Session 20060629 (2025)

“Widening Awareness May Cause Discomfort”
“Childhood Nightmares from Bleed-Throughs or Trauma”
“Familiarity Versus Excitement in Relationships: Not an Either/or Choice”
“Compromise and Acquiescence as Opposing Energies”
"Fun Is Not Bad"

Thursday, June 29, 2006 (Private/Phone)

Participants: Mary (Michael) and Brenda C (Leonora)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!

BRENDA: Hello. I think I'm a little nervous. My heart is racing. (Elias laughs) So I guess you know who I am?

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Yes.

BRENDA: Could you tell me my name as you know me?

ELIAS: Essence name?

BRENDA: My essence name.

ELIAS: Very well. Essence name: Leonora, L-E-O-N-O-R-A.

BRENDA: I like it when you say it. (Laughs) Can you tell me my essence family and my alignment?

ELIAS: And your impression?

BRENDA: Sumafi, I'm not sure exactly whether essence family or alignment.

ELIAS: Family.

BRENDA: Family. And maybe Milumet for the other?

ELIAS: Correct.

BRENDA: Wow! (Laughs) What about my orientation?

ELIAS: And your impression?

BRENDA: Soft?

ELIAS: Correct.

BRENDA: The other question I'm not sure exactly what your category is maybe of, energy type or focus, the energy where I process.

ELIAS: Focus type.

BRENDA: Focus type, yes.

ELIAS: Emotional.

BRENDA: That’s what I thought. I thought it was yellow anyway. (Elias laughs) Am I a final focus?

ELIAS: No.

BRENDA: Oh. My impression was different on that. Do you know why I might have thought I was a final focus? What I was feeling that made me think I was, perhaps?

ELIAS: At times individuals may generate an association with being a final focus if they incorporate some association, even in an underlying manner, of incorporating many focuses in this dimension, but that is not necessarily associated with the position of the designated final focus. But some individuals do generate an association, if they have incorporated many, many focuses in this reality, that may lend to a sense that you have generated many experiences and therefore perhaps you are done. (Chuckles) But, in your terms you are each done once you have completed your individual focus (chuckles), for you do not return.

BRENDA: So I have incorporated many focuses in this world in this dimension?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: Do you know how many?

ELIAS: One moment. (Pause) 1,944.

BRENDA: Wow. I guess I think sometimes this life is very uncomfortable, because I thought maybe I was not familiar with it.

Can I ask you to tell me some of the basic information that you just did about the essence name and the family and alignment and orientation for some people that are dear to me? Can I ask you that kind of question?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: Could you tell me about my son, Zack?

ELIAS: Essence name: Tirim, T-I-R-I-M. And your impression as to essence families?

BRENDA: I have trouble with that. I don't know; that doesn't resonate very well with me, and I really don't know. I think his orientation might be soft.

ELIAS: Correct. Essence family, Sumari. Alignment, Gramada.

BRENDA: That's interesting. What about his focus type?

ELIAS: Political.

BRENDA: Political. Ok, I have a twin sister, Linda; can you tell me that about her?

ELIAS: Essence name: Ruthanna, R-U-T-H-A-N-N-A.

BRENDA: Right. My impression for her, and it may be just because we're twins and we're a lot alike, is that we have some similarities in family and alignment, is that right?

ELIAS: You incorporate the same essence family, Sumafi, but your alignment would be different.

BRENDA: What is her alignment?

ELIAS: Her alignment: also Gramada.

BRENDA: And is she soft as well?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: Is her energy type the same as mine, emotional?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: Can you tell me this information about my husband, Chuck?

ELIAS: Essence name: Hugo, H-U-G-O. And your impression?

BRENDA: For his orientation?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: I struggle with that. I think it's different from me, and I think maybe is it common?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: What is his focus type?

ELIAS: Political.

BRENDA: And his essence family and alignment?

ELIAS: And your impression?

BRENDA: I thought one or the other was Sumari?

ELIAS: Correct. And the alignment?

BRENDA: I'm not sure.

ELIAS: Vold.

BRENDA: Vold. Oh yes, okay. I see that now, I remember. Okay, and one last person: K.?

ELIAS: Essence name: Geraldine, G-E-R-A-L-D-I-N-E.

BRENDA: Her orientation? Is she intermediate?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: Do we also have the same essence family, the Sumafi?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: And what is her alignment?

ELIAS: And your impression?

BRENDA: I don't know; either Milumet or the Tumold, one of those?

ELIAS: Tumold.

BRENDA: What is her energy focus type?

ELIAS: Emotional.

BRENDA: Makes sense. Have she and I shared or had relationships in a number of focuses?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: Can you tell me how many?

ELIAS: 158.

BRENDA: There are three areas that I want to explore with you today, and one is concerning my relationship with K. and my husband and some of the conflict I've had over that. But I also wanted to talk to you about my intent and exploring that. I've been exploring it some and wanted to get some input from you on that.

But before we talk about either one of those, I've been going through reading the transcripts for a few weeks now, and during this time, especially for the past couple of weeks, I keep having these emotional episodes. I don't know what to call them other than that, but it's been very intense emotions. Sometimes it's almost like grief, and at one point after watching a movie it was almost like I was railing at you. I didn't know if you could help me understand what it is that I'm experiencing when I do that?

ELIAS: And what is your assessment?

BRENDA: It seems like I’m experiencing something related to really deep-held beliefs, and some of the things that I’m reading and experiencing through the information that you give. I don't know if it's what you talk about letting the birds out of the cage and there's resistance or pain in letting that go; it's just very intense, and it's some sense of loss and pain.

ELIAS: I am understanding. You are allowing yourself to begin to open a window into yourself. That can be quite unfamiliar, and it can also generate some fear in not knowing what you may discover. But there is also an initial discomfort in anticipating what you may present to yourself in what you may have been restricting yourself with previously.

First of all, let me express to you, do not generate an expression of discounting yourself or expressing to yourself why have you waited so long, or why have you allowed yourself to restrict yourself for such a time framework. This is unproductive, and it merely feeds a lack of trust. Rather, acknowledge yourself that you, as every other individual, generate whatever movement you do in what time you are ready and in what time framework you shall allow yourself to discover new experiences and new qualities of yourself that have always been but perhaps have not always been expressed. In this, rather acknowledge yourself that you are choosing to embark upon a new adventure of discovery and exploration and the wonderment of what you shall present to yourself rather than discounting yourself.

Understand that your beliefs are not your enemy. Understand that every belief incorporates many influences, and therein lies your freedom. Familiarizing yourself with you, familiarizing yourself with your beliefs allows you to generate choosing different influences in association with some beliefs that MAY be creating difficulties or frustrations with you. The belief does not change, but the influences can. And in that, also do not discount yourself for whatever influences of beliefs you HAVE been choosing, but rather acknowledge yourself that you are offering yourself information to widen your awareness and to choose different influences.

You are moving in the direction of genuinely empowering yourself in knowing that you actually create all of your reality in every respect; and in that, if you are creating all of it, you also can change any element of it. You are not the victim of it; you are the creator of it, and the creator can change the creation. Therefore, you are moving into an expression of empowerment and freedom—and THAT, my friend, is to be celebrated, not to discount yourself. (Chuckles)

BRENDA: It's new feelings and new experiences.

ELIAS: Yes. (Chuckles)

BRENDA: Is any of this then related to my intent?

ELIAS: And what is your assessment of your intent?

BRENDA: Oh my. I have thought about that; maybe I overthink about it. At one point it was starting to sound like a dissertation topic which was on gender and identity. And recently, when I was just thinking more about images and things that I'm drawn to, I was moving more toward somehow that it seems like the things that I have done in my life have involved masks and mirrors and roles and circling back around to the notion of something related to exploring my identity, and I lose myself when I get too far into it.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) It is much easier in actuality to simplify.

BRENDA: Yes! (Both laugh) It's not always easier from where I sit, but I definitely see this. When you say these things it does seem easier.

ELIAS: Perhaps we may simplify the identification of your intent in this focus in expressing that it is the exploration of the difference of facade and genuineness.

BRENDA: The exploration of the difference between facade and genuineness?

ELIAS: Yes—which would involve identity.

BRENDA: A mask.

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: And this is something that I was exploring even as a child?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: And I guess that's where, when I look back at my childhood and try to figure out what in the world I was exploring, it's harder to… I guess because in my belief that I always believed that as a child you’re just so un-empowered in family relationships—and I came from a family relationship that was very strong, especially the father—and it's just hard to figure out what I was creating, what I was experiencing. Is that something that you can help me see better?

ELIAS: This would BE the guidepost, so to speak, in allowing yourself to explore your intent and in the evaluation of your experiences with yourself and with other individuals—exploring that difference of what is presented as facade and what is presented as genuineness, or what is PERCEIVED as facade and what is perceived as genuine.

BRENDA: Okay. Yeah, I can see...

ELIAS: The curiosity of what you would term as a child, what is real and what is not in expressions.

BRENDA: Is that related to my dreams as a child? I had really strong, intense nightmares as a child and sometimes would have trouble knowing what was real in my fears at night.

ELIAS: Partially, and partially other-focus bleed-throughs. (Pause)

BRENDA: There was really something bleeding through that I was frightened of?

ELIAS: Yes and no. Individuals, you also included, especially as children, may incorporate dream imagery that is bleed-through from another focus, and it may be interpreted as frightening, for it is not understood objectively. At times it may be a bleed-through of an actual frightening experience; therefore, it can be either. It is dependent upon the imagery that you present to yourself.

As an example: A child may incorporate a nightmare of a vampire or an ogre, and it may be quite frightening to the child in the presentment of the imagery. That may be bleed-through from another focus, but the other focus’s experiences are unfamiliar to the child; they are not within the child's experience, and therefore the child translates that into this type of imagery that creates a fearful response. Or, they may generate imagery in association with drowning or a scene of a war experience which may be the actual experiences that have occurred that are bleeding through, and the child is interpreting them literally and correctly, which may also be frightening.

BRENDA: Right.

ELIAS: But in association with bleed-through, that may be interpreted in different manners according to what the child objectively understands in this focus.

BRENDA: I understand. That makes sense.

Well, thinking about what you said about my intent and all of a sudden I'm processing things through a different filter or something, if my intent is to explore the differences in facade and genuineness, somehow what comes to mind is my other question that I wanted to explore with you about my conflicting feelings that I’ve had for a couple of years regarding my relationship with my husband and my friend K., who became my lover, and my inability to understand or accept that I love both of them but [that] my feelings for them, my feelings of love, are very, very different. And I’m pulled toward a relationship with her but find it so incredibly painful, or there’s such grief in leaving my husband. And sometimes I find myself struggling to understand my feelings and then understanding what of my own feelings are genuine. Is that related to my intent, or something that we could explore anyway?

ELIAS: All that you do is related to your intent. Your intent is the theme of the entirety of your focus, therefore it is involved in every direction that you pursue, or that you engage. But, in that, as I have expressed with other individuals, there are many, many, many fingers, so to speak, or branches of that intent that allow you to explore in specific manners. Therefore, yes, this would be associated with your Intent, but it also would be associated with your beliefs and your exploration of yourself and your movement into becoming more intimately familiar with yourself and your preferences and your guidelines, and what you want and what you do not want.

BRENDA: So when I’m feeling the conflict, is that me not knowing what I want or not accepting what I want?

ELIAS: Clarify the conflict.

BRENDA: That may be part of what I’m not understanding in myself, what the nature of the conflict is. I guess what it feels like is having to make a choice that I don't want to make, and that creates conflict because I have an attachment to both of them and the conflict is in having to choose when I want both. And I think part of the conflict is in what I am familiar with is what I have and what I’m drawn to is unfamiliar to me, so maybe it's the conflicts involving my comfort level or my familiarness.

ELIAS: Partially. In this, let us begin with, What are you attempting to possess that you perceive you do not already have? (Pause)

BRENDA: I think it's intimacy with someone. I think that's what my draw is with K., is that I seek intimacy with her that I do not have with my husband and perhaps with myself.

ELIAS: And in this, you already possess that.

BRENDA: With myself?

ELIAS: With the other individual.

BRENDA: I already have the intimacy with her?

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: Well, I guess if… I mean, I still feel it. I haven't seen her in a year and I’m not physically connected with her anymore, but that sense of intimacy is still there. So I guess if I have that, then what I don't possess right now is I don't have contact; she's not in my life, I'm not physically connected with her, and I'm physically connected with my husband.

ELIAS: Very well.

BRENDA: But with him, I don’t have that intimacy.

ELIAS: Therefore, the actual response to my question would be: What you want that you want to possess that you perceive you do not already have is a relationship with this other individual.

BRENDA: Right.

ELIAS: That you want to engage the relationship with this other individual, but to pursue that avenue you perceive you must sacrifice the relationship that you engage with your partner.

What do you value in the relationship with your partner?

BRENDA: (Sighs) Our friendship. I would say it’s just… it's not intimacy as much as it is familiarity and companionship, but that's what I value with him. It’s more like friendship, companionship, but it's not. It's very, very different. And it's just a comfortable friendship, and when I tried to leave him last year, definitely that friendship, nothing was going to remain—at least in my perception of it, that I was going to lose that connection that I had with him.

ELIAS: But you generate the fear of trusting yourself.

The point in this is not either of these other individuals. The point in this is you, and generating that allowance and confidence within yourself through the empowerment of yourself, allowing yourself to generate what you want without question. The challenge is that, figuratively speaking, you hold these scales. In one scale there is familiarity, and that generates some comfort and a neutrality—and neutrality can be comfortable, and it can provide security and safety, but it lacks excitement—and on the other scale you hold uncertainties, unfamiliarities, unknowns, but the potential for discovery and excitement and freedom. The difficulty lies in that the scales are almost equally weighted, which places you in the middle. That does not allow you to actually move in your own discovery.

For the one comfortable scale, the neutral scale, to REMAIN neutral, there is a perception that there must be a sacrifice of adventure and the sacrifice of moving into more of an awareness of yourself, for if you generate that, it shall alter the status quo. But with the choice of the adventure and the empowerment and the discovery of you, there is the perceived sacrifice of the comfort and the security. I may express to you, NEITHER needs be sacrificed. It is not a matter of either/or. There are many more choices than black or white.

In this, as you move into the discovery of you, and the allowance of yourself to express yourself and to explore yourself, both scales shall alter but none necessarily sacrificed. More, they may be enhanced, for in the comfort and the neutrality, that may be enhanced in new appreciations, for when you are appreciating and acknowledging yourself, you radiate that energy and other individuals express a new appreciation for you also. And in that, the relationship that you have generated in this friendship with your partner can be enhanced. Allowing for yourself to generate your journey in discovery and freedom, you can also enhance the relationship that you want with another individual. It is not a matter of sacrifice, and it is not a matter of either/or.

BRENDA: Well, thank you. That's a lot to think about, a lot to...

ELIAS: Perhaps you may be choosing in this branch of experiences in your focus to be generating some of your self-discovery and exploration with an individual that generates an understanding of gender in similar capacity to yourself, and perhaps you may be exploring friendship with the individual that you have chosen as a partner. (Pause)

BRENDA: That is different. (Laughs) That makes sense. Okay.

ELIAS: What is significant in any of these directions is what you are exploring within you and what you are allowing yourself to express or what you are restricting yourself with.

BRENDA: That may be related to that somewhat in what I’m expressing and allowing myself to explore, I guess since everything's related to the intent. I'm also at the point where I’ve been exploring different career paths and feeling different pulls. I've been in academia and a teacher for most of my life, and I keep being drawn to doing something culinary. I have trouble sometimes knowing whether my pull to that is that it's something that I really desire to explore and to experience or if I’m discounting not trusting my abilities in academia and I’m seeing a path that I perceive to be more fun. I don't know exactly why I am exploring these culinary avenues instead of just further exploring more deeply into the teaching path that I thought was what my desire was, to be a professor, do research, and so now it feels like there's this pull toward taking me away from that to something else that seems very disconnected from academia.

ELIAS: I am understanding. You are exploring preferences AND allowing yourself—or PERHAPS allowing yourself—to genuinely, IN the exploration of preferences, express fun. All that you do is not required to be work.

BRENDA: And so part of why I may be drawn toward this culinary path is that I perceive it to be fun, and…?

ELIAS: Yes, and it is a preference. It is an action that you like to do.

BRENDA: It just seems like I have spent my whole life learning to be a teacher, and everything that I've done has just always been so orientated to learning to teach. It's not me just abandoning something because… I guess it's hard to start accepting that I can choose to do something just because it's preference, [that] it's just what I want to do.

ELIAS: Correct, and that does not discount or devalue what you HAVE done. It does not diminish what you HAVE accomplished; it is merely an acknowledgment that it is not required or necessary to move in merely one direction throughout your focus, that you can actually generate many different explorations; and that also enhances you, for it allows you to generate diversity in your experiences, and it allows you more avenues to express yourself and your abilities. You have expressed your abilities and yourself academically, and you also incorporate a preference for engaging this type of action involving culinary arts. That is a DIFFERENT creative expression—and (emphatically) fun is not bad. (Both laugh)

BRENDA: I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

ELIAS: (Laughs) Fun can be quite rewarding. (Laughs)

BRENDA: Yes, you’re right, and I have fun in the kitchen, but it's a very different world. It's nice to get out of my head sometimes.

ELIAS: Yes.

BRENDA: Well, Mary asked me to keep track of the time, and I wanted to ask you a question about my twin sister and our relationship. Is there some reason that we chose to come and have this intimate relationship with each other?

ELIAS: There is always a reason that twins manifest. (Chuckles)

BRENDA: Is it a fun reason? (Laughs)

ELIAS: Generally speaking, yes, for it allows for a specific type of connection between two essences that express a type of bond in commonalities of energy, and in that, also somewhat of commonalities of qualities. It also allows the individuals that participate in that choice, yourself and your sibling, to generate somewhat of an exploration of less separation in that interconnectedness. (Pause)

BRENDA: I definitely see that, and it's amazing the connectedness between us. We’re going through similar experiences, but they’re also very different in this exploration. She had asked at one time if I would find her essence name, and she did ask me yesterday if you had advice or anything you could say to her right now about she's in a place that's very conflicting. I told her I would ask, so is there something that you could tell her?

ELIAS: Conflicting in what manner?

BRENDA: A relationship. She's in a relationship with a man, and she's moving to do a new professorship and she's… It's a very conflicting relationship where neither one trusts each other in relationship to fidelity, sexual fidelity, and she's feeling a lot of self-doubt and I think unworthy, maybe, of an intimate relationship that she’s seeking, and she’s just in a lot of conflict over why she's generating this in her life right now—the relationship aspect, because her career is very successful, but the relationship is very tumultuous.

ELIAS: Very well.

There are similarities in her energy and your energy. There are similarities in the experiences underlyingly, for there are similarities in what you each express. Your imagery may be different, but what motivates it is very similar.

I would express the suggestion that she practice appreciation—genuine appreciation—of herself and acknowledgment of herself, and NOTICE when she is compromising, or acquiescing, or being defensive, for these are all opposing energies. And in creating opposing energies you reflect opposing energies, and you reinforce them. Therefore, it may be quite significant to be noticing when defensiveness is being expressed and when compromising or acquiescing is being expressed.

The compromising and the acquiescing is what appears to be a temporary fix of a situation, but in actuality it generates more destruction. That is an action that creates actually the reverse of what you think it will create.

BRENDA: [Inaudible] I will share that with her.

We’re at the time limit, so I need to end our session, but I did want to thank you very, very much for the session. I wasn't sure it was going to happen. (Both laugh) I'm very, very grateful to have interacted with you. I would wish you well, but is that even appropriate for where you are? (Both laugh) You’re always well.

ELIAS: I shall receive it regardless. (Laughs)

BRENDA: (Laughs) Thank you very much, and I hope we can have another session sometime soon.

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend, and I shall be anticipating our next conversation.

BRENDA: Thank you.

ELIAS: I shall be offering my energy to you in encouragement and supportiveness, and you may offer to your sibling also that I shall offer my energy to her.

BRENDA: I will be receiving it with much appreciation, and I'm sure she will too. (Elias laughs) Thank you.

ELIAS: I express to you in genuine appreciation and great lovingness, my friend, au revoir.

BRENDA: Au revoir. ‘Bye.

(Elias departs after 58 minutes)

©2006 Mary Ennis. All Rights Reserved.

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Copyright 2006 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.