Steer Your Own Ship
"Steer Your Own Ship"
Friday, August 24, 2001 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Letty (Castille)
Elias arrives at 10:27 AM. (Arrival time is 30 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good morning!
LETTY: Good morning, Elias! Great to hear your voice again!
ELIAS: And how is your adventure?
LETTY: Ah, well, it's still adventure-y! (Elias laughs) So we do have a few things to talk about.
ELIAS: Very well.
LETTY: I have one quick question first for Marta. Your last conversation with her was about meeting her objectively again, and so she started thinking very hard and she feels very confident. But just as a validation, were you the daughter of the lady in the store where he was talking about - I think it was one of the islands of Greece - talking about a monastery? With beautiful blue eyes?
LETTY: Okay! He'll be happy about that one. (Elias chuckles)
Moving now to Castille, I have a quick question. I've been listening to the tape of our last session and trying to understand and actually notice my own essence. I've been having problems with aspects of self, or elements of self, like the one that makes choices, that kind of stuff. I do see one very easily, and that's that I get very frustrated with other people, with other individuals especially at work sometimes within myself, and I notice that emotion. So, is this my frustration of my lack of acceptance? (Pause)
ELIAS: Partially. But I may express to you, you are also offering yourself a communication concerning turning your attention to self. This is your indication to yourself that your attention is projected outwardly, and you are holding your attention upon other individuals rather than self.
LETTY: Yes, that makes sense. And with this attention, is it paying attention to how I am also feeling about myself, like how I discount myself?
LETTY: I have another validation, but this is from me because I keep forgetting. When I was in Bentonville, Arkansas at my friend's home, there's a big, big, big tree next to her house, and they talked about how much they loved being underneath it because it had great energy, that it felt good. So I kind of walked around a lot the day I was there and I felt the energy, but I felt it coming from the ground. I mean, I don't know if it was, and of course my first impression was that there was energy there in the ground because of what had happened there. I really don't know the history of that area or what kind of Indians there were, but some kind of Indian ... I don't know if it was a cemetery or graveyard, but what came to me was like maybe some kind of ceremony going on around there.
LETTY: Oh, good!
ELIAS: And therefore energy deposits have been created in relation to the physical location.
LETTY: Oh, yeah - it was kind of interesting to notice it.
Let's see. I have a question having to do with metaphysical, trying to incorporate all the information that you have given us throughout the years and as I read the transcripts. Many times we judge people, criticize them, whatever, and sometimes we don't feel they're judgments because they may be like, "oh, what a lovely dress she's wearing," or "I would never wear that," or "she doesn't look good in it." But is there something also, like I seem to notice or criticize heavy people because I do feel heavy myself?
That's been one of the issues that I've been working on. I'm trying to accept myself and understand my choice of creation for the way I have made changes to my physical body throughout the years. Is this something like the same as when you look at other people and make those kinds of judgments or thoughts, and it's really all a reflection of you?
ELIAS: Yes, you are correct.
LETTY: Then I need to pay more attention, because sometimes I make those comments and let them go by.
ELIAS: This is the point, Castille, to be paying attention to YOUR expressions and to be familiarizing yourself with your beliefs, your behaviors and your expressions, which are created through your perception.
As you familiarize yourself with your perception, you also allow yourself more of an intimacy with self, and therefore allow yourself to recognize what you are creating within self that reflects in your expressions and also through the expressions of other individuals that you interact with, and this allows you a clearer awareness of your choices, therefore not binding you to automatic responses associated with your beliefs, which allows you movement into acceptance of self AND your beliefs.
LETTY: I need to carry that one a little further, then.
My big question right now is ... and I am trying to understand what we spoke about last time of my self-image choices, which really work mostly with "it matters not," and I'm beginning to - maybe this is a validation, too - but I think I'm beginning to really understand and pick up on that and notice it, but I still notice it within small creations, you know, daily events, and then I realize how I came to that point because of my choice in creation or because I did have the different choices.
It's the big ones that I don't know if I'm thinking that I have to work harder at them or differently, and my big ones are still the difference between my thoughts and this part of me that chooses. I guess I'm still - and maybe I just needed to hear from you so I can settle down again - putting too much energy and thought into the future.
Maybe so that I could feel a little better, in the present now what are my probabilities? One day I feel like, wow, no matter what happens it's okay, and yet today I really would like to be able to say that I'm moving to Portland and continue with Leezar. Then over here on this side and on another day I'll say, "Well, am I getting the reaction from Leezar that I want?" and therefore I want to go to Miami. Other than being confused, any thoughts on that one, Elias?
ELIAS: (Chuckles) Let me offer to you, Castille, an identification of what you have presently presented in your question.
You initiated your question with an identification of yourself projecting your attention futurely and moved your questioning in a manner in which your perception is that you are inquiring to me what your probabilities are now, but in actuality you have merely couched the question in a manner in which it appears to you to be asking concerning the now; but in actuality your question concerns the future. For in inquiring concerning the NOW, your attention would be directed to what you are creating presently in this day, in this moment. Are you physically relocating yourself this day to Florida or to Portland?
ELIAS: No - therefore the question is irrelevant, for this is not what you are creating this day. This is the point, Castille. This is what you and I have been discussing in our previous interactions concerning holding your attention upon you and in the now, both.
LETTY: Yes, and I'm still having problems with that and looking to the future.
ELIAS: And in this present now, in this one question, your attention is not in the now and not upon self. Your attention is projected to the future and concerning other individuals. Therefore, this is an example of what we have been discussing, the ease in which you project your attention outside of the now and away from self. Your confusion, your frustration and your concern continues, for you are not allowing yourself to pay attention to you in the now. You continue to question what Leezar's choices are. You continue to confuse yourself in what choices you shall create, for you are confused with Leezar's motivation.
(Firmly) It matters not, Castille. Remember, your interaction with other individuals is a reflection of you and what YOU are creating. Therefore, if you are not creating the response that you wish to be creating in relation to Leezar, you are reflecting what you are actually creating within self.
Once again, let me express to you, you all very precisely communicate to yourselves in many, many manners what you are creating inwardly. You offer yourselves many avenues of communication, and if you are not paying attention to one avenue of communication you shall provide yourself with another avenue of communication, and you shall continue to communicate to yourself in stronger and louder manners if the message is important to your direction and what you are choosing in your particular direction.
THIS is what you may be examining, Castille. Realize that the interaction that you are creating with Leezar is a reflection of you. Allow yourself to genuinely examine what you want and listen to your communications concerning what you want, for you shall offer yourself response and identification of what you want.
In this, you also are continuing to restrict yourself, for you continue to allow another individual to dictate to you your choices. You are waiting; you are creating an expression of dependence of your choices upon the choices of another individual. (Pause)
LETTY: Now I understand. Last night I had a dream, and I guess I am being more direct in my communication. It was very interesting. I just remember the last part, being someplace with all of Leezar's family yet he was not there, and I actually was lying to them by not telling them that he and I were no longer together, and I pretended that I was. Then at the end, right before waking up, one of his cousins asked me about something he had purchased, a boat or something, and I said, "No, he hasn't purchased one," and everybody else said, "We happen to know that he did," and I felt like I'm no longer part of it. Is this the communication you're talking about? That was very loud.
ELIAS: Quite. This is not a premonition. This also is not an absolute, but you are communicating to yourself that you are not paying attention.
(Deliberately) Your choices are your choices. It matters not what choices another individual expresses. I may not emphasize this to you strongly enough: you genuinely create ALL of your reality in EVERY aspect. Therefore, what you are addressing to is your perception, for your perception, as I have stated, is the mechanism that actually creates your physical reality.
In this, you continue to project your attention away from self in the belief that there are some aspects of your reality that are dependent upon the choices of other individuals, and you are not allowing yourself to view your own motivations and wants.
LETTY: As you're saying this I'm trying also to understand, and this goes into my analyzation that it's the fear or the belief system of fear, you know, of being alone or not having a partner or coming from my culture of not being married.
LETTY: And that's where I have to practice my intent.
ELIAS: I shall be acknowledging of you in your recognition of these beliefs and express to you, begin with the examination of these beliefs. And in your examination, allow yourself to genuinely explore your motivation, your associations with your beliefs, and allow yourself to identify what your genuine wants are.
LETTY: I was going to ask you about a dream - but I think I just answered it within this question - which was very unusual for me. I was at the place where I work - a lot of my dreams lately are with familiar people - and I seem to be catering to everybody; you know, I agree with everybody, which is very much what I believe I'm not, but it looks like pleasing everybody. So within this dream was I also communicating to myself the fact that ... and the first thing I woke up with is that's not who I am, or that's not who I think I am.
Was I going toward doing something because of these beliefs or the beliefs that this is what you should do, or how you should treat people or be nice to people, but yet it wasn't being genuine?
ELIAS: You are offering yourself imagery to express to yourself an identification of not paying attention to self and projecting your attention to other individuals and allowing other individuals to dictate your choices.
LETTY: Yup. That I have been doing, and I recognize it.
There was one other dream that was a few weeks ago, and it was kind of interesting. I don't believe it was an out-of-body, although that was Marta's interpretation. There were branches of trees, curved branches, that were just floating, and I was trying to catch them. Every once in a while I would catch one, and I would fly with this branch. Obviously, during this dream I believed I couldn't do it on my own; but when I did, that feeling of flying was just so peaceful and free. I'm not sure how, but I know it relates - but I'm not catching it, Elias.
ELIAS: You are correct, for this is imagery that you are presenting to yourself, in a manner of speaking, in your terms, symbolically of your solution, so to speak, to this dilemma, the dilemma being the recognition of projecting your attention away from self and allowing other individuals to dictate to you your choices.
This imagery is symbolically the presentment to yourself that as you allow yourself to recognize that you do incorporate beliefs, you are not eliminating them. You continue to hold them within your reality, but as you accept their existence, so to speak, you may also allow yourself the freedom of choice.
As you allowed yourself to hold the branch, your attention is not necessarily directed in concentration upon the branch. Your concentration is moved to the freedom of the flying, but you are holding the branch. This is symbolic in your imagery, suggesting to you that although you continue to incorporate the belief systems within your reality, not eliminating them, they continue to exist but your attention is not concentrated upon them. Therefore, you offer yourself the freedom to turn your attention and recognize choices. If your attention is focused singularly upon the branch, your choices of movement are limited. But the branch may continue to exist within your reality, and as your attention and concentration is NOT directed to it, you offer yourself infinite possibilities of directions in choice.
LETTY: Well, Elias, this explanation has been so wonderful!
I had two other dreams with creatures. The first one was about crabs under my bed, and I was trying to kill them with a spray. I see imagery of animals in my dreams that are belief systems, because I keep wanting to stomp them and eliminate them instead of allowing them and knowing that they're not going to harm me.
My other dream was a couple of days later. I'm in Los Angeles on a large freeway but on a horse. I hadn't had the impression until right now that the horse was also a freedom of accepting to be different and going with the flow of cars, of the belief systems, because people do what people believe they should do more than what they really want to.
LETTY: I know I've been wanting to break from that shell but, well, I've got more work on that, because I'm still pulled by the belief systems of how I should live.
LETTY: Wow! (Sighs) Well, Elias, it's one of those times, I know you've told me over and over, but this is the first time that I feel I've opened my eyes! (Elias laughs) And I see the light. I truly believe that I've known that all along, and I was scared to believe it because when I do let other people make choices for me I don't give personal responsibility to myself.
ELIAS: Quite! Let me express to you, my friend, in the time frameworks that you are assuming personal responsibility for other individuals, you are NOT assuming responsibility for self; and let me express to you quite genuinely, allowing yourself to incorporate responsibility for self offers you GREAT freedom. Assuming personal responsibility in relation to other individuals creates great restriction.
LETTY: Yes, because you're not thinking about yourself anymore...
LETTY: ...you're not paying attention.
LETTY: With that in mind, I do need your help here in deciphering what ... but we went to Miami - I went to have fun, and I did - and at least one of the people that was there ... I guess Cindel asked you, and I guess she's one of my, oh I forgot, what do you call those? Well, we have a great connection. So I get pulled, I can see how I get ... many times I get rejected by her energy, but that's because I know we're different and I understand soul mates. She's my soul mate, so therefore I understand how I get pulled into, you know, with her.
And here we are in Miami, and of course she's trying to brainwash us literally into wanting to move there. While I was there my honest feeling or impression was this is not where I see myself. I liked it and everything, but I still didn't see myself ... I came back to LA, and I started concentrating and paying attention to Leezar and his choices - therefore, depending on what he said, I wouldn't move to Miami. But I'm doing all of this again, allowing other people from the outside instead of myself.
So if I'm assimilating what you've been talking about this morning, I'm not going to be moving to Miami, even though that was my question of the future. I know I still may, but that's not where I am right now.
LETTY: I've been feeling the influence of allowing other people to make my decisions.
LETTY: Okay! God, I feel more comfortable just being home now!
ELIAS: Very well, Castille. This is the point of what I have been expressing to you. Allow yourself to listen and pay attention to you and to evaluate what YOU want. This is genuinely the manner in which you shall not betray you. As you pay attention to self, familiarize yourself with your communications and your movements. You shall genuinely not betray yourself.
LETTY: Even though it doesn't sound very nice, I have been doing that by allowing other people or...
LETTY: ...putting my attention on other people's ideas and opinions.
ELIAS: Correct. Allow yourself the visualization, Castille, of the ship. You are the ship and your attention is the wheel that steers it, and as you allow other individuals to hold the wheel, you shall also stand by and allow them to steer your ship. This is the point of this shift in consciousness, to steer your own ship.
LETTY: Yes, well, it's definitely a nasty habit to break (Elias chuckles), but every day I know I allow less and less of that. This is just a big one, because romantic relationships have been such a big deal in our society.
LETTY: Or our dimension, for that. Wow.
ELIAS: Quite, and you are quite familiar with certain expressions. In this time framework you are addressing to duplicity and sexuality, which emphasizes your addressment to interactions with other individuals in relationships.
LETTY: This has been an excellent, excellent session for me. This is one of the first times I have felt so emotional, too, in our sense of the word.
ELIAS: Pay attention, for you are communicating within your self. This is significant.
As you create emotional communications, you are not always communicating what you identify as a message concerning what you are creating in discounting of yourself. Many times you offer yourselves emotional communications that are validating of yourself, for the nature of this communication is merely an offering of identification of what you are precisely creating and expressing in the moment.
LETTY: Yes. Elias, thank you so much.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend.
LETTY: I wish I had more questions, but this has been a double session for me!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha! Much to assimilate!
LETTY: Yes. This is the first time I really genuinely feel and understand and know what I have to do, and not allow myself ... I do feel that many times I put that there, that I don't see myself and see other people, and again the fear of having to take that responsibility, thinking that that was easier, and it's the familiar, I guess.
ELIAS: It is the familiar, but in actuality it is also the more difficult.
LETTY: Yes, it is. Well, I thank you for having you around! (Elias laughs) I know you're always there and you're always trying to tell me, and I know I sometimes don't see it, but...
ELIAS: It matters not, my friend, for I continue to be persistent and offer my energy expression regardless. (Chuckles)
LETTY: Thank you for that! (Laughs with Elias) And for your patience and everything else. You are a wonderful, wonderful friend.
ELIAS: Ah, and I extend to you the same expression. Allow yourself to accept that, in knowing that it is genuine. I offer to you, Castille, the expression of the truth of love, and until our next meeting, express to you au revoir.
LETTY: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 11:12 AM.
©2003 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.