Session 480
Translations: DE

Expectations within Relationships


“Expectations within Relationships”
“The Orientation of Soft”
“Get Some New Shoes!

Wednesday, September 29, 1999 © 2000 (Private/Phone)
Participants:  Mary (Michael) and Sheri (Milde).
Elias arrives at 12:21 PM. (Arrival time is 21 seconds)

ELIAS:  Good morning!

SHERI:  Good morning! (Elias chuckles) I have a question for you — I have several questions for you.

ELIAS:  Very well.  You may proceed.

SHERI:  Thank you.  I was wondering if I have a belief that there’s more I need to do to be in a romantic relationship, the type that I desire.

ELIAS:  (Laughing)  Ah!  Now, here is the presentment of what you would term to be a complicated question! (Chuckling)

SHERI:  Oh, I thought it was simple!

ELIAS:  In this, in the context of your question — do you believe that there is more that you must be engaging to be interactive within a romantic relationship — I shall express to you, yes, very much so, within the direction of your beliefs.  As to the actuality of what you need be doing, so to speak, no.

Now; I shall offer to you that there are many aspects of belief systems that you align with in the area of relationships, in all of the expressions of relationships, for as with many other individuals, you compartmentalize different relationships and you view them as separate and quite different types of expressions.  Therefore, you create a distinguishment between a romantic relationship and a relationship of a friend or of a family member or an individual that you may create a relationship with in the area of your employment.

These are all boxed into different types of expressions, and there are lines dividing these different relationships within your belief systems, in how you shall be expressing yourself and how other individuals shall be expressing themselves, which direction you shall follow within your behaviors, and what you hold in expectations.

Now; behaviors and expectations are key elements in the belief system of relationships.

In the expression of romantic relationships, you hold more expectations of yourself and of other individuals.

In this, you also look to your behavior and the behavior of the other individual and you place more guidelines upon these behaviors.  There are specific areas in which you hold underlyingly what you may term to be the ideal expectations of the entity of the relationship itself or the creation of the relationship itself.

Now; in this, I shall also express to you that this in itself creates a limiting element within your expression, for you lean in the direction of creating a relationship with another individual in intimacy, but you move your attention into a focus upon the relationship itself as an entity within itself, and not necessarily merely the interaction between yourself and another individual.

This creates difficulties, for this distracts the attention away from self and partially away from the other individual, and therefore there appears to be areas in which certain underlying expectations are never met.

Now; let me also express to you that in viewing these aspects of belief systems, if you are turning your attention to self and not concentrating upon the subject matter, so to speak, of relationship itself, you may be allowing yourself much more freedom within your expression.  In this, you shall also allow yourself much more of an ease in drawing to yourself the type of interaction that you desire.

I express to you that if you are turning your attention to self and examining the areas in which you hold expectations in what you want within your own individual behavior and expressions and what you expect in the behaviors and expressions of another individual, this may allow you the opportunity to move through some of these strongly held aspects of the belief system.

In this also, recognize the element of perception.

(Intently)  Now; this is a key element, for in the engagement of intimate relationships, individuals — yourself also — place great demands upon other individuals to be interactive with themselves in the manner in which they would be interactive with themselves.

Now; what I am expressing to you is that underlyingly, you may engage in an intimate relationship with another individual, and once you have established this engagement, you begin to express — not within thought process but within behavior — the expectation that the other individual shall express to you in the manner in which you would be expressing to yourself, or in the manner that you shall express to them.

Now; let me also express to you that this is quite common within physical focus, and this occurs for the reason that individuals think in absolutes, and you may express to me, within yourself, that you do not think in absolutes, and the mere thought is an absolute.

I express to you that this is the opportunity to view, especially within this time framework of this present wave in consciousness, that individuals all hold differences in perceptions, and as I have stated previously, your perception is that instrument in which you create your reality — each of you.  Therefore, each of you holds a different reality.  Although it may objectively appear similar, there are aspects of each individual’s reality that is different.

In your natural inclination to not be creating conflict, you magnate to the creation of expectations in relation to other individuals, that they shall create their reality in like manner to yourself.

Now; in certain areas you allow for some differences, and this you label as stimulating, and at times challenging and interesting.  But in certain basic areas that you deem to be quite important — in the areas of consideration, understanding, supportiveness, affection, love — there is held an underlying expectation that the other individual shall offer to you in the same manner that you offer to them.  This is an area within objective expression that creates tremendous obstacles and difficulties between individuals in intimate relationship.

Now; this is merely one area in which you hold underlying aspects of beliefs which are affecting of you within the engagement and the creation of intimate relationships.

In this, once again I express to you to be turning your attention to self; not to be concerning yourself necessarily with the expressions of other individuals, but to be looking to self and to be examining your beliefs concerning self and which areas you hold expectations of yourself within.

You lean in the direction of expectations of self, that you shall be continuously giving, in your terms, to another individual, and you view this to be good.  You also view that you may be offering the expressions of listening and understanding and affection to another individual, and these are good.

Now; I am not expressing to you that they be good or bad expressions.  I am merely offering to you an explanation of your evaluation of your beliefs in this area.

You also hold an expectation within yourself that you need be offering all of yourself to another individual in a pleasing manner.

And I express to you, as any of you move in the direction of creating an evaluation of what you believe to be pleasing, you are immediately discounting of yourselves, for this is an expression that moves in the direction that you are not pleasing enough already, that there may be certain actions, certain behaviors, certain movements that you may create — certain adjustments to your physical presentment, your emotional presentment, your mental presentment, your intellectual presentment of yourself that may be expressed better — and this will facilitate your interaction with another individual and therefore provide you with the type of relationship that you wish to create.

And I express to you that it shall not, for this is a devaluation of self, and in this devaluation of self, you are projecting energy to the other individual — without thought, without verbal audible communication, but within energy — and the other individual shall mirror to you what you already hold in your evaluation of self, and therefore you merely create the hamster wheel of disappointment.

This is the action of looking outside of self to be creating your fulfillment, and creating in actuality a disappointment within self, for you are merely reinforcing the elements in which you are already discounting of self.

Therefore, I express to you that within the engagement of an intimate relationship temporarily, within what you term to be a short time framework, you may be accomplishing an excitement and a momentary expression that may appear to be fulfilling to you objectively.

But if you are inquiring in the direction of wishing to be creating a relationship in long standing with another individual that shall be offering you the objective experience that you seek, I suggest to you that you begin in the addressment to self and your noticing of the expectations that you hold within self and in conjunction of other individuals.

Let me also express to you that in this action, you may view that certain aspects of these belief systems may appear to you to be moved through quite quickly merely by the noticing and the recognition of what they are and that they exist, for an element of the difficulty is that you do not view or notice your own behavior objectively, and once noticing, once allowing yourself to view and to recognize your own interaction and your own expectations, you may find that you may be moving through some of these expressions quite easily and quickly.  Are you understanding?

SHERI:  I’m understanding, but in the last three or four years I’ve been trying to do so much of that — or I thought I was doing it — of getting to know myself and bringing it back to self, and it doesn’t sound like I have, too much.

ELIAS:  Ah!  (Elias becomes very deliberate here)

Now, do not be reinforcing a discounting of self in this area, for I am not expressing to you that you have not created movement in this area, and this is quite an easy expression to be slipping into.

What I am addressing to is the expectations that you hold upon self in creating better and creating an expression of yourself that appears to be more acceptable, and in this, as you turn your attention to self, not to be reinforcing discounting of yourself.

Let me express to you slightly differently.

You may be engaging another individual, hypothetically, and in the engagement of interaction with another individual — as you have offered yourself information — if the other individual is creating of any type of expression that may be involving confusion or conflict within you, you shall turn your attention to self in evaluation of information that you have offered yourself to this point within your time framework.  But what you are creating is an expectation upon self, which in turn also creates a particular type of expression within behavior, for you continue to be discounting of your movement.

Other individuals may be creating of any type of expression, and in this, you hold the choice of how you shall receive the projection of energy that they are expressing.

Now; in your reception, you turn the energy UPON yourself.  There is a difference between applying this information in evaluation of your participation — and accepting yourself in your participation in any interaction — and the expression of turning your attention UPON yourself to be expressing to yourself that you are not accomplishing well enough or that you may be accomplishing better if you are allowing yourself more enlightenment.

What I am expressing to you is the element of acceptance of self in the area of expectations, and to be looking to the areas in which you hold expectations upon yourself and therefore drive yourself objectively to be better.

Listen to what you are expressing each time you evaluate that you may be better than you already are.  This is a reinforcement of discounting, and in that reinforcement of discounting, you perpetuate this energy, and you may move in any direction that you are so choosing and this shall continue, for there is an expectation placed upon self that you shall be accomplishing better.  Is this clearer?

SHERI:  Yes, much clearer.  Thank you.  Are we ready for the next question?

ELIAS:  Yes.

SHERI:  Okay.  I was wondering, what is my connection to Prann?  Have I accomplished what I intended to with this relationship?  And if you could tell me what his orientation and families are. (Pause)

ELIAS:  Orientation, common; essence family, Sumari; alignment, Vold.

As to your connection, so to speak, with this individual, I express to you that you have engaged other focuses with this individual, and within this particular focus presently, you have offered yourself an interaction that offers you the opportunity to view differences and allows you the opportunity to be challenging of yourself in many areas.

As to your question of your accomplishment with this individual, what is your expectation of your accomplishment within the interaction of this individual? (Smiling)

SHERI:  It seems to me that I’ve used him or his energy or whatever to learn to validate myself, and it feels like I’ve done that quite a bit.

ELIAS:  And I pose to you the inquiry, has this accomplished your goal, so to speak? (Still smiling)

SHERI:  Well, I wasn’t objectively aware of my goal to begin with, I guess, so in hindsight, I would say yes.

ELIAS:  (Laughing)  This is also an expression in conjunction of that which we have been speaking this morning, in your looking outside of self to be offering yourself the validation or the measure of value that you seek within self.

Now; as I have expressed in my statement to you ... that within this focus you hold the interaction with this individual to be offering to yourself an opportunity.

Now; in that, I express to you, yes, you are beginning to be accomplishing, for you are allowing yourself to view that YOU need be offering this validation to self, and that it may not necessarily be acquired within you from the offering of another individual.

As to the actual accomplishment of your receiving a validation of your worth, no, you have not accomplished this, for this is not to be accomplished.  But as to a much more intimate accomplishment, yes, you are allowing yourself through this interaction to be challenging of yourself, and therefore also to be recognizing that these elements shall be manifest within you, not acquired from outside of you.

SHERI:  Right.  I think that’s what I was doing with him, because I got no validation from him.

ELIAS:  Correct, and this offers you what I have expressed, in an opportunity. (Gotta love the “O” word!)

SHERI:  Okay, thank you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.

SHERI:  I have another one for you.  Will you give me some information about why I have backaches and lichen planus, and what I can do to be through with them? (13-second pause)

ELIAS:  This also is a creation which is objectively expressed and which is held in energy in areas of your physical body that are physically affecting, that continue to be, in a figurative manner of speaking, a flashing beacon to you to be turning your attention to self.

Now; I shall express to you also, in quite physical terms, that you may be altering of your objective choice of shoes, and this may be altering of a partial element of your creation physically.

But I shall also express to you that this shall be temporary if you are not addressing to the underlying aspect of the acceptance of self, for as you address to the acceptance of self, you shall also dissipate, more and more, the physical affectingness that you have been creating within your physical body.  This is merely a flashing reminder to you to be continuing to turn your attention to your own acceptance, even within your presentment of your physical body.

But merely within physical terms, I may also be suggesting to you that you be noticing your choice of foot covering in your shoes, and if you are altering of these also, you may be noticing difference in your physical expression.

SHERI:  And that was the lichen planus also, the acceptance of self?  And can you tell me in what areas of acceptance?  ‘Cause I’ve been working on that, and I know ... well, whatever.

ELIAS:  This would be emphasized presently within this wave in consciousness which addresses to the belief system of sexuality.

Therefore, I shall express to you that within the other manifestation that you have created, this would be directly related to your acceptance of physical manifestation, and areas in which you view that your physical presentment within this dimension is not entirely acceptable.

SHERI:  Okay, thank you.

ELIAS:  You are quite welcome.

SHERI:  Do I have time for more?

ELIAS:  Yes.

SHERI:  Okay.  I was wondering, previously you told someone that I was orientation soft, and I was wondering if you could give me some idea ... I thought I was common.  Can you tell me how I fit soft?

ELIAS:  Yes.

The orientation of soft creates a reality through a perception which moves subjectively and objectively, inner and outer, in expression.

Now; in this, you block certain elements of the expression of your orientation of soft, for there are also underlying aspects of beliefs that influence you in the allowance of your free flow of your energy in different types of outward expressions.

In this, let me express to you that you also move in the area of addressing to self in the expression of your orientation, for this particular orientation creates what you may term to be a very fine line between the subjective and objective awarenesses.  This orientation is creating, as I have stated, inwardly and outwardly.

This orientation also is quite interactive with other individuals.  This also is a motivating force in why you hold attention in the area of relationships, for this is a natural expression of this particular orientation.  Individuals holding the orientation of soft shall be creating difficulties and much conflict within their focus if they are NOT interactive with other individuals.

They experience a very strong draw to be holding intimacy in many types of relationships.  Therefore, their interaction with other individuals may appear slightly more extreme than individuals holding different orientation, but this also is not in compliance with the mass belief systems.  Therefore, there is a leaning in the direction of individuals holding the orientation of soft to be blocking of their own natural expressions and inclinations.

(Intently)  Their feelings move contrary to their outward expression, for in your physical terms, you shall “tone down” your outward expression, that it may be more acceptable.

This is another area in which you underlyingly express to yourself that you may be accomplishing better.

I express to you, allow yourself to merely be yourself and to be expressing your energy, your creations, in a natural flow.  They are acceptable in whatever choices you naturally move into, and it is unnecessary for you to be harnessing yourself.

Let me say to you:  You are not yourself upon yourself as a horse, and you need not be reining yourself in or directing yourself in the expression of the mass.  You are acceptable in your own expressions, though they may deviate at times from individuals within the mass expressions.

But in this, you have become quite accomplished at covering the view, in like manner to the horse that views straight ahead, for this is acceptable within mass belief systems and within your mass society.  Therefore, it has become almost automatic, and this be the reason that you have associated your orientation with that of the expression of common.

Be remembering, soft is creating outwardly also, in like manner to yourself, in like manner to individuals holding the orientation of common, but there are very distinct differences.

SHERI:  What is an example of creating inwardly?  I guess that’s the part I don’t recognize.

ELIAS:  Within the orientation of soft, this movement occurs together with the outward.  Therefore, within the orientation of soft, you may view that your dream and waking state may cross over each other.  You may view that it appears that your dream and waking state are quite interactive, or mirror each other many times in very similar imagery.

SHERI:  Yes, very much.

ELIAS:  This is an expression that occurs in imagery in conjunction with the lack of separation which has been created between the objective and subjective awarenesses within the orientation of soft.  Many elements of subjective movement appear objective.

Even within the time frameworks in which there is not necessarily an absolute or a solid identification, figuratively speaking, of what may be occurring subjectively, individuals holding the orientation of soft, for the most part, hold an awareness of subjective movement much of their time framework.  You may not necessarily identify in thoughts or in terms what movement is occurring, but you hold a knowing objectively that you are creating subjective movement.

In this, many times you may allow yourself the recognition of what you are creating subjectively more quickly than an individual holding the orientation of common.

There is almost a continuous knowing within individuals holding the orientation of soft that there is a continuous movement occurring within them.

SHERI:  Thank you.  Tell me, who is Ramona? (Pause)

ELIAS:  And this is the name you have presented to yourself?

SHERI:  Yes. (Pause)

ELIAS:  This is the physical focus name of another focus of yourself within this dimension.  This individual occupies a physical location in what you would term to be southern region of Spain.

SHERI:  Oh, Spain.  I thought France. (17-second pause)

ELIAS:  You may continue. (Smiling)

SHERI:  Okay, I was waiting for you!  Do you have a time frame?

ELIAS:  Time framework, eighteenth century.

SHERI:  And she’s another physical focus of my essence?

ELIAS:  Yes, you are correct.

SHERI:  Okay.  Could I get the names and families and orientations of four people?

ELIAS:  Yes, you may.

SHERI:  Don? (Pause)

ELIAS:  Flourra; F-L-O-U-R-R-A. (flou’ra, rolling the “R”)  Essence family, Sumafi; alignment, Vold. (25 second pause)  Continue.

SHERI:  Oh, the orientation of him also. (DUH, Elias!)

ELIAS:  Orientation, common.

SHERI:  Lucy, and the same information. (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Douge; D-O-U-G-E. (doo-zhae’)  Essence family, Sumari; alignment, Milumet; orientation, intermediate.

SHERI:  And Jim? (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Slaide; S-L-A-I-D-E. (slade)  Essence family, Tumold; alignment, Gramada; orientation, common.

SHERI:  And Lou? (Pause)

ELIAS:  Essence name, Barrah; B-A-R-R-A-H. (bar’ah)  Essence family, Sumari; alignment, Milumet; orientation, common.

SHERI:  Okay, thank you.

I feel that I don’t need to be concerned about money, and then I wonder if maybe I should be, and I was wondering if you could give me some insight on that.  I feel like it will always be there when I want it or need it.

ELIAS:  I shall be encouraging of you to continue in this expression, for this is an expression of trust of self and acceptance of self, and you may draw upon this expression, futurely and presently, and be validating of yourself in your ability to be creating of sufficient gain financially, and this shall be reinforcing to you in allowing you to view that you may be creating the same ease and the same accomplishment in any other area of your focus, and in this, I am acknowledging of your accomplishment in this expression of trust of self.

SHERI:  Thank you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.

SHERI:  I have another question, but I’m not sure how long it’ll be or if the answer might be too long for the time we have left, so I’ll ask it, and you tell me.

How does the fragmentation of essence show, if at all, in Jenny?  You previously said that my daughter Jenny was involved in fragmentation.  Is it something that I would notice objectively, and why is she doing it?  Or why would a person do it, but her specifically.

ELIAS:  First of all, I shall express to you that the individual physical focus is not necessarily creating the fragmentation.

The essences are creating the fragmentation, which in essence is affecting of the focuses, for subjectively, the focuses hold the choice as to which essence they shall be aligning with and shall be of, so to speak.

Objectively, this may be creating of some temporary elements of confusion or some temporary expressions of inconsistencies, so to speak, or differences within behaviors within a particular focus.

Rarely, although it may at times occur, but rarely shall a focus be extremely objectively experiencing an affectingness of this action.

Essences are continuously fragmenting.  This is a natural action, a natural flow of energy and motion within essence.

There is a continuous desire to be exploring and expressing, and therefore there is a continuous movement of mergence and movement out of mergence and intertwining of essences, and a continuous creation within the movement of individual essences.

Vic’s note:  Here, there is a 21-second pause, at the very end of which Elias pops out, Mary pops back in, and the phone rings.

MARY:  Oh, here we go again!  This is such a retarded thing! (Staring at the phone with an “Oh, brother!” look)

BREAK:   1:27 PM
RESUME:  1:29 PM (Arrival time is 8 seconds)

ELIAS:  Continuing!

SHERI:  Sorry!

ELIAS:  Ha ha ha ha ha!

SHERI:  I don’t know what happened!  You were just gone!

ELIAS:  This is a temporary interruption in energy which has been created in conjunction with your energy in apprehensiveness.

I shall continue to offer to you, in explanation, that even individually, essences are continuously fragmenting.

Therefore, this essence is merely creating a natural movement, and you need hold no concern in this area.  You may notice certain expressions that may appear to you temporarily to be inconsistent or slightly different, but objectively, this shall not be creating of a tremendous interruption objectively within her focus.

SHERI:  What would be the reason that you would express that there’s a fragmentation occurring at some times if it’s happening all the time anyway?

ELIAS:  The reason that I express this in conjunction with a particular individual is merely to be eliminating of confusion in the inquiries of essence names and families, for previously, individuals have inquired of essence names and families and subsequently have engaged this type of activity, which has affected the focus in altering the essence name and at times also altering the family and alignment, and this appears objectively to you, within your transcribing, to be inconsistencies.

Therefore, as this has been addressed previously, I have chosen to be offering at times, during the occurrence of this action, that explanation, and if the individual focus is choosing to be altering essence, they shall hold an objective understanding and explanation in why they have been offered two different essence names or families within two different time frameworks.

SHERI:  Got it.  Okay, one other quick question that I just thought of.  Have you had anything to do with my monitor, my cordless phone, or my coffee pot?  What’s going on with them?

ELIAS:  I shall express to you that I have been interactive within energy which is affecting of your electrical equipment temporarily ... NOT with an interaction of your computer.

But with other electrical equipment, I have temporarily been interactive within energy, which is at times affecting of the functioning of these elements.

I am merely offering an expression of presence and an expression of greetings! (Grinning)

SHERI:  Well, I greet you back!  Are they gonna work again? (Laughing)

ELIAS:  Ha ha ha ha ha!

SHERI:  I’ve already replaced the phone!  Do I need to replace the coffee pot, or am I just gonna plug it in and it’ll work? (Laughing)

ELIAS:  Ha ha ha ha ha!  It may be working and not working within different time frameworks!  This is merely a playful expression, although I shall discontinue if you are so choosing! (Laughing)

SHERI:  Well, I enjoy your playfulness!  I wondered if it was you, and I thought, “Well, gee, I don’t know if that’s him or not.” (Elias laughs)  I like the little blue things I see once in a while, and I go, “Oh, I wonder if that’s Elias?”

ELIAS:  This is QUITE an expression of my energy, and you may be assured of that.

SHERI:  I had a dream a while back, and it involved some beautiful blue balloons.  Did that have anything to do with you?

ELIAS:  This was an expression of interaction with my energy within your dream imagery to be offering a reinforcement to you prior to our objective engagement and meeting, in an expression of awareness and identification that I am interactive with you.

SHERI:  Thank you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.  I express great affection to you both this day.

SHERI:  Well, thank you, and it is returned to you.

ELIAS:  And I offer much encouragement in your continuation of your movement.  To you both this day, in much lovingness, au revoir.

SHERI:  Au revoir.

Elias departs at 1:36 PM.

Vic’s note:  Regarding Elias’ references of “to you both,” there was another person listening to this session up until the phone problem.

© 2000  Vicki Pendley/Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

Copyright 1999 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.