Exercise: Paying Attention to Self in the Moment
"Exercise: Paying Attention to Self in the Moment"
Saturday, November 24, 2001 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Marje (Mikail)
Elias arrives at 12:06 pm. (Arrival time is 24 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
MARJE: Good morning! (Elias chuckles) It's a pleasure! This is a first for me, a private session.
ELIAS: Ah! And how shall we proceed?
MARJE: Well, I have a few questions, but I would also, at the end, like for you to give me any input on direction or anything you think I should truly be focusing on. But if I may, I'd like to start with a few questions where I'm stumped.
ELIAS: Very well.
MARJE: I think the biggest thing is trying to work on the concept that we create everything and specifically dis-ease, trying to figure out if all of these diseases and pain that I have created in my life in the last couple of years, one right after the other, if they've all been for the same pay-off or if each time it's been for some different reason. At this point, I don't know where to begin working, if that makes any sense.
ELIAS: I am understanding. Although in relation to your comment of not knowing where to begin, I may express to you that the beginning is NOW.
ELIAS: Therefore, let me express to you, understanding what you have generated in the past is not always an efficient manner for addressing to the present. For in actuality, although this is the method which is accepted en masse and reinforced through psychological beliefs, in actuality what you generate in this type of method is to be reinforcing your associations with past experiences as absolutes, which reinforces solidifying certain expressions that are automatic responses in an association with absolutes in the present and also reinforces projecting anticipation concerning the future. Are you understanding thus far?
ELIAS: As an example, an individual may create an experience of dis-ease in one moment and may generate that physical affectingness in association with a particular communication that they are offering to themselves.
We may incorporate an example of breathing. The individual may constrict their breathing in a particular time framework, and in that physical affectingness they may be communicating to themselves through this action that they are restricting their allowance of their expression in that particular moment, and they reflect to themselves this restriction of their energy through the creation of this physical affectingness.
Now; the individual may incorporate this same action of constriction of breath, and they may in another time framework be generating this action as a communication of the same action of restriction but perhaps in a different area. In one moment, they may be restricting of their expression outwardly; in another area, they may be restricting of their movement or their energy or their understanding or their noticing, but the action continues to be the same.
Now; as the individual recognizes and identifies that they create this action of constriction of their breath and they associate that with restricting of their expression in any manner, the action of the physical constriction of breath, the experience, becomes an absolute. Therefore, there is an automatic association.
Now; in your VAST creativity, you may choose to be incorporating the constriction of breath, in a manner of speaking, for an entirely different reason at one point; but you do not offer yourself clear or accurate information for you have already created an automatic association with this particular physical affectingness.
MARJE: So that's where I'm going with my low back and my legs, is I'm restricting the flow of energy and creating pain, but I'm not aware of the message that I'm trying to give myself as to why I'm creating this restriction.
ELIAS: No. This was an example of automatic associations concerning past experiences and how they are generated into absolutes in present associations and projection into future anticipation.
In actuality, what you are creating in association with this physical affectingness that you generate is a signal, which is in actuality the situation with all physical dis-ease. It is an avenue of communication to yourself, and in this communication what you are expressing to yourself is the identification of a lack of allowance and supportiveness to self. You are not constricting energy. You are focusing and directing energy to a particular physical expression within your physical body consciousness and creating this painfulness as a signal concerning your lack of supportiveness and allowance to self.
MARJE: So as I (sigh) work on supporting myself and allowing myself to be in the state that I'm in, I can ease the pain that I'm experiencing?
MARJE: And choose to create a comfort zone instead of so much pain?
ELIAS: Correct, by allowing yourself to focus your attention upon self rather than projecting your attention outwardly and attempting to be offering to other individuals what you want to be expressing within self.
MARJE: Okay, that relieves me somewhat, because I was fearful that my disease and my pain was some sort of a pay-off within the relationship that I was involved in...
MARJE: ...and what you're telling me is that, no, in actuality it is the signaling to myself to pay attention to self and to allow myself to be supportive of self...
MARJE: ...and thusly not experience the pain because I won't need that signal. I'll be working on myself in another manner.
MARJE: It has nothing to do with the relationship, it has to do with...
ELIAS: Ahhh! I am not expressing this to you! I may express to you...
MARJE: Well, it has to do with the relationship in the sense that I was focusing outward and into the relationship instead of self.
MARJE: But it didn't have anything per se to do with the relationship. It was just not dealing with self.
MARJE: Okay, that makes sense.
ELIAS: And continues, for you continue to focus your attention outwardly in relation to other individuals. You have merely moved your attention from one individual to another individual.
MARJE: And I do that often...
ELIAS: I am aware.
MARJE: ...and so I create a great deal of pain, and I am really tired of being in pain.
MARJE: It weighs heavy.
ELIAS: (Gently) And perhaps you shall allow yourself to be moving your attention to you and therefore discontinue creating this signal, for it shall be unnecessary. Perhaps you shall offer yourself a new expression of freedom.
MARJE: I have tried affirmations. I've tried to tell myself what I choose and to focus on those things, and have had momentary or fleeting moments of relief and freedom, but can instantly at any moment go right back into the pain and right back into not focusing on me. And that I can do in a regular workday, let alone in any given relationship.
ELIAS: But in generating this painfulness, you do pay attention to some aspect of yourself, do you not?
MARJE: Oh, it'll bring me right back, yes! (Elias chuckles) Right back, so then I have to ask myself what is the underlying message from the signal, each and every time.
ELIAS: Temporarily, to the point that you become familiar with yourself and with the action of holding your attention upon you.
MARJE: You make that sound so easy! (Laughing)
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha! Let me express to you, my friend, in this you may offer yourself a method of practicing in which you allow yourself in any particular moment in your interactions with other individuals to turn your attention, in a manner of speaking, away from the expression of the other individual.
You may generate this exercise in any moment. It need not be expressed merely in moments of conflict. But within any moment allow yourself a practice exercise in which, merely incorporating a few moments within your time framework, you discontinue paying attention to the other individual and allow yourself to move your attention to you and explore in that moment what YOU are generating inwardly, whether you are offering yourself a communication through emotion, whether you are generating an expression of calm, whether you are generating an expression of tension within your physical muscles, how you are perceiving the interaction which is occurring. What is your physical body expressing?
You may in actuality create this practice exercise within any moment, in any situation, in any interaction with any individual, and objectively the other individual shall not incorporate an awareness of what you are creating, for you may appear to be continuing the interaction with the other individual. In actuality you are momentarily allowing yourself an awareness of what YOU are generating in that particular interaction.
Now; if you are allowing yourself to be generating this practice exercise merely momentarily, you may become aware of the ease in creating this action. It shall also validate within you your actual ability to be intentionally objectively moving your attention, and shall reinforce your trust within your ability to be creating that action. Recognizing where an individual's attention is directed is in actuality quite unfamiliar. For the most part, individuals associate their attention with thinking. Therefore, moving their attention is also associated with changing thoughts, and this is not the expression of attention.
Therefore, it is beneficial to allow yourself these types of exercises to familiarize yourself with attention itself and that you do incorporate the ability to move your attention intentionally and continue to be interactive with other individuals. You may surprise yourself in the difference of expression which is created merely through the action of moving your attention.
MARJE: This I will definitely have to work on! (Elias laughs) I will put it into practice, and practice until it becomes second nature.
ELIAS: Ah! Ha ha ha! And this is the creation of familiarity! Ha ha ha!
MARJE: Yes, yes!
Which brings me to the point, because I know with all of the transcripts I've been reading and everything else, and the difference between the fact that emotion is a communication and not defining the emotion itself but trying to define what the communication is, I've been so ANGRY and VERY emotional ... I mean (sigh) WAVES of emotion, where they're in extremes from great anger to on the verge of tears at the blink of an eye, and obviously it all comes back to not paying attention to self. I have to wonder if there's just something in particular that I am missing here.
ELIAS: Anger is an extreme...
MARJE: And I'm angry often.
ELIAS: Anger is a signal which contains the message that you are not allowing yourself choice, period - that you are, in that moment, expressing to yourself that you incorporate NO choice.
MARJE: And I project that outwardly.
MARJE: So in other words, my anger projected outwardly makes other people feel as if they have caused me not to have choices, and yet it's me that has created this belief that I have no choice.
ELIAS: Correct, although I may express to you, what you are generating outwardly is also your creation. You are creating the other individuals through your perception as a reflection to yourself. In the moments that you are expressing this anger within self, this lack of choice in extreme within self, you project that energy outwardly and you create these manifestations through your perception of other individuals reflecting this anger to you.
MARJE: Well, I've had a lot of years of practice at that! (Elias chuckles) It's caused a great deal of conflict.
ELIAS: In the moments that you are expressing this signal of anger, you may also incorporate this practice exercise and allow yourself a momentary stop-point in which you shift your attention to you and merely recognize that you are expressing to yourself that you incorporate no choice.
I may express to you, my friend, merely this action that you may consider to be brief and small, and perhaps even incomplete, shall allow you to move your attention and to express to yourself that you do incorporate choice.
In this one action you may in actuality surprise yourself once again in how quickly you shall offer to yourself, merely in the act of noticing, a recognition of specific choices. Merely the action of noticing your communication to yourself that you are expressing to yourself that you hold no choice, this noticing in itself many times generates an immediate opening for response to yourself to recognize that you do incorporate choices and you may offer yourself specific identifications of some of your choices.
MARJE: That just felt like a deja vu moment! (Elias chuckles) As if I've heard you say this to me before and it didn't register! (Both laugh)
But I've also been so extreme with emotions that I start to cry immediately, and in my wanting to always be strong, I can't stand the emotional me. I have no tolerance.
ELIAS: Ah, and I may express to you that the more you struggle and the more intensely you FORCE your energy AGAINST your communications, the STRONGER your communications become.
MARJE: Can you give me some insight into my relationship that I just walked away from? Did I leave this relationship as a result of knowing that I needed to focus on myself and pay attention to myself, or was it because I was beginning to trust in my intuition and my instincts as to what was going on outside of the relationship - if that makes any sense.
ELIAS: I am understanding. I may express to you, what you have translated as your intuition concerning what has occurred outside of the relationship was not your motivation.
MARJE: Was not what? I'm sorry.
ELIAS: Was not your motivation, and in actuality matters not. This is an automatic association with mass beliefs to offer yourself a rational excuse or permission to be expressing the choice that you have engaged. But the actual motivation which generated this choice was a communication to yourself, almost in what you may define as a point of desperation, to be gaining your attention concerning you.
You have been generating signals to yourself for an extensive time framework and you have not been listening to the message, and in this choice you have moved into a direction of beginning to listen to you and to allow yourself to receive the messages.
MARJE: But again I took it to an extreme and felt the need to remove myself from a relationship in order to do that.
ELIAS: It matters not.
MARJE: Well, why does it feel so strongly like it does matter? I've tortured myself. (Emotionally)
ELIAS: For you are also confronting very strongly expressed beliefs that you incorporate. And be remembering, my friend, in the movement of this shift in consciousness, you are not attempting to change or to eliminate your beliefs but merely to recognize that they are incorporated, that they do exist, and that you do align with many beliefs but that you also are not subject to them, that you incorporate choice.
Therefore, you may also be recognizing that you are generating a tremendous movement in this time framework to the point at times of overwhelming yourself (Marje laughs), and in overwhelming yourself you create these time frameworks in which you express this action of sobbing.
Now; let me express to you first of all, in relation to this action my suggestion is that you allow - and we shall emphasize this particular word as your affirmation to yourself, temporarily: allow, allow, allow! - allow yourself to discontinue forcing your energy against this action, for what you are creating with this action is a natural release of tension.
You have become so very familiar with incorporating tension within your energy and within your physical body consciousness that you do not recognize the extent of this expression of tension, and therefore you continue and continue to intensify this tension to the point of holding so very tightly to your energy that in not allowing yourself to express that energy, it erupts.
(Emphatically) Energy shall be expressed! It may not be continuously contained. You may attempt to contain energy temporarily, but in the incorporation of such tension and such force in containment you create what I have associated previously in an expression of "geysers." Some individuals create these geysers in the expressions of anger, some individuals express geysers in physical extremes, some in expressions of sobbing. The action of crying is not always associated with an actual emotional communication. (Pause)
MARJE: But it is.
ELIAS: In your beliefs, but in actuality the action of crying is not always associated with an emotional communication. An individual may generate the action of crying and subsequently offer themselves an emotional communication, for you believe that emotion is accompanied by crying in certain expressions and that crying is a reaction of emotion; but I may express to you, the action of crying is an eruption of energy. It is the physical body consciousness's incorporation of action to release tension, to release energy.
MARJE: Whatever possessed me to try to rein in my energy in the first place? I don't know what made me think that I had to be something for someone else, or control myself, or not be who I wanted to be or do what I wanted to do, and ultimately rein in my energy and spend so many years so tightly wound up.
ELIAS: Yes. This is in association with mass expressed beliefs. But I may express to you that now you may allow yourself, for now you are beginning to recognize what you have been generating in automatic responses. And DO NOT COMPOUND your overwhelming expressions in expressing JUDGMENT also (Marje laughs) upon yourself for what you have generated pastly.
MARJE: Oh, much easier said than done! (Laughs)
ELIAS: Allow yourself to recognize that all that you have created has been purposeful and has been beneficial, for you are recognizing in this now, are you not?
MARJE: Yes, I am.
ELIAS: And what you have generated in experiences and what you have created pastly has also been beneficial, for these experiences offer you a tremendous clue concerning you and what you express as a natural generation of your energy.
And what is it that you may recognize in wonderment of yourself that you have created consistently throughout your focus? Regardless of how you judge all of these experiences that you have created pastly, what is the wonderment that is expressed so VERY consistently within your focus, my friend? Shall I offer it to you?
MARJE: Please, because I drifted and I'm not sure now.
MARJE: Oh, absolutely!
ELIAS: You express a TREMENDOUS passion within your focus in MANY different diverse expressions...
MARJE: Yes, I do.
ELIAS: ...in many different directions. You consistently express, in whichever direction you choose, a tremendous passion.
Now; you may allow yourself to view your experiences that you have created pastly, and rather than expressing judgment to yourself concerning these experiences, in viewing them allow yourself the wonderment of the passion that has been expressed so consistently. Regardless of whether you deem the experiences to be good or bad, they contain the same expression of energy.
MARJE: And in so doing, will it allow me to let go?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking. Rather, I shall express to you, perhaps in allowing yourself this recognition, you may allow yourself to embrace yourself rather than to let go of yourself. Ha ha ha!
MARJE: Oh, okay! (Laughs)
ELIAS: And appreciate your efficiency in expressing this passion and perhaps incorporate this term of "allowance" without restriction, for you shall generate this passion regardless!
MARJE: (Laughs) How true! (Elias chuckles)
Which kind of brings me to a key point. When I was in my teens and early twenties I had many visions, very clear visions. I had many dreams, and sometimes I allowed myself to see them and understand them and other times they scared me. They stopped, or I don't see them or I don't notice them or I don't allow them through lately. At a point in my life when I know I chose a particular experience ... and I must make reference to something that C9 said to me. C9 told me that I chose to forget a second time, that we choose to forget when we come into this physicality, but I chose to forget a second time to go into and experience a particular situation in my life, a large time framework, actually.
I guess what I'm asking is that with embracing myself and embracing my passion and choosing to remember, will I allow the visions and the dreams, those messages, to again flow naturally? I've been trying to do affirmations asking for them back, and as you stated to me in Pennsylvania, that in so doing I dropped the veils at a time when the mass event in New York happened. It all happened to me all at once. When asking for my small amount of visions and dreams and communications with consciousness, I did it at a time when a mass event occurred, and I dropped the veils and scared the daylights out of myself (Elias chuckles) and could not handle all the communication, and thusly tried to again hold off all the energy...
MARJE: ...and I asked you then if I was doing more harm in holding off that energy. Do I do that to myself on a regular basis, and have I prevented my visions and my dreams?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, yes.
MARJE: I used to have some very informative visions.
ELIAS: And if you are so choosing, you may allow yourself this type of communication again, but the manner in which you shall allow it shall be created in paying attention to you, rather than seeking outside of yourself.
MARJE: So in other words, asking for it isn't going to make it happen. Paying attention to self will.
MARJE: I know we're getting close on time. Is there anything that you can ... I mean, you've given me a lot of information and I feel it all kind of relates back to the same factors. Is there anything in particular that you feel I should be focusing on at this time?
ELIAS: Noticing and focusing your attention upon you in relation to forcing energy.
MARJE: Is that what I'm also doing with my mother?
MARJE: Because we have experienced MUCH conflict between us a lot lately.
ELIAS: Correct, and if you are incorporating your practice exercise, you may be noticing also that the conflict shall dissipate.
Remember, genuinely it matters not what another individual expresses or chooses. What holds importance is what YOU choose and what YOU express, for what the other individual is expressing is generated through your perception. Therefore, ultimately the most significant action is what YOU are choosing, what YOU are creating. The other individual shall be a reflection of what you generate. You do interact with another individual's energy, but the actual physical expression of the individual is created through your perception.
Therefore, what is significant is not what the other individual projects to you in energy, but how you configure that energy and project it outwardly through your perception.
Therefore, my friend, I shall express to you in closing, so to speak, be noticing.
MARJE: Yes, I have my homework! (Laughs, and Elias chuckles) And I am looking forward to future conversations.
ELIAS: Very well, and I shall be anticipating of our interactions also.
MARJE: Thank you.
ELIAS: And I shall also offer to you my expression of energy, to be encouraging as you incorporate your practice. (Chuckles)
MARJE: Thank you! I greatly appreciate it! (Laughing with Elias) Oh, thank you, Elias!
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I express to you great affection. In lovingness this day, au revoir.
MARJE: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 1:07 PM.
(1) Originally stated as: "...allow yourself the wonderment in viewing them of the passion that has been expressed so consistently."
©2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.