Looking at Yourself in Relation to Your Parents
Topics:
“Looking at Yourself in Relation to Your Parents”
“Paying Attention to Yourself and Making Different Choices”
“Rebuilding Relationships”
“An Area of Enchantment and a Portal”
Sunday, May 10, 2026 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Anon X
ELIAS: Good evening,
ANON X: Good midday. Hello. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: (Laughs) How should we proceed this fine day?
ANON X: Mm-hm. We proceed where we left, which is my mother and these two persons, people that I mentioned, and when you said, sometimes when people sense that the other one is withdrawing, they become obnoxious. I want to pick up on that. And I have a follow-up question to the session when you said that people emit – that's my wording – emit chemicals, and do you remember what I mean?
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: And I wanted to know how far are these chemicals spreading or how far is this resonance and picking up and stuff going, in physical terms?
ELIAS: Oh, it could travel quite a distance. I would say that that can travel actually, I'd say, likely up to (pause) perhaps even 120 kilometers.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: In a circumference.
ANON X: In a circumference.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: Hmm. Interesting. Okay. Okay, good. Thank you. Then let's go in—
ELIAS: You are very welcome
ANON X: (Laughs) Thank you. Then let's go into this topic with my mother. You said I should think about an example, but I have—
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: — actually, actually I kind of have two. And my mother was not as violent as my father. I only remember one dramatic time. But what she had, she felt… I mean, later, I had terms for that. When you're a child, you don't have vocabulary to label, name something, but she felt—
ELIAS: You don't always even know what something is.
ANON X: Yes.
ELIAS: It seems normal.
ANON X: Yeah, exactly. And I would from hindsight, from an adult point of view, I would describe her as rather overwhelmed and frustrated, and especially depressed and somehow like trapped in this situation for a long while, and… and… Um, yeah, sad and depressed. She tried to do her best, I guess, but it must have been hard for her to be in her position.
And I have a feeling that some – and I would like to talk about that. Sometimes when I, for example, want to do something, in my… What I experience is that I experience chaos within myself and stress. It's like I don't know where to start, and I don't… I feel like drawn between, “I do this,” and “I have to do that,” and da-da-da, backwards, forwards, torn between the things, and I often felt as if there is a lot of threat with that combined. And I know of the history of my mother that she was in [the] Second World War, and her father was incarcerated for something, and then her mother tried to look for him and she was locked up as well. And my mother was the second oldest of five, and she had… And she was like ten or something between ten or twelve, maybe eleven, I don't know exactly. And she had—
ELIAS: When that happened.
ANON X: When that happened that both parents disappeared in all this war chaos, and she was the oldest girl of the five. The oldest child was a boy and then she was the oldest girl, and so she had to, like take care of the four siblings and herself. That's what I have been told. And… But I sometimes think if this, this whole combination of this chaos breaking loose in myself in certain situations, especially when I feel under pressure, like time pressure or something, that if that is something like transgenerational influence and trauma, traumatic influence from her experience of chaos in this.
ELIAS: Yes. (Inaudible)
ANON X: Pardon?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes, it is.
ANON X: Yeah. Because this feels so weird, you know?
ELIAS: Meaning what?
ANON X: Meaning what? That it's such a weird, overwhelming, automatic experience. Then I… What helps is if I make to-do lists, if I structure myself, but the emotional component is at times so overwhelming that I almost don't think about making a to-do list and structuring myself. And I feel this chaos as if I was in it, but I don't have it outside. (Laughs) And so, it's… I feel really stressed with this. And yeah, I still… And it's really weird. It's still a topic that I—
ELIAS: But you don’t—
ANON X: Pardon?
ELIAS: But you don't have the actual reason for it.
ANON X: Not really. I mean I can, I can think about, “Okay, I'm one of those kids who has been, like sent out into the environment and come back when it's starting to get dark, and I'm not structured and educated. There were not adults that would structure me like, “This is how you do this,” and “This is how you do that,” and cultivate a structure within myself. So it might be a combination of both of these things. But this, this feeling of threat and this feeling of chaos, even if there is no chaos, this is the weird part. You know?
ELIAS: That, let me express to you, I understand why you would look at that as strange or odd, or in your words, weird, because that stress actually comes from infancy and from before you were born. Because in that, you're, or it's being transferred to you, what your mother experienced or what she was stressed about, in relation to what she had been told and how she had been raised, because of your grandmother's experiences. Therefore, in that you have a lot of experiences that’s not yours, but that you are feeling, even though you don't have that actual experience.
ANON X: Yeah, that's what I meant by transgenerational—
ELIAS: Yes
ANON X: — stuff.
ELIAS: Yes, precisely.
ANON X: Mm. And do you have any additional... like recommendations or… or… Other than, “Okay, sit down. Make a to do list. Relax yourself. Allow yourself time. Allow yourself to not feel like not enough time. Not enough this. Not enough—"
ELIAS: I wouldn't necessarily… Well first, let me ask you: Does the to-do list help?
ANON X: When I do it, yes. The point is that I don't do it all the time.
ELIAS: Ah. I'd say it's a matter of looking at the experience. When you are feeling the anxiety or the stress, then look at that experience. Ask yourself first: Is there something in my now that is influencing me with that? If you cannot find something in your now that is influencing that feeling, then it's most likely coming from that source, your mother, your grandmother and their experiences. Do you understand?
ANON X: Mm-hm.
ELIAS: Therefore, in that, what I would say is first do breathing. Then if that isn't alleviating it enough, then after you do breathing, meditate for five minutes.
ANON X: I see. Mm-hm.
ELIAS: That will definitely help.
ANON X: And what kind of meditation—
ELIAS: Because—
ANON X: Pardon. What kind of meditation do you have in mind, when you say that?
ELIAS: Simple. Simple. Simply generate a meditation that allows you to, in a manner of speaking, concentrate on the feeling, that this feeling doesn't belong to you.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: And meditate on that.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: Then you can begin to recognize… After a while, you shouldn't have to do the meditation. The breathing should be enough.
ANON X: Mm. (Pause) Hm. (Pause) Hm. (Sighs) You know, sometimes when I start to… I have a feeling that I have been living in a way not very physical, physically-oriented. And currently it's a U-turn, like 180 degrees physical, to a lot of—
ELIAS: Ah!
ANON X: And to a large degree, so to speak. And when I do that, sometimes I… It feels like, “Oh, but if I do that, then this is connected with that, and I have to do that too, because…” da-da-da, “This is missing here,” or “I need that,” and da-da-da. And it's like so complex, because—
ELIAS: Yes, and then you spiral.
ANON X: Yes, and then I spiral. Right. And—
ELIAS: And that is unnecessary. What I would say to you in that is, when you start thinking in that manner, that's the same as the feelings. Therefore it's a matter of, once again, notifying yourself, in a manner of speaking, and in that, causing breathing, and if the breathing doesn't calm it, then do a five-minute meditation.
ANON X: Mm.
ELIAS: Because it's coming from the same thing.
ANON X: (Pause) Because when I observe my husband, he doesn't seem to display this. He stays calm, he stays structured, he whatever, but he is a common and he has always been very outwardly-oriented and physically doing things and stuff. And he has a very different family background regarding being beneficially structured, from the adults around him, cultivated into structure. And so it's… I sometimes wonder what is what at the moment. You know?
ELIAS: Meaning? Meaning what? Explain.
ANON X: Yeah. Yeah. I think… everything. I have said everything. It's why... why I get so stressed out over this, instead of just staying calm, while he's… while he like picks it up, and then “Okay,” and then he's—
ELIAS: You're different. You're not the same people. And in that, there's no reason for you to compare with him, because he's different.
ANON X: Yes. Everybody is different. That's right.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: That's right.
ELIAS: His experiences are different and therefore his actions and behaviors are different.
ANON X: Yes, that's right.
ELIAS: But it also has to do with his personality.
ANON X: Yes.
ELIAS: You are more emotional than he is.
ANON X: (Chuckles) Yes, that's right. That's right. Okay. So, um… Let's talk about if… What, what do you, what do we do with my mother in regard to trauma and trauma sessions and stuff?
ELIAS: What do you feel, other than what we've been discussing already? What do you feel or perceive were contributing actions of trauma with your mother? (Pause and Anon X sighs) What behaviors did she have in relation to you that would contribute to childhood trauma and/or leading into adult trauma?
ANON X: I really don't know. So clearly, I mean what I didn't like, I felt her always like wanting to live through, through her children. And I found that that was something increasingly uncomfortable for me, when I entered puberty and adolescence, and… Because I wanted to distance myself, and I had this feeling like, “Get a life, get a life for yourself.” But of course from today's perspective, I can understand why she expressed the way she did. And— (Sighs)
ELIAS: That's not necessarily trauma.
ANON X: Right, right, right. So… So it's amazing. I don't know if there is much trauma.
ELIAS: I would say with her, no. I would say that there are things that she transferred to you unwittingly in the womb, and as an infant you assimilated that energy. But other than that, I would say that your mother didn't actually express anything that would be traumatizing to you.
The thing that I was, in a manner of speaking, pointing you towards when I expressed that you should be looking at your mother also was not that she necessarily caused trauma with you, but more so when there is one parent that is predominantly responsible for the child's trauma, then there is something about the other parent that is allowing that to happen.
ANON X: Yeah. Pooh! (Chuckles) This is easier said than done. You know, you have to take it in the… in the time frame. That was a time when there was… The pill was not yet available freely, as it would be now. Divorcing was not so easy, living on your own, raising kids on your own. It was… I guess she was, in a way, trapped herself for a while. And as soon as she had figured out a way how to leave, she did. She immediately did.
ELIAS: I understand that. But as a child, you may not have understood that.
ANON X: That's right.
ELIAS: You're looking at that from the perspective of an adult.
ANON X: Yeah, that's right. That's right.
ELIAS: And I'm looking for what your experience was as a child. Because children then, if they… if they have one parent that is responsible for trauma, it's not only that the other one isn't rescuing them and is allowing it to happen, in the perspective of a child, but it's also something that contributes to the child moving in a direction. If that parent isn't coming to their aid or to their rescue, then it can generate considerable resentment.
ANON X: Towards the—
ELIAS: And that can carry on into adulthood—
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: — and affect the relationship considerably, even to the point of having no relationship with that parent because there's so much resentment. And you don't even entirely know what the resentment is, because it's what a child would be expressing, not an adult. And therefore you don't know even what the reasons are, other than what you can identify in what you felt as an adolescent.
ANON X: Mm. Understood.
ELIAS: Therefore that can be very affecting also.
ANON X: Mm.
ELIAS: And it can be affecting of you, in association with being a mother yourself.
ANON X: (Sighs) Okay. So what do you see happened in my case? How would you describe it?
ELIAS: I would describe it as first of all, having no actual role models for parenting. And in that, the takeaway has been that you didn't learn how to parent as a mother and you did carry on the anger piece from your father.
ANON X: What do you mean by that?
ELIAS: That you didn't... You didn't express the same thing – and this is very typical, that as an adult you wouldn't necessarily, although many individuals do, repeat the exact same behavior as your father, but you did carry on with what you learned about not being considerably tolerant of other individuals if they weren't moving in a similar direction as you. Which we've talked about.
ANON X: Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Um… Hm.
ELIAS: In that, you become frustrated and irritated. You don't express it in the manner that he did but you have, from all of that experience with him, learned that behavior of frustration and irritation. What you do with it is take it out on yourself. You might be frustrated or irritated with someone else, and you'll remove yourself from them.
ANON X: Yeah, that's correct.
ELIAS: Yes, which doesn't hurt them. It hurts you. (Anon X sighs) Therefore—
ANON X: Yeah!
ELIAS: — you continue to carry on that expression of being hurt. But your father's not hurting you now, you're doing it. Because that's what you've learned.
ANON X: Hm. Okay, let's… Let's perhaps use the example where we finished the last time, with which we finished the last time. These two guys, the one who… Both started out nicely, and the first one became rather obnoxious and toxic. I really think the term toxic is, even though it's a fashionable term, it fits with him. And so I saw no reason, and no... My interest in continuing that relationship or deepening it really disappeared, because this guy was in his early seventies. He's a neighbor, a couple of houses down the street, and his patterns are so automatic and so deeply rooted that I saw no space or room for any change on his end. And it was just so… it felt too exhausting to continue in this.
ELIAS: I understand.
ANON: It felt unattractive and exhausting, you know. Like I thought about okay, if I just focus on the topics that might work more easily, but I would—
ELIAS: Stop. Let’s… Let's be clear, though,
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: Some people are simply very different and you simply might not like them, and that's different.
ANON X: Yeah, so where is… where is the difference? The other one, I liked him in the beginning, but then I got to know him better, and I thought no, I don't want to go forward with that. And the other person, he is… He is… I mean he… He presents himself as really nice, but he's… I perceive him as really down-looking on people and on myself. And the point was that he's even a coach and he's so… I mean, it sounds so arrogant, but he's so little self-aware about what he's doing and stuff, that I thought (exhales) okay. How… How… Again it sounds so exhausting to continue in this relationship, because I like authenticity, and it didn't feel authentic. And I presented some things that we could do together, but… He said yes, but he did no. (Chuckles) And somehow it...
ELIAS: As friends.
ANON X: Pardon?
ELIAS: As friends.
ANON X: Yes.
ELIAS: Ah.
ANON X: Like listening to music together or so, because blah blah blah, and then he started doing these things with my husband that I said I would like to do with him, and he did them with him. And nothing matched up, and I felt increasingly uncomfortable and… And so I thought, okay, I withdraw. It feels so uncomfortable. I withdraw. Because there is nothing. You have to have something on which you can build a relationship.
ELIAS: Correct.
ANON X: And I have—
ELIAS: Correct.
ANON X: You know, I have relationships where I really feel really, really, really content and satisfied and where authenticity is and where openness can live. And it's not that that doesn't happen. It does happen with people, so it's not all just me. You know?
ELIAS: No, I agree. I agree. That's what I was expressing to you. That at times, it may simply be a situation in which you don't resonate with the other individual, that you are very different, and that you can't seem to move in a direction that is comfortable and that doesn't require considerable work,
ANON X: Right. Right, right, right.
ELIAS: But that's simply a matter of differences. Which then you can move in the direction of expressing that acceptance of those differences, but you don't have to be friends with the individual.
ANON X: Right. So I don't know where the… where the… I don't know even if to say issue is at the moment, because either a relationship has a flow and develops naturally from the inside out, because it's a match, so to speak.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: Or it's… or it's incompatible. It turns out to be incompatible. And… And then… And then some, I mean this, this day and age, I experience it as so intense and so volatile. And so people are… It's high… How do you say? Very dynamic, and so there is not much calmness or time, like it would have been fifty years or so ago, where you could sit and talk, or forty years or so. It's different.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: It's a different.... I'm in a different age.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: And… and the time quality and the environment and everything, it's really different, like compared to forty years ago.
ELIAS: Yes, I agree.
ANON X: So… So… I mean… I mean, I had the situation with one forum member, where the forum member thought I was talking about this person, them, but I was talking about another person. And this person wouldn't believe me, and no matter what I did, this person insisted on their interpretation or perception that I was talking about them. And—
ELIAS: Ah, yes.
ANON X: And then… And then… I mean, where is the ground? Where is…?
ELIAS: There is none. There is none. And therefore it's simply a matter of making your choice to, in a manner of speaking, walk away and simply accept that the other individual has a very different perception from yourself, and that you choose not to be engaging a relationship with them.
ANON X: Yeah. The point is, it's a matter of... It’s a matter of trust.
ELIAS: Yes, it is. (Inaudible)
ANON X: If my husband would say to me, “Oh, you have cheated on me,” and I would say, “I haven't,” and I literally haven't, and he wouldn't trust me and he wouldn't believe me, it would cause such a problem. But—
ELIAS: It would.
ANON X: Since we have a relationship that is built on trust and honesty, if he questions me and if I say no, he knows that I'm speaking the truth and so we can continue.
ELIAS: Good.
ANON X: But we couldn't, we couldn’t continue if he would insist on a wrong perception, on an incorrect perception regarding--
ELIAS: Correct.
ANON X: Regarding what really happened. The facts, if you want. That, that just doesn't work. So, okay. Okay. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Yes. I agree.
ANON X: Then I go.
ELIAS: In that, I would say that some individuals can break trusts and in that, they can move in a direction in which if they don't trust, it affects the relationship to where you can't trust that they will accept you. Do you understand? It moves in both directions eventually.
ANON X: Yeah, it's... It becomes dysfunctional in one way or another.
ELIAS: Correct. Yes.
ANON X: And that's the point. And that’s the point. I mean, if you have a friendship, I mean a real friendship, this is more than an acquaintance.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: A friendship.
ELIAS: And it's based in trust. You are right.
ANON X: Trust. Trust is a huge component.
ELIAS: Yes, it is a very big component,
ANON X: Yes. Yes.
ELIAS: And in that, it's a matter of communicating and listening and in that, sharing but then being able to accept the other individual's point of view or perception, even if it's different from your own. And meaning the other individual in this situation. And in that, when that can't happen because the other individual may have trust issues to begin with, which they do in this situation, that it creates this chasm between you and the other individual that can't necessarily be leaped. And in that, then that's what I'm expressing, as it creates a situation in which it is dysfunctional, but it began dysfunctional.
ANON X: Okay. Yeah.
ELIAS: Otherwise, otherwise the end result wouldn't be what it is. Do you understand that?
ANON X: Yeah, yeah. Because my experience is when you have… When you enter a relationship and there is a… like a potential for a really, really good relationship, then the potential unfolds over time and… But it is more—
ELIAS: If both individuals allow it to.
ANON X: Yes, and if they are interested in, and if both take responsibility for themselves and for the—
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: For the relationship itself. And this is also—
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: There is also, I mean, if I talk about my husband, when we… when we… when we talk about stuff and I might say something that he doesn't enjoy hearing, or vice versa—
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: But I take it into heart, and he takes it into heart, and we honestly say, “Yeah. Okay, you have a point. I'll think about it and I’ll see if I can do something about it. Let me... Give me a little time.“
ELIAS: Precisely.
ANON X: This is what I mean. This is how, this is how functional relationships unfold.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: And, and this is… You have the potential, and you have patterns that are functional. You know? And—
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: And I, I tend to withdraw when I see that, that there is too little of… potential or functional, functional, let’s see, markers.
ELIAS: Yes, I understand.
ANON X: Because you notice red flags or you'll notice green flags.
ELIAS: You're correct, you are correct. And sometimes you might see green flags, and it then might change.
ANON X: Yeah. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And usually, when it does change, it will change abruptly.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: And that can be confusing.
ANON X: Do you mean that… Do you mean that you took something as a green flag, while it had a lot of red in it (laughs) already?
ELIAS: No.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: No. When you were interpreting as green because that's what the other individual was expressing also,
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: And then abruptly, it changes.
ANON X: Okay. (Pause) (Sighs) Okay, let's go back to you saying that I have… like… I don't know your specific wording. I have to listen again, but something... I assimilate… Let me word it like I took on board certain patterns from my dad, but in a different version somewhat.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: Where do you see me expressing that otherwise? In other words, where is room to grow and… and move on towards better patterns?
ELIAS: I'd say we've discussed this, where that has expressed itself and where there is room to grow, and in that what you can do. What is the remaining difficulty or problem, in your words or your terms, would be the other individual now. Because you ARE looking at these pieces of yourself that you have developed in relation to your parents.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: Or I would say I've given you information about your mother today, BUT you have information about your father and your behaviors, and you're already looking at those and already moving in directions of paying attention to yourself and making different choices. The difficulty now, it lies with the person that you want to generate a relationship with. Which is very similar to the other situation that you were discussing previously where the other individual refuses to listen to you—
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: — or your side of the story, so to speak.
ANON X: Okay. Comprehension question. Now it's a little bit too mysterious. Are you talking like my daughter, for example, and the forum member, these two?
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON: Okay. Okay. So… So you would say that my daughter has picked up certain patterns or expresses certain patterns, and now it's me having to… to… I don't know if It's a matter of having, but being, being in the situation of dealing with that now? Meaning her—
ELIAS: Not entirely. No.
ANON X: Okay. Can we make it a little bit more specific, so that I can understand it?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: Because you already have been looking at yourself—
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: — and your behaviors.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: You already have been doing that, and in that, we've discussed that in relation to your daughter. But what I'm saying to you is the similarity with the forum member—
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: — is that your daughter might not actually accept what you've worked on and what you've changed.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: And therefore, she might not move in the same direction as you.
ANON X: Do you mean that she wants to, would… Want is the wrong wording, Sorry. Would like tend to hold me in an old image from the past?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: So and you... Do I understand you correctly, that you give me some tips or advice or recommendations how to address to that or how to deal with that in a beneficial way?
ELIAS: But that's the point. That's the similarity with the forum member, is that it's a possibility. I'm not saying it's an absolute.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: Because you haven't actually significantly engaged her yet, correct?
ANON X: No, I have… Um… I have this hesitation.
ELIAS: Which is very understandable. That's your intuition.
ANON X: Yeah, and I have heard that her kids are very… are in a very challenging condition, so to speak. They are all three now, seems to be labeled as ADHD, and the oldest, which is so dear to my heart, is also being suspected to be autistic. And so I really, when I heard that, I was really hit hard as a grandmother and (sighs), worried and concerned about the kids, and I had to kind of calm myself and whatever. So it's complicated, everything. It's not just my daughter now, but the kids are, they are not well, as I hear, at least partially not well. And I would like to help so much. I would so much like to help, especially the kids and… and…
ELIAS: But you have to go through her to see them.
ANON X: I know. I know. I know. I know, but it's just… it's just adding to the complications.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: So let's make it specific please, regarding my daughter.
ELIAS: Regarding your daughter, I'd say that your feeling is your intuition telling you or warning you, in a manner of speaking, that she may not be open to listen to you, and that she may not be yet open or ready for a relationship with you.
ANON X: Yeah.
ELIAS: That doesn't mean... Now; that's... You notice I said, “may not.” I didn't say “is not.”
ANON X: Yes, and I heard the “yet,” because the yet is what I feel the strongest.
ELIAS: Yes, and that is also a significant piece. And I'd say that the children contribute to that. You're correct. There are layers in all of this, and it's not straightforward. The children contribute to that because she, in your terminology, has her hands full with them.
ANON X: Absolutely. With her whole life.
ELIAS: Yes. And therefore, she may not be open to adding anything else in.
ANON X: Yes. Yes.
ELIAS: But that doesn't mean that I would discourage you from trying (pause) or making an attempt. And even if she moves in the direction of saying no, it's still, in a manner of speaking, your first attempt. And you can build on that for the future, when she is ready. (Anon X sighs) Because you're establishing now that you've been addressing to your own perception, your own behaviors, and that because of that, you're in a position in which you're looking at her differently. You're looking at yourself differently. You are wanting a relationship with her and with your grandchildren. And in that, it starts a foundation.
ANON X: I mean, the expression… You have this wonderful sentence, "Energy is the first language."
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: And so I trust that… that when I emit this energy and the chemicals even, you know?
ELIAS: Yes. Which is what you began with.
ANON X: Yeah, right. And she's not living so far away. So my chemicals have a possibility or potentiality to reach her.
ELIAS: Definitely.
ANON X: And (sighs) I don't know if… I don't know how to… how to verbalize, how to find words even, to figure out the meat of the matter, what you mean in regard to her, so that I can get out some information I can build on, more than you just started to like circle around, but not be too specific.
ELIAS: What do you want specifics in?
ANON X: Yeah, that's the challenge. Um… You said, if I understood it correctly – I have to listen again, of course – that I am now on the receiving end, and I'm like dealing with… I'm presented with her expression. So how would I best… How would I best engage her and express myself towards her? What would you say?
ELIAS: I'd say that you have the ability now to write to her in one manner or another, either via your computer with email or with your phone with texting. Correct?
ANON X: I would write an old classic snail-mail paper letter.
ELIAS: You can do that also.
ANON X: Yeah.
ELIAS: You can also do that. And in that, writing her in one form or another about yourself, in what you have been engaging and working on with yourself and how that has changed your perception, your behaviors, and that you value her and that you want to have a relationship with her, and that if she's not ready to do that, you can accept that, but that you are starting in this direction now, in relation to what might become in the future. Because this is something that is very important to you, and that you want to have a relationship with her and with her children, and in that, you know that trust has to be built between you, but that you also know that that can happen and that you definitely want to move in that direction.
ANON X: Okay. And do you think…? Do you not think that she will perceive that as, “Oh, she's talking about herself. It's all about me, me, me, me, me.”
ELIAS: No, because it's also definitely about her, that you can even include that. That a large part of your motivation has been about her, to move in a direction of learning how to change your behaviors so that you CAN have a relationship with her.
ANON X: Okay, understood. Okay. I have... Do you want to add anything?
ELIAS: I would also add that it is very important that you express how much you love her, and I would suggest that you do that at least twice in the letter.
ANON X: Boy, I’m so… I'm so I'm so hesitant with saying I love you. (Chuckles)
ELIAS: Why? Do you?
ANON X: Yes, but my way of loving is not the usual way. And—
ELIAS: Meaning, what? (Anon X sighs) What is the usual way of loving?
ANON X: Chuckles. God, Elias, we don't have enough time for that at the moment. (Elias chuckles) When my husband, when she asked him, “How can you live with her?” And he said, “It's based on freedom. Our relationship is based on freedom,” and this is like trust, a huge term for me, related to relationship. And loving means for me that I want what she wants for herself, if it includes me or not. This is one thing, one of the qualities of what I consider love.
ELIAS: And isn't that what you want?
ANON X: Yeah, but perhaps… Usually, people often… often have much more, like slings and catches attached. And my version of it is not like that.
ELIAS: It doesn't matter.
ANON X: Okay. Okay.
ELIAS: You still love her.
ANON X: There are moments when I miss her, really.
ELIAS: I would include that, too.
ANON X: Yeah.
ELIAS: Because it's genuine.
ANON X: Yes. That's true. That’s—
ELIAS: And that IS about her.
ANON X: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I need a little candy question. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Very well.
ANON X: Just a brief one. We once talked about a specific spot in my garden that you said is an area of enchantment. And this structure of the garden is rather different now, though not completely. And I read up on “area of enchantment” and there is not much in the material, in the transcripts. And so, my impression was or the question that I came up with is: Is an area of enchantment something that I designate, so to speak, or is it something that is established and I can tap into it, discover it, or whatever?
ELIAS: It's both, because you participate in creating that. But it also has many other—
ANON X: Oh, now there is the clock and the interference. I can't hear you.
(The timer for the end of the session rings)
ELIAS: It is partially you, but then it is also partially many other individuals who have contributed to the creation of that area of enchantment.
ANON X: Okay, so it is… It is a little bit similar to a portal, but it's not a portal specifically?
ELIAS: Mm. No, it's not a portal. It's… It's not a portal at all. (Anon X laughs) It’s something that you can engage in… in mysteries, whether they be in relation to this reality or a different reality.
ANON X: Okay.
ELIAS: You can engage them in this place, this area of enchantment, it allows you to access information. And sometimes, in relation to the energy that you are expressing at any given point, you can also engage magic.
ANON X: (Chuckles) Okay. So now back -- Oh god Elias, I would like to have a whole new hour now. (Elias laughs) This specific spot where it used to be. Is it still active? The area of enchantment?
ELIAS: Yes. Yes.
ANON X: Yes. okay. Then very, very briefly, do we have a portal, portal nearby?
ELIAS: A portal?
ANON X: Yes.
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: I have this time traveler that I asked about and talked about. I have met him again.
ELIAS: Aha!
ANON X: (Chuckles) And… and… and he seems to move through a portal. And is it the same portal?
ELIAS: Yes.
ANON X: Ah, cool. Then I have my next (Elias laughs)… then I have my next candy question ready, and I have to book a session again. You really are addictive. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Ah, but fun is great. (Laughs)
ANON X: Absolutely, absolutely. (Both laugh)
ELIAS: Very well, my dear, dear friend (laughs), I have thoroughly enjoyed this conversation. (Chuckles)
ANON X: (Laughs) Thank you. Me too. (Chuckles) Okay.
ELIAS: (Laughs) In wondrous love to you and dear, dear friendship as always, au revoir.
ANON X: Au revoir! Thank you. Bye.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 5 minutes)
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