“Perceptions Around Money”
“The Complex Subject of Lying”
“Encouraging Another’s Self-Discovery”
“Celebrate What Is, Don’t Grieve for What Was Not”
Tuesday, February 8, 2011 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Terri (Uliva)
ELIAS: Good afternoon!
TERRI: Good afternoon!
ELIAS: (Laughs) And how is your adventure proceeding now?
TERRI: Pretty good. I was talking to Mary about feeling much better physically and more balanced and more emotionally stable, so I think it’s been a big release of energy for both of us. And I was wondering if that’s what the imagery of my kitchen ceiling leaking was showing me?
ELIAS: Yes. Holding to energies and allowing yourself to let go.
TERRI: And that imagery was kind of showing me that I have let go?
ELIAS: Yes. And also, another factor of that imagery is the damaging aspect of accumulation, which is an action that most individuals do without actually being aware or recognizing that that is what they are doing, but accumulating through time energy that is generated through associations repeatedly. And as that accumulates, it can be damaging.
TERRI: And when you’re talking about the accumulation, is that mostly in relation to Bubba? Because I feel like… I know that that was accumulating, and I feel like I’ve had a breakthrough in that area.
ELIAS: HAVE you?
TERRI: I believe I have. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And shall you share?
TERRI: But I’m not even sure really what happened, or what had happened, but I just felt this more calming feeling in relation to him and what he’s doing. And you know, it’s been interesting because he’s reflecting it back in being more responsible and calling me and telling me what number he was at, which surprised me the other night. But then on the other hand of it, that one day I caught him in four different lies. So… But I felt like there was definite shift, and I think part of it was related to an ongoing feeling that I was having that he was never going to move out and that he was going to drain me of all my money, and I feel like I have finally moved my attention from that. Is that fair to say?
TERRI: So basically that’s an illusion in my own mind, and I know that I can create differently.
ELIAS: That is significant.
TERRI: Yeah, and I could feel it when I moved my attention.
TERRI: Thank you. That was big, because it’s such a constant focusing. I could feel that it was such a constant focusing.
And also, with money in general, I was so happy this time last year with finding out that I had some extra money and realizing that I haven’t really enjoyed it, because now there’s a constant fear that I’m going to lose it all or it’s not going to be enough or it’s not going to grow in the way… So what I’ve done is replace one fear with another! (Laughs)
ELIAS: Which is not unusual.
TERRI: Right. And I remember you saying that before, when people come into money, a lot of times they lose it because they’re not prepared for it. So I thought about that.
ELIAS: For it is a situation in which most individuals generate this idea that if they incorporated large sums of money in one time framework that they would generate their life very differently, and that it would create much more ease and comfort. And they are looking at a symbol of what they equate with money; they equate money with freedom and comfort, and therefore it becomes their symbol of that.
And the difficulty is, when individuals perceive they do not have money – even if they do, if they perceive they do not – money becomes a focus of answers. It becomes their solution. The difficulty with that is that the individual has generated years, [a] considerable time framework of their life, in particular directions and generating particular associations and perceptions, and money does not change that. The perceptions, the associations remain.
Therefore, if they DO generate a windfall and create an abundance of money, it becomes evident that their perception is not actually changed. And in that, it does not necessarily change their life; it does not necessarily offer them the freedom or the comfort that they expected.
What it CAN do is it can provide an aspect of comfort or enhance an aspect of playfulness or lightness, IF the individual is already addressing to those old associations, and if they are already moving through those expressions of perception that continue regardless of the additional money. In this, as with yourself, you begin to notice that your apprehensions, your fears, your issues surrounding the subject of money remain; they merely incorporate a different mask.
TERRI: Right. So I believe that I’ve started moving through those old associations.
ELIAS: I would agree – which is very valuable. And that is a significant change, for it is not a matter of holding to –
TERRI: Right. Which is what I spent all last year doing.
ELIAS: — but rather a matter of allowing yourself that freedom to know that in relation to that particular manifestation you have choices, and empowering yourself with your choices.
Money does not empower you if you incorporate your time holding to it and guarding it. It benefits you when you allow it to be a manifestation that enhances your comfort and what you want in your experiences, when you allow yourself to use it in a playful manner. When you are holding to it and guarding it, the only purpose it serves is to bind you.
TERRI: Right. Which is basically what I realized.
ELIAS: But that is a significant realization, for that allows you to change your perception. And in that, it offers you more choices.
When you are holding to it and protecting it, your choices are very limited, for the only choices you incorporate are what actions you can continue to do to hold it. Whereas, your choices are unlimited if you are not holding to it. If you perceive it to be an enhancement in your life, that allows you the freedom to choose in whatever direction you want to incorporate the use of it.
TERRI: So… (sighs) Is there anything else I need to do in this area? Like a next step, or…?
ELIAS: You expressed that your son lied to you.
TERRI: Yeah, four times in one day!
ELIAS: And how did you feel?
TERRI: Well, I felt that we had been making progress, and I didn’t understand what this seeming backward direction was about.
ELIAS: It may not necessarily be a backward direction. How did you feel?
TERRI: I felt let down. I felt disappointed that we were doing this again.
ELIAS: Do you understand what is occurring when you generate that feeling of disappointment in relation to another individual?
ELIAS: That you feel disappointed as a reaction to an unfulfilled expectation; that you generate an expectation on the other individual, and when they do not fulfill that expectation, your reaction to that is to be disappointed. This is a significant factor.
Now, I recognize that every individual incorporates their own individual guidelines, and in relation to those guidelines, some factors of behaviors become very important, for which for many individuals is what you perceive to be honesty. This is an expression that individuals in many capacities value considerably.
This is a tricky subject, my friend. The subject of lying is a slippery slope, for there are different factors involved – there are MANY factors involved, regarding both sides. There are factors of expectations, there are factors of reality, there are factors of perception. There can be factors of protection, defense, avoidance, at times manipulation – but the manipulation is also very strongly associated with issues.
The subject of truth or honesty and dishonesty or lying is a complex subject. It is not as black and white as “you either express the truth or you lie.” That is the direction that many individuals move in, not considering all of the factors that are involved and not considering their own participation.
TERRI: Well, with him it’s also coupled with the fear that his father was such an incredible liar and just would sit there and tell you the glass was full and you’re looking at it and it’s empty and he’d actually believe it. And it’s a fear that he’s going to become the same piece of shit that his father did, that somehow this is genetic or something.
ELIAS: And did you hear yourself?
TERRI: Oh yeah. (Laughs)
ELIAS: This is a part of the picture in relation to lying or being lied to. In order to express what you would determine as an untruth or a lie, there must be two participants. Alone, an individual can express what you define as a lie, but it incorporates no actual impact.
TERRI: It’s just information.
ELIAS: Correct. And in that, alone an individual can express what you define as a lie, and that can be reconstructed or viewed as a wish, a want, a fantasy, but not necessarily a lie. It is a lie when there are two or more individuals participating.
Now; if there are more than one individual participating, there are other factors, not merely the individual that is supposedly expressing the lie. You are also participating; therefore, there is an aspect of that situation that you are also creating.
ELIAS: This is the part that most individuals do not want to look at or address to but rather merely to project to the other individual and express their own disappointment that the other individual expressed what they considered to be an untruth.
TERRI: So am I creating this because of the fear that it’s genetic and he’s going to turn out like his father?
ELIAS: Not necessarily that it’s genetic.
TERRI: Or inherited, or hereditary?
ELIAS: I would express that that is a factor – on YOUR part.
ELIAS: I would express that this is another layer in your growth and in your discovery of generating an association and a concept in relation to individuals and placing them in potential positions, which leads to expectations: expectations of what you want them to be, but also expectations of what you almost view as inevitable.
This is a significant point, for it places individuals in positions in your perception which are very limiting. And in a manner of speaking, they are being placed in boxes that they cannot escape from unless you unlock them, regardless of what they do.
Now; just as you expressed that you notice now how you were generating a certain perception in relation to money, and now you can see what you were doing and how you were limiting yourself in relation to money, in a similar manner you do this with individuals, that you generate your perception of individuals very much in relation to associations that you hold, and regardless of what the individual does, that they can be generating actions that are moving in the direction of your expectations of potentials for them, or your idea of what you want them to do, but inevitably and eventually they will fall short, for you have placed them in this box. They cannot escape this box in your perception, unless YOU release them.
TERRI: Like I have done, kind of, with Sharon? Because I feel like I created a specific association about her and who she was and what she could and couldn’t do, what she was and wouldn’t do. And I feel like I moved my attention significantly and allowed myself to create moving and taking charge and working [inaudible]. So like that?
TERRI: So basically giving them permission to leave the box?
ELIAS: Yes. You releasing them, allowing them to be who they are, not to prove to you who they are – which, this is another aspect of your own past associations and issues that are no longer shrines. You have dismantled that sufficiently enough that they are no longer shrines, but that there are aspects that remain in these issues.
You do this in an expression of protection with yourself. You have developed associations in relation to other individuals that automatically generates a skepticism, that other individuals must prove themself before you allow your trust or your acceptance. The problem or the difficulty with that is that they cannot prove themself for they are already in your box, and until you release them from that box and allow them to be themself without proving to you, they continue to fall short, and that continues to present disappointments to you.
Now, I am quite understanding. This is not an unusual action. You have generated experiences and associations within your lifetime that, in your perception, have driven you in a direction of perceiving [that] protecting yourself is necessary.
It is NOT necessary, and in this, it will be much more beneficial to you, and much less distressing and conflicting for you, to allow yourself to let go of that protection, in a similar manner as you have let go of holding to the money, recognizing that holding to the money does not serve you; it limits you and it binds you, and it definitely limits your choices. Holding other individuals in these boxes also limits your choices and limits your interaction, and it binds you in an uncomfortable position, for it sets you in a position of continuously potentially BEING disappointed or uncomfortable.
And as a byproduct of that, it encourages other individuals to continue to express and behave in the very manners that disappoint you, for you are projecting an energy that expects that also. You generate the wanted expectations of what you want another individual to change, and you generate the expectations of what you believe they are. And in those expectations, you project an energy that reinforces the behaviors that you do not want.
Now; in this, you can begin to change that by recognizing [that] first of all, no individual – regardless of their environment, regardless of their genetics, regardless of their heredity – no individual is destined to be or to express in any manner. Choice is always a factor.
Yes, there are influences of environment, which includes the individuals that are within an environment; yes, there are those influences. Is any individual bound to those influences? No; you are not. Yes, they can be, and most often ARE, affecting in some capacity – depending on the individual, some individuals more so than others.
You yourself have experienced the influence of your environment with your own upbringing and your parents, and how that has influenced you. Has it actually bound you? Were you bound that you do not incorporate the ability to generate any other movement or any other choices? No, and you have shown yourself that.
ELIAS: Can you move beyond those influences? Yes, you can, and you have shown yourself that, that you incorporate the capacity to grow and to be aware, regardless of what the influences of your environment are.
This holds and applies to every other individual also, including your son. But even without the presence of his father, if you are projecting an energy that places him in that box that he is the same, that he is destined to be the same, that he WILL be the same, that he CANNOT express differently, you deny him his choices and the expression of his genuine self with you – not entirely, but with you and with your interaction with each other. And, even if he DOES generate change, that is not to say that you will necessarily see it.
TERRI: Right. And I have been feeling different about him.
How does this tie in with him going to see the psychologist on his own and [inaudible]?
ELIAS: You are developing and growing and therefore becoming more aware of yourself and your own participations in deeply rooted layers of yourself, which I greatly acknowledge. In doing so, you are opening the door to that box. In opening the door – although you have not yet RELEASED him – but in opening the door, you are generating a different energy. He feels. He does not necessarily entirely interpret that in relation to thinking – yet – and he is not entirely aware of defining what that means yet, but he feels that energy; which, in a manner of speaking, is expressing to him an encouragement: “I am not releasing you yet, for there remains a protective aspect within myself, but I am opening the door, and you can look outside the door. And – “
TERRI: That’s very generous of me. (Laughs)
ELIAS: “— what do you see outside the door? What do you want to see outside the door?”
I would express that you are correct, it IS very generous, for this is an action that you have not implemented throughout his life. It is a new and different direction for you. It is an offering, and what your energy is expressing is, “I am willing to incorporate a step to be more normal, to drop my defense and therefore allow the door to open.” And that is a significant step.
And what he is receiving from that is an encouragement to address to himself: If you can open the door, if you can let down those defenses and be vulnerable, then perhaps he is worth being vulnerable for. And therefore, that encourages him to be more interested in his own self-discovery.
TERRI: But it seems that he met with these people, and from what he was telling me, the lady was basically getting across a message of what trouble he was in, losing it, and that he needed so much help. And then he had to go see somebody else, and now it seems that they can’t help him there and now it’s up to him again to go search out other help, is the message that I’ve gotten.
ELIAS: Let me express to you, my friend – and I know you can understand this – when you begin this type of journey, it is difficult. And when you begin the journey into yourself, many individuals begin that not necessarily entirely objectively willing to change. There is a desire to generate that journey of self-discovery, but – as you are aware – desire is an underlying expression. And in that, the surface may be kicking and screaming in opposition to it for, as with you all in different capacities, you generate the tendency to cling to the familiar. Whether it is comfortable or not is not generally a factor; what is familiar is safe; you know what to expect; you know how to maneuver within the familiar.
Therefore, moving into new and unfamiliar is somewhat frightening and unnerving. And individuals do not always embrace that willingly, objectively. Even when the desire is enough to motivate you and to move you in the direction that you want to be generating this awareness and growth, and you want to be generating your freedom, moving into it can be challenging – and it is not unusual to present obstacles!
TERRI: (Laughs) So do you have a message of encouragement for him, or any advice?
ELIAS: My encouragement, first of all, would be that he is genuinely worth the effort, that he deserves his own attention and he deserves to express his own freedom and therefore comfort. He deserves to be comfortable, and he is not comfortable. That can also be translated as happy; he deserves to be happy. This is an important factor, for individuals do not always genuinely believe that they deserve to be happy.
I would also express to him to not be discouraged, that initially and surfacely it can seem to be discouraging or to be a setback if he is reaching out to other individuals and that is not necessarily being immediately reciprocated or responded to, but to know that that is not necessarily actually a discouraging expression, that the individual that he connects with in his journey of self-discovery and that he allows himself to share himself with, it is important that he trusts that individual. Therefore, he may present himself with several individuals before he discovers the one that he is comfortable with and that he trusts, to allow himself a vulnerability with.
And that is not to say that the other individuals are not adequate or equipped to be helpful to him or to address to issues with him or to encourage him. But – when an individual is setting upon this type of inner journey of self-discovery, it is important that they resonate with who they allow to participate with them. And every individual does not resonate with every other individual, regardless of their qualifications.
And in that, I would express the suggestion that he pay attention to how he feels with each individual that he encounters, for he may even come across an individual that would be a match or a fit with him, and his initial interaction may not necessarily appear to be entirely encouraging – which is not unusual, for he is accustomed to projecting an energy that pushes away. That is very familiar. He is accustomed to protecting and to shielding himself. Therefore, it may be necessary, if he discovers an individual that is not necessarily immediately receptive to him but that he feels comfortable with, it may be necessary for him to engage them more than once and to incorporate an aspect of determination to not be pushed aside or ignored.
For he is not merely engaging the other individual. He is engaging his own energy, which generally is being projected in that manner, to elicit that type of response. He is generating an energy to push away and to be ignored, for if you are being ignored, there is much less to judge. If individuals are not paying attention to you, they cannot be critical of you, and he is very accomplished at pushing away and encouraging other individuals to ignore or not pay attention. That is an automatic energy. Therefore, as I expressed, it may be necessary for him, when he does feel drawn to a particular individual, for him to push through his own barrier to connect.
Other individuals shuffling him around, in your terms, are merely responding to the energy that he is projecting. Therefore, what may be significantly important is for him to pay attention to how he feels in relation to each individual.
TERRI: All right. That’s very good. And he seems to be opening more and more to being receptive to your advice (laughs), so I think that’s very good. It’ll help him.
Is Curtis, is he moving anymore? Is he becoming more open, or…?
ELIAS: In this present time framework, I would express that it is much the same.
TERRI: The same. Yeah. Do I have him in a similar box, or…?
ELIAS: In a box, not the same type of box. I would express that you generate more of a concentration of expectations with this one than with that one.
TERRI: So the key here is to be more aware of letting people be who they are and not who I want them to be. Is that correct?
TERRI: So that’s my lesson for today. (Laughs)
TERRI: I feel like my eyes, I feel like the swelling’s gone down a lot, so am I more on a path to correcting my eyesight too? To the swelling going on behind my eyes?
TERRI: Is there a next step in that area?
ELIAS: All of what we have been discussing.
TERRI: Oh! Thank you.
ELIAS: And maintaining that aspect of relaxing with it. For I am aware with you, when you are engaging a new layer, you do incorporate a tendency to generate frustration, and you do incorporate a tendency to lose some of that relaxing and re-engage some tension, for you tend to express with yourself harshly. If you are not immediately accomplishing, you do incorporate that tendency to be somewhat harsh with yourself.
Therefore, I would be reminding you to be paying attention to your center, to be expressing relaxing with yourself, and for your priority to be maintaining balance.
TERRI: I feel the yoga’s helping me with that.
ELIAS: Yes. I would agree.
TERRI: I was very proud of myself for [inaudible].
TERRI: That was huge. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And how are you accomplishing?
TERRI: I think very well. I think very well. It allows me to really remind myself that I’m in this moment and there’s nothing else I have to do in this moment but relax.
ELIAS: Very well.
TERRI: And I am really enjoying that. And Sassy seems to have permanently moved into the neighbor’s house. (Laughs) Which did bother me at first, but it’s allowed me to look at other opportunities too, and I’m going to rescue another greyhound.
ELIAS: Very well.
TERRI: I thought maybe her being so adamant about being over there was also a type of permission to go ahead with that.
ELIAS: And expand.
TERRI: And expand.
ELIAS: You offered an expansion and an opportunity with that creature, and she has moved to offer you the opportunity to generate it again.
TERRI: It was [inaudible].
ELIAS: Therefore, it is a gift, and you can generate that opportunity again.
TERRI: I feel like the dog that I’m looking at, I was watching her play the other day and I almost feel like she may end up being a good match for Sassy to play with.
ELIAS: And therefore, you complete the circle. You offered that new opportunity for the one, she has moved and reciprocated and has opened another opportunity for you to engage that again, but you can continue to engage her in expressing a reciprocated gift in playfulness.
TERRI: Why does that make me cry?
ELIAS: For it is appreciation in genuineness – an appreciation of yourself, of what you do, of her, of them, and the wonder of how that enhances you and how it gives to you.
TERRI: That’s nice.
ELIAS: It is GLORIOUS. (Laughs)
TERRI: I felt so bad that Edward died in his cage. (Emotionally) There was just something so sad about it, that he never got to go to a home. Is he okay with that?
ELIAS: Now, it was a release.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
And in that, I would encourage you, my dear friend, not to grieve for what was not, but to celebrate what is.
TERRI: And where he is now? Okay.
Real quick, because our time is up. Is there any significance to where my house is leaking? That it’s in my kitchen and the back of the house?
ELIAS: And what would you express?
TERRI: Well, my first thought was I want to remodel the kitchen anyways and it was kind of permission to move forward with that. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Partially, yes. And also, that this signifies a center.
TERRI: The kitchen does?
ELIAS: For it is a symbol of self-maintenance.
TERRI: Is that why the candy bowl caught on fire in Mary’s kitchen?
ELIAS: Ah! (Terri laughs) Yes. This area of your home is the center of maintenance, the center of maintaining. It nurtures and maintains your focus, your body consciousness. Therefore, it is a symbol of maintaining. Therefore, in that symbol of the center, it can also be a symbol of, in a manner of speaking in your terms, breaking through.
TERRI: Oh! I like that. (Elias laughs)
All right. Well, our time is up. Thank you so much. This has been very good. I missed talking to you last week. (Laughs)
ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. As always, I express tremendous encouragement to you.
TERRI: Thank you.
ELIAS: Remember in all of these situations, in ALL of them, do not grieve what was, but celebrate what is.
TERRI: Okay. I will.
ELIAS: And I shall be anticipating our next meeting.
TERRI: Me too.
ELIAS: In great affection and in tremendous acknowledgment of your accomplishments, my dear friend, until our next meeting, au revoir.
TERRI: Au revoir.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 2 minutes)
Copyright 2011 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.