A Very Large Hamster Wheel
Topics:
“A Very Large Hamster Wheel”
“To Be Or Not To Be?”
Monday, July 19, 1999 © 1999 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anony (Mous).
Vic’s note: The individual involved in this session
wasn’t going to share this transcript, but then decided that it might be
beneficial to other folks. Hence, the anonymity.
Elias arrives at 11:32 AM. (Arrival time is 22 seconds)
ELIAS: Good morning!
ANONY: Hi, Elias. I am not in a good place. I created
a situation for myself — I started creating it three years ago — and I
don’t know how I’m going to get through it emotionally.
ELIAS: And what shall be your direction in your inquiry this morning
in relation to this situation?
ANONY: Well, I have felt so sad lately. I get these periods
of feeling just really, really sad. It’s like, I’m fifty years old,
I’m not married, I’ve been divorced twice, I’ve had hundreds of ... well,
not hundreds, probably a hundred lovers, and it just seems like everything
is over. It feels like ... I don’t know. It just feels like
it’s over, and it feels like it’s not worth struggling any more.
ELIAS: Ah, and you view physical focus to be a tremendous burden
and struggle.
ANONY: At this point.
ELIAS: And therefore, your direction of concentration moves into
the area of discontinuing.
ANONY: Yes.
ELIAS: And what shall your questioning be in this area?
ANONY: That’s a good question!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha!
ANONY: I’m a total chicken when it comes to any kind of physical
pain, so I’m not going to do something to myself
physically. I don’t know. I’d just like to find a way to get
through the situation and not struggle.
Basically, three years ago I had a relationship that broke up, and I
went into this depression for about six months. I thought I was depressed
because of the relationship, but I realized that the depression was much
greater than the relationship, because as I was sitting on my couch crying
five days a week, other things came up, you know, like everything in my
life that hadn’t gone the way I wanted it to go all came up for review.
I was just so depressed.
It wasn’t the man; it was what the man stood for. He was handsome,
charming, everything. He was the Prince Charming that when I was
eighteen years old I knew I would marry, and so it was like the end of
a fantasy or something.
I had some money that wasn’t mine, quite a bit of money, and I wasn’t
working. I’d go into work like two days a week or something and stay
home the rest of the time, and I started spending that money for living
expenses because I wasn’t making any money because I wasn’t working.
And basically, what’s happened now is, it’s time to give the money back,
and I don’t have all of it. I mean, I am going to end up getting
involved with the criminal justice system, and it’s humiliating.
I’m going to lose my job, but I hate my job anyway, so I can see why I
created the situation. But having created it, the thought of having
to walk into court with a lawyer, having to plead guilty to a criminal
offense ... I’m just really, really depressed. I mean, my father
was a policeman for twenty years! What I’ve created puts me in an
area that I can barely comprehend being in.
ELIAS: And in this situation, you find yourself balancing upon
the fence, contemplating continuing within physical focus and not continuing
within physical focus, and not moving into directions of certain choices,
for certain choices involve fearfulness, but other choices of continuation
involve fearfulness also.
And you express the desire to be interactive with myself, that I may
be expressing to you to be continuing within physical focus and to be encouraging
of you in this area and to be offering you the solution to this situation,
in which you have created — quite efficiently! — your reality.
Let me express to you that other individuals also create these types
of situations within their focus, and — being influenced by mass belief
systems and their alignment to these mass belief systems and the overwhelming
belief system of duplicity, which at times may be quite gripping — look
to their focus and view it as within a state of hopelessness, and in this
hopelessness, they seek out another individual or another expression that
may offer them some sort of reinforcement and validation that shall offer
them a valid reason, so to speak, to be continuing, for this also is in
compliance with your mass belief systems.
Now; in this, recognize within yourself that I hold an awareness of
the discomfort and the distress that you are experiencing, and in this,
I may express to you that we may be engaging discussion in this area from
different types of angles, dependent upon which direction you are choosing
to be moving into. Let me express to you one direction initially.
Within this situation, you view that you are caught, and in this element
of being caught, you view the situation, you view the circumstances, you
view the consequences of certain actions, which are ALL expressions of
belief systems, for in actuality there is no cause and effect, but you
do create this throughout much of your expressions within physical focus,
for it is a very strong belief system.
Now; in this, in the expression of hopelessness and distress and anguish,
your attention moves into areas that are also influenced by physically
focused belief systems, in movement into the thought process of disengagement,
allowing yourself to move outside of troublesome areas, uncomfortableness,
and anguish, and moving into a drifting motion, into an abyss that holds
no emotion and is not involved with physical belief systems and situations,
and therefore appears within your thought process to be calmer and better.
Regardless of what you view to be as an action once you have disengaged,
you ALL view a time framework of stopping, resting, not engaging physically
focused problems, so to speak.
Now; I express to you that within this direction of thought process,
this is merely a choice. What you believe to be the action which
occurs subsequent to disengagement may materialize, but merely temporarily,
for it IS a projection of your belief systems. Therefore, you may
offer yourself a temporary respite in disengagement, but it shall be temporary,
for there is an entirely different action which occurs as you choose to
be disengaging physical focus.
In this, you shall be encountering different situations, but they shall
not necessarily be any less distressing or disturbing to you than what
you are experiencing presently, for you shall continue to hold, temporarily,
an aspect of objective awareness — you shall continue to hold your belief
systems temporarily — and although you do not “face your maker,” so to
speak, and although you are not held accountable for all that you have
created within your physical focuses and there is no judgment and there
is no karma, this is not to say that you shall not create imagery and very
real experiences in this direction regardless, for your belief systems
move in this type of direction, and until you have shed the belief systems
associated with any physical focuses, the manifestation of the imagery,
which is quite real, continues to be created, for you shall create it!
As to the choices themselves, of continuing within physical focus or
discontinuing physical focus, it matters not. These are merely choices.
You may discontinue and disengage if you are so choosing, and this is not
a right/wrong good/bad choice. It merely is a choice of probabilities.
You may continue in physical focus, and this also is merely a choice.
The point is that you are you, and your belief systems are your belief
systems, and your creations as influenced by your belief systems are what
they are, and they are the same regardless of your continuation within
physical focus or your disengagement into nonphysical areas of transition.
It matters not. You are creating what you are creating within this
present now, and that creation may alter slightly as you alter your situation
or location, but what you are creating within you shall remain regardless
of what you are creating outside of yourself.
Disengagement, as I have spoken of with other individuals, holds no
difference from movement into another country. Within your situation
that you have created in your focus, this analogy shall apply quite well,
for you have created a situation in which your physical circumstances may
be relative to the location in which you place yourself physically.
Were you to be engaging movement to a different country, your situation
would alter.
ANONY: That’s right!
ELIAS: But YOU would not alter.
ANONY: I can’t run away from me.
ELIAS: Quite.
In this, you would accompany yourself to another country. You
may change your physical situation and the circumstances in which you involve
yourself, but yourself shall accompany you in whichever direction you choose
to move. In like manner, if you are choosing disengagement, you are
merely choosing to be moving to a different country, and you shall be with
you within that different country also. Therefore, the experience
that you are creating presently shall not automatically and magically disappear.
Therefore, we view the choice of non-disengagement, and in this, we
may look to that situation and view the choices which are available to
you, and also view the situation that you are creating.
Now; let me express to you, previously within the forum of these sessions,
I have engaged interaction with groups of individuals that I have designated
as what we term to be “secret sessions.”
Vic’s note: I would like to dispel any possible misunderstanding
here, as there has been some in the past. The “secrets sessions”
that Elias initiated were not kept secret from other folks. They
were sessions in which we were encouraged to discuss our deepest, darkest
secrets, which was helpful, albeit difficult!
ELIAS: I have engaged this activity with individuals quite purposefully,
for this allows individuals to be viewing objectively many areas of their
creations that they view very intensely through the lens of duplicity,
which is extremely coloring.
In this particular session and discussion that you and I engage presently,
you may view this to be quite similar as a secret session, for you move
into the area of allowing yourself a trustfulness, to a point, to be offering
information that you view to be very bad, which invokes tremendous guilt,
shame, disappointment, and judgment within yourself.
Now; in addressing to these core issues, we may more efficiently move
into areas of altering the creations that you have already set into motion.
But be remembering, no probability is absolute. No choice, no action,
is set in stone. Therefore, although within objective terms it may
APPEAR that choices and probabilities are absolute, they are not, and you
may be altering of ANY choices and ANY probabilities within ANY moment.
Now your question to myself is, “Ah, I am understanding of this, but
HOW shall I alter my creation?”
ANONY: Exactly!
ELIAS: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! In this, how you are altering
of your creation is to be altering of your perception!
ANONY: I knew you were going to say that!
ELIAS: This may seem elusive to you, and it may seem within your
rational thought process to be quite inefficient, but I express to you
that within terms of actual reality, the most efficient and the most affecting
direction of movement IS to be altering of your perception, for your perception
IN ACTUALITY creates your reality! Therefore, what you perceive is
what you shall create, and it shall be quite real!
You have already demonstrated to yourself your own power of creation.
You have already demonstrated to yourself that through your perception,
which is influenced by your beliefs, you have quite efficiently created
an actual reality. Within the situation, let us examine.
Through your perception, which creates your reality, influenced by your
beliefs, you engage a relationship that you view to be hurtful, and therefore
you create a direction of probabilities that allows you to move into certain
types of expressions of non-movement, immobilizing yourself.
Now; as I am speaking to you, I hold the awareness of your energy, that
you are ALREADY moving into areas of judgments. STOP. Merely
listen to what I am expressing to you.
I express no judgments of any of your actions or choices. They
are merely choices, and within my expression, they are not attached to
belief systems. It matters not, in my expression, what you have chosen
or what your motivation is. You have merely created certain directions
and the implementation of certain probabilities which have actualized and
created a reality, and this is what I address to you, not to be influencing
you in the area of continuing to be creating judgments upon yourself.
Therefore, I express to you once again, merely listen without moving yourself
into the area of judgments.
In this, as you created a situation of immobilization in being consumed,
so to speak, in emotional expressions, you also created choices to be involving
yourself in actions, which within that time framework, you offered yourself
justification in expressing to yourself that although you recognized that
you should not be engaging this type of activity and creating the consumption,
in a manner of speaking, of another individual’s funds, you also within
your thought process created a justification for this action, for as influenced
by your belief system, you needed, so to speak, a justification.
You also created another type of justification, expressing to yourself,
“It matters not, for I shall replace what I take.”
ANONY: That’s what I thought, but I didn’t do it.
ELIAS: And this is a genuine thought process also. In this,
the intention is to be moving into that particular type of direction and
expression, but the action continues to the point that you view that you
hold an inability to be creating that very action. Now, in very physical
terminology, you have created “digging yourself into your very large hole,”
and you have forgotten your ladder to be climbing out of your hole, and
express the helplessness of the ability to be moving outside.
Now; in this, as you begin to examine how you have created this situation
and the perception which is held in creating these types of probabilities
and actualities in your focus, you may also turn your attention.
If you do not view what you are creating and how you are creating your
reality, how may you turn your attention into a different direction?
What shall you turn it to?
This be the reason that we examine the actions that you have already
created and examine the situation in which you are creating now, for if
you are not altering your perception, you shall continue to be creating
in the same line of probabilities, which is quite influenced by the belief
systems of cause and effect, and that if you are creating of a certain
type of action which moves within mass belief systems as wrong, you also
incur certain consequences and must be expressing restitution. These
are cause and effect issues.
Now; you may also turn your attention within the now, recognizing that
the influence of those belief systems has created quite an efficient expression
of reality within your focus, but this does not diminish the reality that
you may be creating in other directions.
In looking to this present situation, you project much energy into future
probabilities, future possibilities, in anticipation — the anticipation
of humiliation, the anticipation of anguish, of restitution, of how other
individuals shall view you, how you shall view yourself — and how may you
continue within the shadow of this enormous cloud? And all the while
you are expressing to yourself, “Bad, bad, bad. Very, very bad.
I am bad. The situation is bad. The consequences are bad.
I am creating bad. All is lost, for I am hopelessly efficient at
creating garbage!” (Chuckling)
Now; I express to you that you have efficiently allowed this belief
system of duplicity to be quite gripping, but all hope is not lost!
In this, recognize that the concept of “there are no absolutes” is not
in actuality merely a concept. It IS reality.
In this, also look to your concentration. You are projecting pastly,
you are projecting futurely, and in these projections outside of the now,
you are quite intensely chastising yourself, creating judgments upon yourself,
and what you have created is a very large hamster wheel in which you continue
to run and run and run and run, and you are running yourself so very intensely
that you have run to exhaustion.
ANONY: That’s right!
ELIAS: Therefore, you may choose to discontinue running.
In this, you may allow yourself to step away from your hamster wheel,
recognizing that it merely perpetuates all that you wish not to be perpetuating,
and we begin in the area of the expression that YOU ARE WORTHY. You
— intrinsically you — as the individual that you are is not bad, has not
created badly. You are not unworthy. You are not expressing
your reality in bad or evil or wrong manners, regardless of your laws,
regardless of the expression of mass belief systems.
Now; I am not expressing to you an excuse to be moving into areas of
hurtfulness to other individuals, but this is not the direction that you
have expressed. You have not created a situation of hurtfulness to
other individuals.
ANONY: I bet the guy whose money I spent thinks I did!
ELIAS: Ah! Now, this may be this individual’s perception,
but in actuality, how have you been hurtful to this individual? Now,
within his perception, which is his reality, he may be expressing this
very direction, and that may be reality with himself, but this is not your
concern, for this is not your responsibility.
ANONY: I actually gave him something. I allowed him a situation
in which he can express all of his anger and hate. (Elias chuckles)
I mean, he didn’t have to report me to the police department. It
would have been much easier to pay him back sooner if he hadn’t done that.
He decided that he wanted revenge more than he wanted his money back.
ELIAS: And this be his choice.
ANONY: That WAS his choice.
ELIAS: But this is not your responsibility. It also is not
your concern. Your concern is your creation and your participation
in the creation conjointly with him. Your attention needs be focused
in the area of YOUR creations, for he may create any action that he chooses
to be creating, and this does not necessarily express that within physical
terms, the movement shall appear in the manner that you objectively expect,
but you shall create in the manner that you hold expectations. If
you expect to be humiliated, you shall be. If you expect to be “degradated,”
you shall be. If you expect to be hurt, you shall be, for YOU shall
create this!
Another individual does not create your reality! They may create
any expression that they are so choosing, but they are not creating your
reality! Therefore, they may only be affecting of you to the extent
that you are allowing their expression to BE affecting, and if your attention
is not focused so intensely upon THEIR creation, they shall not hold the
intensity of power in affecting of your reality.
In this, as you begin to move into expressions of acceptance and trust
of self, recognizing genuinely that you are not a bad individual, that
you are a worthy individual and that you are a joyful individual, the entirety
of your reality alters, in like manner to a picture. You may color
your picture in all hues of browns and grays and it shall hold a tone about
it, or you may color a picture in many different hues of reds and yellows
and blues, and it shall hold a very different tone.
How you view yourself — and what you expect and what you concentrate
upon — is very influencing of how you create your reality. If you
are continuing to be viewing yourself and perceiving yourself as bad, you
shall also draw to yourself these types of continuing situations.
Now; let me also express to you that beyond this — which we are not
quite beyond this yet, but you shall be moving in this direction as viewed
by the probabilities that you are creating now and the direction that you
are turning into now — there are situations and expressions that may occur
within physical focus in dynamics between individuals, that other individuals
may be creating expressions that you view to be quite distasteful and offensive,
so to speak.
But in this, we return to self, and in this, as you are examining your
expressions of acceptance and trust of self, you may also examine to yourself
how other individuals’ expressions are affecting of you, for if you are
truly moving into expressions of acceptance and trust of your creations,
and that you ARE a worthy individual and that you are not bad and that
you are not good either, you are merely an individual — you are you and
this is entirely acceptable and it matters not — once you have genuinely
moved into the expression within yourself that it matters not, it SHALL
matter not, the expression of other individuals.
In this, you may not always, so to speak, diffuse a situation that another
individual is creating, but this is not the point. The point is not
to be moving yourself into the thought process or the delusion that you
may be conversely creating another individual’s reality and changing their
expression! No! This is not the point. The point is to
be focusing upon your creations and upon self, and it shall matter not
— in that expression genuinely — whether the other individual’s expression
is altered or not, for you then empower yourself in the recognition of
your own abilities.
Another individual may express and express and express in certain directions,
and shall be quite confounded within themselves as to why they are not
creating what they wish to be creating within their physical focus, and
the reason that they may not be creating what they wish to be creating
is that they may not be altering of YOUR reality! Regardless that
they view it may be beneficial to themself, they do not create your reality!
Therefore, if you are not compliant or in agreement with their choice of
your reality, you are not compelled to be creating it!
Another individual may wish quite intensely for you to be occupying
the physical location of jail, and this matters not, for this is YOUR choice!
ANONY: I know, and that’s not gonna happen!
ELIAS: What you concern yourself with is the opinion and the assessment
of other individuals upon you, for within you, you continue to view that
other individuals’ assessments of you dictates your worth.
ANONY: I think that’s a problem I’ve always had, and this is the
big lesson here!
ELIAS: Quite!
In this, you create a very intense situation that shall present this
to you. What you have efficiently created is backing yourself into
your corner, in which you view no other alternative but to be examining
this belief and this issue, and now moving yourself into position of dismantling
this shrine, and this shrine within your focus is quite large and you have
decorated it quite efficiently!
ANONY: I know when I walk out the other side of this one, I will
not care what anybody thinks about me, other than what I think of me.
ELIAS: And you shall experience tremendous freedom and a tremendous
elimination of weight, for in actuality, it matters not!
Your worth is not dictated by the expression or opinion or perception
of any other individual. Your worth is not dictated by your actions
or your experiences. Therefore, your worth is not dictated by what
you create. Your worth is YOU, and this is not reflected by what
you create or your experiences or the opinions or the perceptions of any
other individual. It is not even dictated by your own perception!
ANONY: I was just thinking that same thing! (Elias chuckles)
ELIAS: Your perception is filtered. It is influenced by
your belief systems, and your worth is NOT influenced by your belief systems.
It is entirely different.
ANONY: I feel like I just lost about a hundred pounds that was
sitting on top of my head!
ELIAS: I express to you that you are a wondrous individual!
You hold great abilities, as I spoke to you at our last meeting and
have been in that session quite encouraging to you, expressing to you that
you hold great abilities of creativity. You also hold great abilities
in interactiveness with other individuals to be helpful. You have
much to be expressive of, and also in conjunction with this shift in consciousness,
but more so presently with yourself individually, which shall automatically
be influencing throughout consciousness.
In this, I express to you great knowing of your individual worthiness.
This individual focus of Mous, this focus of Anony, individually you, holds
unique and wondrous qualities within this physical dimension and are quite
worthy. You hold great worth, for each individual, each focus of
essence, each essence, each element of consciousness holds precious worth,
and you are no less than any other expression within consciousness, and
I am quite acknowledging of that. Do not forget that even your own
experiences and perception do not diminish the greatness of your worth.
In this, remind yourself of what a glorious, wondrous individual you
are! And also remind yourself that regardless of which direction
you choose or which country you choose to be lending your feet, so to speak,
you shall accompany yourself there, and you shall bring with you all of
the situations and issues that you create presently.
Therefore, once again, it matters not. Recognize that these are
merely expressions of belief systems — not that they do not hold reality,
for they do, quite solidly within your physical dimension!
But this matters not either, for YOU in your wondrousness hold the CONTINUOUS
ability to be altering of ANY of these elements of reality! What
a glorious creation you have exhibited within this physical dimension —
the ability to be changing and altering ANY ELEMENT of your reality that
you are so choosing!
ANONY: Thank you. I do feel a lot better.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
ANONY: I had to create something to get me out of my job ‘cause
I hate it so much. You know, in my job, people actually expect me
to change their reality for them!
ELIAS: Quite!
ANONY: They pay me to change their reality, and it’s so frustrating
because I can’t! I can’t do it. I’ve seen that!
ELIAS: (Chuckling) And you may be expressing this conversation
with Michael, for he also objectively views this situation many times!
Ha ha ha ha!
And I express to you that you are correct. You may not be altering
of another individual’s reality, and another individual may not be altering
of your reality. No other essence may be creating of your reality!
You individually, uniquely hold this ability, and this also is one of the
wondrous attributes and qualities that you hold — your individual uniqueness
and free will.
ANONY: I just got done reading the latest transcript on orientation.
I would guess, and this is a guess ... well, it’s an educated guess, I
think. I would guess that my orientation is common.
ELIAS: You are correct. (Chuckling)
ANONY: That logical, rational, male-type thinking that I have!
ELIAS: And this at times is an expression that it manifests itself
within, within your identifications in physical reality. I express
to you that this also affords you the ability to be moving into your creations
with less of a confusion, in interruptions of emotional terms, than you
may be experiencing holding a different orientation. Therefore, be
encouraged! (Chuckling)
ANONY: Yes. I do have the ability to focus on a project
or something that I’m doing, and my emotions just sort of drift away when
I do that.
ELIAS: But do not be discounting of that aspect of your physical
reality, for within this time framework of your physical reality, there
is much influence in the area of your sciences of psychology, and in that,
I express to you that you may be allowing yourself to be led into certain
discounts of elements of your reality as influenced by psychological belief
systems.
I express to you that emotional
aspects of your focus are quite real, and you may be acknowledging of the
influence and the strength of this aspect of your reality, for it IS one
of the base elements of this reality within this particular dimension.
Therefore, do not discount your expression in this area.
There are many belief systems that you hold within physical focus that
move in the direction of discounting the reality of emotional creations,
and I express to you that this merely creates blocks within yourselves
and creates more confusion and conflict than is necessary. Therefore,
merely be examining what is motivating your expression in emotional areas.
Recognize that emotional expressions as motivated by the energy of guilt
is essentially a waste of energy. It offers you no movement in efficiency
or productivity, so to speak. Therefore, its ONLY purposefulness
is to be reinforcing duplicity.
Therefore, each time you are experiencing emotional expressions in conjunction
with this element of guilt, you may be addressing directly to that motivational
factor and therefore discontinuing the expression emotionally, which merely
allows you to be climbing upon your hamster wheel once again, perpetuating
the circle.
You shall be emotional, and this shall reinforce the guilt, and the
guilt shall reinforce the duplicity, and the duplicity shall reinforce
the emotional expression, and on and on and on.
ANONY: Around and around I go!
ELIAS: And this continues to hold you in the same position, and
you immobilize yourself.
ANONY: I feel a lot better after talking to you. I feel
a sense of lightness and more hope, and I feel much more confident in myself.
ELIAS: Very good! I shall continue to be acknowledging of
you and offering energy to you. As you aware, I have offered an expression
already!
ANONY: Yes, you did! Last night, before I went to sleep,
I saw a bunch of blue lights!
ELIAS: Which was to be encouraging to you in reinforcement; an
acknowledgment of my recognition of what you are experiencing.
ANONY: Thank you so much.
ELIAS: And I shall continue to be reinforcing of you in the reminder
that you are worthy.
ANONY: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are welcome. To you this day, I offer great affection,
and you may be anticipating our continued interaction.
ANONY: Thanks.
ELIAS: I bid you a very loving au revoir.
ANONY: Good-bye.
Elias departs at 12:37 PM.
© 1999 Vicki Pendley/Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 1999 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.