Tuesday, December 9, 1997      © 1997  (Private)
Participants:  Mary (Michael), Vicki (Lawrence), Julie (Lanyah), and Gail (William).  (Julie is Sumafi, aligned with Ilda and Sumari)
Vic's note:  Rather than notate the entire transcript, I'm just going to state that Elias was quite affectionate and tender throughout this session.  Also, there were many "pregnant pauses" during which many silent words were expressed and much energy was exchanged.
Elias arrives at 7:21 PM. (Time was fifteen seconds)

ELIAS:  Good evening!  (Smiling)

JULIE:  Hi, Elias!

ELIAS:  Welcome once again, Lanyah!

JULIE:  I haven't seen you in a while!  I have some questions, and I wrote them down 'cause I'm kind of absent-minded and I forget.  I've been having some problems.  I have some drawing that I have to do for my job, so to speak, and I can't like motivate myself to do it, and I think I kind of know why, but I'm kind of like looking for ... I don't know.  It's giving me some problems.

ELIAS:  Ah, the age-old problem with temperamental artists!  There are many sayings connected with artistic personalities, many of which are quite accurate.  They are in one sense connected with individual belief systems, but they are also true to the individuals.  I have known many artists in my time, (grinning) which they hold many qualities in common!

The belief system involved is that which dictates to you that you are not creating from your own free expression and being true to yourself if you are being requested to be creating of an element from someone else's imagination.  Therefore, the individual creating, such as yourself, believes that they are being stifled within their creativity and their own expression, for they are being told what is to be created, and they may hold a different idea of the expression.  One individual may express to you, "I shall offer you monetary gain if you are creating a dog for me.  I wish it to look like this."  YOU wish it to look a different way, but you have been commissioned.  Therefore, you hold the belief system that your creativity is being stifled.  It matters not!  You may create the image for another individual in the manner that they request, and you may create the same image once again in the manner that YOU wish to express.  You limit yourself.  You do not only hold one picture within you!

JULIE:  Well, that might be true, but it's kind of hard 'cause I have to work with someone else's way of doing something, someone who I respect very much, and it's hard for me to kind of do what I want, or to do what I think I'm supposed to do.  Do you know what I mean?

ELIAS:  Express from within you.  Do not be afraid to be expressing your own creativity.  You may be surprised at the response!

JULIE:  That's true.  I can't say that I've ever tried.  How do I motivate myself to do what it is I've chosen to do?

ELIAS:  By moving beyond your fear.  You hold fearfulness of yourself and your worth and your adequacy, that your expression may not be measured adequately to others, for you do not afford yourself the acceptance of your worth.  Therefore, you do not believe that others shall accept your worth either.  In moving beyond your fear and acknowledging of yourself and accepting of yourself, you shall also be motivating of yourself.

JULIE:  Well, I've felt like I've done that to a certain extent.

ELIAS:  But not entirely.

JULIE:  Yeah, I guess.  I always seem to run into the same problems, but before I do, I always believe that I've figured it out.

ELIAS:  May you express to yourself, within honesty, that you are worthy?

JULIE:  Can I SAY that?  Is that what you mean?

ELIAS:  Correct.

JULIE:  I don't know....

ELIAS:  May you express to yourself that your creativity equals Rembrandt?

JULIE:  No.

ELIAS:  But it does!  It is merely a different type of expression, but it is equally as perfect.  Monsieur Rembrandt was not expressing of his worth either, and comparing himself to other individuals of his time period.  It is quite common within this type of expression.  Musicians also experience this same....

JULIE:  I've noticed.  I spend a lot of time with musicians!

ELIAS:  ... and do not view their own worth, and instead of accepting self, they, as you, are comparing.

JULIE:  I'd like to think that I would do okay if I just did something!  Do you know what I mean?  But I just can't seem to do it.  And I want to, 'cause I know that once I get past it I'll be able to do my own stuff, but it's just like ... I just compare it to work.  Do you know what I mean?  Rather than just enjoying what I'm doing.

ELIAS:  This word within your language, work, holds very much emotion and belief systems!  Its very sound creates a negative connotation within your expressions.  I suggest it be replaced with fun!

JULIE:  Yeah, me too!

ELIAS:  "I am going to fun today!"  And if you are not going to fun today, do not go.  Express from yourself.  Allow yourself the freedom to be expressing from yourself.  It matters not how others perceive what you are expressing. I express to you, once again, that you worry much too much!

JULIE:  Maybe.  I don't know.  I just have expectations for myself.

ELIAS:  Quite!

JULIE:  And I don't see the point of not achieving what I want to do, you know?

ELIAS:  How shall you be better than you are?  You exist within this present now, and you shall always exist within this present now.  Therefore, accept yourself within this present now, for it IS your own perfect expression NOW.  As you are anticipating futurely, you are denying now.  (Pause)

JULIE:  Well, that helps.  I just don't know what to do, you know?

ELIAS:  BE NOW.  You express within your language of future.  I express to you, there is no future.  All is present and shall always be present.  When your future comes, it shall be present!  Therefore, do not preoccupy yourself with the "better" or the future, but concern yourself with the now, which is all that is.

JULIE:  Okay. It gets me in trouble though, because then I just start doing whatever I want to do and I don't do anything, you know?

ELIAS:  Be remembering, be accepting of your own expression and not bowing to the expectations of other individuals.

JULIE:  Yeah, but they're not just other people's expectations.  They're my expectations too.  I wouldn't do it if I didn't have the same sort of goals for myself that they do.  Do you know what I mean?

ELIAS:  For you view yourself within the now as inadequate.  Therefore, you hold expectations of yourself, for you bow to the belief systems of other individuals.

JULIE:  Yeah, but I kind of have to be accepting of that because that's the environment that I work in.  I have to work with other people.  I can't just do whatever the hell I want.  I won't be able to work with others, and that's kind of like my business.

ELIAS:  You may be accepting of other individuals and also be accepting of yourself.  You have forgotten the accepting of self element.

JULIE:  Well, I do accept ... I know that eventually, I'll get to do whatever it is that I feel in the way that I want to do it, but right now, I can't.

ELIAS:  Why?

JULIE:  'Cause I need help, 'cause I don't know everything.

ELIAS:  You may begin, and be accepting of your beginning.  But as you are not accepting of yourself, you limit yourself and you do not begin.  (Pause, and then speaking firmly)

You may stand at the base of the mountain, and you may look to the mountain and you may express to yourself, "I must climb the mountain.  My goal is to reach the peak."  But as you continue to stand at the base of the mountain, you shall never reach the peak!  As you continue to express to yourself, "I am doubtful that I may climb," you continue to stand.  But as you allow yourself to not be limited by your fear, you may step and you may begin the climb.  And in climbing, you may be forgetful of the peak, for the climb shall be more important than the accomplishment, for the climb IS the accomplishment.  It is the experience.  But as you deny yourself the experience, you also block your intent and create your own conflict.

JULIE:  I see.  (Beginning to cry)

ELIAS:  I offer much affection to you Lanyah, and although you are not believing, I am with you always.

JULIE:  I know that.  I can tell.  I think about you all the time.

ELIAS:  I am aware!

JULIE:  Cool.

ELIAS:  You are merely not listening all the time!  (Smiling)

JULIE:  I know.  I'm kind of out there sometimes.  I've got another question.  Okay, what's this relationship with Janis Joplin?

ELIAS:  You have tapped empathically to an element of a world view, one that reinforces your own feelings.  You are quite adept at reinforcing your own feelings and your own fears.  This individual, within the deposit of energy of world view, has also inserted the feelings and viewpoints of fearfulness and uncertainty of self to be examined by others; those so choosing to be tapping into this world view of this particular reality.  In this, you have tapped an element of this world view that affords you a reinforcement of your own feelings and fears in very similar manners.  Therefore, you FEEL a connection to this individual.  You have merely tapped an energy source that offers you more of a reasoning to be allowing yourself to stand at the foot of the mountain instead of climbing.

This also is a tapping into a world view for a nurturing effect.  At times, individuals within physical focus look to another or an energy source that holds similar qualities to themselves.  You do this within physical focus, for within your belief systems you view yourselves to be isolated and alone.  You long for the nurturing of another, one that may completely understand your soul, for you view that no other individual may completely understand your soul, for you are so very separated and so very different and so very singularly individual!  Therefore, how may it be that any other individual may understand the deep recesses of yourself?

JULIE:  I left the door open!  The door is open.  I'm not totally closed!

ELIAS:  Partially.

JULIE:  Partially, yeah.

ELIAS:  Therefore, you reach to another energy that may offer you this nurturing and understanding of your depths of yourself, and you view the commonality, and you offer yourself this gift.  But the gift also brings, within your emotions within physical focus, sadness, for you may not touch it.  It is removed from you.  It is just beyond your reach.  How appropriate!  Offering yourself another element just beyond your reach!

JULIE:  What can I say?

ELIAS:  You are quite consistent!

JULIE:  Yeah!  So where the hell is Dave??  (Laughter)

ELIAS:  Express to me!

JULIE:  Express to you?  I don't know!

ELIAS:  You do know!  (Chuckling)

JULIE:  Like where he's at physically?

ELIAS:  And otherwise.

JULIE:  I don't, though!

ELIAS:  Ah, but you do!

JULIE:  Well then, you tell me what I know! (Laughter)  I don't know!

ELIAS:  This also enters the area of your own acceptance of yourself, for as you are entering your own acceptance of YOU, other individuals -- (humorously) certain individuals within particular -- shall also be affected.  (Pause)  As you are not accepting of you, you are also influencing within your energy and pushing other individuals away.  You desire to be pulling closer, and in actuality, you are pushing.

JULIE:  I know.  It's like I ... hmm.

ELIAS:  Within you, you desire to be knowing and accepting yourself.  You desire this action, and in this, subjectively and partially objectively, you preoccupy yourself with self, which is not bad.  But you misunderstand, and within your thought process you view that you have little time for any other element.  Therefore, without a thought process you project energy to be pushing away, which is received and responded to.  It is a situation of:  "I am busy!  Do not bother me presently.  I shall concern myself with you at another time period.  Presently, I am occupied with issues of grave importance of myself!"  Although you do not hold this thought process, your energy is projected in this manner. Therefore, another individual is responding and acknowledging, "Very well.  I shall be aloof and be waiting until you are not occupied."

You also hold, very many of you, the belief systems of intimacy and closeness.  You hold belief systems that you are separated.  You are singular, individual entities.  You walk about in different bodies.  Therefore, you are separated.  This creates fertile ground for belief systems in the area of relationships.  You hold fearfulness of closeness to another individual.  There are many belief systems attached in this one area: fearfulness of a loss of your own identity, of your own direction; fearfulness of hurtfulness.  You hold very many belief systems in the area of the emotion of love and affection.  This may be wondrous, but it looms more obviously as dangerous and hurtful; and as you continue to not be accepting of self, you also reinforce the belief systems that others shall not be accepting of you either.  A very large belief system!
It has been stated within your religious element that you must be loving of yourself or you may not be loving of another individual.  Very good words of wisdom to be creating a point, but also a belief system.  In reality, it is expressing to you that if you are not accepting of yourself, you will not ALLOW yourself the acceptance of others for yourself.  Other individuals respond to your energy.  You may hold your secrets, but individuals respond within energy.  They may not objectively realize WHY you are projecting your energy, [but] subjectively they do.

JULIE:  I'm curious to your response about something that went on with my friend Daniche.  Do you know what I'm talking about?

ELIAS:  You may express!

JULIE:  The night that he stayed over at my house, and we did sort of a meditation together.  (Pause)

ELIAS:  This individual offers a different objective expression as a mask.  I wish not to be violating the expression of the individual, but I may express to you also that it is an illusion, if you are understanding.  What is presented is not in actuality what is.

JULIE:  Yeah.  Well, that was sort of the way that I took it too.

ELIAS:  The individual creates a very creative camouflage, but I may express to you a cautioning in allowing yourself to be deluded within the illusion, for it is an illusion.

JULIE:  Yeah, I was aware of that, but it didn't necessarily affect the reasons for me needing to do that.

ELIAS:  You may be connecting and offering yourself the experience and the safety of closeness without being deluded by the illusion.  There is safety within the connection.  It offers you elements of the connecting objectively and closeness that you are seeking, but do not allow yourself within other areas.

JULIE:  Yeah, I do that.  (Pause)  I have a connection for the game.  Under clichés, "Variety is the spice of life," with Sumari.

ELIAS:  One point!

JULIE:  Thank you.

ELIAS:  Enter this!  Be listening to your own cliché!

JULIE:  (Laughing)  Okay!

ELIAS:  And apply this to yourself, for you hold wondrous variety!

JULIE:  Okay.  I'm looking for ways to motivate myself creatively.  I know that it all has to do with the belief system of not trusting self, but I can't seem to ... I know that I used to be very motivated creatively and I don't feel different so much than I was then, but I have a hard time finding what it is that motivated me in the first place.

ELIAS:  You!  You are having difficulty finding you.

I shall offer to you also, look to your dream state.  This may be temporarily helpful to you.  You may allow yourself less limitation within your dream imagery, and this may serve you as a temporary step in moving your little feet up one step of your mountain.  And I also shall be interactive and helpful to you within your dream state.

JULIE:  Okay.

ELIAS:  I shall offer you one element of information that I have not offered previously, for I have been watching, that you may be connecting yourself, but you are not, objectively.

You hold a counterpart action which also is influencing.  You and the counterpart are blocking yourselves in your creative expressions, and you are influencing of each other and therefore creating more of a thickness.  Now express to me!  Who be this counterpart?

JULIE:  Just say the name that comes to my mind?  Johnny?

ELIAS:  One, but this is not the counterpart of which I am expressing to you.  (Pause)  Siman.

GAIL:   Whoa!  That blows me!

JULIE:  Who's that?

GAIL:   Your dad!

JULIE:  Oh!

ELIAS:  You are each lending energy to each other within your blocking.  Be considering of this, for it is affecting of you both.

We shall break, and you may continue with your questioning if you are so choosing.  (Smiling)

JULIE:  Okay.

BREAK   8:14 PM
RESUME  8:27 PM

ELIAS:  Continuing.

JULIE:  Okay.  I was kind of talking to Vicki and seeing how it might be helpful to have someone else's energy in mind, I guess, when I'm drawing, like my dad, who we were talking about.  I don't know exactly how, but if it can be helpful to me, I'd like to know how.  I'm having a hard time kind of seeing the relationship.

ELIAS:  Connect with the energy of your counterpart, and allow a free flow.  In this, you may also allow yourself new inspiration.

JULIE:  Okay.  I'm kind of curious as to what it's going to be like working with Johnny now that we're going to be apprenticing together.  That's kind of a weird situation.  I'm hoping that it will be helpful rather than a distraction.

ELIAS:  This is dependent upon YOUR choices!

JULIE:  Yeah.  I'm okay with it, but I still think about it every once in a while.

ELIAS:  Be concentrating upon self and not your distractions.

JULIE:  I'm not so much any more.  (Pause)  That was an interesting sort of triangle, whatever that was!  A square, an octagon?  (Pause)  But I can sort of see why I do those things to myself.

Vic's note:  I'm not sure what Julie was referring to here.

ELIAS:  In creating your diversions and not being bored!

JULIE:  That's for damn sure!  It takes a lot to get my attention!  (Elias chuckles)  You know?

ELIAS:  Quite!  A flare for the dramatic!

JULIE:  Yeah.  (Pause)  I'm not really thinking of anything else.

ELIAS:  As I have stated, I offer you much affection, and shall be with you in your endeavor of your climb.  Within your mundane activity, connect with the energy of your counterpart.  Use your empathic sense and you may also temporarily discover your inspiration, until you may find your own inspiration within yourself.

JULIE:  I'll take all I can get!

ELIAS:  Also view, each moment is merely an experience.

JULIE:  I do that.

ELIAS:  Very well.  I offer to you much lovingness.

JULIE:  It's definitely returned.

ELIAS:  And you may be connecting with the deceased in a more satisfying, objective manner ...

JULIE:  And what might that be?

ELIAS:  ... than merely a world view!  (Grinning)

JULIE:  Okay.

ELIAS:  For THIS deceased may speak to you!  (Chuckling)  I shall be visiting you within your dream state as you are investigating and re-establishing your connection to you and your remembrance of you, and I shall be offering helpfulness to you.

JULIE:  Okay, thank you.

ELIAS:  For this evening, I affectionately bid you adieu.

JULIE:  Adieu.

Elias departs at 8:36 PM.

© 1997  Vicki Pendley/Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved

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Copyright 1997 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.