Friday, February 16, 2001 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Debi (Oona).
Elias arrives at 5:07 PM. (Arrival time is 19 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

DEBI: Hi Elias! It's good to talk to you again!

ELIAS: (Chuckling) And how shall we proceed?

DEBI: Well, gosh. I've got a piece of paperwork with all kinds of stuff scribbled on it, but you know, I think I'll just start with, since I last saw you at Castaic it's been pretty turbulent (Elias chuckles), and there's just been a lot of things going on that are kind of big, kind of small, kind of everything, and they might all - well, not might, I'm sure that they all do relate to each other. I just kind of wanted to chat a little bit about that...

ELIAS: Very well.

DEBI: ...and even including interaction with you. It just seems like during my tantrum, pounding-the-high-chair whining bitching moaning phase, you're not around, and things got really weird there for about a week.

Well, let me just start like this. After I left Castaic, everything was great and I started playing around with some actual creation of things that I chose myself, and I had a lot of fun. I was creating things like parking places and people and just having fun, and then all of a sudden after about three days I couldn't do anything. I went into this big depression, and it was just, "Oh my god, I can't do anything right. This is all a bad cosmic joke!" and all that kind of stuff (Elias smiles) and, "Maybe I'm dead and nobody told me," and oh god! Then I got sick, physically sick, then I got sad, and it just kind of goes on and on and on. Then little things happened - I had some fun with a little money creation - and it just seems like I'm all over the place. Everything's fine, it's great, I'm doing well, and then nothing's working out, and "Oh god, my life's over!"

I don't know what I'm doing! Is this just how it is, getting to know my energy and how I create, and just giving myself experience in that? Is it all related?

ELIAS: I may express to you, yes, it is all related in your terms.

Now; in exploration of your experiences, allow yourself to engage your thought process in the manner in which it has been designed, in its natural function. And in that, express to me what are the communications that you are offering to yourself that you are not receiving? Allow yourself to pay attention to the emotional communications that you have offered to yourself in these experiences, and express the identification of the message.

DEBI: Well, right off the top, the first thing that comes to me is kind of like a lack of trust in myself, which I associate with what we term to be the negative emotions, the sadness, the depression. Like that wonderful time I had actually materializing things I chose, and then BAM, the second that I couldn't do it like that, it was just devastating, and it was as if I couldn't ... "I can't trust myself, see!" - you know, that kind of a thing.

ELIAS: Now; allow yourself to move beyond the generalization and the broad expression of a lack of trust, and identify more specifically what you are communicating to yourself, for this expression of a lack of trust is quite general.

DEBI: Okay, it just seems like I really don't ... sometimes I don't believe I create my own reality, or I don't believe I'm capable of it.

ELIAS: Quite. Now...

DEBI: I mean in the manner that I would like to.

ELIAS: Quite. Now; in identification of the lack of trust, what in your abilities are you not trusting?

DEBI: Hmm. What am I not trusting? What I feel like is that part of me is creeping around behind the other part of me. Oh, how do I explain it? I don't know, like I'm not completely with myself when I'm making choices. Like Debi One is saying, "Okay, this is what I would like to happen here," but I have the feeling that Debi Two is around the back going, "Yeah, well maybe you think it will, but it's not!" I don't know how to explain this.

ELIAS: I am understanding. This is, in actuality, quite commonly expressed within individuals in physical focus, for you separate and you view the subjective awareness of yourself to be secret and hidden from you.

Therefore, you also suspect that THAT aspect of yourself, that expression of your awareness, is secretly expressing directions and creating realities that you objectively are unaware of, and therefore you become victim to your own expressions.

DEBI: That's exactly what it feels like! And it makes me feel really trapped, like I can't even get away from this self, and it is me! You know what I mean?

ELIAS: And the manner in which you allow yourself to not be associating yourself as victim to yourself is allowing yourself to be listening to the communications that you are offering to yourself, recognizing that the objective imagery that you present yourself with matters not; it may be presented in myriads of manners. You have merely chosen certain expressions objectively as your individual imagery within any particular moment. That is the abstract expression, for it may be replaced with any numbering of creations.

What is clear and precise is the communication that you offer to yourself as to the nature of what you are creating and the identification of the movement of your perception, and you offer this communication to yourself quite clearly through emotion and through manifestations that are not outside of you. You incorporate the usage, so to speak, of your physical body, of your senses, of your impressions, of your intuition, of your emotions to be offering you communication as to what you are creating within the moment. But your attention automatically moves to the outside display, the objective imagery, and this is distracting.

DEBI: Yeah, it feels like I'm always waiting for the next bomb I'm going to drop on myself! (Laughing)

ELIAS: Now...

DEBI: But not always - sometimes it's a happy feeling like, what am I going to surprise myself with next? But I sort of feel like I'm not driving the car a lot of the time. (Elias chuckles) You know?

ELIAS: For you continue to view yourself as separated, almost as being two separate entities - one being the subjective, one being the objective - and you view your subjective self as the other entity which is driving the car, so to speak. (Laughing)

DEBI: And I want to switch seats, so to speak!

ELIAS: And in this, what I am expressing to you is that the objective and the subjective are both ONE YOU, and in that, they are both in harmony with each other. One is not dictating to the other, one is not responding to the other; they are merely creating different expressions of the same movement.

DEBI: Right. You talked to me about that last time, and I think that I'm starting to draw parallels with what's happening objectively being simultaneous with a particular emotion. That's about as far as I've gotten with it; I'm trying.

ELIAS: Now allow yourself to not merely be paying attention to the signal, but to be listening to the message, the communication: WHAT are you creating, not necessarily WHY is this occurring.

DEBI: A lot of this current phase that I've been going through seems to have started when I got really, really worried about school and my future and possibly moving, maybe to Castaic, in a few months, and I started completely projecting into the future, into the future, into the future. And it just seemed like all of a sudden - just boom, boom, boom - all these other things started happening, it feels like in response to that.

ELIAS: How may you be paying attention to the communication that you are offering to yourself in the now if you are projecting your attention futurely?

DEBI: I can't.

ELIAS: Quite.

DEBI: You know what I did for a little while there? I literally got to a point to where all I could do was just breath in, breath out, and concentrate on my energy centers. (Elias smiles and nods) I read a transcript where you advised somebody to do that, and I thought, "Okay, I can do that." And that was all I could do! I didn't even feel you around, and it was like, "Oh my god, I've even chased him off!" (Elias smiles again and gently shakes his head no) And then I got thinking about it, and I thought, "No, maybe I moved away. Maybe it is all me."

ELIAS: In actuality there has been no moving away, so to speak, but rather that you have moved your attention and are not allowing for the recognition of my presence and interaction.

DEBI: I thought it would be something like that. Well, I know it has absolutely everything to do with what I'm doing and the beliefs I have and "who'd want to hang out with me anyway when I'm like this" (Elias smiles broadly) and all that discounting kind of stuff. And then I just come back around to, "No, it's just exactly something that I'm doing." Well, okay, let me see what I can do with that. (Elias chuckles)

How about we talk for a few minutes about my daughter, Lindsey?

ELIAS: Very well.

DEBI: I talked to Michael a little bit about this and I got some pretty good insight there, and I'm just kind of going through a time where I'm trying to assimilate how the people that I'm interacting with are in fact me, my creation, and trying to get a handle on that while I'm dealing with the side of the real gritty part of life. There's this really upset child that I love dearly, sitting there heart-breaking in my face, wanting me to help her, and I have absolutely no idea how. I just don't know what to do with this kid sometimes, and then I look at it as, "Well, wait a minute, that's my creation."

I'm having a hard time with this. I don't know how to be helpful. I don't even know if this is just the version I created. Is the real Lindsey off to the side somewhere happily skipping along, and I'm just interacting with the one that's not because that's MY version? Can you talk to me a little bit about that?

ELIAS: Very well. Let me express to you that the child that you are interacting with does mirror the actual focus of the child.

Let me express to you, you do not create what you may term to be a completely different version of the individual. You very efficiently create a very similar version, so to speak, of the individual in relation to the blueprint of that individual which you have allowed yourself to be interactive with. Therefore, what you view is in actuality very similar to what the other essence is projecting as a focus.

Understand this point, for you are not creating the projection of this individual in an extremely or even notably different manner than the individual is projecting themselves. Are you understanding?

DEBI: Yes. Yes, I am.

ELIAS: Now; in this, what you pay attention to in your interaction with another individual, or your projection of the other individual, are aspects of expressions and behaviors that reflect you. Therefore, that shall speak to you.

DEBI: Ah. Well, I guess what I want you to tell me is how do I fix her, of course. That's what I want you to tell me, but...

ELIAS: (Laughs) And you are quite aware that I shall not! Ha ha ha ha!

DEBI: Believe me, I know that. It's not my job and all that and everything, but I ... (sighs) like I said, it's the really gritty side of life for me.

ELIAS: And this is the challenge, and I express to you that the nature of the challenge in all of its intensity is that you recognize that the manner in which you may be helpful to another individual is to be focusing upon you. (Debi laughs)

I am quite understanding that this appears surfacely to you to be inconsistent and not an adequate answer, but I may express to you quite definitely, in actuality, this is the manner in which you shall be the most helpful to any other individual and your child, so to speak, is to be focusing upon you.

For in focusing upon the other individual and moving in the direction of attempting to be helpful, concentrating upon them, creates the expression that you do not wish to be creating, for what you are projecting in that type of attention and action is a discounting of the other individual and a lack of acceptance of them. In figurative terms, you are expressing to the other individual, "You do not create your reality adequately. I may create your reality for you more efficiently. My method is better. You are inefficient."

DEBI: That's exactly what it is. And I know that, I just ... I guess I want somebody to tell me that when I'm sitting there feeling all the pain that this person is projecting to me, that it's okay to just focus on me and kind of not deal with that pain.

ELIAS: No. The key aspect of what you have expressed in this now is to not be focusing upon what you identify as the pain, and I may express to you, no, this is incorrect.

In the moment, in the interaction, you are experiencing an emotional communication. You are identifying part of the signal of that emotional communication as painful. In not paying attention, you discount the message and you do not receive the message, and you turn your attention, once again, outward to the other individual, and in this you are not being helpful.

In paying attention to self and listening to your emotional communication in the moment, you identify what YOU are creating, what YOU are experiencing, and what is motivating your expression. In that identification, you may choose to be interactive with another individual, and your outward communication with that individual shall move in a different direction as it is being directed by your attention to what YOU are creating, not attempting to be identifying what the other individual is creating; and I may express to you, for the most part, the other individual shall be much more receptive to your interaction, for there shall be no projection of perceived threat or blame. As another individual perceives an energy moving towards them that is expressing blame, judgment, and lack of acceptance, there is an automatic response to block.

DEBI: I can see that. I can see that now.

ELIAS: You shall accept your own expression of blame and judgment and lack of acceptance, but you automatically block that type of expression from other individuals - and it matters not how you couch your communication, for the energy is recognized.

But in focusing upon self and listening to your own communications, recognizing those communications and receiving those communications, as you move into interaction with another individual your expression changes, and there is no projection from you of judgment or lack of acceptance or blame in relation to the other individual, and therefore, the energy shall be accepted. And THIS may be much more helpful to the other individual, for this allows the other individual to be receiving energy from you which is not threatening, not discounting, and this creates a movement within the individual that they shall allow themselves to be paying attention to themself.

DEBI: And that's all I want; that's my goal, that's it. Okay, I will work on that. I really appreciate that, Elias. Thank you.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome.

DEBI: You know how it is with us and our kids (they both laugh), and I'm sure my parents feel the same way about me. (Elias chuckles)

Let me think here. I've got a couple of things written down. Maybe we'll move to something a little bit less emotional. (Elias chuckles) Yeah, like that's possible with me! (Elias laughs)

I know what I wanted to ask you about. In a recent session that you had with Rodney, Zacharie, one of the things - that was a really great session, I got a lot from that one - one of the things he talked about was how sounds seemed to be intensified when he's meditating. I've also experienced that, and I really appreciated what you had to say about that, but I wanted to ask you something a little more specific on those lines.

Often when I'm meditating I get ... it's not a sound, for instance like somebody sneezing or closing a door or anything that I just really feel inside, because I get those, but sometimes I get a completely independent sound and it's like a different tone. It started when I was doing those color meditations. It seemed like whatever color I was meditating on, the sound would vary, for whatever reason. But I'm kind of curious about what that is exactly, where it's just that sound - it's just real quick, brief and gone - but it's like, "Whoa, what was that?" What is that?

ELIAS: This is merely your allowance of yourself to be incorporating a vibrational tone within a moment in relation to color and to a particular frequency, so to speak, that you may be engaging in the moment of certain meditational experiences. You are translating a vibrational quality into a tone that you may objectively audibly hear.

DEBI: Okay, very good. I wondered if it was something like that, but I just wanted to check with you. I have so many little things like that, that happen that are new that I don't remember happening before, and I just always want to ask somebody, "Hey, what is that?"

ELIAS: These are all offerings to yourself of widening your awareness objectively, and movement in conjunction with this shift in consciousness.

DEBI: Oh, very cool! Very cool. Okay then, let me ask you another one. I have my little daily walks among my favorite trees when I go to school every day, and I've kind of been playing around, interacting with them. Trees are just like this great fun new thing with me. But I've noticed what happens a lot is I'll project a type of an interaction or an acknowledgment - and I guess I have my favorite ones, you know - and I pass by them and sometimes it's like I'm getting some sort of a communication. I don't know if I'm picking up on their energy, but sometimes it's really strong and other times it's not, and it seems like if I just turn my awareness slightly and just acknowledge, all of a sudden I get this little ... it's always in my head, around behind my eyes, you know? I wondered if you could tell me a little bit about that?

ELIAS: I may express to you, this is an opportunity that you have allowed yourself to be recognizing different aspects of YOUR energy, for these trees, so to speak, are created or manifest through your perception; therefore, they are an embodiment, in a manner of speaking, of certain aspects of your own energy. They are a projection of your own energy. And in this, what you are allowing yourself to be interactive with and viewing and noticing are these aspects of your own energy that are not objectively familiar to you yet, but are becoming familiar to you. Therefore, in a manner of speaking what you are experiencing is a recognition of your own presence.

DEBI: Oh! There I go again, introducing myself to myself, huh?

ELIAS: HA HA HA! (Debi laughs) And is there not much to explore in this introduction? For there are many manners in which you may be continuing to introduce yourself to you. (Laughing)

DEBI: I'm all over the place!

ELIAS: Quite!

DEBI: I am all over the place!

ELIAS: You ARE all of the place, so to speak! Ha ha ha!

DEBI: I am the whole place! You know, that could be really comforting, and then sometimes that can make me feel really lonely. You know what I mean? Like, "Oh, there's gotta be somebody else here."

ELIAS: How shall this incorporate loneliness? For there is a recognition that there is no separation; therefore you may never be alone.

DEBI: Ah, that's great. I like that. You know, I had so much fun at the session in Castaic, and some of the things you talked about, and then Mary talked about, and of introducing ourselves to ourselves ... and I go to the college everyday, where I'm just surrounded by lots and lots of people, so I have plenty of opportunity to look for myself everywhere, and not just with people, with my trees and whatever.

But right after I got back from Castaic, one day this young man -Andrew is his name - approached me from across the parking lot, and I swear I thought he was going to walk up and say, "Hey, don't I know you?" but what was really weird was I almost wanted to say that! Since then there's something about this guy that just ... I talk to him like I talk to anybody normally, but the whole time I'm feeling like, "Oh my god, I'm talking to myself. I just know I am." (Laughing) And I wondered if you could tell me what's going on there?

ELIAS: Ha ha! And this once again is another offering that you are expressing to yourself in more of a recognition of a lack of separation, for you are interacting with yourself - for this individual is you, and you are the individual.

DEBI: God, that's just so bizarre! (Chuckles)

ELIAS: (Smiling) This is not to say that there are not other essences and other manifestations and other focuses beside yourself. But in actuality, beyond the veil of separation which has been created in your physical dimension, you are all intertwined for you are all consciousness, and there is in actuality no separation. Therefore, quite literally, you are the other individual and the other individual is you.

DEBI: Yes, and you know, it's really, really neat when sometimes ... like for instance with this individual and others - not everybody - but quite often it's like I'm making eye contact with somebody and it's like I know that they know.

ELIAS: Quite.

DEBI: And we don't say anything, because I wouldn't even know how to bridge that subject with them, but...

ELIAS: And it is unnecessary. Your communication is not only expressed through verbal language. You create many avenues of communication which are understood.

DEBI: And actually, a lot more through ... it seems to me there's a lot more communication going on than the verbal.

ELIAS: You are correct. This is merely one avenue which is expressed, in a manner of speaking, for the purpose of interaction of communication with other individuals. Although, I may express to you, it also is not necessary, for you incorporate many avenues of communication which may be extended to other individuals also, and you do already practice with other avenues of communication.

DEBI: It's a lot of fun, huh?

ELIAS: (Chuckling) Quite! And you are aware that I am QUITE encouraging of fun and exploration.

DEBI: Yes, that's just the icing on the cake! Before I met you and some of the others, nobody ever told me that, hey, you know what your job is? It's to have fun! So I'm really trying to embrace that. But I have a long history of thinking that that was ... all the beliefs around that, but I'm trying to bust out of that. (Elias smiles and nods) I'm really trying to have some fun. And I am having fun, even when I am doing what I call my pounding on my high chair, whining and tantruming. I'm enjoying it! (Elias laughs) I love it or I wouldn't be doing it!

ELIAS: And I may express to you, this may be quite valuable within your recognition, that you allow yourself to be noticing that you may be incorporating fun even within the expressions that you view to be negative. For in actuality, they are not necessarily negative.

DEBI: No, they're not, and I'm really, really trying to embrace my dramatic self, shall we say.

ELIAS: Ha ha!

DEBI: Can't fight it, might as well go with it, right? (Elias laughs) I'm trying to not have as much trauma with my drama. (Laughing)

ELIAS: Ah! And trauma and drama are not necessarily synonymous!

DEBI: No! And I'm so happy to know that now! (Elias laughs) That's another little thing I'm working on. Okay, what have I got ... I've got just a couple little things here.

Let me ask you about a dream I had, okay? I had this dream that I was standing on the ground by this big tree, and all of a sudden, BAM, this big tiger lands at my feet. Somebody just threw it out of a tree, and I'm shocked - it's not like every day a tiger lands at your feet. All of a sudden a huge beautiful big strong white owl jumped out of the tree right next to it, and I realized at that point that the owl basically kicked the tiger out of the tree. The owl is big, bigger than me, and it's standing there and it's looking at me, and it was like I should be scared but I'm not. It was just really mesmerizing, and it seemed very significant. I talked to Margot a little bit about it, the white owl and things like that, but I just wondered what you can tell me about that.

ELIAS: First express to me what your impression is concerning this dream imagery.

DEBI: Well, it felt kind of like I was letting myself know ... it felt like that was me, almost like ... the owl had very yellow eyes which seemed significant to me, in that my essence family is Vold. And I thought, "Is that about me, and I'm letting me know that I'll take care of myself, that I'll protect ... there's nothing to worry about, there's nothing to be afraid of?"

ELIAS: Yes, essentially. For you present yourself with a creature that may appear to be imposing and threatening in the tiger, which is also an aspect of you, and you also present yourself with the owl that appears to be triumphing over the threat or the imposing expression - that which may be viewed as fear - and in this, you present the imagery that the acceptance is stronger than the fear.

DEBI: Oh! Okay, very good! I've got a couple minutes left, so how about we do this? I've given a little bit more effort to our little connecting with shared focuses game - "game" for lack of a better word - between yourself and myself. I got a couple of images, but nothing like I got before. I don't know if this is you and me or somebody else. (Laughing) So how about I run a couple by you?

ELIAS: Very well.

DEBI: Okay. The first day, it looked like a female preparing to embrace somebody else, but I couldn't see the other person - a young female, maybe she was going to hug or kiss somebody. I also got an image of a hand holding an orange disk, or like a double orange disk, kind of like one after the other. They may be related, I'm not sure.

ELIAS: I may express to you, yes, this is a focus that you engage. I may also express to you that this particular focus is not one in which we participate together, but in which you participate with other individuals in this forum.

DEBI: Oh!

ELIAS: Therefore, you may continue in your investigation. I shall also offer you the clue that this particular focus occupies a physical location of Egypt.

DEBI: Okay. And the orange disk was involved in the same focus, right...

ELIAS: Yes.

DEBI: ...and the female, the female and the orange disk. Oh, I like that! Give me a clue - I feel like a real sleuth.

ELIAS: Ha ha ha! (Debi laughs)

DEBI: Okay, let me give you the other one. This is just yesterday; I got all of these relatively close together. First was a pile of keys, gold and silver keys, just in a big pile, and then I heard myself yelling at somebody. I was really ticked off about a book, something about a book, and I clearly heard what I was saying, but I can't remember what it was now. Then, right after that, there was a dark-haired woman standing in a really big room, kind of like maybe ... not a castle, but a very large room. She was dressed very nicely, kind of velvety-looking clothing. I don't know if those are all related or separate or what.

ELIAS: Now; once again, express to me your impression concerning this imagery.

DEBI: Well, I think that because I basically have the intent of investigating a shared focus between you and me, and the fact that they happened relatively, one, two, three, right after the other, I'm thinking that they probably are related to that and possibly to each other.

ELIAS: I may express to you, you have offered yourself imagery concerning you in relation to your investigations, and in this you are offering yourself imagery of keys and the book and the woman as symbology to yourself; that in recognition of yourself and an allowance of yourself as a glorious creature, which is the symbology of the woman, you may seek information, which you offer yourself the symbology of the book, and the keys are your symbology of allowing yourself to relax and therefore open or unlock your doors to other areas of consciousness that shall allow you to seek out what you are investigating.

DEBI: Oh, I love that, that's so cool! (Elias chuckles) It's fun, isn't it? (Elias chuckles) Okay, well I've got a little bit of homework then. I think I've got five minutes - how about a Game impression?

ELIAS: Very well.

DEBI: Oh, I've really been wrestling with this one, so I'm just going to go ahead and come out with it. I don't know why I wrestle with it. I want to enter redwoods in the "Trees" category with purple [Zuli].

ELIAS: One point.

DEBI: Oh! I'm so glad I went with that! (Both chuckle) It just seems that because they're called redwoods that, you know, there's that Milumet thing over there and I fought it. Okay, good! I get a little bit of acknowledgement of how I do things. (Elias chuckles)

All right then, last but not least: I wanted to ask you, because I'm going to visit our friend Elveta, Nadia, tomorrow, and I know that she's been unable to objectively speak with you, and I just wondered if there's anything I could tell her from you.

ELIAS: You may offer to Nadia my greetings, my continued acknowledgment of her, and my expression of continued offering of energy in playfulness with her. And in this, you may also convey in objective terms my tremendous affection for this individual, and you may express that she may be watchful for the manifestation of a butterfly.

DEBI: Oh, that's fantastic! And I will give her a huge hug for you.

ELIAS: Ah! Very well!

DEBI: Well, you know I could talk to you all night, but Mary has an appointment. So I will let you go, and I thank you so much for your help today. I just want to tell you how much fun it is to be able to talk with you like this.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. I anticipate our continued interaction and our next meeting. I express to you also a tremendous affection and an offering of energy in encouragement. To you this day, au revoir.

DEBI: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 6:04 PM.

The Game board can be accessed on-line at http://www.eliasweb.at/related/game.html

For more information about the Game, again on-line, go to http://www.eliasforum.org/digests/game.html



(c)2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 2001 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.