Accepting ALL Your Expressions
"Accepting ALL Your Expressions"
"The Straight Little Sapling Story"
Saturday, October 27, 2001 (Private/In Person)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Aili and Stephen
Elias arrives at 10:41 AM. (Arrival time is 31 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
AILI: Good morning, Elias.
AILI: Welcome to you, too.
ELIAS: And how shall we proceed this morning?
AILI: Well, Elias, I'm here with my husband Stephen. We've been together for 30 years.
AILI: It's a little more than even I thought!
STEPHEN: And a half. (Aili laughs)
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha! Attention to details!
STEPHEN: I need a question first before she begins her whatever.
ELIAS: Very well.
STEPHEN: Why did I have a tantrum coming to see you? (Pause)
ELIAS: Hmm. You interact with energy in what may be termed as a forceful manner. You create this type of response within your focus not merely this day.
In this, what is occurring is an influx of energy or what may be termed as an energy surge, and as you encounter these energy surges in any particular moment, your automatic response is not necessarily to buffer the energy but to repel. I may express to you, you may recognize throughout your focus what you term to be a tantrum. This response may not necessarily be prompted by any actual action physically. It is not necessarily prompted by some action that may be visibly seen, so to speak.
STEPHEN: We got lost a little bit, and that seemed to trigger something in me way out of bounds from what being seven miles lost would indicate.
ELIAS: Correct. But within physical focus, I may express to you, it is quite common to attempt to attach a rational reason. Regardless of how inappropriate it may appear to you to be or how weakly it explains your behavior, you attempt to attach some type of explanation. In actuality there is an explanation, but it is not that you became lost.
STEPHEN: Well, I know that. (Elias laughs) I know that.
ELIAS: This is a response to energy.
STEPHEN: That makes more sense.
ELIAS: In this, throughout your focus at times, in moments in which you are receiving surges of energy, in like manner to this day as you are moving in the direction of encountering this energy space, so to speak, for you have physically presented yourselves here...
AILI: Stephen, would you move next to me? (To Elias) It's easier for me to concentrate on what you're saying if he's sitting next to me.
ELIAS: Very well.
STEPHEN: I'll have to move the chair because I need a back...
AILI: It's okay. Yes, I understand. The turning of your head, Elias, it's hard for me to follow what you're saying because I'm looking at your head more than your words.
ELIAS: Very well. As I have expressed, you experience energy surges which you may not necessarily recognize objectively, but you are responding.
Now; I may also express to you that you may easily address to this situation. As you begin to recognize a tension within your physical body, you may turn your attention to that and intentionally focus upon your physical body, which shall distract your response to the energy influx.
STEPHEN: Do I want to do that?
ELIAS: (Gently) It is your choice. I may express to you, I am aware that you experience conflict in these moments. If you choose to continue experiencing conflict for the experience, this is acceptable.
STEPHEN: See, but the problem is I then become angry or whatever, and anybody that's near me, particularly my wife, experiences attack. So that's no good. On the one hand, I want to be able to experience what I'm experiencing, but on the other hand I don't want to be attacking anybody.
What happened was she immediately noticed I was angry and said that, and that provoked more anger because I was hearing, "You're not allowed to be angry." You know, like a child would experience something - "you're not allowed to feel that" - so that made more anger. Finally it got directed at her - she almost like called it on herself - which is not something that's any good.
ELIAS: (Continues in a very gentle, quiet manner) I am understanding.
Let me express to you, anger is a signal. Individuals expressing anger are presenting a signal to themselves which is communicating to you that you are unaware of your choices within the moment. You are experiencing a moment in which you view you do not incorporate any choices.
Anger is an extreme of frustration. Frustration is a communication that you recognize that you incorporate choices, but you are confused in viewing those choices. This may escalate into an extreme in which you view that you incorporate no choices any longer. This is an expression of anger.
As you view that you incorporate no choice, you become a victim of your own expression, and in this, you project an energy outwardly. Other individuals receive that energy and they also express underlyingly an experience of victim, for they express defense; and in defense you are also expressing an experience of victim in which you experience what you term to be an outside attack. But in actuality, you are holding tightly to your energy in protection and this is another expression of victim; and as you continue, you perpetuate with each other.
AILI: On that note, I would like to then continue with a question that I have which I think, Elias, will go into that in another way. My question is this: what review or understanding are Stephen and I making in this lifetime about our sexual abstinence? I have a feeling that it has to do with some of what you just explained about our energy and the way we work with victim. I'm not sure; I need to understand it better.
ELIAS: Offer to myself explanation of your assessment of "review."
AILI: I've been reading a book from a lady named Nancy Tappe about energy in terms of colors, and the fact that there are children coming in today she calls "Indigo" because of the certain color around them. I thought I might have been an older Indigo until I started reading that the color she says that maybe surrounds me is violet, which are souls coming in now who are older, souls here to review their learning rather than having life learnings; they're here to review.
Because Stephen and I have chosen, in some way that I'm not understanding, this sexual abstinence between us, I'm wondering if there's some review that I'm trying to understand, something I'm looking at. I don't know what it is, but I want to know what it is. We've been at this for a long time, and I need some kind of understanding about it so I can let go of it, whatever it might be. So this is why I ask the question.
ELIAS: Very well.
AILI: This is why he's here, too.
ELIAS: Very well.
AILI: This is for both of us.
ELIAS: First of all, I shall express to you, the information that you are presenting yourself with is quite steeped in beliefs. I may also express to you as clarification, I am aware of this belief concerning small ones, or those that you identify as young, and the association with this color. I may express to you quite simply, in this present now you are all, within your physical dimension upon this planet, participating in what has been termed as a global shift in consciousness.
Now; in this new century, this shift in consciousness is being now inserted into your objective reality. ALL small ones are manifesting in this time framework with a wider awareness, for they are manifesting in the objective throes of this shift in consciousness.
Now; you also are participating in this shift in consciousness and widening your awarenesses. Let me express to you, you are not participating in a race; you are not manifest in this physical dimension to learn or to teach or to be taught. You are essences of consciousness - you already know.
You have manifest in this physical dimension to explore and experience this particular physical design of consciousness. You are travelers. No other individual within your physical dimension possesses more knowledge or more spirituality or more awareness than you. Therefore, what shall you learn from another individual? I am not a teacher, nor is any other individual within your physical dimension, for this implies that another individual holds more knowledge than do you or that you are less than any other individual, and you are not.
That said, I shall also express to you, within the design of this physical dimension you have incorporated belief systems. These belief systems contain, so to speak, many, many, many expressions, many aspects.
Now; in these belief systems there are many expressions that are aligned with en masse, and all of you participate in the expressions of them. There are many beliefs concerning sexuality. I may also express to you, one of these belief systems is identified as duplicity. This particular belief system moves differently from all other belief systems, for it intertwines itself and attaches itself to all other belief systems. This is the belief system of judgment: right and wrong, good and bad, better and worse. Therefore, as you address to beliefs concerning sexuality, per se, you also involve duplicity in the judgments concerning the expressions of sexuality.
Now; I am quite willing to explore with you your concern in relation to your choices concerning sexuality, and shall request that you offer to myself what you identify as most concerning. Merely your choice?
ELIAS: And express to myself what distresses you concerning your choice.
AILI: That I live in a culture that is giving me messages that I'm not good enough.
ELIAS: Ah! For you should comply with the mass beliefs.
AILI: Yes, and it's hard.
ELIAS: (Very gently) Let me express to you my friend, in this shift in consciousness, moving outside of the mass beliefs is an objective. Therefore, although you may be experiencing discomfort, your expression of discomfort is arising, so to speak, from your alignment with those beliefs also. You express to myself you wish to let go.
ELIAS: I may express to you, offer yourself permission to recognize that this is your choice. Choice is not right or wrong. It merely is a choice. If you are within agreement with each other in your choices, it matters not what other individuals express or perceive. What holds significance is that you acknowledge yourself. You are creating all of your reality; other individuals do not create one moment.
AILI: Along with that, Elias, I think that it's very important to me to not be alone in that choice, and so I think that this is a moment when I ask Stephen to have some conversation with me about that. Because I've always felt that this choice I've made is one that I've made alone rather than in partnership with him. I think what I used to bring into that energy was victim energy, and I'd now like to let go of that and just acknowledge my choices...
AILI: ...and have him acknowledge the fact that he made some choices, too, so that we could have that dialog and honor each other's choices rather than do this victim thing.
AILI: This is where I am. This is where I'm bringing my energy, and I need to hear where Stephen is with that.
ELIAS: I may express to you, this role of victim is quite familiar.
AILI: With both of us?
ELIAS: Yes, and with many other individuals.
AILI: Yes, I understand. I want to get past that, because it's given me pain and it doesn't serve me any more. I would like to have the situation where the dialog is one about choices that he and I have made, and honor that.
ELIAS: Very well.
AILI: (To Stephen) Where are you with that?
STEPHEN: Well, I think I was only meant to connect with one person in the world, and that's her.
ELIAS: This also is a choice.
STEPHEN: I feel it's not easy to connect with me and it's not easy for me to connect with anybody, at least in this incarnation of where I am. So we had to connect in order to do this; we had to do it without the physical, sexual part. It makes it much deeper.
My connection is very deep, which is what it has to be. I feel it more in her absence sometimes than in her presence, which is part of what makes it difficult to connect with me. I don't really express it in her presence that much; I feel it more in her absence. It's very deep. It's like devastating, and she was complicit with me in this for some reason and that had to be her choice. This connection is much deeper than most people experience.
She doesn't really quite understand it a lot of times, and why would she? I think I understand it pretty well. We've had the conversation like "how come when I'm not around it's so difficult for you, but when I am it doesn't seem to matter." It's because when you're around I feel the connection, and then when you're not around I don't. But where does that leave her a lot of times? So it's been better, but never to the point where we actually bring the sexual energy part into it. It's always been detached.
That's what I understand about what I was doing. I don't understand why she's been complicit with it. That's for her to figure out, I guess.
ELIAS: Both of you are creating choices. I may express to you, you also are both creating choices in agreement with each other.
Now; I may express to you both, the manner in which you shall allow yourselves to be discontinuing the conflict that you generate within yourselves is to be focusing your attention upon yourselves.
Let me express to you, you are quite focusing your attentions upon each other. Each of you projects your attention outwardly to each other and are in different manners and different expressions focusing your attention so strongly upon each other that your concern is with the other individual and not with self.
Now; in agreement with each other you have moved for quite a time framework in this expression; but in the expression of energy which is moving now, this shall no longer fit and you shall be experiencing what you are experiencing, conflict and what you term to be turmoil, for the movement of energy is expressing the turning to self, the acceptance of self. The natural by-product of acceptance of self is acceptance of the other individual; it shall naturally be expressed. But without the acceptance of self, without offering yourself permission to accept your choices and your expressions, your wants - (to Stephen) even accepting your want to be experiencing a rise of energy, not necessarily anger but the rise of energy - in not allowing yourself to accept your natural expressions and your choices, you automatically project your attention into what is familiar, and this is to project your attention to the other individual, and this promotes judgment.
STEPHEN: Okay, well that hits it. But how do you do that? How do you get self-acceptance? Because I think that's exactly the problem. My issue is I'm not okay.
ELIAS: But you are, my friend.
STEPHEN: But I guess deep down I don't really believe it.
ELIAS: I am aware.
STEPHEN: When somebody gives me an unacceptable "you're not okay" statement, a lot of anger rises up. I've always realized if I could be at peace with myself that I wouldn't need to be angry at what somebody does because they have a different agenda or whatever.
STEPHEN: But how do you do that?
ELIAS: This is what I am expressing to you both. You express in different manners. (To Stephen) You express in anger. (To Aili) You express in discounting of yourself and depressing your energy.
AILI: Oh, yes. I've done that a lot.
ELIAS: In this, I am expressing to you: practice, NOTICE. This is the greatest term in your vocabulary. (Very deliberately) Notice what you are actually choosing and doing in the moment. Hold your attention in the now - not previous, not anticipating future, in the now. And I am quite aware that this shall require practice.
You have created a cycle of familiarity, and you have both created a tremendous energy within you each of discounting of yourselves, and you have become quite familiar with the reinforcement of it. Therefore, your greatest tool presently shall be to notice. As you notice in the moment, you offer yourselves quite objective signals: tension, depression.
In this, as you physically begin to experience these expressions in the moment, turn your attention to you. Discontinue projecting your attention outside of yourself to objects, to situations, to circumstances, to each other, to other individuals. It matters not. STOP, and turn your attention to you. In that moment, offer yourself permission to be expressing what you are expressing in the moment. It is not wrong. Acknowledge yourself regardless of what you are expressing or what you perceive that any other individual shall perceive of you. It matters not.
As you continue to practice acknowledging of yourself, you shall begin to recognize that your choices are merely choices. Your experiences are experiences, and you shall continue to turn your attention to you and not concern yourself with projecting it to other individuals. This validates you. It continues to validate you, and it becomes easier and easier. Although you may not believe initially that you incorporate great worth, you shall. For in the acknowledgment of self, you shall begin to believe this.
Let me express to you, my friends, view yourselves in what you have created and the strength of it, the power of it. You hold that same strength and power to express the acknowledgment of yourselves.
STEPHEN: Let's say you do that, because that makes good sense. But here's the ... let's see if I can ask this right. Let's say you're in a group of people and you do that, and you get rejected by that group of people. Let's say you're in another group of people and you do that, you acknowledge what you're doing, why you're doing it, and you get lots of approval. There is a big difference in how you proceed. On the one hand, it's kind of like you're the Lone Ranger trying to make your way through a hostile world, and the other way everybody's telling me how wonderful I am. I think we've all experienced both.
ELIAS: Quite, and initially this may be quite affecting, for it is quite familiar. You employ automatic responses.
STEPHEN: That's a learned thing. It's always nice to hear good things about yourself as opposed to...
ELIAS: Quite! For you acquire, in your beliefs, your validation of worth through the expressions of other individuals. (Softly) But you do not. This is an expression of your beliefs.
STEPHEN: So in the end it really doesn't matter what group I happen to be in.
ELIAS: Correct. What matters, what holds significance is YOUR perception.
STEPHEN: Because I've witnessed myself in the present...
STEPHEN: ...what I'm doing...
STEPHEN: ...why I'm doing it and whatever, and accepting myself for doing it.
STEPHEN: That's Gestalt stuff, isn't it? Fritz Pearls?
ELIAS: HA HA HA HA! Not quite, my friends! (Aili laughs, and Elias chuckles)
STEPHEN: What's different?
ELIAS: Let me express to you, this genuine acceptance of self and of your beliefs...
STEPHEN: Goes a little deeper than here and now stuff.
STEPHEN: I understand. I'm unaware a lot, but I'm not stupid.
ELIAS: Ah, I may express to you, you are not unaware. You are quite aware, my friend. I may express to you both, you incorporate much more awareness of yourselves than you offer to yourselves in acknowledgment.
Let me also express to you, view yourselves as paintings, and in this, what you discount yourselves the most concerning are your shadows, those aspects of yourselves that you view to be unacceptable. But in this painting of yourself, if you are not incorporating the shadows you also do not incorporate the depth. The brightness may be pleasing, but it is also flat. Therefore, accept the depth of yourselves and recognize that all of your expressions, all of your experiences contribute to the depth of your expression of yourselves.
AILI: Stephen, we have a little more time, about ten minutes. I have something I would like to address. Do you?
STEPHEN: You go ahead.
AILI: Are you all right with where you are?
STEPHEN: I just have one question, then you finish it up.
AILI: That's why I'm asking, you know, where are you with it?
STEPHEN: What is it that makes some people - and I know this is off the subject because I understand that it comes from within - what is it that makes some people respond positively to you and some people not?
AILI: Just in general, right?
STEPHEN: Yes, because with me it's like people strongly respond positively to me or ... it's usually one way or the other, and it's me being the same. I've never been really clear on what the difference is.
ELIAS: It is dependent upon the individual, in actuality. It is an energy exchange. Some individuals may respond to your expression of energy and may experience a comfort in a recognition of similarity; some individuals may repel in a recognition of difference.
Let me express to you my friend, you validate in sameness; you experience threat in difference. This is the point of acceptance.
STEPHEN: So the statement "opposites attract" is incorrect?
ELIAS: Partially. I may express to you, in actuality there are no opposites. (Chuckles) There are differences, and expressions may appear to be opposites, but in actuality what you view to be opposites are much more closely aligned than what appears objectively.
Individuals respond to energy expressions. This is literal. You all respond to energy much more than any other expression that you engage with each other. You communicate much more in energy than you do in any other manner, and it is an immediate recognition. Therefore, if you are expressing like energy, you shall attract. This is a natural expression.
I may also express to you there are other movements which may offer a contribution to these types of expressions. There are countless expressions of counterpart action between individuals, and in the different types of expressions of counterpart action, individuals may draw themselves together or may quite repel each other. (Pause)
STEPHEN: (To Aili) Go ahead.
AILI: Does that work for you?
STEPHEN: Well, there's more I could ask, but I think it's your time. See how nice I am. (Elias laughs) I'll just say this, it makes a lot of sense to me that I would have had anger coming into this energy.
STEPHEN: In fact, it would be rather surprising if I didn't, because I do have ... I know I'm a strong energy creator, and I know that.
STEPHEN: So, actually what happened had to happen. (Elias chuckles) Go ahead.
AILI: You told me earlier that we were in a transformation. I'm realizing that after 25 years in the field of education that I need to go and move on and express myself in other ways, that I have expressed myself as much as I choose at this point to express myself, and I think in some ways it's an alignment with what we've been talking about. My second question is this: what attitude must I hold in order to increase my service to others through my private practice, workshops and presentations, upon my leaving education this year?
ELIAS: (Softly) Be the straight little sapling, my friend.
AILI: Help me with that. I'm not quite clear I understand it.
ELIAS: I have offered a small story nearing the onset of this phenomenon. In this, I have presented a story of two little saplings. One is a straight little sapling, and it merely is. It grows, and it radiates, and it merely is within its being. It accepts itself, it trusts itself, and it expresses no need to be creating any other expression but its mere being.
Alongside of this straight little sapling is a quite convoluted little sapling, and this convoluted little sapling is continuously questioning its existence. It is continuously analyzing and questioning how it shall grow, in what direction it shall grow, whether it shall be incorporating too much water or too much sun, whether it shall be more beneficial to it to grow within the darkness and the moonlight or whether it shall facilitate its growth more within the sunlight. As it continues to question itself, it twists and becomes more and more convoluted, and all the while the straight little sapling merely continues to grow in its natural expression. In this, the convoluted little sapling notices the straight little sapling, and it questions how this straight little sapling is not bending itself and is not incorporating conflict and is merely radiating.
The straight little sapling offers no advice; it offers no bending to the convoluted little sapling. It merely continues to be. And in its being, the convoluted little sapling views it and expresses to itself, "Ah, perhaps if I am incorporating like action to this little sapling, I may incorporate no more conflict." It shall straighten itself. The greatest offering that the straight little sapling expresses is to merely be, for it offers an example.
AILI: That has to go back to, Stephen ... it's really another way of asking the same question I asked first, which was about expression and honoring one's own expression, whether it has to do with you and me or whether it has to do with anything that we do. It's honoring our own expression.
ELIAS: Yes, trusting and accepting.
STEPHEN: Then we don't have to be angry or depressed or any of that other good stuff that we enjoy doing so much in our little world.
STEPHEN: Before we let him go, this is the question you've been getting from everybody. It's almost like we're standing in quicksand now. How do we proceed in the world?
AILI: You mean with September 11?
STEPHEN: I mean with the way the world is now. It's like what people have been saying for a long time seems to be upon us. Now how do we proceed?
ELIAS: You are already proceeding, my friend. You have accomplished your point. You have created a mass event, and you have continued it to this point now, and you are continuing it. And in this, you are accomplishing your point: the attention is turning to the individuals. Your attention throughout history has been outside of yourselves, and you have directed your attention to authorities and have allowed other individuals to dictate to you.
AILI: That's just what we've been doing to each other, projecting ourselves out to each other rather...
AILI: ...than honoring our self-expression.
ELIAS: And allowing other individuals to dictate to you your reality, and the attention is shifting. You are already creating it, my friend. It is already shifting.
AILI: Because it's the systems I'm noticing, Elias, that we're talking about systems, big systems. The mail system, the economy, the transportation system and the money system, all of these systems are disintegrating.
ELIAS: Belief SYSTEMS!
AILI: Belief SYSTEMS!
ELIAS: Quite! You are not eliminating them; you are recognizing them and you are accepting, and this alters all of your reality. You are giving birth, figuratively speaking, to a new reality which shall be glorious. For what you shall offer to yourselves is freedom, an objective recognition of your choices and the recognition of your abilities in directing yourselves. As I have said previously, your science fiction is becoming your science fact.
AILI: The thing is, Stephen, this question, this last question, is really along the same lines as the other ones. It all comes back to directing it back to ourselves in how we express ourselves in the world.
AILI: So these are all pieces, aspects of the same thing.
AILI: It's aspects of the same thing.
STEPHEN: I've always said I would love to have an authority figure that I could fully trust, so then I wouldn't have to do any of this good stuff. I've always been disappointed because I can never find that authority figure that could do this for me. I really would like that, I think, because that would take all the burden off. Yet I've never been able to find that - always been disappointed at some point.
ELIAS: You speak of opposites, my friend, in terms of your beliefs incorporating opposites. Your ideas of reality are opposite of what the actual expression of it is. You wish for an authority and therefore they shall be responsible, and this shall offer you freedom. In actuality, my friend, in accepting the responsibility of self, you offer yourself tremendous freedom.
STEPHEN: Yes, I know, but there's a part, the child part, that keeps wanting daddy to make it okay, and of course you go through life frustrated because there is no such thing. I'm aware of that. You're bound to be disappointed in authority if you put that on them.
ELIAS: Quite, for this is what you are seeking within yourself.
AILI: Did we do it? Do we want to close up with Elias?
STEPHEN: We don't want to take more of your time. We were told we have an hour, and we've pretty much used it.
ELIAS: Very well.
STEPHEN: Thank you very much.
AILI: Elias, it's been a pleasure having this conversation!
STEPHEN: Is that accent German?
ELIAS: I may express to you, it may not necessarily be identified with a particular culture or language, but there is an incorporation of what you identify as European.
To you both I extend my invitation to be interactive with you futurely, if you are so choosing, and I shall offer my energy in encouragement to you each.
AILI: In other words, we'll feel you around us?
AILI: I would like to know that that is the case, because it would be helpful in our practice.
ELIAS: I may express to you, you may be on the watch! I express quite an interest in blue energy.
ELIAS: To you both in tremendous affection and great encouragement, au revoir.
AILI: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 11:38 AM.
©2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.