The Belief System of Parenting
“The Belief System of Parenting”
“Your Natural Expression of Self”
“No Cosmic Actions/No Cosmic Rules”
“Merging Information and Experience”
Monday, June 7, 1999 © 1999 (Private)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Jene (Rudim), Vikki (Celeste), and one new participant, Trish.
Vic’s note: Jene’s essence name is Rudim, but Elias usually calls her Rudy. I don’t think Elias uses a “nickname” with anybody else.
Elias arrives at 3:27 PM. (Arrival time is 26 seconds)
ELIAS: Good afternoon! (Smiling)
JENE: Good afternoon!
ELIAS: And we meet again, Rudy!
JENE: And we do! So good to see you! (Elias chuckles)
ELIAS: And you have inquiries this day?
JENE: I do, tons and tons, but I would also like to send good wishes and greetings from everyone in Castaic. (Laughing)
ELIAS: Received, Rudy.
JENE: And a grand hello to Seth as well!
Actually, I would just like to have some input from you. You know basically what’s going on in my energy field and my belief systems. Yarr had asked you a question for me about George and the transition, and told you that at that time I had experienced a phenomenal change in the fear, which was a very strong truth, and I appreciate the information that came. Thank you. (Elias nods)
And then it returned, and what I express to be a meltdown in my nervous system took place last week, and then I was curious as to whether that was actually a fear meltdown or a breakthrough, because right after that I talked to my friend Vikki — who you have met before — on the phone to just get some kind of stability, and then I was curious as to whether it was actually a subjective movement rather than an objective breakdown.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, Rudy, as I have acknowledged that you have been creating movement.
In this, many times individuals within physical focus may be creating of an intensity in movement subjectively, and this may display itself outwardly in objective terms, in seeming as an element of trauma or great distress. This is translated in this manner as your objective awareness — in a manner of speaking — throws itself into an element of confusion, attempting to be assimilating in objective terms the movement which is occurring subjectively.
Some individuals experience a time framework of great confusion. Some individuals translate this into a time period of an intensity in lack of motivation. Some individuals may experience an emotional response in feeling quite sad for a time framework and not objectively understanding why, which creates confusion. Other individuals may be creating great conflict for a time framework.
Now; what I am expressing to you is that you are not re-creating a situation of re-experiencing elements of fear. I have expressed to you previously many times that within you, you held — and we are speaking within your linear terms past tense — a great deal of fearful elements. In this, there was a constriction in an energy flow to self — not necessarily outwardly expressed as greatly as inwardly expressed — in blocking your own expression of acceptance and nurturing to self, for the element of fear had become an overpowering entity in itself in the expression of energy, which within physical focus, you hold the ability to be creating these types of expressions.
You may be in actuality — as I have stated previously — projecting fearful energy outwardly, and you may in actuality create an entity that you may physically view. You are not creating of this type of extreme, but within the concentration of energy, the fear was projected within you to almost be creating of an entity within you to be blocking your individual expression to you, in which this concentration of energy would be repelling of each expression that you attempted to be offering to yourself.
What you have created in this experience recently is in your terms what you are expressing as a “breaking through.” This is creating your window, your portal through this concentration of energy that has been recognized as the fear, and allowing yourself to be expressing to this energy, “Stop.”
In another manner of speaking, what you may express to yourself is that you have created your point of “enough,” and in this expression you let go, and in this letting go, think to yourself of physical expressions of energy. If you are holding very tightly physically to any object for an extended time framework, as you release the object, you shall experience fatigue within the actual muscles that have been constricted for this extended time framework.
In this, you create a similar action within emotional energy; emotional “muscles” which are quite fatigued in expressing very intensely for an extended time framework. In this, as you allow yourself to let go, you are as the balloon losing its air, but the balloon remains intact and may be re-inflated with not merely the air of your breath but a lighter air, that it may float. Therefore, I am acknowledging of you in this movement and expressing to you not to be discounting of yourself and your movement and [not to be] allowing yourself to be slipping into duplicity, in which you SHALL move into automatic expressions of discounting self and doubting your own accomplishments. I express to you encouragement in this area, for you ARE accomplishing.
JENE: Good. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
JENE: (Sighing) Nice to hear!
ELIAS: (Chuckling) Be encouraged, and allow yourself the expression of joyfulness in your new becoming!
JENE: Thank you. I am working on it!
ELIAS: Quite, and you are quite worthy of your own expression of acceptance ... although you are not entirely believing of this yet! I may continue to express this to you, for you. (Chuckling)
JENE: And of this discounting of self that we hold — or I hold — where did that come from?
ELIAS: This is a manifestation of separation. Throughout your history within this dimension, you have attached more and more to your reality of your belief systems and you have moved farther and farther away from the remembrance of essence, and in creating this separation, you also are creating of a mistrust, for you are not remembering self and the gloriousness of your abilities within self, and you reinforce all of this — what you term to be negativity — in a lack of acceptance of self, for what shall you trust if you are not understanding and viewing unknown? But it is not unknown. It is merely forgotten, and in this lack of remembrance, as you create more and more of this separation, you create this rift, so to speak, between yourself and yourself, and in this, you create your expression of what I have expressed previously in your oubliette. You isolate yourselves into believing that you are singular and that you are alone, and that you are unworthy and that you do not create well enough, and that all outside of you is better or that you may aspire to be better, and I express to you that all you need be aspiring to, in physical terms, is the remembrance of yourself.
JENE: (Sighing) That’s wonderful. Thanks.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
JENE: Okay. Now, what is right under my nose? (Laughing) I’m asking straightforward because I haven’t found it, unless it’s the teaching of what I have done for twenty-three years, of the make-up itself. Or is that just another door that’s opening, and eventually I will get what you were saying to me?
ELIAS: We return to what you shall physically express of long ago!
JENE: Long ago, yes! (Laughing, and Elias chuckles)
ELIAS: I am aware that many times, within your physical terms and within your beliefs and your thought processes, the words that I express to you seem elusive and symbolic, and they are not. But as you each hold to your beliefs so very tightly and you hold to your perceptions in the familiar — this is key — as you hold to the familiar within your perceptions, many times you do not view in actuality the more-ness of reality, but limit yourselves in very familiar physical terms.
Now; I am not expressing “cosmic floatingness” or elusive elements of consciousness that are ungraspable that exist within your universe and are not available to you! But within physical focus, you are so very accustomed to automatic patterns and thought processes that many times you create your own process, and your process is to be seeking and searching to the point that in your terms, you give up, and in this giving up — which is not giving up but merely turning your attention — you chance to turn your attention away from the familiar and venture into the unfamiliar, which is your natural expression.
For much time period from that point of that statement, you have moved in the direction of looking very physically to events, interactions with other individuals, employment, creations in very officially accepted definitions. In that, be remembering that I have expressed to you that you hold a didactic ability, and I have also expressed to you that this — what I express — is not necessarily in the conventional terms of your definition of teaching. But you have continued to move in the direction of conventional terms and the official accepted reality, looking outward to employ, to physical abilities; what your hand may produce, what your movement physically may produce. Production is what has held your attention. What I have expressed to you is what you are moving into now, in what you have allowed yourself in this break point, to be looking to Rudy and your expression of self; not what you may produce, not what you may be creating physically with your hands, but what you are and what you offer in what you are.
In this, as you begin to allow yourself that acceptance of self — which I have spoken to you of many times — and you allow yourself to be naturally moving in conjunction with that expression, it may flow through your physical hands, but the physical hands are not the object. They are not the point. You may translate in whatever manner you choose, but this is not the point, and this be what I have been expressing to you for much time framework.
You have addressed me with specific questions in quite absolute terms, and I have answered in unabsolute terms, for we are not speaking in absolutes, for there are no absolutes, but within physical focus you want absolutes, for this is familiar and this offers you comfort, but it also limits your abilities.
Your natural expression of self is much greater than what you allow through your physical hands. They are merely instruments; not that they are not an element of the expression of your physical projection of essence — for you are not a vessel and you are aware of this — but that they have been perceived as the “production maker.” In this, YOU are the producer; not what emerges from your physical creation, but what you project within yourself outwardly as yourself and what you offer to other individuals in that expression.
You have allowed yourself within this particular focus a great many experiences. You have also allowed yourself within this particular focus an acquisition of much information. Now move into the mergence of the information and the experiences, and allow a free flow of your being naturally. You may move into the direction of being YOU.
Once again, I hold the awareness that this may be seeming elusive, but I express to you, there is a partial element of your expression that you enjoy. There is a partial element of your physical production that you allow yourself pleasure and fun within — partial. In the actual creation of color and tone and shading, you allow yourself pleasure. There is another element of your physical production that you do not experience pleasure and you rail against.
I express to you, you have inquired many times, “Which direction shall I proceed within?” And I say to you, proceed in the direction that expresses YOU, the focus of Jene within this time framework and this physical expression of focus, what Jene wishes to express in pleasure and fun; not in “supposed to,” not in “have to,” not in “must,” not in obligation, but that expression which allows you a free flow of your energy of YOU.
And regardless, you may express counter back to me, “Ah, but Elias, you do not occupy physical focus, and I hold financial obligations and bills and debts and I must be responsible and I must be attending to these, as they are my reality!”
Yes, they are your reality, and I am not discounting of this. I am also expressing to you that it is unnecessary to be moving in the direction of pushing, for you may allow yourself to attach to and believe what you express to other individuals: “Your universe is a safe place and it shall provide for you and you need not worry, for all that you need shall be with you.” You are quite accomplished at offering this information to other individuals, but you do not allow yourself the experience ... the experience and information.
Now merge with self, not concerning [yourself] with personal responsibility for all other individuals, but afford yourself the generosity that you afford others. You are equally as worthy as any individual that you extend to, but you do not extend to YOU, and I express to you that you are creating a great injustice to self, for no other individual that occupies physical focus upon this planet holds more worthiness and deservingness of your attention. They merely may express in dramatics that may gain your attention objectively, but you are attempting in desperation in your own dramatics to gain your attention also.
JENE: Okay. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very, very welcome.
JENE: (Emotionally) I appreciate that. I think I might be able to understand that now.
ELIAS: And in this, acknowledge your movement.
ELIAS: For within our initial meetings, you were not understanding objectively.
JENE: No. No, I was not.
ELIAS: Of which I held awareness. But you were assimilating subjectively and you were moving, and I expressed acknowledgment to you continuously ... although you did not believe me! I expressed ongoing, “You are moving,” and now you come to fruition and you see objectively, you ARE moving.
JENE: That’s great.
ELIAS: Much affection to you.
JENE: Thank you, Elias.
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
JENE: (To Trish) And thank you for the tissues. Can I call you Patty? (Laughing)
I have an issue with an individual, and it is a conflict, and I am perplexed by it. There is a certain amount of duplicity that takes place when we are within each other’s physical environment. I haven’t been able to completely remove my judgment or my criticism. I hold it up, I view it, I say, “It is here and I am doing this,” but I don’t understand the depth of the conflict, other than perhaps the 13th century, some things that went on at that time with she and I.
ELIAS: There is a lending of energy from this focus, but I express to you that you offer yourselves — ah, your favorite word! — great OPPORTUNITY. (Laughter)
In this, I express to you that you mirror to each other elements within yourselves that you each hold difficulty in movement in addressing to. Therefore, you slip yourselves each — for she also — into the expression of turning your attention once again outward.
Temporarily you look inward and you question and you notice, and you discontinue temporarily and you express questioning to yourselves, and you appear surfacely to be “addressing to the situation.” (Grinning) I express to you that you ARE noticing but you are NOT addressing to the situation, for your attentions become distracted. This occurs in conjunction with emotion. Emotion flares. It is familiar, once again, to allow this emotional cloud to arise, for this creates quite efficiently a covering. It allows each of you to recede and not to be looking within, but to be justifying.
This, as I have expressed, is a very, very large bird — quite fat! — with very many individuals. You are quite familiar and quite accustomed to justifying yourselves, expressing that you are right, and you may even guise this in, “I am accepting of myself. I am expressing my acceptance of self, and therefore I am justified, and therefore you are not!” (Laughter) This bird is quite adept at camouflage and is quite elusive and very difficult to hold!
In this, I express to you, I hold awareness of the difficulty that you each express within physical terms: that you may be attempting and you may be noticing, but your emotional expressions continue regardless. I am not expressing to you that you discontinue in your emotional expressions. This would not be figuratively quite possible regardless, for it is a basic element of your reality.
The point of this shift — the point of this acceptance — is to move your attention from this area of automatic responses and familiar creations and familiar patterns into more of an expanded awareness, that you may offer yourself the ability to view more of your choices.
Within the present now, you have moved from viewing before you in a given situation two choices to — figuratively speaking — six choices, and you express to yourself, “I am accepting of self and I am widening my awareness. I have moved from two choices to six choices.” And I express to you that the objective is to be moving into the area of gray, in which you view multitudes of choices, and in this, you do not move into this awareness by concentrating upon outside. You do not move into this awareness by holding your attention upon the behaviors of other individuals. I am aware that this is difficult, for you interact with other individuals, and your expression to me is that their behaviors are affecting of you. No, no, no! This is a CHOICE.
(Intently) I have offered you all the exercise of your buffer quite intentionally and purposefully, that you may hold a method, that you may visualize your energy field, that you may allow yourselves to feel its power, that you may feel within yourselves secure — for this word of security holds great value to you — and in this, you may know within you that another individual’s projection may not penetrate.
In this, it is not a situation of protection and it is not an expression that you need be feeling safe. But temporarily, we move into expressions — and I offer expressions to you all — that may be facilitating of the accomplishment of moving into acceptance of self, although it may be a perpetuation of some elements of your existing beliefs. I hold an awareness of this interaction that I offer with you all, but it may be beneficial, in like manner to my expression to certain individuals that they be expressing to themselves the offering that they are accomplishing “good,” for they are not within an awareness — yet — that they may move into an acceptance of self without the acknowledgment of “good.”
This is not to say that I am not encouraging all individuals to be moving beyond this into a completeness of acceptance, but you are entrenched in your methods and your processes, and in this, we work together, and I offer you information that may be applicable to your processes and your methods, that you may be accomplishing and you may be expressing to yourselves that you are accomplishing, to the point where you realize that it is unnecessary to express accomplishment, for you merely are.
In this, as to your interaction, as I have stated, I hold an awareness of the difficulty, and I express to you continued: Hold your attention within self. Be accepting of self. Be recognizing that regardless of your clarity, regardless of your knowing, regardless of your expression, another individual’s knowing and expression and acceptance may be translated within their perception quite differently, and it IS reality. These are quite easy words to say. They are not quite easy concepts to apply!
JENE: I don’t seem to be able to get through the ... I’m not trying to use a method or a process.
ELIAS: It matters not. There are mass belief systems in play in these areas which lend tremendous energy. You are not merely addressing to your individual selves and your expression of your own individual energy, but you are also moving contrary to the energy expressed within mass belief systems, which confuse[s] you, for you express to yourself, “I wish to be accepting of self. I wish to be accepting of another individual. I wish to be encompassing of all of this acceptance.” But your mass belief systems move contrary to these expressions. It is acceptable for you to be accepting in certain situations. It is acceptable for you to NOT be accepting in certain situations.
In this, it has created great confusion, for you understand partially the concept that another individual creates their reality, but you also attach quite strongly within mass belief systems that there are certain elements of your reality that are shared and common and that you hold common definitions for. You hold the same reality, all, in certain areas. I express to you, no, you do not. It may appear in certain terms that you agree upon certain elements of your reality. You may attach to certain words and you may each express to yourselves and to each other, “Yes, we hold the same definition of this word.” But although collectively you express to each other and to yourselves that you may define a word the same, in interaction you define differently.
You may express to another individual and you may express to yourself that you are offering clarity — absoluteness — in your expression and you may express, “Yes, I shall engage a boating outing with you this day.” And another individual may look to you and may respond in, “Are you not wishing to be boating with me today?” And you express frustration and express, “I have stated, I shall be boating with you today. Is this not clear?” And the other individual shall express to you, “I am confused. Wish you not to be boating with me?” And you both go round and round and create frustration and confusion and irritation and move automatically into your own justifications. You automatically move into a lack of acceptance of the other individual.
You shall likely express to the other individual, “I am frustrated. I shall not be speaking with you today, for I attempt to be clear and expressing myself with you, and you hold no understanding of my words, and which of these words do you not be understanding?” And you hold the same definition for “I,” you hold the same definition for “shall,” you hold the same definition for “be,” you hold the same identification for the vehicle of boat, you hold the same definition for the words “with” and “you.” But your perceptions are different. Your realities are different.
Therefore, your words are colored in the hue of pink, and they are received by the other individual in the hue of purple, and they no longer hold the same definition, but each holds REALITY.
Your reality is no more or less than the other individual’s, and vice versa. They are equal in their reality, but as you do not view that each of you holds your own individual reality ... or you [view that you each] hold the officially accepted reality, which is common to you all and absolute: affirmative is affirmative, negative is negative. No, it is not! Affirmative to one individual is negative to another individual. These are not absolutes, but you view them as absolutes, for your officially accepted reality expresses that they are absolutes: yes is yes, no is no.
JENE: Well, how in the world do you talk or express objectively to another individual that holds this....
ELIAS: You express within yourself, you express yourself to them, and you listen and you allow yourself openness — the dreaded word “vulnerability” — and you allow yourself to view their perception also, and within the knowing of your perception and their perception, this be the area of gray in which all of your choices lie, and in this area of gray, there are many other avenues to be expressing yourselves to each other and accomplishing your common ground, realizing that each individual’s reality is different and IS REALITY. You have created this physical reality highly individualized. (Pause)
JENE: Quite! (Laughing)
ELIAS: You have created an exceedingly intricate reality in this physical dimension, of which I have spoken many times, and it is a wondrous complication, for it offers you tremendous avenues for exploration and to be expressive of yourself. It is merely the situation that you have become so very accustomed to narrowing your awareness and moving into very familiar expressions which are quite limited.
VIKKI: Well, is there a better method of communicating with others to gain clarity, or is clarity each individual’s reality once again? There is no mutual clarity in communication?
ELIAS: Clarity, as you express it to yourselves, is an illusion. You have developed a belief in this area that you may be clear if you are aligning with the officially accepted reality, that element of your reality within your communications that you assume all individuals hold the same definitions within. Therefore, it be an absolute. I express to you, it is not an absolute!
Therefore, your idea of clarity is an illusion, for what may be clear to you may be very cloudy to another individual. It may appear quite clear — crystally — to yourself, and another individual may be quite confused with your crystal clarity! And they may be crystal clear within themselves, and you may be quite confused in their expression and not objectively understanding. But regardless that you do not in actuality hold the same definitions of your communications, you DO hold commonality in being, in energy, in movement, in understanding, and in knowing.
In this, as you allow yourselves to be listening, as you allow yourselves to be moving in the direction of allowing yourself the perception of another individual, you also shall automatically begin to move yourself out of your automatic responses and into alternative choices, for you shall immediately recognize that your automatic responses are inefficient, and you are (clapping three times). And you may continue to smack (clapping twice)....
VIKKI: So if we take your example again, “I wish to be boating with you tomorrow,” or “Do you want to be boating?” the communication is, “We will be boating together,” and I go away in my reality assuming I’ll see you tomorrow, and if you’re not there, then I accept, or I look for my other choices, or I look for alternatives?
ELIAS: The point is not the other individual’s response. The point is YOUR automatic responses. If you appear within the location to be boating and the other individual does not appear, it matters not. You have created a choice, and that individual has created a choice.
Now; with respect to your question, you are questioning how to be finding, so to speak, the common ground, the commonality in which you both move in the same direction, in which you both appear to be engaging your outing of boating amiably, in which you accomplish agreement. First of all, recognize that agreement is merely agreement. It is not “better” than non-agreement. Non-agreement many times is quite beneficial also. Therefore, do not delude yourselves into the thought process that you wish to be within agreement continuously with all other individuals upon your planet, for you shall become quite bored!
But as to the commonality of the expressions and the agreements, I have spoken many times to be engaging your inner senses. I have expressed many times, engage your empathic sense.
(Humorously) This is ooooo, elusive, for this is ooooo, a cosmic action! (Grinning) And you are engaging your spirituality and must be meditating specifically and merging with another individual intentionally and purposefully, and this is a specific action that you engage. This has been grossly misinterpreted!
I express to you, engaging your empathic sense is not quite so very formal, but merely allowing yourself to be recognizing that another individual’s perception — which is their reality — is not the same as your own. Therefore, what is it? And allow yourself to view what another individual’s perception and reality is, and in this, you offer to yourselves more of an understanding, not merely of the other individual but of yourselves also, for you present yourselves with these differences intentionally, that you may offer yourselves information of yourselves. You draw to yourselves quite specifically all of your experiences.
You each, within this room presently this day, do not draw yourselves to the experience of massive guns pointed to your chests by strangers. This is not within your experience. You do not draw this experience to you, for this is not the direction of your attention in which you are offering yourself information of yourself. Other individuals do draw this experience to themselves, for this attains their attention and offers them information in mirror action. You do not draw to yourselves tremendous prejudice, in your words, for you do not express this outwardly. Therefore, it is unnecessary for you to mirror this to yourselves.
You DO draw to yourselves conflicts and frustrations with other individuals. You DO draw to yourselves difficulties in acquiring certain aspects of employ, of currency — financial abilities and stabilities, in your terms — for these are areas that attain your attention and mirror to you your own fears and your own beliefs, those areas that YOU attach to and place great importance within. Therefore, you present yourselves outwardly, objectively with these types of situations that shall face you in mirror action to what YOU address to inwardly. Individuals that address to great lack of acceptance of other individual’s choices within their focus shall mirror to themselves and present to themselves much lack of acceptance, that they may view within their own creations that element of themselves.
VIKKI: Is this at all times, with parents, children, friends? It’s always a mirror of ourselves?
ELIAS: In a manner of speaking, but not entirely. In one manner of speaking, I may express to you, yes, you are continuously presenting yourselves with mirror actions. In another, I may express to you, no, there are certain experiences that you draw to yourself to provide yourself with information, that you may be moving into more of an expression of effortlessness within your focus and not necessarily moving yourself into addressing to the same issue. But as I have stated, in an abstract, so to speak, manner of speaking, you may express that all of your actions mirror in some manner elements that you hold within.
There are time frameworks in which you are mirroring to other individuals what they draw to themselves ... not that you are not continuously engaged in this action also. But what I am expressing to you is that there ARE times in which you are creating the reverse, so to speak, action, in which you offer yourself as a mirror to other individuals. You may not be experiencing conflict within that time period, or confusion. You may merely be presenting yourself, and the other individual may be experiencing confusion and conflict in interaction with you, for they are presenting themselves drawing themselves to you and your expression, that they may view elements within themselves that they choose to be addressing to. In these types of interactions, you shall view that you may be expressing to yourselves “it matters not” and you shall not be caught in responsiveness, so to speak. You shall merely present yourself and hold no conflict within this; an ease in your expression.
But as I have expressed many times previously, generally speaking, if you are engaged in conflict with another individual, you may express to yourself that you are drawing this experience to yourself that you may view elements of yourself that are the same. You may express them differently, but the issue is the same.
VIKKI: So the mirror is generally a reflection of conflict. If two people are just comfortable, interact, and walk away, they’re simply expressing, but if there’s conflict involved, the mirror is generally there.
ELIAS: You may be mirroring to each other in no conflict, in sharing, but this is not necessarily to be offering you the opportunity within your attention to be addressing to your individual issues, for within this reality, you are much more fascinated with your dead mouse than you are with your butterflies! (Grinning)
JENE: I invited Joshua to attend this session, and he chose to be experiencing the subjective state of sleep. He asked me, which I’m sure there’s a very wide answer, why did ... he thinks God saved him for a purpose. Why did he save himself? He is floundering at this time in a state of “let’s stay drugged” and not moving objectively very quickly. Subjectively, I believe he probably is moving, learning, and exchanging, but objectively, he appears to be stagnant. So, I’m asking for him: he wants to know his purpose.
ELIAS: And I express to him individually, his purpose is to be experiencing.
To you, I express that his purpose within his experiencing is to be challenging your beliefs.
VIKKI: He’s challenging our beliefs?
ELIAS: Quite, for he chooses to be creating experiences that are nonproductive, and this is unacceptable and this is bad, and this challenges your beliefs and challenges your awakenings to acceptance.
VIKKI: That’s for sure!
JENE: He definitely does that!
ELIAS: And as you continue to be nonaccepting and as you continue to place expectations in this area, you lend energy to the perpetuation of this experience and it continues, and as you allow yourselves to move into the area of “it matters not” and not be lending energy to the perpetuation, the payoff shall cease and the action of experience shall change.
VIKKI: How do we do that? I don’t know how. It feels like parenting, Elias, is to lend guidance, which of course is with judgment based on my experience. I don’t know how to parent. I believe everything you just said. It’s absolutely true.
ELIAS: And your belief system of parenting is a belief system! They are aspects of the belief system of relationships.
(Firmly) Your involvement, your role, is merely to be offering the facilitation of physical entry into physical manifestation. Your obligation and your responsibility extends no further, but you hold very strong beliefs in this area: that you ARE obligated, that you DO hold responsibilities, that you SHALL be guiding, that you SHALL be influencing, that you SHALL be expressing and molding of this individual or of any individual that is designated as your child.
I express to you, this is NOT your job. It is your beliefs, which are perpetuated by your societies.
And in this — as within the interaction of any individual, for this individual is creating their reality in like manner to every other individual upon this planet — you are not creating his reality for him, and you may not! You may not create his choices, but you may influence by lending energy and by offering the payoff, and if you are offering the payoff, the individual shall continue.
Individuals move into expressions of behaviors with other individuals for they receive a payoff, and if you are not receiving a payoff within physical focus in interaction with another individual, you shall discontinue the action, for it is pointless. And as you continue to perpetuate and lend energy to this situation, he shall continue to be creating this situation, for he is receiving his payoff and he is accomplishing his value fulfillment within his focus in his experience.
VIKKI: So you’re saying that letting go of my judgment of his experiences he’s creating ... my purpose is to let go? Give in to him and quit lending energy when I disapprove of what he’s creating?
ELIAS: And why shall you disapprove? It is merely his experience, and you hold the ability to turn your attention and not participate. Your participation is your objective choice.
VIKKI: I know that’s true.
ELIAS: There is no cosmic rule that expresses to you that you must be creating in any fashion! It is entirely your choice, and if you are not enjoying, if you are not creating pleasure, if you are not creating fun, if you are not wishing to be participating in certain situations and interactions with other individuals, then cease creating them! I express to you, it is — in this area — very uncomplicated!
Engage your no-conflict scenario. Your no-conflict scenario is to not participate, knowing that you do not create another individual’s choices or their reality. Therefore, in your very physical terms, you do not hold control!
In this, another individual is creating all of their reality within every moment, and you may merely create your own reality, and in your reality, regardless of another individual’s behavior, regardless of another individual’s creations and expressions, if you are offering yourself your no-conflict scenario and if your no-conflict scenario is to be removing yourself from the participation and engagement of certain situations, I express to you, engage your no-conflict scenario, for this expresses your acceptance of you, your acceptance of the other individual and their choices without judgment, and it moves you into quite a different expression.
VIKKI: I think when it’s our children ... I was thinking of the fact that with my daughter, it’s very easy not to try to control her and to just give her the space to become the person she is, but that’s because the person she is becoming is everything I approve of.
VIKKI: She is doing it within my approved reality, so there is no conflict. If she goes outside of that, she engages me in conflict.
VIKKI: The problem where children are concerned — or a significant other — is the fear, fear that if you let go, their choices will be damaging or destructive to them in some way.
ELIAS: And it matters not, for this is their reality!
VIKKI: It’s their choice. I intellectually know that to be true.
ELIAS: But you have not created your translation into reality.
VIKKI: Right. To emotionally let go to that degree still holds such a strong element of fear.
ELIAS: Then I express to you, begin in small increments, in not lending energy and not offering the payoff; in objective terms, in not responding.
VIKKI: There is one small place where I’ve done this and it worked so beautifully, which is what tells me how true your words are. With his school, when he wants to blame me for being there, I just say, “These are your choices. I don’t make you go there. You do what you want to do,” and it truly diffuses it. It takes the energy away and he stays by his choice, not accusing me of it, and in watching it work this way, now that I’ve let go, I know from example that what you say is true. It is just a matter of pulling back in increments. (Some of this was inaudible, but I think I’ve gotten the gist of it.)
VIKKI: And watching him fly by himself. Thank you.
ELIAS: You are very welcome. There is difficulty in this area, but I express to you assuredly, you hold the ability to be accomplishing.
VIKKI: I believe that’s true.
ELIAS: I shall be accepting of one more questioning this day, and we shall be discontinuing in this engagement.
JENE: I’m pretty much satisfied. I just love being in your presence, which you know. So....
ELIAS: HA HA! For I hold such grandness!
JENE: Even though I think I’m about to get blasted every time I talk to you! (Laughing) And that’s because those of us who can take it, get it, right?
ELIAS: Merely at times! (Chuckling)
VIKKI: Mary, can you give me ... not Mary. Elias, can you give me any more knowledge of my son that can assist me in the letting go? His experience in that has certainly gotten my attention.
ELIAS: He holds quite stubbornness.
ELIAS: He holds quite an expression of stubbornness.
VIKKI: Mine is an expression of stubbornness?
JENE: No. He holds.
VIKKI: He holds an expression of stubbornness?
ELIAS: Quite, and shall project as strongly to you as you project to him. As intensely as you project energy in the guise of lovingness and guiding and parenting, do not delude yourself that he does not subjectively recognize that your energy extends from your expectations, and he shall rail against this in equal measure of energy. Therefore, I express to you, what I may offer to you in information of your son, you already hold in knowing. What you have not objectively allowed yourself until this point is the objective recognition of your own strength in your projection, and in this, as you withdraw your expression, it shall also diffuse his expression.
You are each quite willful, and offer each other great challenge. Therefore, you are quite beneficial to each other, are you not?
VIKKI: He mirrors me on a constant level.
ELIAS: Quite, and this is quite beneficial, for it allows you to widen your awareness.
VIKKI: So it’s about working on me, not working on him.
ELIAS: Quite! (Chuckling)
JENE: Elias, Vikki is having an issue with her feet. They are in much pain and soreness, and her heels are very sore and very tender. She is going through objectively our menopausal state, but I wonder, would you give a bit more in depth as to what that pain actually is?
ELIAS: This is the holding to all that we are discussing within this very session. All that I have offered to you in information of your expectations and of your projection of energy is also projected objectively into your physical feet — those elements of your physical form that allow you to stand and to hold upright within your resolve — and as you allow yourself to be moving into the expression of “it matters not” and letting go of the projection of expectations and not holding so firmly to your energy in your resolve, you also shall be affecting of your physical feet. (Chuckling)
JENE: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
VIKKI: Thank you.
ELIAS: This day, I offer to you each great affection.
(To Trish) I express welcome to you as new essence, and anticipate further interaction futurely.
TRISH: Thank you.
ELIAS: To you each this day, I extend energy from myself, that you may be accomplishing efficiently and with less conflict. Receive comfort in this energy ... that may allow you more of an ease.
To you each this day, quite lovingly, au revoir.
JENE: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 4:58 PM.
(1) As you can see, this is an incomplete sentence. There are others, some of which I have altered. All alterations are indicated in all transcripts, except the occasional removal of the words “and” and “for,” and the infrequent removal of the words “but” and “that.”
Recently (9/24/99), I talked to Elias about the energy exchange and what is occurring presently, which offered me a partial explanation of why the speech patterns are slightly different. Basically, there is a much greater incorporation of the volume of energy, which is affecting of many elements of the exchange, including Elias’ speech.
(2) I have changed one word in the following sentence: “It is acceptable for you to be accepting in certain situations.” It was originally stated, “It is acceptable for you to be acceptable in certain situations.”
© 1999 Vicki Pendley/Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved
Copyright 1999 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.