The History of the Changing Dynamic Between Men and Women
Topics:
“The History of the Changing Dynamic Between Men and Women”
“Binding Yourself to You”
“A Wobbly Stage”
“The Meaning of Shifting from Dominant Male to Dominant Female Energy”
Friday, February 21, 2025 (Private/Phone)
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Yvonne (Zarla)
ELIAS: Good morning.
YVONNE: Good morning, Elias.
ELIAS: And how shall we begin, my friend?
YVONNE: Well, I was listening to Turell’s session and you were talking about complements, and you mentioned that in the last century and a half that there’s been a lot that’s occurred in our history that’s taken us away from natural complements and knowing how to find them, and that there’s a lot of nuance in this and a lot of historical and societal factors in play. And you said that could be a subject of a history lesson, so I would be curious to hear about that history lesson.
ELIAS: Ah! (Chuckles) Very well. I would say that this is an interesting and complex subject that began in earnest in the 1800s or in the late 1800s, when your suffragette movement began and when society began to turn and women began to move in a direction of expressing their want for equality and expressing that initially in relation to voting rights. But in that, there was already this movement that was occurring in relation to a change in the dynamic of men and women and how they interacted with each other.
Up until that time, men were absolutely dominant and women were subservient to that. And a lot of that had to do with religious influences, but even without the religious influences, it was a given that the men would be the dominant individuals and that they would be the controlling individuals. And they were. They controlled everything.
And in that, when women began to move in a direction of expressing themselves and wanting to be a part of directions such as politics, and in the beginning all they wanted was a vote but that had also begun to evolve in relation to the nineteen hundreds, and in that, moving in directions of taking on more roles that were more designated to men and challenging that authority of men.
Now; this is a complex subject because it has so many tentacles, let us say. In the time framework of The Great War—
YVONNE: World War II?
ELIAS: No. That would be your first world war, which was designated as The Great War.
Now; in that, in similar manner to your second world war but in an initiating capacity, that gave way to employing women to be doing jobs that would have been designated for men, but the men were involved in the war. Therefore the women were involved in the war effort, which meant that they were now engaging jobs that would not have been allowed or afforded to them. That started an entire movement, because at that point then women began to realize that they had the same intelligence, they had the same abilities in many directions as men. And therefore when The Great War ended, these directions had already been put in place and in motion.
Now; that spread in other directions. It wasn’t only that women realized that they could do similar and the same jobs as men or that they were just as intelligent and could be engaging higher education, but then they also began to look at the family dynamic differently. Not necessarily being as willing to simply marry, bear children and be a wife, but beginning to move in directions of looking at their lives and what they wanted and not being entirely content to be wives and mothers, and not being as willing to bear as many children. Which then also created conflicts in relation to religious beliefs and religious philosophy and interactions and… And let me remind you that at that time, this is in the early throes of your twentieth century and for the most part people were still very involved with their churches, with their religions. That was a very big part of their lives. And in that, there was a pushback from women in relation to that, in disagreeing with the religious dictates.
YVONNE: Right. Because the religion… Like the religious institutions were run by men, but in the individual churches women do have, did have a lot of power in the sense of they’re the ones keeping the social fabric together of the church, like running the church potlucks, you know, kind of all of that. And without them the church wouldn’t be functioning.
ELIAS: I would agree. But in that also expressing that influence in manners that were creating disruption. And there was a very strong push to hold together the direction of the churches and to hold together that male authority, which did continue through I would say the midpoint of the twentieth century. It was in one capacity seemingly slow movement, but in another capacity, within the span of a century a lot changed. And in that, what also began to change was the directions of individuals moving in expressions of same gender relationships, which began to be expressed more and more. And in that, also individuals in the very beginnings of choices to not necessarily engage children, which was also something that was defiant in relation to religions.
In this, as time progressed, the scope of what was occurring in relation to what was being expressed as gender equality was escalating and becoming more openly displayed and expressed. And I would say that once you moved just past the midpoint of your twentieth century, it became something that was very obvious and was being expressed then in relation to actual activists, therefore reverting back to the type of activism that was expressed by the suffragettes.
YVONNE: Right. Yeah, all the feminist activists.
ELIAS: Correct.
Now; what happened in relation to a lot of that is that things started to change not only in a physical capacity in relation to political expressions and dynamics in relation to the family and home, but things started to change in relation to physical expressions associated with the body, in men and women. This is a part of how energy is affecting of everything. For because the energy was shifting and changing so much, it also began to alter expressions with the physical body with men and women.
YVONNE: So what kinds of physical changes do you mean?
ELIAS: The physical changes began in relation to infertility with women and difficulties with men with situations such as erectile dysfunctions, which began about that time in mass. And in that, that also created more difficulties in relation to procreation and infertility. And because women were moving in a direction of wanting to be a part of the workforce and because their direction was changing, it took away from them paying attention to – and men paying attention also – to what complements actually were. They were so focused, and still are, on careers and moving in their own directions that the expression of actually engaging with a partner in relation to a complement situation in relationships, that people have forgotten what to even look for.
YVONNE: I see. Yeah.
ELIAS: And in that, they’ve forgotten how to move in a direction of finding that complement. You don’t have situations in which people are courting each other.
Now; in that, I am aware that people think that is a very old-fashioned, obsolete, unnecessary action and direction but in actuality that ritual, let us say, of courting was actually very important because it gave people the opportunity to discover whether they were a complement or not. Because in that action, they would be engaging in mundane expressions that would allow each individual to observe and recognize whether they were flowing with each other or whether there was difficulty in relation to—
YVONNE: And you don’t have that in one date at a restaurant.
ELIAS: Correct. They were engaging in actions that were what you term to be normal. They would be engaging walks together. They would take meals at each other’s homes, in the manner that they were accustomed to. They would be interacting with each other’s families. They would be observing how each other engaged in mundane situations and therefore be able to evaluate: “Does this person actually complement me? Do we flow together or are there obstacles?” And in relation to your twentieth century and women moving in a very different direction, they weren’t as concerned with whether someone was a complement to them or not. And men became busier and busier in competition.
YVONNE: Mm. And they were now not only competing with other men, they were competing with women.
ELIAS: Precisely. Precisely. And that was the point. And therefore everything in your societies became more intense and faster and more competitive. And in that, everyone is paying more attention to their careers and the workforce than they are to the family unit. And because of that, other things began to happen physically, not only infertility but also difficulties with reproductive organs in men and women. And in that, a significant spike in cancers and a significant spike in other physical manifestations that created difficulties in relation to reproducing.
In this, it has also then moved in a direction in which people are opting not to engage families, in which they are opting not to engage children and are partially choosing that because they’re having so much difficulty in finding a mate that is an actual complement to them. Which, as I expressed, they’re having so much difficulty because they’ve forgotten how to do it. And in that, you’ve moved in this other direction of dating and dating applications, and then what you believe you’re expected to do in relation to dating.
YVONNE: Right. Which is not… It’s the criteria list and not finding a complement.
ELIAS: Absolutely. Most definitely. And that steers you in a direction that is not a complement and therefore is not likely to generate a successful relationship. In this, you now have a breakdown in the fabric of relationships and that creates a breakdown in the expression of family dynamics and creates a breakdown in the physical expressions of the physical body consciousness.
And now you’ve moved in a direction in which there is a backlash with men in which now they have moved in a direction of the opposite of that dominance and are in many, many situations feeling useless.
YVONNE: Yeah. That’s what I have gathered from a lot of situations that I’ve heard about anecdotally, of like the rules, so to speak, of dating have changed. And obviously there are these issues that you mentioned with how people are going about it now, but it seems like a lot of men were like, “Wait a minute! We knew what our role was, you know, which was to be providers and to set the direction of the family.” And then now women have their own jobs and their own directions in life and they don’t want to be treated like a junior partner in the relationship and do all of the, 100% of the domestic chores anymore. And then when a lot of women are in relationships with men and they don’t want to be doing all of the labor 100% themselves that’s associated with the home and home life because they’re also working or simply not as interested in it, and if the men aren’t pitching in then after a time they leave them. And the men are like, “Well, if she doesn’t need me to provide for her then what good am I?”
ELIAS: Yes, and “What is my role?” and “What should I do?” And therefore they either turn their attention entirely to their job or they move in the other direction and don’t have much interest in their jobs and feel useless in relation to society and family, and don’t know what to do. And that actually creates another dynamic, another tendril in this situation in which then the men become more dependent. They express more dependency upon the women and in that, they have a considerably difficult time if they are not in a relationship, and any relationship is better than no relationship. (Yvonne laughs)
Which then of course lends itself to not moving in a direction of complements or even paying attention to complements, because they are moving in a direction of they would rather be in any type of a relationship than not be in a relationship at all.
YVONNE: Yeah. And it feels like a lot of women aren’t feeling that way. They feel differently, because there is also the saying or the situation, like for example on the dating apps, that it’s like oh, the woman is the prize. There are so many more men on the dating apps than women and it’s so much harder for the men to get a date than it is for the women. And it’s like well, in society there’s actually about 50-50 men and women, well, anatomically at least. (Laughs) We have all of us non-binary folks in there as well, which is a whole other element to this. But the men are… It’s like there’s a lot of women who are single that are opting out of this, I feel like.
ELIAS: Yes. I agree. And I would say that you are correct. We’ve only been discussing the traditional roles, and now you add into that in this beginning quarter of the new century the direction of people redefining themselves, in association with gender and structure and direction and identity. In all of that, then you are complicating the situation even more. (Yvonne laughs) Now there are all of these different identifications of expressions of people and how they define themselves and their identity, and that becomes even more confusing to many, many, many individuals.
And in that, what I would say is what has occurred is the more people move in the direction of thinking that they have created more freedom, the more they’re binding themselves.
YVONNE: Could you explain?
ELIAS: Because the more they identify in these directions of creating these new identities – and I’m not saying that that’s wrong; actually, it’s very much in keeping with this shift in consciousness but they haven’t learned yet what to do with all of that. And therefore what happens is, the more that you move in these directions of what you think of as new freedoms, the more you create a separation between yourself and others, and therefore the more you bind yourself. That you’re binding yourself to you and having more difficulty in relation to connecting with others.
Now; as you continue to move in that direction and become more self-aware, that does actually give you more freedom and eventually as you become more self-aware and you are genuinely aware of that interconnectedness, that then aids you in moving in a direction in which you can connect with others, but at this point you’re still in somewhat of a wobbly stage.
YVONNE: Yeah. It’s like I still don’t even understand—
ELIAS: Like knowing what to do and how to proceed, because many, many, many individuals are not yet aware of that movement into more self-awareness. And therefore that moves back to the difficulty in interacting with each other and the difficulty in not knowing how to move in the direction of complements. And you will also note that the expression of prostate cancer in men has spiked tremendously.
YVONNE: Oh yeah. It’s very common.
ELIAS: And yes, has become so common that it’s unusual for a male individual of certain ages not to have it.
YVONNE: Yeah. It’s like oh, over forty, men’s prostates get enlarged.
ELIAS: Yes.
YVONNE: And it’s like kind of a thing that everyone expects, which in the past it would not have been normal.
ELIAS: Correct. Correct. And all of these things are interrelated. And I’m not expressing that it’s bad that the dynamic with men and women has changed, and I’m not expressing that it’s bad that women have moved in that direction of wanting to express that equality, but that you haven’t reached a balance yet.
YVONNE: Yeah, that’s what I was thinking when you were expressing all of this, that it’s like the whole… like suffragette and like feminist movement was all really like an expansion of women, realizing that they have the same intelligence. That all just feels like okay, as humans, we kind of outgrew that old model of women being sort of subservient, and now it’s ready for that portion of the population to expand. But we did it in a way where we forgot all of the beneficial aspects of the old dynamic, which in this specific instance is the complements.
ELIAS: Correct. And in that, it also has been done in a significant push.
YVONNE: Very quickly.
ELIAS: Yes. And it could have been engaged in the same amount of time without that tremendous push and force, which would have made a significant difference, but that’s not what you did. And in that, it’s a matter of now understanding what direction that you took and how that has affected your society, how It’s affected all of these dynamics in relation to the family and the physical expressions and health and well-being of individuals in your societies, and how that also then affects the children that you do have. And in that, children having more and more nervous and anxiety disorders in their formations.
YVONNE: ADHD.
ELIAS: And in that, having more difficulties and that also affects the family dynamic because the parents don’t have the patience that they used to have because they’re putting so much pressure on themselves in relation to their contribution to society, their own direction, their element of competition and being in positions of winning and as I expressed previously, you haven’t yet moved in that balance and therefore what has occurred is women have simply learned from men how to be competitive and therefore they are moving in a very similar direction and emulating, and that creates more difficulties in relation to the family dynamic.
And let me express, the reason that I am continuing to emphasize the family is because for humans it is natural for you to couple yourselves, and it’s natural for you to procreate. These are natural directions and they are so much a part of you that you’re very drawn to do that.
YVONNE: Sure.
ELIAS: And in that, people that are not engaging in a partnership, they may be choosing that intentionally but they also will feel a pull in that direction. They’re going to feel something missing.
Now; it’s not something that is necessarily so strong that the individual would override it or move in a direction of struggling and expressing that justification that they are choosing not to move in that direction eventually, and therefore fighting with themselves. But I would say that there is some awareness that they’re moving in a direction that doesn’t feel natural.
YVONNE: Mm. I see.
ELIAS: And I would say that this is something that is expressed by both men and women. People might think that it would be only women that would move in a direction of feeling that they are missing something by not choosing to have children, but men move in that direction also. And that’s part of this coupling that is a natural action for all of you. It is a matter of recognizing that you’ve only had one and a half centuries of moving in a different direction, a very different direction, and you have an entire history before that of a very different dynamic. Therefore it’s something that will feel unnatural even though people move in that direction intentionally and are choosing that intentionally. It does create difficulties and it creates difficulties in association with all types of relationships.
YVONNE: Oh, sure.
ELIAS: That’s the reason that it’s something that I emphasize in relation to the family dynamic, because that influences all relationships. It influences your relationships with friends, with acquaintances, with your society, with your coworkers, with everyone.
YVONNE: So I imagine if we’re creating a new, healthy balance in relationships and the family unit, there would be… If you had… Let’s say you do have a couple who are genuine complements to one another. There could be a lot of different expressions of that balance. Some people might choose to go in the direction of the very traditional, like how things looked more than a hundred fifty years ago, and that could work for them. But then other people might have both parents, for example, that are working in jobs outside the home and they find some balance that way that will look different to the other example that I gave.
So it’s like I imagine there are some people today that do have a balance, but not society in general. And I was wondering too if, since you mentioned there was so much push towards competition and focus on careers, at least in the U.S. and I know other countries as well in the world, where people work a lot (laughs) and there is… I feel that even in myself, who is not in a coupled relationship at this time, it’s like I feel even like okay, I am productive for maybe a total of five hours or so in the day but I work eight hours a day, forty hours a week. And it would probably be more efficient for me just to stop after that five and do something else and come back later or… in general in the society, if people worked less hours, and also really it’s okay.
We’re drowning in stuff in this world. (Laughs) Like we are really good at inventing things. We have too many things, too much trash, too much products that are nominally helpful and it sounds like some of that has even come about from this competition that we just keep inventing more and more things without stopping and being like actually we have enough solutions to this certain issue already, and maybe we should focus our time somewhere else, like maybe back on family or something else. So what would you say to that?
ELIAS: I would say that that would be moving more in the direction of balance. You are correct. Some people are doing that and some people ARE moving in directions of balance in many different manners, meaning that some people are engaging with a family but in the capacity that both parents are working. Some people are moving in those old, traditional directions in which one parent is remaining in the home and the other parent is working. Some people are choosing not to engage a family, but are being very supportive of other family members who ARE moving in that direction. Therefore there are many different expressions now in how people can move in the direction of balance, and they are beginnings.
But I would say that it’s something that is going to be – and already is – challenging to reestablish that balance, to reestablish healthy relationships with each other in whatever capacity they are expressed.
Knowing that this is the direction that will be establishing all of you differently in relation to this shift in consciousness, and beginning to understand what these dynamics are. I would say even in relation to the concept, let us say, of the energy shifting from the dominant male to the dominant female energy, people still don’t know what that means.
YVONNE: Mm. And what does that mean?
ELIAS: People think that that means that everyone should be more feminine or should be acting more feminine or should be acting more like women, which is not the situation at all. It’s a matter of that energy shift is about shifting away from dominance and competitive to intuitive and moving in an expression of cooperative instead of competitive.
YVONNE: And that’s the shift from the masculine to feminine?
ELIAS: Correct. Correct. And in that, it is not about acting more like a female individual. It’s a matter of employing more of the energy of intuition. Which I will say that in physical focus, women are not necessarily more attuned to their intuition at this point than men are. Because of all of this that has been occurring in this past century and a half, women have moved in the direction of emulating men, and therefore they’re not any more entuned with their intuition than men are.
YVONNE: And that would be one of the true differences between men and women, of the men being more competitive and women being more intuitive and cooperative.
ELIAS: Yes, but you’ve lost that because you’ve moved in a direction instead of paying attention to men and learning from them and emulating them.
YVONNE: So even like a balance in the family or in the workplace would be still women taking leadership roles, but not trying to do it like men do but employing that cooperation and intuition. And certainly men could benefit from that as well.
ELIAS: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes, I would very much agree. And you are beginning to take steps in that direction now. And therefore you’re beginning to move in the direction of that balance, which is excellent. But it’s also, I would say, a challenging road because this is a matter of individuals moving in this direction but in mass.
YVONNE: Yeah. Yeah, and moving in your own natural expressions first and then learning how they interact with others.
ELIAS: Yes. Most definitely.
[The timer for the end of the session rings]
ELIAS: Therefore you see that this is a complex and tangled subject that involves many different angles and affects all of you, regardless of whether you are engaging a family yourself or not. Because you still have a family, you still came from a family, and therefore regardless of what direction you move in yourselves and how you are influencing, you are still being influenced by family.
YVONNE: Mm-hm. Yeah. I’ve personally have been working through (inaudible) myself. Yeah.
ELIAS: Therefore that’s still a center. It’s still a core, and it has been from the dawn of your species.
YVONNE: Well thank you so much, Elias. This is a really fascinating conversation.
ELIAS: You’re very welcome, and I agree. (Both laugh) I express great encouragement to you, my friend.
YVONNE: Thank you.
ELIAS: And I would also acknowledge you in presenting excellent questions.
YVONNE: Thank you.
ELIAS: And this I would encourage you to continue.
YVONNE: Thanks. Taken note.
ELIAS: Until our next meeting, in tremendous love to you and in great encouragement in everything that you are engaging. And in our next conversation perhaps we will revisit your exchange with your two essences.
YVONNE: Sure.
ELIAS: Very well. I express to you dear, dear friendship. Until our next meeting, au revoir.
YVONNE: Au revoir. Thank you, Elias.
(Elias departs after 1 hour 3 minutes)
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