Tuesday, June 8, 1999-2 © 2000 (Private/phone)
Participants:  Mary (Michael) and Lynda (Ruther).
Elias arrives at 12:37 PM. (Arrival time is 14 seconds)
 
ELIAS:  Good morning!

LYNDA:  Hi, my friend.  It’s nice to hear your voice. (Elias chuckles)  I’m back!

I just want to make this objective connection with you to get some confirmation on some subjective stuff, and I’m going to make this a private session because I don’t want to ... I just want to be able to talk freely and have a conversation with you so I can not feel like it’s going to be ... at some point I may have it transcribed and put in the system, but I just need to get through this personal wave that I’m going through so I feel comfortable.

I think the best way for me to start is to just read you a little something I wrote myself, and then I really want to hear from you.  Would that be okay?

ELIAS:  Very well.  You may proceed.

LYNDA:  Thank you, sir.

I wrote to myself that I want to pleasure me first, and I want to expand so I can handle these power surges and not stifle them with the fear of unworthiness.  I got quite a power surge experience related to being the energy point of a pyramid, and I didn’t feel that the pyramid was part of your forum pyramid, although it could be, but I didn’t have any feeling about the other pyramid points except possibly that they were my own essence and fragmentation, but I wasn’t very clear.  I just know that it was a pleasant experience, but it was extremely intense, and I realized that I was widening to take in more of my own energy essence and ... anyway, I was going to ask you about that pyramid experience, but I’ll just read you this really quickly, Elias.  So I said back to myself:

“NOW, trust yourself and notice this fear and allow it to pass.  Notice blue, draw blue, blue is everywhere, in and out of you now.  Prepare NOW to receive a waterfall of joy and fearlessness.  Open yourself NOW and allow yourself to draw and receive and not worry about the details.”

Anyway, then I had this incredibly lucid dream that wasn’t a dream experience last night, and I woke up with a bump on my head, and I thought, I must have bumped my head in another reality and don’t know it!  But it felt like I had tried to have an out-of-body experience, and I felt like I was falling, and there was a sound like a train on a track really fast, which is a somewhat familiar feeling to me, but I was afraid of it, and so I wanted to have it again so I could have it and go through it, and I felt like I called out to you and said, “Elias, help me get through this so I can get into this experience.”  And then I had this whole experience with you and the dream ... and I’m done talking.  I just want to hear your voice.  Go ahead.

ELIAS:  (Chuckling) I shall express to you that what you have created in this experience is an offering to yourself in validation.

In this, you have received your bump upon your head in an action of snapping yourself back in your projection.  In this, as you allowed yourself to be returning yourself in your consciousness to your body consciousness, you have created a movement of snapping intensely, and this has created what you would term to be a type of swelling upon a particular area of your physical head.

This is the explanation for your awakening objectively and recognizing that you have acquired this bump. (Chuckling)

LYNDA:  Hey, that’s pretty good!

ELIAS:  In this, I express to you an acknowledgment that you have allowed yourself the ability to be projecting within consciousness, and to be interactive with myself also.  You have offered yourself this experience to be not merely acknowledging to yourself your own ability, but also to be, in a manner of speaking, infusing yourself objectively with an element of trustfulness in the vein of offering yourself a sense of a type of safety.

Now; in this, you have not attached entirely to this sense in the manner of associating it within your feelings entirely, but you have allowed yourself a beginning in this area, in which you may allow yourself a certain movement away from elements of fearfulness and allowing yourself to move more freely into unfamiliar areas which allow you more freedom.

In this, you face yourself, so to speak, presently with choices of uncertainty, unfamiliarity, but you also are allowing yourself a new element within yourself of not holding so very tightly to elements of fear, are you not?

LYNDA:  Yes sir, I am.  I mean, yes darling, I am.

ELIAS:  Therefore, you are offering yourself the beginnings of the movement into this freedom that you shall be offering yourself more fully subsequently.  This allows you to view that you may be moving into unfamiliar expressions and unfamiliar territory within your focus, and you shall not move into betrayal of yourself and you shall not be hurtful to yourself in these movements.

Many individuals express within metaphysical terminology that the universe shall be providing for them and shall be holding them within safety and comfort.  In this, I express to you that the idea is essentially correct, but I express to you that it is not the universe, so to speak, which shall hold you and not betray you, but it is yourself, for you ARE the Universe.

In this, you may be trusting of yourself, and each movement that you create into more of the expression of trust of self offers you the validation that you may be accomplishing, and it reinforces your movement into more of an allowance of MORE trust within yourself.

In a manner of speaking, it may be considered your snowball effect.  In like manner to what you term to be negative expressions, you may be creating of these and you may be snowballing yourself with these types of expressions and experiences.  But in like manner, you may be moving into expressions of trust, and as you are accomplishing in each experience, you are also reinforcing yourself, and in this, you are creating a snowballing effect of creating more of a trustfulness of self, and this is the point.

LYNDA:  Right. (Sighing)  You know, it’s been humiliating.  It’s always humiliating ... part of the negative thing.  It’s humiliating to go to friends and ask for money and have them turn you down and call you a flake, and if you hadn’t been Oscar Wilde, I would say you don’t understand.  I’m just speaking as a physically focused person, so I know you are understanding my energy, but I don’t even want to write a book to justify what I want to do in my life.  I don’t need justification to live and to want to spend the next however many years being physically focused and taking this essence of me in a direction as far as it can go and have fun, and you know I’ve touched my own essence enough to know that it’s in my heart.

Essence is not hurtful, and we are all so disconnected from our own essence and have made objective religions out of it for so many years that we can’t connect the dots, and you know, my heart is large and I see that, but I’ve absolutely given myself no choice but to take care of Lynda first.  I understand why people formed religions originally, you know.  I understand the whole thing, but the imagery I’ve gotten ... you know, my heroes in the bible are Ruth and Esther, and when I was under John, he used to say, “Be careful, darling.  The sheep have teeth.”  And even Elias’ sheep have teeth.

I know they don’t mean it and I recognize the fear and the lack of self-acceptance, but the only way I can counter it, Elias, is to be my own girl.  Be a straight little sapling ... and pack!  I keeping packing, and I don’t know where the money is going to come from, and I’ve never allowed myself to get this far in my fear, like you say, and I’m so proud of me, I really am!  I’ve got this marvelous little kitty out of nowhere that I created, and I love having this creature around.  Anyway, I’m just telling you I love you, and I don’t need to talk that much longer, and I appreciate your input.

ELIAS:  Let me express to you, you are correct within your thought process.  Now move your thought process into what you may describe as your inner being, your knowing, your acceptance of yourself.

You do not hold a necessity to be justifying any action, any choice, any probability, any event, any element of yourself to any individual nor to yourself, for you are worthy within yourself, and in quite physical terms, as you express this, you are quite deserving of all that you seek, in a manner of speaking.

I express to you, you have allowed yourself the information and you have assimilated the information intellectually, and within your thought process and your objective understanding, in the intellect, you have allowed yourself the knowing that all that you create within your focus is your choice and is an experience and is acceptable and matters not and needs no justification in any direction.

Now I express to you to move this knowing that you hold within your intellect and to balance that knowing with the knowing inwardly, the genuine knowing within an acceptance of self, that it shall be, in a manner of speaking, complete in your reality; not merely in the aspect of your thought and your intellect, but within you and radiating throughout your being, that you are no longer questioning the worthiness of yourself.  For in this knowing of your worthiness, it shall genuinely be expressed in the manner of “it matters not” in relation to other individuals’ expressions; not that you shall move yourself into an area of a lack of caring, but that you shall no longer allow yourself an affectingness in areas that you perceive to be hurtful, for YOU shall no longer be hurtful to you, for you shall be accepting of you, and in this acceptance of yourself, you shall also allow yourself great freedom, and you shall be allowing yourself the letting go of much of this conflict and anxiety.

I am aware that this be your greatest challenge within this particular focus, for you have created within this focus much alignment with religious belief systems which have also reinforced great elements of fear, and these elements of fear have become creatures of their own within you.

In this, you now move into the position of dismantling that energy and allowing your own expression of acceptance and freedom to be replacing this energy of fearfulness.

Also allow yourself the recognition that the intensity of energy that you have held previously in the area of fear may be manipulated within a different direction, and you may allow yourself that same intensity in expression of freedom and of joyfulness, and I shall be quite encouraging of you in this direction.

LYNDA:  Thank you Elias.  I love you.

ELIAS:  I express to you that within your movement presently, there is an understanding held of your anxiety and hesitation.  But be realizing also that you are creating the outward physical imagery in like manner to affirmations, and in this, regardless that you hold this fear, you choose to be moving anyway, and as you choose to be creating this type of movement, you also are creating a tremendous movement within yourself in the direction of trust.  This may hold fearful elements, but you shall also be receiving your payoff in like intensity.

LYNDA:  (Crying)  You know something?  The San Francisco thing ... I know the San Francisco thing is equally a projection of my own, a symbol of the ultimate thing to me of what I would do if I could do anything and I didn’t have to work.  It’s more than that, more than that.  But anyway, I keep getting that and I keep holding onto it ... or not holding it.  You know what I mean.  But anyway, I don’t dare hope against hope, which is so much ... you know, if I were essence and I was going to come back and not remember, I would remember in little increments, and ... I would do just this!  I would do exactly what I’m doing!  If you’re going to have a drama and have it in its purest form, I would do it this way, Elias! (Laughing)

ELIAS:  And you are!

LYNDA:  And I are!  (Cracking up, and Elias chuckles)  It’s so odd, Elias, and it’s terribly exciting!  The minutiae, the detail of what I’m going through is wonderful, and sometimes the way the sun hits the palm trees, I catch myself ... I almost caught myself creating the palm trees one day!  It was like a trick of my vision.  There’s a thousand little things in the moment that ... I don’t know.  Would I have missed them if I weren’t ... it’s not justification, but I’m not ignorant of the dearness of these moments because of this intense experience I’m having.   Do you know what I mean?

ELIAS:  Quite, and this allows you the opportunity within the now to be experiencing the fullness of your being.

I express to you that an element that individuals do not always allow themselves to view within the fullness of their experiences is that within your experiences — very much so within the experiences that you term to be negative — you allow yourselves an intensity of experiencing your reality.  You experience a heightened awareness of your physical senses, of your emotional creations, of your thought processes ... all of your reality intensifies within these types of experiences.

Now; in these experiences, individuals many times are creating the situation of allowing themselves to be stuck upon their hamster wheel, continuing to be rotating, running running running within the confines of their attention, merely viewing what they interpret as negative, and not allowing themselves to be noticing the intensity of their heightened awareness objectively.

They focus themselves in one direction, and this shall be to focus their attention upon their emotional expression within that particular time framework and to be continuing to run upon their hamster wheel within that emotional expression.

Now; what I express to you is that within these types of expressions, you may — if allowing yourselves to be moving into acceptance — view more of your reality, which shall be altering of your perception.

Now; let me allow clarity in this subject matter, for I do not express to you or to any other individual that is occupying physical focus in like manner to other essences, which may express to you: “Embrace your fear and embrace your sorrow and your negativity, for this is an element of yourself that you need be not denying, and be viewing within love and compassion.” (Lynda cracks up)  You shall not observe myself expressing this to you!

I hold an awareness that within your belief systems, negativity is negativity and it holds reality, and this is an element that you experience discomfort and dislike within, and in these types of experiences, you in your reality ARE experiencing conflict and uncomfortableness within these emotional turmoils.

Your expression naturally is to be moving away from this type of experience, for your natural inclination within essence is to move in the direction of less thickness in energy and to be creating fun and pleasure.

Therefore, you automatically attach a negative identification to these types of experiences and you attempt to be moving away, but you have forgotten within your separation all of your choices, and in this, you view in what you term to be absolute terms, either/or.

In this, what you in actuality create is your running upon your hamster wheel and the perpetuation of this uncomfortableness within you, for you have forgotten the viewing of self, the trust of self, and all of the choices that are available to you.

In widening your awareness, you are not moving into a method of embracing and loving experiences that you create that may be uncomfortable, but you are moving into a position within your awareness that you may see, that you may view within those creations more of your choices, and that you may notice and become aware of more of your reality, which alters your perception, and that which you viewed to be so very desperately uncomfortable may not be so desperately very uncomfortable any longer.

For you begin to view all of the myriads of elements of your reality that you were not allowing yourself to view within your perception previously, all of the wondrousness of your reality, even the element of the intensification of your emotional expressions and creations and the heightening of your thought processes and your senses, for all is intensified within these experiences.

But you are not appreciating of all that you are creating within these experiences, for you are merely concentrating upon one element, and that be the emotional expression, which holds tremendous intensity, and as you do not understand your immense ability to be creating these emotional expressions, you view them to overpowering, overwhelming, and AN ELEMENT THAT YOU MAY NOT CONTROL.

LYNDA:  Right. (Laughing)  You got that right!

ELIAS:  Therefore, you become frustrated, and your immediate automatic response is to be pushing these experiences away: “Cease and desist!  I wish not to be creating this experience any longer.”

I express to you that you wish not to be creating this experience for the reason that you are focusing merely on one element of the experience, viewing it to be negative, and not allowing yourself your own remembrance of self.

Therefore, you are viewing that you are creating “out of control,” and once again, I express to you that this is an aspect of beliefs.

There is no element of your focus that you control regardless, for control is an illusion.  It is a belief.  There is no element that need be controlled.  This is merely another term for limitation and constriction; containment.  And why shall you be forcing containment upon yourself as you may be allowing yourself the lack of containment and the freedom of expression?

Replace your word of control with containment, and you may not be moving into the expression of alignment with its action so readily, for your belief attached to the word of containment stirs within you negativity, and you shall automatically move into the direction of pleasure, and therefore you shall not align as readily with the idea of containment.  But in many situations, you attach to the word “control” what you view as positive, beneficial.  Therefore, you may move into this expression much more freely, but they are the same.

LYNDA:  God, I know.

ELIAS:  In this, I express to you, free-falling may be quite pleasurable!

LYNDA:  I’ve never let myself get this close, Elias.  It’s so damn exciting!

ELIAS:  Attaching your cord to your free-fall and creating your control of your fall may also be creating of an intense jerk at the end of your cord, whereas without the cord of the control, your free-fall is free to flow where it flows, and there is no bottom to be hit.  Therefore, what shall you be fearful of?

LYNDA:  Gosh.  You’re so deep. (Elias chuckles)  You know something, Elias?  All I know at this point is what I will not do anymore, and I’ve never allowed myself to actually know what I won’t do.

ELIAS:  And this is a beginning, and once you have begun in one direction, you may also encompass other directions.  Therefore, you may view what you shall discontinue, and you may allow yourself to view what you shall create anew.

LYNDA:  Okay.  Thank you.  I love you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.  I express great affection to you and much encouragement, and shall continue to be offering energy to you in that encouragement, that you may realize that you are not alone.

LYNDA:  (Crying)  Thank you.

ELIAS:  For I hold the awareness that within your feelings and your emotional expression, you believe yourself to be separated and alone, but you are not, and I shall continue within a lending of energy that you may be remembering of this, that you are not separated and you are not alone.

LYNDA:  Thank you.

ELIAS:  You are very welcome.

I offer great affection and much lovingness to you this day, and I anticipate our next meeting.  To you, without fear ...

LYNDA:  Okay.  Me too.

ELIAS:  ... I express quite fondly, go forth and continue.

LYNDA:  Thank you.  I will.

ELIAS:  And I shall continue with you.

LYNDA:  Thank you.

ELIAS:  To you this day, I bid a very fond adieu.

LYNDA:  Thank you.  Au revoir.

Elias departs at 1:19 PM.

FOOTNOTES:

(1) Lynda’s note: I pretty much lost it laughing here because Elias put on a kind of ponderous voice as he said “embrace your fear and embrace your sorrow,” which was helpful to me in that it distracted me from the intensity of what I was experiencing at that moment, and to say the least, lightened me up quite a bit.

© 2000  Vicki Pendley/Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

---

Copyright 1999 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.