Personal Responsibility/Self Worth
Topics:
“Personal Responsibility/Self Worth”
“From One Extreme to
the Other”
“Not Quite Good Enough”
Wednesday, July 28, 1999-1
© 1999 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Julie (Lanyah).
Elias arrives at 11:19 AM. (Arrival time is 16 seconds)
ELIAS: Good morning, Lanyah!
JULIE: Good morning, Elias!
ELIAS: We meet again!
JULIE: Yes, we do! It’s been a very long time.
ELIAS: (Chuckling) And you have questions this day?
JULIE: I do have questions today. I’m having a lot of trouble
resolving my relationship with Kevin. We just recently went separate
ways, and I’ve created a pretty nasty kidney
infection, and I have a feeling that the two are related.
ELIAS: You are correct, and you are wishing for information concerning
this matter?
JULIE: Yes.
ELIAS: Very well. Let us examine the situation and why you
create certain events, certain situations, and certain circumstances within
your focus, and once you are availing yourself of information as to why
and how you are creating certain directions within your focus, you may
more efficiently address to these areas and move through certain issues
that create obstacles for you.
In this, in examining the directions that you choose in the area of
relationships, you move in certain types of directions in drawing yourself
into relationships with other individuals in intimate manner to be reinforcing
of certain aspects of beliefs that you hold very strongly.
Now; in this, you have created a certain direction throughout your focus.
As you entered into this particular focus presently, you have presented
yourself with many different types of challenges, but in the expression
of these challenges, the underlying movement of them has been very similar
and has created certain evaluations within yourself in this focus to move
you in certain directions.
Now; let me also express to you that this is influenced by other focuses,
and your entering into this focus carrying certain aspects of belief systems
with you already. Therefore, you had already, in a manner of speaking
figuratively, predisposed yourself to a certain type of direction and reinforcement
within these certain belief systems. Now I shall be more specific.
JULIE: Is that concerning sexuality?
ELIAS: Not merely sexuality, but also in areas of worth and areas
of personal responsibility.
Now; within the combination of these issues, it creates a movement which
within your focus has created a very particular type of line of probabilities,
in a manner of speaking, for as you continue through your focus, you merely
change the circumstances or the situations, which are the objective outward
manifestations, but the underlying issues remain the same, and this filters
out into all of your reality. It is affecting of many, many areas
of your reality, which we have spoken of previously in other discussions
together with respect to your creativity. This combination of issues
is the same. It merely manifests itself in different manners.
Now; in this, let us recount, so to speak, for as you entered into this
focus, carrying these beliefs with you into this focus, you quite purposefully
set into motion a specific direction and a very specific pool of probabilities
which you have continued within throughout your focus — as a child, as
an adolescent, and now as an adult. You have continued in your creations
in the same direction, holding personal responsibility for other individuals,
but simultaneously holding very strong issues in the area of worth of self,
and therefore creating issues in your designs in relationships. This
is not merely within relationships of intimacy as to partners, but also
within what you term to be family. You create this in any type of
relationship that you view to be intimate or close.
Now; in this, you create different expressions with different types
of relationships. Let us examine this also.
In relationships that you choose with respect to individuals that you
draw to yourself to create a partnership with, you create a specific type
of movement with these individuals. With relationships of intimacy
in family, you create a different type of expression.
In relationships with partners, you draw to yourself individuals that
excite you objectively and create much distraction within your experiences.
Therefore, you create a lack of boredom, but you also create a barrier
that you shall not allow another individual to penetrate. Your energy
field becomes very strong, very solid.
In this, you shall allow participation of experiences and activities
and events with another individual and you shall allow yourself your expression
outwardly of emotional expressions, but you shall not allow the receiving
of other individuals’ expressions, for you have created this barrier quite
strongly. This is created in response to your perception of worth,
and as you feel and perceive within yourself a tremendous lack of worth,
you also block the expression of other individuals.
As to intimate relationships with family, you create this same type
of action, but in a very different type of expression. With certain
individuals of family, you objectively repel interaction with and create
a thickness, for this reinforces the barrier that you place between yourself
and them. With other individuals, you do not create this type of
an expression, but you create the type of expression of helplessness, which
also creates a barrier, for although surfacely and objectively it APPEARS
that you allow a closeness in this type of expression, and objectively
it APPEARS that you allow closeness and a receiving from another individual,
in actuality, you do not. You merely camouflage in a different manner.
This is directly influenced by your issue with personal responsibility
for other individuals.
You wish not to be offending of another individual. You feel obligated
and responsible for other individuals, and you feel within you and perceive
in your reality that you need be offering continuous helpfulness to other
individuals. Therefore, your design of creating that type of expression
is to create within you a type of helplessness in your expression, which
then offers the other individual the opportunity to be helpful to you.
(Directly and firmly) Are you following how this turns?
JULIE: Yes.
ELIAS: Very good. Now; in this, your camouflage has developed
very strongly throughout your focus, but you have been practicing with
this camouflage for many, many years and you have become quite accomplished
at it. And all of this camouflage is projected to be protecting of
yourself, for within your perception, it shall not do to be exposing yourself
and to be open and vulnerable, for if you are expressing in this manner,
not merely yourself shall know the truth of your unworthiness, but all
other individuals shall also recognize and be exposed to your great unworthiness.
For we are quite aware that you fall short of the mark and are not quite
good enough, as a partner, as a sibling, as a daughter, as a friend, as
an artist, as any particular given expression that you may create within
your focus all fall short of the mark, for this focus of Lanyah is not
quite good enough.
JULIE: Yeah, I’m working on that!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha!
JULIE: I was going to say that there is some good news that I
wanted to share.
ELIAS: Ah, and you may, but let us initially address to this,
for this holds importance, and now — within this present now — you hold
the readiness to hear. Previously, I have expressed very similar
information to you, and you have not heard, for you have not held the readiness.
You held the desperation and the frustration and the wanting of solutions,
but not the readiness to look to self. Now you move into the area
of readiness to look to self and to hear that this may be how you perceive
yourself, but your perception is not the measure of your worth. Not
even your perception or your experiences may measure your worth, for it
is independent of these expressions.
I express to you also that in recognizing these patterns that you express
so very efficiently, you may also recognize how and why you draw to yourself
certain relationships in partnerships, for you draw to yourself individuals
that hold many differences from yourself. You draw to yourself individuals
that hold different orientations from yourself. You draw to yourself
individuals that you shall hold difficulty in creating this type of relationship
with, and therefore you do not create relationships in lasting manners,
but you WISH to be creating relationship in a lasting expression.
The reason that you do not is that you draw to yourself individuals that
shall reinforce your issue that you hold in the area of worthiness.
In this, you shall express in your movement with them helpfulness and
caring and devotion, and you shall express yourself quite positively, and
this also reinforces your issue of worthiness, for subsequently you may
express to yourself, “What am I creating wrong? I am offering kindness
and lovingness and loyalty and acceptance of this individual, and it is
not returned, and why shall this be?”
But this is the same type of camouflage as the helplessness with family,
which does not allow penetration. It holds at bay the energy of another
individual, and other individuals recognize this holding at bay.
They recognize the obstacle and that they may not penetrate. Therefore,
their attention turns, for you shall not continue to move in certain directions
if you are not receiving your payoff.
NO individual shall continue in directions that do not provide their
payoff, and if an individual is seeking the payoff of intimacy and is not
receiving that, they shall not continue to be moving in that direction,
and in the situation that you create, you do not allow other individuals
to become intimate with you.
And NOW you are creating even further, in creating dis-ease within yourself
and therefore repelling even farther, for who shall be involving themselves
intimately with this unworthy creature who not only shall provide them
with obstacles in intimacy, but shall also be expressing dis-ease, which
may become a contagion?! My, my! (Chuckling, and Julie sighs)
I shall express to you that you ARE accomplishing much more efficiently
and much more within acceptance of self in the area of your creativity.
JULIE: True. That’s what I was thinking, actually.
I have sort of a new environment that I’m inspired by, and I feel more
independent.
ELIAS: And you are allowing yourself much more trust in this area
and much more acceptance, which in turn allows you much more freedom in
your expression of your creativity, does it not?
JULIE: Oh, it definitely does!
ELIAS: And in this, you reinforce yourself also in the circle,
in viewing that the freedom allows you greater ability within your creative
expression, which appears to you, in very physical terms, to be better
and better! This you offer yourself as an example of the other side
of the coin, so to speak. You are viewing many areas in relationships
which create conflict and confusion and anxiety within you and move in
the circle of reinforcing a lack of trust and a lack of acceptance with
self, but you also provide yourself with another area of your focus which
holds great intimacy with self, and you express accomplishment in that
area and reinforce in that area the acceptance and trust of self.
The reason that you are providing yourself with these two very dissimilar
expressions simultaneously is that you may continue to view the expression
within your creativity, and you may translate this into other areas of
your focus.
JULIE: Well, that’s encouraging!
ELIAS: Quite!
JULIE: That’s encouraging!
ELIAS: You are very correct!
JULIE: I do have a question about a man that I’ve been seeing.
His name is Drew, and I’m curious as to what his essence name is and his
essence family. (Pause)
ELIAS: Essence name, Elgin; E-L-G-I-N. (el’gin) Essence
family, Sumari; alignment, Milumet.
JULIE: That’s interesting. That’s sort of an interesting
situation as well. I think I feel guilty that I am pursuing a relationship
with someone outside of Kevin that makes me very happy.
ELIAS: But within the Milumet alignment does not provide you with
the intensity of excitement!
JULIE: I see!
ELIAS: Ah, and this also you may look to as encouragement!
Now; do not misunderstand what I am expressing to you. I am not
encouraging you to move into directions of what you in physical focus might
term to be blandness or a lack of excitement, for I am ALWAYS encouraging
all individuals to be moving into areas of pleasure and fun. This
may involve excitement, but excitement may be expressed in many different
manners, not merely in areas of sensationalism. This is not to say
that excitement in areas of sensationalism is bad, for it is not, but individuals
shall be creating of certain expressions for certain reasons, so to speak,
within their experiences.
In this, some individuals are creating great excitement throughout their
focus and this creates no conflict within them, and they may continue throughout
their focus and they hold no confusion and no conflict with their expressions.
They also hold no conflict with the lack of interaction or the temporariness
of interaction of other individuals, for many individuals within physical
focus do not magnate continuously to expressions of great continuous excitement.
In this, as I have stated, this type of creation is not bad or wrong.
It is merely to be assessed within the individual as to whether it offers
you conflict or confusion or not.
Within your situation in your focus and what you create, you do magnate
to extremes in excitement, but you also create this type of movement as
a distraction, a diversion, and a camouflage, and it DOES create elements
of conflict, for within the extreme of the excitement, you allow yourself
the
extreme of emotional expression, and in this, you also create the extreme
of anxiety in your discontinuation of the excitement.
In this, you are not creating a balance. You are creating the
continuation of the pendulum swinging from one extreme to another.
The individual that you draw yourself to now does not hold the excitement
of previous partners, but this individual does hold commonalities in creative
expressions — in an understanding of creativity — in being of the Sumari
family. This individual also moves easily in and out of temporary
creations and expressions, which offers diversity; not in extreme, but
also not to be boring! Ha ha!
This individual also holds more attention in the direction of self and
in certain areas of calmness, and holds a leaning in the direction of exploration
of more elements of their reality than merely what may be viewed objectively.
This moves in conjunction with the alignment to the Milumet.
Now; this is not to say that this individual does not hold issues also,
for they do. I shall also express to you that this individual also
does not hold the same orientation as yourself, but I am not expressing
this to be discouraging of your relationship in this area, for you draw
yourself presently into a creation of this relationship to be offering
yourself information and opportunities to move through certain aspects
of these issues that you hold.
As I have expressed previously in discussions in conjunction with orientation,
individuals that draw themselves to other individuals holding different
orientations in intimate partnership relationships shall experience difficulties,
for they are, in a manner of speaking, speaking different languages, and
this does create difficulties and confusions and conflicts, but I have
also expressed that this may be temporary and is a choice.
It is not an absolute that if you are drawing yourself to an individual
of different orientation that you shall automatically not hold the ability
to create an intimate relationship. I am not expressing this.
I am merely expressing that you shall move into areas of difficulties as
you allow yourself or do not allow yourself to translate each other’s language,
but individuals experience a similar situation in drawing themselves together
as thought-focused and emotionally-focused individuals. This would
not be quite as extreme as the differences within orientations, but it
is similar in concept.
Therefore, I express to you, in actuality and speaking quite genuinely
to you, I may express to you that this particular relationship and the
direction that you are moving in presently and the probabilities that you
are creating presently is not the most probable probability within your
line presently for creating what you would term to be an ongoing, lasting
expression of relationship, and shall more probably be temporary.
But this is not to say that you may not avail yourself of much information
in that temporary time framework, and also be remembering that these are
all probabilities, and you hold the ability to alter this within any moment.
JULIE: I’ll remember that. I have a question about some
dream imagery that I’ve been having.
ELIAS: Very well.
JULIE: I’ve always been prone to nightmares, I guess in an attempt
to show myself things, but I think I’ve chosen some specific imagery lately
that is curious to me, and it’s been recurring. I’ve been having
nightmares with lions, and I’m wondering if that is at all related to my
issues with Kevin.
ELIAS: This would be imagery that you present yourself in relation
to yourself AND to other individuals in the very expression of our discussion
this day, in facing yourself, so to speak, with a creature or an entity
or energy that appears very threatening. This is the presentment
of other individuals that challenge you to openness. This individual
of which you speak — of your previous partner — has challenged you and
presented you with challenges to be noticing, looking to, and addressing
to these issues that you hold, challenging you in the area of allowing
yourself a vulnerability and an openness.
JULIE: Okay. I do have a question for another Drew.
This is the Drew that you probably speak to more often, and it is about
bird imagery, and he’s sort of wondering what all the birds are about.
ELIAS: There is much movement occurring within this final year
time framework of this millennium, which I have expressed previously.
In this, essences are also quite active within energy in lending expressions
that shall be gaining attention in this time framework. Essences
also, in conjunction with yourselves — I am speaking now of nonphysically
focused essences in conjunction with each of you as essences and focuses
of essences — move in harmony within the action of this shift, in offering
yourselves and offering expressions to each other that shall gain your
attention objectively within your physical focus.
Therefore, what is being presented with many individuals presently is
much imagery in relation to birds. This would the expression, as
you are aware, of the essence of Rose. The reason that there is imagery
presented in this manner is that it may be gaining attention to be redirecting
individuals’ attention in physical focus to the action of this shift, for
objectively, individuals presently are moving in directions of concentrating
too intensely upon self, to the point of distraction and confusion, and
in this are thwarting their own efforts, in a manner of speaking, and not
moving in conjunction with this shift in consciousness. Therefore,
there is imagery offered by Rose to be moving the attention in the direction
of the shift.
Each time you are presented with imagery that is of birds, you automatically
now hold a thought in conjunction with Rose. Therefore, there is
an automatic response, and in this, the intention is accomplished, for
there is an offering of the objective expression, and the attention is
diverted once again to the direction of this shift.
JULIE: I see. Could I ask another question?
ELIAS: You may.
JULIE: This one is sort of with Cathy in mind. It’s about
the Ouija board that I’ve made, and I’ve made
attempts to communicate with Paul and another friend of mine, and have
I ever spoken to you?
ELIAS: No.
JULIE: No?
ELIAS: I shall express to you, Lanyah, that you may be speaking
with me in THIS manner. I shall not speak to you through your Ouija
board. Therefore, you may be assured that if you are connecting with
any essence or any focus of essence which may be in transition that offers
this identification of Elias, it is not. It is the expression of
another essence attempting to be gaining your attention in playfulness,
but it shall not be an interaction with myself, for I do not interact in
this manner.
JULIE: I see. Cathy will get a chuckle out of that one!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha!
JULIE: But as far as the other two essences that I connected with,
are those what they appear to be? (Pause)
ELIAS: Yes. (Pause) You are correct. (Pause)
JULIE: (Emotionally) Okay.
ELIAS: And now, you may take a breath. (Pause)
Let me express to you, Lanyah, be remembering of what we have spoken
this day. Allow yourself presently, for one moment, to be listening
to my voice.
JULIE: (Emotionally) Okay.
ELIAS: And in this, receive my energy in an offering of comforting
to you.
JULIE: (Emotionally) Thank you.
ELIAS: And also in a reinforcement to you of your unmeasurable
worth. I hold the awareness of the gloriousness that you hold!
JULIE: (Emotionally) Thank you.
ELIAS: In this, receive this blanket of energy, and you may hold
this to you this day and be remembering of it, for I shall continue in
your physical objective closeness with you this day to be offering your
encouragement.
JULIE: (Sighing) Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome. I hold great affection towards
you, Lanyah.
JULIE: (Emotionally) I hold great affection towards you!
ELIAS: (Chuckling) And we shall continue, shall we not?
JULIE: (Laughing) We shall!
ELIAS: We shall be creating of gloriousness this day, shall we
not?
JULIE: Yes!
ELIAS: HA HA! And I shall be banging the drum in encouragement
to you! And I may also be dabbling in offering my expressions in
suggestion within your creativity. Therefore, if you are noticing
of a certain draw in a particular area of your creativity in which you
may feel compelled to be expressing in blue, you shall be recognizing of
MY influence in creativity! I shall like to paint! (Julie laughs)
Ha ha ha ha ha! And we shall be creating together! (Chuckling)
JULIE: I’ll look forward to it!
ELIAS: I express to you this day much lovingness, great affection,
and I shall continue with you throughout your day. Feel my blanket
of energy with you throughout the duration of this day, for I shall not
leave.
JULIE: (Emotionally) Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: You are very welcome, and I shall be anticipating our interaction
objectively once again.
JULIE: (Emotionally) Thank you.
ELIAS: To you this day, au revoir.
JULIE: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 12:14 PM.
© 1999 Vicki Pendley/Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 1999 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.