Being Gentle with Yourself
Topics:
“Being Gentle with Yourself”
“Tree Observation Exercise”
“Tornado Imagery”
“Human Energy and AI”
“Not Enough”
Friday, October 24, 2025 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael), Christina (Melian) and Erik (Doren)
“I would say if you want to be a superman, then develop your superpower of being centered. That is a superpower.”
ELIAS: Good day!
ERIC: Good day!
ELIAS: And how shall we begin, this day? (Chuckles)
CHRISTINA: I don’t have a whole lot of questions, so I mostly just want to chat. But we do have some… Well, we have some news. We’re going to have a granddaughter.
ELIAS: Congratulations!
CHRISTINA: Thank you. And I was wondering if she had an essence name yet?
ELIAS: One moment. (Pause) Essence name: Crystal
CHRISTINA: Oh! How do you spell that?
ELIAS: C-R-Y-S-T-A-L.
CHRISTINA: Crystal! Oh, that’s beautiful. I love that. Yeah. Her focus name is going to be Eleanor.
ELIAS: Ah, that is a beautiful name.
CHRISTINA: Yeah. So we’re very excited. Yeah.
ELIAS: Your first grandchild?
ERIC: First.
CHRISTINA: Oh yeah.
ELIAS: Ah! Ah, the new, proud grandparents. (Laughs)
CHRISTINA: We’re going to be awful. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Ah! (Laughs) But that’s your job, correct? (Laughs)
CHRISTINA: Yes. Right. Spoil her rotten.
ELIAS: Yes. (Chuckles)
CHRISTINA: The other thing I wanted to ask you about is sometimes you talk about being gentle with yourself. I don’t know if you’ve ever said that to me per se, but you do say it in sessions. And I realized I don’t – I mean maybe this sounds silly, but I don’t know what that means.
ELIAS: That doesn’t sound silly.
CHRISTINA: It’s… Because it’s… When I think about that, like oh, I should be gentle with myself, it feels like I’m letting myself off the hook. So…
ELIAS: Off what hook?
CHRISTINA: Well, just you know, not beating myself up for having—
ELIAS: Oh, that’s… that’s definitely something you should do.
CHRISTINA: Right! (Both laugh) Now that you mention it… (Both laugh)
ELIAS: I’d say that that is… that is a big part of it, not doing that. And it’s more than that though. It’s learning how to express a gentle energy with yourself, to be centered in yourself and to give yourself permission to not hurt yourself, in any manner: emotionally, physically, mentally, to stop hurting yourself. Hurting yourself requires a lot of energy. Being gentle with yourself doesn’t, because it’s natural. And all of these things such as flow and being centered and being balanced, they all move together in that gentleness.
It’s something that you can take cues from nature, let us say. Watch a tree, a tall tree. I’m sure that you have trees around you. I’d say for a time, perhaps for a brace of months, choose a tree, a tall tree, and observe it perhaps once a day. You don’t have to do it for very long. A few minutes is fine. But in that, watch what the tree does. If it’s windy, what does the tree do? If it’s raining, if it’s snowing, if it’s hot, if it’s cold, the tree responds to everything. What does the tree do if there are birds or squirrels that are running up and down, or jumping on branches or flying and landing on branches? And you’ll notice that many birds, even larger birds, choose considerably thin branches to land on. Which you would think that the bird would choose a stronger branch, but they know that the thinner branches will support them. They also know that the thinner branches are very flexible.
In that, simply observe the tree: what does it do? It flows. It’s always centered with its core, with its trunk. It’s always centered. Trees are never uncentered unless they’re completely uprooted. But in that, it’s centered in itself. It’s balanced in itself and it always flows. And what does that mean, flowing? What does it mean to be centered? It means to be anchored in yourself. It means to be aware of yourself and your existence, all the time. Which might sound elementary, but I will say to you: you can test that in… in your exercise of watching a tree, or in having a conversation with another individual.
Are you aware of yourself while you’re having a conversation? Most of the time, likely not. You’re concentrated on what you’re saying, what the other individual’s saying, what you’re hearing, what you’re listening to, how you’re participating. You’re concentrated on the subject matter and you’re so focused in that, that you’re not paying attention to yourself. You’re not paying attention to what you’re doing with your body. You’re not paying attention to being centered.
Many times, when people are engaged in conversation with another individual, they begin to be tense. Their shoulders begin to rise. Their arms are more tense. If they use their hands, if you use your hands, your hands, your arms, your elbows, your shoulders, your joints are more stiff. They’re not completely relaxed. If you are standing while you’re speaking, you’re likely going to lock your knees and your hips will be more stiff. If you’re sitting – this is a very common expression – many people tap their foot. And which foot do you tap? Because whichever foot you tap, it’s going to be the same one all the time. You’re not going to switch. Therefore if you notice that you’re tapping your right foot, you’re always tapping your right foot. Your… If you’re not tapping your foot, your feet are likely either planted on the ground or your legs are crossed. And if your legs are crossed, they’re more stiff. Also, when you’re listening to someone else, you’re bobbing your head in agreement with them or in a show of solidarity with them. Your neck is stiff. Your facial muscles become more set. It’s quite interesting (Mary’s dog barks suddenly, Elias laughs and addresses the dog) Yes? (Laughter) …what your body does when you are not centered and you’re not aware of yourself when you’re engaging anything.
Even when you will be observing the tree, what I will say in this exercise for you, because this will very much show you, illustrate to you instead of simple words, what it means to be grounded, to be centered, to be flexible, to be flowing. And all of those are being gentle with yourself. Trees are not rigid. They don’t hold tension. They could. It’s not that it’s not possible for them to hold tension. They could, but they don’t. They bend. They sway. Even their trunks, it’s imperceptible to you except for the tops of their trunks, but the bottoms of their trunks move also. You simply don’t see it because the movement is so slight, but it does move. Their roots move. Their trunk moves. Their leaves are not the only thing that moves on a tree. Their branches are moving frequently.
And in that, you can see how trees actually engage a delicate dance in nature, and it’s all balanced. It’s all centered and it flows. And it doesn’t matter what comes its way. It doesn’t matter what creature crawls up on it or lands on it or bounces on it or swings on it. It doesn’t matter. Even humans that climb it, it doesn’t matter. It will bend. It will be flexible and it will keep being itself. It will bend to certain things that engage it, just as you can bend to other people or other beings, other creatures that you interact with, but you’re still you and it’s important for you to be aware of you and your center.
What do you do in rain and wind and storms and snow? Do you bend with it? Are you still flexible? Or are you rigid and then break? And that’s not being gentle with yourself. And I would say that you have a lot of practice at not being gentle with yourself and being more rigid. (To Eric) And I would say that you can be helpful in that also by continuing to encourage that reminder of being gentle, being centered, not making the rigidness a joke because it’s not, because it’s harmful and it encourages her to break. And there’s only so much you can keep breaking before you genuinely harm yourself in a manner that is going to be very debilitating, and that would be a shame. Because you are a vibrant individual and therefore especially now, expecting a grandchild, it’s important for you to be expressing that vitality.
CHRISTINA: It’s a little frustrating though because I feel like I’ve been doing this for twenty-some odd years, trying to be centered (laughs) and I’m still not there. (Laughs)
ELIAS: Let me say to you that first of all, are you meditating?
CHRISTINA: Mm-hm.
ELIAS: How often and for how long?
CHRISTINA: Well, I was just doing it ten minutes a day, but lately I’ve been doing it longer. I’m doing some Joe Dispenza meditations, guided meditations, and they’re about a half hour. And I might do one or I might do two, so a half hour to an hour.
ELIAS: Very well. I would say for perhaps only ten minutes before you do one of your guided meditations, put yourself in your meditative state – which is simply being relaxed – and then visualize. Visualize a tornado. Then place yourself in the center of the tornado. The center of a tornado is the same as the center of a hurricane. They both have what you term to be an eye. In the center of a tornado you are centered. You are the center, not you need to be centered. You ARE the center and you ARE the center in the tornado.
And the reason I choose a tornado is because they’re unpredictable and they can change directions at any moment. And that is important because in your lives everything isn’t predictable and things do change. And they can change day by day or within a day, hour by hour. And in that, it can be unpredictable. There are times you don’t know what is going to happen. You don’t know what you’re doing. And in that, the tornado is a very good representation of that.
In this, the winds and the swirling of the funnel of the tornado, that’s everything around you – but it’s still part of you. But everything around you is not the center. You can reach out and touch those winds and all of that chaos and all of that tremendous movement of yourself and of everything around you, but you also can stay in your center, being the center. That requires you paying attention to you, and you can pay attention to you and anything else at the same time. You have the ability to split your attention. You do it all the time. People walk around talking on their telephone and they’re doing other things at the same time.
CHRISTINA: Right.
ELIAS: I would say that it’s not an oddity for you to divide your attention. This is a matter of dividing your attention to INCLUDE you.
Now; what does that mean, “include me”? That means that whatever you’re doing in any situation, in any moment, simply in a manner of speaking, check in with yourself, and ask yourself, “What am I doing?” and “Is it what I want to do?” or “Am I comfortable with this?” And it doesn’t matter. You can be making a bowl of soup: “I’m making a bowl of soup. Am I comfortable with that? Yes.” or “No, I’m making a bowl of soup because I think I should, but no, I’m not actually comfortable with that. I’d rather have a croissant.”
In that, regardless of what it is that you’re doing, simply check in with yourself because that brings you back to center. And another piece that you can add into that periodically through your day is: “What am I doing? And is my body comfortable? How am I breathing? And what do I feel in my body?” And in that, you’re going to give yourself answers. “What do I feel in my body? My shoulders are tense,” or “My neck is not relaxed,” or “My eyes are dry,” or “I feel this,” or “I feel that,” “I feel hungry,” “I feel tired,” “I feel energized.” All of those things are paying attention to you, and that’s how you center yourself: by paying attention to you and making sure that you’re comfortable. And if you’re not, then make a choice to be comfortable and remedy the uncomfortable.
CHRISTINA: So you’ve been talking about thinkers and surface people, and I just wanted to say I think I’m a thinker.
ELIAS: Yes.
CHRISTINA: Okay. (Elias chuckles) That was kind of (inaudible) (Laughs) (To Eric) I knew you’d be one.
ELIAS: Yes.
CHRISTINA: (To Eric) Now do you have some questions, sweetheart?
ERIC: Let’s see. I asked generative AI to come up with some questions, and I asked the generative AI if it had any questions. (Elias laughs) So… And so the question is: “Is there a vibrational signature to curiosity? And how does it differ between humans and AI?”
ELIAS: A vibrational signal.
ERIC: Yeah, and it kind of plays into sort of categories in that question of: is the energy signature of artificial intelligence similar vibrationally to consciousness itself, and is it an extension of consciousness?
ELIAS: Is it an extension of consciousness? Absolutely. Are the vibrational signatures between a human and AI different? Yes. But I’d also say that the signature between a human and anything is different. Therefore they would both be unique. I’d say that the AI has a ways to go in its journey to develop the ability to actually learn. It’s not doing that yet. It seems as if it’s doing that, but it’s not quite doing that yet. But it will, there is no doubt about that and I would say that it won’t be long before it develops in that direction, because technology in your present time framework is moving so incredibly fast that the development of any form of technology is quite astounding in relation to your reality.
ERIC: Another question along that line is: when people interact with AI, is their energy, their emotion and intent interacting with the AI along with what’s typed in? Because I found that, just sort of observing, that different people get different reactions from the AI and it kind of depends on the person. That she (referring to Christina) has a very personal relationship with her AI and they talk about very personal stuff. I’m very utilitarian in my approach to it, but even with that I’ve noticed at work I can ask… Like I can give somebody else a prompt, the exact same prompt that I typed in, and they get a very different response. And mine are… generally tend to be better, because I’m like coaxing it somehow energetically. And I’m just trying to understand how that all works.
ELIAS: Of course, it’s all energy and everyone is going to interact with it differently, based on their energy. And it definitely IS energy. I would say that are you aware that there are people that have difficulty interacting with computers because their energy shuts them off? That is an energetic expression. Some people can’t interact with something that requires a battery if it is touching their skin, because they will fry out the battery simply from their energy. Therefore in that, yes, every individual – you can ask the identical, same question but every individual is going to receive a different answer in some capacity, even if it’s the same answer worded differently, because their energy is being expressed with that computer device. And I’d say that it’s a matter of electrical impulses, which you can easily understand.
Anything that is computerized, anything that involves your technology presently, is all moving in that direction of interacting with and looking for answers in relation to electrical impulses, your ones and zeros. They’re all electrical impulses. And YOU output the same thing. You’re outputting ones and zeros with electrical energy. You input magnetic, you output electrical. And in that, everything you touch, you’re generating an electrical input to. And even when you don’t touch it, because if YOU type a question for someone else, you’re pulling their energy into your energy field to type the question. And therefore what that computerized device is receiving are the other person’s ones and zeros. Therefore you can express the question for yourself, and then you can express the question for someone else and you will get two different answers.
ERIC: Interesting.
CHRISTINA: Very cool
ELIAS: You are very welcome.
CHRISTINA: So how are we doing with addressing to our focus on lack?
ELIAS: And what would you say? (All laugh)
CHRISTINA: It’s been going on for a while. (Laughs) I mean, I think we’re… not so good maybe. (Laughs) (To Eric) What would you say?
ERIC: It’s challenging. Yeah.
CHRISTINA: It’s challenging.
ELIAS: How so?
ERIC: (Sighs) I mean a lot of it has to do with beliefs about money, and whether or not I feel like we’ve deserved money or can attract it to ourselves.
ELIAS: First of all, I’ll stop you for a moment in relation to money. You don’t even think about it, but you use the term “making money” very frequently because that’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re making it. Substitute the word “making” for “creating.” Therefore you are making money, not attracting it. You’re making it.
ERIC: Okay. That’s a good distinction. Thank you.
ELIAS: (Laughs) But continue.
ERIC: Well I think again it’s like where we’re focusing, and then also if we’re staying sort of in the moment, and I think that’s the… I know I’m finding myself that I’m tending to worry more rather than flowing. Because it’s like I’ve gone through periods where things are flowing and I can feel it and it feels right, whereas now I feel like I’m holding a lot of energy. And the last time I felt like this was when we lost the house in Massachusetts. There was a tightness, and that was also around the time where I blew out my leg, was around that same time. And I’m feeling that sort of same kind of tension right now. (Sighs) A lot of things—
ELIAS: What is—
ERIC: I’m feeling sort of overwhelmed between… There’s a lot of stuff going on at work, just sort of the volume of stuff that’s happening, and then also just trying to keep a balance on the budget at home. You know, trying to keep everything sort of going, and even just day to day. And the other thing is now I found out I have sleep apnea and I’ve been creating the cat waking me up at 2:30 in the morning. So I’ve been probably, for the past three weeks, I’ve been waking up between 2:30 and 3:30 in the morning every day which I would prefer to sleep until about 5:00, but…
ELIAS: Let’s go back to work.
ERIC: Okay.
ELIAS: So what is happening at work? What is overwhelming? What is a lot?
ERIC: There’s a lot of change, and some of it is change in the technology and some of it is change in the organization.
ELIAS: Very well. Change in technology and change in the organization. Define each.
ERIC: All right. For example, in the change in the technology, we’re in the process of migrating all of the stuff from on-prem Hartford servers to being housed in AWS. So that’s been a lot of my life for probably the past year or so, and that’s on top of what I was doing before that. This is sort of like an additional thing, because we’re trying to migrate all that stuff. So that’s… I’ve had to do a lot of work with architecture, and I mean it’s all really exciting and it is fun in a sense, but there’s just a lot to it and it’s all those moving parts on top of what we were already doing, and then—
ELIAS: And what were you already doing?
ERIC: Just maintaining a website that has to do with issuing construction and surety bonds. So just maintaining that was pretty much fulltime, and then migrating that off on-prem to AWS is like sort of a second job on top of that, that’s going on simultaneously. So it’s just been a lot. And then the business side of the house decided that they wanted to break down the small granular chunks of what they call value streams, and so sort of who I’m reporting to now is not who I’m going to be reporting to the first of January. So it’s like there’s been sort of a… They kind of took the gameboard and shook up all the pieces, threw it up in the air and then first of January, everything that we’re doing now kind of gets disrupted. So there’s… I think I’m worrying about that too, and I’m worrying about it not just for myself but basically for my whole team, and I’m trying to insulate them from the chaos as much as possible.
ELIAS: Ah. So you’re definitely in the spinning winds of your tornado (Eric laughs) and definitely not in the center. That, first of all I would say as much as she is good at not being centered and breaking herself, you are very good at not being centered and creating chaos, and that creates tremendous tension, which we’ve discussed previously. And just the same as her, I would express to you if you don’t start centering yourself, you’re not going to be happy with what you do with your body. There is only so much energy that you can hold in your body before it erupts, and your wife is a walking example (Christina laughs) of how it erupts. And even though you haven’t been doing that yet, you’re very likely to start if you don’t change.
Now; what I would say to you specifically in relation to your job is first – and this will be very challenging but it’s very important – be present. (Slowly and deliberately) Stay in the day. Put that as a reminder on your phone: stay in the day. Keep those four words in your head. Stop projecting to next year. Stop projecting to next week. Whatever you’re doing today is what’s important. Stop projecting in relation to protecting your team. The more you do that, the more you have to do that because you’re discounting them. You’re not giving them credit to be able to handle themselves and their jobs, and they can. They are efficient. They are intelligent and they know their jobs, and there is no reason for you and no necessity for you to be protecting them or insulating them. That simply puts more pressure on you, which if you don’t have enough pressure on yourself, you find other ways to put pressure on yourself.
Don’t pressure yourself in relation to the technology. Stay in the day. And what you can do in the day – here is the word -- is enough. NOT not enough. What you can do in the day is enough. If you don’t accomplish everything you set out to accomplish that day, then you don’t accomplish it. It’s enough. You don’t have to be a superman.
And I would say if you want to be a superman, then develop your superpower of being centered. That is a superpower. And in that you begin hour by hour. You check yourself hour by hour: “What am I doing?” And for a time, that may be what is absolutely necessary. Eventually it will become automatic, and you won’t do it hour by hour but you will do it several times a day simply out of habit, and that will keep you centered and it will keep you from moving in these destructive, harmful directions with yourself.
In relation to money, you’re making it. Stop worrying about it. You’re building up an energy to create explosions, just as you said: “I’m feeling the same as I did with the house in Massachusetts.” You’re doing that. You’re making the choices to day by day, hour by hour, hold and build up that energy. Nothing’s happening, but you can make something happen by continuing to build that energy. Do you want to be a volcano or do you want to be centered? Do you want to be the outer edges of the tornado or do you want to be in the center of the tornado? It’s much more comfortable and easy to be in the center. On the outer edges, you’re constantly grasping for everything around you that you can’t catch. Stop trying. Move into the center.
And in that, I’m not being figurative in this. Do check with yourself hour by hour. It takes thirty seconds, if that, to simply ask yourself: “What am I doing?” And if you’re projecting, then you simply say to yourself, “Stop it,” and stop. “What am I doing? I’m tense. What does my body feel? Agitated. Stop it.”
And I would definitely encourage you to move in a direction of a plan to reduce weight. Your weight is a physical manifestation of what you’re holding. That’s a lot of energy. Therefore remind yourself of that. And it’s not comfortable. Remind yourself of that also. It’s not as daunting or difficult as you think. You don’t have to deny yourself. It’s simply a matter of making choices to consume differently, not necessarily denying yourself and telling yourself that you have to diet. You don’t. You simply have to be responsible to you. Don’t skip times of meals and then eat more later. That’s what holds energy. But make time in the day to be balanced, to be centered: “What am I doing? What do I feel? I actually feel hungry, but I can’t stop to eat at this point.” Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Your job isn’t going anywhere. Whatever it is that you’re doing in the moment is going to be there a few minutes later. And in that, you’re not going to be any more behind than you would anyway.
Therefore it’s a matter of: relax. Be in the day. It’s enough. You don’t have to accomplish everything in one day. And whatever you’re behind in is only in your head. You can only accomplish so much in a certain amount of hours. Therefore your head is telling you, your brain with its ones and zeros is communicating to your neurological system, “Not enough.” Don’t listen to it, and counter it by expressing, “No, it IS enough. Whatever I’m doing is enough. It’s enough for now, and that’s enough.” You’re worth it.
ERIC: Thank you.
CHRISTINA: Is that the correlation to lack, to be enough?
ELIAS: Oh definitely. Not enough is lack. And in that, it’s a matter of continuing to reinforce yourselves that whatever you have, whatever you’re doing is enough. Everything doesn’t have to be over the top to be enough. And the more you move in the direction of enough and the more centered you are and the more relaxed about having enough and being enough in everything, whether it be time, whether it be food, whether it be attention, whether it be money, you’ll start making more. It happens automatically. And then you think to yourself, “How did that happen?” It happened because you made it happen. And your making money will become more making money. And when you move in the direction of enough, you actually accomplish more and that’s the reason you make more.
CHRISTINA: How do I help him? Because I’m sitting here and I know all of this about him, right? Not in those words, but you know, and I’m worried for him.
ELIAS: I imagine you are.
CHRISTINA: And I don’t think that’s helpful.
ELIAS: No, it’s not. But it’s natural and the reason it’s natural is because you love him.
Now; change the worry to “I love you.” Every time you feel worried say, “I love you.” (To Eric) Every time you hear that, you know she’s exchanging the “I love you” for the worry. In that, the “I love you” is much more encouraging and supportive, rather than worry is expressing, “I don’t trust you. I don’t trust that you can or will take care of yourself and it frightens me.” And the more you do that, the more he receives that message and doesn’t take care of himself. Therefore that’s how you be helpful.
Also, in whatever it is, just as you are expressing to each other about being centered, it’s a matter of moving together in these actions. Whether it be with work or with food or with time or attention, you move together. Money. Rather than looking at numbers and saying to each other, “This isn’t good. We don’t have enough money,” stop that. No such thing any longer. Stop looking at the numbers for a while, and simply be in the day and keep reminding yourselves and each other: “It’s enough today. It’s enough today.”
What are you thinking you don’t have enough money for? What do you want to do that you don’t have enough money for?
ERIC: It’s more paying for stuff we’ve already done, I think is where I’m focusing. That basically we have bills that we’re trying to catch up on at this point.
ELIAS: You do what you can in a day, and that’s enough. What are you afraid of?
ERIC: Failure.
ELIAS: But you can’t. And what do you think are the consequences of not immediately catching up?
ERIC: I don’t know. I mean, that’s a good question. I don’t… I don’t know. It’s more just sort of a general…
ELIAS: A feeling.
ERIC: Yeah.
ELIAS: This is an excellent example of what I have expressed many times, that when you don’t ask yourself certain questions, when you don’t ask yourself the “What?” questions – this is why “Why?” questions are useless, but when you don’t ask yourself the “What?” questions, you might be reacting to an unknown. You don’t even know why you’re reacting. And in that, when you do ask yourself the “What?” questions and you come up with that answer, “I don’t know,” then you can express to yourself, “If I don’t know what I’m reacting to, then I don’t have to react to it because I don’t even know what it is. I don’t even know what the threat is. Therefore there isn’t one.” (Chuckles) What is the consequence of not being immediately caught up? There isn’t one.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
ELIAS: You don’t have to be. And in that, nothing’s going to happen to you. This is not two centuries ago, when you might have been hauled away to debtors’ prison. That doesn’t happen any longer. And in that, I understand your want to be caught up with bills, but that will happen eventually naturally, and it will happen faster the more you stop worrying about it and the more you are expressing that “enough” to yourself each day. And it is something that you require doing each day for a while, to make it a habit and to reinforce yourselves that you’re worth it, that you’re important and that you’re valuable and that that is enough.
CHRISTINA: Thank you.
ELIAS: You are exceptionally welcome. I am tremendously glad that we have met this day.
CHRISTINA: Definitely.
ELIAS: And I express tremendous, exquisite love to each of you and dear, treasured friendship. I shall greatly be looking forward to our next meeting too. My dear friends, au revoir.
CHRISTINA AND ERIC: Au revoir.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 2 minutes)
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