Monday, August 13, 2001 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Carmen (Tirza)
Elias arrives at 2:16 pm. (Arrival time is 30 seconds.)

ELIAS: Bonjour.

CARMEN: Bonjour, Elias. I want to thank you and Mary for accommodating me today.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

CARMEN: I've been kind of ... oh, I told myself I'm not going to cry! Breathe.

I'm a lot calmer now, actually, after talking to Mary and having an opportunity to talk with you. But I think that I have a lot of belief systems that are coming up right now, and I've been experiencing what feels like a total meltdown and I'm seriously discounting myself for not being able to hold it together and not find a way through this quicker. Every time I seem to be able to create calmness and feel my power in the now I can't seem to hold onto that. When I try to distract myself so that I don't lend energy to the panic and the grief, it just wells up and overwhelms me again so that I'm in this extremely unpleasant cycle.

Issues I think I'm dealing with now are how I make a living, self worth, individual intent, relationships and fear of disengagement. And, if I may, I'd like to start with money first, because this has been the trigger for me.

ELIAS: Very well; continue.

CARMEN: Now, I have - as I told you in my last session - decided to continue my current way of making a living because it's very efficient for me: it pays me extremely well, it doesn't take all of my time, it leaves me a lot of time to do other things, it gives me total freedom in how I structure my time, it's easy for me, and there are times when I do get into the flow of it and feel some satisfaction from it. But I do know that there are times when I feel intense boredom with it, and I have interpreted that emotional message to myself loud and clear.

Now my question is, do I have probable choices within the framework of continuing to make my living the way I have been that will work for me in terms of following my intent and satisfying my value fulfillment? Because I'm thinking that it gives me so much free time and freedom to use that time to pursue more satisfying activities that I would not be blocking my movement if I continued to make my living that way.

But my problem is that I've been taking my emotional communications as a message that I need to be doing something else, and that is sending me into a panic state. I think it might relate to the black and white issues that we discussed during one of my sessions, where I haven't been allowing myself enough freedom to see the in-between choices. I tend to go either yes or no. So could you help me clarify whether I would be able to continue doing what I do for a living and at the same time continue to follow my intent?

ELIAS: Yes. Now; I may express to you Tirza, what you are presenting to yourself is a clear example in your association, as you stated, with the automatic translation of the either/or.

You present yourself with clear imagery, and your translation of that imagery automatically moves into the expression of either/or, and you are creating an intensity in association with that translation to allow yourself to view that this is not the allowance of choices; this is the limitation of choices.

Now; I am understanding that you have already presented yourself with that information and have received that message. But your challenge lies in attempting to view other choices that you are not allowing yourself to see. Therefore, you become frustrated and anxious that all that you view is the black and white, and you do not objectively understand how you may discover other choices.

Now; let me express to you, although you have presented yourself with an extreme intensity of experience and imagery recently in relation to many different subject matters, in this direction of your employment I may express to you quite genuinely, yes, you do incorporate other probabilities that you may continue to be incorporating the choice to continue in the type of employment that you engage now - in the employment that you engage now - but you are also creating an emergence.

Now; let me express to you, my friend, many times many, many individuals within this time framework and in relation to the movement of this shift in consciousness create an expression quite similar to your association with physical birth. This is what I have termed previously as a new emergence of awareness. In a manner of speaking, you create automatically the familiar associations with the action of birth, that which you associate to be painful and violent and extreme, but what is generated from that emergence is the creation of new experiences, new choices and a new adventure.

In this, what you stand upon the threshold of in emergence is the recognition that the expression of your choices lies in a familiar area within your awareness, but one which has been defined previously as non-reality. You allow the expression of this one area and direction of communication in some expressions of your creativity, but you limit this communication avenue in other expressions of your reality.

This communication avenue is imagination. I have expressed many times previously, imagination is reality. It is not what you define it to be. In this, what you are giving birth to in movement with this shift is a new redefining of the communication of imagination and a new freedom to its expression that you shall allow yourself to listen to and pay attention to, for this shall offer you the expression of and the avenue to realize and objectively recognize those choices that you now view to be hidden from you or removed from you that you are desperately searching for. They are already within your awareness; you are merely not paying attention to their expressions in similar manner, my friend, to watching a specific activity that may be occurring outside of yourself, an event that may be occurring.

Let us express an example that you may be physically engaging your attention watching an activity that may be occurring upon your street, perhaps other individuals dancing and engaging musical instruments, and you occupy your attention watching these individuals creating their movements. Simultaneously, within your periphery but not engaging your attention, to the side of your vision may be an individual that is moving in your direction and is moving in a manner to gain your attention to offer to you an expression of connection or friendship, a stranger; but you are not paying attention to the stranger in your periphery, you are paying attention to the dancers and the musicians. This is not to say that the stranger approaching bearing gifts for you does not exist; the stranger exists and is present, but your attention is occupied.

In similar manner the avenue of communication of imagination is present, and it is expressing its communication. Your attention is merely unfamiliar with listening to its communication in certain arenas, so to speak.

CARMEN: Like money, for me.

ELIAS: Correct. Now you are creating the movement of emergence, the birth of new imagination in relation to areas of your focus that you have not associated this expression with previously, which shall offer you wondrous new choices and freedom within your expressions of your creativity.

CARMEN: I hear what you're saying. I mean, it makes perfect sense but ... you're right, I just am blocking it because I feel like my security, the financial situation, it's like if I don't have that, I don't allow myself any kind of freedom in any other area. I thought I had approached a situation where I'd get great projects and I could be doing my photography and my art and my music, and I could intertwine the two and then wham, a project was taken away - well, it went away - and I just flipped out.

ELIAS: And this is the expression which you have manifest in relation to your translation of imagery and the black and white.

Now; let us view the hypothetical scenario once again. What I am expressing to you is not that you need be turning your attention away from the minstrels and the dancers, but to be incorporating the allowance of the stranger to approach and the gifts that this stranger bears, and share the experience of the minstrels and the dancers with the new stranger.

CARMEN: Oh my goodness, there's a lot of metaphors. Something has opened up. I haven't gotten it ... the new feelings feel good when you say things like this. I might hang myself up, paralyze myself through analysis of it, but I do want to expand and, if I can, offer myself stability for a while, financial stability.

If I do really work on lowering my defenses and dealing with my belief systems in all of the time off I have, then the stranger can approach. I'll be more likely to accept messages, although I'm still not close to hearing voices; I've thought about that one but that still scares me too much. But if I can have a transition period where I don't throw myself into total black or white, I think I will offer myself more of an ease in the emergence. Is this correct?

ELIAS: Yes, you are correct. In this, offer yourself permission to allow yourself to continue in the direction that you have created and that you have chosen. You are correct, you have created quite efficiently what you want. You have offered yourself your ability to generate the currency that you believe is necessary for your comfort within your focus, in which you offer yourself little conflict.

Allow yourself permission to continue in the choice that you have engaged, and expand by also allowing in welcoming the new stranger of imagination that may provide a communication to you of new expressions of creativity that you may be incorporating in the moments in which you are now incorporating boredom.

CARMEN: In my own creativity?

ELIAS: Correct. Within what you have chosen, allow your imagination to soar, and you shall also offer yourself tremendous choices to be incorporating into the movement that you are already incorporating as comfortable.

CARMEN: What you've just said was a reiteration of giving myself the feeling of safety and support so that I can be expanding in the other areas.

ELIAS: In this area also, my friend. Look to your job, that which you view as your job within your focus, and in that action you are offering yourself the opportunity to meet the new expression of imagination to be incorporated IN your job.

CARMEN: Oh, great. Now, those were avenues that I have thought about, because I know that I'm Vold but believe me, I've got Sumafi tendencies. I can do one thing different ways and learn new things from them.

ELIAS: Quite.

CARMEN: But I thought, I can do the things I want to, invest what I'm doing ... I write very easily and if I can just expand and allow rather than limiting myself and saying, "This is what it is," because I'd love that.

ELIAS: Correct.

CARMEN: Thank you!

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend.

CARMEN: Oh, my god! I'm glad it has a name: emergence. (Elias chuckles) And I'm glad that I'm not ... because honestly there have been times when I've been thinking, "I can't do this," and I don't want to disengage because I know that I'd take it with me. I don't see disengagement as any kind of an escape. So rather than a death, it's a birth.

ELIAS: Correct. Let me express to you, my friend, birth and death are the same action into different expressions of consciousness. They are both an emergence.

In the automatic translation that you create in association with the imagery that you present to yourself and that you create, once again you associate in absolutes, in black and white, and therefore as you present yourself with imagery concerning the subject matter of death, you are not necessarily presenting yourself with imagery concerning disengagement, but you are offering yourself imagery that validates the movement that you are creating, which is an emergence.

CARMEN: I just wish I'd give myself imagery of little babies or something. (Laughing, and Elias laughs) All this grotesque violence ... and the fact that in my last session you said that I'm drawing other people to mirror me. Boy, that has been scary, too!

ELIAS: But, my friend, were you to be offering yourself imagery of infants, you may offer yourself an identification of emergence but your association with THAT emergence is into familiar, for you are familiar with physical focus, with this physical dimension, with belief systems, with movements and automatic responses of your focus within this physical manifestation.

Therefore, in actuality, you have created imagery that more efficiently and clearly expresses the reflection of your movement in actuality, for the emergence that you are creating is in relation to the movement of this shift in consciousness. You are emerging into new choice and freedom, which is unfamiliar to you. It is not necessarily an emergence that incorporates fear, but it does incorporate unfamiliarity and what you objectively view as unknown expressions. You are redefining elements within your reality; therefore, you are also actually altering your reality. Your actual physical reality is altering.

CARMEN: I can feel that, yes.

ELIAS: Therefore in association with your identification of death, objectively what you emerge into is unknown to you in the action of death. What you present to yourself in the action of death, objectively within your reality, is quite unfamiliar to you, and you objectively are unsure of what you may anticipate or what you may encounter or experience.

Therefore this imagery is, in actuality, my friend, much more closely associated with the movement that you are actually creating. But in your automatic association and translation of your imagery, in the expression of the black and white, you immediately associate that the imagery that you present yourself with in association with death must incorporate a meaning or a message to yourself in absolutes that you must be contemplating disengagement, which you are not.

CARMEN: Oh, thank god! (Laughs)

ELIAS: You are merely offering yourself, in conjunction with your orientation, an outward expression of imagery that reflects to you what you are creating within self. This is your natural expression in conjunction with your orientation, to be projecting outwardly imagery and manifestations to allow yourself to objectively physically view what you are creating - not that you are creating disengaging but that you are creating an emergence into unfamiliar expressions, which offer you tremendous freedom of movement and new exploration and adventure.

CARMEN: That's wonderful. What felt like the end is the beginning, a beginning, another beginning. Every moment is a beginning.

ELIAS: Yes!

CARMEN: Oh boy, I feel a lot better now.

I have a question about my individual intent in this shift - unless you had anything else on that topic. I didn't want to interrupt you.

ELIAS: You may continue.

CARMEN: Okay. I know that I'm hung up on my individual intent and I keep asking for clarification, but for some reason I am just so intent on remaining faithful to it. As we discussed, my individual intent - unless it's changed, which I don't feel that it has - is to contribute to a more encompassing definition of spirituality by incorporating all aspects of existing spiritual belief systems and creatively expanding on them, and by providing the example of myself to others, give them the opportunity to view spirituality more widely.

Now, I get stuck on my concern that in order to follow my individual intent that I must have discussions of spirituality with others, which isn't my natural inclination unless someone else brings up the subject of spirituality. I myself think about it constantly, but the people that I currently associate with do not. I don't even know if they think about it. It's none of my business really, and I don't care to intrude in that way. So can I reassure myself that I am following my intent even if I don't hold up a sign or mention the word spirituality as I interact with others?

ELIAS: Yes, my friend, quite definitely.

CARMEN: Good.

ELIAS: It is not the expression of your intent to be discussing with other individuals or teaching other individuals or preaching to other individuals, offering them "the path," so to speak, in which they may follow.

Your intent is an expression of integrating all of your physical reality in all of its expressions - regardless of subject matter, regardless of direction - into the identification and definition of spirituality.

You are quite effectively in alignment with your intent as you focus your attention upon self and allow yourself to explore the expression of spirituality in every aspect of your focus - in every movement, in every choice, in every physical expression. This is all spirituality.

Therefore, as you incorporate the action of the straight little sapling and focus your attention upon self and your own movement and the incorporation of your own choices in recognition and acceptance of all of your movement as an expression of spirituality, you also automatically create the natural by-product of radiating your energy outwardly, which is recognized and noticed by other individuals.

CARMEN: That relieves me, because it would feel very unnatural for me to be more overt about it. Spirituality is something that is so natural to me; I just live it. To talk about it, I'm just not drawn to it. As you said, it's not my intent.

ELIAS: Correct.

CARMEN: I just have a couple more questions, because I really want to let Mary back; I feel like I'm taxing her.

When I get up in the morning, I close my eyes and see a very bright ring of yellow color. Now, I don't see it at other times of the day. Is this my yellow energy center? Because when I see my energy center colors other times they don't form that ring. It's very distinctive, and I was curious what that is.

ELIAS: You are correct. You are presenting yourself with an objective image to be drawing your attention to this particular energy center, for this particular energy center is being most affected, in your terms, by your movement of energy, recently especially.

CARMEN: Yes, yes, because I haven't had an appetite, I've felt kind of nauseous. I can feel it even physically that that's where I'm holding tension or creating blockages of tension.

I'm curious also when I close my eyes and I see pools of blue-violet radiating outward. It's not my essence color, and I haven't thought it was an energy center because I don't see myself radiating - or I haven't in the past - radiating out any energy centers. I was just curious, what is this?

ELIAS: This imagery that you are creating is also an attempt, in a manner of speaking, to offer yourself a compensating energy to the intensity of the yellow, for this particular expression of this hue of blue is your imagery to yourself in attempting to offer to yourself a calming energy that you may superimpose with the yellow to calm the objective outward expressions of this energy.

CARMEN: That makes sense, because I usually see it after I have been feeling calm, so I can associate that with another physical feeling.

I really do want to let Mary come back; I just feel like she's done me a huge favor by allowing me in today. As you know, I haven't been reading the sessions lately and I think you know this, maybe you don't, but for me personally I just really reached a point where it was too much information and I was confusing myself, especially with the intensity that I bring to it. But as you know, I haven't forgotten you. I'm noisy as heck; I know I am. (Elias laughs) I really wanted to thank you for your patience. I am belligerent at times, and I just thank the universe that you have defenses against me. (Laughs)

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! I may express to you, my friend, I need no defenses.

CARMEN: Oh, that's right, because you are the straight sapling - the big straight sapling! So you automatically just deflect everything. That's great. Thank you so much.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend.

CARMEN: I appreciate it. I just wasn't knowing what hit, and I feel very reassured right now. I still have some ... I mean, I'm not through working on this but at least I know it's okay - I'm okay.

ELIAS: And so you are, and I shall continue to offer an expression of my energy to you continuously.

CARMEN: Thank you so much.

ELIAS: I am always available to you.

CARMEN: I appreciate it.

ELIAS: Accept from myself an energy of encouragement and also a blanket of safety that you may incorporate in moments of anxiousness.

CARMEN: Thank you so much.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I anticipate our next meeting and as always express to you great affection.

CARMEN: Thank you, Elias.

ELIAS: To you this day, au revoir.

CARMEN: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 3:02 PM.

(1) Carmen is common orientation.

©2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.