Overcoming Persecutors: How to Empower Yourself
Topics:
"Overcoming Persecutors: How to Empower Yourself"
"Non-Fight, Non-Flight"
"Changing the Energy of What You Trust"
"Mundane Interactions Ripple Out"
Friday, January 08, 2010 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Rose (Quillan)
ELIAS: Good evening!
ROSE: Hello, Elias. (Both laugh) This could be early afternoon in Mary's place. (Elias laughs) Okay, hi! Beautiful to talk with you, and to you, again. I would like to continue where we stopped the last time.
ELIAS: Very well.
ROSE: Very well. And shall I give you a hint, or do you want to continue from your own end?
ELIAS: We were discussing the situation of individuals in threatening situations, such as a child in a violent situation and what would that child do, or an individual in a situation such as with the Nazi groups, and being in violent or persecuting situations and how can that individual address to the situation, correct? [1]
ROSE: Yes, yes. When it is unable to protect itself or to run away or to...
ELIAS: Correct.
ROSE: … save himself, yes. And you spoke about reconnecting and about one thing, that even if it lasts only one second then that would be enough, that the child was as powerful as the others and so on. We want to continue here.
ELIAS: Very well. Now, in this, mind you: For the most part, as this has been a situation that has permeated throughout your history, the individual that would be in that situation lacks objective information. So therefore, THAT is the first factor, is offering information to individuals that they can USE to empower themselves and to address to a particular situation.
For, as we were discussing, these situations for the most part involve fear, and fear is a very powerful feeling. In that, it creates a very powerful energy also, and it is difficult to break through that energy, or override that feeling, without information.
Yes, individuals do already contain the information that is necessary to override such a powerful feeling and such a powerful energy, but whether the individual contains that information or not, if they are not aware of it objectively it is of little use, as you are aware. Therefore the first factor is presenting information to an individual that is useful to them.
Now, I am understanding that in some situations this would appear to be a significant obstacle, for in some situations it appears that offering information to an individual in this type of situation would be near impossible – but not entirely. And, as you all continue to expand your awareness and that ripples outwardly, this creates a situation in which offering information becomes less and less of an obstacle.
Now; the first factor of information beyond that moment, or that second, of realization that the individual is equally as powerful in their position as whatever it is outside of them that is oppressive to them, beyond that there are other factors that can be useful. For, an individual can actually recognize that they are equally as powerful to an outside source but also not objectively understand what to DO with that power, or how to use that power in their particular situation. Therefore, there is other information beyond merely recognizing that you are equally as powerful.
Now; one of the factors in these types of situations is being aware and using your own ability to assess what the persecutor is, such as in your examples [of] a Nazi that is violent and persecuting a woman that feels helpless, and the Nazi that is persecuting is expressing a dominant energy, therefore is using their power energetically and physically to dominate the woman, or in the situation of a child in which an adult is using their energy and their physical strength to dominate the child, and both situations being in a violent manner, or what you expressed as a cruel manner.
Now; in this, the individual that is the object of the victim, what is important in their position is to assess what the other individual is expressing. Now, it does not require understanding what the other individual's issue is. You and I can discuss the concept that the other individual that is persecuting is expressing that from their own issues, but IN the actual situation it may not incorporate time for that type of an evaluation – and that type of an evaluation is not necessary. It is not a necessity to know what the other individual's issue is, or therefore why they are doing what they are doing. What is more important is to assess WHAT they are doing and HOW they are expressing, and the reason that that is important is the factor of defusing.
Now; the manner in which you defuse a situation is to assess what the other individual is expressing and to simulate that you are agreeing with them - not that you actually are agreeing with them, but to invoke action as though you were agreeing with them.
Now; what this actually is, is an action of acknowledging the other individual.
Now; this also moves very much in conjunction and is very similar to what you and I discussed in a previous conversation when we discussing the subject of what is the key for an individual that feels themself to be in that dark place, or feels themselves to be helpless or hopeless and is very much discounting of themself and is feeling worthless. It is a very similar action, for in that situation, as I expressed to you, what is significant is that the individuals that are interacting with the afflicted individual, so to speak, [and know] that their role is important and that it is very important in their role to acknowledge the individual that is in the position of being afflicted, not to be expressing disagreement with them.
As you remember, if the individual is expressing guilt and expressing, "I am a terrible person, I have failed," in a manner of speaking it appears that the other individual may be agreeing with them. In actuality they are not necessarily agreeing; they are acknowledging, for rather than expressing, "No, you are not a terrible individual, no you have not failed, you incorporate these wonderful qualities and you do this, and you have accomplished in that" – rather than expressing in THAT manner, which generally appears to most individuals to be encouraging, which in actuality in those situations is not, but rather listening to the individual and acknowledging what they are expressing by interacting with them in a manner that appears to be agreeing with them, that creates defusing the situation. And in that, it moves the afflicted individual's attention back to themself in some capacity, but not in the same manner of discounting themself, for now they are being acknowledged, now they are being heard, and therefore it is not necessary for them to push and to convince the other individual of how terrible they are, for they have already been acknowledged.
In very similar manner, when an individual is being persecuted, so to speak, what is effective is to mirror that and mirror that energy – not match it, but mirror it to the individual that is persecuting; therefore, in a manner of speaking, agreeing with them, not necessarily actually agreeing but acknowledging.
The individual that is persecuting is expressing an energy and action that is saying, "I am more powerful than you. I am stronger than you. I am superior to you."
Now; what most individuals do automatically in these situations, you are correct, is either flight or retaliation – fight. Either they attempt to protect themself in the manner of run away, as you expressed, or they attempt to protect themselves by engaging and matching energy in fight. Both of those actions encourage the other individual. If you fight, you are encouraging the other individual, and you are essentially expressing to the other individual, "You incorporate a reason for doing what you are doing, and it is valid." That is the communication you are offering if you fight.
If you choose to run away, if you choose flight, what you are doing is encouraging the other individual in a different manner, for you are encouraging the other individual to chase; you are encouraging them to pursue. What you are saying in energy is, "Catch me!" Therefore, neither of those situations are very effective – but they are both very automatic. When you engage NEITHER of these actions but rather when you acknowledge the persecutor, the persecutor is left with no thing to convince. For that is what they are doing; they are attempting, and very often successfully, to convince the other individual that they are stronger, that they are more powerful, that they are superior. If that is acknowledged, you remove the factor of convincing.
Now, acquiescing to the individual is not acknowledging. Therefore, let us say the individual is angry and in that anger chooses to grasp a stick and approaches the other individual, let us say a child, with the stick, and raises the stick to whip the child with the stick. What the individual is doing is projecting themself and... (sighs) creating a billowing of their energy. In a manner of speaking, what they are doing is puffing up their energy to create the appearance of being larger physically than they are, which creates the illusion that they are more powerful.
In this, I am not expressing that the adult is not stronger physically than the child. For, that is obvious, yes; physically the adult IS stronger than the child. Energetically, the adult is NOT stronger than the child. The child's energy is equally as strong as the adult's; it is merely a manner of how it is directed. There are many adults that are quite afraid of children, dependent upon how the child expresses itself. It may be smaller, and it may not be as strong physically, but its energy is equally as strong, and it is equally as creative and inventive as any adult.
Now; in this, the first aspect is not to match energy but to create an energy that acknowledges what the other individual is doing: the other individual baring its teeth, [and] you acknowledge that its teeth are bared, not that they necessarily incorporate a bite but also not discounting that they cannot bite, but acknowledging what actually is, not what MAY be. "The teeth are bared," not "the teeth are bared and they may bite" – that is acknowledging what may be. That changes the energy, for that is an anticipation and an assumption. Whereas, what actually is occurring is the teeth are bared. Very well, they are bared; they are sharp; they are white; they are large - all of the factors that acknowledge what is actually occurring. "Your hand is raised. The stick is held. It is a large stick. Your muscles are strong. Your height is tall. Your energy is large": these are all acknowledgments, and they are not necessary to actually be voiced.
It is not necessary to express those comments to the individual with their hand raised with the stick ready to strike, BUT if the child is focused upon that acknowledgment of what is present before it, their actual physical countenance changes. Whether they are afraid or not, the fear does not project through their gaze. Their heart may be pounding and they may feel afraid, BUT if they are concentrating upon the acknowledgment of what is present before them and what the other individual is projecting, that fear does not translate through their gaze. What translates through their gaze is neutral. There is no fight, and there is no flight. Their gaze translates a neutral energy – which is not what the other individual wants, for it is not the payoff that the other individual wants. The other individual is engaging an action for a payoff, and the payoff is either a release of energy that they feel they cannot contain, or a release in energy in chase.
In this, there are some factors that you as humans incorporate that are not so dissimilar to other animals in your reality. The reason that prey animals in many situations become still and do not move is not that they are not frightened; they are, but that they instinctually know that flight encourages the chase, that the predator is triggered by the chase. Even if the child does not physically move, if they choose flight in fear without physically moving, it engages that energy of chase and, therefore, it engages the follow-through of the action.
Flight can be achieved without actually physically moving. Some individuals choose flight by removing themselves from their physical body consciousness. They project, and therefore they are not present within the body consciousness, but energy is translated, regardless of speech or movement, and the other individual, regardless that they translate into thought or not – which generally they do not – they receive that energy and they recognize the flight, and that triggers the chase, and therefore the pursuit continues. Whereas if there is no flight, and if there is no match in energy in fight, there is also no payoff.
This is not to say that the individual that is the persecutor, or the pursuer, may not follow through with their action of striking, but most likely they will not strike the child. They may follow through with the action of releasing that energy in some perceived violent action such as striking the stick upon on object and breaking it, or striking the stick upon a structure, a wall, or they may even strike themself. The action may continue, but the follow-through of the action will not hit the original target, for there is not payoff in hitting the original target. Therefore, in that moment, which merely requires literally a moment, a second, that is all the time framework that is required. And in that second, that energy becomes reconfigured. It is translated differently, it is received differently, there is an immediate recognition by the perpetrator that there is no payoff in this particular target, therefore the target will immediately change.
With the individual that is the woman in the situation of the scenario of the Nazi, the individual is generating the same action. They are puffing up their energy to be, or to appear, larger than they are; and in that, to be intimidating. And, in their intimidation, what they are translating, what they are attempting to do, is to appear stronger, more powerful and superior. And they choose an action of how to express that superiority and that strength.
If the individual that is the intended victim of that moves their attention to the acknowledgment of what the perpetrator is doing, the same action occurs. The payoff is diverted, for the follow-through of the intended target will not translate the payoff. That is immediately recognized. The frustration may continue, the anger may continue, the superiority expression may continue, but it will be redirected.
The key, as we spoke of in a previous conversation, in the situations is the objective information to not incorporate fight or flight, to stop for one moment and acknowledge, "My energy is as strong as yours." Whether you physically engage an action or not, it is not necessary to engage an action.
That is the first factor. The second factor also: It is not necessary to engage a physical action, but the second factor is acknowledging the perpetrator, therefore defusing its target.
Now, in this, it is a matter of individuals that do incorporate information to be expressing that in their own actions and therefore rippling that to the individuals that are not necessarily objectively aware of that information, for if an individual is not objectively aware of that information, it is not to say that they are lost, or that they are helpless. For, the information can translate regardless, and in that, the individual can respond to an impulse in the moment even without the objective information and engage the action even without objectively knowing what they are doing.
Therefore there are two actions that can be implemented to encourage support and be helpful in these situations. One action is to actually offer information, to express information and offer information to individuals that could potentially be in such situations, such as children: offering information and encouragement to children that they objectively know that they are equally as strong as any individual that appears to be larger than themself, whether it be a larger child or an adult.
The other action that individuals can engage is to be aware, and be paying attention, to what you are doing yourselves in all of your own situations, knowing that that ripples out and is affecting of other individuals. Whether they understand what is affecting of them or not, it is affecting. In this, it is a matter of paying attention to your own empowerment. And when you engage those actions of fight or flight and being aware that they do not accomplish what you think they accomplish, therefore in not engaging the actions of fight or flight, you change the energy, and that ripples out.
I cannot emphasize enough, or STRONGLY enough, how very REAL and how very STRONG and effective this rippling actually is, and how important it is. There are so very many actions that individuals engage in their daily experiences, in mundane actions, in daily interactions with other individuals that are unnoticed, that are not paid attention to, that are engaged with automatic responses that you generate so little importance with that are actually VERY important. A mundane action of an individual in a situation in which they are engaging another individual in their work environment, and perhaps in their work environment they incorporate a coworker that is somewhat aggressive: this individual may not be violent, and may not be incorporating the actions of cruelty, but may be in some capacities abrasive, or in some situations may be obnoxious, or may be aggressive, and perhaps not in a physical manner. And, as an individual interacting with that individual, your automatic choice may be to match energy with that individual, argue with them or express some manner that is directed to show the individual how they are wrong – fight energy. Or, you may encounter the individual and interact with them briefly and avoid them, or ignore them – flight energy.
ROSE: Yes. this is very clear.
Elias, I have a question.
ELIAS: Yes.
ROSE: What about an individual that has experienced traumatic encounters with the other person [already], like the child has been beaten many times, or the woman in the concentration camp has been raped, and the perpetrator comes again, and the child or the woman are not in the position to be feeling very strong but are in fear that there would be a repetition what has happened before? Could you speak about that aspect?
ELIAS: Yes. Now, this is somewhat more difficult, for this involves previous experiences. And the reason that this is more difficult is a trust factor. Although for the most part most of you direct your attention in a manner of identifying what you do NOT trust, what can be more damaging is what you DO trust, in some situations. And in relation to experiences, this is a factor that I included in our group interaction in the discussion concerning attachments. [2] For, experience is a very large factor of attachments, and you trust experiences. Therefore if you generate repeated experiences in similar manners, you begin to trust that the same action will occur in the same manner, and you begin to trust that so much that you do not believe that you can generate any different action.
In relation to THIS situation, it is not that each of you do not incorporate equally as MANY experiences that are contrary that you ALSO trust, but the difficulty is in relation to what you view to be positive and negative. What you view to be positive is easily overridden by what you view to be negative. Therefore, you may actually incorporate equally as many experiences in a positive manner and that you trust in a positive manner, but the negative experiences seem more obvious and more powerful. They are only more powerful for you concentrate upon them more.
BUT regardless, I am acknowledging of your question: In that situation, what can an individual do when they are anticipating a repeated experience, and they incorporate many experiences and therefore very strong associations that they already trust and therefore are already manifest and somewhat solidified within the individual? In these situations, (sighs) it is more difficult, for it is a matter of addressing to the aspect of trust in addition to the aspect of power and ability and energy.
The aspect of trust, once you have generated a strong reinforcement of a particular trust, is not as easy to dissipate, BUT it can be done. In this, it is a matter of momentarily – once again, none of these actions require expanded time frameworks – but momentarily pausing, and in the midst of trusting that experience, generating a slight interruption by questioning [yourself], "What if you are not present?"
Now; I am quite recognizing that that statement may seem contradictory to what I am always advocating to you in being present, but in actuality it is not contradictory. For in that, it is merely a matter of generating the momentary ability to express to yourself, "What if I am NOT present?" Even the question is enough to divert that energy, for you ARE being present in even expressing the question. In that, expressing the question changes how you can be present.
What you are doing in that is changing the energy of what you trust. Rather than concentrating upon the trust of the experience that you already know, you are diverting the attention and diverting the concentration into a new channel of trust. And you may not even objectively be aware of what direction that may produce, but it matters not. It is an instant of changing the concentration. The concentration is held very strongly with the experience and the trust of that experience. You believe it, you trust it. Therefore, the interruption is "I also believe that I can be not present," which you all are very accomplished at. In that moment, it is enough of a diversion to allow you to implement the other.
Without interrupting that trust – the concentration upon the trust of the experience – it is very difficult to enact the other action of acknowledgment, for the fear of the experience very much overrides, for you are trusting that. But if you can interrupt that trust even for a moment with a different trust, that allows you that moment, that second, in which you can alter the concentration into that neutrality, into the non-flight/non-fight. But before you can move into the non-fight/non-flight, it is necessary to divert from that trust factor. In order to divert from that trust factor you must incorporate another trust that is as equally as strong, another experience that is as equally as strong that you trust as much.
Which, it matters not what that other experience is.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
Let me express to you, my friend, the other experience that you trust equally as much can be as simple, as mundane, as "I trust that my body can and will urinate when it is necessary." It may be an action that mundane, and that unrelated – seemingly. "I trust that my heart beats" – and you do! It can be ANY experience, any action, any experience that you trust equally as much as you trust the present experience in fear.
Which, you do trust your body in certain functions, that it will generate certain functions consistently. Whether you are afraid, whether you are happy, whether you are sad, whether you are frustrated, whether you are hurried, whether you are paying attention, whether you are not paying attention, there are certain functions that you trust that your body will generate regardless of the situation, and you trust them entirely. Therefore it is merely a matter of generating that type of simple diversion into some other trust that is equally as strong. "I trust from my experience that this individual will strike me, will rape me and will hurt me, physically. It has occurred over and over, and I trust and I believe it will occur again." You also trust and believe that you will breathe, or that your heart is beating, or that your brain is thinking – even if it is not actually your brain that is thinking, but you trust that it is your brain that is thinking. You trust that your eyes see. There are many aspects of yourself that occur every moment in every day that you do trust very strongly. It is merely a matter of that one second of diverting the attention into the other trust to allow you to move into the other action, the not-flight, the not-fight.
And there is much more to this subject, my friend.
ROSE: I know! (Elias laughs)
ELIAS: Let us continue, and it is a powerful subject.
ROSE: Yes. That's true, Elias. And we will continue, as we have not covered it all yet.
ELIAS: (Laughs) I shall be greatly anticipating of this.
ROSE: Me too! (Elias laughs)
ELIAS: Remind yourself, for as you are already aware, this very much does relate and is associated to other conditions (chuckles), as we are both aware.
ROSE: Yes.
ELIAS: Therefore, remind yourself: No fight, no flight. (Both laugh)
ROSE: Thank you, thank you! I shall be greatly anticipating our next meeting.
ELIAS: And so shall I, in my own words. (Both laugh)
ROSE: Okay, thank you very much, and so until the next time, goodbye.
ELIAS: Very well, my friend. To you in tremendous encouragement as always, and in soft blue butterfly dream kisses, au revoir.
ROSE: Au revoir.
(Elias departs after 1 hour, 4 minutes)
[1] Session 2902 January 3, 2010
[2] Session 2867 October 24, 2009
Copyright 2010 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.