Session 2886
Translations: PT

Helping to Direct the Other Individual to their Key


”Helping to Direct the Other Individual to their Key”

Tuesday, December 1, 2009 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Rose (Quillan)

ELIAS: Good Evening.

ROSE: Good Afternoon. (both laugh) Hi… Elias…?


ROSE: What can you do when you have more questions, than time with Elias?

ELIAS: Ha ha ha. You discern which question are the most important to you and with the other questions you offer yourself a time framework in which YOU can address to them and therefore practising offering yourself the answer.

ROSE:I knew you would say that, how did I know? Ha ha ha. (both laugh)

Okay. In the last session we were talking about the “key”. And you said one word that touched me very much which was: ”deflate”, ”this will deflate”. I have been thinking about what you said. And I got pretty amazing responses (from other people) to this session. Many people have someone who’s desperately reaching out to the others or for the others and looking for a key. And I was pondering about this ’finding this genuine place in yourself where you really can confirm the perception of the other, not coming from a place, however subtle of: ”oh, he’s having his moment, or she’s having her moments.”
You know there are some…

When I was in this period of time, there was someone saying: ”yes exactly, yes exactly.” and I knew that was like rhetorical, like professional rhetorically, but it wasn’t really genuinely. Sometimes it is easy to understand and to find a lot of empathy, with someone who’s going through something which you know from your own experience. It is a little bit more challenging when someone is expressing something which is not so easy to find in yourself. It is more alien. I was thinking about asking you to give a little hint on, how to find this place, to come really from this genuine place to the other.

ELIAS: I would express that this is to be acknowledged and insightful of you to recognize that there are times in which - you may present to yourself another individual and their experience maybe very foreign to you and in those situations - if you do not incorporate any experience of your own, that you can find a similarity with, it does become difficult to generate that genuine connection with the other individual, but more so that genuine allowance with the other individual.
For you may find that you can genuinely connect with the other individual but as their experiences is so different and foreign from your own and you may not genuinely understand what their experience is, the automatic response that individuals generate, is, in a manner of speaking to dismiss it.

Now, when I express, dismiss it, I am not meaning that you would turn away from the other individual. Or not engage them, but there is an automatic action that occurs in which your own thought mechanism is searching for some similar experience to attach to what the other individual is experiencing and therefore attempting to generate any flicker of understanding. Even if it is a small amount of understanding. And if your thought mechanism cannot find some element to attach an understanding to, what occurs is the thought aspect of you dismisses the other experience. For it does not understand. And in that, what occurs is if you continue to engage the other individual, the feelings immediately move into position to assume the role of the thought mechanism. The thought mechanism could not generate an understanding, therefore now the feelings become engaged and they attempt to address to the situation from a different angle - through a feeling angle - which that may not generate an understanding either and therefore what occurs is, the individual automatically moves into the role of attempting to offer advice, or offer information, or fix.

ROSE: Uhm.

ELIAS: This is the reason that individuals do this so frequently. In a manner of speaking, it hypothetically is a matter of a chain of command. The thought mechanism is the first aspect of the chain of command. When that fails the feelings move into position. When they fail, then you automatically move into rational. And the rational reengages the thought mechanism, in a different manner; in a different capacity. Now the rational aspect of you is expressing: it is not necessary to understand; it is not necessary to incorporate all of the information, use the information that you have now and generate a solution.

But that is precisely what we were discussing in our previous conversation what individuals automatically do, and what is not helpful, and what is NOT helping to direct the other individual to their key. In this when you do not understand when you do not incorporate an experience that you can find a similarity with, that is the time framework to genuinely listen.

ROSE: Uhm.

ELIAS: To HEAR what the other individual is expressing, and while you are listening and hearing - to hear with more than your ears; to hear with your feelings. To hear with your empathic sense, to allow you to connect with the individual, regardless of whether you understand, but allowing yourself to connect with the other individual in an empathic manner. And in that, being continuously aware NOT to fall into automatic response of solutions and fixing for that is very easy to do. For the individual that is listening many times feels helpless.

ROSE: Sorry, the last part… The connection today is very bad and I’m missing some sometimes syllables of what you say and very often I can figure it out from the other part, but this, I couldn’t… So could you just repeat that.

ELIAS: Yes. What the other individual feels in this situations is helpless, and this is the reason that they auto move in the direction of a solution or attempting to fix. Or to advice.

This is the aspect that is very easy to fall into. And in that, requiring the individual to very much pay attention to recognizing that they do feel helpless, that they cannot fix the situation with the other individual but what they can do, and NOT to minimize it - which is also another auto response - is to genuinely listen to the other individual and what they are expressing in relation to their experience, and in that to acknowledge it. Not to advice, not to slip into the direction of expressing: “No that is not true.” Or “No, that is not the situation.” Yes, this IS the situation with the other individual and it is VERY real. And in that, to listen with your ears and with your feelings and in acknowledging the other individual - expressing an energy of safety.

If the individual that wants to be helpful and wants to be supportive, remembers no other aspect, the one most important aspect for them to remember is to express safety. IF the individual that is afflicted recognises and feels safe in expressing however they are to the other individual that is enormously significant, for if they feel safe they no longer feel that push to convince.

They feel accepted. They feel heard. And if they feel heard, that allows them to stop fighting with themselves. The fighting with themselves is what creates what we discussed in generating the matching of energy and the extremes. If the individual can stop fighting with themselves that allows the body consciousness to move more naturally. It allows the body consciousness to express its own roll more effectively, and the body consciousness (can?) begin to implement relaxing. Not entirely, and in increments; but it will begin to relax.

And as it begins to relax the individual begins to express less of this constant circle of threat and discounting and devaluing. In that, as the supportive individual continues to listen, continues to not fix, continues to express that energy of safety that regardless of what is expressed you are safe; you can express however you choose and you are safe with me.

In that it changes the energy of the individual that is so conflicted and it allows them to begin to see that they can reach their key. It also allows them to stop focussing so much in their own thoughts that they cannot see or hear any other expression or any other direction. And at that point the supportive individual, can begin to share. Not advice, not fix, but they can begin to share and the other individual can begin to hear that sharing. Which is helpful, in allowing them to see their key.

But the MOST significant element initially and this may incorporate some time, it may not generate an immediate effect, in a change so to speak, it does generate an immediate effect in energy, but it may not generate an immediate change. But in that, the most important action that the outside individual can do is to genuinely be supportive by being safe, and by listening.

Let me express to you my friend. Even an individual that is very intent upon an action of suicide, if that individual is presented with another individual that is not attempting to dissuade them, that is not expressing to them, “Do not do this”, that is not offering them all the reasons that they should not engage suicide, if that individual is presented with an individual that expresses an acceptance of that, that acknowledges that, that expresses that they are accepting, that this is a choice and that they are acknowledging of you, that you are that desperate; when that desperation is acknowledged, there is much more of a willingness of the individual that intends to be generating suicide to stop.

And to actually engage rather than disengage. For generally speaking most individuals - not all, but most - that entertain the idea of suicide do not actually want to disengage. They want to be heard. They want to be acknowledged. And they feel very strongly that they are not being acknowledged, that they are not understood, that they are not being heard and therefore they themselves do not matter. And in not mattering, if they were not present, all the other individual around them, would be better off. All the other individuals would be happier, all the other individuals would be more content. They would be less bothered, they would be less confortated. And the individual is very much convinced of that idea and therefore it becomes very real.

It is very real to that individual therefore it is ludicrous to attempt to convince them otherwise for they are already convinced of what they believe to be absolutely true. And in that, as I’ve expressed many times, what you believe in a moment you trust implicitly, and in these situations the individual trusts implicitly how valueless they are; and how bothersome and burdensome they are, and no amount of convincing will actually be successful for they are already convinced and it is already very real. In this, when you’re acknowledging the individual, they recognize almost immediately, that it is not necessary for them to convince you any longer. And that it is not necessary for them to fight.

Now; in this, understand: I’m NOT expressing that were you to be confronted with an individual that is expressing they want to generate suicide, they want to kill themselves, and that they feel that they are completely valueless, I’m NOT expressing that you agree with them, and express to them: “Yes, you’re right. You have no value and yes, this is the right action for you to engage; to generate suicide and kill yourself.” No, that is not helpful either for that merely discounts the other individual in addition to what they’re already discounting with themself. That is equally as discounting as expressing to the individual: “Oh, no, you are very valuable; Oh no, there’s no reason for you to feel guilt.”

They’re both discounting. What is not discounting is to acknowledge the other individual, that this is what they feel; that this is very real for them, and that whether you understand what they’re feeling or not, that you acknowledge that and that they are safe with you.

ROSE: I understand. Elias, the connection is very, very bad and I don’t know what to do. I think I have understood the most; I mean I … heard the most and I understood what you said most (inaudible) but I hope that the record on Mary’s end will be available and hopefully it will be better than mine.

I am now in a … position. I have (since) a long, long (while) a question in the back of my mind running, it is not about me, it is in general and I have so many questions about myself but also have these other questions and this (one) other question so much fits in a way to what we have been talking about in these last two sessions, so I am very tempted to ask it now, but then I have not addressed my own topics. I am a little bit …
Ah, I ask you and feel very much like, maybe it will all work out.

What can an individual that has a lot of problems, say, from a difficult upbringing or whatever traumatic experiences and so on, but has no access to therapy and so on; what can this individual do without support of a therapist or whatever, to ease their pain and to heal their wounds, you know, to move on. Elias, a lot of what you’ve said in our last two sessions addresses to it all already but there is something left. That’s why I want to ask this question now.

ELIAS: Within themselves, without the interaction of any other individuals, in these confused and dark position what the individual can begin to do, first of all, is to genuinely pay attention to each moment…

ROSE: I don’t hear anything. The phone is silent on my end. Can you repeat … that what the individual can do …?

ELIAS: … Is to generate in each moment with themself the recognition of that very moment and no other moment. That in this One Minute, “I am NOT engaging what happened before”. Guilt comes from before; guilt is an expression, regret is also an expression. That is generated in relation to what is past. Individuals do not feel guilty or regret in a moment, they feel guilty or regret when they recall an action…

ROSE: Yes.

ELIAS: …Therfore the first step is, to genuinely merely allow themselves to stop and feel that very moment – that minute, that second. And to express to themselves – not merely in thought, but actually say to themselves in words, in an actual physical action: “In this minute that is not occurring; in this minute I am NOT engaging any of those actions that I regret or that I feel guilt in relation to. In this minute what am I doing? Not what will I do, not what did I do – in this minute what am I doing? I am sitting; I am standing; I am walking; I am eating, whatever I am doing in this minute, to acknowledge what I am doing and to express to myself: “Is what I am doing in this very minute hurtful to any if other individual? No. Unless the individual in that minute is engaging an act of murder or violence, which, they would not incorporate the thought process to ask themselves that question.

But, if the individual is conflicted and in that dark position in relation to past experiences that have accumulated and the individual is regretful and feeling guilt, they can stop and pay attention to what they are doing in that minute and acknowledge that in that minute they are not engaging any hurtful action to any other individual, and that is ONE step.

Now; I would also very much advocate that, if the individual is extremely conflicted, if the individual is in that position of such darkness, to allow themselves to risk and dare to reach out to another individual for, generally speaking, when an individual is that conflicted, it is very difficult for them to alter that alone. It can be done but it is very difficult, and in those situations, when an individual is that conflicted, what they want and what they require the most IS connection. For that is what they are feeling they’re lacking the most of all. Therefore I would highly suggest and advocate that an individual risk reaching for another individual.

ROSE: Yes, and what if an individual or a person doesn’t feel guilty or so but feels like being the victim because it has been abused in whatever kind and feels very exposed and helpless and barely made it, to survive, emotionally, maybe physically even… and is very traumatized. There is so much trouble and pain on this world and not everyone, or each one has access to therapy and this is something that has been going through my mind very very often. So …

ELIAS: Yes, that is correct.

ROSE: So what would you say to this?

ELIAS: Yes, that is very correct. That is correct, that not every individual bails themselves of that and there are individuals that have engaged experiences that are very dangerous and very hurtful and, in that, have become victims and are unaccustomed to be anything but a victim. In that what I would express, and this may seem unusual in your terms but for that individual my suggestion would be that they find or discover a creature, for they already incorporate a tremendous lack of trust, of themselves and of other individuals and they already very steeped in the role of being the victim and the most healing action that these individuals can offer to themselves as a gift is to allow themselves the simple action of connecting with an animal. (when Elias said the word animal his voice was very beautiful to me)

ROSE: Connecting… And then what did you say?

ELIAS: With an animal.

ROSE: (repeating) With an animal.

ELIAS: Your creatures, your creatures in your reality are ultimately accepting; they do not judge, they do not fix, they do not advise; they accept and they love. And in that they are very healing and they are safe. They provide an energy of safety without talking. Therefore, the most greatest gift that one of these individuals that you speak about, an abused individual, a confused individual, a victim individual can offer to themselves is the simple and the safe connection with an animal.

ROSE: Very good, very good, very good. I hope I get the whole record.
(I want to) stop at that moment, listen to it –I will then I have it all together – and (now) I will give myself a little time… addressing my own topics.

I have something in my tooth going on and it is, there’s a hole and I said to my body consciousness: “You can heal that, you can do it, you can deal with it”. I would like to have a little “Dr’s Check” on it about it, from your end: How’s it going? Am I playing with dangerous things or if (whether) I can just continue like this without bringing myself in trouble. …

ELIAS: Let me express to you my friend, there are many actions that you can do and that you can accomplish; the more significant question is: Will you? Not necessarily “Can you?” Can you heal your tooth? Yes. Will you necessarily heal your tooth yourself? That is an entirely different question.

ROSE: I didn’t hear it. Sorry, can you repeat it?

ELIAS: I expressed, will you actually heal your tooth yourself? That is an entirely different question. And I would express that yes, you can; will you? It is less likely.

ROSE: Hmm. But Elias, Elias, Elias, Elias, Elias! (laughs) Okay. Here I am, wanting to cure my spine, wanting to change my spine (I wanted to continue saying, well if I cannot manage to heal my tooth, then what about the much bigger challenge of the spine, but Elias interrupted me intensively)

ELIAS: Yes, precisely. Your attention is much more directed to what you perceive to be much bigger challenges. A challenge, in your perception, as small as a tooth, which you also know objectively that you incorporate several different avenues that you could address to with the tooth and that in that you incorporate choices with your tooth and the tooth although it may be somewhat of an annoyance, is not a physical manifestation that you deem to be extraordinary challenging and not one that you also deem to be of extraordinary important, for you do know that you do incorporate several different choices and directions to address to it; therefore, this is not a type of manifestation that you would necessarily concentrate upon and that you would necessarily engage the type of energy that would be required to heal it alone. This is not unusual my friend. This is very much not unusual. Individuals incorporate this question very frequently: “Why can I address to a significant malfunction or dis-ease within my body consciousness and heal that and I cannot heal a small dysfunction or situation with my body consciousness? It is actually quite simple. The manifestation that you deem to be very challenging and difficult you also deem to be one that you alone can change; that there are no other options, that there are no other choices, that there are no other directions that you can engage, therefore, it is a matter of you devoting your attention to that particular manifestation BUT, when it is a situation in which it is – in your estimation – a smaller manifestation, in which there are other options, there are other choices, there are directions that you can engage, that it is not a situation where only you can change this manifestation it is not as important and it may be an annoyance and you may want to change it but it does not elicit as much of your attention as a situation that you view that you incorporate no other choice. Therefore I express, would express again; yes, you can alter it, you can heal it yourself. I would also express, it is less likely that you will, for your attention is much more concentrated upon the larger challenge.

ROSE: Okay, Elias, I understand that and it is all logical. But… (Elias laughs) …(she is laughing also) There is also a different angle, of a point of view, where you can say: “Okay, Elias is always saying: “ relax, allow yourself your free flow” and this is the easiest way to manifest money, be it… I put words in your mouth now, you know… (Elias laughs) and I may be I am utterly wrong but this is how I understand you. So for me, and it is a lot about this: coming to this place, or being and dwelling in this place of being relaxed about things, because I have had experiences where I had one time expressed or noticed a deeper longing (about something) in myself and years later it manifested … (Elias says yes) and now I have this thing with my tooth and there is something going on with my eyes, similar. When I say: “Okay, body consciousness! Hey! You get the order now, here is your playground – do with it, what you like; but make it! J And this is it, why should I engage it with the same intensity like the spine …

ELIAS (interrupts vividly): No, no, no! Yes, I agree with you. No it is not addressing to with the same intensity. You are Quite correct in that. It i s a matter of, yes, you CAN alter the situation with your tooth. And if you allow yourself to generate what you’re expressing now, that you are allowing - you are not generating a concentration upon the annoyance, you’re not placing a significant importance upon what you do not want or what you dislike with it, yes, that would alter the potential and that would generate an avenue in which you could alter the manifestation in the tooth much more easily and it would create more of a likelihood that you would change that and that you would heal it. If you are actually moving in the direction that you are expressing, of allowance and a free flow and not concentrating upon what you do not want and what you do not like…

ROSE: The point is; we have to hurry, and I have two brief questions; when you are a gardener, and you put your seed into the soil and you water it, and … you do what a gardener does. (Then) you don’t go every day and put away the soil and see what the seed is doing. You leave it alone. …


ROSE: And by and by you see there is something growing…


ROSE: or not.


ROSE: When you do something with a tooth then you equally leave it alone. But you sometimes are not quite sure if what you are doing works and if what you are doing is not running you right into trouble. This is the little challenge and well, uhm …. ?

ELIAS: Yes, I agree and this is what I was been expressing previously. In this, in the direction that you choose, if you are genuinely trusting, in similar manner to your seed, I would express, yes, then you incorporate more of a likelihood that you would alter the manifestation and you would heal it. If you are planting that seed and doubting whether you planted it correctly, or whether it is growing or whether it is being successful or not you alter the energy and the likeliness of your success diminishes. The more you allow and trust your body consciousness, that it does know how to heal itself, that it does not require constant instruction, that you know that it does have the ability to do this and you allow that and you trust it, yes, then you also change the potential and you generate much more of a likelihood that you WILL heal it.

ROSE: That was what I was asking. Like a check from Doctor Elias if I’ve reached this relaxed state, or if I am not yet there.

ELIAS: I would express, in your terms, you’re almost in that position.

ROSE: Good, good, good, good. We have a little (time) left, Elias, I don’t know if Mary, or how Mary did set the clock, so I would ask the stats for Gennie, this is a person I don’t know, she says she would like her stats and the final focus (question answered) She seems to be a poor person, with only access to a computer an hour per week. He or she showed up on the soft list.

ELIAS: And are there impressions?

ROSE: No, there’s nothing. I don’t even know if this is a female or a male person. It is G e n n i e.

ELIAS: Very well. Essence family, Vold; alignment, Tumold; orientation, Intermediate; Focus Type, Emotional; yes, final focus …

ROSE: wonderful.

ELIAS: Essence name, Avalon. (Elias spells it out)

ROSE: Good… Next question is for Ann, did she fragment from more than one essence?


ROSE: Okay. Thanks. Togi wants to know: Did I present myself all sides of the winning and did I release the fear of my essence power enough to install/insert the action now …

ELIAS: Almost.

ROSE: Almost…

ROSE: Another question for Togi, (but this I need to fill in from my notes, it is inaudible on this record due to Mary’s timer.)

ELIAS: IN what capacity?

ROSE: I don’t know. If it doesn´t make sense to you, then it does to me even less. (Elias laughs)

ROSE: Okay, Elias, one last question for myself. Did I ever meet you physically and didn’t notice you?

ELIAS: Not entirely physically but my energy superimposed with a physical individual.

ROSE: Ahah! … (again something I need to fill in from my own record. On my end, I can hear what I say but this time barely what Elias said, so it is good that there are these two recordings.)

ROSE: Okay, okay, okay. I still have so many questions left.

ELIAS: You’re very welcome, my friend. As always, tremendous encouragement, I shall be greatly encouraging to you with your tooth. (laughs)

Rose (laughs) Rascal. (laughs)

ELIAS: And I express tremendous supportiveness in your direction, my dear friend, in great affection and in genuine lovingness to you. Au revoir.

ROSE: Au revoir.

Copyright 2009 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.