example of that last part? (Pause)

ELIAS: Very well. At times [this individual] projects a type of energy to other individuals which within your physical terms and definitions in your associations you view to be placating.

Now; let me, as an aside, be reminding you that these are associations and terms that within your physical dimension you continue to incorporate strong definitions for.

SHERI: Yes, I have to look this one up.

ELIAS: This is not necessarily the actual projection of energy that [this individual] is expressing, but this is what you receive and what you translate within your perception.

Now; in the receiving of that energy projection and configuring that in an outward expression of him through your perception, you generate an automatic response, which does not necessarily move your attention to thought but rather generates an automatic response in action, of you pulling your energy to yourself in restriction in doubt of yourself and what you are generating, or doubt of yourself in your capacity for genuine understanding.

Now; you offered yourself a tremendous allowance to be trusting yourself and to be paying attention to yourself and therefore generating the choices that you want, and in that experience you offered yourself much validation, reinforcement and motivation. But you also integrate the balance, so to speak, of presentment to yourself moments which you may explore in which you are not offering yourself a free expression of your choices.

At times, in the moments that you are genuinely continuing to hold your attention upon you and offering yourself the freedom of your expression in your choices of your wants, you create the outward expression of your pay-off through your perception of generating the response that you want from the other individual. But in the moments that you are doubting of yourself and you are turning your attention outwardly to the other individual, you are not creating a negative expression. What you are creating is an opportunity to view that you are not allowing yourself your choices.

Now; I may also express to you in this a genuine acknowledgment of you, that in offering yourself these moments you did present to yourself a recognition of what you do not want.

Now; the translation of that in thought may be slightly inaccurate or distorted, for it is being translated in relation to another individual and what you do not want to be expressed in another individual, but in this beginning experimentation it matters not that the initial translation incorporated some element of distortion, for it offers you information, regardless. It does offer you correct information concerning what you want to allow yourself, and this is what holds significance. Are you understanding thus far?

SHERI: Some of it, yeah.

ELIAS: Express to myself your confusion.

SHERI: Well, I guess I don't even know what my confusion is at this point.

ELIAS: Very well. Offer to myself one example - it matters not what example you choose - one example of any moment in interaction with this individual that you noticed that you are not generating fun.

SHERI: It wasn't fun when he didn't want to communicate. So I didn't know how to make it so... If it's my choice and everything, I figured I must not want to communicate, but it didn't feel good. It wasn't fun.

ELIAS: Very well.

Now; recognizing that you are generating the choice and creating the reality is one aspect of information, but this is actually conceptual. It is theoretical, for offering yourself an understanding objectively of what you are actually creating offers you much more information and moves the concept into reality.

SHERI: I kind of got that. I know it's not 100 percent, but I kind of got that when I looked at... I think what you said before was, "Look at what you're creating, not what you think you're creating."


SHERI: And I realized I was creating not being in a relationship with him.

ELIAS: Correct.

SHERI: Even though he was the one that was making the choice objectively to not communicate for a couple of weeks, I realized that I was actually doing that and I didn't want to be in a relationship. But I'm not sure why I didn't want it. I mean, it felt good at first.

ELIAS: Correct. But first of all, recognize that you created this as an experiment.

SHERI: It was a lot of fun! (Laughs)

ELIAS: And this is the aspect that you allowed yourself in validation.

Now; let us examine the big picture, so to speak.

SHERI: Please.

ELIAS: You created past experience in which you engaged a relationship with another individual as a partner for an extended time framework. Correct?

SHERI: Correct.

ELIAS: You also created an experience of discontinuing that relationship. Correct?

SHERI: Correct.

ELIAS: Now; in the discontinuation of that experience, in that time framework, what did you generate? Did you generate a communication emotionally of great joy?

SHERI: At times, yes. A sense of freedom, sense of exploration?

ELIAS: Subsequent. But in the time framework in which you were disengaging that relationship and within the time framework in which you were preparing to disengage that relationship...

SHERI: That was scary.

ELIAS: were not generating an emotional communication of joy or happiness, but rather fear, disappointment, discounting of yourself, and some communications concerning your assessment of yourself in failure.


ELIAS: Now; the expression of joy and happiness may be viewed as equally as strong and affecting as those that you view to be negative in fear, disappointment, failure and discounting yourself; but in that time framework, you moved these experiences into an association within yourself as absolutes, which is quite common within your physical dimension. This is not unique to you. Individuals generate experiences and subsequent to the experiences they associate them in terms of absolutes, which becomes quite affecting of subsequent experiences. For once you generate the association of absoluteness with an experience, you become suspicious of subsequent experiences that move in a similar expression.

With experiences that you deem to be positive, you validate yourself and you do not question your ability to generate a similar experience futurely. You have moved those experiences into an absolute association also, therefore it is the same action and is at times equally limiting. But in association with experiences that you deem to be negative, you become cautious and suspicious of yourself...

SHERI: And my ability to trust myself.

ELIAS: Correct.

Now; subsequent to the disengagement of that relationship, you offered yourself a considerable time framework, in relation to your beliefs, to allow yourself to explore self and to generate healing in association with your beliefs.

Now; in that action, you have actually generated a purposeful movement, for you have in a manner of speaking distanced yourself from the association of absoluteness with the negative expression of experiences in conjunction with your previous relationship. This allowed you a freedom to experiment and in a manner of speaking [to] test your own waters, test your abilities and your trust of yourself to generate another relationship with another individual and to not create what you have created previously.

Therefore, you allowed yourself a movement to be experimenting and to allow yourself to objectively view and validate to yourself whether you actually do create your reality and whether you actually incorporate the ability to create what you want in any particular time framework. You did allow yourself a validation, and you did allow yourself to genuinely objectively create what you wanted, temporarily.

Now; let us re-examine the introduction of the thought process. The thought process is translating the want in general terms and in relation to beliefs. Therefore, in general terms the thoughts are translating to you the want of this type of relationship in an on-going expression. You do actually generate a want to be incorporating a relationship with another individual in an on-going expression, but not necessarily with that one individual.

SHERI: Right. I knew it wasn't going to be forever, but I thought it would have been a little longer than it was.

ELIAS: But you have also been quite efficient, for regardless of the thought process in its inaccurate translation, you allowed yourself to turn your attention to yourself enough to generate the choice to discontinue the interaction in responsiveness to your own communication to yourself in knowing that you were not allowing yourself the type of expression of freedom that you want. You already viewed the potential of not allowing yourself to freely express yourself.

Now; it matters not, my friend, that you express to yourself now, "Ah, yes, but Elias, I viewed this in hindsight." No. Your thoughts are translating subsequently, for you continue to offer yourself information, and as you continue to offer yourself information concerning your choices, in a manner of speaking in your common vernacular, your thought process catches up with what you are actually generating in its accuracy of its translation.

SHERI: I have a couple of questions. Is there or was there a blueprint of him that I could have created that was communicating more what I thought I wanted? That's where it gets kind of confusing, because I think if he would have communicated I wouldn't have wanted out of the relationship.

ELIAS: No, you chose this individual specifically.

SHERI: Because he didn't want to communicate?

ELIAS: Knowing the energy expression that was being offered and expressed by this individual, you chose this individual specifically and purposefully to offer yourself information, to offer yourself the opportunity to view: one, the validation that you CAN offer yourself permission to generate the choices that you want and you do incorporate the ability to manifest that; but also, two, to purposefully illustrate to yourself those avenues in which you continue to not allow yourself your free expression of your choices.

SHERI: Am I heading in a direction, the way I'm going now - and I don't know if this is crystal-ballish or what - but am I heading in the direction that I'm going to be allowing myself my expressions freely and ... you know?

ELIAS: Yes. This is what you are expressing and this is the reason that you are choosing to be experimenting, to validate to yourself but also to create the balance and allow yourself to recognize the avenues in which you do not allow that free expression, therefore offering yourself choice. How may you recognize what you are denying to yourself if you do not present that to yourself and recognize it objectively?

SHERI: Okay, the other thing you said, that in general I was wanting this relationship, am I supposed to be more specific about what I want? This is another one of my questions. People tell me that you have to be very specific about what you want, and I kind of feel like that goes against the grain. I feel like that as I go along, eventually I'll know what I want, so I'll create or draw that to me.

ELIAS: You are correct. It is not a matter of you should be or must be specific in criteria of what you want in relation to another individual and relationship with another individual. I may express to you, you become specific automatically merely by allowing yourself to become more familiar with you, and this specificness is not necessarily expressed in thought or in images.

SHERI: Okay, I get that.

ELIAS: It is precisely what you are expressing to myself, merely a knowing of yourself and an allowance of yourself, and you shall generate the relationship that you want in knowing yourself.

SHERI: Okay, now, this is probably crystal-ballish and it's not on my list, but do you think I'll be doing this soon? (Laughs) I mean, am I getting closer?

ELIAS: (Laughs) Ah, now, these are two quite different questions. I may express to you that the first question is a crystal ball question, and this is dependant upon your choices.

SHERI: So you won't answer that one, right?

ELIAS: As to your second question, yes, you are generating more of an allowance of yourself and you are validating yourself and you are trusting yourself. As you continue to turn your attention more to yourself, you also generate an expression of energy that incorporates more potential of allowance of yourself to create that want.

SHERI: I really liked me in a relationship. That was fun. I liked how I reacted and acted and I had fun! (Both laugh) Did I have as much fun with [him] as I did with you?

ELIAS: At times.

SHERI: Oh, good! (Laughs with Elias)

This may be something that you don't want to get into, but I was wondering about the relationship from his perspective. What did he get out of it? Or is that something I shouldn't even be concerned about? I'm curious.

ELIAS: I am understanding. I shall express to you briefly, this individual has offered himself an opportunity to view more of an expression of freedom in offering himself a reflection through his receiving energy projections from you. He has also allowed himself an opportunity to more clearly view his reality in some aspects in appreciation of what he creates, which is significant for he does lean in an expression many times of discounting what he creates and not acknowledging to himself that it is actually his creation, but viewing it in his perception as being the creation of some thing or some other individual.

SHERI: Right, I noticed that. You had said in January when I asked you something like, "So I'm going to continue to be in his life," you said, "Yes." You didn't qualify it with "as the probabilities go," and yada-yada and all of that stuff. What was that about?

ELIAS: For in that moment and now you continue to be interactive. Regardless that you engage objective interaction, as you continue to concentrate your energy in relation to this individual and you generate communication to yourself in relation to this individual and you generate thought processes in relation to this individual, you continue to express an energy exchange, and he also generates the same.

SHERI: So he hasn't just totally tuned me out?


SHERI: In January I kind of was going for the fact of a physical relationship, not just the mind stuff.

ELIAS: I am understanding.

SHERI: That kind of was confusing when it was suddenly over.

Let me see, I have a couple of other things, and we're going to be running out of time. One of the things that I would like to know about is when he didn't call and I finally called him, and then he emailed and said he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, what I got from that, finally, was that when I don't pay attention to myself I feel blown off.


SHERI: That's what that was showing me?

ELIAS: Yes, for in this, in the time frameworks in which you are not paying attention to yourself, you also allow yourself to easily discount yourself and therefore you generate objective expressions through other individuals that reflect this.

This in actuality was quite precise. You were not paying attention to you, and what was his expression? To not be interactive with you and to not be objectively in contact with you, and your inward expression was not being in contact with you.

SHERI: With myself?

ELIAS: Correct. You quite literally projected that outwardly and created a precise expression in reflection to yourself through the other individual.

SHERI: Yeah, well, it sure didn't feel good.

When I feel like I'm being a victim - I think it's related - I get this tingling on the left side of my skull, the left upper side of my skull. Is that my little imagery to myself of "oh, you're doing the victim thing"?

ELIAS: It is yet again another communication to yourself to move your attention.

SHERI: Another thing, it felt like time, the concept of time, was involved in this relationship with [him] for some reason. I noticed time things a lot. Is that correct or...?

ELIAS: Yes, and what is your impression concerning this imagery?

SHERI: I guess I haven't really thought about... I realized with this imagery and the relationship and everything that I got a lot out of it in a little amount of time, and it seemed really significant. It was one of those things that seemed meant to be because of all of these things I noticed about time with me and other people and things that were going on. So I guess I'm not real sure.

ELIAS: You are correct that this also offers you information concerning what you view to be valuable and re-defining the expression of value, that value is not necessarily expressed in relation to time but that you do express quite a strong association with value in relation to time: a relationship shall be more valuable if it incorporates a tremendous expression of time. But what is actually valued in the expression of the relationship, the time or the quality of the experiences?

SHERI: The quality of the experiences. Cool!

Another thing, it felt like... Was [he] being dishonest with me, or was he being honest and then I just created it different or...? It felt like he was being dishonest. Then I figured that maybe he's reflecting a part of me that's being dishonest with me.

ELIAS: In what capacity?

SHERI: Well, at the end when he said that he wanted to look at his emotions and see what he was creating physically so he didn't do all this back stuff and everything again, and then just didn't call. I thought I was being accepting of the fact that he does things differently than I do, with the lack of communication and going within and what he was doing was backing off of the relationship and I'm over here making plans for the relationship. (Pause)

ELIAS: Honesty is a relative term...

SHERI: Yeah, I kind of knew that when I was writing the question.

ELIAS: ...and is very strongly associated with each individual's beliefs. I may express to you that what is significant is not what he was generating but the reflection that you offer to yourself in communication to yourself, not in defining honesty but in an expression of skepticism. You generated a time framework - temporarily, but a time framework - of expressing skepticism within yourself.

SHERI: About what I was creating?

ELIAS: Correct, and also concerning your ability to continue creating.

SHERI: Correct, I agree. I recognize that.

ELIAS: And therefore you translate this outwardly in relation to the other individual, and your perception is expressing to you that the other individual is not being honest.

This is irrelevant. What is significant is that you were attempting to offer yourself a communication concerning what you were generating in the moments within yourself in association with yourself.

SHERI: I hope I learn to not be skeptical because I would like to continue a relationship with someone.

ELIAS: Ah, but you are already generating an allowance of yourself, my friend, and you are already offering yourself information and recognitions objectively that you shall allow yourself to be validating rather than to be doubting of your ability.

SHERI: Okay, thanks! Can you tell me who Timmy Yeager is? He was in a dream in November and he came up to me and he said, "I'm Timmy Yeager," and we shook hands. (Pause)

ELIAS: Another focus.

SHERI: Of myself?


SHERI: Past? Future? Current? (Pause)

ELIAS: Past, recent past.

SHERI: He's not the Switzerland guy, is he?


SHERI: And also, what am I communicating to myself with these body temperature changes? (Pause)

ELIAS: They are bursts of energy.

SHERI: For what? I mean, I guess that sounds like a dumb question, but...

ELIAS: Not necessarily. In time frameworks in which you are holding to your energy and restricting it, you generate these energy bursts. Energy shall be expressed. You may not literally or actually contain it. Therefore, in the time frameworks in which you are restricting your flow of energy and holding to your energy field, you also generate these energy bursts to release energy outwardly.

SHERI: It feels like - I think I'm almost this close to understanding it - but it feels like when I'm not recognizing choices I get real hot.

ELIAS: Yes, for you are...

SHERI: After I get real hot, I get cold.

ELIAS: You are holding to your energy. You are constricting your energy, and in this you are also in a manner of speaking forcing it outwardly.

SHERI: I don't want to do that, do I?

ELIAS: In actuality, it matters not. It is a choice that you have incorporated to move your attention, but it is...

SHERI: Is there a way to release it without it being so distracting? I mean, I get REALLY hot, like sweaty hot, and then cold. I'm constantly opening the doors and throwing the covers off and getting... It's real distracting. Is there a way to do it without looking at every little detail of every thought to see what's going on?

ELIAS: It is not necessary to be examining or analyzing every detail and every thought, but merely to be acknowledging of yourself and relax.

SHERI: Acknowledge and relax - okay, I can do that.

Can you tell me real quick, my friend Amanda, her stats, you know, all of the usual stuff that we all ask?

ELIAS: Ah! (Sheri laughs) Very well. Essence name, Polly, P-O-L-L-Y. And your impression as to essence families?

SHERI: Oh, Sumari.


SHERI: Alignment? I'd say Vold, just because she's so "Vold-ish," but I don't really know if I know what I'm talking about! (Laughing)

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Reverse.

SHERI: I thought Sumari/Vold and then I thought I'll go with the first one. So she's Vold/Sumari?

ELIAS: Yes. Orientation, common.

SHERI: I thought that. I guess that's all of them, isn't it?

Sabrina, who was with me in January, wants to know if you can give her any insights into her and Dale. She said if you ask her for her impressions that I'm suppose to tell you she says, "This silent retreat - just go into her head and get it!"

ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha! Ah, incorporating the demands of the psychic! (Chuckles) You may express to her my invitation that she may offer her questions to myself and I shall engage conversation with her concerning her questions.

SHERI: I thought you might say that. (Elias laughs) She wants to have a group session in October with you.


SHERI: Cool, huh?

ELIAS: This may be quite playful!

SHERI: Yes, I thought so! (Laughs) I guess our time is about up, and so I guess it's time for Mary to come back.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend.

SHERI: Thank you very much!

ELIAS: And you are quite welcome.

SHERI: I'll be talking to you again.

ELIAS: I offer tremendous encouragement to you.

SHERI: Thank you.

ELIAS: Continue in your movement, my friend. I acknowledge you in your accomplishments.

SHERI: Thank you very much.

ELIAS: To you, as always in TREMENDOUS affection, au revoir.

SHERI: Bye-bye.

Elias departs at 4:07 PM.

©2004 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

Copyright 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.